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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 07-22-2007, 01:29 AM
Jaden0527's Avatar
Jaden0527 Offline
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Default Disaster Minded

This Fan-Fic is about a war between digimon, pokemon, and humans. This war has been going on for five years and people who haven't fought yet are starting to do something about it. This is mainly about Rage, a fifteen-year old boy who knows the legend of the Grand Pokeballs like the back of his hand. The Grand Pokeballs have the power to grant five wishes to whomever collects the balls(one wish for each ball). Rage plans on using the balls to stop the war and get his memory back. Obviously, there are pokemon, digimon, and humans in the way. Rage will be able to handle him for the fact that he woke up with various abilities, some wich are still unknown, that he will use to save the world and his mind. I say his mind because for some reason, since his mind has basically no memories, often his head hurts and either enables him from using his powers or makes them uncontrollable.

Chapter 1(part 1):Take Off
Rage sat up and took in the fresh air. It was rare to even find fresh air because of weapons humans use in the war. Rage's grandma's house was basically unknown so very few people have seen it, leaving it out of pollution's way. When the wind picks up it does get a little polluted though.

“Rage, get up and get in here !” Grandma yelled. “Grandma, leave it to her to ruin a peaceful moment.” Rage said struggling to get up. Rage quickly fell back down and cringed. “Stupid leg, heal already.” He always scolded his injuries as if they were a child who lied about breaking a vase. After three tries he was able to get into the house.

“What took you so long Rage, You know I don't have patience !” Grandma continued to yell. “You know you shouldn't keep a woman waiting.” Rage didn't look her in the eye. That always got him scared. He decided to look off in different places as if he didn't cared. In reality, he was always listening. “Come on Grandma, cut me some slack. You know I got hit with a brick break from that Machamp that passess through here to take your nasty vegetables.” Rage argued. His grandma looked confused. “Even if I knew what a brick break was I wouldn't cut you any slack. You know I have back pain, but I still carried you from the battlefield to this house. Twenty miles it was.” Grandma shot back.

Rage grabbed his head and started to scream. Grandma stood there and waited for him to stop. “Kiera, hurry and get down here with the medicine!” Rage screamed. “I'm coming, I'm coming .” A voice said. Seconds later a red-haired girl in a robe came down stairs.

“Kiera, I keep telling you, you may have fun in this house, but you cannot come downstairs dressed like a ****. I didn't raise you like that.” Grandma shook her head as she talked. “Yeah, you didn't, but my mom did.” Kiera said. “Hello, man in pain here !” Rage shouted.”Look Grandma, I wouldn't be here if my mom hadn't gone to war. Until she comes back I'm supposed to do what you tell me, but I'm eighteen, I'll do what I want.” Kiera said as she put rubbing alcohol on Rage's arm. Kiera quickly gave Rage the shot and went back up stairs.

Rage got up off the ground and looked at Grandma. “What was it you wanted to tell me Grandma ?” Ken asked rubbing his head. “You have to go now.” Grandma said. “What? Why?” Ken asked. “Well, people are starting to find out about the Grand Pokeballs. Each side wants to use it to power up their army. Only a person with a pure heart can use the Grand balls. Someone like you.” Grandma replied. “Someone like me?” Ken started. “You don't even know who I am. I don't even know who I am.” “But you have the power to stop them. I packed a bag with the necessary items for the adventure.” Grandma used her puppy dog pout face. Grandma wasn't as old as you'd think because her daughter had a baby when she was eleven, so it didn't look like a whole bunch of wrinkles scrunched together. She did heavy lifting when she was little. That's why she has back problems, in case you were wondering.

“Alright, I'll do it, but I need to know how you'll stay safe.” Rage said. “Barely anyone knows where we live, we'll be fine Rage. Just go.” Grandma said pushing Rage out the door. “Alright then, Grandma, bye. You can even tell Kiera bye I guess.” Rage said. “It's not good-bye Rage, it's see you later.” Grandma said to reasure him that they'd see each other again.

Grandma closed the door and looked out the back window. The Machamp was back. Grandma grabbed a metal handled broom and put her hand on the doorknob. She was trapped in a conversation before she could twist it. “That's not the only reason you made him leave. Isn't it?” Kiera asked. “You're, right, it's not.” Grandma siad. “Will he ever find out why it isn't?” Kiera asked. “If he doesn't come back, he won't and that's what I'm hoping for.” Grandma replied. “Alright Grandma, you're starting scare me.” Kiera said. “Good Kiera, you should be.”
End of Part 1

Sorry it's so short. It looked longer when I typed it. I know there is very little mention of pokemon, but pokemon really do have a place in this story, as well as digimon. So please comment on this, I feel it's my best, but no one seems to comment anymore, despite my asking. I really need comments so I can improve on my fan-fic writing. That's why I write these. So I can be critiqued and use those critiques to get better.

Last edited by Jaden0527; 07-22-2007 at 01:35 AM.
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  #2  
Old 07-22-2007, 02:39 AM
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Phantom Kat Offline
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Default Re: Disaster Minded

A Digimon/Pokemon crossover? I hope you really know where you're going with this. If you manage to pull it off, it will be one hell of a story.

That introduction could have been better, it felt as though it left me hanging. Why was there a war? What caused this war? Greed? Troubles? Also, where did the Grand Pokeballs come from? Were they man made? How did the legend of the Grand Pokeballs come to be and how did Rage know about it? There's just so much you can add to this.

Description is also another thing you could add and make the story better. Don't rush through scenes, take your time. Was the house grand and spcious or was it small and cramped? The chracters could also be described, all at once or bit by bit. Rage's pain and future powers is another opportunity to add some description. Like this:

"Rage's head felt as though white hot knives were digging deeper and deeper into his delicate mind. Speaking was almost impossible as he grabbed the side of his head and sunk to the floor in pain. All he could do was scream as his grandmother looked at the scene with horror filled eyes."

I don't think the pain was that intense but you get my drift. All of this will help the reader get a better view and understanding of what you're tyring to write.

I think you have a good idea here so I strongly encourage you to continue.

Good luck at writing and hope I helped! :)
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