I'm baa-aack! BWA HA HA! I'm embittered with the world of dating right now, so I've switched to the dark side over Prom Weekend... Please, just don't even ask why. Getting to the point, I now present the edited, remastered, totally remade version of Chapter 5.
Chapter Five: Quest 1! The Three Treasures!
Narrator:The world is now hanging in the balance.As I set off to find the mystic power objects of the Legendary Pokèmon, I was little aware that I was gravely endangering the whole planet...
Lone Houndoom: *Flying over the plains on a Charizard* Ah, my first stop: Vermillion City!
Narrator: I was in Vermillion because I needed a boat to the Seafoam Islands, and the three legendary birds.... duh. Why else would I waste my time in that hick little port?
Lone Houndoom: *barges into a tavern* I'm lookin' fer a ship!
Customers:*all raise Pokèballs*
Lone Houndoom: Oh, puh-lease. *tosses three Pokeballs* GO, CERBERUS!ZORRO!RAMSES!
Lone Houndoom:..... Well, at least Cerberus got it right....
Lt. Surge: *raises a hand*Give the kid a break, people. He looks okay to me.
Lone Houndoom: Thank you, Lt. *salutes* I'm just gonna assume you have no ulterior motives whatsoever.
Lt. Surge: You're welcome. Now, where's your destination?
Lone Houndoom: The Seafoam Islands, gym leader who's totally not suspicious in any way.
Lt. Surge: Interesting. I got two more who wanna get there. One of 'em had a Pikachu... chatty little thing...
Lone Houndoom:*not paying attention* Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure. When can we leave?
Lt. Surge: As soon as you can get all your stuff onboard.
Lone Houndoom: 'Kay.
Later, at the harbor...
Lone Houndoom: *walking away from a smallish ship, the S.S. Raichu
*All packed, now let's roll!
Lt. Surge: Be patient, kid! *leans against a gaurd rail on the pier*
Five minutes later....
Lt. Surge: All right, now
we can go!
Lone Houndoom: Excellent! I'm totally not worried about why we waited five minutes in which seemingly nothing happened!
Lone Houndoom:*wandering the halls, which are so much bigger than the outside it would make the TARDIS jealous* Man, I hope we get there soon....
:Man, why they decided to go to the Seafoam Islands, I'll never know....
Both:*bump into each other*
:Hey, watch it!
Lone Houndoom: You watch it!
: Why you little- YOU!
Lone Houndoom: YOU!
Both: WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING HERE?
:Well, WE are going to enjoy the beach, which I think is dumb, since we just camped on a beach last night!
Lone Houndoom: And I'm going to get the three treasures of the legendary birds!
.... I mean, the replicas they sell at the souvenier stand! Ya know, for my collection!
I'm watching you...
Lone Houndoom: You should really be watching the hand rails.
Lt. Surge: Hard turn to port!
*the boat turns sharply, sending Pika over the edge*
Lone Houndoom:Smooth,puke rat.
:Help! He pushed me overboard!
Lone Houndoom:*sarcastic* Oh,I'm so scared!Please,save me someone!This yellow rat's framing me, and I'm gonna get flogged, help!
Ash:I can't believe this!
Lone Houndoom:(Double f***...)
Ash:I can't believe you'd attack this random guy, Pikachu!
Ash: You are SO getting a time-out in your Pokeball for this.
Lone Houndoom:*sneaks away onto the Island, which they've now landed on* *walks up to the Alter of Lugia or WTF ever they call it, where three orbs sit* Ah, yes. The Thunder Orb of Zapdos*puts the yellow one in his backpack*The Fire Orb of Moltres*Steals the Red Orb* And the Ice Orb of Articuno.*steals the blue orb*
Meanwhile, beneath the sea...
:....*opens eyes* I sense a disturbance in the Force...*goes to the surface, where the other Legendary Birds (minus Ho-oh) are waiting*
Articuno:Lugia, someone stole the treasures again!
:What did he look like?
Zapdos:How the heck should we know? If we'd seen him, we'd have ate him!
:Okay, okay! We'll just destroy all humans and collect the orbs from the rubble.
Narrator:I was well aware that the legendary birds would come to react this way. I knew that the only thing that would bring Ash and Misty together was a crisis which might mean the death of Ash. DUH!
Lone Houndoom:*runs past Ash, Misty, and Pikanose-er, Pikachu
Ash:...What was that
:I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach...
Articuno:Behold, for I am the Lord your God!
Meanwhile, in the Hoenn Insane Universe...
Kenta:Okay, now I know
someone's ripping off my fanfic...
Mary:How do you know?
Kenta:I can just sense it...
Back at the Seafoam Islands...
Articuno:What? I've always wanted to say that!
Everyone:*runs onto the ship* GET US OUT OF HERE, LT. SURGE!
Lt. Surge: *turns around, a gun in hand* No. You'll give me the orbs first, kid.
Ash: What are you talking about?
Lt. Surge: I knew this Houndoom kid would obviously go for the orbs, so I offered him a ride so that I could steal them. And if you don't give them, I blow this whole thing up with the C4 my men planted on the ship during that five minute wait. BWA HA HA HA-!*gets plucked out of the ship by Zapdos*
Lone Houndoom:... I'm thinking we should get the f*** out of here.
Narrator: And so we boated back to shore, and I went after my next prize: The Crystal bell of Suicune, along with the silver bells of Ho-oh
EDIT: Here it is, Ask Pikachu Part 2!
Lone Houndoom: Hello, folks! Welcome to ask Pikachu, the Fic within a Fic where all of YOUR questions are read by me, the handsome and charismatic hero, and answered by Pikachu, the bit-part yellow rodent!
*mutter, mutter, grumble, swear, mutter*
Lone Houndoom: Anyways, todays question from Scalec is: Are you an Advanceshipper, Pearlshipper, or Pokeshipper?
: Again, I can't really imagine any of the morons being smart enough to love each other, so I really can't be any. But if pressed, I guess I'd say AAMayL, just to p!$$ Houndy off.
That's all the time we have, folks! I'm gonna go take care of our mouse infestation! *runs after Pika with an axe*
: JESUSFRYINGEGGCRAP#! *runs away as the camera zooms out over the stage and audience*
#: Please note: this was taken from Hogwartian Idol 1 on youtube, by Simpsonsguy. I give him full credit for coining this line.