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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 03-09-2008, 03:11 AM
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Talking the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

chapter 0: prolouge


Rio was slumped agianst a tree gazing the clouds. Rio was formidibal teen. He was fourteen had dark choclate colored hair and baby blue eyes. He was imbetween fat and obese and somewhat muscular. he had a zip up hoodie a white shirt and tattered pants. suddenly he herd the pitter patter of tiny feet. he looked up with his heart racing and saw it was only a Pachirisu. then he herd a thump thump thump. he jumped up and a man in a white lab coat shoved a sock in his mouth and put him in a gigantic ruck-sack. suddenly he was thrown on to a table and chained down. he looked around and saw a giant light above him it was so bright he could just barley see two men standing, talking. he looked to his left and saw jars lots and lots of jars with human organs inside. he looked to his right and saw a table with all the essential surgen equipment and a few torture devices. then he struggled and flailed every where. suddenly he herd a docter yell "****!". then a docter rushed over to rio and stabbed a siringe into his arm. suddenly everthing was a blur then he blacked out. when rio awoke he found himself floating over two dead bodies.
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Last edited by cam24020; 03-11-2008 at 01:05 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2008, 04:05 AM
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Default Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

Quote:
Originally Posted by cam24020 View Post
Rio was slumped agianst a tree gazing the clouds. Rio was formidibal teen. He was fourteen had dark choclate colored hair and baby blue eyes. He was imbetween fat and obese and somewhat muscular. he had a zip up hoodie a white shirt and tattered pants. suddenly he herd the pitter patter of tiny feet. he looked up and saw it was only a Pachirisu. then he herd thump thump thump. he jumped up and a man in a white lab coat shoved a sock in his mouth and put him in a gigantic ruck-sack. suddenly he was thrown on to a table and chained down. he looked around and saw a giant light above him it was so bright he could just barley see two men standing talking. he looked to his left and saw jars lots and lots of jars with human organs inside. he looked to his right and saw a table with all the essential surgen equipment and a few torture devices. then he struggled and flailed every where. suddenly he herd a docter yell "****!". then adocter rushed over to rio and stabbed siringe into his arm. suddenly everthing was a blur then he blacked out. when rio awoke he found himself floating over two dead bodies.
Excuse me, but there sould be only one thread for a story that you're posting. And is this a prolouge or chapter. Because each one must be longer than this.

~Jake
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  #3  
Old 03-09-2008, 04:14 AM
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Cool Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

im sorry a bout hat i goofed up and yes this is the prolouge
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  #4  
Old 03-09-2008, 07:50 AM
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Default Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

You would need to:
  1. Make it longer. Even if it is for a prologue.
  2. Definitely fix the spelling, grammar, and format. Those should be your top priority, because they are essential for your story.
  3. Sounds like you were trying to be detailed, which is very good, but for a prologue like this, the details shouldn't be the main focus on the storyline. Events should be.
  4. Avoid swearing. Anything that doesn't make it past the word filter really shouldn't be used.

Read the guides as well, I think they'd help.
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  #5  
Old 03-11-2008, 12:58 AM
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Talking Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

chapter 1: a startled begining

As rio floated above the corps he recognized the glasses and somewhat white lab coat but mostly blood stained. then he spotted a broken tube with tinted green glass as big as someone his age. he noticed it was spilling water in a pool under him he looked into the water and saw himself as a mew. he blinked twice as in thinking is this for real? then he studied himself. He was a mew thats for sure but he was different he was black he had one glowing circle on each of his sides and one on his head. his tail was split at the end with a glowing ring around the top. and strangly he had yellow eyes that seemed to glow as well.in the glistining reflection of the water he saw five other broken tubes.he herd footsteps running to the two gigantic doors.he looked around panikly and spotted a shimmer of light. he glanced up and saw a hole in the cieling. he quickly flew out right when he got outside he herd the slam of a door and the paniking yell"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"then rio loked to his left to his right and every where and he realized that he was in side a tunnel. So the only place he could go was up, suddenly he herd a siren go off" weeewoooooweeeewoooo" then he flew as fast as any mew has flown before. up and up he flew he cold see all the soil layers zooming past him. until "woosh!" he was above ground, right when he got above ground a huge explosion followed booming out of the tunnel. "whew" he swiped the sweat off his forehead with his tail. then he zoomed off into the woods. he was swishing bye tree to tree when suddenly he stopped. he twirled around flailing every where when he realized he was stuck in a spinaraks web.he thought to himself "what did i learn in pokemon survival class?"he paused then he realized that mew had the ability to use confusion. he felt a tugg on the web then another tugg. then he realized that the spinerak was awake! he quickly yelled "CONFUSION!"the spinerak intsantly wobbled and fell. then rio thought hard "how do i get out?" then he remembered that he had read a book on the study of pokemorphs and that if they concentrated hard enough they will change back into humans. so he cocentrated as hard as he could. then he felt all prickly and warm then all he saw was white then he felt like he was taller had no tail and had ears. then he took out his trusty poket knife and cut himself free. then he wandered for a while and found a hollowed tree to spend the night in. when rio woke up he herd splashing and croaking.
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Last edited by cam24020; 03-11-2008 at 01:04 AM.
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  #6  
Old 03-11-2008, 01:10 AM
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Default Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

Quote:
Originally Posted by cam24020 View Post
chapter 1: a startled begining

As rio floated above the corps he recognized the glasses and somewhat white lab coat but mostly blood stained. then he spotted a broken tube with tinted green glass as big as someone his age. he noticed it was spilling water in a pool under him he looked into the water and saw himself as a mew. he blinked twice as in thinking is this for real? then he studied himself. He was a mew thats for sure but he was different he was black he had one glowing circle on each of his sides and one on his head. his tail was split at the end with a glowing ring around the top. and strangly he had yellow eyes that seemed to glow as well.in the glistining reflection of the water he saw five other broken tubes.he herd footsteps running to the two gigantic doors.he looked around panikly and spotted a shimmer of light. he glanced up and saw a hole in the cieling. he quickly flew out right when he got outside he herd the slam of a door and the paniking yell"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"then rio loked to his left to his right and every where and he realized that he was in side a tunnel. So the only place he could go was up, suddenly he herd a siren go off" weeewoooooweeeewoooo" then he flew as fast as any mew has flown before. up and up he flew he cold see all the soil layers zooming past him. until "woosh!" he was above ground, right when he got above ground a huge explosion followed booming out of the tunnel. "whew" he swiped the sweat off his forehead with his tail. then he zoomed off into the woods. he was swishing bye tree to tree when suddenly he stopped. he twirled around flailing every where when he realized he was stuck in a spinaraks web.he thought to himself "what did i learn in pokemon survival class?"he paused then he realized that mew had the ability to use confusion. he felt a tugg on the web then another tugg. then he realized that the spinerak was awake! he quickly yelled "CONFUSION!"the spinerak intsantly wobbled and fell. then rio thought hard "how do i get out?" then he remembered that he had read a book on the study of pokemorphs and that if they concentrated hard enough they will change back into humans. so he cocentrated as hard as he could. then he felt all prickly and warm then all he saw was white then he felt like he was taller had no tail and had ears. then he took out his trusty poket knife and cut himself free. then he wandered for a while and found a hollowed tree to spend the night in. when rio woke up he herd splashing and croaking.
I guess it's okay, but you still need to work on your grammer a little bit.
1: In all but one sentince, you forgot to capitilize.
2: You forgot to capitilize Rios name.
Other than that, I guess it's okay.
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  #7  
Old 03-12-2008, 12:39 AM
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Talking Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

Rio glanced to his left and glanced to his right. Then he focused on the noise "the noise is coming from over there" he said pointing in front of him. He slowly inched forward until he came across a huge pile of bushes. Rio slowly opened the bushes and discovered a small pond.Right in front of him was a politoad! So he slowly reached into his pocket and felt for a pokeball. He found one yet it felt a little bit jagged. "aw well" he thought "at least its a pokeball". He slowly but liesurly pulled out what felt like a pokeball and he threw it. Then he hurd a thump then "OW!" "whose there?"strangly it was the politoed who was talking Rio just stood there gapping at the site of a talking politoad.The politoad loked around and cought Rio out of the corner of his eye. He gets up walkes out of the pond and comes over to Rio who is just gapping. The politoad walked up and slapped Rio right across the face.He then shoved a circular rock into his stomach. The politoad then said "hi im Jeremy but my old friends called me Jer" "so whats your name?"" Rio" Rio replied. Then Jer rolled his eyes and yelled "WHY DID YOU THROW A ROCK AT ME!". Rio shrugged "i guess i thought you were a pokemon" he said. Jer shrugged and yelled "OH SO NOW ITS OK TO THROW ROCKS AT POKEMON!" "no no no" Rio said "i thought it was a pokeball". Jer shrugged and rolled his eyes."oh thats ok then" he said "wanna be friends?" "sure!" Rio replied. Jer sqwatted down and said "ok then" then he began to flash rappidly then turn into a blinding light and then grew bigger and bigger until. He was a HUMAN! he looked ok better than Rio he had black pants on a dark green shirt with a light green swirl in the middle on and a green cap with no bill but a black hair like swirl coming off the top. He slowly got up and streched then he said "do you know how much it hurts to be kept up like that for three weeks?" "it hurts!". then he slowly pulled out a pokeball from his pocket. and put it in Rios hand then he said "here have this" "really!" Rio exclaimed "wow! thanks!" "yeah" Jer said "its my thing". Then he slapped Rio on the back and said "c'mon lets go!" so Rio and Jer walked through the forest. It wasn't long before Jer asks "so what pokemorph are you?" then Rio solomly replies "oh im a mew" then Jer jummps up as high as he can. then when he landed he yelled "REALLY IM IN THE PRESENCE OF A MEW! "WOW THATS AMAZING". "Its getting late" Rio decides" lets catch some sleep" so Jer and Rio find two abandoned hoveles and had the most wonderful dreams of politoads and mews.

TO BE CONTINUED
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Last edited by cam24020; 03-12-2008 at 04:09 AM.
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  #8  
Old 03-16-2008, 11:07 PM
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Cool Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

Quote:
Originally Posted by cam24020 View Post
Rio glanced to his left and glanced to his right. Then he focused on the noise "the noise is coming from over there" he said pointing in front of him. He slowly inched forward until he came across a huge pile of bushes. Rio slowly opened the bushes and discovered a small pond.Right in front of him was a politoad! So he slowly reached into his pocket and felt for a pokeball. He found one yet it felt a little bit jagged. "aw well" he thought "at least its a pokeball". He slowly but liesurly pulled out what felt like a pokeball and he threw it. Then he hurd a thump then "OW!" "whose there?"strangly it was the politoed who was talking Rio just stood there gapping at the site of a talking politoad.The politoad loked around and cought Rio out of the corner of his eye. He gets up walkes out of the pond and comes over to Rio who is just gapping. The politoad walked up and slapped Rio right across the face.He then shoved a circular rock into his stomach. The politoad then said "hi im Jeremy but my old friends called me Jer" "so whats your name?"" Rio" Rio replied. Then Jer rolled his eyes and yelled "WHY DID YOU THROW A ROCK AT ME!". Rio shrugged "i guess i thought you were a pokemon" he said. Jer shrugged and yelled "OH SO NOW ITS OK TO THROW ROCKS AT POKEMON!" "no no no" Rio said "i thought it was a pokeball". Jer shrugged and rolled his eyes."oh thats ok then" he said "wanna be friends?" "sure!" Rio replied. Jer sqwatted down and said "ok then" then he began to flash rappidly then turn into a blinding light and then grew bigger and bigger until. He was a HUMAN! he looked ok better than Rio he had black pants on a dark green shirt with a light green swirl in the middle on and a green cap with no bill but a black hair like swirl coming off the top. He slowly got up and streched then he said "do you know how much it hurts to be kept up like that for three weeks?" "it hurts!". then he slowly pulled out a pokeball from his pocket. and put it in Rios hand then he said "here have this" "really!" Rio exclaimed "wow! thanks!" "yeah" Jer said "its my thing". Then he slapped Rio on the back and said "c'mon lets go!" so Rio and Jer walked through the forest. It wasn't long before Jer asks "so what pokemorph are you?" then Rio solomly replies "oh im a mew" then Jer jummps up as high as he can. then when he landed he yelled "REALLY IM IN THE PRESENCE OF A MEW! "WOW THATS AMAZING". "Its getting late" Rio decides" lets catch some sleep" so Jer and Rio find two abandoned hoveles and had the most wonderful dreams of politoads and mews.

TO BE CONTINUED
Cam, your story ideas are okay, but if you want a story that lots of people read, like Selena Espeon; you have to make your chapters longer. Plus, the bold letters sound very wrong if you say them out loud. (Yes, I know it's a pokeball, but it just sounds wierd.) Please correct it; it's still haunting me in my dreams. And seperate the pharagraphs; I got blind. But I guess it's okay; please come out with another chapter.

~Jer49
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  #9  
Old 03-28-2008, 12:05 AM
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Talking Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

so what do you think now! Neo pikachu!!!!
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  #10  
Old 03-30-2008, 10:29 PM
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Default Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

PICK ME To be in your story!!
Don
Amphrados morph
He's halfway through all the time, can't change
Has a pickacu
Quiet, but fun to be around. He can be shy sometimes, but once getting used to a situation brings him out. Has the ears and tail and stripes.
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  #11  
Old 04-03-2008, 02:05 AM
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Default Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

Quote:
Originally Posted by cam24020 View Post
so what do you think now! Neo pikachu!!!!
Well, it's quite obvious you ignored everything Neo said even though it was only to make your story better. Really, you should concentrate on fixing grammar and spelling and organizing your chapters rather than making them longer. Long chapters do not necessarily make fanfics good, the quality does.

-leaves after putting in two cents-

- Kat
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  #12  
Old 04-03-2008, 05:52 AM
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Default Re: the worst thing that can happen to a pokemorph

Besides the spelling, grammar, and length Neo talked about you really need to work on formatting your story to make it easier to read. Something like this:
Quote:
Mimi was a happy Eevee pokemorph, frolicking in the flowers of a new spring day.


"Frolic, Mimi, frolic! The day is young and so are you!" Mimi's best friend, Chester the frog, shouted.


"But Chester," Mimi chirped, wrinkling her deformed nose, which made her very ugly to behold. "What is the meaning of life? How can I frolic with such suffering in the word?"


"You really have too much time on your hands, don't you?" Chester replied in a annoyed tone.
Only better written of course
Wow, I should copy and paste that from now on for formatting troubles *lol*
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Last edited by Orange_Flaaffy; 04-03-2008 at 05:54 AM.
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