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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 05-18-2007, 01:30 AM
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Default Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Note: I might make some changes to the chapters and such but, the plotline won't change a bit.

Rate every once and a while to help me with my writing!

Rules
1: This is one of my first Fan-Fics. Please try not to be too harsh.
2: Try not to spam too much.
3: Enjoy


Chapters
Chapter 1- Hearthome
Chapter 2- Giovanni
Chapter 3- A past life
Chapter 4- Regions
Chapter 5- Veilstone
Chapter 6- HQ
Chapter 7-

(Chapters that are in red are being worked on and blue ones are Chapters that are done. Blue ones are links to the Chapter




Prologue
No, I- I can’t... it’s not- I Can’t! Rachel struggled. She shook and hopped up and down in a uncomfortable plastic chair. The ropes dug into her wrists. He ripped and tattered clothes itched her dry tanned skin. “Let me go!” Rachel screamed on the top of her lungs.

“Shut up!” A man in a black formal suit smacked Rachel’s head. “Choose. You or your pokemon.” He paced for a long time. “Hurry up!” When he screamed his forehead wrinkled and face tightened. From his looks he’s around 45 and nice looking. Boy, that doesn’t mean a thing!

“No!” Rachel replied. “I’m not going to choose!”

“Your choice.” The man whispered.

“You can’t make me....” Rachel screeched. The ropes got tighter. She could feel the ropes cutting her blood flow. Rachel could imagine it, her hands dying from lack of blood and having to be cut off. A chill went down her spine.

“Fine, then have it your way...” the man took out a pokeball. “Hypnosis!” A Hypno came out and sent beams of energy to Rachel. “It was your choice, remember that...” He and his Hypno made their was out of the dimly lighted warehouse.

Rachel could feel the Hypnosis set in. “D-dad....” She refused to drift off. “N-no!” Rachel felt her consciousness fade away. She blacked out....
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Last edited by EspeonSun; 05-31-2007 at 12:01 AM.
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  #2  
Old 05-18-2007, 01:41 AM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Seems like an interesting story. I look forward to the next chapter.
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:53 AM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Chapter 1- Hearthome

The forest floor itched Rachel’s unprotected skin. Her pants were ripped and covered with black patches. Her shirt was covered with dirt. Rachel slowly awoke. Where am I? Who am I? That’s what first came to Rachel’s mind. Something heavy laid in Rachel’s ripped jacket pocket. It rang. She pulled out a weird red thing. Rachel pressed a button.

“Rachel Coro, age 14,” A woman’s voice said. “ID Numbe-”

Rachel closed it. “Rachel....” She closed her eyes. It started to come back to her....

*Flashback*

A man ran along side Rachel laughing. “Come’on Rachel You can’t catch me ” He fell on the swaying grass. He wore blue shorts and a Team Rocket shirt.

“I’m coming Daddy!” Rachel sprinted towards her dad. “I got y-”

A ringing sound cut her off. The man took a phone from her pocket. “Yes, boss,” he nodded. “Yes, boss.” He hung up the phone. “I have to go honey. Bye,” He gave Rachel a kiss on her head and left.

Rachel stood alone on top of a breezy hill. Tears streaming down her cute little kid face. “Daddy...”

*End of Flashback*

“Dad...” Rachel closed her eyes she tried to imagine what he looked like but couldn’t. A ringing bell came from her watch. She pressed a blue button on it.

“Rachel,” A guy’s voice called. “Rachel, it’s Daimon.”

“Daimon?” Rachel questioned.

“Rachel, what’s wrong?” Daimon asked.

“Um, who?” Rachel stammered.

“Daimon, w- no, you know what? Stay where you are. I’ll be right there,” Daimon snorted rudely.

“Um, okay Daimon,” Rachel replied. The watch beeped. She pressed the blue button again. Rachel sat down on the ground and dug in her pack. She found a beef jerky, it took her 10 minutes to open it. Rachel stuck it in her mouth whole and chewed and chewed. “Yum! That was good!” Just then a Flygon landed, sending dirt flying. Rachel had to cover her eyes. A guy with dirty blond hair stood in front of her. He wore a jacket with a pokeball on the back, jeans, and a sling pack.

“Rachel!” He jumped off the Flygon. “How are you?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” Rachel replied.

“Come’on Rachel, you know who I am right?” The guy asked.

“Uh.... Daimon?” Rachel guessed dumbly. Her blank face gave Daimon an thought.

“Yes, now come’on we have to go to Hearthome,” Daimon boosted Rachel onto the Flygon. Daimon jumped on the Flygon in front of Rachel. “Hang on to me tight k?” He said smiling.

“O-okay Daimon,” Rachel felt her cheeks turn a bright red. She grabbed on to Daimon’s waist.

Daimon flinched a bit when she grabbed on. “L-let’s go Flygon!” The green dragon pushed off with it’s legs and beated it’s wings, sending them way up into the air.

Rachel gave out a high-pitched shriek. She tightly gripped Daimon.

“Hey, it’s all right,” Daimon reassured. He blushed a bit.

Rachel’s grip loosened. “Sorry, I over reacted,” Rachel answered.

“It’s alright Rachel,” Daimon murmured. “To Hearthome,” Daimon commanded. The Flygon flew directly East toward the big bustling city glimmering in the sunset.

“Wow, what a view huh?” Rachel pointed out. “It’s so pretty...”

“Yeah, it’s a great time of day,” Daimon sighed. “Do you know what day it is today?”

“Sunday, I think,” She closed her eyes. The breeze flowed through her hair. She sighed.

“No, it’s Wednesday,” Daimon notified. “Look down.”

Below was green grass. People were laughing and running around. Flowers bloomed, red, purple, blue, you name it!

“It’s like there’s no bad things in the world...” Rachel assumed. She closed her eyes, she could imagine it now, Rachel laughing and playing with other kids, knowing who she was, where she was. Rachel sighed.

“Let’s land,” Daimon commanded. The Flygon obediently landed in a patch of crisp green grass.
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Last edited by EspeonSun; 05-19-2007 at 12:10 AM.
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  #4  
Old 05-18-2007, 10:20 AM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Your chapters are "the size of my pinky", as Sceptile Frost would say.

Well, make them longer, add more description, and correct these mistakes:

Quote:
“Uh, I don’t know.” Rachel replied.
to:

Quote:
"Uh, I don't know," Rachel replied.
Always put a comma inside the quotation instead of a period. This doesn't apply to "!" and "?" though.

It's interesting, though, keep up the good work.
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  #5  
Old 05-18-2007, 07:16 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Looks promising but it needs to be longer. A lot longer. Bet it sucks to be the daughter of a rocket member.
and what the heck is Hearthome. (I see heart and home in it but I'm still confused.)
Oh and Btw shouldn't you ask to borrow the idea of hearthome from geoffreys-darkness?
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Last edited by autism; 05-18-2007 at 07:24 PM.
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  #6  
Old 05-18-2007, 07:27 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

no... hearthome is a city in the sinnoh reigon.
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  #7  
Old 05-18-2007, 07:29 PM
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Smile Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Alright my fault. I'm not allowed to play video games so I wouldn't know.
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  #8  
Old 05-18-2007, 10:46 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Okay! I'll add more to the chapter. I'll get right on it.
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  #9  
Old 05-19-2007, 02:10 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

hey! when she gets a pokemon make sure it's an eevee!k?
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Old 05-19-2007, 02:16 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Quote:
Originally Posted by eeveetrainer View Post
hey! when she gets a pokemon make sure it's an eevee!k?
Suggest that in the RP thread, because I'm 80% sure that she wouldnt listen.
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  #11  
Old 05-19-2007, 06:36 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

1: She has pokemon.

2: Eevee is too common for stories and stuff.
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Old 05-19-2007, 11:40 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Chapter 2- Giavonni
“Rachel, let’s go,” Daimon urged. His dirty blonde hair blew in the soft Spring breeze. Daimon stood over Rachel dazed and confident.

“Yes,” Rachel jumped off the Flygon and gave it a pat. “Thanks Flygon!” The Flygon turned to Rachel and gave her a good confused look.

“Return Flygon!” Daimon held out a pokeball and a red beam shot out. Red light surrounded the giant dragon, it disappeared into thin air.

“Wow, cool!” Rachel exclaimed. Her face show great excitement like a little kid eating an ice cream cone. “How’d you do that?”

Damn, she’s really out of it... Daimon thought. I gotta talk to Professor Rowan! “I’ll tell you later!” Daimon snapped. “Let’s go to the pokemon center,” Daimon demanded.

They made their way into town, passing different shops and buildings, Rachel stopping at everyone, asking stupid questions. Rachel was amazed by the colorful murals and paintings. By the time they got to the Pokemon Center it was close to 9:00. Daimon led Rachel to a phone machine. He dialed a many different numbers before a old man appeared.

“Daimon! Rachel! How are you?” the old man asked. His beard was a crisp white, same goes for his hair. He wore a suit with a name tag on it that said, Professor Rowan, Pokemon Expert/ Researcher.

“Professor, we have a situation,” Daimon stated. “Rachel doesn’t know where, or why she’s here.”

“Uh, oh...” Professor Rowan began. “Well then, we’ll have to give her a hard bonk on the head,” Rowan suggested. He looked over Daimon’s shoulder to see Rachel playing with a Chimchar. “Go ahead.”

Daimon gulped and snuck up behind Rachel. He brought his tanned fist up and brung it down right on Rachel’s head. She was knocked out instantly. Daimon smiled, She’ll be back to normal soon. He picked up Rachel and laid her on a couch near by. Daimon went back to the phone. “Okay, all done,” Daimon announced.

“Good, get some rest,” Rowan commanded. “Call me when Rachel’s up.” The Professor hung up.

“Yes, sir!” Daimon grunted. He turned and carried Rachel to a room.

*****
“Daimon!” Rachel shook the snoring guy.

He woke with a start, he rubbed his eyes. “Rachel!” Daimon babbled. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Rachel laughed. “How yeah,” Rachel hit Daimon on the head.

“What was that for!?” Daimon screamed. He repeatedly rubbed his head.

“For hitting me on the head,” Rachel replied. “I don’t have my pokemon...”

“I think we should call the Professor,” Daimon suggested. He got up and combed his hair. “Let’s go!”

Rachel and Daimon made their way to the phone. Rachel dialed Professor Rowan’s number. He answered. “Rachel! How are you?” Rowan questioned.

“Fine, thanks to this knuckle head here,” Rachel giggled. She scratched her dirty head.

“That’s good to here,” Rowan sighed. “But, we have a problem,” Rowan started.

“What kind of problem?” Rachel asked. “Oh, no...” Rachel mumbled.

“What did you say?” Daimon asked turning to Rachel.

“Nothing!” Rachel defensively told him. “Continue Professor!” She urged.

“Okay, anyways, your father sent you your pokemon and a note. I’ll send them over now,” Rowan told her. He disappeared off the screen. Then a flash of light came on a platform. On the platform were clean clothes, a back pack, 6 pokeballs, and a note.

“Thanks Professor!” Rachel commented. She went into her room.

“Well then, I guess she’s back to her old self huh?” Rowan brought up.

“Yeah,” Daimon said dazed. “I’m just glad she’s okay.”

“True, now, do you know what happened to her?” Rowan asked. From the tone of his voice he sounded concerned.

Many people think that Rowan is a just a mean old man, but there’s more to it. Rowan, being Daimon’s grandfather was always putting Daimon first. “No, I don’t actually,” Daimon answered.

“You like her don’t you?” Rowan questioned. He smiled.

“N-no, well yeah, who am I trying to kid?” Daimon sighed. “I suppose I do...”

Just then Rachel come out of her room hair wet, wearing her new clothes. She tied her hair while walking towards the phone. Daimon’s mouth dropped. “Are you okay knuckle head?” Rachel giggled.

“Rachel do you mind telling us what happened?” Rowan asked.

“No problem. Well, you see I was heading to go teach my dad a lesson but, one of his grunts got a hold of me...” Rachel started. “The grunt tied me up and locked me in a warehouse until my dad came. He gave me a choice of keeping my pokemon or joining the organization.”

“That’s horrible!” Daimon interrupted.

“Let, me finish,” Rachel commanded. “Than, he erased my memory. Some how I got to the outskirts of Hearthome.”

“Okay, what does the note say?” Daimon asked. Rowan remained quiet.

Rachel pulled the note from her pocket. It read:

Dear Rachel,

I’m sure you’ll read this cause’ you have great friends who care. I know you’ll come after me so I’ll just tell you where I am. My location is, Jhoto HQ. I know you don’t know what I’m doing but, you will. Also, don’t think you’re going to get to me easily, I now have many body guards.

Love, Dad.

“You got some crazy dad,” Daimon decided.

“Trust me, you don’t know the half of it,” Rachel told him.

“Are you going to follow him?” Rowan asked. He knew the answer, Rachel has been training to stop her dad for a long time. She worked day and night for many years. Rachel and Daimon have been side by side since they were born and every step of the way. They’re both grade A class trainers, having beaten all 4 Elites.

“Yes,” Rachel answered.

“I’m going with you,” Daimon told her. “I’m not going to let you go alone!”

“Sure, Knuckle head,” Rachel smiled.

“You know my number,” Rowan announced. He hung up.

“Ready to go Daimon?” Rachel asked her best friend.

“More than ready,” Daimon replied.
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Old 05-20-2007, 07:13 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

ALRIGHT A NEW CHAPTER! WOOHOO! But in reality it's great. I get that "knuckle-head" joke. 'cuz daimon knocked her out with the "knuckles" on his fist. I LOVE IT LIKE YOUNG JEEZY!
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Old 05-20-2007, 07:20 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

Well nice. This is the first Fan- fic that someone is actually reading
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Old 05-20-2007, 08:18 PM
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Default Re: Giovanni: My Dad/ Enemy

This Chapter is really short, it was all I could come up with!

Chapter 3- A past life

Rachel and Daimon made their way towards the town entrance. They both enjoyed each other’s company. Each passing moment felt like they were passing time and space, into the stars. Rachel decided to stay in Hearthome for another day to unwind a bit and think things out. Even though Rachel didn’t show it she’s scared of what will happen next. She debated all day to decide if she should tell Daimon what happened in her life so far. Rachel knew she would have to tell him sometime, maybe while eating dinner....

“Right this way,” a waiter politely said. She stopped at a booth 10 meters away. “Your waiter will be right with you.”

“Thank you,” Daimon acknowledged. He took a seat across from Rachel. Daimon took a look at the menu. “I heard their burgers are great,” Daimon nervously told her.

“That sounds good,” Rachel agreed. She looked down at the menu. Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Bacon burger, Pokemon shaped burger, so many burgers! Rachel realized that even dinner is becoming a hard decision! She sighed.

“Something wrong?” Daimon asked looking at Rachel. He had a great puzzled look on his face. Sort of like a puppy...

“N-no,” Rachel studdered. H-he’s kind of cute.... Rachel thought. “You know what, there is something wrong. I got to tell you something.”

“Well, spit it out!” Daimon obnoxiously said. “You can trust me.”

I hope so... Rachel thought. “Well, my dad wasn’t always like this...” Rachel begun. “I know the old him is still dwelling inside of him. I know I have to stop him no matter what, before he gets himself in deep trouble...”

Daimon quickly nodded. “Go on.”

“I know he’ll do anything to stop me, or make me join the organization. He’ll go to you to bargain me to join cause’ he knows I’ll outwit him plus, out battle him,” Rachel grinned. “But, he’ll hurt you to get to me.” She looked down at her lap.

“Hey, I don’t care!” Daimon shouted to the heavens, getting weird looks from people at the restaurant. He quietly whispered, “I’m with you, no matter what.” He grabbed Rachel’s hand. “No, matter what...”

A chill when down Rachel’s spine. “Yes, I know, but I can’t see someone else get hurt because of me...”

Daimon looked shocked. “Someone else?” He questioned.

“My... Mom,” Rachel sniffed. “She tried to protect me, when my Dad tried to get me to join. He had his Hypno use confusion on her... she’s now in a mental institute.” Tear drops fell to her lap. “I was nine...”

“Oh, my god, I so sorry...” Daimon told her, he squeezed her hand. “That’s not going to happen to me, I promise.”

“You sure?” Rachel looked up, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

“For sure!” Daimon smiled. I’m going to help her, she’s helped me so much.

“Thank you,” Rachel whispered. “You won’t regret it..”

Daimon squeezed Rachel’s hand a bit harder. “No problem...”

Just then the waiter came up to take their order.”Ready to order?”

“You bet!” Rachel piped up.
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