Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing » Author's Corner

Author's Corner Share your ideas with other members and come here for helpful writing tips.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 12-16-2007, 11:23 PM
Alex the Charmander's Avatar
Alex the Charmander Offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pants.
Posts: 1,039
Default Advice needed

I'm writing a naruto fanfiction and was wondering if it's OK or not. just some feedback or advice wanted. preview:

~~~~~~~~~
Chapter one
The woods are a dangerous place

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The air in the dark forest was damp and humid. The whole place smelled like something dead. The blurry shapes of trees seemed to be rushing past as Fox ran. She could hear the footsteps of her partner, Ananji, behind her and past that the stomping of the creature that they ran from. She looked back and yelled, “Is it getting any further behind?” and she heard a reply that was, “No, If anything, it’s catching up!” he seemed to be right, the crashing sounds were getting louder and she heard a roar. She heard Ananji yelp, and the crashing sound of a tree falling, almost hitting both of them. It’s getting closer, Thought Fox, instinctively jumping to the side as another tree fell. The stench of the creature wasn’t coming from behind them anymore, it was coming from up ahead. Fox stopped, she could hear Ananji talking.

“Stop, Fox! Up ahead, the trees form a solid wall. There’s no getting past it.”
“Is the creature past it?” said Fox.
“Yeah, I can see it.” Said Ananji. A roar was heard from a distant place beyond the trees, but the stench wasn’t moving so the creature seemed to be waiting.
“That’s why you have the byakugan and I don’t” said Fox.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Alex
__________________

[Aviendha: Zebstrika][Rand: Zekrom][Nynaeve: Haxorus][Egwene: Musharna][Lan: Scolipede][Moiraine: Samurott]
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-17-2007, 01:37 AM
Team Devastation's Avatar
Team Devastation Offline
Master Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: erm... hard to say..
Posts: 323
Send a message via AIM to Team Devastation Send a message via MSN to Team Devastation
Default Re: Advice needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex the Charmander View Post
I'm writing a naruto fanfiction and was wondering if it's OK or not. just some feedback or advice wanted. preview:

~~~~~~~~~
Chapter one
The woods are a dangerous place

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The air in the dark forest was damp and humid. The whole place smelled like something dead. The blurry shapes of trees seemed to be rushing past as Fox ran. She could hear the footsteps of her partner, Ananji, behind her and past that the stomping of the creature that they ran from. She looked back and yelled, “Is it getting any further behind?” and she heard a reply that was, “No, If anything, it’s catching up!” he seemed to be right, the crashing sounds were getting louder and she heard a roar. She heard Ananji yelp, and the crashing sound of a tree falling, almost hitting both of them. It’s getting closer, Thought Fox, instinctively jumping to the side as another tree fell. The stench of the creature wasn’t coming from behind them anymore, it was coming from up ahead. Fox stopped, she could hear Ananji talking.

“Stop, Fox! Up ahead, the trees form a solid wall. There’s no getting past it.”
“Is the creature past it?” said Fox.
“Yeah, I can see it.” Said Ananji. A roar was heard from a distant place beyond the trees, but the stench wasn’t moving so the creature seemed to be waiting.
“That’s why you have the byakugan and I don’t” said Fox.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Alex
Every time a new person speaks, put a new paragraph.
Hope that helps,

~Jake
__________________
[Squitle Egg]

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-21-2007, 07:19 PM
autism's Avatar
autism Offline
Master Trainer
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: What's it ta you stalker?!
Posts: 440
Default Re: Advice needed

Ananji Hyuga? Not a bad preview.
__________________
If you love rap/hip-hop you have to listen to this one. PM me to tell me whatchu think. I think Ludacris made another future chart-topper with this ****.http://www.mixmatters.com/hot/2007/L...ity_Chick.html^^-Anti-bullying Campaign-^^
--Put this in your sig if you hate bullies--
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:29 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com