Beauty, the Trainer, and a Ticked Fanboy- Re(Pokemon)Mastered Edition
Hey! I'm back with Beauty,the Trainer, and a Ticked Fanboy, and the gags are all new, the scripts are pollished, and the reception is AWESOME! *does a victory dance while maniacal fans scream*As always, Advanceshippers are warned that they'll find this very offensive, and as such would do well to go back. Now, for those still here... sit back and enjoy the Harold-and-Kumar-style ride!
Chapter 1:Cannibalistic Pokèmon and Other Abnormalities
Narrator: After four long, hard years of training through regions we've never heard of and probably never will, our heroes have decided to have a reunion in Saffron City, because they can't be bothered to find someplace where there's ANYTHING TO DO. While Brock, May, Max, Tracey, and Dawn all go to Goldenrod to catch the Magnet Rail, Ash and Misty are arriving by means that don't require arduos Trans-Region travel at a time when it would be much easier, faster, and smarter to walk directly to the destination.
Ash:*walks up to the station* I can't believe I'm seeing the gang again! This should be awesome! *turns to Pikachu* Remember all the memories we made with them, Pikachu? *dreamy look*
*A meddley of flashbacks featuring Misty yelling at Ash, Brock hitting on Nurse Joy, May and Max fighting, Ash getting beaned in the head with a Pokèball thrown by Dawn, and an assortment of other things plays*
.....It's gonna be a d@^^|\| long week....
Ash:*wearing a blissfull look* Yeah, Pikachu, I hope it will
be a long week....
: Oy vai...Well, at least now you can understand me....
Wait, when the f*** did that happen?
Ash:I dunno, it just happened.
Narrator:Meanwhile, about 5 feet away....
Misty: I wonder where the others are right now, Azurill?
Azurill:(translated) And I wonder why the f*** I haven't evolved in the four years you've had me. Deal with it!
Misty: *chibi form* DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!
Azurill:*bigger chibi form*DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!
Ash:*watches all this*Wow.
:Holy $#!†! Someone who can out-yell Misty! *gets on a laptop that popped out of nowhere*Sheesh, and according to Serribii dot net, Azurill's supposed to be the layed back one! Boy, did they get that
Misty:Huh? Oh, hey Ash! How've you been?
Ash:Pretty good. And you?
Narrator:It was at this point that Your Kind Narrator got tired of all the $#!††ing around and barged in.
Lone Houndoom:Dangit, you two! Just shut up and kiss so those idiot Ash and May fangirls will stop egging my house!*runs across the street towards them, running straight into a manhole* SHIIIIIIIIIIIII-*SPLASH*
*scene shifts to the sewer*
Lone Houndoom: I'll get back up there!
Feraligatr: Not if I have anything to do with it,heh heh heh... Dinner is served, kids!
Shiny Totodile:Yay! Humans are tasty!Come, my brothers and sisters! *A horde of normal Totodile come through the sewer line*
Lone Houndoom:Oh, son of a bi-
*scene shifts back to the station,where Ash and Misty are sitting at a station cafè*
Misty:Ash, did you hear something?
Lone Houndoom:Back! Back, you blue lizard freaks!
Ash's Phone:Every trainer has a choice
To listen to the voice inside
Although the battle may be long,
Winners may have come and go
Ash:*answers his phone* Hello?
Brock:Hey, Ash? We've got a bit of a problem at the station in Goldenrod. Seems that the Probopass and Magnazone who keep the train running are on strike.
*scene shifts to the outside of the Goldenrod Station, where several Probopass and Magnazone are holding up signs to the effect that running a train is abuse of their natural gifts,and that they have better things to do with their time, like robbing banks*
Dawn:Don't worry, guys, I'll calm them down. I have a natural way with Pokèmon.
Empoleon: Bull $#!†! You've had me since I was a f***in' Piplup, and you can't even f***in' get me to stop saying f***in'!....F***in'!
Dawn:Shut up!*walks into the middle of the crowd of Pokèmon* Who wants a Pokèmon treat?
Probopass:What?Those lousey treats are what they payed us with! Why do ya think we quit, lamebrain?We want real meat!
Magnazone:Hey, I heard from a Feraligatr in Saffron that human is excuisite.
Empoleon:Hmmm.... sounds good. But wherever will
we find a human?
All Pokèmon:*look at Dawn hungrily*
*scene shifts back to the Saffron Station*
Dawn:*in the background*AH!MY LEG!
Brock:Well, I've gotta hang up now. I called collect, and it's, like, 200 yen a minute!
Narrator:For no reason whatsoever, I now feel it nessacary to point out that this is equivelant to about $1.60.
Ash:Well, see ya!*hangs up*
Misty:What was that about?
Ash:The others got delayed. Guess we'll be stuck here for a while, since we're waiting for them.
Lone Houndoom:*pops out of a manhole*WHAT?....
Heh heh heh.... If I can get those two to kiss, then the cops will finally give me the permit to shoot those Ash and May fangirls who keep egging my house....And their extended stay here will be the perfect chance to do just that!...Now, then...*climbs out of the manhole with a Totodile still clinging to his butt*.
:*Sees the Totodile*Hmmmmm....Well, don't knock it 'till ya try it!*makes a flying leap and lands on Lone Houndoom's shoulder, then starts to gnaw on his head*
Lone Houndoom:*yanks both of them off* Hey, blue lizard freak. I hear electric rodents are excuisitely plump this time of year.
Totodile:*drooling*Oh really?*Lunges at Pikachu*
Narrator:Currently, I must stop, as my throat is getting quite sore. More soon, ladies and gents, more soon.*runs away just in time to avoid a torrent of rotten Tamato Berries*