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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 11-23-2004, 11:57 AM
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Default Grenade

At Neo's request I'm posting this one up. Enjoy, and take note that it was written quite some time ago, before Iraq, although I suppose coincidently enough it has relevence. May God bless those who fight for peace

Grenade
My war buddies were whispering quiet prayers to a savior as we huddled in the veil of shadows within that tent. I sat there, staring into nothingness, when a grenade topped into our tent and caused all of our prayers and contemplations to be now taken over by screams. Within the fuzzed disbelief of my mind I saw the son that I’d never have, his external joy for gathering a willow branch and going out into the small woods beyond to seek his fantasies of some mysterious adventure. I saw the two daughters that would never be created, their personalities forever cast to the depths of the void, never to be released. To never see the evergreen trees, the brightness of fall, and the pristine of year’s first snow. I saw how they thought I didn’t understand them and how I hid how well I actually did. I saw a girl back home with tears, with a finger never to be clad with a ring of gold. A beauty never to be hid by a white cloth, only to be cast aside when all joy breaks loose. I wanted to scream at the tyranny of the vision but I was already screaming in terror. The grenade came back to focus. SO calmly it sat there like an egg given no mother to roost on with a thick blanket of feathers, ready to creak open to release its sorry around the world. I let my thoughts slip and let pure instinct drive my pulsing body. I lifted the grenade and I cast it outside; I am not going to die today.
© M.V.R. "Fayt"
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  #2  
Old 11-23-2004, 09:27 PM
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Default Re: Grenade

Man, I'd have to say, this is probably one of your best poems. I think the last line is probably the best finish possible.

Keep working on them, and show the others if you get around to doing it.
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Old 11-26-2004, 06:01 PM
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Default Re: Grenade

Wow, that is an exccelent poem!

Keep up the good work!
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Old 11-26-2004, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Grenade

Hey, this is one great poem. Great job! ;)
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Old 11-29-2004, 07:29 AM
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Default Re: Grenade

*is speechless*

I have never read anything so deep on these boards before. I am in utter awe. That poem was very meaning fuil, and I love that last line.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:26 AM
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Default Re: Grenade

Thanks all, I'm glad you all liked it. I always get a little nervous when posting something on a message board and once again you all showed me theres no reason to be. I guess all those years of creative writing class paid off . Yes I am published incase you're curious.

And cheers to the other Matt! After all, Matthew does translate to 'gift from god'.
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