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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 04-28-2008, 07:51 PM
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Default Three and One

Well, this is my second fanfiction attempt. I realize the prologue is short, and sincerely hope you don't mind too much.

Prologue: So Far so Good

Three and one.

A stern looking teen stared into the brightly lit screen of a small, handheld device. Across the top of the device were inscribed a jumble of letters and words. 'OTSE Score Count'. It was about the size of a modern cellular phone, but with a larger screen. Printed clearly on the screen were numbers: the number three, followed by a comma, and then a one. The numbers were the only thing on the screen, save a small red dot at the upper right hand corner. After a few minutes, the boy's eyelids drifted slowly over his eyes, and he collapsed gently onto his bed. The handheld clattered to the wooden floor, buzzing quietly. The digital clock that was built into the cold wall displayed the time; 12:04 AM. Three and one… so far so good.

Last edited by Psychic Oats; 05-03-2008 at 05:57 PM.
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  #2  
Old 04-28-2008, 09:40 PM
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Default Re: {Three and One}

Confused is me right now.
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  #3  
Old 04-28-2008, 09:43 PM
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Default Re: {Three and One}

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Originally Posted by scalec View Post
Confused is me right now.
So am I. When's chapter one coming out?
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  #4  
Old 04-28-2008, 10:46 PM
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Default Re: {Three and One}

Chapter One: Cramped and Windowless

Chibuhiru Nariume awoke with a start, his body cold with sweat. The vivid images of his dream were fastened to his mind. That face… that voice… she was calling out for him, her hands reaching for him fruitlessly. The teen shook his head, his teeth grinding together silently. He chanced a look at the clock. 6:43 AM. Nariume sighed and tossed off his sheets, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and slipping his feet into his shoes. He rubbed his tired eyes and yawned as he stood, reaching down to pick up his Score Count. After clicking a small button on the back to turn it off, he slid it deep into his pocket and stretched his arms a bit. He walked out the door of his cramped, windowless room and into the cramped, windowless hallway of the Orbtown Facility's third floor in the east wing.

Orbtown Speakeasy, or the OTSE Facility, is a clandestine underground Pokemon battling ring. Originally designed as an ingenious subterranean scientific facility, Babinot LaFarge intended for the multi-billion dollar project to be kept completely secret. Fortunately, LaFarge was the head of a prosperous and powerful organization known simply as The Order, which also kept its actions away from the eyes of the government. Using his influence and wealth, LaFarge spent six years constructing his project. Situated two miles below the planet's surface, under a generally unpopulated area, the construction of the facility was, at first, easily kept quiet. However, as it continued to expand, LaFarge realized measures had to be taken to ensure that the government would not discover his plans. With the help of other politically powerful and scientifically genius members of The Order, the facility soon became undetectable via radar. Everything was going well.

On April 2nd, 2016, the project was complete. On April 3rd, Babinot LaFarge was murdered. On April 4th, every other member of The Order disappeared mysteriously. On April 5th, the project was under new management, to say the least. A man named Riyukunoshi Hanozuka, a virtual nobody, was now in charge of the facility. The next four years were a blur. Riyukunoshi, without any substantial amount of money or subordinates, was somehow able to transform the scientific facility into a city, of sorts, the center of which was an enormous Pokemon battling field. The purpose of this new facility… not science, but battling. Orbtown, as the underground city was called, was home to a huge series of illegal Pokemon battles, the prizes of which are money and Pokemon, both originally stolen, in most cases. The rules? There are only two. One, you may only use one Pokemon, and two, your Pokemon must be holding some type of orb. Why these rules were instated is a mystery. It is said that orbs are a preference of Mr. Hanozuka himself, and therefore makes them a requirement to enter his battling ring.

Two years later, Orbtown Speakeasy, as it was affectionately dubbed, was still a secret to most of the world. One would think, with the hundreds and thousands of money-desperate scum that visit and even live in the city, that at least one sore loser would have informed the government of such activities. However, for reasons no one knows or cares to find out, no one seems to tell. Either that or the government has been turning the other cheek for years, despite the cruelty to Pokemon that exists in nearly every battle that occurs there. The disappearances of LaFarge and The Order are a mystery to this day, and nearly everyone who frequents the OTSE knows about the old legend, and of the practically deified Mr. Hanozuka, constantly watching over his pawns.

Last edited by Psychic Oats; 04-28-2008 at 10:49 PM.
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  #5  
Old 04-29-2008, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: -[Three] and [One]-

I repeat: Confused is me right now.
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  #6  
Old 05-01-2008, 10:56 PM
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Default Re: -[Three] and [One]-

Yay, you're doing this fic I've heard about! I was hoping you'd talk more about what the score count is, and about that teenager, but...
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  #7  
Old 05-02-2008, 01:34 AM
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Default Re: -[Three] and [One]-

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Yay, you're doing this fic I've heard about! I was hoping you'd talk more about what the score count is, and about that teenager, but...
Score Count... is gonna be next chapter. The teenager is generally gonna have one little bit each time until everything essential is explained, and then we'll go full throttle on him. I just need to set up the background; I know it's okay to set up the background gradually as you go along, but it seemed too many people were confused, and I just thought I'd clarify a bit. I will only come out with chapters on weekends, for the most part, because of my being waaaaay too busy during the week.
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  #8  
Old 05-02-2008, 01:56 AM
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Default Re: -[Three] and [One]-

This seems more like a summary than an actual story, it's a bit dry and doesn't really have much needed to feel any empathy for the characters IMHO . All and all it reads to me like the notes for an outline of a plot
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  #9  
Old 05-03-2008, 05:49 PM
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Default Re: -[Three] and [One]-

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Originally Posted by Orange_Flaaffy View Post
This seems more like a summary than an actual story, it's a bit dry and doesn't really have much needed to feel any empathy for the characters IMHO . All and all it reads to me like the notes for an outline of a plot
... *Facepalm* Please turn your attention to the previous post. Thankyou. -.- Now, I've gots a new chappie. I decided that I won't fully explain the Score Count in this one, but rather, the one after this. Don't worry, it's not essential for this chapter.



Chapter Two: A Bright Green Teen! Who is Chibuhiru Nariume?

"Chibuhiru-san!"

Nariume turned slightly, catching sight of a small boy. The boy was racing down the hallway towards him, holding a stack of papers in both arms. His short, spiky blue hair was held back from his bright green eyes by bandages that were wrapped around his forehead like a headband. He looked about ready to collapse, and had small scratches and bruises dotting his legs. Nariume blinked twice, his eyes still adjusting after having just woken up. "Pirin?"

The boy beamed at the fact that Nariume had remembered his name, closing his eyes just long enough for him not to see the stray book on the floor before him. At his fast pace, the book sent the small boy practically flying as he tripped over it, and he skidded slowly to a halt in front of Nariume. He was holding the papers up above his head to keep them safe, and Nariume reached down and took them.

"Agh… Chibuhiru-san, are you alright…?" Pirin murmured, his face against the white marble of the hallway. Nariume shook his head, sighing.

"You just skidded half way down a halfway on your stomach, and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

Pirin smiled a little and, with some difficulty, stood up. He was noticeably shorter than the other male; Nariume was above average height while Pirin was below. The boy's eyes shone as he looked up at Nariume, admiring his handsome and calm face. His medium-length, night black hair was half-hidden behind a bright green visor cap, which matched his 'flip flop' sandals of the same color. He wore a golden necklace, the locket of which was hidden underneath his shirt. His wrists were decorated with nearly identical golden chain bracelets. His black tee shirt, which was accentuated by the pitch black of his hair and eyes, was worn under a light, unzipped, lime green sweatshirt. Nariume's voice snapped Pirin out of his daze.

"You're staring again, Pirin…" the teen muttered, staring down at his counterpart with his apathetic black gaze. He turned slightly, causing his necklace to jingle softly.

"Ah, you're right, I'm sorry!" Pirin stammered, looking at his feet in shame. "I brought you the papers… after all; your fourth battle is today, isn't it?"

Nariume looked up to the blank white ceiling, tearing up the papers and tossing the shreds into the trash. "That's right. I'd almost forgotten…"

Pirin cringed gently when the papers fell into the trash bin, recalling that it had taken him all morning to fill out the necessary paperwork for Nariume's match this afternoon. 'At least I managed to print out copies. Geez, this guy…'

"Come on, Pirin." The small boy looked up to see Nariume already at the end of the hall, tapping his fingers against the white wall. "Stop daydreaming, or we'll be late." Pirin twitched, but then trotted down the hallway to join the teen with a sigh.

[…]

BANG.

The duo continued along, now past the winding hallways and into the main lobby. Every so often, a loud bang sounded out through the enormous lobby, and the whole building seemed to shudder. Both were silent, staring intently down at their Score Counts rather than speaking to one another. As if by memorization of the complex, both made their way, without looking, to a large, polished marble counter. A man on the other side had his nose buried in a book, and didn't notice Nariume or Pirin until they rang the bell.

"Welcome to Orbtown Speakeasy. Can I help you? Mmm? Ah, it's you two. Which of you is going to be… erm…"

"Battling?" Pirin asked, finishing the dopey-looking man's sentence. "Chibuhiru-san. Here are the forms." He slid a new stack of papers across the counter, and the man took them.

BANG.

"Mmm, yes, everything looks good." He dug into his pocket and retrieved a stamp, slamming it down twice onto the stack and then sliding it further down the long, marble counter. He extended his hand. "Battler's Score Count, please." Nariume tore his eyes from the bright screen of the small device and handed it over to the man, who proceeded to insert one side of a thin cable. The other side was plugged into a large, humming machine. The machine hummed loudly for a few seconds, and then gave a satisfying beep. The dopey man scratched his ear and withdrew the cable, returning the Score Count to its owner. Nariume nodded to the man and the duo departed.

"So, what time did you get?"

BANG.

Nariume glanced at the screen of his handheld. Across the screen was now a blinking clock that seemed to be counting down. 00:58. "An hour from now." Pirin raised his eyebrow quizzically as the two walked through the gradually filling with people lobby.

"But that's 8:00. Not many people are here that early… I wonder who it is you'll be battling." Nariume shrugged as they made their way to two vacant seats around the hearth in the center of the lobby and sat down. The lobby was now hosting about sixty people, possibly more, who were all wandering around doing their daily business. Several were following Nariume's lead and heading to the counter to schedule battles. Nariume looked down at his Score Count once again. There it was, plain as day. He wasn't looking at the clock that was slowly counting down to the time of his battle that now read, 00:50. Rather, reflected in his cold black eyes was the set of numbers that was always haunting him. Three and one.

Last edited by Psychic Oats; 05-03-2008 at 05:54 PM.
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  #10  
Old 05-03-2008, 08:05 PM
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Default Re: Three and One

Interesting...I must say I'm starting to get entriuged.
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Old 05-04-2008, 07:08 PM
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Default Re: Three and One

That's really neat, I'm liking it.

Can't wait for the next chapter! ^^
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  #12  
Old 05-18-2008, 08:13 PM
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Default Re: Three and One

*screams and flails arms*

YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAD A NEW FIC. NEVER. WHY IS THAT?! TELL ME. TELL ME NOW.

*cries*

... Yeah, I like it. XD Then again, I like anything you write, because you're practically my favourite author. o.O
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Old 05-19-2008, 12:00 AM
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Default Re: Three and One

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Originally Posted by Tombi View Post
*screams and flails arms*

YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAD A NEW FIC. NEVER. WHY IS THAT?! TELL ME. TELL ME NOW.

*cries*

... Yeah, I like it. XD Then again, I like anything you write, because you're practically my favourite author. o.O
Talk about a fan.
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