I'm writing a naruto fanfiction and was wondering if it's OK or not. just some feedback or advice wanted. preview:
The woods are a dangerous place
The air in the dark forest was damp and humid. The whole place smelled like something dead. The blurry shapes of trees seemed to be rushing past as Fox ran. She could hear the footsteps of her partner, Ananji, behind her and past that the stomping of the creature that they ran from. She looked back and yelled, “Is it getting any further behind?” and she heard a reply that was, “No, If anything, it’s catching up!” he seemed to be right, the crashing sounds were getting louder and she heard a roar. She heard Ananji yelp, and the crashing sound of a tree falling, almost hitting both of them. It’s getting closer, Thought Fox, instinctively jumping to the side as another tree fell. The stench of the creature wasn’t coming from behind them anymore, it was coming from up ahead. Fox stopped, she could hear Ananji talking.
“Stop, Fox! Up ahead, the trees form a solid wall. There’s no getting past it.”
“Is the creature past it?” said Fox.
“Yeah, I can see it.” Said Ananji. A roar was heard from a distant place beyond the trees, but the stench wasn’t moving so the creature seemed to be waiting.
“That’s why you have the byakugan and I don’t” said Fox.