Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 04-01-2008, 02:05 AM
Beetzo's Avatar
Beetzo Offline
Amateur Trainer
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 62
Default The slowking trilagy

Once there was a group of Slowkings that were wild but very experenced. They were in search of a skillful trainer that would not disrespect them due to their slowness and lack of phsical skills. So they walked aimlessly in search of anyone with a kind heart. On the other side of the forest, there was a unexperenced trainer that was lost and only had a Heracross to guild him and protect him from the unknown. The trainers name was Alex, and he was a mere 12 year old. He got his Herecross when he was 8, on his birthday. He trained his Herecross well, so it had a very high attack, and knew powerful moves like Reversal and Megahorn. But if his Herecross faints, he'll be alone. And as if right on cue, a flock of Staravia's flew from up above in the sky. And as we all know, Herecross's main weakness is flying, and the Staravia's were skilled and knew the move Aerial Ace. All the Staravia's started to dive from the sky, and the Heracross was to scared to move. Then, out of nowhere, the Slowking burst from the bushes and took the hit like a beast, barely even feeling the hit. Then they used Psycsic, and confused the Staravia's, making them fly into tree's and into each other. The trainer was still shocked at this miracle that a group of Slowkings burst out. He also realized the Slowkings were strong, and could take heavy blows and not faint. He decided to try to convince the Slowkings to join his team. They happily agreed, and the new trainer now had a more balanced roster of pokemon. And the Slowkings were happy, and they were reconized by their ability to take hits, not to give.


And everyone was happy. (Except for the Staravia's who crashed into the tree's.)
__________________
Fun Fact

cows produce 30% more milk while listening to Elvis Presley music.

Insects outnumber humans 1,000,000 to 1.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-03-2008, 04:55 AM
Jer49's Avatar
Jer49 Offline
Master Trainer
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 296
Default Re: The slowking trilagy

It's okay. Can you write some more chapters?





P.S. Break the pharagraphs up.
__________________
I DEMAND MORE BUTTER!!!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-03-2008, 05:20 AM
Orange_Flaaffy's Avatar
Orange_Flaaffy Offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: California USA
Posts: 2,136
Send a message via AIM to Orange_Flaaffy
Default Re: The slowking trilagy

You really need to flesh things in your story out. It is barely long enough to be a quarter of a chapter the way you have it written now. In place of just saying 'such and such happened' show us it happening.
Make us feel as if we are there, smelling the air and hearing the pokemon cries, and seeing the sunlight in their eyes.
Think of it as if you are watching a movie, only all your readers are blind and deaf . How can you make that 'movie' as real to them as it is to you?

I know you can do it ! :D
__________________
*Is 28 now*

My *Fanfics*Blog* Art
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com