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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 06-24-2007, 01:46 AM
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Default Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Hello peoples! Today I will, finally, post the Naruto fan-fic I've been writing (not necessarily typing) for 6 months. This is centered on a girl named Kaiumi Uchiha and her team(s). Kaiumi's personality is greatly dependant on mine, and her friends are represented by mine. (take for example her friend Hyato, is based, somewhat, off of my friend *ahem* Trevor *ahem*) Anyways, this is a LONG, violent, PG-13, pwnsome,(etc.) fic. (Sorry, but I'm on a sugar rush) ahem, uh, you may notice some characters from the actual anime/manga (say, Iruka-sensei) but very seldom. The timeline is a bit odd, stuck in between Kakashi Gaiden and the normal anime/manga time. Uh, let's just say it's when Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, etc. are all 6-7. Now, please be consructive, but not too harsh on rating it. Last note, since Kaiumi is an Uchiha, and I do somewhat go along with certain events from the actual Naruto series (not plagerism I swear) she does eventually get killed by Itachi. Aww, poor thing.

Chapter linkage:
VOLUME 1
1: Enter Kaiumi Uchiha
2: Team troubles
3: Begining the challenge
4: The test
5: The test part 2
6: The test part 3
7: Kaiumi's "Happy Birthday"
8: A new mission
9: A new mission part 2
10: A new mission part 3
11: Attack of the rogues
12: Attack of the rogues part 2
13: Attack of the rogues part 3
14: Attack of the rogues part 4
15: Attack of the rogues part 5
16: Mission complete
17: Mission complete part 2
18: Calm before the storm
19: Calm before the storm part 2
20: Calm before the storm part 3
21: The Chuunin exams
22: The Chuunin exams part 2
23: The Chuunin exams part 3
24: The Chuunin exams part 4
25: The Chuunin exams part 5
VOLUME 2 <--Clicky for chapter list ^_^
VOLUME 3 <-- Click-ith =D
VOLUME 4
VOLUME 5
VOLUME 6
VOLUME 7
VOLUME 8



Enter Kaiumi Uchiha
The academy bell had finally rung; I was out of there in an instant. No more classes for the day; or anymore to be exact. As I rushed out the front doors with several other kids I couldn’t exactly recognize, I proudly wore my new ninja headband, signifying that I was now an official kunoichi (female ninja) of Konoha (Hidden Leaf Village). My blue “kimono” (the top was a zip-up vest…thing, and the bottom was a sort of skirt with “flaps” in the front and back) swayed by the opening on the sides of my legs and my long, black hair whipped in my face. But the bangs covering my left eye were held stationary.*Good thing too, now there isn’t much of a risk for people to see…then again, I am going to have to start using it in battle on certain missions from now on. Ah well, who cares?*

“Kaiumi!” a boy shouted. I spun around to meet one of my best (okay, only one of three) friends, Takeshi. It’s not that I was unpleasant, no; I was a very calm person. People just… avoided me during my childhood and most everyone up till now. I never knew why, but I assumed it had something to do with me being an Uchiha clan member. After all, most people did fear the Uchiha clan’s power. Takeshi was wearing his favorite jacket; red with white flames on it.

“Hey, Takeshi! What’s up?” I replied, a grin on my face.

“You busy tonight?” He asked me.

“Sorry, I am. You know teams are chosen tomorrow for our class, I’m going to be forced by my mom to prepare for my ‘life on the road.’” I waved my hands in the air for the emphasis on sarcasm.

“Oh…well, alright then. See you tomorrow!” and he ran off while tying his new headband around his head of (really) dirty blonde hair. I couldn’t exactly tell, but I think Takeshi had a crush on me. I mean, I liked him too a little, but then there was my other annoying friend Pachi. Pachi liked me for sure, a lot. But he was seriously irritating; I didn’t even know how the heck we became friends. Anyways, I didn’t like him back so he got somewhat jealous of Takeshi and they became rivals. I always chucked at the idea that it was all over me.

“Takeshi!!” I shouted. He turned and paused, “Promise me you’ll work hard! Oh, and don’t be upset if we’re not on the same team!” He smiled, nodded, and then continued to head home. *Yeah…I just hope we are on the same team. Pachi would get to be even more of a nuisance if he was with us, and I doubt that Hyato would get to be on the same team, too, I mean usually only one girl was put on a team…. Well, I guess tomorrow we’ll see!* Then I continued my run home, happier than ever before…ever since Yuki disappeared that is.

* * * * * *

7:30 AM I was out again. I was rushing to the academy as fast as I could in the crisp November morning air. I’d be really early (the explanatory meeting wasn’t till about nine), but I wanted to just walk around, maybe sit by the dock for a while for some peace and quiet. I was just like that, nobody ever questioned me (not surprisingly as only Takeshi, Pachi, Hyato, and my family ever did talk to me). After the ten minute or so run I arrived at the empty school yard. I smiled.*Today’s going to turn out really well, I can feel it!* A strong gust suddenly blew, pushing away the bangs over my left eye. Anybody watching could see the scarlet of it and in force of habit (and fear if anybody saw it) I quickly put my hair back in place.

* * * * * *

Around 8:45 I walked into the classroom. Many people were already there, but the majority of the class was still missing. I sat down at an empty bench and sighed out of boredom. *That’s what I get for coming so early I suppose….*

“Yo, Kaiumi!” I turned my head. It was Hyato. Hyato was a member of another “royal” clan of Konoha; the Hyuuga clan. But, the clan was split up into two houses: main (where as one might expect, the members are treated magnificently), and the branch house. Branch members were there to protect the secret of Hyuuga clan’s special kekkei genkai (bloodline limit): the Byakugan. Byakugan appeared in all members of the entire clan at birth. It was in the form of white eyeballs able to see nearly everything. Hyato was a branch member, but she didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she was a very cheerful person. Ironically though, her parents and older brother were killed when she was young, placing her into the care of her aunt and uncle who were main house members. But she still wasn’t treated as an outcast and her uncle secretly taught her Hyuuga taijutsu (which was only normally taught to main members). Anyways, she told me a ton about her life and stuff since we were close friends.

Hyato was wearing a classic white tee and beige shorts that morning. I smiled as she walked in.

“Hey. Good morning.” I said. She sat down next to me and smirked.

“Takeshi here yet?” she whispered. I told her a lot about my life too, including my crush on him which she always liked to pick at me with.

“Oh, be quiet. No, he’s not.” I crossed my arms and looked away, pretending to be mad, though I still couldn’t hide the grin on my face. She nudged my ribs with her elbow. *Heh, 15 minutes is going to pass by slowly.*

And it did. Other kids were flocking through the classroom. Our teacher, Iruka-sensei, had a stack of papers in his hand when everyone was there. Takeshi sat down next to me, and when I meekly smiled and said “hi” Hyato started to chuckle.

“Congratulations for all of you who have passed…” *Blah, blah, blah. Congrats, yeah, I know. We’re now Genin, teams of three… I know this already! Cut the crap, just announce teams!*

“First group,” he stated. “Is-” *Not me, not me, not me. Second group, blah! Third, still don’t care. Fourth- hey! Hyato! Let’s see, and that one dude Sarosu, and Hamari, interesting. Fifth team, blah. Sixth, more blah. Seventh group, aw come on! Me already!! Eighth, ninth-*

“Finally, group ten is Kaiumi Uchiha, Takeshi Kamisu, and Pachi Rimata.” I looked up in surprise, and then sighed, somewhat in annoyance. *Dang it, now it’s going to be a heck of a time shutting up Pachi, just my luck.*

“Your jonin teachers will be announced later in the afternoon. Until then, you are all dismissed.”


~~~END of chapter one. You guys will find out who this "Yuki" person is later, so no asking me "who's Yuki?" Ah yes, and if you guys want me to make sprites of the characters, just tell me okay? OK! Start rating!!! w00t!
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Last edited by Frozen_Mystic; 12-31-2007 at 03:42 AM.
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  #2  
Old 06-24-2007, 02:18 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

this is very insterting..i like it
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Old 06-25-2007, 02:42 PM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Awesome start. I don't really watch Naruto, so I pretty much had no idea what this was mainly about, but it's caught my attention anyway. And, from what you've already shown me, this is gonna be good.

Anyway, I hope you can get the next chapter up soon; this is, as you said it would be, pwnsome!
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  #4  
Old 07-02-2007, 12:11 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Thanks to my....2 current readers. Anyways, I was planning on doing chapters 2 and 3 (yesterday) but got caught up in something, soooo chapter 2 today and 3 and 4 sometime later this week! ^^ Enjoy!

Team Troubles


“Finally, group ten is Kaiumi Uchiha, Takeshi Kamisu, and Pachi Rimata.” I looked up in surprise, and then sighed, somewhat in annoyance. *Dang it, now it’s going to be a heck of a time shutting up Pachi, just my luck.*
“Your jonin teachers will be announced later in the afternoon. Until then, you are all dismissed.”

I looked back a row or two to find Pachi staring at me with his head cupped in his hand. I felt my eye twitch and turned back. *Whyyyyyyy?* I let my head hit the desk, then quietly raised it and banged it again twice. Most of the kids already head out for lunch.

“Hey Kaiumi,” Hyato stood up, “See you later, okay?” I tilted my head.

“Sure, see you.” I paused for a moment then got up too and walked to the door…only to hear Pachi starting to bicker.

“You’d better not steal Kaiumi from me!” Pachi hissed.

“I don’t think she likes you that way Pachi.” Takeshi retorted.

“What?! She likes me! You know it!”

“Then why is she so annoyed with you, huh? It’s me she actually accepts.”

“Just shut up!”

“You shut up!

“No, you shut up!”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!” I shouted. “Pachi, you be quiet! You’re giving me a headache! Takeshi, you just ignore him! Now both of you! Go and eat your lunch… I’m outta here.” And with that I walked out the door, down the hall, and outside. *If this is how it is now, I’ll be in a living nightmare next week….*

It was nice out though, so I could enjoy myself. The sun was shining brightly, there were barely any clouds in the sky, and a slight breeze was blowing; it was perfect. That is, until I heard footsteps. My hearing was very acute, and so was my vision (no surprise to due my….), and, well, all of my senses were fine tuned.

“Hey, hey, hey! Kaiumi!” Pachi was running up to me. What a sight he was outside. He wore a green sweatshirt (well, a large green stripe, then gray, then brown, and green again) with green camouflage pants, to top off brownish silver hair. He looked like a running tree!

“Listen, I’m sorry about that scene with Takeshi. I just… I dunno, got--.”

“Agh! I don’t want to hear it!” I put my hands over my ears.

“But--I--.”

“I’m not in the mood right now. I’m sorry, but just go. I don’t want to talk, okay?” and I walked off without a second glance. Sure, it was kind of mean, but I had a headache, I was bummed as it was, and (for his sake) we were already on the same team.

But the mission right now was to survive and keep myself sane for the rest of the day.

“K--Kaiumi, wait up!” Pachi ran a few steps forward and stopped. I did too, and turned around.

“Pachi, not now! You’re just annoying me. So let me have some peace and quiet. We’ll talk later, okay?” I softened up just a bit.

“Oh, um, okay. Sure, I guess. See you after lunch then.” Then he waved me farewell and ran off. *What a pain in the butt.*

Anyways, I decided to sit on the bench not far from the front door of the academy.
My lunch was light; just some sushi and rice cakes. A treat my mom packed for today I guessed. I smiled and leaned against the bench with my legs crossed. I felt so relaxed. *Too bad it will only last a half hour. Heh, nothing good stays forever I suppose.*

“Kaiumi!” a voice called. *Oh no, what now?!* But it wasn’t Pachi; it was Hyato and her team members Sarosu and Hamari. For once I was relieved today.

“Hey, looks like you three are getting along well.” I mocked. Hyato only sneered in response.

“What about you and the guys? Where are they?”

“I don’t know. Pachi, once again, got on my nerves so I sent him packing. And I don’t know where Takeshi went….”

“Aww, feeling left out?” Hyato put her hands to her hips. I stared in annoyance.

“No. Just be quiet.” I muttered. Hamari turned to Hyato.

“What are you girls talking about?” he asked. Hamari wore an iron grey leather jacket and jeans; not very common among Shinobi. Hyato paused.

“Uh, nothing. I guess we’ll be going now.” She smiled.

“’Kay, see ya.” I saluted (it was my usual way of saying goodbye instead of waving). Hamari, Hyato, and Sarosu started to walk off when Hyato turned.

“Oh, one more thing. Who’s that little creep--?”

“No, not again!” I groaned.

“No, it’s not ‘him,’ sorry--.” She continued.

“Hyato!” I broke her off.

“It’s--.”

“Lalalalala! I’m not listening!”

“Heh, that still bugs you? Whatever, bye!”

I sighed somewhat pleasurably. Most people would never know what just happened. And, they never would. Just a picture I drew with a certain misread caption that Hyato just loved to tease me with. No more explanation at the cost of my dignity. But, I was really good at drawing. It was just a simple pastime hobby.

I turned back to my lunch. *Time to finish up I guess.*

* * * * * *

Everyone was back in the classroom waiting for the news about our new jounin teachers.



“Alright!” Iruka-sensei started, “I will now announce the names of the jounin team leaders!” *Okay, now I don’t care. First, blah, second, blah, third, blah. Fourth is Hyato’s team so… Megumi Yuuko. Huh, she sounds cool. Fifth, don’t care; sixth, don’t care, seventh, blah, eighth, blah, ninth, blah. Okay, finally! Team 10’s sensei!*

“Lastly, group 10’s jounin leader is Satoshi Takahashi. They will meet you here in around 15 minutes.”

Various chatter soon ensued among the kids in the classroom. *So, Satoshi Takahashi, huh? Wonder how he’s going to be like… though, he might be the first to find out about my… special ability…. I guess it doesn’t matter. Still, let’s see how long he’ll take!*

~~END Yeah, since this is early in the series and you should really pay attention to the title, don't make assumptions too early. EDIT: And, Karaihi (if you ever read this) you know very well what the "little creep" thing is so don't say anything! Well, that's it. Hope you liked it!^^
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Old 07-09-2007, 12:26 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Once again, nice chappie. You're doing a great job with introducing everyone, and the bits of humor you threw in made the story all the more enjoyable. I look forward to reading your next chapter(s) whenever you're able to put them up.

Awesome job; keep it up!
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:08 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

This isn't half bad. Not half bad at all. And usually I'm Simon Cowel when it comes to critiquing fanfics. Consider that a compliment to the thirty-second and a half power.
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Old 07-10-2007, 09:51 PM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeveeking929 View Post
This isn't half bad. Not half bad at all. And usually I'm Simon Cowel when it comes to critiquing fanfics. Consider that a compliment to the thirty-second and a half power.
heh, thanks! Well, I actually had to edit the first (ahem) 7 chapters to make them sound good at least 4 times so, that's really great to hear. And Angel, thanks too! You guys are great! ^^ *gives each a cookie*
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Old 07-20-2007, 01:19 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

... well, nobody seems to be active. Meh, no matter. Chapter 3!! Yay! Oh, and I almost forgot. I will be using a lot of Japanse words (especially for jutsus) like neechan (sister) or the Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu stuff. So if yur not fluent in japanese A's are ponounced as AH, I is like EE, U is like OO, E is like EH, and O is just O. And then there's the U after O thing. It's just like the I after E in sensei. Okay.. no matter! Chapter 3!

Beginning the challenge

10 minutes of nothing but waiting was taking forever and driving me crazy. I even considered falling asleep. I hated how waiting for something just dragged on and on….

Hyato’s sensei came and went. She had reddish brown hair that fell to her shoulders and wore the classic chuunin vest, so there wasn’t much to observe. Others came and went… till only three teams remained. Team 1, team 9, and good old team 10. I had my head cupped in both hands and then turned to Takeshi.

“Hey, Takeshi, we’ve been waiting for-- how long?” I asked. He looked up at the clock then yawned widely.

“Thirty seven minutes.”

“How long is he going to take?!” I impatiently shouted.

“How long is who going to take?” A voice asked. It was another jounin, he had brown hair and had an energetic feeling seemingly “emanated” from him.

“Oh, uh, the leader of team ten. That’s my team,” I pointed to
Takeshi with my thumb, “and his too.”

“Well then… that’s me!” he beamed. I paused. *This is Satoshi-sensei? I guess my cousin didn’t lie. He is different!*
“What are you waiting for? Come with me!” he turned and started to walk to the door.

“Oh, um… yes sir!” and I hurried after him with Takeshi and Pachi following behind me. We went across a few halls, up a few floors, and up to the roof of the academy. Satoshi-sensei walked over to the rail and sat on it.

“I guess you guys can introduce yourselves now.” He stated.

“But, um,” Pachi spoke up, “what exactly are we supposed to say?”

“Things you like, dislike, hobbies, dreams, wishes, etcetera.”

“Okay then… how about you first?”

“My name is Satoshi Takahashi. I like many things, and don’t dislike much anything.” *Yeah, just wait till you hear Pachi….* “Anyways, I never really had a dream, or many wishes worth of note. And my hobbies are pretty much to myself. That answer your question?” All three of us stared at him.

“… uh… sure….” Pachi muttered. I turned to Takeshi.

“We didn’t really learn anything new about him.” I whispered.

“Alright,” sensei started up again, “now it’s your turn.” He pointed to Pachi.

“Okay, um, my name’s Pachi Rimata. I like um…” he glanced towards me. *Oh, dear God….* “I like… turtles. And… I dislike him.” He pointed to Takeshi. “And my dream is to get my face put in that mountain! To be a Hokage!” *Yeah… good luck with that.* Satoshi threw him a look half saying “wow you’re and idiot” and half “this is going to be interesting with you.”

“Okay, now you, on the left.” He pointed to Takeshi.

“Okay! My name is Takeshi Kamisu. I like swimming and racing and I don’t like to fail. Or Pachi over there. My dream is to be Hokage also, and I will succeed.” He enthusiastically said.

“Hey, I’m gonna become Hokage!” Pachi snapped.

“Yeah, dream on!” Takeshi replied mockingly. Then random generic insults flew and they broke into a fight once again. I sat there simmering for a second till I blew my top.

“WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP?!” I shouted. In an instant they stopped and sat back down. *Heh, thought so.*

“Oh, wow. I guess you’re last then.” Satoshi-sensei looked surprised.

“The name’s Uchiha Kaiumi.” Now he looked even more impressed. “I like peace and quiet, although it’s hard with these two around. No offense guys. I don’t like to wait unless I’m relaxed, and as you can see I have a bit of a temper. My dreams and wishes… I don’t want to say. They’re way too personal… and… destroyed anyways. As you can assume, I was trained in Katon jutsus” (fire element techniques) “among other abilities….” I twiddled with the bangs over my left eye, and was given a fascinated look

“Anyways,” I continued, “There is one thing I’ll advise you to not do in front of me. I know you were the leader of my cousin’s old team. Never compare me to him.” I warned. Then silence.

“Hmm, you seem to be the most intriguing. But I remember who you’re talking about. You do look quite a bit like him, and your eyes seem to resemble-- uh--.” I was gritting my teeth so hard I might have accidentally pierced my tongue.

“Yes. Um, I think this will be a very different experience training you guys. Oh, speaking of which, you three will have a test tomorrow.”

“A test?! What kind of test?” Pachi demanded.

“A survival test. You see out of the ten teams that passed it is expected that at least three will remain, if not less. You see, the academy graduation test, was only to see how many of you were qualified to become Genin. This test, which every jounin will do, although mine is a bit different, will confirm those numbers and see how many official Genin there are.”

“WHAT?!” all three of us exploded.

“Well, see you at nine tomorrow morning! Bring your ninja gear and meet the training grounds behind the academy. Oh! I almost forgot… it is forbidden to eat breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“And why not?!” I retorted.

“Well, with all the running, jumping and gut-wrenching action… there’s an 89 percent chance of puking!” He chuckled. I shrank back in shock. Then he jumped off and disappeared. I looked worriedly at Takeshi and Pachi.

“So… who’s this cousin of yours?” Pachi asked. I glared at him.

“If you really knew me you’d know that after Yuki left I have become very ‘sensitive’ about that so stay out of it!” I snapped.

“So his name’s Yuki?”

“I said STAY OUT OF IT!” and I stormed away. *Damn it, this is going to be harder than I thought….*

~END okay not much to say... who's this Yuki after all? *creepy voice* EDIT: Oh look... chocolate!
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Last edited by Frozen_Mystic; 07-20-2007 at 04:06 PM.
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Old 07-20-2007, 03:39 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Yet another great chap. You're doing a pretty good job introducing everyone, as well as the upcoming events in the story. As usual, you've got me looking forward to the next chapter.

And, sorry it took so long to reply. My computer was being ignorant, so it took a little longer than it should have...
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Old 07-20-2007, 03:44 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Quote:
Originally Posted by angel_fire View Post
Yet another great chap. You're doing a pretty good job introducing everyone, as well as the upcoming events in the story. As usual, you've got me looking forward to the next chapter.

And, sorry it took so long to reply. My computer was being ignorant, so it took a little longer than it should have...
Yay! Thank you very much! FREE BROWNIES!!!
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Old 07-27-2007, 02:55 AM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Ugh, I'm posting chapter 4 but please let me tell you guys.... my Microsoft Word is being a pain in the a**.. So, if you see anything wierd (it keeps going Japanese on me and I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP!) don't blame me. I mean, I'll try to get as much as I can, but if there is something like a circle period that I might have missed, I'm sorry.

The test

*That Pachi! He doesn’t even know who Yuki is! Yuki’s not even a guy! She was a hero! How the heck would he know anything?! And then there’s “him….” He’s always been put at the top! I’m always told I’m just like him, always just compared! And even Satoshi-sensei now too? I even told him not to! That’s it… I’m not letting this slip any longer… I’m going all out with this. Heh, I’m probably going to surprise everyone… all the more reason I suppose!*

Anyways, I was fuming now, stomping down the halls and floors, all the way home. My parents weren’t there when I arrived. But then again, I didn’t really care. Either my mom was out shopping, or both of them had a mission for the Konoha Police Force. I trudged into my room and flopped lazily onto my bed. But the side I landed on only brought reason to my bad mood.

It was a family photo taken when I was five. My parents stood together with me off to the right. But I wasn’t alone. An older girl held me “piggy-back" style and I was smiling so widely, both my hands showing the peace sign. I must have been so happy then… So care free. I was so glad to have a sister like Yuki... but... then something happened…. About six years ago.

A demon with nine tails and a horrifying lust for death, destruction, and blood came attacking the village. During that time, Yuki, was 14, and at chuunin rank. She was sent out as a re-enforcement for the village.... A hero….

I had pleaded she would come home safely…. But that was and impossible dream. She never returned home. Nobody was even able to find her body. Then I was all alone. Ever since I entered the academy a year before, nobody was there beside me; only Yuki. I was always given these weird looks like I was some sort of evil spirit. I was always given a look of fear, yet it still had respectable admiration... but that was probably only of power.

I never understood why. It was then I decided I would try to be just like Yuki, if not better. I wanted to train hard, but a certain pain in my heart always told me to keep things hidden from others. That was only natural, I thought, though. All those stares must have meant they feared the Uchiha clan, me. But I still didn't want to be so lonesome and show off, that's why I kept (and still keep) my abilities hidden.

Yet, I still had a little rivalry with my cousin. He was always the best, and me just below him. I wanted to graduate from the academy as soon as possible, and beat him. Then again, it was because his power that I formed a deep hatred for him over the years. Even though I will admit I did stay back of my own accord, I still couldn't stand that Itachi was always so good. He was closer to reaching my dream than I was. But, then, I wasn't so alone anymore, and that's why I kept myself back. I'd find my own way to beat Itachi on my own, from where people thought was unexpected. That's why I was where I am now.

But remembering such a past only brought me into spiraling sadness. I turned over onto my side, silent tears streaming down my face.

"Why…?" I quietly asked myself.

* * * * * *

8:30 AM I was up and out the door. My full sling backpack bobbed around everywhere while I ran. I was all set, mission, survival, pretty much anything, I was ready for it. The sun shone meekly through the November morning mist. Yet, I was still early. I couldn’t help it really. It was just something I picked up from Yuki- neichan.

Then again, that was a good thing. Whatever it was we were doing out there, I'd need a precise plan on how to do things, and react to certain movements, because, if I was correct, since Satoshi was also my cousin’s sensei, I’d be even more prepared if we were doing what I thought we were.

Still, weather, wind speed, the angle of the sun, I had developed an incredible strategist mind. That factor alone probably made me the most formidable person on the team (besides Satoshi- sensei that is) *I'll pass this test for sure.*

* * * * * *

When the training field was under my feet I had fifteen minutes till nine. That was perfect timing. So, I laid my backpack down, and sat at the brink of the small river. *Okay, let's see.... The wind's blowing about five miles per hour. Okay, so if I needed to throw a shuriken or kunai it would be… ten degrees off original target. Alright there are plenty of leaves that are on the ground since it’s the beginning of November. So, moving around on the ground quietly will be a tad difficult. And… hmm, oh yeah! Once the mist clears the sun should be....* I pointed to the sun with two fingers, then following the direction of its light pattern. *It’ll be shining sixteen degrees north east. Those are favorable conditions....*Then for a little bit I sat there in peace and quiet. That is...Until I heard random grunts, noises and shouts. *Let's see... 10 meters, tops... two people, fairly loud and... Oh jeez... Pachi and Takeshi are racing again? Aren't they? By the looks of it... er, sound, Takeshi’s winning.*

"Jeez, are those two going to fight twenty four seven now?!" I asked myself.

"So those guys fight often, huh?” A voice behind me inquired. I practically jumped up. Then spun around.

"Satoshi- sensei?! How long have you been here?!" I demanded.

"Hmm, about as long you have. So what were you doing? Measuring The sun’s light pattern?”

"...Uh... no…." I lied.

"Oh, alright then. You say you're the cousin of Itachi, I just thought you'd be more like him, and actually…."

I was staring at him hostilely again.

"That's right.... You hate that. Never mind then. Oh look, here come your friends."

Takeshi and Pachi came panting up to us and set their backpacks down next to mine. "I won, sucker!" Takeshi whispered.

"Well, now that everyone's here we can get this started! Listen up you three, your 'test' will be treated like an actual mission, and failure is not accepted without price. Your objective…."He held up two bells.

"Wha? What are those for?” Takeshi asked.

"Each of you is to get a bell by noon." Sensei replied with a smile.

"But there are two bells and three of us! How will the last person complete the mission?" Pachi objected.

"Well, you guys figure out the true answer to this and you'll find out how that one person passes the test. Now there is something I do have to say....Those who fail... it could be just one person, or it could be all three of you. The ones that are subjected to failure, even if they find the real answer and work hard to pass with your teammates, will be tied to a log and will not get any lunch." *So that's why we weren't allowed to eat breakfast…. Cheapskate!*
"Now..." Sensei continued, "If nobody finds the real answer and maybe even if one of you gets a bell, that or those people will be sent back to the academy. You will need to use your shuriken, kunai, and your other weapons and abilities to get a bell. Unless you have the strength to kill me, your mission will fail."

"But isn't that too dangerous? What if you do get killed?" Pachi asked.

"Do you really think that's possible?" Satoshi- sensei joked. Pachi glanced nervously at me.

"I'm not sure…."

"Okay, on my signal.... Start!"

~~END Okay, I know I did Kakashi's bell test, I don't care. I spent 3 hours typing (but mostly editing) this thing so live with it. So you finally know who Yuki and Kaiumi's cousin is. EDIT: Yes I know, it's obvious and anti-climactic. Once again, live with it. Besides, those two factors alone puts up the majority of the plot. So, yeah, I'm tired, cranky, finished with the chapter.... I'm gonna go to Youtube.
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Last edited by Frozen_Mystic; 07-27-2007 at 04:39 AM.
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  #12  
Old 07-27-2007, 11:52 PM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

As usual, great chapter.

This is getting all the more interesting, and as far as I can see, no 'Japanese' errors are in there.

So great chap, can't wait for the next. (Sorry this review sucks )
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Old 07-28-2007, 04:45 PM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Quote:
Originally Posted by angel_fire View Post
As usual, great chapter.

This is getting all the more interesting, and as far as I can see, no 'Japanese' errors are in there.

So great chap, can't wait for the next. (Sorry this review sucks )
Nah, it's okay. I don't care if it was extremely fancy or just plain . But thanks. ^_^ whew, I actually caught all the Japanese crud.
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Old 07-29-2007, 12:26 PM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Lol, I don't get why it was doing that in the first place. I use Microsoft Word all the time, and it never does that to me... Of course, with the simple fonts it gives me, I don't think it could. xP
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Old 07-29-2007, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: Aggression of the Dragon (Naruto fan-fic)

Quote:
Originally Posted by angel_fire View Post
Lol, I don't get why it was doing that in the first place. I use Microsoft Word all the time, and it never does that to me... Of course, with the simple fonts it gives me, I don't think it could. xP
Yeah, that's kinda because I need Japanese in Microsoft Word for my Japanese lessons this summer. the fact that it won't turn off though, really bugs me though. Anyways... if I'm not mistaken, you were on pretty early when you posted that? I guess it doesn't matter, 4:26 AM probably means 7 for you. And chapter 5 should be coming soon everyone!
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