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  #1  
Old 04-18-2008, 12:17 AM
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Default FF Tips.

When posting, put spaces between periods and other words.

also, combine sentences, EX:

"Max slapped Joe. Joe began to cry."

Here is a better one:

"Max slapped Joe, and he began to cry."

Also try to be detailed in your worked, here is a revised sentence:

"Max slapped Joe with terrifying force, causing a river of tears to flow from Joe's eyes."

It makes to fic longer, and more entertaining.

Here are some Conjunctions (credit to my LEAP teacher, Its an AP English/reading)

For
And
Nor
But
Or
Yet
So
Either
Neither

Definition of a Coordinating conjunction:

A type of conjunction that is used to connect two words or groups of words of equal grammatical status. The most common coordinating conjunctions are "and" and "or".
Please dont post unless you have something to add :P
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  #2  
Old 04-18-2008, 04:07 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
"Max slapped Joe with terrifying force, causing a river of tears to flow from Joe's eyes."
Hm, well within reason. That is not exactly a better sentence even if you add to it. Sometimes a few sentences are better than one, it's all in how they are written :). Maybe something like:

"The sound of skin meeting skin rang though the halls of the nearly empty pokemon center.

Joe looked up at Max, a hand clasped in disbelief to his newly reddened cheek.
Tears quickly began to form as his normally cheerful eyes half closed against the reality of his friends betrayal.

"I'm sorry..I did'nt..know..that..was..the last candy baar!"

Joe wailed, tears streaming freely down his trembling chin."

Good sentences are about flow, not about how many of them you can combine :)
I'm not saying my example is the best thing since sliced bread ether, but it is a step in the right direction :). Show what happened, don't just tell it to the reader :)
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Last edited by Orange_Flaaffy; 04-18-2008 at 04:31 PM.
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  #3  
Old 04-19-2008, 06:02 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

example , jebus >.> lol

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  #4  
Old 04-20-2008, 06:10 PM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

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Originally Posted by jerokelm View Post
example , jebus >.> lol

I'm glad you liked it...at least I think your smilies meant you liked it *lol* :)
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  #5  
Old 04-21-2008, 01:10 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Here's a good tip: Always have two copies of your fic: A hard copy, on some sort of disc (floppy, compact disc, etc.), and a copy saved to your actual computer. I learned this one the hard way. The floppy disc I was saving fics on broke, and it set me back two chapters on my first fanfic, and was, in the end, that fic's ultimate downfall.
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  #6  
Old 04-21-2008, 01:15 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jerokelm View Post
"Max slapped Joe with terrifying force, causing a river of tears to flow from Joe's eyes."

It makes to fic longer, and more entertaining.
Eh, not really. Purple prose + unnecessary words (especially modifiers) just makes me realize that a writer is inexperienced and is trying too hard. Clean prose is the way to go. Say more with less.
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  #7  
Old 04-21-2008, 01:15 AM
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Thumbs up Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange_Flaaffy View Post
Hm, well within reason. That is not exactly a better sentence even if you add to it. Sometimes a few sentences are better than one, it's all in how they are written :). Maybe something like:

"The sound of skin meeting skin rang though the halls of the nearly empty pokemon center.

Joe looked up at Max, a hand clasped in disbelief to his newly reddened cheek.
Tears quickly began to form as his normally cheerful eyes half closed against the reality of his friends betrayal.

"I'm sorry..I did'nt..know..that..was..the last candy baar!"

Joe wailed, tears streaming freely down his trembling chin."

Good sentences are about flow, not about how many of them you can combine :)
I'm not saying my example is the best thing since sliced bread ether, but it is a step in the right direction :). Show what happened, don't just tell it to the reader :)
Thanks to you, i now know what my fics are missing. Thank you orangeflaafy!
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  #8  
Old 04-21-2008, 02:06 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by autism View Post
Thanks to you, i now know what my fics are missing. Thank you orangeflaafy!
You're welcome :).
You know for the longest time I never knew what teachers meant by show don't tell, then one day when I was about fifteen it finally clicked :).
So don't worry, it comes to everyone sooner or later ;)
Quote:
Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
Eh, not really. Purple prose + unnecessary words (especially modifiers) just makes me realize that a writer is inexperienced and is trying too hard. Clean prose is the way to go. Say more with less.
Well in this case I think he needs to say more. It seems to be a case, like I said, of just saying something happened rather than showing it and putting any emotion behind the action.
I would not exactly call that purple prose...
But there are times when a purple prose laced style can work, if handled in a balanced way. I love it in romance novels, and my character Yvonne is just an out dramatic person in her pov period :3.

But many fics at other pokemon forums do suffer from it in a bad sense :P.

One piece I saw someone posted on LJ:
Quote:
"Our movement was entirely arrested, both the capacity to move the limbs and the possibility of movement by outside forces being stolen from us, and everything in our vision assumed the consistency of extremely dilute ink on metal, draining down to an unspecified invisible point to reveal behind it a chamber of indeterminate length made of seamless metal and containing, to our sight, absolutely nothing.

I had not realized, you see, the myriad dangers and wonders beyond the superficial physical sight.

The ancient creature’s anger fuelled itself on every possible foothold, irritation at trespass elevating to indignation at our lowly sight, moving upwards at our sheer oblivious stupidity, and then falling. The invisible flames licking maliciously at our unsuspecting heels withdrew, falling into a cold, eerie silence, in the darkness growing wings. And when the engines rose—when all the crooked devices of death and torture were set upon us, their obtrusive hatred impressed itself in our minds, only to lose its gravity."
Ick :P.
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Last edited by Orange_Flaaffy; 04-21-2008 at 02:22 AM.
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  #9  
Old 04-21-2008, 07:28 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
Eh, not really. Purple prose + unnecessary words (especially modifiers) just makes me realize that a writer is inexperienced and is trying too hard. Clean prose is the way to go. Say more with less.
It's great if you can say exactly what's going on in just a few words.

But sometimes it's better to really explain things.

And do you know what I heard at school? The best authors can make you cry, laugh, feel angry, surprised and everything, all in one page.
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  #10  
Old 04-21-2008, 05:04 PM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Latias_Rider View Post
It's great if you can say exactly what's going on in just a few words.

But sometimes it's better to really explain things.

And do you know what I heard at school? The best authors can make you cry, laugh, feel angry, surprised and everything, all in one page.
I agree this example has a problem where more needs to be explained, rather than letting words like 'terrifying' stand in for true action, and a anime like picture of ' a river of tears' take the place of a more realistic crying scene :)
(Unless you are writing a comedy, but even then, it has been done a lot. Lets just say I am nearly twenty-five and I was using it in the ye olde days when home internet was new ;)).
The word 'causing' also is somewhat jarring to me in how it is used there, but I just woke up so I can't for the life of me explain why at the moment.
I'm sure someone else knows what I am talking about :)
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  #11  
Old 04-21-2008, 07:12 PM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Latias_Rider View Post
It's great if you can say exactly what's going on in just a few words.

But sometimes it's better to really explain things.

And do you know what I heard at school? The best authors can make you cry, laugh, feel angry, surprised and everything, all in one page.
I never said with "just a few words." I mean that it's best to tell a story/describe a situation in the most concise manner. If it ends up being a novel, then great. If it's really short, that's fine too - as long as everything within the story is relevant, I'm fine with it. Basically, I mean that the notion of a greater length automatically meaning a greater piece of fiction is not necessarily true.

And I dunno if I've ever read a serious passage of purple prose that I liked. Maybe I'm missing some good ones, though! I could see it working well in a humorous setting. Maybe romance too, OF, which I rarely read.
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  #12  
Old 04-22-2008, 07:41 AM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
I never said with "just a few words." I mean that it's best to tell a story/describe a situation in the most concise manner. If it ends up being a novel, then great. If it's really short, that's fine too - as long as everything within the story is relevant, I'm fine with it. Basically, I mean that the notion of a greater length automatically meaning a greater piece of fiction is not necessarily true.

And I dunno if I've ever read a serious passage of purple prose that I liked. Maybe I'm missing some good ones, though! I could see it working well in a humorous setting. Maybe romance too, OF, which I rarely read.
Well, I didn't actually mean a few words. I agree with what you said.

Describing is good, as long as the story doesn't just drag on...

@Orange_Flaaffy- The word 'causing' can be used there, but you can also change it too.
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  #13  
Old 04-22-2008, 03:02 PM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Latias_Rider View Post
Well, I didn't actually mean a few words. I agree with what you said.

Describing is good, as long as the story doesn't just drag on...

@Orange_Flaaffy- The word 'causing' can be used there, but you can also change it too.
I guess it just feels a little forced to me *yawns* Ack, mornings :P
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Old 04-22-2008, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange_Flaaffy View Post
I guess it just feels a little forced to me *yawns* Ack, mornings :P
I know the feeling.

And people have different opinions when it comes to stories anyway.
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  #15  
Old 04-22-2008, 10:07 PM
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Default Re: FF Tips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Latias_Rider View Post
I know the feeling.

And people have different opinions when it comes to stories anyway.
I know they do, its what makes the forums go round :)...
I just can't help poking my nose into writing style topics, I'm a stubborn flaaffy like that :3
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