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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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Old 02-17-2008, 11:35 AM
Full_Metal_Al's Avatar
Full_Metal_Al Offline
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Playing poker with Bigfoot.
Posts: 581
Lightbulb (Pokemorph)What we must do, for a dream, or a wish.(PG-13)

This story takes place in a world were scientist well take babys when there born and change there genes with that of a Pokemon, this 'Pokemorphs' were kept in a lab for studying, for the hope of makeing Super-Humans, some of this 'Pokemorphs' were more %Pokemon than others, and the more %pokemon thay were, the stronger thay were...

Oh and what do you think of the new name!

This Fanfic Inspired me to right my pokemorph Fanfic! (and gave me a name for the have human/have pokemon things, lol, I always called the half-breeds, Pokemorph makes more sense!)
Selena Espeon

Here is my comic:


Eithout a doubt the greatist thing ive ever made!

[Rateing]<Pg-13>Voilence, Language, and Suggestive Themes.


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7 years ago, there was an explosion in the lab, 132 of the Pokemorphes escaped, among this were 3 "Super-Morphs" they were unstopable, and judged a threat to mankind, thay were:

Name: Criss
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Mewtwo
%Pokemon: 87
Age: 22
Warning level: 100%

Name: Blade
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Deoxys
%Pokemon: 72
Age: 27
Warning level: 95%

Name: Angel
Gender: Female
Pokemon: Mew
%Pokemon: 84
Age: 19
Warning level: 90%

Our main chracters are:

Name: Courtney
Gender: Female
Pokemon: Ninetales
%Pokemon: 23
Age: 17
Warning level: 2%

Name: Jak
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Tyranitar
%Pokemon: 14
Age: 19
Warning level: 21%

Name: Seth
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Umbreon
%Pokemon: 22
Age: 18
Warning level: 7%

Name: Kimmy
Gender: Female
Pokemon: Flareon
%Pokemon: 21
Age: 18
Warning level: 3%

Name: Arthur
Gender: Male
Pokemon: Arcanine
%Pokemon: 27
Age: 17
Warning level: 12%

Name: Mimi
Gender Female
Pokemon: Eevee
%Pokemon: 20
Age: 16
Warning level: 0%

Here are there sprites(there all in one Image):


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If anyone wants to join please fill out this:

Name:
Gender:
Pokemon:
%Pokemon:
Age:
Warnning level:
Sprite:

Current people entered:

None

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Chapter 1, Part 1:
A trainer was walking out of a Pokemon Center, the ground was wet from a rainfall that had just passed, and the smell of pinetrees filled the air, It was an amazing day on this tough forest rhode... The sun was shineing now too.. As the young trainer turned his head to a sound he heard from his left, he saw a girl, running from something, heading his way.. He notice something else about this girl, it was very obviose, but somehow he had'nt notice it at first, but she had fox ears, and nine long tails that flowed behind her. Other than this though she seemed rather human.. but then he notice something else.. She was running from something, she was in a panic.. As the young trainer reached for his pokeballs, he saw what was chaseing her... It was a Steelix, he thought "she is a Ninetales morph right? why isn't she just fighting it?" the trainer then saw, as the Steelix got closer, that the Steelix was extremly large, the trainer turned around and ran back into the Pokecenter. The girl ran right by the Pokecenter, the Steelix missed running over it like a bulldozer, then, as the girl turned a corner she saw another pokemorph, an umbreon! She thought maybe he could help her! Then to her horror, when the Umbreon saw the Steelix, he ran into a small cave to the right... She saw this as a hideing place too, and desided to hide there. She dove for the cave, finding it very small, she had to smash herself up agianst the Umbreon morph, the Steelix tryed to fit into the cave, after about 2 minutes of smashing and bashing, it layed down in front of the cave to trape them in it.

The Ninetales morph looked to the Umbreon, and laughed slightly "Nice to meat you, my name is Courtney, whats yours?" he moved about uncomfertably, thay were traped in a three foot tall, three foot wide, five foot deep hole in the ground.. "My name is Seth, im sorry about this." She looked at him "Why? its not your fault, Its mine.." Seth looked at her in a slightly wierd way, then asked "Why is it your fault?" she looked at the sleeping Steelix, and laughed a bit "\I was messing around and knocked a rock off on it." Seth laughed slightly, "Ooh, thats why, I wonder how long it will keep us here?" He tryed to move around a bit, and fell. His head fell onto her cheast "HEY! What the hell are you doing!?" She yelled as she hit him on the head, he moved and rubbed his head, he was about to say he was sorry when the Steelix started to move agian, it moved away from the hole and stuck its fat head into it, and grunted, it then got up and started to slither slowly down the montian side.

"How long do you think we will have have to wait until we can leave?" Seth said, he looked at Courtney, whom was still red, he couldn't tell if she was angry or just embaressed, but the glare on her face told him she was angry.. "I'm still waiting for you to tell me your sorry." Seth looked kinda shocked then said. "I-I'm sorry, I didnt mean to do that... I would have said sorry sooner but..." Then at that moment, thay heard another vioce. "Seth, Were are you? Hello? Were did you get off too?" Seth looked at Courtney and moved around untill he could get out of the cave. A female Flareon Pokemorph was standing in the middle of the rhode. Se watched as he came crawling out of the hole with the Nintales morph, the look on her face turned from upset to enraged. "Who the hell is she? Why were you in there with her?!" Seth looked shocked. "You didnt just see that Steelix, the stupid thing traped us in there!" Courtney, he was starting to stand up at the time, dusting herself off, said. "What would it matter to you, are you his gilrfriend or something?" The Flareon blushed "No, were just friends but.. I still dont like him hanging around with other girls, not in tiny caves at least!" Courtney stared at her blankly.. "We were chased in there, I just met him about 5 minutes ago." The Umbreon was standing there, looking like he was upset that he was left out of the conversation, he grunted, and thay both looked at him, his tail twitched slightly.

"Ohh, Sorry..." He slightly blushed, niether of the girls was sure why though. Then the Flareon said. "Oh yeah, I forgot, hi, my name is kimmy, whats your's" she looked to the Ninetales "I'm Courtney... what are you two doing here, I thought I was the only Pokemorph for a long ways.. nice to know I'm not alone here though." Seth looked at her and said. "We were just passing trough, we are going to see our friend, Arthur." Just as Courtney was about to say something, the Trianer from befor, whom had followed the Steelix's Path o' Destruction to were thay are now, had yelled to get there attention. Thay all jurked there heads towards him, he flinched, slightly wishing he had'nt done this. Then cortney yelled out. "What? What do you want?" As she put her arm over her eyes to block the sun. The trainer walked over towards them. "Hey, I've never met a pokemorph befor, can I ask you something?" as he reached them, he couldnt help but stare at Courtney's tails, thay were so long and thay were just plain amazing.... Courtney notice this, and got a slightly upset look on her face. "Can I help you with something?" Just as he went to answer, a roar was herd from down the mountain, the Steelix was comeing back! This time with friends! Two smaller Steelix were following it! Thay turned to the hole, there were to many of them for them all to be able to fit in there this time!

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Chapter 1, Part 2:
As the Steelix grew closer, the Trainer reached for a Pokeball, he looked slightly paniced, but not worried... He pulled out an Ultra Ball, and inlarged it, looked at the Steelix and shouted "Now! Go Charizard!" A large red dragon appeared from the flash of red light, it snorted and took a battle pose. The 3 Steelix came closer and closer, and just as thay came withen 10 feet of the Charizard, it flew forward and tackled the bigist Steelix, and made it loss it's balance and fall down on the two smaller Steelix. The result being: All three of them rolling dowm the mountian like a rockslide... The three Pokemorphs were just standing there in shock at this, finaly the Ninetales spoke. "Okay, That was.. Easy?" The trianer returned the Charizard "You just have to know how to hurt them! Sending them rolling down the cliff was smarter than fighting them!" He said with a smug look on his face, then Courtney responded with "Umm, it was Charizard that thought of it, not you!" The trainer quickly pushed his way through them all. "I need to be going, and you three are in the way." Thay all just kinda glared at the Trainer for a second as he walked off. Thay then went back to there conversation.

"So, you are going to visit your friend, that's why you came through here?" the Umbreon turned to Courtney "Yeah, he is on the other side of Echowood Town" Courtney cut in. "Echowood?! Thats all the way on the other side of this island! it will take weeks to reach it!" Kimmy giggled slightly. "Yes, well our friend has something we need." Seth cut his eyes at her. "You aren't suppose to tell anyone, remember?" Kimmy cut back with. "Oh Seth, it's okay, she is a Morph too! shes alright!" Seth turned to her. "I guess she's okay, I don't see why we shouldn't trust her.." Courtney looked at him. "Fine then, tell me." Kimmy looked at both of them. "Okay then... well, he sais he knows something about the people who made us this way... You know.. In to Pokemorphs.." Courtney turned and looked at her. "Really!? I don't know how importent that is though, just knowing how something happened does tell me how to undo what happened." Umbreon cut in. "Yes, but it gets you one step closer! besides, I dont want to be changed back! To hell with normal people!" Kimmy giggled agian. "Well, your the only one, I'm sick of setting things on fire, and being scared to walk around dureing the day... Or in towns..." Courtney looked to Kimmy. "So am I, im tired of this tails too, its like haveing a giant pillow glued to my butt!" Umbreon laughed. "Atleast your tails are soft! Would'nt you hate to be a Steelix morph! It would be like haveing rocks taped to your butt! Hahaha" Both girls looked at him like he was crazy, he noticed this and stoped laughing. "So um, Courtney are you going with me and Kimmy to Echowood?"

"I guess so. I have nothing better to do, other than be chased by Steelix" Courtney said as she turned and looked down the mountian were the Steelix had rolled down minutes ago. "Fine then girls, then were off!" He put his arms over both there shoulders, Kimmy did'nt seem to mind as much, but Courtney spun around and grabed his arm. "What the hell are you doing?!" he blushed, and looked panic. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it!" She turned and started walking down the rhode with her arms crossed, then Kimmy shouted to her "Um, Courtney, you're going the wrong way!" She stoped. "I know that.. " She turned around and started walking the other way. "Then, we're off now?" Seth said as Courtney walked by, she did'nt look upset anymore though, she kept walking when she passed them. "I guess thats a yes then..." Seth said in a slightly confused vioce. Kimmy turned and followed her. Then seth followed her. Kimmy and seth were following about ten feet behind Courtney, whispering to one another. "Kimmy, have you noticed that she acts really pissy every time I even act like im going to flirt with her." Kimmy looked at him "Maybe she does'nt like you, ever think of that?" She said, turning slightly red. "She doesnt act like she hates me though.. " He glanced up at Courtney, walking in front of him. Her nine long tails made her nearly impossable to see from behind.

The three of them walked on for hours, untill thay saw a truck of somekind comeing down the rhode. Afraid that the truck might be a Collector Truck, something that all Pokemorphs feared, thay were there for one reason: to catch the escaped Pokemorphs. Thay all desided to hide behind a near-by pile of large rocks. "Oh my God, I just new there would be a Collector near here!" Kimmy Screamed in a panic. Seth turned to her and put his finger over his mouth. "Sssshhhhh, yelling kinda deffeats the piont of hideing doesnt it?" she blushed "I'm sorry..." the truck grew closer, and when it passed by thay all sighed... it was a moveing van! As thay were all getting ready to leave from behind the rock, thay heard a High-pitched, fast-passed, annoying, scratchy, vioce from behind them "What the Hell are you doing on my land!?" thay turned around, it was a Scizor Pokemorph! he looked more than 50% morphed, in other words, it would'nt be fun if you pissed him off. "S-sorry, we were just passing trough..." kimmy said, slightly upset. the Scizor responded. "To bad it does'nt matter! I'm going to have fun spilling your blood!"

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Chapter 1, Part 3:
Kimmy looked at the Scizor, the look on her face changed from panic to a almost evil grin "Hey, you giant fire ant, Don't forget that two of us are fire type, we can kick your ass in our sleep!" the Scizor snickered "Exactly! but you will never do it while you're awake!" He then jumped high into the air and vanished, Seth had a blank look on his face. "Were the hell did he go?" Then from above there head "AH-HA! Now fear the power of.. " he smashed into the near-by rock pile, he had missjudged were he was at! "Oh man that crap hurts.. hey what the hell are you three laughing at!" He jumped to his feet, and readied an arm to punch the flareon, as he did, Seth through himself inbetween them. "Picking on a girl huh? To scared to fight me?" The Scizor looked back at him "No, you are the weakist one here, why would I be scared to fight you!" Seth's face turned grim. "Fine if I'm so weak, then you won't mind fighting me?" The Scizor laughed. "Fine then you idiot, If you are so ready to die, then come on!!" The Scizor slashed an arm forward to fast to see and cut deep in to Seth's face, throwing him back into Kimmy, who cought him in her arms. "Come on! is that all you got, you little Piss-Ant!!" Seth got up, spitting blood, the cut had sliced a hole through the side of his face. The rings of light on his ears and tail lit up. "COME ON!" He threw a punch forward with pure dark energy, and it smashed into the Scizor's chest, he heard a crack... it was his hand. "DAMNIT! THAT HURTS!" he grabbed his hand, his fingers were nearly broken on Scizor's iron-hard skin, but it was not all for lost.. The Scizor's chest was cracked and bleeding... "HA! you call that a punch, I did'nt even feel it!!" Scizor threw a punch forward, Seth tryed to block it with his arm, the result being a 'crack' as scizors iron fist nearly broke his Right arm.

Seth staggered back a bit, and fell to his knees. Kimmy ran to his side asking if he was okay. The Scizor Taunted. "Aaawww, did I hurt the babie's arm, I am so sorry." The Scizor walked closer, and grabed at the flareons arm. Seth grabed Scizor's arm to try and stop him. "This is between you and me, not them" He said with his right eye half closed from the pain on the right side of his face. The Scizor looked to him about to sat something. before he could Kimmy said. "I dont need a Hero, I can fight him if you need me to!" Scizor snickered. "Truely a touching moment, but you are all going to die, what does it matter what order you die in!" He blasted a fist at Seth's head, Seth then vanished into thin air, the Scizor looked truely confused.. "Hey back here you Numbskull." seth shouted from behind Scizor, he had used faint attack. The Scizor tried to turn around, but before he could, Seth attacked. A black ball of energy quickly appeared in his mouth, and shot out, hitting the Scizor in the back, nearly blowing a hole in his back. "Wow, you have hurt me now.. now.. now I will have to kill you FASTER!" He slashed his arm forward, hitting Seth just hard enough to knock him backwards, but not enought to kill him, the large gash in his cheast was far from good though.. He looked to Courtney then Kimmy "You two get out of here, I will hold him off while you Two run." Kimmy Screamed back "If your trying to impress someone then stop it! getting yourself killed will not make anyone like you more!" The Scizor turned around, to say something back to her Seth guessed. He saw this as a chance. He had to do it now! "Extrasensory!" Seth yelled, as the powerful psychic energy over powered the Scizor, his metal skin then started to twist and brake under the pressure of the psychic attack. He was bleeding and his bones were brakeing. With one last 'crack' the Scizor fell to the ground, dead.

Seth fell to the Ground, he was bleeding everywere. He was about to pass out.. He slightly saw Kimmy and Courtney, through his half closed eyes, he felt them lay him on his back, he then fainted.. Kimmy and Courtney were very upset, seth was very badly hurt, and thay were hours from anywere. Kimmy was saying she heard the Scizor start to move agian, over and over, but it never did, it just lie there lifeless. Courtney had torn off pieces of the jackit she kept her bag, but never worn, for bandages. Then when things seemed like thay could'nt get worse, it started to rain... Kimmy, who deeply hated the rain, tryed hideing. Being a fire type, the rain evaporated on touching her, makeing a cloak of fog around her. Courtney did not have this problem, she wasn't sure why though... She had started collecting rain water in a jar she had in her bag, and useing her tails to keep seth some-what dry and warm. (by sitting with her back to him, and her tail laying over him) After about an hour, thay heard another vehicle comeing, Kimmy tried hideing, but really did'nt need to, the fog did that for her. Seth and Courtney were already hiden. as the car got closer, thay saw it was a ranger's jeep! Maybe, just maybe thay would help us! "Kimmy, go flag that jeep down! Maybe thay can help us!" Kimmy looked at her in a strange way, and screamed. "Are you insane, you forget, if we are cought we go back to the lab!" Courtney screamed back, after glancing back at Seth. "Just do it!" The Flareon girl got up and ran over into the rode. The jeep was about 200 yards away.. She released large flames into the air, hopeing the driver would see them. The Jeep finally got to her, and she ran up to the driver. "Please you have to help us! My friend is badly hurt!" The driver looked at her, then noticed her ears.. "You! You're a pokemorph!" the driver Yelled, the girl said back. "Yes and my friend is hurt, you must help!!.... Or he will die..." she was starting to cry at this piont, although you couldnt see it through the rain. The driver looked up at her. "Okay I'll help. You are still... mostly human and its my job to help you." She smiled. "thank you."
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I no longer frequent this site. If you wish to contact me still, go to gaia-online. Here is my account there. I will help you get into gaia as best I can.
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.

Last edited by Full_Metal_Al; 02-20-2008 at 12:08 AM.
  #2  
Old 02-17-2008, 11:37 AM
Full_Metal_Al's Avatar
Full_Metal_Al Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Playing poker with Bigfoot.
Posts: 581
Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

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Chapter 1, Part 4:
The Driver of the Jeep got out and walked with Kimmy over to were Seth and Courtney were. Courtney looked up, she looked exited, to see the Ranger, but still looked anguished at the same time. She turned around to Seth, and said. "I just met this idiot, and he is already trying to get himself killed." She said it like it was a joke, but you could tell, under her vioce she sounded like she ment it. The Ranger bent down beside Seth, and quickly started to stand back up. He looked Kimmy in the eye, and said with a grim expresion. "We need to get him to the Hospital, now." Kimmy started to say something, her expression turned too a that of grief. "Okay... But please... Let us go afterwards.. If you are going to turn us into the lab... were not going.." The Ranger looked at her, as though he was judging her for risking her friends life to stay away from that lab.. then he thought why thay wanted to stay away from the lab... maybe death was better than going there.. "I, will see what I can do, But if any higher ups findout. You may have to leave real fast.. even if you must leave your frie.." Kimmy cut in. "NO! We aren't leaving him! I would Die before I would let him go back there!"

The ranger had left back to his jeep to get a stretcher, Kimmy and Courtney were alone there, save for Seth whom was Passed out.. Courtney looked to Kimmy, and smiled as she said. "You two love each other don't you?" Kimmy looked back at her, her face was already glowing red. "N-No, not really.. We're just friends... " Courtney looked at Kimmy and smiled. "Well, have you two kissed yet?" Kimmy started to blush even more. "Yeah, once.." Kimmy smiled at Courtney, then looked to Seth, and put her hand on his. "..Or twice." At around this time, the Ranger came back with the Stretcher. Kimmy quickly moved her hand away and blushed a little. The Ranger Lowered the stretcher and placed Seth on it, everything was quite while the Ranger moved Seth too the bakck of the jeep, it was etra long just incase something like this ever happened, and thay needed to put a person lieing down in the back of the jeep. After this, still no words were exchanged. Everyone got into the Jeep, Courtney and Kimmy had to fit both themselfs into the front seat. Finaly the ranger broke the silence. "How did he get hurt?" Kimmy looked to the ranger, her expression turned slightly depressed "He was Attacked, by a Scizor morph.. He killed it though.." The Ranger didnt respond, just kept driveing.... Kimmy whom was sitting by the window, began to fall asleep... as she drifted off to sleep, she started haveing a dream, she hadn't had in a long time...

Kimmy and Seth were walking through a small cornfield, just as twilight started to dawn. Thay both looked about 11 or 12 at this time, Although Kimmys hair was longer at this time. Thay were talking to one another, Most likely about something that happened years ago, that kimmy had long forgotten.. as thay reached the each of the corn field, thay ducked through the barbed-wire fence, Seth had a buckit full of corn that thay had appearntly stolen from the corn field. Thay walked a little ways up to a small hill, as thay got to the top, thay both sat down and looked towards the sun, there was the a tiny slit of light comeing from it, just as it was dessapearing behind he earth itself. Kimmy and Seth were sitting about 2 feet apart at the time, slowly ended up closer and closer to each other, untill thay were close enough that Seth could put his hand on hers, thay looked at each other, in a way that can not be put into words, thay slowly moved closer and closer untill....

"Hey, Kimmy, Wake up! Were here, they've already taken Seth in the Hosptital!" Courtney was talking to Kimmy, she was barely awake.. She thought to her self. "Why are you are always woken up from dreams at the perfect time.." As she got out of the car and walked into the Hospital, still half asleep, She thought to herself "We havn't kissed in years.. why did I have that dream.. Was it what Courtney asked me?" she didn't even noticed that she had walked into the Hospitals waiting room and sat down.. she wanted to go back to sleep.. then she thought that she better not, What if Seth wakes up?... "Hey, you awake?" Courtney asked.. Kimmy had started falling back asleep.. this time she was haveing a dream about running through the rain, as a normal person... she was never sure why she had this dream all the time.. she hated the rain.. She tryed to wake herself up by talking to Courtney. "Do you think he will be alright?" Courtney looked at her and smiled. "Yes, he will, I know so..... You know, I heard you say his name in your sleep." Kimmy blushed. "I was dreaming.. " Courtney looked back at her and smiled "About what?" Kimmy blushed. "About the first time we kissed.... Its been over 4 years sense we've kissed.." She looked to the door of the room that Seth was in. She was smiling, But a single tear roled down her face...

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Chapter 1, Part 5:
An hour had past sense that had taken Seth into the room.. no one had came in or out... After about another 20 minutes, when Kimmy was drifting off to sleep, A young nurse ran up to the two girls. "I think you two need to come with me in to the young Hybrid boys room." Courtney looked up at her, she had forgotten that thay were called Hybrids by the ones who made them this way, so thay were sometimes called hybrids... She thought for a second. "Why do we need to come with you?" the Nurse looked behind her. "There are 3 men in Gray coats and hoods here looking for you." Courntey looked paniced, she new what this ment. "Damnit, collectors! What did you tell them!" The Nurse looked at her in a reassureing way. "We said we had one here, but thay escaped about 30 minutes ago, now come in this room here." Courtney noticed she was holding a 'Warning: do not enter.' sign. she turned around and woke Kimmy up, she told Kimmy to follow her into the room, thay both got up and went in the room, Kimmy looked like she was sleeping the whole time.

The nurse followed them in the window less room, and placed the Warning sign over the only small window. Kimmy sat in a chair riht beside Seth, who was still sound asleep. "How is he doing, he will be okay right?" Kimmy sighed looking at a nurse, the nurse smiled and nodded. Courtney had turned a char around and placed it up agianst the door, she was sitting in it (with the back of the chair faceing the door) looking out a small space in the window that wasn't covered by the sign. She was sitting on her knees, in what looked like an unconfertable posetion. Thay waited there for over an hour with nothing happening, Untill Courtney suddenly made a small squicking sound, and moved away from the window and pressed her back agianst the wall. Kimmy new something was wrong. "Kimmy what is..." at that time the door knob started to move, it was locked, but thay were still scared.. after a few seconds of them messing with the door knob, thay heard a mans vioce yell. "Damnit! JUst brake the danm thing down!" Courtney screamed and ran over to a near by buckit full of needles, adn grabed the biggist one she could find, and started blowing fire on it. As Kimmy started to stand up too, there was a loud BANG on the door, the docter and 2 nurses who were in the room backed away from the door, then a second vioce called out. "We know your in there you danm half-breeds, come out so we can end your usless life!!"

Courtney ran over to the door with the needle in her hand, and unlocked and open, Kimmy screamed at her, but she knew what she was doing, one of them ran in and started to say. "So you.." When Courtney cut him off swing the needle at him "DIE YOU BASTARD!" the needle stabbed into the dudes neck, he fell to the ground, the needle went around 4 inches into him.. the second one went to pulled out what Courtney assumed was a hand gun, so she Quickly realeased a huge fire blast on him, at this time Kimmy was starting to stand up. But Courtney had done this before, Collectors are less human then thay were, made only to hunt down and kill all Hybrids, or Half-Breeds, or Pokemorphs, or what ever you wanted to call us. the first person appeared to be dead already, the second was badly burned, she then Breathed a pure stream of fire onto the second persons face, untill thay at last died too... Courtney fell to the ground and started crying... she hated doing that.. but she had too... At this time everyone else was in shock, even Kimmy, nd Seth whom had now awoken from his deep sleep. he got up and walked over to her, ripping off the tubes and such running to him. He Set down on one knee beside Courtney. "It's okay. It's okay. We all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes." he started to pat her on the shoulder, he thought he was going to be jumped on but, she didn't jump on him... she whiped tears from her eyes. "T-Thank you." she knew Seth was just trying to help, even though he wasn't, she didn't want to hurt his feelings right now...

The three of them left the Hospital, Seth was rather unharmed for how badly he was hurt by that Scizor morph. Coutney had stoped crying now as well, Kimmy still looked half asleep.. Thay walked for about 30 minutes threw the woods behind the hospital, it had stoped raining, but it was already dark. "Okay girls, I think we need to find a place to sleep for the night.. Although I think Kimmy has already found one." he started to laugh, Kimmy was falling asleep standing up... Courtney looked at Kimmy then Seth "I guess we do need to find a place to sleep... " after about 5 more minutes of awlaking around, thay found a small cave, thay all walked in, Seth, being able to see in the dark, ran off two or three Zubat, the only thing living in the cave at the time. Kimmy then found a nice spot and fell to sleep in minutes, Courtney was sleeping at the very back off the cave curled up with her tails, useing them like a blankit. Seth was laying about 7 feet closer to the entrance of the cave then she was. Kimmy was laying up agianst the wall inbetween them. Seth couldnt help but stare at Courtney, she couldn't see that he was stareing after all, she couldn't see in the dark.. but he could... He drifted off to sleep about 20 minutes after everyone else....
__________________
I no longer frequent this site. If you wish to contact me still, go to gaia-online. Here is my account there. I will help you get into gaia as best I can.
http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/10332051

I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.

Last edited by Full_Metal_Al; 02-23-2008 at 11:17 AM.
  #3  
Old 02-17-2008, 11:49 AM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

reserve
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
  #4  
Old 02-17-2008, 11:51 AM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Interesting plot, nice. ^__^ I think you should space those big paragraphs though, new readers can get scared if you make those big paragraphs. xP
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Old 02-17-2008, 12:03 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

see this is alot nicer of a post, when i saw you posted here i was ready to go off on you, but now i dont feel like reporting you as much. i know i should brake down the paragraghs, at least its not 1 big block of text
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
  #6  
Old 02-17-2008, 12:05 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Full_Metal_Al View Post
see this is alot nicer of a post, when i saw you posted here i was ready to go off on you, but now i dont feel like reporting you as much. i know i should brake down the paragraghs, at least its not 1 big block of text
I'm not being nice because your going to report me, heck, it's your fault.

I'm just telling you about the story, and in your other story you can't take it, that's what I'm trying to tell you. :/
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Old 02-17-2008, 12:12 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

for one its not my fault, you came in my thread brakeing rules, and i got pissed, no one will take your side on that. 2 i never said you were being nice because of that, i was stateing that this is a better post, you are telling me whats wrong without flameing, and yes saying "this sucks" no matter what follows it, is flameing.
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
  #8  
Old 02-17-2008, 03:50 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Lol.

I understand you thought it was flaming, but I'm a generally funny person when I'm angry. Don't take "this sucks" literally, lol. It's my way of saying "this needs some work". xP

Also, I never said you said I was being nice cause of it, just letting you know. ~
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Old 02-17-2008, 05:02 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Thought it was awesome.... until I noticed another fan fic that had pokemorphs in it.... but still a great story !!!!!!!!
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Old 02-17-2008, 07:47 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

ive always liked the idea of pokemorphs, so i didnt steal the idea, osmone else just used it first, i do admit i got some ideas from that person, and i will give credit when i get this fanfic more in order
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
  #11  
Old 02-17-2008, 08:49 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

One question: Are you typing this in a Word Processor? Because you've a TON of spelling/grammar errors - so many I'm not even going to bother listing them out. :/ I'd recommend running a check when you're finished writing to check for those kind of mistakes.

As for your description, it's decent. You should probably focus less on physical description and work on emotional elaboration. All I've read so far is run, run, run, talk, talk, talk. You ought to try to flesh out your characters' feelings. It's difficult to balance it with physical stuff, I know; it's one of the things I really used to struggle with, but it's possible. IT would also help out with length as well, which is what this is in desperate need of.

I'd also try and use a thesaurus more often. Your vocabulary (from the looks of this, anyway) seems rather minimal. Try using synonyms to spice up your sentences by using more exotic words. For example, instead of "sadness," try words like grief, sorrow, anguish, etc. It'll REALLY help, trust me.

It's. . . original is all I can say. I'll wait for you to post more before actually rating this and making a solid judgment, however.

Good luck writing! ^__^
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Last edited by Kayden Javlaíakín; 02-17-2008 at 08:56 PM.
  #12  
Old 02-17-2008, 08:55 PM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayden Javlaíakín View Post
One question: Are you typing this in a Word Processor? Because you've a TON of spelling/grammar errors - so many I'm not even going to bother listing them out. :/ I'd recommend running a check when you're finished writing to check for those kind of mistakes.

As for your description, it's decent. You should probably focus less on physical description and work on emotional elaboration. All I've read so far is run, run, run. You ought to try to flesh out your characters' feelings. It's difficult to balance it with physical stuff, I know; it's one of the things I really used to struggle with, but it's possible. IT would also help out with length as well, which is what this is in desperate need of.

I'd also try and use a thesaurus more often. Your vocabulary (from the looks of this, anyway) seems rather minimal. Try using synonyms to spice up your sentences by using more exotic words. For example, instead of "sadness," try words like grief, sorrow, anguish, etc. It'll REALLY help, trust me.

It's. . . original is all I can say. I'll wait for you to post more before actually rating this and making a solid judgment, however.

Good luck writing! ^__^
um.. thank you? im not sure... i knnow i spell bad.. and i dont have time to right a bloody book, im sorry on that, ill right morehere in a little while, right now that leftover steak pizza is calling my name, haha
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
  #13  
Old 02-18-2008, 12:26 AM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

sorry about the double post, but i just posted the next chapter!
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I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
  #14  
Old 02-18-2008, 12:52 AM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Better than your last story. There are still some mistakes lying around. Do something about it, or if it carries on and if you do not improve, It'll be the same old way FMA. Don't give up yet.

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Old 02-18-2008, 05:45 AM
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Default Re: Pokemorph fanfic Romance/Action kinda thing?[PG-13]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trainer17 View Post
Better than your last story. There are still some mistakes lying around. Do something about it, or if it carries on and if you do not improve, It'll be the same old way FMA. Don't give up yet.

~Trainer17
i never give up, sometimes im just in a bad mood at someone trips my 'go insane for no reason' wire, i think everyone has forgiven me for what happen in my last fanfic, lol. anyways, ive just made the sprites for all of the characters! soo you dont hafe to draw them from imagenation! I spelled that wrong!
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I no longer frequent this site. If you wish to contact me still, go to gaia-online. Here is my account there. I will help you get into gaia as best I can.
http://www.gaiaonline.com/profiles/10332051

I am sorry about my dissapearnce from this site, but to be honest I grew out of pokemon a bit xP I still play the games, but my pokemon sprite work, and comics I did here, just bore me now... I miss some of my friends I had here though.
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