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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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Old 07-24-2009, 11:39 PM
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Default Crimson Tide

Done
Rotom ~ 40 - 55
Tynamo ~ 20 - 30
Litwick ~ 20 - 30
Golett ~ 20 - 30
Minccino ~ 10 -20
Magnemite ~ 10 - 20
Cottonee ~ 10 - 20

Total = 130 - 205

Crimson Tide


The year is 2080; humanity has begun exploration of space after experiencing over six decades of strife and warfare that utterly changed the way humanity viewed itself and the world. Between 20-60 and 2080 historians of the time dubbed that era: ‘The Golden Age’. Little did they know that this era would abruptly end in a way that shook humanity to the core and forever changed the race. But, if one is to understand the future, one must look to the past.

The wars first began at the turn of the twenty-first century when the United States was attacked on September 11, 2001 by terrorists. The Middle Eastern state of Afghanistan was invaded first, followed by the country of Iraq. The Iraq war ended in 2010 when then President Obama ordered the American troops out of Iraq, the attention returned to Afghanistan. The War on Terror, as it was called then, continued through 2015 in Afghanistan. The focus was shifted to Iran when it was invaded in 2018 by the United States and Israel after Iran successfully tested nuclear and long-range weapons. The occupation of this country lasted for four years before a new regime was installed. The resulting twenty years of war were later called the Arab wars. The result left the Middle East, with two democracies in Iran and Afghanistan, and the country of Iraq shattered and split into three different countries based upon the fractions that inhabited them. War was reinstated again in 2025 when North Korea launched a missile attack against South Korea in January of that year. The excuse was that it was a missile that went haywire. The backlash against the small country was sizable, but no military action was taken until six months later when North Korea tried to test a low yield nuclear weapon.

The United States responded with an air campaign which likes hadn’t been seen since World War II. Less than two weeks later almost one hundred percent of North Korean forces were destroyed, which enabled South Korea to invade, reuniting the countries under one government and bringing stability to its population. Although the United States felt justified in its response, the United Nations, particularly Russia and China, were harshly criticizing the United States, and imposed a boycott and economic sanctions. After dealing with the increasing pettiness of the UN the United States called it quits and left the UN for good. Tensions escalated as the UN disbanded two years later and the three countries of Russia, China, and the U.S. were brought dangerously close to war. Peace lasted five years until the year 2030, when the second American Civil War broke out.

Unlike the first American Civil War this war didn’t take place between two areas like the north versus the south. It was neighbor against neighbor, brother against brother and so forth. This was involved many issues cultural issues that were important to the people. The crown loyalists, as they were later called in history, tried to grab more power than was deemed by the American constitution. The opposite faction was just called the loyalists and they wanted a return to the constitution. War didn’t start out at first; it was just two political parties. But after the crown loyalists installed a President for life and abolished the congress, war broke out. The war lasted for five long years before the nation’s enemies tried to seize on chaos of the nation and invaded the country.

In the year of 2035 China launched an attack against a U.S. army base in the Philippines, most men had been called home for the civil war that was raging, but some bases still remained open. One month later China landed troops on the west coast of America while Russia landed troops in Alaska and the east coast. Despite their many differences the two American factions joined together to battle the invading powers, as did other nations who quickly chose sides in the conflict as they were forced to. The battle on American soil lasted seven years before the invading forces were evicted; even though they were battered and bruised, the remaining American forces took the fight to the aggressors. World War III ultimately ended five years later when Russia was broken up into over a dozen different nations while the ruling dynasty in China was overthrown. As the world rejoiced over the end of a brutal world war in which countless millions perished, the American Civil War resumed with renewed vigor. The war lasted for three more years when the loyalists defeated the crown loyalists. The original documents of the country were restored and many things were allowed that hadn’t been seen for a century. All told, almost a billion lives had been claimed by the war, and countries destroyed by the conflict. Now, only three super powers remained Germany, USA, and Japan.

In the year 2047, the technology had changed to plasma weapons, which had been created during the later part of the American civil war, and the first space ships were being designed. By 2057 space ships were advanced and capable of sustained space flight; the Moon Wars had been and gone. The moon was now divided into new territories by the super powers, with the United States owning the most of the surface. Three years later in the year 2060, humanity spent the next twenty years pushing deeper into space in the quest to find other worlds.

While these twenty years were called a golden age by modern historians, many years in the future many Pokemon and humans alike would call those years either a curse or the calm before the storm that was to come. One thing was agreed on, those past sixty years were nothing compared to what was coming. Many wondered if instead of a golden age of peace and humanity had continued its way of war, would they have been more prepared for war. Those sixty years of war had hardened the heart of every human and Pokemon to expect war and trials it would being. From a young age, youngsters were grilled in the lessons of war, because that was all their parents had known. War was not something that happened on a distance battlefield, it happened in one’s own backyard. But when the age of peace came the next generation knew not the hardships that their parents had endured, they considered that way of life to be over. Those hardened adults were replaced with peace expectant youngsters. But that illusion of piece was broken into a million pieces in the year of 2080.

2080(Present Day) (1600)

Commander Hondo stood at the deck of the dreadnought Archon. Hondo’s chest swelled with pride every time he thought of his recent appointment to the commander, which meant his own dreadnought. He was young by traditional standards, at thirty two he was the youngest commander in recent history, he was elevated because of his exemplary service in the name of his country in the Moon Wars. His first mission as a commander was to lead a scouting mission in search of other habitable planets.

His expeditionary fleet was made up of one dreadnought the flagship, six light class cruisers, three medium cruisers, and two destroyers. Such fleets were common as enemy nations or pirates often lurked about waiting to pounce on a weaker foe. In the event of a battle the dreadnought, destroyers, and heavy cruisers, if they were present, would engage like classes in brutal slugging matches while the smaller ships would provide screens of missiles and fighters. The ships were currently arraigned in a triangle with the destroyers to the left and right of the dreadnought and the smaller ships spaced between them.

At the moment Hondo was on the viewing portion of the bridge looking at the space around him and the crew as they bustled about. He glanced at the nav computer and saw that they were ready to make their second jump. The commander returned to his chair, which was in a ring of consoles. This was situated on the upper deck, below it was walkways leading to the viewing ports, 3-D nav computer and firing stations. He sat and reached for the general speaker. “Attention! This is your commander speaking, prepare for FTL,” he looked at his navigator. “The jump will take place in two minutes.” He replaced the microphone and strapped himself in, as did everyone on the bridge. At thirty seconds a countdown began. When it hit zero everyone was thrown into their seats, and everything not bolted down went flying as the ship lurched in to faster than light travel. This state lasted for about ten seconds before everything returned to normal as artificial gravity was activated. Hondo looked at the rapidly passing stars and smiled.

The second jump took a total of two weeks. The fleet had just exited beamspace and Hondo was asleep in his cabin when he received a call from the bridge. It was his XO, “Sir, you need to get up here immediately,” the young officer said, his face a mask of worry as they communicated over the 3-D hologram.

Hondo sighed and swung his long legs off his bed, he could remember when he was an executive officer. He did a quick minute shave, dressed and hurried to the bridge.

When he arrived he saw the bridge was a hive of activity. He saw his XO at one of the viewing ports talking with the gunnery sergeant. “What’s happening?” he snapped, irritated at having been awakened at seven am earth time.

The XO turned to him and what he said made Hondo’s blood run cold. He shoved past the two and looked outside himself. Sure enough, there were three strange ships on the portside. To Hondo they looked crab like. The vessels were the size of medium cruisers with two separate pincers jutting from the sides of each of the vessels. Hondo looked at the purple and black vessels.

“We must assume they are hostile,” he said at last with a grim plastered on his face. “Send orders for general alarm and have the fleet assume battle formation foxtrot. Hondo sat in his chair as the activity increased twofold as orders were issued and the alarm was blared throughout the warship and transmitted to the other captains under his command. He signaled to his flight officer. “Have the fighters fueled and ready, but only launch at my command.” As the flight officer left to do his commander’s bidding the gunnery officer approached.

“What are my orders?”

“Aim missile batteries one through three at the closest ship and four through six load with chaffs and flares. Have the port cannons ready their plasma,” Hondo ordered.

The formation had just got in position when the private at the scanner shouted. “Commander! The ships are moving into a formation and approaching us!” All activity ceased as everyone stared at the man.

Hondo lifted a hand. “Steady people, relay orders to the captains telling them to make preparations in case of an attack, but not to take action unless told otherwise,” his voice was steady and his face a mask of calm, despite the worry gnawing at his insides. This was not Hondo’s first navel battle; he had participated in two major battles, one as a captain, and smaller battles as a fighter pilot. But none of those battles were against an unknown foe.

Hondo watched as the enemy ships neared then stopped. “Try morse code and our other communication modes,” Hondo said. “I want to know if they’re human or…” his voice trailed off leaving the rest unsaid.

HIs XO frowned. “I doubt that will work, sir.”

Hondo shook his head. “What would you have me do? Just try it, we have no other choice.”

He turned to Conrad, the navigation officer. “Conrad, I want you to plot a quick way to escape if it comes to it,” he said, and turned to Kilan, the communication officer. “If we launch a communication buoy how long until it will reach the relay system at Jupiter?”

The older man thought for a moment. “It depends, but on average it would take about a standard month.”

Hondo nodded. “Prepare a message, you and the XO write it, when it’s ready I’ll sign it. Make it fast in case things go wrong.”

The attempts at communication lasted for about half an hour, as the crew exhausted all known means of communication. “Have captain Shaungessy report to the deck immediately,” Hondo finally said to his XO.

The XO passed his order into the general microphone throughout the vessel and a moment later the door to the bridge hissed opened as a Pokemon stepped through. The Pokemon was humanoid with brown and gold coloring. It had a long gold mustached that extended from its oddly shaped head. The Pokemon was wearing a navel uniform but instead of pens in its pocket it held two silver spoons.

Hondo swiveled his chair to face Shaungessy. “Captain, do you sense any other Pokemon onboard their vessel?” This Technology that enabled humans and Pokemon to understand each other was relatively new, only coming on the market twenty five years ago. It was a small chip inserted just behind the spinal cord of both human and Pokemon. This chip allowed each other to clearly understand one another as if they were speaking their own language, when in fact they weren’t.

The Pokemon shook his head solemnly. “No commander, there is no Pokemon aboard their ships, I also sense about three hundred presences aboard each ship.” The psychic Pokemon frowned. “They seem to be able to block my psychic probes.”

More than a few of the men and Pokemon on the bridge exchanged looks. Nothing on earth was able to shield their mind from a powerful Alakazam if it wanted in, and Shaungessy was a very powerful Pokemon. Hondo knew what the crew was thinking because he had the same thoughts himself! But, he knew that if a battle was to take place the men must be calm and confident in their abilities otherwise they could face defeat.

“Sir! We have incoming! Viewport six!” Rang a voice from the right.

Hondo turned his attention to the viewport to his right. A long pole had extended from the top of the front enemy ship; on the top was an object that looked like a modern satellite. The thing fired something that looked like a liquid metal. The shimmering was small but the further it went the larger it grew until it was the color of silver, but transparent, and there were many little yellow lights in it.

“Fire Missile batteries! Relay orders to fire at will,” Hondo said to the gunnery sergeant. He didn’t know what it was, but it was on a trajectory to hit his ship and there was no way he was going to risk the lives of his men to find out what that was. He fixed his eyes on the flight officer. “Send the order for all pilots to their craft. Do not launch until my command.”

The flight officer’s face was grim, but he turned his attention to the screen in front of him and was relaying orders as fast as he could tap his fingers on the projector. Hondo felt the ship lurch as the massive cannons fired their load of missiles at the weird object. The missiles connected and disappeared in blinding flash, taking the thing with them.

“Bring us to maximum range and open fire with the plasma cannons.”

While the bridge crew was calm and connected, the gun ports where the cannons were located were an area of organized chaos. Petty Officer Thomas was in charge of plasma battery A. Each battery was made of three cannons, and three batteries made up a company. And there was six companies to each side, some of the larger dreadnoughts could carry up to three-hundred plus cannon. But Hondo’s was only a delta class dreadnought, the smallest class so it only contained ninety.

Thomas turned to the ensign at his side, a Machoke. The Machoke was wearing the standard blue navel uniform, covering its bulging muscles and champion wrestling belt. Machoke had an elongated snout and multiple bony scales coming from the top its skull, forming lines of ridges. “The automatic loading system is being repaired, and I just got word from the engineering crew that it will not be fixed in time for the battle, I need you and the stronger Pokemon to assist in loading.” He flashed a smile at the junior officer. “You don’t need to make a pretense of complaining. I know you want a chance for vigorous exercise, seeing as how you haven’t a chance to do any major body building on this ship.”

The Machoke chuckled. “Indeed,” he rolled his sleeves to his elbows, revealing his purple skin and the flashes of red that were his muscle. “I will get to it immediately.”

He was cut off by the klaxon. “Red Alert! Battle stations! This is not a drill! All crew to assigned positions!”

Thomas glanced past a cannon to look through the energy field in front of cannon. The energy field wouldn’t protect the crew from an explosion, but it kept them safe from space debris and allowed them to see outside without having to use scopes.

The sergeant of his company approached. “Officer Thomas, ready your battery for combat. We fire when we reach maximum range.”

Thomas’s back went ramrod straight as he saluted his commanding officer. “Yessir! At maximum range!”

The sergeant saluted back and walked to the next battery in the line. Thomas barked orders to his men and went to a console that was linked to a scope. He watched on the scope as the range started to decrease, he almost lost his balance when the missiles were fired. He looked to his cannons to make sure the men were fine. Unlike the cannons from earlier in the twenty-first century these cannon were much larger and more complicated. These plasma cannon were the size of a small tank that curved at the back and end in a rod-like apparatus at the front. Unlike their predecessors they were fixed, required only one person to aim and fire and nobody to reload, except in this case when the automatic loading system was damaged. Normally there would be a conveyor belt system leading from the stores of munitions that traveled along the ceilings with other conveyor belt systems leading to each cannon. There were two ways to load the cannon, through a slot in the top, or by the more conventional method of the small blast door on the back of the cannon. The slot in the top was for the conveyor belt while the back was for manual reloading.

The scope reached the maximum range. “Fire!” Thomas bellowed at his men. The hanger like area was filled with load roars, louder than thunder and a score of tanks combined, as the forty-five cannons belched their fury at the enemy. Flame appeared around the mouth of each cannon as the weapons fired their plasma load. The massive guns recoiled while the automatic fans sucked up the fire. The rear hatch to each cannon opened and an empty plasma shell fell out. Although contained in the shells to prevent any accidents, once fired the plasma would shoot from the cannon in its natural state. The cannon nearest Thomas was being loaded by ensign Hohn, the Machoke. The Machoke opened the rear hatch, shoved a massive shell inside, slammed and bolted the rear hatch. The private who manned the cannon was in a seat attached to the plasma cannon with a screen in front of him. A light showed up on his screen. The man sighted the enemy vessel in his scope and fired. Thomas felt thankful for the sound dampers in his ears as the room was once again filled with a deafening roar.

Hondo watched as the first salvo struck the opposing vessel. The side of enemy ship blossomed like flowers as the plasma cannons struck home. The side of the enemy ship disappeared behind a wall of flame as they fired back. A few seconds later Hondo felt his ship shudder under the impact of over three dozen blows. “Arm all Missile batteries with missiles and fire when ready,” Hondo calmly said.
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Last edited by AmericanTreeFrog; 08-26-2011 at 04:19 AM.
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  #2  
Old 07-30-2009, 06:05 AM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Hondo watched with satisfaction as the rest of his fleet entered the fight and opened fire. While his smaller ships did not have as strong firepower or armor as Hondo’s own dreadnought, they could still do damage, and so they did. While the opposing forces were medium classes by Hondo’s estimate no ship could take damage from four different classes. Hondo’s dreadnought and the two destroyers concentrated on the vessel in the front while the lighter classes surrounded the two remaining ships. Hondo watched on his screen as twelve orange triangles appeared on the vessel his was attacking and started to move toward his flagship.

“Missiles coming in from target alpha!” He pushed a few buttons on his screen and the missiles became highlighted. “Missile batteries one through six fire,”

“Sir! The batteries have just fired their load at target alpha and are being reloaded.”

“Fire flechette launchers!” Hondo said. Flechette rounds were upgraded bullets from earlier in the century, having been replaced by plasma weapons as the main combat weapon, but they were still effective in certain cases. Seven of the orange blibs turned red and disappeared as the flechette rounds tore into and shredded the missiles. The five remaining missiles came out unscathed and sped towards Hondo’s dreadnought. One of the small plasma guns, for fighters, managed to pick a missile off, but the rest plunged into the side of the dreadnought.

Hondo pressed a button after the ship had ceased vibrating from the impact. “All sections report damage.”

Hondo watched on his screen as the three oval blips that were the enemy ships slowly started to blink orange, then a bright red. Explosions started to blossom from inside the enemy vessels, slowly the enemy ships started to come apart as Hondo’s fleet poured plasma into them. As the last of the ships disappeared behind a giant ball of flame Hondo noted the time for his log and sent the battle report to Earth headquarters by drone. The battle had lasted for half an hour. Hondo watched his screen as the battle damage reports started to scroll down on his screen. The damage to his ship wasn’t much, but one of his light class ships was gone, and a destroyer was crippled, and would have to be towed if not scuttled.

Hondo looked at his XO. “Have the fleet assemble. We’re getting out of here immediately. Plot the quickest course to Earth.” Hondo looked at his screen. “Send a fire team to deck F.”
Hondo stood and left for his cabin. This report was going to be historical, him too, and it was going to be complex.

Nine Weeks Later

President Lucian looked at the congress of human states. He was the current president of the United States and was therefore a senator of the congress. Today he had the report of the aliens in his hands. Nobody but Hondo and his men knew, and they and their vessels were in quarantine. Lucian ran his hand through his straight brown hair as he looked at the squabbling delegates. He then looked at his suit, particularly at the many medals attached to his chest. The Purple Heart, Medal of Honor and the other distinguishing medals that he had earned in the previous wars. Lucian looked at the delegates then at his shoes, the wave of nervousness overwhelming his senses. This speech was total different than any he had done before. Most of his previous speeches revolved around politics and issues with his own nation, never anything that would impact humanity like this one would. Lucian knew what had to be done; he calmed his nerves and looked at the delegates with a steely resolve. He signaled to the sergeant at arms.

“Quiet!” the man thundered, he had quite a pair of lungs. The delegates appeared startled as they looked at the sergeant. “You may speak, senator,” he said to Lucian.

The senator nodded his thanks and placed his hands on the podium before him, after adjusting his microphone. “Honored delegates, I know this is unusual for a senator to call an emergency session, but I have information that I think everyone should hear.”

The crowd of senators, they were actually the leaders of their nations, broke out into conversations. They quickly drowned out what Lucian tried to say. The frustrated sergeant was forced to call for order again, threatening with eviction if order was broke again.

The delegate from Kenya, a dark, thin man stood up. “America’s problems do not apply to us!” he yelled loudly. Since its rise as a power the nation had increasing become anti-American.

The man was evicted by the sergeant, everyone settled down after that. Lucian looked at the half ring before him, created by the hover crafts the senators were seated in, the speaker of the house and the aide were at the grand podium behind him.

“Honored delegates, I come to you with the gravest news. Nine weeks ago task force Gamma was attacked by an unknown species.” He allowed his voice to drop lower, the crowd grew deathly silent as he continued. “The fleet was fired upon by three enemy vessels, as indicated by the battle report you’ll see.” He hit a series of buttons on his screen, sending portions of the report to the other senators. “The weapons were similar to our own and our forces were able to destroy their force through overwhelming firepower. We lost a single ship, otherwise casualties were low. Not in the report you have is that apparently no Pokemon were detected and no visual of the aliens were seen. We have no other indications of what the future is to hold, but I suggest all forces should be placed on the highest alert and defense measures taken. We do not know the measure of the threat. That is all for now.” Lucian finished what he had to say and guided his craft to his designated spot as the chamber became filled with yelling. Lucian sighed; he hated this part of the job.

The session was repeated worldwide and was rebroadcasted on the moon a day later. For most the news sent a shiver up their spines. The debate was over quickly as the entire human population made defense measures, such as building massive underground bunkers and extending the ones already there. But it was too little, too late as they would later find out.


(2081){0300}

At first the scientist thought he was seeing a meteor heading towards the Milky Way, the lights steady moving toward the galaxy. Then he saw a flash, and one by one they disappeared. The scientist thought nothing of it until the next week when he saw the same flashes near the planet Uranus. In his excitement he failed to see a second, much larger group, land on the surface of the planet. He immediately got on a phone to the high command.

Shepherd looked at the Chiefs of Staff. “It has been confirmed that ships are approaching Earth.” He handed out high resolution pictures, revealing small glimpses of ships. “We place the number around twenty, not a great number, but something to worry about.”

“When were these taken,” the top naval commander asked, around the cigar in his mouth.

Shepherd glanced at his notes. “Yesterday near the planet Neptune.”

The President stood and made to leave. “Ready fleet thirty nine, send them to intercept the fleet, I want no orders to fire.”


{0800}

Captain Smith looked at the deep space around him. He had been here three days, not counting the week and half it took him to get here, and saw no signs of the enemy fleet that had been seen. He looked at XO Guida. “Any signs from the patrols?”

The wiry man shook his head. “No sir, our Pokemon also report no signs of life in this sector,” he replied.

Smith nodded. “I guess we’re done here. Send a report back to Earth that they’re no signs of any craft. I also want to leave a probe here, have it orbit the planet.”

As his fleet could do nothing more Smith ordered the fleet back to the safety of Earth.


{2300)

One month after a fleet was sent to Uranus, the staff in the international senate was hustling about. Nobody knew why, but a second emergency session had been called for. It was practically unheard of for the same man to call one so soon. Once again Lucian had the attention of all the senators present, a few hadn’t been able to make it due to being late at night, but they were watching through live holograms. Lucian looked at the report, and had to wipe the sweat away from his eyes. The recent news had been a catalyst to his military advisors, enlisting was up and defense measures were being taken. Military production hadn’t been this prolific since the Third World War so many years earlier. As everyone settled in their seats and the news crews got their equipment set up Lucian began.

“I once again come to you with the gravest of news.” He started. “A deep space probe orbiting Neptune captured these images and forwarded them to one of my secure satellites.” Lucian tapped his screen and a massive 3-D image appeared in the center of building. Everyone gasped at the sight before them. The image was massive because of a few reasons, one of which was because the number of vessels, both big and small appeared on the screen.

“Our estimate places their numbers at a conservative four-hundred, the real numbers are likely double that. I think the reasoning is clear that what we see before us is an invasion force. My own nation’s military efforts have tripled, and we are currently building five dreadnoughts in addition to the six that were in production before.” He paused for a moment to let this sink in, dreadnoughts were highly expensive and took time to build. “As chairman of the armed forces committee I would like to call a session to address the military numbers.” The last of his words were drowned out.

The senate building erupted in an uproar. The most common shout being, “No! We do it now!” It took over an hour to calm the people down enough to finish the session.

“Fine, we do it here. But, my nation will not reveal secrets and our numbers unless everyone else goes first,” Lucian stated adamantly.

A few nations protested but the majority stared them down.

The session started at noon and by the time every nation had called forth all their numbers and recited the numbers it was already early morning. The total number was two-hundred and fifty dreadnoughts, two hundred and eighty six destroyers, one thousand light cruisers, and seven hundred thirty two medium cruisers. There was also a smattering of special classes like the U.S Avenger, a fast runner designed for sabotage missions. The total number of men on the moon and on the ground numbered two point seven billion soldiers.

Lucian brought his hover craft back to the speaking podium. “I think our next course of action would be to send an envoy to see what happens, whether they’re hostile or friendly.” A few of the senators scoffed, but Lucian cut them off before they could get vehement. “I do not want to unnecessary risk human lives. We try peace first.” His expression told them to try and disagree.

The session lasted for a few more hours before everyone left. Many people on the Earth didn’t sleep well that night, and the next night when the people on the moon received the news.

An envoy of three ships was sent to the enemy fleet stationed at Uranus. The human ships had no visible weapons and the men had volunteered for this risky assignment, as such it was a skeleton crew. As the envoy approached the fleet everyone back on Earth listened to the expensive communication, normally a channel could only be opened in long distances if the ship had an expensive and advanced comm unit, which the crews did. The resulting broadcast was sent throughout human space, including the mines on Jupiter.

Captain Marissa’s voice was crystal clear. “We’ve just exited beamspace.” Beamspace wasn’t normally used for such a short flight but the senate decided they didn’t want the invaders to prepare a welcoming force. “O’ my gosh,” she said. “All I can see is ships, there’s well over a thousand. Many are different designs, and there are at least three thousand fighters out here. I see a couple ships that look like the ones from the previous reports, but most are vastly different. Steady, cut thrusters,” she ordered her helmens.

“Yes ma’am,” a muffled voice came over the comm unit.

“A slew of fighters has broke off and approaching us, including six ships. They’re making no aggressive moves and appear to be harmless as of yet. Any Pokemon aboard?”

“I detect none, but they could be shielding my psychic probes,” came back a small voice.

Marissa nodded. “Okay, let’s see what happens. Have the men near the weapons ready, but do not lock on or make any other move, unless I issue an order.” As the small black and purple pig hopped off using its spiral tail the captain turned her attention to the viewports.


Earth

The entire world was listening to the live broadcast, which was an oversight by the governments in hindsight.

Captain Marissa’s voice continued. “We’re being surrounded by cruiser and fighters alike, steady men.” There was a few seconds on silence when her voice rang out again. “Open fire! Get us out of here!”

There was a muffled boom followed by multiple explosions and screams. The sounds lasted for ten minutes before the microphones stopped broadcasting. The civilian population only listened to the initial explosions as the civilian broadcast was cut off by the military a second later. The senators hadn’t listened to the whole tape as most had rushed to their offices to make calls. The senate was in session the next day. For two days the debate raged back and forth, and in the end by difference of one vote the senate elected to send another envoy.

This time a single ship was chosen, one of the fastest in the navies’ fleets. The government also learned from their mistakes and the civilian population was not allowed to listen in on the broadcast. The alien fleet had moved to Jupiter as the human population had already been evacuated, which is where the ship went. The result was similar, when the human ship was spotted the aliens opened fire, the ship and crew was never heard of again.


{1300}


It had been two months since the last envoy had been sent and Lucian was in his office signing papers when his red phone rang. Lucian felt his spirits drop; this incident had already seemed to age him ten years. Before everything happened there was not a single gray hair on his head, now he couldn’t find a hair that wasn’t gray. He tapped his screen, the red service line. His top general was on the emergency line. “Mr. President, our satellites have spotted the fleet moving toward the Moon.”

Lucian nearly fell off his chair. “You’re certain of this?” He righted himself and lit a cigar, a habit he had recently picked up due to the stress. “What is the progress on the dreadnoughts?”

“Approximately two years, with the support ships around the same time.”

Lucian sighed. “We’ve been friends for twenty years so I’m going to be straightforward with you. I fear the worst. So, I want you to move the dreadnoughts and the support fleet to one of the secure underground bunkers. Move provisions, enough for ten years, and anything else that they need, I want the pilots the techs, the works. Also move the families there.” He paused. “Are you taking notes?”

“Yes,” came the curt reply.

“Then, I want you to personally talk to all the men you trust and tell them of this place and have some moved there, but leave some on the outside. After everything is done I want you to swear the men to secrecy and have everything purged, the records of the supplies, the people. Nothing is to remain about them.”

“Yessir. Anything else?” Lucian could faintly hear the scratching of a pen in the background.

“Remove the fleets from the Moon, ready the defenses and get everything not needed off the Moon. Alert me if a situation develops.”

When the connection ended Lucian placed his head in his hands and spent the rest of the day praying.


Three Days Later{0800}

It was daytime on this side of the Moon and the sentry had enlisted in the army when the alien fleet had been initially spotted. But to his disappointment he had been appointed to watch the space scanners. It was very boring, but he was glad that it was an important job and someone had to do it. It was eight am standard time and he had just finished his coffee. He was on his second cup. He sighed as the hot liquid went down his throat and warmed him. He ran a hand over the standard buzz cut, he didn’t like it but the military required it. He was in the communications tower that looked over this part of the moon. He watched over half the Moon by himself through these scanners and scopes. Usually a group of six watched the scanners, but the rest had called in sick and his superiors were trying to track down the other shifts. Right now Jeff was worried because a few of his scanners had suddenly stopped working. He was trying to get them back online to no avail. Jeff frowned as another screen went out; so far every scanner that had been disabled had been pointing toward deep space, and he thought he saw something before the scanner went out. The sentry looked at the last scanner and saw an object cross the screen before it went out. He opened a channel to his superior. “We have a problem,” was all he said. A minute later klaxons were blaring all over the surface of the Moon as men rushed to their positions.

Lucian was in a meeting with his secretary of state when an aide told him his red phone rang. Lucian excused himself and opened a connection. A single phrase was issued. “It’s time.”

Jade quickly pulled her hair in a ponytail and rushed to her fighter. She was in the Skylight fighter. It was a two seater, with the copilot and the pilot back to back, separated by their seats. Jade would control the weapons and the flight of the craft while her copilot would navigate and control the computer. A Pokemon could be a copilot, but Jade felt better with her partner. They had been a team since she first joined two years ago at eighteen. She climbed the ladder into the cockpit and buckled in.

“You’re lucky you didn’t get caught,” her copilot said, a smile on his face.

“Cool it, I was in the restroom when the call went out. Keep your eyes open too, we’re the only flight going in from this launch point.”

“Roger, all systems and weapons are a go,” Riley said, his voice now serious.

“Switch to flight channel.” When the appropriate was channel was turned to Jade spoke into the microphone attached to her helmet. “This is flight Ruby, Major Jade of squad Platinum. All hands radio in. Platinum one.” Jade waited until all seventy one ships radioed in.

When the flight tower gave the clear for liftoff Jade hit a few buttons and the craft slowly rose vertically, followed by everyone else in numerical order. All the fighters were of the same type, but some had droids, some Pokemon and some like Jade had a human partner.

“Go to formation ‘J’ and lock wings into attack position. Area engagement will be reached in fifteen minutes,” Jade commanded her flight. The Skylight had six wings, two full wings extending from the cockpit in the rear, and then two slightly smaller wings extend from the fuselage on both sides. The smaller wings each had a plasma gun while the larger wings could also carry missiles. Today the fighters did not have any missiles attached as they slowed down the aircraft so they instead opted for heavier plasma guns. The ships were also equipped with two plasma bursters for ground runs and they were attached to the underside of the fuselage.

Twelve minutes later the flight spotted the fighting. The flight could just pick out the larger cruisers while the fighters were too far away. The flight could see the bright flashes of the plasma weapons.
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Old 08-03-2009, 11:55 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide


Jade’s radar could not pick up the fighting, but she knew Riley’s could. ”Anything, Riley?”

Her copilot whistled. “There’s some heavy fighting happening, both on the surface and in orbit. Our forces are vastly outnumbered but they’re giving as well as they’re getting. I see multiple vessels going down.”

“What about the target?” She was refering to their assigned objective.

“The fleet is being shielded by the anti-air batteries, but the batteries are being hammered by those scorpion fighters.”

Jade switched to the flight circuit. “We’re coming up to the target area. Watch your six and increase to attack speed.” Jade switched back to her squad circuit and slowly increased the throttle. As the flight sped toward the battle, a small a group of enemy fighters broke off and headed toward the flight.

“Uhm, Major.” As Riley was the navigator he could see the entire battlefield while Jade could only see some. “There’s a group of about four hundred fighters shielding the target, half are heading our way.

“Signal the flight to fire and pass between them. We must reach the surface before our batteries are destroyed.” Jade’s nervousness didn’t show in her voice, but she was beginning to sweat. This wasn’t her first battle, but it was bigger than any she had ever participated in. The distance between the two groups closed rapidly. Jade watched on her 3-D radar as the first wave approached. She flipped four switches on her imaging screen, arming the plasma guns and gently squeezed the trigger attached to the joy stick. Four bolts of plasma shot from her guns and hit two opposing fighters, which disappeared behind two small fireballs which quickly vanished too. The space air was soon filled with fireballs and streaks of plasma. Ships blossomed into fireballs on both sides. As the scorpions ships started to turn around for another pass, Jade’s flight continued forward until they joined the raging battle, from there the battle began with the human flight heavily outnumbered.

“Ruby six, there’s two on my six. I need a hand,” Jade said into the circuit. There was no reply but ten seconds later both vessels were vaporized by plasma bolts.

Riley spoke up, “Major, we have a problem. A dreadnought has broken off from the planetary bombardment and heading towards us.”

Jade gritted her teeth. She just needed more problems. ”Great, keep an eye on it. Alert the flight and the anti air batteries. Direct the fire to the dreadnought. The cruisers will break apart if they go up against the thing.” She took out two more bombers making a run on the fleet flagship, as it fled the battle containing children and the dignitaries of the Moon, who hadn’t been able to leave before the arrival of the invaders.

Jade felt her fighter shake, making her miss another bomber. “What the hell was that?” She mistaken let her frustration show.

“The dreadnought is opening fire now. One of the light cruisers is being hammered,” Riley’s voice was grim.

“Have squads Sapphire and Opal start runs using the plasma cannons. Aim for the larger batteries. I want that thing disabled.”

“Diverting now.” The rear cockpit where Riley was was an entire 3-D map of the battlefield. A couple taps and the two damaged squads peeled off and started to attack the dreadnought, like flies bugging a human.

The space battle had raged for half an hour now. “When will they reach firing range?” Jade said, referring to the long range ion cannons on Earth.

“Ten minutes.”

Jade glanced at her radar, showing the remaining flight numbers. “Well, my flight is dropping like flies.” The fight raged on, with the smaller human ships firing at the much larger dreadnought. Two of the light cruisers disappeared as the dreadnought’s larger guns tore them to pieces. The enemy snub fighters had lost over half their forces when Jade decided to take out the dreadnought. “Riley, have all available squads attack the dreadnought. Aim for the bridge, engine and batteries.”

The remaining flight members sped toward the imposing spacecraft, but before they could reach it a bright blue beam sped past them to strike the cruiser, which immediately split in half from the ion blast. Jade had to yank on her stick to avoid the flames and debris from the crippled dreadnought. One of her squad mates wasn’t as lucky as a piece of the wreckage struck his wing. Jade saw streaks of plasma fire over her cockpit and felt some hit her tail. A quick move and the enemy amateur fighter pilot was in her scopes. He was blown to kingdom come a moment later.

The flight swung back to the damaged fleet and the battle began in earnest once more as reinforcements from both sides arrived. Ten minutes later a much larger human fleet arrived, causing the remaining enemy fleet to peel off from their assault.

As the flight began the docking procedure to a dreadnought Jade turned to the flight circuit. “All hands radio in. Riley, what about the enemy casualties?”

When the flight rattled off their numbers Jade was pleased to hear that only twenty-five fighters were gone, but thirty eight had received damage, including her own vessel. The enemy fleet had lost over three hundred and fifty from her and the two other human flights. Jade’s flight got their licks in, but most came from the plasma guns on the cruisers and the surface batteries. Jade landed her ship, talked to the mechanics, and headed toward the briefing room, Riley in tow.


Moon(earlier in the day)

Lieutenant Marcus cringed as the bombardment started. He ducked as an explosion rocked him, nearly knocking him off his boot clad feet. He righted his helmet, checked his shields and looked over the embankment where his company was. Army corp twenty six, 2nd division, Starfire brigade, fourth battalion, company B. Marcus’s corp was guarding the U.S. capital of Ravenold. The division was charged with guarding the east side of the city, the area most likely to be assaulted. The battle had started just half an hour ago and already Marcus’s ears were ringing from the cannons. Marcus’s pale blue eyes peered through his helmet screen looking at the smoky battlefield, the once lush forest surrounding the city was now ablaze, and in its place was a smoking landscape, with charred vegetation and craters from the plasma weapons. The enemy had dropped smoke canisters, they obscured his vision but he had thermal imaging. The thermal wasn’t working too well because of the heat from the plasma weapons. So far no enemy Pokemon had been seen and neither had any of the aliens themselves. The division guarded not only the city but one of artillery batteries. The batteries would be crucial in repelling any ground assault.

Marcus crouched again and prayed that at least he would see some action, as eighteen he was very active. He did succeed in seeing combat, but more than he wanted.

Another hour had passed and Marcus was antsy. The waiting was unreal; he had joined the military for a reason, not to sit in a trench. So wrapped up in his brooding, he jumped when the ground was rocketed by large things striking the surface. “What the hell was that?” someone muttered. Marcus saw red blobs on his thermal scanner. “Heads up, we got incoming.”

The line was filled with the sounds of weapons being checked and aimed. Plasma rifles were the weapon of choice of every army and military force since their inception. They were roughly similar to the assault rifles in the 20th century and early 21st century. They were a few key differences between the weapons though. The main difference was the ammo. Instead of bullet filled cartridges, the plasma rifles fired bolts of plasma that were contained in a special cartridge attached to underside of the rifle. Each magezine could fire roughly five hundred bolts before needing to be replaced. The rifles also had a slick design and were relatively light weighing in at a pound and a half.

Marcus waited for the shapes to reach the fifty meter mark. “Fire!” The already hot air was filled with the crack sizzles of the plasma rifles. Marcus shifted aim and fired again, at a steady pace as more of the shapes started to fall. Marcus realized the things were pretty tall; he was distracted by the returning fire of the aliens to take much of a note of how they looked. A cry sounded from Marcus’s right as the man was struck by a plasma bolt. Marcus knelt and stared at the burnt flesh on the man’s shoulder; the flesh was cracked and charred. The man had dropped into unconsciousness. The plasma had almost burned through the bone. “Medic!” Marcus yelled before he stood and turned back to the battle. The shapes had advanced and now his vision was filled with blurry heat images. A second later the air was filled with load roars as the cannons behind him opened fire. Marcus watched as one of the rounds struck in front of him, the plasma striking five targets, dropping them instantly.

The enemy line steady advanced toward Marcus’s line, firing, and dropping more of the lieutenant’s men. “Fire Line! Forty meter! Fire!” Marcus shouted at his beleaguered squad. The ragged fire of the squad ceased and they fired as one, the line hitting the opposition with a devastating effect. “Right! Five meters!” He called again. The air was filled with the crack-sizzle once more. As the assault reached the rest of the line, the din increased tenfold.

The citizens in the city heard the fighting as they crouched in whatever shelter they had obtained as the fighting continued. Company B was holding strong when they received word that C company had been overrun by the invaders. So far the aliens had not got close enough for a visual. Marcus as lieutenant commanded the battalion. He switched to that circuit.

“Companies A and D, company B is moving to assist company C.” He broke off that connection and returned to the frequency of his own men. “Company, Fix bayonets and prepare to attack the left flank of the group assaulting C. Starfire brigade, we need cover. In three. One, two three!” The entire line had stopped firing until that moment. Every man and the cannons opened fire; the front ranks of the aliens were decimated. The company rushed over the embankment, fired, dropped to the ground, rolled to the right, fired again and sprinted for C company to the right as members of A and D took over their previous positions.

The company bounded across the terra-formed surface, stopping to fire only a couple of times as they rushed the one hundred and fifty meters to C company. When they neared they could see the fierce fighting taking place in the trench. The aliens were around eight feet tall, black with purple markings, and long arms and legs. The arms had ridges on them, like Gallade blades, but shorter. Their armor matched the color of the aliens, mainly black with purple linings. The blades of the invaders were being used effectively against C company. Even the Pokemon had trouble dealing with the invaders.

“We’ll have to engage them in hand to hand also,” Marcus said to the companies. “We can’t fire and risk hitting our men. All water Pokemon are to use Hydro Pump then we’ll charge with the bayonets.”

The water hit the aliens, startling them and made them turn to face the new threat, which allowed the besieged men of C company to get a few free hits in. The wave of B company crashed into line of invaders, inflicting wounds with the sharp blades attached to their weapons. Marcus was fighting one of the aliens, its eyes were on the side of its head, and it had two bright red spots on the front of its head. The creature was trying to slash at Marcus with its claw like hands, its weapon slung over its side, which resembled Marcus’s own rifle. He ducked the clawed swipe and pressed his pistol to its body, a hole was left as the weapon discharged. He had no time to think as he moved on to another foe.

All across the Moon the battle raged. The battle was fierce, with the anti-air batteries firing at the ships, and the armies trying to hold off the invasion force. After the first week the commanders realized that they could not hold the Moon for much longer. They figured they could hold for two more days at the rate the aliens were advancing despite the heavy casualties being inflicted on them. Evacuations had been underway, the populations and all sensitive materials were withdrawn using fighter screens and ion blasts. But to everyone’s surprise the forces were able to hold out for five more days, enabling them to safely evacuate the surface and orbit. Marcus and his unit survived and returned to Earth, being posted in the Pacific Northwest in the U.S.A.

Lucian glanced at the battle reports from the war on the Moon. The fighting units had performed superbly and Lucian put recommendations in for the units for medals. U.S.A forces had lost just over 85,000 dead and missing, not a bad number all things considered. Overall the men did their duty and provided Earth a few extra days to prepare the defenses. The invading aliens had lost about one million based on estimates, not a bad outing for the first major battle between the species. Humanity as a whole suffered 357,000 casualties in defending the moon. Heavy losses to be sure, but when the aliens tried to hit Earth, their losses would be much.

The massive underground fortresses were being built and outfitted to survive for upwards of fifty years underground, if it came to that. Each fortress was building a fleet and had a full division of men, not counting family and support personal. A competent commander had assumed control of each fortress and was to remain inside the underground facility until the commander was contacted or until its fleet was finished, and upon completion they were to a send a scouting party out to assess the situation. So far thirteen were under construction, all were secret and as soon as they became self-sufficient all records were to be destroyed. The known bunkers were already filling with civilians. Lucian’s advisors had pleaded with him to go to one of the secret bases, but he had refused and ordered that the nation’s leader was not going to hide in a hole. In less than one minute he was going to appear before congress and ask for a session of prayer. He expected it to pass without any problems. An aide told him congress was ready. He rose heavily from his padded chair and walked the short distance to doors leading to the congress floor. Two armed guards opened the doors upon entering, the room burst into applause. He walked to the spot reserved for the President and waited for the applause to die down.

“Good morning to the people of this blessed nation.” He looked around the room, making eye contact with the cameras. “In the coming months we as a nation and a God fearing people are to be tested with a test never before been seen or heard of. As a Godly people we must stand firm in our resolve, and pray that the Lord will deliver us from our time of need. Throughout this nation’s history our Lord has delivered us in our time of need; the American Revolution when we managed to overthrow the most powerful nation at the time. He was with us again when the nation threatened to tear its self apart. But the Lord provided one his servants to carry out his work. Again during World War one, the great depression, World War Two, the second great depression, the Third World War, and the Second American Revolution. Our dedication to the Lord has guided us through those tough times, now we must trust that the Lord will do so again. Therefore I’ve come before the government to ask for a resolution of prayer. The speaker will now call for your vote.”

The speaker began talking and soon the resolution was placed before the delegates and they began to vote. Ten minutes later the resolution passed unanimously to the applause of the civilians. Through the telecommunication the resolution was passed onto the senate, were it also passed unanimously. As the news came in Lucian bowed his head and led the nation in prayer, as did the other delegates as they too led their own prayer, along with the rest of the nation.

Commander Shepard walked the dark hall beneath the Pentagon as he headed to the red room, so called for the red lights that lighted the dim room. His shoes made clicking sounds on the pristine floor as he walked the dimly lit corridor. He paused before a door. One of the two guards pointed his gun at Shepard while the other held out a small keypad. Shepard placed his mocha colored thumb against the pad. The small device lit up blue as it scanned the thumbprint. A small laser ran over the thumb three times until it was satisfied. It beeped thrice and went dark. The guard withdrew the item into the dark. Both guards couldn’t be seen, as only the door was lit up. The same guard held up another device, it was circular it looked just like the last device. Shepard grabbed the device and placed it against one of his dark brown eyes. It scanned his retina three times before it too was satisfied. The last device was placed before him. Shepard wrapped the object around his neck.

“Commander Shepard, Admiral of third fleet, number zeta, alpha, zero, eight, mike, tango. “ The last part of the sentence, his authorization code, he whispered, so low that the soldiers couldn’t hear it. Shepard removed the device and returned it to the soldier. A second later the door buzzed and opened, the hissing always an annoyance, allowing him to enter. He crossed over the threshold into the red light at the door. He was in a small chamber. The door behind him closed with another hiss. Shepard held his breath as the room was sucked of all air and a spray drenched him. After the liquid ceased the room became increasing hot, a fan blowing hot air began to operate. A minute passed before he was fully dried. A second door in front of him opened up, inside was a table with over a dozen men seated around it. Screens and technicians were placed around the fringes of the room, only the screens were lighted, the faces were not. The same was for the people at the table, only the area in front of them was visible, from the red light. Shepard walked to the table, but a hand grabbed his arm and placed a device in his hand. Shepard placed the device around his neck, the cool metal touching his skin like a caress. He took a seat and a light in front of him came on.

“Everyone is here, we’ll now begin,” an electronic voice began. All the voice were masked, to shield the identities, nobody knew any in the room, all the voices were disguised for this and other reasons.

“The President has hidden thirteen underground bases, with a commander in each base. As the President is one of us, he has placed Masons in command of eight of the bases.” The American President was always picked by a Mason vote; the ones who weren’t were disposed of. Once the Mason became the President he learned the identity of the other Masons as he was the head.

Shepard spoke up, his voice sounding foreign to himself as the device around his neck disguised him. “My post just came in, I’m to lead the space assault. The combined attack.”

“This is surprising news, Lucian said the post would go to his cousin, Admiral Lucas.”

“The post came in this morning.”

“Our leader has faith in you then. I’ve learned that you are to be appointed overall commander of the entire armed forces, ours and the world’s,” a new voice said.
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Old 09-01-2009, 01:58 AM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide


“Much power is to be gained. You must not squander it.” This came from the leader seated at the table, the last leader was now President, meaning he no longer attended the meetings. The ‘current’ leader would then try to run for President in the next cycle. “We must take measures of our own. Our history must be kept safe. One of you will receive a message with your orders. I’ve also ordered atomic bombs to be placed at key sites around the world, if all is lost one of you will trigger the bombs, but only if we have no hope. The underground bunkers will protect the population. Each of you will receive the locations, and the codes.”

“Our next order of business,” started a new voice. “Do we know of the motives behind the invasion currently taking place?”

The words hung in the air for a few awkward sentences before one finally spoke up. “Honestly, we have no idea. I’ve talked with every intelligence agency worth mentioning. Nothing has come up, even some of the bodies we recovered had nothing on them that we would call important; we are in the complete dark.” Those ominous words permeated the air, even the technicians ceased their almost frantical typing.

The leader spoke up again, “Find out.” The two words were both an order and a threat.


The meeting continued with other affairs not relating to the war. When the meeting was adjourned the leader left first, followed by the ranking of the members. Shepard was the third to exit. He left the pentagon and drove to the White House; Lucian wanted to meet with him.

Marcus decided to take a break from digging. He wiped a hand across his dark brow as the unusual summer heat beat down on the Earth. Usually the northwest had mild summers, but not right now. His division was charged with guarding the cities of Portland and Vancouver, the two biggest cities in the area. The rest of the corp was stationed throughout Oregon, Washington, and Idaho. His crop had fought well on the Moon, he hoped to fight some more on Earth.

Jade was seeing the sights in the great city of Washington D.C. Her fleet, and the rest of the world’s was stationed near D.C., Commander Shepard was in charge. Shepard had served in the American Revolution and the subsequent wars. He was now forty seven, meaning he had served for twenty nine years. She had also heard that he was to lead the combined fleets to defend Earth, and possibly the ground forces. She might die in the coming fight, so she was going to see the capital beforehand.


Six months later{0600}

Lucian felt he blood drain from his face. The alien fleet had just started to move. The aliens had been stationed at the moon for six months as their reinforcements had arrived, apparently they had all their men ready for the final push.

Shepard jumped in his car and raced to the docking fields where his flagship the “Trikan” was moored. The ship was ready to depart when he arrived. The air was filled with the whomps and sounds of ships firing their massive engines. Screams also filled the brisk morning air as the fighters started patterns around the vessels and docking for the brief trip into space. The most common was the Skylight class, the latest in fighter technology. A few of the older models were seen, but not in the American Navy. Shepard’s five-nine lanky body contrasted with his well built XO. He shook hands and together they walked to the ship entrance, an elevator and hit the button to bring them to the bridge. His XO handed him a file.

“Our forces number about two hundred and fifty thousand fighters, three hundred dreadnoughts, one thousand destroyers, two thousand medium cruisers, and two thousand eight hundred light class ships.” The XO had a rough type of voice, like rocks grating against metal. “The enemy forces number five times our dreadnoughts, and around five thousand in other classes. Their fighters number around one million, but our fighters have proven to be better in speed and maneuverability, although their firepower is greater.”

Shepard’s mouth widened in a grin. “We have our work cut out then. What about our troop numbers?”

The XO consulted his notes. He shook his thick brown head, his horn nearly striking Shepard in the head. “About three billion scattered around the Earth.”

Shepard placed a hand on his tough hide. “Easy, you nearly took my head off.”

The Rhyperior laughed, a load booming voice, like an earthquake. “If I wanted to take your head off I could think of easier ways.”

The grin on Shepard’s face disappeared. “That’s reassuring. My hopes have been lifted.”

The Rhyperior glanced at him as the elevator stopped. “I tend to think sarcastic commanders make bad choices as leaders.” The Rhyperior tried to hide the humor from the remark but failed.

Together they walked to the captain’s chair. “Well, I’m the exception to the rule. Signal the fleet I’m here and ready.”

The Rhyperior raised a large rock hand in a salute. “Yes commander.”

Fifteen minutes later the human fleet was ready for combat. The human fleet had just broken out of the atmosphere, the sun was bright to the east and the Moon was hidden by many enemy ships. Shepard’s dreadnought was at the head of the fleet. “Send half the fighters forward, all bombers to remain in the ships,” Shepard said with an air of superiority earned from his many years in warfare.

Shepard watched through the forward viewports as his vision became filled with the shapes of fighters as they sped toward the enemy fleet. The fighters were met by a group easily two times as large. The air was quickly filled with red, purple and pink streaks of plasma bolts. Flashes in the distance as fighters were destroyed and shots missed. “Bring us into the thick of it,” Shepard ordered. Slowly the Human fleet began to move as the order passed to the other ships. Ten minutes later the human fleet struck the enemy fighters, whose casualties started to mount, until the alien fleet entered the fray. It would be an all out battle between the fleets.

Three dreadnoughts were approaching his flagship, one on either side and one below him. “Have the Conquedor attack target Kilo,” Shepard was standing at the 3-D imager. he pointed a finger at the bottom target. Load all missile tubes and electronically lock, no manual guiding. Fire the cannons at maximum range and have two light cruisers strike from the bottom.” Shepard was calm as he issued orders and used the 3-D screen to the best of his abilities.

The Trikan shook as all three-hundred and twenty of its cannons fired. The viewport flashed with red light, but the screen darkened to protect the crew’s eyes. One-hundred and sixty cannons were on each side, with two decks dividing the cannons into eighty on each. The plasma cannons with the automatic loading could fire every five seconds, so in a space of thirty seconds nine hundred and sixty bolts were speeding toward the vessels on either side. By then the enemy ships had reached maximum range and they opened fire too. The space air was filled with plasma bolts as they streaked toward one another. Some collided and flared out, some missed and most hit. Shepard’s gunners were excellent shots and only four missed. Shepard watched as the plasma bolts struck the enemy vessel, its shield absorbing some of the blows but most going through, causing walls to buckle, to melt, and things to explode. The enemy vessels took massive damage from the Trikan’s bigger guns. The enemy dreadnoughts, the scorpion looking ones, guns were impressive, but they had fewer guns, even combined, and were not as powerful. This meant that the Trikan was able to take the shots, without great damage. Two minutes later both scorpions were gone, the distance had narrowed to where it was impossible to miss and Shepard’s guns had ripped into their lighter armor.

Shepard looked on his screen; it was showing two destroyers and numerous other craft being surrounded by a group of enemy dreadnoughts. “Take us into the group; launch a screen of fighters to shield our presence.”

Jade’s flights had just alighted from the Trikan and were racing toward a caldron the enemy were forming around some friendly ships. Her flight and the three others with her slammed into the attacking ships with force, their torpedoes tearing into the bridges and other sensitive spots of the invaders. The bombers dropped their load as two of the enemy capital ships started to fall as fire started to tear the ships apart. Jade guided her nimble craft through the streaks of plasma from both sides. She dodged a massive bomber, one of its four stubby wings nearly hitting her, its one rear gun firing in earnest at any enemy that dared fly near it. Jade flew her craft toward a dreadnought bridge and started to fire, her squad mates following her did the same.

The four flights were creating chaos as their faster craft darted around the enemy dreadnoughts to attack a fighter or fire a set of missiles before darting away again. The plasma guns in the capital ships began to fire at a faster rate, sucking power from the heavier cannons when Shepard’s cruiser entered the fray. The Trikan struck hard, its first two volleys crippling two motionless dreadnoughts. The intensity in the caldron intensified as more flights and ships became sucked into the battle within the battle.

Due to the number of ships, orbital battles were taking place all around the Earth. Which meant anywhere on Earth people could see the battle taking place in space. There was camera feeds connected to the cruisers and transmitting to Earth, but most people just preferred to sit on their porch and watch the spectacular battle taking place over their heads. People couldn’t see the ships themselves unless they had a good telescope; stores had been sold out for weeks. Those without the telescope were resigned to watch the live feed or to use the naked eye. Even if people used their naked eyes one could see the flashes of plasma, explosions and the debris that started to strike the Earth. The flashes looked like faraway lights twinkling in the twilight. In the U.S, night had already falling meaning; they had the best view compared to people in the Middle East or Asia where the sun was shining bright.

The battle lasted for sixty seven hours as the fleets and fighters engaged in a massive slugfest. When the last of the charred ships crashed in the earth the humans saw only alien vessels still remaining in orbit. The human fleet had suffered over ninety five percent casualties in the battle. The commanders had known they would either have to win the battle or set their guns in the jaws of the enemy and fight to the last man. It ended up being the latter.

Of the 250,000 plus human ships that entered the battle, only 12,805 escaped. Shepard was among the survivors, but Jade was missing in action. The human losses were bad, but so were the alien losses. They had lost sixty eight percent of their forces, it didn’t seem like a big difference compared to the human numbers until they saw the raw figures, the enemy had lost a total of 683,880 ships with most being fighters. For every human ship that was lost the aliens lost 2.67 of their own. The remaining human vessels made it back to Earth and were promptly hidden with the ships being built. Shepard was currently in a meeting with Lucian and the other leaders.

Shepard was speaking, “I do not think we can hold. Even with all our defenses their air power is too great. Based on how our troops fared on land in the Moon battle we could hold for only a time before we are overwhelmed. I recommend that our units be placed in strategic places to stem their flow, but not in a place where they can be easily placed under siege. The remainder should be placed in the underground bunkers we’ve prepared.”

“I agree with placing men in the fortresses, but not everything else,” Lucian began slowly. “But, I feel that the men would be used well if we take the fight to the enemy.”

“But it will leave our forces open to strafing runs from the air.”

“If we can shatter their forces before they gain a foothold their air forces will mean nothing,” Lucian said tightly.

“Assuming we do shatter the ground assault,” Shepard shot back

“I’ve made my decision, see to it,” Lucian fixed him with a cold stare. Tensions had been running high after the battle.

Shepard saluted stiffly and left the room. The other generals slowly left after that, each drifting off to do their duties. Shepard was angry, he thought Lucian would see his side, they were both soldiers, but clearly he had been a politician for too long. There was nothing more he could do; he must wait like everyone else.

Marcus’s unit had been given new orders to move to a new location. Marcus thought it weird because from what he knew there was nothing in the area except for a mountainous forest. The unit taking over had already arrived and his men were preparing to depart in a few minutes.

Two days later Marcus’s unit reached their destination; all the men were surprised to discover that they were to be based in a secret underground bunker. The unit had just been assigned to their spots when the invasion began, the men quickly rushed to the radios.

The Earth’s atmosphere was filled with smoke from all the fire as alien craft filled the skies. Due to the amount of cannons ringing all the major cities the qlien losses were heavy, especially among the drop ships that were trying to land troops. When the ground forces did manage to land they were cut down by plasma fire and Pokemon attacks. The battlefields were soon filled with bodies, mostly from the invaders. For four days the human forces held their own and were inflicting heavy losses on the enemy, their own losses were vastly lower.

This was when things took a turn for the worst. The cannons had been firing practically non-stop since the start of the battle, the alien forces then shifted their attention from the landing sites to the cannons, which were quickly destroyed in five days. The human forces were only able to hold for a week longer with no anti-air support. Three weeks later the human armies were defeated, except for the ones in hiding or fleeing. Two of the fortresses had been discovered and wiped out, but the others remained safely hidden. The Earth was now under control of the aliens, which were now called the Techlons by the human survivors. It was another two months before the planet became fully under control of the Techlon fighting machine.

To the amazement of the human survivors Pokemon only existed on Earth. For three long years a rebellion was waged on Earth before it was ended violently and the now one million human population was placed in Techlon cities around the Earth, under guard by heavy Alien forces.

In four years of war humanity had lost over nineteen billion lives. The Techlon showed no mercy, death or slavery awaited.

A Pokemon breeding program was soon initiated by the Techlon after the rebellion had been quashed. The Pokemon who once had human masters were hunted down and killed. Any wild Pokemon that could be found were rounded up and placed in breeding facilities where they were placed under heavy guard and kept from seeing the enslaved humans.

Although the resistance had been crushed the leader was never found, he was now deep in the earth in a bunker located in the once New York state. Shepard was seated at a table that displayed a 3D hologram of men and women. Each person was a commander of the hidden bases. Shepard was speaking, “One of my special forces units have just learned that the Techlon breeding program in the west has just finished the first batch of Pokemon, they will be shipped in one month. This means we have one week to make a plan, two to get forces in position, and one to execute the plan. General Beck, how many men do you have?” Beck was the general in charge of Oregon, Washington, Idaho, and Montana.

“I have twelve thousand men under my command. Four of my six dreadnoughts and all of the support vessels are finished,” the general replied. “My men have also managed to dig a tunnel that leads underneath the breeding facility.”

“How did you manage that?” Sally said queried. “Their security is ten times greater than anything we ever had.”

A sly smile appeared on Beck’s face. “We shut off the power for a short time and made it appear to be a power surge, by the time a response team arrived my engineers were long gone. We left no trace. But, we also discovered a Porygon and Rotom hiding in an electrical plant.”

One of Shepard’s eyebrows rose. “I thought the Techlon captured all the wild Pokemon.”

Beck nodded. “So did I, but we keeping on finding more and more wild Pokemon hiding out trying to escape the Techlon. Even those in the wild must feel how unnatural they are. Chances are, many more Pokemon are hiding that we don’t know about.”

General Cooke cocked his head to the side. “We must look into this, our Pokemon numbers have been falling lately. From both war and disease.” He sighed ruefully. Although was had been a great factor, war had left the survivors weak and without an over abundance of food. This had left them vulnerable to diseases, bacteria, and virus.

“So we will,” Shepard said. “Start sending parties into the wilderness and try to capture some.” The Earth’s once major cities were no longer there, the Techlon had reduced them to little more than rubble and nature now ruled the Earth once again, except for the parts the Techlon had built cities or camps on.

“What is our plan?” Miscon interrupted. He was not very patient, a fact that drove his colleagues crazy. But he had a brilliant military mind and knew logisitics to such an extent that his men never went hungry.

“Well, I’m going to send SF group seven to the Northwest first. They should give us some intel before the main forces arrive,” Shepard said.

“We also need a commander,” Beck cut in.

Sally glanced at him. “What for? You’re an able commander.”

Beck sighed. “The doctors here inform me that I have cancer. I do not expect to be among the living in two months.”

Sally’s blue eyes flashed with sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, small things are beginning to tire me. I will not be able to lead the attack.”

Shepard nodded. “I’m sorry old friend. I think I will head out there myself to join you. My second in commander can take over here. He deserves a post.”

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Old 04-11-2011, 03:19 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

The rest of the American generals agreed. “The next question is what forces do we send?” said Hondo.

Timothy spoke up. “This would be a good time to test the fleet.”

Shepard frowned. “And risk it on one battle?”

“It would be a great moral booster, and be a surprise to the Techlon. Surely they do not know we exist. We can strike them hard and fast,” Hondo said. The rest of the generals agreed with Hondo’s assessment.

“Very well, but we need Pokemon if we are to stage an assault on the facility.”

“I have a plan,” that was Beck. “I’ve been hearing rumors of a Mew and Mewtwo hiding in the vicinity of Mt Adams. They would have Pokemon under them, it could be the boost we need.”

“I’ve heard of that a group of dark and ghost Pokemon are hiding in the old air force base in Colorado,” Hondo said, he was charge of the mountain states.

“I’ve heard of such rumors here aswell,” Shepard injected, “What makes you think they are real? I gather you’ve sent men to investigate?”

Hondo nodded. “I have, my men have found nothing but all report a feeling of being watched whenever they go there, and they hear cries. But whenever they get to the spot where they heard the sounds no one is there.”

“Then I will go to these places and see,” Shepard said. “Myself and group seven will depart tomorrow. We’ll first head for Colorado then MT Adams.”

“I’ll position the fleet at the Colorado base,” said Hondo.

“What about the support vehicles?” said Ruldoph Foxx. “We must place them close to the front.”

The breeding facility is in San Francisco,” Beck started. “I think our best choice would to place them on Vancouver Island and ship them over water”

Sally said, “We don’t have any boats, so it’s not possible.”

“We don’t, but the Canadians do.” This was Cooke. “They have their own base on Vancouver Island.”

“I thought they were wiped out,” said Sally, astonished, as was most of the command group. The Canadians had not faired very well in the war.

“I was aware they were still out there, but I had no way of contacting them.” Shepard turned his gaze to Cooke, “but how do you know?”

He shrugged. “My wife is Canadian; her sister was one of the few who managed to hide. They’ve kept in contact since then. If I can assure them that we can also help their plight, they will return the favor.”

Shepard nodded. “Fine, see if we can get their support. I think we’re done for now, if so, I must talk with the special forces commander.”

The generals nodded and their holograms faded away. Shepard was soon on his way to the barracks, where Charlie and his team was resting. The commander stepped through the barracks door to see twelve men lying around the room, some reading, a few cleaning weapons, and others doing other tasks. A six-two, white male came to attention and saluted. “Shepard.”

It was very informal at Shepard’s base, if one was off duty. “Afternoon, Charlie. You’re shipping out.”

Charlie frowned. “Sir, we’ve been out for a week on recon. We just got back an hour ago, me and my men are tired.”

“I understand, but this mission will be one of the most important you’ve ever done. Please assemble in the briefing room in ten minutes.” The words sounded like a polite order but rang with authority.

Ten minutes later the group of SF entered the briefing room. They each took a seat and looked ahead to the large screen in front of them, where Shepard was standing. “Welcome. I understand you all have been out there, but this mission requires the best, and that’s you.” He paced back and forth, like an anxious commander before a mission.

For half an hour Shepard outlined the mission. The special forces team took it well, despite having no rest. Only one question was asked by the delta force. “Do we get chameleons?”

Chameleons were a special suit that when worn, would render the user invisible, only able to seen by thermals. The suits had been originally designed for a waterproof material that could function well in wet environments, but when the suits were exposed to a special compound the material changed so that it could bend the light around the user. This was important because when light passes through or bounces off an object it gives a color, but when the light can’t pass or bounce, it gets bend to the object behind the wearer and what is behind the user gets shown.

Only American special forces had the suits with enough to go around. But because of the wars and casualties the suit numbers had dropped. The remaining American forces did not have the material to replace the suits. Now only the most important missions allowed for chameleons.

“Yes, everyone will have one. Dismissed.”

Shepard’s plan was simple; he and the SF team would travel over land from New York to Colorado first. After that they would move on to Mt. Adams, then to Vancouver Island with hope of contacting the Canadian forces there. To travel across the U.S. the team would utilize short range hoppers and foot. The second portion would have remnants of the American fleet and army move to the American base at Grants Pass, Oregon; there they would wait for the go ahead to launch an attack on the breeding facility. The total assault would consist of 50,000 American soldiers, sixty-two dreadnoughts, one-hundred destroyers and three hundred and twenty-two cursers.

After all forces had been rounded up and put into place, the SF would infiltrate the alien facility, cut power and the communications, then signal the force. Once the force was signaled the fleet would engage the Techlon fleet in orbit while the ground force assaulted the facility. If the attack succeeded the facility would be destroyed and the Pokemon freed, either being released into the wild or brought to the bases. The enemy ground force numbered 39,900. Their orbital defenses numbered twenty-seven dreadnoughts, ninety-five destroyers and one hundred and ninety six cruisers.

Five days later{1330}

Shepard and the SF team were exhausted from their trip already, as they had to avoid any Techlon patrol that they came across. Currently the group was ten miles outside of the Norad base in which they were to investigate for Pokemon. They had just set up a small camp underneath a rock formation and were huddled around a thermal projector to keep the heat away. Charlie had just hung a chameleon screen over the group to shield them from any scanners or prying eyes. “We need to send a scout to see if any enemy are present,” Charlie said when he joined the group.

“I’ll go,” Roger said. He grabbed his rifle, did a quick check and left the encampment.

Roger checked his chrono, he had about three hours of daylight left. He would be able to get there and back in two hours if he was lucky. He would travel eight of the miles by hopper, than the rest by foot. He pressed a button on his digital arm sleeve and a slender metal frame materialized n his back. Two poles extended to wrap around his arms while two small thrusters appeared on his back. Finally, two more poles extended to grip his legs. He waited a quick second for the hopper to sync with his HUD then slowly lifted off. He kept careful watch on his attitude, just enough to hover above the tree line and went to his target. The sky was overcast, the wind blowing, the temperature low, and the chance of snow high. To Roger this was not a good combination for flying or stealth maneuvers. Snow left footprints and reduced visibility for both sides; but it did help the humans in that the Techlon guards would return to their post often to heat up.

When Roger reached the two mile marker he lowered his hopper to the ground, alighted softly and had the thing fold back into a metal square on his back. It had just started to snow lightly so Roger triggered his thermal and light magnifier goggles. Light magnifiers basically worked to gather extra light around an area so the user could see better. For human eyes, it enabled them to see in the dark as if it was daylight. He set it up so the thermal was seen through his right eye and the magnifier on his left. He pulled a slim pill shaped capsule from his utility belt and triggered it. “Come forth Cinccino.”

The area about him lit up with soft blue light that materialized into a slight mouse looking creature. It stood almost two feet high and weighed about seven and a half kilos. It had two large ears that wrapped around its skull, while a series of scarf like fur extended down its back to two ribbons on either side of its light brown fur. The Pokemon shook its self then looked up at Roger. “It’s cold here, what do you want?”

Roger smiled at his friend. “You and I both know you can’t feel the cold with that coat of yours.” Cinccino beamed up at him. “Now, we are on a recon mission. I want you to listen for any Techlon.”

The Pokemon’s face turned serious. “No problem.” The Pokemon turned away and scampered up a tree. Within a second Roger could no longer see his Pokemon, its brown and white coat made an excellent camouflage with the snow and bark of the trees.

“Wait.” Roger tossed a small transmitter into the tree so his Pokemon could grab it. “Notify me if you hear anything.”

Roger pulled his rifle into the firing position and took off for his target two miles away. Half an hour later he was on the mountain in which the base was located. Using the knowledge he had gained from the briefing in New York the week before, he located the gate entrance to the base. When he was fifty yards away from the gate he crouched in the snow and fiddled with the scope on his plasma rifle.

With the configurations he made, Roger had just made the scope now function like that of a sniper, but without the range. He marked in his head the three different patrols of Techlon guards on his HUD; he was almost discovered when a patrol of ten nearly stumbled upon him. The tall black and purple alien armor was menacing this close to him. He could hear their breathing through their masks with his hearing amplified up. Besides the three roving patrols he sighted two hornets nests with plasma bursters, each manned by three guards located at the corners of the gate circling the Norad entrance. The only other guards he saw where the three guards physically manning the gate. He triggered his throat mic, as it directly measured the vibration of his vocal chords so that the barest of whisper could not be heard even if you were standing next to a person. “Sora, how many by your count. I have thirty-nine.”

A slight whistle came back. “I hear about ninety give or take. That’s not counting any inside the base outside my hearing range.”

“This is going to be more difficult than I thought. Do you hear any chargers?” Chargers were Techlon equivalent of a human dog, only the chargers stood about three feet high and were strong as an ox.

“We’re good in that department, boss. I also detect the communications center fifty meters to the back and right of the gate.”

“Good enough. Let’s get out of here.” Because of the Techlon patrols Roger slid backward along the ground careful to leave as few marks as possible. After rendezvousing with Minccino he returned to the base camp.

Everyone was up and waiting for him when he returned. Everyone already knew of the layout as he had tight beamed it to them when he had put distance put him and the base.

Charlie spoke first after Roger had replaced the camouflage net and sat down besides the thermal projector. “With the data from Roger and Sora I’ve mapped the times and spots of the Techlon patrols. Seeing as how the Techlon presence is significant I think the best option would be to use a Pokemon to provide a five second short of the system while we use the hoppers to surpass the fence without being detected. Once over, we’ll break down the hoppers and sprint for the comm tower. I wager they’ll be about ten or so Techlon within the building. Minccino will use Sing to lull them asleep, and if that doesn’t work we’ll rush the building. Either way we’ll have to set up a communication burst loop for the duration that we’re within the base.”

“That’s good and all, but what if we’re spotted?” Israel asked.

“We’ll toss plasma grenades at the hornets nest to eliminate them. Two will take out the gate guards and ambush the patrols when they return while the rest of us will sweep the complex.” This came from Shepard. “But I’m hoping it will not come to that, it will just create problems.”

“I don’t want this to come down to a firefight; in and out is the goal,” Charlie stated. “We’ll move out at first light tomorrow.”

The team took shifts on keeping watch, but the night passed without any events happening. The weather intensified in its ferocity as the amount of snow picked up ten-fold. Visibility was reduced to ten yards, even with the thermal goggles activated. Travel by hopper was impossible so the team was forced to hoof it the ten miles. Usually the team could cover ten miles in about one hour, but due to the mountainous and forestry terrain coupled with the snow the trek took three hours.

The team approached the base in a fan formation communicating only through radio and with Minccino keeping an ear out for any Techlon patrols that weren’t picked up before. Luckily the patrol schedule of the Techlon remained the same so the team made it to the fence unmolested. Charlie retrieved his own capsule. “Come forth Ampharos.” The tall yellow Pokemon appeared.

It wrapped its long yellow tail around its body. “Next time I want a warmer climate,” the Pokemon muttered. Ampharos skimmed the fence with one of the black horns on its head and increased the static electricity around its body. A second later it looked at Charlie. “Thirty seconds.”

Twenty seconds later Ampharos was back in its capsule, the team was over the fence and rushing the comm building, their feet lightly hitting the snow. The building was exactly where Minccino said it was. The only problem was that it was a Techlon building. The building was black, rectangular shaped, and had two scorpion shaped apparatus extended from the top of the building to form a slight oval, as the tips didn’t touch.

“Create a perimeter,” Charlie ordered. “Minccino, find a vent to project your voice within the building. Israel, I want eyes within incase the plan doesn’t work.”

Once everyone was in position Charlie gave the signal to Minccino and turned his attention to his surroundings. Twenty seconds later Charlie felt a tap on his shoulder. Using his HUD he checked behind him, as all helmets with HUD had the ability to obtain a 360 view without physically moving one’s head. Minccino was staring directly at him. “Mission accomplished. They’ll be out for twelve hours at least.”

Charlie switched to the all hands circuit. “Soldiers down. Psai, set the communication loop.” Psai was the only female SF soldier in the squad and she was one of the best communication officers in the entire U.S. Army. Psai nodded and entered the building. She returned two minutes later and gave the thumbs up. “The bunker entrance is ninety yards to the west, there will probably be at least one hornets nest and a light tunnel guard. Move fast and hit them hard, silence and speed are the keys. Go,” Charlie commanded.

As the one, the group rose and made the dash through the snow to the bunker entrance. Seeing as how visibility was reduced, the group was nearly upon the enemy before they saw them. Sure enough a single hornets nest guard the entrance flanked by ten guards huddled around a plasma heater. The Techlon group were startled by the sudden attack of the thirteen humans and stood no chance of fighting back. Five seconds later the group lay dead in the snow, their armor and bodies smoking from the plasma bolts.

“Move the bodies,” Charlie commanded. “Psia, set up the hologram projector.” As they were SF, they were authorized to carry the rare and expensive portable hologram projectors. The devices were able to project an image up to twenty-four hours long before self-destructing. “Deklin, Donald, and Roger will guard the entrance. The rest of us will move through the bunker. Move out!”

The remaining ten soldiers switched completely over to their night vision and entered the dark tunnel that would take them a mile below ground to the heart of the complex.

Remnants from the long ago battle were still evident. All manner of vehicles and debris were scattered along the tunnel, making the descent by locomotive impossible. The battle for Norad had took two days with fifty-thousand Americans facing 500,000 Techlon. Two-fifths of the enemy force perished before the human forces fell. Only a few hundred managed to escape before the Techlon massacred both the civilians and survivors. The battle became known as Fury’s Tunnel, a war cry during the failed rebellion.

“If we see any Techlon patrols we are to deal with them quietly and stealthy like. None must reach the surface and compromise our exit,” said Shepard. “Chances are that the Pokemon we are looking for will be in the farthest reaches of the base, probably near
the weapon storage facility.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Charlie confirmed. “But keep an eye out for any Pokemon that might point to a different location,” he said to his squad.

“That will not necessary.” Shepard sent a map over to Charlie’s HUD. “We can move to the central hub located here.” A portion of the map became highlighted. “Once there I can use my encrypted pass code to gain control of the facility. I will not active the weapons or power obviously, but I can turn on all cameras and sensors to let us know where both Pokemon and Techlon patrols are.”

Charlie switched to the squad circuit and sent a copy of the map to his team members, “We’re heading to the central hub; it’s about four-hundred yards from our current position. Move out and keep those eyes peeled.”

To reach the hub the group would have to exit the entrance tunnel, enter the assembly area, take the stairs down two flights of stairs. Make a left, go one-hundred yards to the officer’s barracks, enter, travel thirty yards past the war room, then past the final hundred yards to the central hub. It took the group almost an hour to make it past the tunnel and reach the assembly area. The assembly area was a cleared lobby the size of four football fields with both equipment and personal elevators for moving weapons of war and men throughout its massive complex. Like the tunnel, remnants of a battle were strewn about everywhere, limiting LOS -line of sight- severely.

“Keep close, break weapons down to close quarter combat, and keep your blades ready,” ordered Charlie. The SF weapon could function as a rifle, an assault rifle, and submachine gun. It wasn’t as efficient as an exclusive sniper rifle or submachine gun but it could function like the weapons and get the job done. The group was rounding a destroyed tank when Thomas, on point, gave the signal to get done.

“Five Techlon ahead, they’re trying to corral a Litwick,” Thomas said in the squad circuit. Litwick were tiny ghost pokemon with a white/blue body, vibrant yellow eyes, and a small blue flame hovering above the head/body.

“Drop them,” came the reply from Charlie.

As one the group dropped to their stomachs and inched forward until they all could see the Techlon soldiers trying to place an electric net on the terrified Pokemon. “Shepard, myself, Darrius, Psia, and Thomas will take the shots.” Once the five had their shots ready each used their HUD to let the other know. When Charlie was satisfied he did a soft countdown and fired a single shot. All five shots struck home and the dead Techlon crumpled the ground, the armor making a clanking noise. “Gibson, secure the Litwick, everybody else form a perimeter.”
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Old 04-20-2011, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Gibson approached the Pokemon, but due to his chameleons the Pokemon could only sense him and not see him. “Go Banette,” he said. Banette was a gray ghost Pokemon with brown stared tail and mouth. It had a round head with red eyes, thin paper like hands with three short finger, and two stubby legs. Its head-tail trailed down its back that bounced lightly whenever it moved. The poppet like Pokemon cocked its head sideways and stared at Litwick before chuckling darkly.

“Go with Shadow Ball.” Banette fired a dark orb at Litwick, but the candle Pokemon responded with dense smog from its tiny mouth that covered the area and caused the attack to miss. “Foresight, then try another Shadow Ball.” The ghost type transferred its internal energy to seeing, located its foe then fired another attack. But the Litwick was waiting for the attack, and countered with its own attack, before channeling its own energy into placing an imprison attack on Banette. As Banette lost some of its moves the candle gained some advantage.

Gibson saw the Litwick ready a Confuse Ray move. “Not going to happen, Taunt it.” His Pokemon opened its mouth to show its sharp teeth, pointed a hand at Litwick and doubled over laughing hysterically. The small blue/white Pokemon started to glow red and its flame brighter as it was taunted. It fired a Shadow Ball instead. “Faint Attack.” Banette made to move, but slowed its speed sufficiently that the attack struck its shoulder and sent it spiraling to hit the ground hard.

Litwick plastered a smile on its small face and approached its vanquished for, but Banette leaped up and struck it violently with a ghost infused punch. The fire type used the momentum to somersault away and respond with an Inferno attack.

“Use Will-O-Wisp to counter!” Gibson’s pokemon also let loose with a fire attack, a blue orb of flame collided with the red flame of Inferno, causing both to negate one another. “Now Screech with a Shadow Ball.” The pure ghost type unleashed a scream that would have caused the humans to lose their hearing if not for the sounds dampers. Litwick was rooted to the spot by the attack and just barely managed to dodge the next attack, the explosion from the Shadow Ball sending Litwick flying.

The other Pokemon was not without tricks though, in the air it started to glow a purple, as did Banette. It took Gibson a moment to realize that Litwick had used the powerful Pain Split attack, splitting the combined health of the two combatants. With Banatte momentarily stunned by the sudden loss of energy Litwick tried to use Night Shade, but Gibson had one last move. “Shadow Sneak.” Although still stunned Banatte’s body turned from a gray to a black and shifted to a nearby shadow, then another to come up right beside Litwick. Banette delivered a crushing punch to Litwick, and the smaller Pokemon fell to the ground unconscious. Gibson called back his partner and captured Litwick in a fresh Pokeball before turning to Charlie, “Shall I heal it with a potion?”

The officer shook his head. “We can’t waste potions.”

Psia stepped forward. “I got this, Slowking come forth and use your Heal Pulse.”

A a large two-legged pink Pokemon appeared over the body of Litwick after Gibson had summoned it back. The gray shell-like structure that served as a crown of the Pokemon faintly glowed as Slowking fired a small pulse of pink colored light at Litwick. Once it was sufficiently healed, Psia recalled Slowking and returned to her position while Charlie, Shepard, and Gibson crowded the new addition to the team.

“How many Techlon and Pokemon are here,” asked Shepard first as he was the senior officer.

The sullen Litwick glared up at him for a second. “About hundred fifty of the Shadow Walkers and sixty of us.” Litwick had a squeaky voice.

“Who leads you?” this from Charlie.

“A Gengar.”

The three soldiers exchanged a worried look. Gengar were powerful Pokemon and ranked among the best in terms of move pool and ability. That coupled with that fact that it was the leader of so many Pokemon meant it was powerful indeed. Shepard spoke again. “Why are so many of you gathered in one spot? Don’t you realize that if the Techlon sent a sizable force you would all be caught or killed?”

“Unlikely, we use the shadows and our abilities to evade capture, besides the Shadow Walkers are the ones who have to worry. We’ve been attacking and killing groups of them, “ the ghost smiled evilly, “those five are the leftovers of twelve who perished. I got separated from the group then backed into a corner. There used to be five-hundred Shadow Walkers here, but over the past three months we’ve eliminated them and any reinforcements they send. The remaining ones here are waiting for a transport ship tomorrow night to take them away.”

“How many have you lost?” asked Shepard next.

The Litwick cringed. “Only ten, but they were my friends.” The flame above Litwick damped in intensity as it remembered the harsh past. “They died honorably, so I shouldn’t be upset over them.” It fixed them with an appraising look. “Why do you want to know of these things?” It was suspicious, but because it had been captured by a human its nature compelied it to obey.

“You of course know that Techlon are capturing all species of Pokemon?” The commander waited for creature to nod. “Well, what you don’t know is that they have built a breeding facility in San Francisco and intend to take the babies off planet. We can’t allow that.” Shepard was surprised the by the heat of his words.

The ghost looked at the two invisible men. “You can’t do anything about it though; you humans got defeated trying to defend the planet in the rebellion. We Pokemon are the last line of defense.“ Pride was infused during the last sentence.

“True and untrue,” Shepard responded. “Yes, we were defeated, but all around the world there are human forces waiting for the right moment to evict these trespassers and send them back to whatever hell they call a planet. This will be achieved in time, but right now we can’t allow the Techlon to leave with Pokemon. Current we are trying to rally Pokemon to our cause and move the sufficient manpower into position to strike.”

The candle Pokemon took a moment to contemplate this new information. “I think the Gengar should hear this. We Pokemon are currently held up in the weapon storage facility and have control over the bottom three levels of the complex; the Techlon don’t go down that far.”

“Good,” Charlie replied. “We’re heading to the central hub and then we can follow you.”

“Wait, let’s split the team here; you, I, and three others can follow our ally while the rest head to the hub. They can lock the hub down and communicate to us where the patrols are in response to our location. It will cut down time and lower our chance of detection,” Shepard said.

“Splitting could be dangerous,” cautioned Charlie.

“No more so than what we are doing now, let’s get this done.” Shepard said it like a statement, but the tone implied an order.

“Understood.” Charlie switched over to the squad circuit. “Deklin, Donald, Roger, remain at the entrance. Psia, Arteus, Rico, Tristan, Darrius, head to the central hub as planned and provide intel on Techlon patrols. Furthermore, see if you can hack into the Techlon communications above ground and completely infect their system. I, the commander, Israel, Septimus, and Hannibal will keep to the original plan and find the leader of the band here. Move out.”

Litwick turned to the commander. “We’ll need to take the munitions elevator down to the armor area since you’re only human.” It sneered.

“Won’t that attract unwanted attention?” Israel questioned.

“The Shadow Walkers know we use it, and every time they tried to attack it we had sufficient numbers to beat back any attack. So they no longer worry about it, they just mark the floor in which the elevator stops to find where we are.”

“How do you have power?” Shepard asked.

“We are using a Galvantula to provide limited power, and the Gengar and a Mismagius know how to use electric moves. All I need to do is let them know I need to use it.”

The group split into two, with one heading to the right and the other to the left. The group on the left was with Litwick and they managed to reach the large elevator shortly. Shepard ordered the men to set a screen while they were waiting for the elevator. It didn’t take long for the elevator to reach them and it was like any other elevator except for a few key differences. The first of which was that the elevator was the size of three houses, and on it was four destroyed tanks, and three transportation vehicles; and finally there were no walls, it was just a platform moving up and down a long tunnel. The SF team inspected the destroyed armor while the elevator descended; the tanks had urban camouflage but parts of it were covered by explosion marks or had been defaced by plasma bolts.

“Why haven’t these been moved?” asked Shepard to the Litwick.

“They provide good cover and there is no reason,” came the nonchalant reply.

When the silent elevator reached its destination the SF group was informed that they were now in controlled territory and didn’t need to worry about any Techlon. Unlike the above floors the floor the group found themselves on was completely dark, and the air was musty and stale, which made sense as the circulation system was obviously down. As the group followed their guide through rooms and hallways they saw signs of battle everywhere, from both original the battle and from the skirmishes between the aliens and Pokemon. Every so often they would spot Techlon bodies or eyes staring at them from the complete darkness, causing a feeling of uneasiness to descend upon the battle hardened soldiers.

Shepard knew when they had reached their destination as they approached a door that said ‘Warning: top secrete clearance required. Trespassers will be shot.’ Shepard switched his attention to the keypad on the door frame to the right. “How did you guys manage to get past this? It runs off its own source and can remain powered for two hundred years.”

“The ghost Pokemon just go through the walls, and those dark Pokemon that aren’t able to shift go through the door with some help of Galvantula.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware that a Galvantula could bypass such an expensive piece of technology.”

“Galvantula is powerful; she’s the second in command behind Gengar. Plus, she knows a special trick to where she can control the electrons and physical manipulate them within electronic devices.”

“Powerful indeed.” Charlie looked to Shepard. “She could come in handy when we assault the breeding facility in San Francisco.”

Just then the door swung open to reveal a darkened chamber. “Have no fear.” Litwick piped up. “The boss is just being cautious. Make no sudden movements, keep your hands to your sides and follow me.”

Shepard was desperate to activate his light magnifier, but he knew some of the Pokemon would be able to sense him doing so. The group stopped at what Shepard figured to be the center of the room. “Stay here,” Litwick commanded and bounced off into the shadows.

A few seconds later the area became illuminated in pale, yellow light. The area bathed in the light spread out only enough to cover the five men, leaving the surrounding space dark. “Why are you here?” a sinister voice said from the shadows which covered the entire room save for the one spot.

“We come seeking aid.” Shepard kept his voice calm and tried to steady his beating heart.

“You can find none here,” the shadows responded.

“Perhaps, but you know not of my goals or intentions,” the commander pointed out, keeping his voice respectful.

“Very well, speak.”

It took Shepard a few minutes to completely explain the situation, but when he was done he felt confident that he had accurately relayed the information in a brief and clear manner. “That’s the gist of what is going on. The plan is still getting the details hammered out as all the pieces has not been put into place, but the attack will commence no matter what.”

"I suppose my group is one of the pieces you refer too?” It was more of a statement than a question so Shepard kept quiet. “You are correct in your view that our brethren cannot leave this planet. We will help you.” A short purple creature emerged from the shadows and floated before the SF group. It smiled and scratched a small pointed ear with a stubby arm. “We’ll have to eliminate the Techlon force here; otherwise it will be difficult for my forces to leave this base.”

Shepard made to reply but a communication icon on his HUD delayed him. “Commander, Deklin, here. We’ve been discovered and are taking heavy fire by a force that numbers at least fifty. Ten of the Techlon are down but we’ll have to fall back.”

Shepard snapped to battle ready. “Fall back to the control hub and hold there with the others. My group will hit them from the flank and catch them in a crossfire.” Shepard cut the link and returned his focus to Gengar. “Your wish is coming true, my men are being attacked.”

An evil grin spread across the Gengar’s face. “Perfect.” He turned to the shadows. “Just like we planned, split into your groups and start attacking Shadow Walker groups. Remember attack nothing with over fifteen soldiers! Tara, control the forces from here while I head with Shepard. Have Jusic remain with you to communicate with our forces as we attack,” he commanded Galvantula, who was in the shadows and remained hidden from the team.

“Hustle team,” Charlie ordered and the group ran for the exit. When Charlie’s group finally neared the hub the sounds of an earnest firefight reached their ears. The soldiers crept close enough to see the Techlon crowded in a hallway leading to the hub trading shots with the SF held up inside. “What's the situation?” Charlie said into the squad circuit.

“Under heavy fire, both Tristan and Darrius have been hit, but neither wound is serious,” came back Psia’s response.

“Give us twenty seconds to get into good firing positions then duck.” Charlie cut the link and switched to the individuals with him and ordered them into spots that offered maximum killing opportunity. Charlie gave the signal and the six soldiers opened up with plasma fire, Gengar also fired a few Shadow Balls of its own. The rear ranks of the Techlon were cut down instantly by the merciless fire, and when the rest turned to meet the threat from the rear the other SF team resumed their fire, catching the Techlon force from two directions. Forty seconds later the last of the plasma bolts struck its target in the chest, dropping the alien officer to its knees. The smell of charred flesh coupled with the ozone from the plasma bolts was enough to make any creature sick, meaning Charlie was forced to route outside air through his filter to escape the smell.

“This is one barbecue I would not like to feast on,” Rogers quipped.

Shepard turned to Gengar. “I count approximately eighty here, and with the casualties at the gate that leaves us with one hundred or so Techlon.”

Gengar closed its eyes and concentrated as it opened a link with its Pokemon. “We’ve took out another forty.” His brow furrowed as he expanded his link. “I can sense about thirty more within the compound and the same number outside covering the entrance.”

“We can deal with the ones outside; have your forces finish off the ones within the compound. Charlie, leave the corpses, gather the men and follow me,” Shepard ordered.

“If you attack the entrance you’ll be sure to lose men,” Gengar cautioned.

“Exactly, I know of a secret entrance from the officer war room. It’s only two floors below us and one of the exits will take us to the air field on the west wing of the place. From there we can attack from the rear.”

"Wait," Roger broke in. "If there was a secret entrance why didn't we use it before?"

"Because it can only be accessed from the inside."

“Good option,” Gengar agreed. “I will have a couple of my troops cast phantoms to keep the aliens occupied."

Shepard nodded and sprinted from the corridor, the other soldiers hot on his heels as the Gengar shifted to another location in the compound. The team made good time getting to the room, only slowing when they surprised five Techlon heading for the surface. The aliens were quickly put down with the help of blades. Thankfully the hidden passages were still undiscovered and the SF group was able to enter the wreckage free tunnel and take an express elevator to the air field. The elevator dropped them off inside the hanger that would have housed the aircraft for the highest ranking officers, but like the rest of the base this hanger was also cluttered with parts leftover from the battle, mainly a jumbo bomber. It was slow going as the group tried to exit the runway area as the craters and the still falling snow hindered their trek. When they finally made it too the entrance they saw that the Techlon had erected some shield barriers and had turned the plasma bursters to face the base entrance.

“You know what to do,” Charlie ordered his men. Like the earlier fight this battle was also one-sided as the Techlon were not expecting an attack from the rear of any kind. When the last of the invaders were dead the Gengar and his small force exited the compound carrying their wounded and dead. After the Pokemon leader had ordered its Pokemon about it floated toward Shepard.

“What are we to do now?”

Shepard brought up a map on his wrist computer and transferred the image to 3D. “Take your forces here. There is a secret base at this location, just look for Deer Ridge and two hundred yards south of it you will find the personnel entrance under a bush and canopy of trees. Everything else will be explained there.”

Genger did a slight bow. “Good hunting. I’ll see you on the frontline.”

When the dark and ghost Pokemon had left, Shepard ordered every piece of Techlon equipment and buildings to be set aflame. With the surface base ablaze the team used their hoppers and left the area, the destination Washington State.

The trip to Washington had difficult and easy parts. The first leg involved climbing up and over the Cascade mountain range, which ran south to north. As it was winter the going was rough, and the weather wasn’t cooperating. The hoppers made the first leg easier, but with copious amounts of snow the SF sometimes had to land and wait out a particular storm front.
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:19 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Currently the group was in southern Idaho near the once state capital of Boise. The once boisterous city was now an abandoned ghost town and the only life present was in the form of a Techlon base three miles outside of the city. Enroute to Washington commander Shepard had received a communiqué from general Hondo that a SF team was trapped in the city and had casualties. The sky was overcast with showers on and off throughout the day. Shepard and his men were in a forest to the east of the city and the downed SF team were thirty miles in the city, near the industry district. Charlie and his superior were crouched under a tree with the rest of squad members around them keeping watch.

Charlie touched his helmet directly to Shepard to facilitate direct communication and network sharing. “This will be risky, the Techlon know the SF team is there and their patrols will be out in force. Chances are we’ll have to fight something if we go in the city, whether it be night or day.”

“No choice, we leave them and they die,” Shepard stated. “We can’t afford to lose more men, especially with the attack in a couple weeks.”

Charlie sighed. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to like the situation.”

“Ditto, now to the plan. We’ll have to avoid the highways and interstates, but I think we can bypass the security checkpoints and the city walls by skirting this aqueduct here and approaching from the waste lines.”

“What if those are monitored?” countered Charlie.

“Then we’ll take the old railway tunnel; that thing hasn’t been running in over fifty years so I doubt it will be monitored. And if it is the guard is sure to be lighter there than anywhere else.”

“Copy, let’s move and we can get there by two in the afternoon.”

With the plan set the team started to move west, their going slow and cautious, taking care to keep to the wooded areas away from any Techlon sensors and patrols. When they finally reached the city it was one thirty and the rain was coming down fierce. The walled city was still splendid even after its defeat. The fifty-foot walls towered above everything around it, the roving lights of the Techlon security highlighting certain parts of it and in the process showcasing the light blue stone from which the wall was created.

“Both ground and skyline exits have heavy security,” Septimus commented as he scanned the entrances with his magnifier. “The rain is impairing my sight, but I think there is about thirty guards per entrance.”

The commander frowned and used his own magnifier. “That’s a pretty heavy entrance guard for an abandoned city and one SF team. Do we have any other intel?” he asked Rico, the intelligence officer for the squad.

“Boise was the last northwestern city to fall under Techlon control, but since then no reports of human activity have been reported.”

“Something else must be going on,” Charlie murmured softly.

“Psia, launch a hacker dart at one of the camera spikes and infiltrate the system. Locate the team and notify me of anything that could be useful. Arteus will be your guard; the rest of us will scout the aqueduct.”

While the rest of the group slunk off through the underbrush leaving silently; Psia readied her main weapon and loaded a silver metal dart into it. Then using her HUD she configured the weapon to rifle mode and removed the clip. After the transformation was complete her two point five feet assault rifle had turned into a four foot rifle. She sat in a sniper’s squat, not minding the mud that started to soak her clothing, and zoomed in on a camera patrolling the western slope. She chose one away from the other cameras and out of sight from the security. The dart silently struck its target, but Psia kept her sight on the camera just incase one of the guards had by chance heard it. When she was satisfied she pulled up her HUD and switched her computer over to manual guidance. From there she used her hacking program to bring up the virus the dart had inserted into the Techlon system and began to gain control over parts of the system, without the Techlon programs being aware of it and tripping an alarm.

As the data she wanted began to download into the US intelligence data banks she began to search for what the general had wanted. She was surprised by how big the Techlon force was: 20,000 strong. Such a number was unusually for a city in this part of the country, especially for an abandoned city. Instinctively she knew something was going on that warranted such a force. While she waited for her search results to come back she ordered the Techlon machines to locate the SF team using the ultra-UVA marker each chameleon carried. The Techlon didn’t know about the UVA patches otherwise they would use them against the human warriors. The team was holed up in a collapsed warehouse in the industry district, but Techlon patrols were numerous in the area as they looked for the elite warriors. That wasn’t the biggest surprise yet; she found something that had shocked the complete hell out of her. There was a facility under the city hall that was experimenting on both humans and Pokemon alike. She quickly sent this information to the officers and made for the aqueduct with Arteus right on her heels. The aqueduct was one mile outside the city and ran from Arrowrock reserve and up through the southeastern part of the city. The team was at part of the river that regulated water control into the city, the water management facility. The complex was currently under Techlon control and Psia and Arteus found the other members scoping the facility. Psia walked up the commanders who were silently talking.

She plugged into their communication through a head touch. “We have a serious problem.”

“Yes, your tightbeam just finished arriving and I haven’t a chance to read it over,” Shepard said aside to her.

“Sir, you really need to read it now,” Psia couldn’t help keep the impatience from her voice.

“Watch your tone soldier,” Charlie snapped. Psia couldn’t see his eyes behind his gear but if she could she knew they would be narrowed in anger. “This better be good,” he grumbled.

Psia didn’t say anything as he scanned the document she had sent him, but she did hear an audible gasp from the normally emotionally shut officer.

“Switch to squad circuit now and send this to everyone, this becomes top priority immediately. Charlie, distribute a copy to every soldier while I talk to headquarters.” The senior officer in Shepard was coming out with every word.

While the team was able to scan through all the documents in ten minutes, Shepard was busy talking with headquarters for half an hour. When he returned the group was waiting silently, alert for any danger. “This is going to be a big problem.” He started off. “This facility clearly needs to be dealt with, but it would take too long to divert the fleet this far north and we wouldn’t be able to move the fleet without being seen like we’re doing now. This means that we have to take the facility out by ourselves. Defeating the Techlon force here cannot be accomplished by us, so we’re going to have to blow the facility and escape.”

“We don’t have close to enough explosives to detonate the facility,” said Israel, the explosives expert.

“Think man, the Techlon are sure to have arms we can liberate in the name of freedom,” Roger admonished in a joking manner.

“That will just add more complications, to an already complicated situation,” Arteus cut in.

“We really don’t have any other option, and this discussion has already taken place and decided,” Shepard’s voice held a no-nonsense tone. “Saddle up, we’re moving to the railway, this place is obviously watched.” Shepard moved away from the aqueduct without waiting for the confirmation from the team, he knew they would join him.


Underground facility

The girl awoke with a gasp as the icy cold water drenched her yet again. She mentally sighed as she came to the realization that she had been woke up again after the last round. The paltry things she called clothing now clung to her skin giving her goose bumps and barely covering her lady parts. A punch to the jaw jolted her from her private thoughts and was forced to stare into the purple eyes of her handler. She would have spat, liked she had when she was first brought here, but now she could barely lift her head. The creature retrieved a key from its dark blue tunic and used the silver key to unlock the shield shackles chaining its prisoner to wall. Due to her weakened state the captive could only stare at the black tiles as her captive led her away. She hated her torturers and their fondness for dark colors; didn’t they ever use bright colors or something besides purple, blue, and black? She was suddenly thrown up and hoisted onto the Techlon’s shoulder in a fireman's carry, probably because her withered feet were dragging along the floor, and boy did the Techlon hate dirty places. Hell, if she was in any good condition she would have been forced to clean the floor with her tongue, then she would have been whipped. She was so caught up in her thoughts she failed to notice where she was heading, but when she did a frightened scream tore from her lips. Summoning what strength she could muster she tried to fight back, knowing it was futile. The Techlon calmly walked on, ignoring her pleas and blows. When he entered a small square room he and another technician grabbed the women’s arms and strapped her onto a chair that rose up from the ground. With her head strapped to the back of the chair she couldn’t see her arms splayed and strapped down, her feet getting the same treatment. Both Techlon left the room and plunged the already dimly light room into pitch black. She screamed louder as she felt the sharp pricks of needles as they pierced her head in a semicircle starting from her neck to circle the sides of her head. Different sets of sharp needles continued to probe down her body, increasing the pain that she was experiencing twenty-fold. By the time the needles reached her abdomen she had passed out from the pain, thankful to have escaped the experience.

When she came to next she was naked and lashed to a wall with her front facing the wall. She knew what would come next for failing to stay awake during the tests, but didn’t care one bit. The first lash from the laser strip didn’t elicit a cry. She heard the sizzle of her skin as it puckered and fried from the contact with the super hot strip. When the smell of burnt flesh reached her nostrils she couldn’t help herself and vomited down her front. This just enraged the alien holding the whip as the number of blows increased. She shut her eyes and felt the tears roll down her cheeks as the blows continued to strip and melt the flesh from her back. By the thirtieth lash she could no longer concentrate on counting as she reached her pain threshold and overwhelmed her senses. No longer able to hold back the cries of pain that demand to be released, she gave in to the urge and let herself yell out, knowing her captor would gain satisfaction but having no option. When the beating ended the plasma cuffs holding her to the wall retracted and she crumpled to the ground motionless. Her voice had already gone hoarse and she didn’t have enough strength to open her eyes much less move. An unintelligible bark from her beater broke through the haze of pain but meant nothing. The alien barked twice more before delivering two brutal kicks to her abdominal, causing her to cough up more blood as the kicks cracked a rib. The Techlon snarled something in an angry tone before seizing her right leg and hauling her up to carry her limp form. As she was hauled out she looked at the blue room where she was whipped. The room was now defaced with what little remained of her precious blood. She saw a Hispanic man being dragged in by another technician. Like her, he was naked but instead of getting a whipping the technician strapped him to the same wall, opened a terminal and ordered a tool kit to be transferred up. Even in her weakened state she winced from the thought of what awaited the man. She shot a look of sympathy at the man who smiled weakly in return, only to be backhanded by the hand of his torturer. When she turned away from the man, the room became filled with his screams for the Techlon started to slowly remove one his teeth. She turned away to see the clawed fist of the alien who was carrying her before the blow knocked her unconscious.

When she came to she found herself in a fresh cell, if you count no blood and only a bed of dead leaves as fresh. She had come to found out in her time here that the Techlon were especially cruel to anything they caught that was from Earth, whether it be human, Pokemon, or an animal. Nothing could escape their clutches or their wrath if they wanted. Seeing as how she was unceremoniously dumped in the middle of the stone floor, adding more bruises to her already impressive repertoire. She crawled to her bed and looked out her cell entrance. The entrance was covered by a shimmering blue field of plasma that would instantly fry anything that tried to get past. Beyond the field was a hallway and another cell like her own. Inside the cell before her was a Tyranitar strapped to a metal bed and contained by a shield of its own. The once healthy green skin of the Pokemon had turned an ugly olive with its scales peeling everywhere from the abuse it was taking. The diamond shaped patch of blue scales on its stomach had been peeled off to reveal its internal organs, its back and tail spikes had been painful clipped to nothing, and its claws had been pulled from its body, leaving gaping holes where they once were. The Tyranitar was currently unconscious from its latest ordeal of plasma balls being placed in its open wounds to sear the flesh there and cause even more damage. She didn’t know why the Techlon acted the way they did, but for a species to be so cruel she couldn’t fathom any explanation or even a thought, nothing made sense. In her time she had only known one good piece of news, the amount of subjects being brought here had trickled to nothing out all, it was surprising if even one new subject was brought in every month. She had no doubt in her mind that there was at least ten thousand subjects in here at one point in time, that number was likely down to less than one hundred. She knew that everyone from when she came to this place was already dead. This somber thought instantly put her to sleep as more grief overwhelmed her.

The captive awoke to what she figured to be a couple hours later; her old set of clothing had been returned. After she had slowly dressed in a tattered white strip that would wrap around her chest, and another strip to cover her lower body. She looked across the hallway to see the Tyranitar was now dead, its entrails on the ground below it. No doubt a Techlon had ripped the guts out while Tyranitar was still alive to inflict more pain upon the creature in its dying moments. Like anything else that died here, the body would be shredded and force fed to the other prisoners. She flashed back to the memories of when the prisoners had first learned from where the odd tasting meat came from. After all the prisoners had refused to eat anything and tried to starve, the Techlon initiated a force feeding program. Depending on the prisoner, up to six guards would enter and hold the prisoner in place while a seventh attached a device to the face of the prisoner that forced open the jaws and locked them so they couldn’t be closed. The food would then be forced down so that the reflex of vomiting was avoided. If you puked after they let you loose then the process would be repeated with the vomit instead of the food, and this would continue until the food was held down or you choked on your own vomit. Even after all this time she still managed to resist to the best of her abilities; anything that could make their job harder she would try her best. A silver lining of the process was if nobody died then you wouldn’t get fed, of course that caused problems because those that couldn’t hold out would starve and suddenly there would be enough meat for everybody. She had no real sense of time but certain things the Techlon did ran like clockwork, allowing her to have a rough idea of time in this place. She thought back to the time when she was first brought, three long years ago.

Space[Three years prior]{1300}

The battle above Earth had been going on for six hours now; Jade had to return to a dreadnought four different times to get more munitions after expending her loads. Right now she was in the hanger of the dreadnought Geronimo while her fighter refueled and rearmed. She and her pilot Riley were catching a quick snooze of fifteen minutes while they waited for her ship. She had fifty fighter kills, one dreadnought, one medium cruiser, and six light cruiser attributed to her kill count; Riley’s record would only show assist kills since he was only a navigator. Jade thought it ironic how those numbers meant nothing if they didn’t win this brutal war. What good are medals if you can’t enjoy the perks? A beep in her HUD helmet alerted her that her vessel was ready for combat. She looked to her right where Riley was sleeping in his orange flight suit. “Time to move sleepy head.” She kicked his foot to be sure.

He came awake with a startle and looked around wildly then sighed when he became attuned to his surroundings. “Lets go kick some butt.”

Jade smiled faintly. “We’ll see, now lets hurry up; our squad mates are still out there.”

The two rushed from the calm and clean briefing room to the dirty and hectic launching bay. Ships were leaving and docking at the same time as the fierce battle raged outside. The head crew chief walked over to the pair. His orange flight suit was marred with oil and grease from the fighters he was working on.

“Your fighter is over there. The right stabilizing fin was slightly damaged so the controls will be slightly sluggish but will still respond to fight speeds.”

“Then we’ll get back to the fight.”

“Be careful, you’ll be fifth in line to launch.”

Thirty minutes later the pair had entered the space battle and began their part in earnest once again. The light from the plasma and fire balls turned the space into a canvas of various colors as life was blinked out from the universe. The battle raged on as more life was extinguished from the fight.

Five hours later{1800}

Jade and Riley had already gone back to rearm six more times and fatigue was starting to take a toll on both pilot and navigator. Jade and another flight leader were leading an attack on a Techlon capital ship that was pounding the cruisers of the human fleet. The flights descended upon the enemy dreadnought like flies upon a carcass. This carcass could fight back, however; and it did. Jade and her two wingman were weaving around enemy fire as they prepared to dive bomb the bridge with torpedoes. There was a flash to Jade’s left as one of her wingman lost his life in the defense of their world. Jade fired her torpedoes at the structure right between the Techlon forward pincers, and above the main cannon. An explosion of fire rewarded Jade’s effort as her torpedoes struck home. The result of the two torpedoes caused the capital ship to tilt left and sink into Earth’s atmosphere.
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Old 05-09-2011, 11:01 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Jade made to leave the engagement from the now crippled dreadnought when a flash on the top of her canopy caught her attention. “Forward shields down, armor has has also been cracked,” called Riley from the rear.

Jade knew this was bad, forward shields down meant that a direct hit to her front meant the end for her and Riley; while too many direct hits from any direction would compromise her armor.

“Two tangos at our six,” Riley said to her.

“Damn, bad timing. This is squad leader, need assistance at my location.” She punched in some commands to her computer that would alert nearby units of her ship’s condition. “Riley, punch up command and tell them we’re coming in to get a new ship, we will not be able to take much...”

An explosion to her rear slammed her forward in the seat, causing her to smash her head against the front controls of the fighter. She righted herself and lifted a hand to her forehead when she felt something warm on it. Her fingers came away red as blood trickled down from a gash. “Riley, are you alright?” she called back. When he didn’t answer she did her best to turn around to see him. Riley was gone, as was part of the rear of the fighter. The only thing that saved her life was the shield that had enveloped the navigation area, saving the aircraft from losing pressure. Even though she felt for the loss of her close friend, saving herself was now more important that worrying about her dead friend. She let command know of her condition and made ready to return to the her command dreadnought when a message scrolled past her HUD. Command had directed her to return to Earth posthaste. Normally she would have been ordered to the dreadnought, but she knew her father’s hand was in this command; he was always looking out for his two children, even when they were adults. She directed her fighter away from the conflict that was raging all around her and said a silent prayer that any Techlon would leave the crippled fighter alone. This was not the case.

As Jade fled the battle in her crippled fighter another hit to rear sent the normally nimble fighter spinning out of control as both the right fin and thruster were blown off. She did her best to right the craft from its spin; the rotational pull of the gravity was too much and all she succeed in doing was to slightly lower the rotations per minute. Her hands were a blur as she reversed the forward thrusters to slow the descent and routed remaining energy to the forward shields to protect her when the craft entered the atmosphere. The front viewport light up in brilliant red and orange colors when the ship hit the atmo.

The pilot had to keep careful watch on the heat of the craft or risk a burn out. However, without the shields at full strength the spacecraft was taking a beating, causing multiple systems to crash. The two main systems that she lost were her communication network and both thruster linkages that allowed for steering. As the seconds to impact to counted down she grabbed her weapon, emergency supplies, and the only Pokemon she had brought along. The earth below at first looked like a giant sea of green and blue as she came in over Canada.

Seconds before impact she pulled the emergency chute and did a free burn with the forward thrusters. The directional pull of both the chutes and thrusters caused the war craft to lose speed dramatically. Despite the countermeasures the aircraft hit the Canadian forest hard. All Jade saw was the increasingly detailed forest below her as the craft sped toward. When she hit she saw was the green of an evergreen then black.

When she came to she took in her surroundings. She was still inside her fighter, but hanging vertically, the only thing keeping her inside the craft was her restraints as the canopy was gone. It was dusk as the sky was a dark gray highlighted by the flashes above as the space battle continued. She triggered the light magnifier on her HUD to see better and took stock of the complete situation. The things she had hooked to her flightsuit were all missing except for the sole Pokéball containing a Goldeen. With her able to see more clearly, she freed herself from the restraints and climbed to the top of the aircraft. The fighter was stuck between two massive evergreens that had sheared off the top and the remaining five wings. A groan of metal alerted her to the fact the spacecraft was breaking apart from the strain. She quickly located her position on her GPS and started to climb down the rather large tree. Because she was over fifty feet in the air it wasn’t exactly an easy climb, plus the worsening visibility just made matters worse, even with the nightvision. She was halfway down when a loud crack caused her to look up, just in time to see her fighter break off from the tree and go plunging to the ground. She squeezed her body as tight to the tree as possible and felt the disturbance of the air as the machine of war fell past. The resulting impact shook the area around it, causing Jade to lose her grip on the tree and plunge the remaining twenty feet to the ground.

She cried out when she felt a sharp pain in her left leg. She stifled the urge to cry as the pain coursed through her and blossomed. She looked down to see a large pointed fragment of metal jutting through her leg. As the blood began to soak the legging she tore a strip of cloth from her right arm and wound the strip around the metal fragment, leaving it inside her leg. She had to tear off three more strips but when it was done it looked like beehive had attached to her leg. Next she programed her flightsuit to remain at a constant temperature and to inject painkillers at a set interval. Her GPS had placed her on a mini island in the middle of a lake in Jasper forest, in Canada.

With her present condition she wouldn’t be able to travel the distance to the resort town without some aid. She proceeded to drag herself to a large branch that had broken and fallen from the tree. Being extra careful she avoided anymore metal fragments. When she reached the branch she pulled a small pen shaped object from one her pockets. The item was a small plasma cutter. It couldn’t do anything for certain objects, but for a simple branch it would work miracles.

Using the cutter she deftly fashioned a simple walking stick for her left leg. She leaned back against the tree in exhaustion and wiped the dirt from her hands onto her clothing. As her breathing slowed and her endocrine system calmed down, she found her eyelids drooping as fatigue coupled with the loss of blood and drugs began to lull her to sleep. Try as she might, she lost the battle to remain awake and drifted to sleep, leaning against a tree in the middle of Canada.

The bright rays of sun broke through the fog to wake up the downed pilot. She groaned and raised a gloved hand to block the rays as she slowly came awake. The first thing she did was remove her helmet to take in the brisk morning air then to check on her wound. The blood had managed to soak through two of the layers but the third remained dried.

She rose and surveyed the destruction around her. Parts of the fighter were scattered in a radius of ten yards, causing a decent amount of damage to the wooded area. She walked over to the destroyed cockpit and went to check on her flight chair. She sighed after a quick examination revealed that the transponder had been destroyed. Normally a pilot would be picked up as the rescue teams scrambled for fallen craft, but with her transponder gone they wouldn’t have the time to track her down when other pilots needed to be rescued. This meant that she would have to walk the distance to the resort town as she planned, and that’s if she could cross the lake she was marooned on. That in itself represented a problem because with her injury she had to rely on her Goldeen to ferry her across the lake and she could only get help if the resort still had people.

She grabbed the front zipper on her flight suit and rolled the suit down to her waist, leaving her upper body covered by a white tank top. It was early in the morning but the temperature was rapidly rising; it was going to be a hot day and she couldn’t afford to be stranded with a serious injury and no water. Jade retrieved her makeshift crutch and started to hobble toward the water less than a mile away. Thankfully the island was heavily wooded, keeping the direct sunlight off her. But the set back was all the trees and shrubbery made her weave about, tiring her further. One hour later she finally reached the shore. Instead of sand greeting her tired feet it was a plethora of sharp and jutted stones both close to shore and in the water.

“Come out Goldeen,” she said, reaching into a pocket and retrieving a red and white orb that contained the Pokemon. A bright flash illuminated the area for the briefest of seconds as the Pokemon came out of the Pokeball. Goldeen was named after its animal counterpart for the similarities that are shared between the two species. There are, however, and few differences. One of which is that Goldeen is mostly white with a few orange spots and an orange tail with white trim. Another stark difference was the horn that grew atop a Goldeen’s head and the full pink lips. Goldeen did a splash in the water and turned around to look at its master.

“You’re injured!” it said, astonished. The small feminine voice came from the Pokemon told Jade that she was being absent minded again.

“Sorry, I forgot to tell you what happened. But can we get off this island first?”

Goldeen fixed her with a stern glare. “You better; now get into this water and wrap your arms around my body.

Jade slowly walked into the clear water and felt goose bumps as her skin came into contact with the cool water. A shiver wracked her body as her body became fully submerged.

“It would be nice if this water was warm,” Jade grumbled.

Goldeen used her frilly tail to splash water on Jade’s face. ”It’s fine to me, now hurry up!”

“I’m going to eat you,” Jade said in mock outrage as she wrapped her arms around the Pokemon.

Goldeen laughed, a light sound that was melodious to the ears. “I’d like to see that. Now we’re off.”

“Head to the town over there, and don’t go too fast.”

The Pokemon’s tail and two fins were a blur as she sped her rider toward safety. The distance between the two landmasses closed rapidly due to the Pokemon’s speed; but when the duo were nearly to shore a sharp light to the right caused Goldeen to pull up short.

“Hold your breath!” she commanded and a split instant later the two had dived underwater. Jade frantically looked about and spotted a small eel like creature with a yellow strip on each side and beak shaped red lips. Jade’s eyes widen ever so slightly as Tynamo was an electric type that lived in water environments. Goldeen dodged to the side as another bolt of electricity shot by, lighting up the clear water. The Tynamo was not giving up the chase as it fired another Charge Beam shot. “You’re going to have to tread water for a moment while I deal with this problem,” Goldeen twittered lightly. Goldeen gave a burst and jumped into the air and fired an invisible ray of Supersonic at Tynamo who dodged the hastily flung attack. Jade let go midair and hit the water with a loud splash. She came up grasping for air and started to kick her good leg while weaving her arms through the water as she struggled to stay afloat. With her injured leg she could only tread water for about three minutes, Goldeen would have to be fairly quick.

The Tynamo also surfaced ten feet away from Goldeen and fixed it with a stern glare. “You will pay for intruding in my territory.”

“Then we’ll leave,” replied Goldeen.

“No!” the tinier Pokemon shouted. Its body began to glow a pale ochre and it rushed Goldeen with a Spark attack. Goldeen countered with a Waterfall attack. The two struck halfway, Goldeen surrounded by a shield of water and Tynamo with a shield of electricity. The resulting collision splashed water and repelled both Pokemon backward. Goldeen sustained less damage so she rebounded faster and charged Tynamo with her horn spinning rapidly as if it was a drill.

Although momentarily stunned, Tynamo responded with an attack of its own. Knowing it couldn’t dodge the attack in time it fired a Charge Beam, but instead of a beam it used a burst that caused Goldeen to close her eyes to avoid being blinded, causing her to veer slightly to the left. The waves from the Horn Drill attack died off when Goldeen ceased her attack.

“Take this!” Tynamo focused its energy and fired a wave of electricity in a radius of rippling yellow light.

Goldeen responded by using Agility to outspeed the attack then jumped in the air and fired a quick pulse of water to disrupt the attack as it neared Jade. Jade breathed a sigh of relief as the Thunder Wave would have paralyzed her and spelled her doom as her muscles would have spasmed and ceased to function.

“Leave her out of this!” Goldeen roared. The Pokemon poured all of her rage into a Megahorn attack. Her glowing horn struck Tynamo squarely in the side, hurling it through the water in a furrow. However, Tynamo was not to be outwitted; just as the attack hit it used Spark to hit Goldeen at the same moment, paralyzing Goldeen in the process.

“Now I have you!” Tynamo crowed as the painful electricity caused Goldeen’s muscle to spasm as another bout of pain wracked her body. It fired a last Charge Beam at Goldeen.

“You may think that, but watch this!” Goldeen channeled water underneath its body to push itself skyward with a Water Sprout. Atop the tower of water Goldeen fired a Water Pulse that caught Tynamo by surprise and buried it under a cascade of chilling water. Tynamo floated to the surface unconscious laying on its side.

“Use my Pokeball to catch it,” Goldeen panted. “Then we can release it when we get to shore.”

Jade nodded and threw the circular Pokeball at the dazed Tynamo. The ball sucked the Pokeman in with a flash of blood red light. Jade swam over to the floating Pokeball and placed it in a pocket. “Let’s get out of here before we get attacked again.”

The remaining yards to shore were surpassed without anymore danger, but the two had to stop twice due to the paralysis still affecting Goldeen. When they reached the dirt shore Jade crawled onto dry ground exhausted from the previous ordeal. It took a few moments to catch her breath but when she did, she released Tynamo, who glared at her then sped off with a huff. She recalled Goldeen, fashioned two more bandages from her clothing then made another crutch from a stick. By the time these two tasks were completed Jade’s clothing had dried from the sun. The mainland looked exactly like the island, trees and trees. The only good thing about the trees were they kept the sun off her; heat exhaustion would not be a good thing to get with her leg injury. As she set off for a trail located a mile away, that would lead her to the town, she remembered a similar situation like the current one that had taken place when she was a child.

She was young then, only eight at the time. She, her six year old brother, and father had gone on a camping trip in the mountains near her home in Seattle, Washington. The plan was the for the family to take a vacation, but her mother had been called off for an emergency surgery as she was a surgeon at Harborview, one of the biggest hospitals in the area. The family was going to be gone for one week while they explored the outdoors.

Everything was fine two days into the trip, but on the third day the three were out hiking when a sudden earthquake decimated the area and caused a local tsunami that was biggest in generations and left 20,000 dead, including her mother. The problem she faced was that a landslide caught her family while they were out hiking. Only the quick thinking of her father saved their lives. As it was, they spent two weeks trapped in ‘cave’ only five by five until a rescue team found them. Normally with the tsunami damage it would have took them longer to be reported missing much less organize a search. It was because of her father that they managed to get rescued in time. It was her father’s position in the military that caused the military to launch a search to find him and his family. It was an ordeal that left a mark on both her and her brother that would shape aspects of their lives. For one thing it strengthened the bonds between them as a family, both because surviving together and because of the loss of their mother.

The harrowing experience drove her to want to save lives like her mother, but she didn’t posses the temperament to study in a college to become a doctor like her mother; so she choose the path of her father and picked the military. In the military she could both save lives and take away those who did innocents harm.

Her brother had likewise joined the military, but he had done so because he wanted to be like his father but also because he was a trouble maker and after a semiserious charge a judge had told him that he either chose jail time or military. Ordinary he would have been sent to the jail, but their father called in some favors and gave his son an ultimatum. The story goes that he joined the military and was pursuing a career in it, much to the relief of her and he father.

While her brother had struggled with his adolescence, she had driven forward with a determined focus and threw herself into her military career with a drive that earned the admiration of her superiors who put her on the track to become an officer. The only problem was that since she had enlisted in the navy three years earlier not much in terms of conflict had happened and most of the time she was either on patrol or sitting around doing nothing.

These thoughts of both her childhood and the path to her current state kept Jade occupied until she reached the resort town. The resort was a beautiful town, built on a plain, it was now surrounded by gorgeous resort homes for those who could own one. Inside the city limits were the many businesses that kept the town going, spas, pools, gaming centers, hotel, casinos and anything one could think of. The place would normally house around fifty-thousand people depending on the time of the year but with the war Jade wasn’t sure if anybody would be around to help her.

The custom built homes outside the city were deserted and not to her surprise, the defenses to the homes were activated and she didn’t have the tools to shut down the energy fences that encircled the homes. She continued walking along the main roads into town until she spotted the skyscrapers of the city that housed the expensive businesses and could only be reached by sky lanes that were impossible to access except by vehicle.

It slowly became apparent when she reached the apartment section of the city that none were present when nobody answered her calls for help. Even with the place deserted, the beautiful blue and white buildings sparked in the sun and cast an ethereal beauty about the place that she couldn’t help but notice.

With her plans of finding someone shot to pieces, her only other option was to find a public communicator, otherwise she would be stuck here, as the closest city was sixty miles away. The best chance at a communicator would be at the plaza nearby, if there wasn’t one there then she was screwed. She hobbled through the apartments as fast as possible until she came to the plaza.


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Last edited by AmericanTreeFrog; 08-26-2011 at 04:32 AM.
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide


The plaza was the size of an airball court, roughly one hundred yards from the center was were the center ended. The center of the plaza was a giant fountain that spewed water from the two stone Dragonite statues. The plaza was made from a russet stone that contrasted well with the blue and white of the buildings. To the right were empty metal stalls from where vendors could sell their high quality custom wares. On the left side was a marketer’s paradise, five foot holograms of various mega corporations from which you could see their products or apply for a job. The two remaining sides were free of anything so that tourists or residents could mingle or move about freely. Jade released an audibly sigh when she saw a metal cube floating near the fountain that indicated a communicator. As she expected the machine was top of the line; so all she had to do was take the earpiece was from the gray cube. Next, because she didn’t have any money, she used the retinal scanner to identify her as military and open a channel. Try as she might she couldn’t raise fleet or any other army outpost. Public channels outside the military must have been restricted for emergency use only unless one had an expensive private line. She angrily flung the earpiece at the gray cube, which absorbed it and put it back in its proper place. The scenarios were racing through her mind of what her options were, not many were good.

“Can I help you?” the voice came from a man behind her.

She turned around to an elderly man dressed in a light blue flannel shirt and cream slacks. She took him to be around seventy. She looked into his face, deep lines met with kind brown eyes. Her knees almost buckled under the good news. “I need some help, my fighter was damaged and I crashed a few miles from here.”

The old man walked forward and reached an arm around to support her weight. “I have a car just across the plaza; let’s get you to my house where we can do something about your leg.” He removed the tan doolittle hat from his head to reveal whisps of thin white hair. He placed the hat on her head. “This will keep the sun from your eyes while we move. Now drink this, you must parched from all your walking.” He reached into a pocket and removed a small water bottle. “It’s not much but it’s better than nothing.”

She greedily drank the water from the bottle, in her rush she spilled some down her chin. She wiped the liquid from her chin and returned the bottle to the man. “Thank you greatly.”

The man was surprisingly strong for someone of his age as he practically carried her to his car. The car was a slate steel color with blue trim and emergency lights on the top. He gently laid her down on the soft upholstery of the back seat. He climbed into the front and turned the car on using a thumbprint. The empty dashboard lit up teal 3-D screens popped up with a steering wheel. He triggered the repulsers and deftly wheeled the floating craft into an empty lane. Jade drifted off to sleep from the smooth ride of the vehicle.

The smell of cooking food caused her to come awake from her slumber. The first thing she saw upon opening her eyes was a traditional wooden ceiling. Aroma of fried meat and potatoes caused her to sit, pushing the white blanket off her in the process. She was in a single bed in a simple styled room. There was a dresser upon which some photos of a smiling youngster sat. The room was fairly warm as the conditioner pumped hot air into the room. The door straight ahead was closed while the dresser was on the left and a closet on the right. She swing her feet off the bed, not feeling any pain in her leg. The floor had a soft fuzzy red rug which felt divine to her feet after hiking for many weary miles. She could hear the light sound of low playing music coming from the other room. She tried to walk toward the door but her left leg wouldn’t cooperate and bend. She hit the ground, eliciting a grunt. She pulled a stray strand of brown hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Instead of the bandages she had put on there was an artificial skin patch, covered by a nanomite repair bandage. Instead of her normal clothing she had a pair of tan shorts and a white blouse. The blouse was a little tight but the shorts fit right. The door swung open and the man who rescued her walked in with a tray and food on it. He set the try on the dresser and turned his attention to her. His eyes twinkled in merriment.

“I’m afraid you will not have the use of the leg until tomorrow morning. Your wounded had become infected so my wife had to remove some infected tissue then flush the wounded. We naturally had to numb the leg while we worked on it and that’s why you can’t walk right now.” He helped her back into the bed and covered her up, then placed a bed tray on her lap. “I’ve prepared you a soup of hot mushroom soup harvested from my own Paras and some rolls to along with it. You have to recover your strength before you can do anything.

Jade leaned her head against a pillow and sighed. “Thank you,” she said opening her eyes and meeting his gaze. “Thank you for all that you have done. I don’t have any money on me but I can repay you for your services.”

He placed a weathered hand on her shoulder. “I will have none of that young lady. I have chosen to do this with no thought of reward.”

Jade lowered her head. “Excuse me, I meant no offense I just want to show you how grateful I am.”

“You have done that enough. I’m going to get you some water so you can eat and rest.” He left the room then returned with the water and instructed her that when she was done to place the tray on the floor and he would come retrieve it later. The soup was delicious, the liquid quickly warming her insides when she drank it. The rolls were light and fluffy, with Miltank butter for flavor.

After the nice meal Jade placed the tray on the floor, got comfortable then slowly drifted off to sleep. The experience of today and yesterday drifting off into the past and making way for a new day.

The time with the old man and his wife passed slowly for Jade as she completed her recovery. Her depressed mood had deepened when word reached them at the battle for the space above Earth had been lost. The shock of the human losses hit her especially hard as she had many friends the fleet. Her squadron had been wiped out along with the fleet she was a part of. When the Techlon began their invasion of the Earth and dropships began to dot the sky, Jade and the couple made for the city of Edmonton to the east. It took them better part of a day to reach the fortified city. Jade was whisked off to a military facility to get debriefed then to be transported to a hospital. The elderly man was drafted into a police volunteer unit and his wife was assigned to a hospital.

Two days later Jade was transferred to a injury convoy leaving the city for Calgary not too many miles away. The convoy was halfway there when it ran into a Techlon division moving to siege Edmonton. The soldier and Pokemon guarding caravan were slain followed by anybody unable to move own their own power, meaning that only thirty survived the one-sided battle. Four weeks later Jade was deposited in this facility after witnessing the fall of Edmonton, Calgary, and Boise.


Current{2185}

Shepard and his group of commandos had successfully avoiding being detected by the Techlon thus far. The old rail track was long overgrown by vegetation so the team had no problem hiding in it as they followed the track to the city walls.

Trains used to be in high demand, but after the Moon Wars and sustained flight had been achieved, for vehicles the cost of shipping over ground became too much as skylanes became more popular and a faster means of travel. In the year of 2059 the U.S. government ordered that all railways be put out of commission to make way for more productive infrastructure growth but the Techlon event put the plan on the backburner as the resources were used elsewhere. This particular railway ran to the city from which it entered through an underground tunnel on the east side of the city. Shepard called a halt when the group reached the tunnel entrance. The opening arch that said, ‘Welcome to Boise!’ had collapsed and covered half the entrance while foliage had grown up and around the sides to form a curtain of plant life.

“Septimus, Hannibal, you two scout the forward position. Snipers move forward and cover them; everyone else be alert,” Shepard ordered.

Hannibal slunk off to the right while Septimus disappeared in the foliage to the left. The two would circle around the entrance and meet in the middle before back tracking to the position of the team. The two completed the sweep without running into any Techlon patrols or sensors and retuned to the group safely. Shepard indicated to the team that would enter the tunnel single file and were not to fire unless fired upon. Cinccino and Crobat would be called forth to work a sonar for the team. Crobat would fire a sound wave and Cinccino would listen for any objects that it came into contact with as it had superior hearing than Crobat.

The scarf Pokemon called Cinccino was called forth by Roger while Charlie called forth his Crobat. Like the name suggested, Crobat were of bat descent but unlike their animal counterparts Crobat were quite large, a light purple hue, had four wings, and a round trunk with no head. Crobat flicked its small rounded ears and used its small legs to grip the shoulder of Charlie. It stretched the two smaller wings near its legs and yawned before fixing Charlie with its yellow eyes.

“You know I hate Pokeballs. Can’t we all be civilized?”

“You know that the Techlon have a tendency to chase any Pokemon they see, so the risk is too high. Besides you don’t have chameleons to wear.”

Crobat snorted lightly. “Then make some, now give me a headset and tell me what I’m to do.”

Charlie laid out the plan to both the Pokemon and gave them the engagement rules. The Pokemon member of the elite group entered the dark tunnel first; Cinncino hopping from rock to rock and Crobat flying to top of the tunnel. The tunnel tracks had long ago rusted away or were torn up. Explosions from the battle had caused sections of the tunnel roof to collapse and block portions of the tunnel. The human members entered the tunnel single file with weapons raised and nightvision enabled on their HUDs.

Car sized trunks of stone and concrete were everywhere blocking multiple section of the tunnel at once. Thanks to Cinncino and Crobat the team was able to carve a path through the stone by finding the best routes around or over the stone. The going was very slow and visibility not that great as the more they moved the more settled dirt and dust was thrown into the air. Their helmets were able to filter the dirt and other foreign particles out, but the SF Pokemon didn’t have the luxury. The effect was even greater on Crobat whose sound rays were affected by the particles and confusing Cincinno as it tried to locate objects. Thirty minutes into the tiring break the team had to call a halt when the Pokemon signaled slow progress.

“Careful team. I’m picking up two Pokemon twenty yards ahead of us; it looks like they’re moving some stones around looking for something,” Cinncino said over its commo unit.

“Give me their dimensions,” replied Charlie.

“The first one is a couple inches over three feet and round. It has a small head with a horn jutting toward the rear; two short, solid legs; and two bulky arms.”

Charlie programed the information into his wrist computer. “Seventy percent likelihood of it being a Golett.”

“The second Pokemon is way shorter and ball shaped. Seems to have two large ears on the sides of its head.”

“Computer says not enough variables present to get an identification,” Charlie told the group.

“I’ll take this battle,” Rico stepped forward. “Magnemite and Machop come forth. Magnemite, use Electro Ball and splash some light on this field. Machop, I want you to focus your energy.”

While Machop focused and channeled its energy to be used for its moves, Magnemite floated forward and fired a ball of brilliant light at the ceiling where it hovered. The first Pokemon was Golett. The ground and ghost Pokemon turned to stare at the SF with its luminous yellow eyes. The teal, stone-like skin of Golett flashed a dark gray as it used Iron Defense to boost its stats. The other foreign Pokemon was a Cottonee. Cottonee were a grass type Pokemon that resembled live cotton balls with yellow-red eyes and green ears that extended from its head. The small Pokemon started to bounce up and down before hopping onto Goletts back, using the Helping Hand move to booster the attacks of its partner.

The small gray steel ball called Magnemite pointed its two side magnets at the ground as it reversed the polarity of the earth around the battlefield. Machop’s right fist glowed white as it jumped from rock to rock to attack Cottonee with a Karate Chop. The attack would have connected had not Golett used Mega Punch to counter with an attack of its own. Machop somersaulted backward and clutched at its gray skin where the attack landed. The sienna colored bone ridges on Machop head glowed silver as it used the Foresight move.

“Magnemite, use Mirror Shot.”

While Machop tried to use its move, Magnemite conjured up a silver mirror and fired an orb of silver energy at Golett. The attack hit Golett, who was charging Machop, but failed to slow it down as its right arm smashed into Machop. The Hammer Arm attack did some good damage to Machop but at the cost of lowering the speed of its user.

With its fighting moves now able to hit Golett Machop jumped forward, ready to use a Revenge attack. Cottonee jumped off Golett’s back and fired a gust of yellow powder at Machop to paralyze it with Stun Spore. The attack almost connected with Machop but Magnemite moved forward and took the attack. The electric Pokemon’s single eye shut as the attack stopped its muscles from responding. The sacrifice of Magnemite allowed the powerful Revenge attack to hit Golett. Golett stumbled back from the impact and swung its own fist in a Mega Punch. Machop ducked and made to strike back when Shepard voice rang out.

“All right! I’ve had enough of this mess! Magnemite, Machop back down,” Shepard all but roared. He switched his look to the other two Pokemon. “You two can knock it off too or I’ll end both of you.” He pointed his rifle at them to illustrate his point.

“We were attacked first,” said the Golett. He had a deep voice for a youngster.

“You shouldn’t be down here. What are you doing here?” Shepard barked.

The Cottonee spoke up. “Our parents were captured by some Techlon a week ago and brought to a facility here and we’re going to get them out.” For a small Pokemon its voice held the ring of determination.

“You do realize that is a suicide mission,” said Charlie.

“We don’t care, they are our parents.”

“We’ll we’re going there anyway, you can join us.”

Golett brightened up. “Really? That would be great.”

“I’d rather have you with me where I can keep an eye on you instead of you running around potentially causing trouble for me and my men. Charlie, secure them in Pokeballs; Rico, have Magnemite get rid of the light.”

Charlie called the two Pokemon into two empty balls while Rico had his Pokemon plunge the tunnel back into complete darkness.

“Charlie, let me know when you have patched Golett and Cottonee into your computer,” said Shepard, referring to the technology that allowed human solders to patch a Pokeball into their computer, allowing for both human and Pokemon to communicate and allowing the Pokemon to see the situation through human eyes. This technology wasn’t available to civilians or any soldiers, only elite forces were allowed to use the technology.

“Patched in and receiving information now. There goal was to break through this wall because on the other side is a sewer line that runs below the facility. From there they planned to enter the facility through the kitchen area. We also have a rough diagram of the place.”

“How did they get that?”

Cottonee used Cotton Spore near a vent so that the spores were sucked in and flung about the facility. From there it could sense how each Spore moved about and got a rough look of what the place resembles.”

“Smart Pokemon.” Arteus’s voice showed his admiration for the move.

“It gives us a way in and saves us time on recon. I’ll get this done immediately. Everyone step back,” commanded Shepard. “Excadrill, you can come out now.”

Excadrill were a brown mole Pokemon with crimson blotches on its stomach. The Pokemon stretched the metal drills on each arm and flexed its head drill. “Let’s get this done.” The Pokemon dug into the ground with a vigor born from a life meant to be underground. Two minutes later Excadrill had breached the concrete wall around the sewer line and the team was in ankle high water.

“This is some foul $hi7.” Hannibal didn’t sugar coat stuff.

“We need to travel eighty yards ahead and we’ll come to a grate. This will be provide access to the restroom area off the kitchen storage.”

“Let’s do it, make sure weapons are loaded and grenades ready. Charlie, have your system create a synthetic diagram of this place with the information we have, let the computer program any dark spots.”

“Done.”

The SF tried to get out of the sewer line as quickly as possible because the stench was overwhelming. Even with the filters the smell was able to penetrate. Fecal matter, urine, stale air, organic matter, and body parts combined to make a stench that would have killed anything that didn’t have a breathing apparatus.

The grate was approximately where Charlie said it would be. The only problem was that it was fifteen feet above their heads attacked to the stone arch ceiling.

“I really wish this job was easier sometimes,” Roger said, sighing.

“Don’t worry, come forth Charizard.” Hannibal called forth his first and most powerful Pokemon. The flame tip on Charizard’s tail bathed the sewer in light. The orange skin of Charizard stood out against the pale rock of the tunnel. It stretched its two back wings and looked at the grate above its horned head.

“I’m going to melt this grate then pick each of you up and place you in there,” the booming voice of Charizard echoed down the tunnel. It lifted a head, opened its jaws, and called forth the burning blaze that swirled inside it. The scorching flame quickly melted the metal until nothing remained. The fire Pokemon then used its claws to form a foothold for the soldiers. Then he gently lifted them past the hole and into the facility.

Sure enough the entrance lead into a rundown human bathroom. They came up at the back of the restroom behind some stalls. The tile on the floor had long ago faded from brown to an ugly gray-white mix, the stall doors were missing, and the porcelain urinals and sinks had been smashed to pieces.

“A hallway is just beyond here, it will lead to a storage room on the right and a kitchen to the front. We check the storage room first.” Shepard moved to the point position and readied his weapon. He placed a glove-clad hand on the door knob and slowly twisted and pushed it open. So the battle began.

The SF had three advantages on their side when they attacked. One, the Techlon didn’t have Pokemon; two, it was a surprise attack; third, the SF worked best at guerilla and close quarters fighting.
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Last edited by AmericanTreeFrog; 08-26-2011 at 04:34 AM.
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  #10  
Old 06-03-2011, 11:19 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Prison Cells

Jade came awake with a startle as the sounds of plasma weapons and Pokemon cries reached her ears. The itch of battle that all warriors feel started to build up in her that ignited the spirit within that had kept her alive all this time. She moved to the shield covering her cell entrance and tried to look toward where the muffled sounds were coming from.


SF Team

The sweeping of the facility was a fast paced action. The team didn’t bother to check every room, just the ones that were directly in front of them on the way to the prison cells before heading to the armory. The team avoided any prolonged fire fight, they would toss a grenade and move pass. This prevented the team from being encircled and pinned down. The one time they were surrounded the Charizard had melted a hole through a wall and they went through that and continued forward.

“Charizard, use Sandstorm. Ampharos, use Shock Wave!” Shepard ordered the Pokemon as the team tried to hack the prison lobby door.

Charizard summoned the move that it had learned from its friend Macargo and released a windstorm of sand and dirt that quickly covered the entire room and prevented the Techlon for firing for fear of hitting their own men. Ampharos slammed its tail on the ground and sent a wave of electricity along the floor that shocked any Techlon that came into contact with the attack.

The lobby door opened with a hiss and the humans and Pokemon piled into the wide hallway and began to pour fire at the Techlon with renewed intensity. The team took up positions on the sides of the hallways and next to empty cells, from where they could pour fire at the Techlon with good cover.

Charlie moved to the rear of the group. “I need four on me to sweep these cells.” Roger, Psia, Hannibal and Tristan came over with an Alakazam and Skuntank. “Any Pokemon you see send them to the back to rest while the team moves down here, do the same with any Pokemon. Anybody that needs help give them the help.”

The long hallway stretched for about fifty yards with cells on either end before stopping at a door. The blue glow from the plasma shields over the occupied cell door cast an erie glow along the floor tile. Charlie noticed with a twinge of sadness that of the hundreds of cells, only about twenty were occupied. He knew that one didn’t just have this many cells without having the need for them. The things that must have happened at this facility twisted his stomach into knots. The first cell they came across contained Machamp that was missing an arm and some of its heads ridges. This wasn’t the exception either, as they came across more cells with Pokemon the rage the humans felt built up at the thought of what Earth’s inhabitants had to endure at the hands of the Techlon.

The four were soon at the last four cells and the first two contained a dead Aron and a Rotom. Rotom was surrounded by a jello like substance that inhibited the ghost and electric powers of the powerful Rotom. The small orange head of Rotom was facing skyward with its crystal blue eyes staring into nothing. Charlie aimed his rifle at the substance encasing Rotom and melted it using fire from his Plasma rifle. The body/head of Rotom floated to the ground as the blue glow noticeably absent from it began to return. When the blue bolts of energy appeared on either side of Rotom that Pokemon shot up and started at the SF before firing a Shadow Ball at the team. Skunktank jumped in the way and took the attack while Alakazam quickly set up an invisible light Screen.

“It must be confused! Hit it with Encore, Alakazam,” commanded Tristan, the partner of Alakazam.

The Alakazam moved to initiate the attack that would have effectively crippled Rotom, but Rotom dodged by using Double Team, creating five copies of itself. Rotom fired a yellow ball of electric energy at Alakazam, but the psychic Pokemon used a Psychic attack to redirect the attack at the ceiling, causing a mini detonation with the result of the Double Team to falter and reveal the true form of Rotom. Using its spoons, Alakazam conjured a dark purple orb of rippling energy that it fired at Rotom. The Rotom conjured up a circle diagram of its own, as it used a Hex attack to capture the attack and fling at back at Alakazam. Even with Light Screen, Alakazam was blown past the door and into the hallway where it now had to dodge plasma bolts as well as attacks. A silver wind of energy started to spring up from Rotom’s pointed head as it used an Ominous Wind attack.

“Recharge with Recover.” Knowing Alakazam would suffer some strong damage by using Recover Alakazam would remain at roughly the same health after the Ominous Wind. But to the surprise of the SF the body of Rotom began to glow a luminous white as the ghost Pokemon gained a stat boost from the taxing attack it had just used. Because of its new speed Rotom was able to launch a fast Shadow Ball that ko’ed Alakazam before it had a chance to defend itself.

“Skunktank, charge in with Night Slash.”

The brown striped purple Pokemon charged into battle and slashed at Rotom with its glowing claws. Rotom was caught off guard by the attack and sustained some heavy damage. The Rotom quickly recovered and created a link between the two Pokemon. Skunktank realized too late that Rotom had created a life link between the two and was using Pain Split. All the damage Rotom had obtained transferred to poison Pokemon and brought it to the ground as pain coursed through its body.

“Haze.”

Using some its remaining strength Skunktank coughed up a dark cloud that obscured the hallway and erased any stats the Rotom had obtained. Skunktank saw its opportunity when Rotom started to fire random Electric Balls, and it hurled its body at Rotom using a Crunch attack. The two hit the tiled floor hard with Skuntank atop the unconscious Rotom. The four SF were picking up Rotom when Shepard came charging down the hall.

“Hurry up, we’re falling back; the Techlon are bring some heavy weapons up. Have you got the cells cleared?”

“All but that one, there’s a human in it according to the records.”

“I’ll check, get the Pokemon up and ready to move.” Shepard rolled up his sleeves and helmet faceplate so the prisoner could see human parts instead of bodiless voice coming from nowhere. He had just arrived at the cell door, with plasma bolts whizzing past him, and made to open the door when the human spoke.

“Father?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Character count: 179k+

Author's notes:
1) If you were expecting me to have Pokemon battling each other you were probably disappointed. To go along with the plot lines it would be hard to actually fit that many Pokemon into a battle frame.

2) You may have noticed that Pokemon weren't the center stage in this story, because to be realistic, they wouldn't be so I tried to reflect that here.

3) If you spot any grammar errors, don't tell to me to proofread as I've read each post at least four times, with the later ones having been read upwards of ten.


Only Open Once Grade has been Written
Spoiler:
4) If by chance I don't get mon here is the order of importance: Cottonee -> Litwick -> Magnemite -> Golett -> Rotom -> Tynamo -> Minncino
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Last edited by AmericanTreeFrog; 08-26-2011 at 04:34 AM.
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  #11  
Old 07-01-2011, 05:12 AM
Kai-Mei Offline
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Uh. So. As a joke, I said I'd claim this if no one else did before I got back from vacation. Kinda.

WHADDYA KNOW.

tl;dr... I guess I'll claim this... AREN'T I GOOD AT STARTING THINGS OFF SLOWLY.... Grade will hopefully be up within a few weeks, assuming I don't suck more at grading than I thought I did.

((If you want someone more, say... qualified, I'll be glad to retract my claim. I'd totally understand. JUST DON'T WAIT UNTIL I'M ALMOST DONE.))
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  #12  
Old 07-19-2011, 05:04 AM
Kai-Mei Offline
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

The divides for these posts aren't exactly 20K, btw-- I just wanted to keep my section breaks intact. It's three posts no matter how you cut it... and I was trying to keep it down to two, goshdarnit... I tried to keep things as short as possible so that people wouldn't kill me with fish sticks. D: LET'S DO THIS?
Okay, so this grade was a bit more massive than I had intended. DO NOT BE AFRAID.
Oh, and this is a massive story, you’re an experienced writer, and this story is massive. In case I didn’t mention that already. HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY GO WRONG? O.O

Introduction: So… let’s get this started. An introduction is typically among the most crucial parts of your story, so you’ve got to be pretty careful with how it turns out. Arguably, your first sentence is going to be the most important part of your introduction, if not your entire story. Yours looks like this:
Quote:
The year is 2080; humanity has begun exploration of space after experiencing over six decades of strife and warfare.
One of the first things that I notice is how this sentence is in present tense. Present tense certainly isn’t bad for a story; it’s not common, but it can be devastatingly effective when used correctly. The strange thing, though, is that your next sentence, as do the next two thousand or so sentences, is in the past tense. The change is jarring, and I did spend a couple of sentences trying to figure out the significance of the switch (I couldn’t find one D:). Just as a short reminder, be sure to keep your tenses the same.
However, in the grander scheme of things, your introduction certainly drew me in. You describe a whole seventy or so years of strife and warfare that haven’t even happened, and you’ve got me just waiting for some really great global strife going on here, with maybe a slight bit of space exploration.
And that, essentially, is the problem with your introduction.
While you do a great job of recapping the events of the seventy years between now and the time frame of your story, the transition from your recap to the rest of the story is awkward. A lot of the events that you describe, such as the fall of the United Nations and the destruction of Russia or China, play absolutely no part in the next 170K characters of story that you plan out. If I was to put your story in a nutshell, it’d be pretty much “aliens invade earth; earthlings are pissed; earthlings fight back”. If anything, the earthlings in question are working together as a species to get their planet back from the Techlon (with some help from Pokémon), not locked in war.
If none of this makes sense, look at it this way: the first five thousand characters of your story are focused on war and conflict between varying countries and factions in the world. The next one hundred seventy thousand characters focus on how these varying factions unite against a common enemy and ultimately succeed. As it is, there’s a jarring difference between the introduction and the body of your story, which doesn’t help the flow at all. Your introduction should invoke interest, like it did, but it needs to invoke interest into the rest of your story, meaning that they should make sense together.

Standing alone, your introduction is adequate. It wasn’t particularly riveting, but you mentioned enough about war and discord to keep me reading (then again, I do have a soft spot for potential violence in fanfiction… perhaps that’s just me). However, when you compare your introduction to the rest of your story, it really doesn’t fit. The general theme to your introduction feels like chaos; the general theme to your story is how the humans unite. You have two very conflicting concepts between your introduction and your story, and your introduction really doesn’t seem to suit the body of your story. I’m not even sure how much this general recap contributed to the story; in my opinion, you could have started after the “Present Day (2080)” bit and been just fine with a few modifications. When I read the rest of your story without the first five thousand characters, I wonder why you have the introduction in the first place. Fricking aliens are taking over the planet, and everything takes place in either North America or space. Said fricking aliens are going to be killing people, torturing survivors, and ending life as we know it. Why should we care about the political state of China? While your introduction was intriguing enough, it really didn’t have that much else in common with the rest of your story. KEEP THAT IN MIND. A LOT.

And finally, there’s this one little hitch in the last bit of your introduction:
Quote:
Three years later in the year 2060 humanity was pushing deeper into space in the quest to find other worlds.
Okay, so the year seems to be 2060, because your introduction is pretty much rolling to a close. Fair enough.
Quote:
2080(Present Day) (1600)
Uh… so where’d the other twenty years go? You’ve given us a blow-by-blow of the other fifty non-existent years… do you have something against the 2070’s? XD

Bear in mind, though, that you have to keep your introduction catchy and relevant to the rest of your story in regards to setting and characters. You’ve got the catchy bit down pretty well, what with the warfare and strife and whatnot, but you really have to work on keeping your introduction linked to the rest of your story. Your introduction drew me into the story, yes, but it was inherently the wrong story. LOOK OUT FOR THAT, M’KAY?

Plot: Your plot was pretty entertaining, and it was also a refreshing twist from the average trainer-fic. However, beyond that, it seemed really similar to a lot of alien invasion movies that exist: strange aliens attempt to take over; they are (eventually, I hope, lol) thwarted. You did, however, have nice little twists such as Jade’s finding of her father that gave the story a much more personal feel. Beyond that, though, the Pokémon did feel a little forced in to the plot; a lot of them, such as Tynamo, really felt like they were only thrown in there because you wanted to capture them at some point. =X
However, you did create a good plot that garnered attention and made for a good read. It did, at least, keep me reading your story until the end… and seeing as this thing is a fricking novel (I think; I’m not familiar with the exact specifications), that’s a pretty large accomplishment. So in general, your plot was okay. Ish.

I did, however, find the repeated time skips (two weeks later; three years later; eighteen hours later, and so on…) to be really distracting. I used to keep track of them as best as I could and try to realize what year it was, but I eventually ended up just giving up because it got pretty distracting. I understand that you have to have timeskips because travels in space take ages (albeit with current, not 2080 technology).

I’m curious, though, to know if your story has any relation to that submarine movie regarding the Russian’s nuclear takeover… coincidentally called Crimson Tide. XD

Also, you reported early on that Jade was “missing in action”. In her little backstory bit, though (her memories while in Techlon prison), she kinda reported herself back into the army… odds are that someone would have told her commanding officer that she wasn’t, say… dead or something, you know? XD
Just remember, minor plot holes like these often detract from the plot – when things don’t make sense, the reader gets focused less on the plot and more on the errors… luckily for you, though, you didn’t really have any other plot holes that I noticed. ^.^

However, you had a lot of characters that just seemed to appear in the story for no apparent reason before vanishing. A good example of such a character would be, say… Beck, who appears for three paragraphs, announces she has cancer, and then apparently dies, never to be heard of again. It’s kinda unnerving, especially when you have a bunch of characters like that. For instance, I don’t think we ever met the Mismagius that you mentioned earlier, or the Galvantula (who had a surprisingly large role with the rebel Pokémon despite only being mentioned for all of seven times). Sometimes, having so many extraneous characters (although quite amusing to write, I must admit) really distracts from the integrity of the story, especially in one this long: it’s already hard enough to keep the reader’s attentions for such an incredibly long time read, and it makes it worse as you add a bunch of characters…

Speaking of characters, there was one group in particular that didn’t really receive a good motive, for all that they did. You depict the Techlons as this giant group of evil purple-ish aliens that slowly creep across the Solar System, reaching the Moon and ultimately the Earth. They then proceed to destroy and/or torture any human thing in sight, instate a Pokémon Breeding Pokémon (SOLACEON DAYCARE…), and basically just act like a bunch of jerks. However, the Techlons didn’t really have any reason to do anything that they did, aside from the basic “they’re evil” excuse. You did mention that this was a chapter series, but your villain’s motives do have to be explained to make the story more thrilling. While having an entirely evil villain with no reason for his/her actions is amusing and simple to write, said villain often comes across as flat, unless you can do it extreeeeemely well (the only example I can think of is the Joker from The Dark Knight… and face it, that guy was epic), which is also extreeeeemely hard. Often, you’ll find that having villains with flat motives don’t really make good villain’s—even in real life, the villains almost always have as good of a reason for their war as the heroes do, and sometimes better. Having villains with which the readers can connect make the antagonists more understandable, and it’s not a bad idea to give the Techlons a reason for their evil rampage. Even if they just want to have a scientific understanding of a couple hundred foreign races, or if they have to harness human bioelectrical energy as fuel cells for their robot forms (LOOK AT ME, REFERENCING SCI-FI THAT ISN’T STAR WARS… FOR NOW), the Techlons could really use a reason for their cold-hearted destruction of the human race.
I’m not asking you to make your giant, spiky, purple aliens into sympathy worthy group of misunderstood extraterrestrials (E.T. PHONE HOOOOMMMME…), but even some minor justification for the Techlon’s behavior would really help out your plot.

Detail: You were mostly set on your description. Kinda. In most places, such as the Pokémon battles, you had your details down well enough that I can’t complain, although I think there could be a bit of room for more in some places.

In others, though, you really could have beefed it up a bit. A lot of the technology and weapons that you describe don’t actually exist yet, so you’re really allowed free reign with the description here. In fact, you probably should focus on the details a lot more here, if only because the stuff you’re describing doesn’t actually exist. I mean, you’re working with giant plasma cannons and stuff like that… take some time to describe what they look like, how the shots go, and so on. All I really know about these mythical plasma cannons is that they have little cartridges and they seem pretty heavy. And since plasma cannons don’t exist anywhere in the modern world… the rest is up to you. Let your imagination run nuts with these kinds of things, and then try to describe them as best as you can without completely overwhelming the reader.

Speaking of overwhelming (LOOK AT THAT AWESOME SEGUE AND FEAR), there were a few places in which you had a massive block ‘o text ‘o detail-ish stuff that you could have polished up on. Mostly, the large chunks of text that followed the end of almost every space battle that you had:
Quote:
…four-hundred and six fighters, sixty-two cruisers, 10,000 civilians, and 30,000 soldiers, five dreadnoughts, and seventeen destroyers… Fifty dreadnoughts, three-hundred and forty four light and medium cruisers, two-hundred and forty two destroyers, two-thousand enemy fighters, and 587,546…forty-two dreadnoughts, one-hundred destroyers, one-hundred and forty-seven cruisers, twelve hundred fighters, and 190,000 dead.
WOW. Yes, we promote detail in ficwriting… but this was definitely too much. We don’t need to know the exact number of downed soldiers that you’ve got here, (FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY SEVEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED FORTY SIX) let alone the other stuff. I spent a lot of time trying to see if the numbers were symbolic, or if you had a code in the seemingly random data, or if there was even a point to it all. It really felt like you were just spewing numbers at me for no reason, and the detail-ish stuff that you had was waaaaay too much. In the long term, we really don’t care if it was 242 or 243 destroyers that were lost on whatever side it was, or if it was 147 cruisers or dreadnoughts that went boom. What we really want to know is how the battle went. This block of detail kinda canceled out everything else that you had done, and it was pretty unappealing. Be careful not to overdo the detail like that… o.O

I would, however, like to commend you on your use of jargon. Words like beamspace, klaxon, and comm units help set your space-y mood, but you have to be careful when using them—I had to use a combination of Wikipedia and downright asking you to learn that XO did not refer to that spicy Chinese sauce, and that klaxons were the things that made the “AWOOOGA” sounds. You had a great start with the words, but you should probably explain them slightly in passing so that folks like me have a clue what’s going on… even a short bit like “the Rhyperior Executive Officer, or XO for short, did all the cool stuff with his horn, etc etc”. That way, you’d get your mood of a spaceship across without confusing less well-versed readers such as myself. ^.^

Um, as a final note, I’d like to look at your section breaks for a minor detail thing. I can’t really lecture you on the passage of time (although, from a quick glance, at your story spans at least three years, if not more…), but the whole “three years later” seems unofficial and out of place… it feels like you could really build your mood better if you had things like “1700 hours 34580” (the military time/Julian date method of writing 5:00 pm on December 11th, 2080), or some sort of combination thing. You should probably do whatever feels best to you—remember, little details like these really help build up your mood and set the tone of your story.

The key to detail is to use it in the right amounts. Sometimes, you use it far too often for the story’s good, and sometimes you don’t use it enough. Be sure to use your prose, but don’t paint it purple. Keep it in the right amounts, and you’ll be golden. ^.^
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  #13  
Old 07-19-2011, 05:12 AM
Kai-Mei Offline
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Grammar: From your author’s note, it looks like you spent a lot of time proofreading. Four times is nuts, and ten is… uh, wow. Luckily for you, I think it paid off—I couldn’t find that many typos in it. There were a few (and by a few I mean I could count them on two hands and some toes), yes, but for a story of this magnitude, you’ve got the number low enough that I don’t have to complain. They’re all pretty small, with things like “which enabled South Korea to invaded” ‘n stuff like that, but nothing too groundbreaking. I’m certainly not going to suggest that you proofread (XD) for a fifth/eleventh time, because little typos like that spread across so much text honestly isn’t that bad. (Although, if they really do bug you, you could find a kind friend who doesn’t mind reading a small novel. XD Or, as another suggestion, you could read from the end of the story to the beginning, one sentence at a time, so that you don’t accidentally get absorbed in your plot or find yourself skipping over sentences. It’ll certainly be time-consuming, but if you proofread for ten times… you could just make on of the times the backwards bit. OR SOMETHING). Tl;dr: nice job. ^.^

HOWEVER, I got some grammatical stuff for you to work on. These didn’t look like typos to me; in fact, they’re kinda just commas’ being pricks and some other whiz.

First off, we’ll start with prepositional phrases. I’m not sure if you know what a preposition is (I don’t mean to sound condescending; ‘s just that grammatical jargon often goes over people’s heads), but it’s basically a word that describes the location (preposition, geddit? XD) of an object, like across/at/by/in/out/under, and so forth. A simple (but occasionally inaccurate) way is to know that a preposition fits in the sentence “the ball went _____ the street”. Once you’ve got your preposition, the words that follow (not all of them, just the words in the phrase: in this instance, where the ball goes) become part of the prepositional phrase.
You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. Prepositional phrases have special punctuation when used in the beginning of the sentence (and occasionally, in other places, too. ISN’T GRAMMAR FUN?). When a prepositional phrase is used to start of a sentence, such as in:
Quote:
(In his excitement) he failed to see a second, much larger group, land on the surface of the planet.
(I’ve used parenthesis to mark the location of the prepositional phrase, out of habit and for convenience’s sake)
…you wouldn’t need a comma to offset the prepositional phrase from the rest of the sentence. You can have a comma after it if you feel so inclined, so it would read as:
In his excitement, he failed to see…
This comma, however, is purely stylistic. Whether you use it your way or with the comma inserted is actually of no consequence; you can use whichever one looks and feels better to you. However, when you have two or more prepositional phrases at the beginning of a sentence, you do need to have a comma to separate the two phrases from the rest. So instead of:
Quote:
(In the year) (of 2035) China launched an attack against a U.S. army base…
You would have to write it as:
In the year of 2035, China launched an attack…
And so on and so forth. It looks like it’s not very important, but ‘s kinda a comma rule that you’ve got to be aware of and follow. SO LOOK OUT FOR IT.

Well, we’re just hitting up all of the phrases, now. Welcome to the appositive phrase. XD
In essence, an appositive or appositive phrase is a word or phrase of words (respectively) that modify a previously named noun. Sooooo… EXAMPLE TIME. It’s underlined this time.
Quote:
The crown loyalists as they were later called in history tried to grab more power than was deemed by the American constitution.
You can see that your noun in this sentence is “crown loyalists” (I’m treating it as a single unit. BAHA). The crown loyalists are being modified by the phrase “as they were later called in history”, which is your appositive phrase.
And, once again, this phrase has special comma rules associated with it. In this case, we get to examine whether the appositive phrase you have is essential or nonessential. It’s a lot simpler than it sounds: basically, you just have to determine whether your appositive phrase is vital to your understanding of the noun.
So if you’ve got something like:
Fred’s friend George walked to the store.
The appositive is essential, because we’re going to assume that Fred is a pretty cool guy who doesn’t afraid of anything has more than one friend, meaning that we don’t know which of Fred’s friends is being mentioned in this sentence. Therefore, the appositive is essential, meaning you should not separate it from the sentence with a pair of commas.
However, if it’s something like:
Fred’s best friend, George, walked to the store.
The word “best” changes things, because it is implied that Fred would only have one best friend, that being George. Since there’s only one possible outcome, George becomes nonessential, meaning that you should separate it using commas on either side.
So, to take it back to the original example, “as they were later called in history” is a nonessential phrase, because it’s not needed to define the crown loyalists. So, you should make it and other nonessential phrases look something like:
The crown loyalists, as they were later called in history, tried to grab more power than was deemed by the American constitution.
Gah, it basically looks like another one of those comma rules that no one follows but everyone gets to point out. DON’T YOU DARE LET ME DOWN. XD

Now, we’ll move away from phrases for now and dive into the wonderful world of colons. No, not the intestinal stuff. GRAMMAR TIME. So, with that in mind, we’ll be looking at… “:”.
A colon is a pretty simple thing, although it often looks just as intimidating to use as a semicolon, which you’ve done quite well. I dunno. Maybe that’s just me. Essentially, a colon is used to express the words “that is” when you’re trying to clarify something.
If that made no sense (I’m reading it over and it really look like it), here’s an example to look at:
AHAHAHA, SEE? The colon 52 letters and two punctuation marks ago was used to clarify word example with the phrase that followed by using this sentence.
And for an example that actually comes from your story:
Quote:
Now, only three super powers remained Germany, USA, and Japan.
Notice how the transition from “remained” and your list of countries seems a little bit jarring? If you add a colon, though, it ends up looking a lot smoother, like so:
Now, only three super powers remained: Germany, USA, and Japan.

You do seem to have your paragraphing down, but there were a few places where you just have BLOCK O’ TEXT screaming at me. Litwick vs Bannete, Psia’s infiltration of the Techlon’s computer system, and almost every paragraph in the later half of the story involving Jade are the major ones that come to mind. It’s certainly not bad, but it gets a bit painful on the eyes to see that. Remember to start a new paragraph every time a new character says or does something (for example, you’d have a new paragraph at every turn of the Litwick v Bannete part), and as your subject changes. For example, in one of the super-massive-Jade paragraphs, you discuss the entire town in a single block. What you could do instead is start a new paragraph as you go over each aspect of the town, so that you don’t just have it all in a single chunk. Don’t overdo it, though, because little paragraphs that are all only a sentence long also look pretty bad.

And, for your final note, I’ll be lecturing you about passive vs active voice. (As a side note, The Elements of Style didn’t even get passive voice correct for three of their four examples. BAHAHAHAHA.)
I’ll keep this simple, though. It’s a lot easier than it sounds. Essentially, in active voice, the subject is doing the action.
[i]Terrorists first invaded the Middle Eastern State of Afghanistan[ii]
The subject, terrorists, are the ones who invaded (verb) something, with that something’s being the Middle Eastern state (your object). “Of Afghanistan” (bonus points if you identified it as a prepositional phrase from the other paragraph… kidding) is also there, but it doesn’t add or detract to the type of voice you have.
In passive voice, the target of the action is actually the subject of the sentence. So instead of an active sentence, which is arguable more powerful, you often use (as you did here) constructions such as:
The Middle Eastern state of Afghanistan was invaded first…
What exactly is wrong with passive voice? Although it’s not inherently wrong in this example, you’ve changed the focus from the invading terrorists to the Middle Eastern state. That’s not bad, as I mentioned earlier, but the problem becomes apparent when you want to know who invaded Afghanistan. Looking at the sentence you used, we would have no idea. Afghanistan was just invaded, but we don’t know who it is. If you said something like “Afghanistan was invaded by terrorists”, you’d answer the question, but you’d be shifting the emphasis away from the terrorists and on to their newfound territory. Essentially, passive voice is wordier and often less powerful than active voice, and it’s also often awkward and vague. If you can, you should use action verbs and active sentences in your writing instead of passive, although there are a few instances where you can let it slide. For instance, if you wanted to talk about something where the actual subject is unknown, such as, the victim was killed, it’d be okay to use passive voice in that instance: we don’t know who exactly killed the victim, so saying something such as “Somebody killed the victim” doesn’t sound as great. In addition, the emphasis of that sentence is likely on the victim, and not his/her killer, so it’d be okay to use passive voice in a situation such as that.
When looking for passive voice, don’t make the same mistake that Strunk and White (hint: they wrote The Elements of Style). Conjugated “being” verbs (things like were, was, etc) do not instantly make a sentence passive. If you said “There were dead leaves on the ground”, that’s still an active sentence, because the “there” is “were”ing… if that made any sense at all. While words such as “be” and “get” are often flags for a passive sentence (in fact, I think almost all passive sentences involve conjugated forms of be/get… there are only a handful, and I can’t really think of any… uh… “That cut needs looking at”. YEAH), and they’re usually a good way to narrow down your search for passive voice. However, the most foolproof way in finding passive voice is to make sure that your subject is the one doing the verb. It might be tedious, but active voice is almost always preferred to passive voice (just not in that sentence. XD)

Despite the mammoth size of this section, your grammar isn’t honestly that bad. Bear in mind that I’m only doing this because you have the gist of your grammar down: there is, however, always room for improvement. Since you’ve jumped into a Demanding rank with the inclusion of Rotom, your control over grammar should jump up, as well. Things like active voice and better constructions should come to you in a rank like this.

Length: You’ve got yourself at 172K+, and my count gets you at 173,069. My character counter is actually notorious for being oddly incorrect, but it took me roughly two minutes to actually highlight the whole thing, so I’m pretty sure you’re in the clear here. Your suggested character count is 130-205K, so you’ve got yourself a bit in the middle. And by a bit, you’re about forty thousand characters above your minimum suggestions… yeah, you’re in the clear for numbers.

However, like I mentioned earlier, I didn’t like the pacing of some bits. The battle for Earth, in regards to your story (and hopefully in regards to existence, lol) is mind-blowingly important. By my counts, though, it takes up less than a seventeenth of the story… basically, you shoved the final takeover of the Earth into a chunk of space that was less than ten thousand characters. Granted, your plot isn’t entirely focused on the Earth’s fall but more on the human’s attempting to take it back, but it’s still iffy. A lot of your battles felt rushed, even the ones involving the Pokémon, and it wouldn’t have hurt to have expanded them a bit more. AND THEN YOU’D BE A HUNDRED THOUSAND CHARACTERS OVER YOUR SUGGESTED COUNT.

Battle: Ironically, I don’t actually have this section in my standard format, because I’ve done my URPG’ing in an era where battles don’t have to be a key focal point in a story. Point being, I’ve seen plenty of stories written that don’t have a battle featuring prominently (or, in some circumstances, at all), and an almost equal amount of stories that passed. As it is, it becomes understandable that there weren’t that many Pokémon clashing against one another, largely for the reasons that you’ve given. I don’t feel like it detracts from the plot, so I’m certainly not going to lambast you for that.

However, since I’ve got this section all nice and started up, I may as well address the battles that you have here. You’ve got Litwick v Bannete, Goldeen v Tynamo, Magnemite/Machop v Golett/Cotonee, and Alakazam > Skunktank v Rotom.
The battles are all pretty two sided and interesting, so I can’t really get mad at you there. I’m going to say it again, though: you don’t actually need a battle to pass anymore, apparently (I would know, lol). With that in mind, a lot of these battles seemed forced. Yes, the angry Pokémon do need subduing after they jump a human… but that’s basically the reason behind all four of your battles. One thing that I didn’t like was how the Pokémon (with the exception of Rotom and Tynamo) seemed perfectly happy siding with the humans after a short discussion with them. And by humans, I mean the same humans that had just been attacking them the moment before. Yes, it’s Pokémon, but it really felt weird how Shepard and his crew would encounter a Pokémon, attack it, defeat it, and then it just joins their team shortly, eager to help the random group of people who jumped it… I dunno, perhaps that’s just me.

In terms of Pokémon battles, though, I’d say you’re in the clear. You had some creative moves and combinations, nothing got utterly dominated, and you even threw in some hax. Awesome. Still, the battles really did seem strange in comparison to the rest of the plot – you’ve established that the Techlons have eradicated/captured all of the Pokémon, and then there are suddenly little hidden groups of Pokémon scattered sparsely around… and then BOOM! POGEYMANZ EVERYWHERE… they really did seem out of place.

Regardless, though, I didn’t have any problems overall with your Pokémon battles. The space battles could have been a bit more detailed, but I kinda lambasted you for that enough earlier. ^.^

Dialogue: I’m going to give you a quick lecture about dialogue tags, and then move on to some quick advice about dialogue in general.

Remember that when you’re using a bit of dialogue that isn’t actually followed by a speech tage such as “said/talked/some other synonym”, you’ve got to use a period, not a comma. So things like this:
Quote:
“Smart Pokemon,” Arteus’s voice showed his admiration for the move.
Should look like: “Smart Pokemon.” Arteus’s voice showed his admiration for the move.
You don’t do it often, and you usually have it under control, but there are a few times where you make little comma mistakes like this. I wasn’t sure if they were typos, but it felt like the right thing to point them out in case they weren’t.

Sometimes, the dialogue that you have is pretty awkward. For instance:
Quote:
Only one question was asked by the delta force. “Do we get chameleons?”
This is, like, a top secret mission… and you’ve got your “elite” band of surviving soldiers asking their commander if they can get… fashionable suits, pretty much. I’m not sure if you were trying to play that up for humor or if you were doing it on accident; if it was for humor, you’ll definitely have to make that more noticeable, and if it was unintentional… just look out for awkward things like that, m’kay?

Into the larger points of dialogue: it’s essential that your dialogue suits the character speaking. Often, your characters appear flat and dull, with little personality within them. You have to make sure that what they say helps your characters speak, both to the characters and things around them as well as to the reader. Let your character’s personalities and traits come out through their dialogue and what they say. If Shepard is going to be some super-awesome king of awesome, he’d better have some super-awesome king of awesome lines and a badas… er… epic way of speaking. He shouldn’t just say things… he should thunder them or roar them—make your dialogue dramatic and impressive, and don’t be afraid to use words outside of said/talked/asked. Verbs are the strongest part of speech in the English language: you get a lot more across when someone snarls insults than when they just say them, you know? Make your dialogue specific and creative depending on your character, and try to demonstrate their personality through both what they say and how they say it.

Oh, and a random bit:
Quote:
“This is some foul $hi7.” Hannibal didn’t sugar coat stuff.
‘kay, so I definitely lol’ed at that bit, just because the PE2K filter forces you/Hannibal to still sugar coat stuff. XD
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  #14  
Old 07-19-2011, 05:15 AM
Kai-Mei Offline
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Posts: 43
Default Re: Crimson Tide

GRRRR, LAG MAKES THIS POST SLOWER... BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA... D:

Reality: Well, this is a pseudo sci-fi, so I really can’t bash you up on all that much here, since you can almost always use the excuse that the future is awesome and you can mess around with the rules as much as you want. However, I’m not out of stuff yet… in fact, there’s a bunch of stuff that I feel safe pointing out, because I don’t think that the passage of time can be used to argue against certain key facts. SCIENCE SHALL BE ETERNAL.

Firstly, I think I’ll go into the science-y aspects because it makes me feel at least mildly comfortable…and, hey, this is kinda a sci-fi deal. XD

Going chronologically, somewhat. You talk about how the plasma guns make massive explosions upon discharging, and the sounds are deafening or something along those lines. However, we come to the eternal fact that sound cannot be heard, and can never be heard, in space, due to the fact that there are no particles for the sound waves to vibrate and thusly transfer their energy. No matter what Star Wars tells you, sound can’t exist in space. Ever. I wasn’t sure if these cannons were inside of the ship, meaning that the implied artificial atmosphere would allow for the conduction of sound, but then you’d have a second issue in which a whole slew of humans and maybe some Pokémon would be operating plasma cannons from the inside of a space ship, meaning that they’re slowly blowing themselves up from the inside… Either way, something’s wrong. XD
On a short side trip, once we’ve established that there are no particles in space, we can safely assume (and general knowledge tells us of the same) that there is no oxygen in space. And where there is no oxygen, there can’t be fire. More specifically, there can’t be the fire that occurs when your plasma cannons’ projectiles make contact with the side of enemy space ships, unless said projectile punctures through the hull of the ship and makes contact with the (implied) oxygen that exists on the inside. However, since the opposing ships seemed largely intact after the salvo of plasma cannons, this doesn’t seem plausible, either.
With this science in mind, though, you’re faced with a dilemma, like you mentioned in your response to my PM: with the ability to describe neither explosions nor sound, your space battles become a lot less dramatic, and there’s a lot less room for detail when you can’t talk about the roaring sounds or the lotuses of fire (you did wonderfully on that, by the way, even though I’m picking it to pieces. XD). I’m not sure which one you’re going to do, but there’s got to be a balance between reality and lack of detail. Yes, the battles will be infinitely less explosive without sounds and fire, but that’s the way that they’d actually be. Keep that in mind.

However, when we continue on in the same vein regarding plasma cannons, another problem arises. Starting out simply, plasma is the fifth (known/hypothesized) state of matter when counting from lowest to highest energy, or the fourth if Bose-Einstein condensates aren’t really your thing. Essentially, plasma has so much energy that the molecules in it have become ionized and the entire thing consists of ions (positively charged) and electrons (negatively charged). If none of that made sense, plasma’s basically the stuff in most types of fire and lightning, the bulk of stars, and the stuff in neon signs. So, it does become possible that plasma can be contained (as seen in neon signs) and it can also kill stuff (as seen in lightning), and we know from the positive and negative charges in the matter itself that plasma can be contained and manipulated under the influence of a magnetic field. So, the idea of having plasma weapons is a plausible one, and probably one that has been explored in a couple of different contexts. LIKE STAR WARS. I THINK. However, the way you’ve explained it, with empty shells that formerly housed what is implied to be some form of plasma… not so much. The act of containing plasma in a fixed location (it’s possible – just look up at some fluorescent lights) would counteract the entire concept of using plasma as a weapon, because the destructive potential of plasma would be hindered in some sort of cartridge, unless the cartridge would explode or shatter on contact (in which case, it would be unlikely that the container would not be destroyed by the massive amount of energy that the plasma releases). Plasma of that type would only really be devastating if it was hooked up to a power source that would allow the ions and electrons to be in their valence states—think of it like throwing a fluorescent light bulb at someone, without plugging it in. Sure, it’d hurt to get hit by a giant glass rod, but the plasma would be largely inert and it really wouldn’t be all that painful or plausible as a weapon when loads of cheaper and probably more effective objects can be thrown at space ships. Like, you know, bullets.
In essence, a plasma cannon would have two possible outcomes, science allowing: it would either fire bolts of plasma at a specified target (without the capsules that you’ve described), or it would harness the energy in plasma and fire other objects at a specified target. Or at least, those are the two possibilities that I can come up with… if you can think of something that would work the same, then by all means, go ahead and run with it. Bear in mind that your story takes place in a time where a lot of technology is up to you to write: if you want to have suits that make people invisible, you can do it (like you did), as long as you have a plausible explanation for it.

I am curious, though, about your “universe”, so to speak, in which this story takes place. You mention a lot of real world countries, such as the USA and China, and you have a lot of real world events, such as 9/11. However, you do have one very not-real-world object in this universe, more specifically Pokémon. You’ve created a universe that contains some of the best plot points in fanfiction (Pokémon and war), but I can’t understand how they really link. Is your universe just the real world with Pokémon thrown in, or is it a parallel universe that is just like ours but with Pokémon? The inherent point here is that Pokémon don’t (to the extent of human knowledge, lol) exist in this universe, but you have their appearance slated right next to terrorists and Afghanistan. This is kinda a major reality issue, unless there’s something you know about this world that I don’t. XD
Assuming you’re in this universe, also, there’s a slight problem that arises early on regarding the United Nations. You say that the USA gets tired of dealing with the UN for sixty years and then leaves. Tracing backwards from the nearest date you gave us (2030), we go back through the implied five years of peace to 2025, and then back two more years to 2023, the implied date during which the USA leaves the UN. So, if the USA was dealing with the UN for sixty years, that’d mean the USA was in there since the 1960’s… however, the UN was founded in 1945 following the end of WWII to replace the failing League of Nations founded by Woodrow Wilson… essentially, 80 years before 2023, and I’m pretty sure that the US and the UN have been clashing basically since the UN’s founding, lol. Just wanted to keep that straight. ^.^
Oh, and if we’re actually in this universe, meaning that the American laws are still the same in this world/2080..
Quote:
He was the current president of the United States and was therefore a senator of the congress.
Technically, the president isn’t really a senator. In fact, he can’t be a senator; that would really ruin the checks and balances of the system if the head of the executive branch can also play a powerful part in the legislative branch… LET’S GO AHEAD AND MAKE HIM A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE AND COMPLETELY SCREW EVERYTHING UP, EH? But in reality, any person (well, really, their bills/suggestions) can appear in front of Congress, given that they’re sensible and determined enough. Actually, that might be just citizens… I’m not so familiar with American legislature, embarrassingly enough…but the point remains that the President can’t be a member of Congress. Look at it this way: Obama was formerly in Congress, but upon his being elected as President of the United States, he gave up his seat.

For the final point, we’ll be steering away from actual physics and entering the dreaded realms of Pokémon physics. Starting with Alakazam, all of your Pokémon were able to converse with humans with ease, something that doesn’t really happen. Alakazam is possible, maybe, because of the whole psychic powers… but when people start talking to Rhyperior and the Rhyperior speaks back… think of it as if you were talking to a rhinoceros. Perhaps it’s a rhinoceros that is smarter than the average ungulate, but I can’t imagine that it could possibly carry out a realistic conversation with a human (although, I did enjoy how you had the Pokémon help out on the ship with some of the heavier labor jobs). Perhaps the humans and Pokémon can converse because of special translators, or perhaps, in the seventy or so years between the present and your time, humans have trained Pokémon to speak English or have trained themselves to speak to Pokémon… whatever option you pick is really fine, as long as you earn it. And by that, I mean devoting a little bit of your story to explaining why your Pokémon work the way they do. It’s pretty simple, and you shouldn’t have problems with this part. It’s certainly not anything like the fire in space issue, so you’re good there.

Just remember that you need to keep your story realistic. Yes, it’s Pokémon, but there are some basic things that aren’t going to change. Keep that in mind, okay?


Personal Feelings/Outcome: Um… I want to mention here that the outcome of the grade is also part of the grade… so I didn’t end up opening your spoiler until I completed the grade, as per your request, which also included this part (barring this sentence, lol). I’m going to say, though, that I had to base your outcome on the ranks of the Pokémon and not your requests, because, well… that’s kinda how I think I’m supposed to do things. I’m sorry. ._.

I liked your story. I really did. It kept my attention for something that was the length of a small novel, which is no small feat, and there were little bits of heartwarming such as the “Father?” bit at the end that made things a lot cuter. However, your introduction was shaky, your dialogue could have used some polishing, your detail was sometimes lacking, and there were a lot of bits that didn’t actually make sense, scientifically speaking. Since this *is* a semi sci-fi, your science aspects do have to be key.
(You’ll notice that I’m not really docking you for grammar since most of that section consists of “things to remember for next time” and not “OHMYGODMYEYESMYIMMORTAL…”)

You’ve aimed for seven Pokémon, with one Demanding, three Hard, and three Medium. That’s no small feat, no matter how you cut it, and I was pretty impressed by your effort.

Bahaha, it feels like I’m just drawing this out since this is arguably the section to which you skipped instantly (D:). Well, odds are you went to the spoiler first. Anywho, my decision is as follows:

Spoiler:

I had to do the captures in a funny format since you went for so many Pokémon, lol. I did read your spoiler, but I’m still going to give you a choice of what you get since it feels a bit more official that way.

Demanding Pokémon (Rotom): not captured
Three Medium Pokémon (Cottonee, Magnemite, and Minncino): captured
Two Hard Pokémon (Litwick/Golett/Tynamo) captured, one Hard Pokémon not captured

You had the basis of an excellent story, and that’s what earned you five of the seven Pokémon. Bear in mind, though, that once you hit Hard rank and above, you’re going to be held to much higher standards. Polish up the things I suggested, and you’ll get those other two Pokémon in no time… well, actually, you should probably spend a bit of time fixing up those details. It won’t be some mind-numbingly long project, but you might have to invest a bit of effort into it.

PM/VM/IM me for a regrade at any time. I’ll be sure to take a lot less time than I did writing this grade. XD
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  #15  
Old 07-19-2011, 10:25 PM
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Default Re: Crimson Tide

Litwick and Tynamo plus all the medium mon. I'll be back for the other two ^-6
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