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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 04-17-2007, 11:16 PM
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Default .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.

This is the fanfic that started Samantha Richardson. Follow her as she makes a Pokemon Journey. Her Charmander and her make good friends and may overcome anything!

Last edited by RawrIsMyMiddleName; 04-18-2007 at 01:46 AM.
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  #2  
Old 04-17-2007, 11:16 PM
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Default Re: .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.


Chapter 1- Make New Friends


Samantha Richardson walked downstairs wearing the clothes she had prepared yesterday. She was wearing a periwinkle shirt, cerulean jacket, sparkly black jeans, her red scarf, and her favorite necklace engraved with diamonds. She saw her father, went up to him, and kissed him. They both knew it was a great day for Samantha. She went down to the breakfast bar and grabbed some bacon and eggs her father must’ve cooked for her. She slowly started to gobble down on the food. “I am so happy,” Samantha began. “I can’t believe I’m becoming a Pokemon Master!” She jumped up and started to clean her dishes. Then, she grabbed her fully packed backpack and ran outside.

“I’ll miss you.” Her father said as he waved goodbye. Letting your child go was the hardest thing to do. Especially, if you guys are really close. Samantha and her father were almost the best of friends. Her father was treated like a kid to Samantha. They did everything together and he was always there when she needed him. Samantha always had someone to depend on, but not know. She was all alone, by herself in a Pokemon Journey. First, she would need her first Pokemon from Professor Oak who gave most children their starter Pokemon.

Samantha jumped on her bike and started pedaling. She was going very fast. She couldn’t control her speed! She couldn’t control the pedals on the bike and the bike started going crazy. Samantha’s speed made her hit another kid on a bike. They both were down on the ground, it hurt since they went headfirst. “Sorry,” Samantha started to talk “my name is Samantha Richardson, I’m starting my Pokemon Journey today.”

“The name is Luke. Lucas actually, but I prefer Luke. I’m starting a Pokemon Journey also. How about I take you to the Professor’s Lab. My bike can still probably run, unlike yours. Hop on.” The boy said. He brought Samantha back up and jumped on his bike, waiting for her to hop on. She did. He started pedaling with some help of Samantha. They pedaled as fast as the wind, well not totally. It was a ten-minute ride over there. Now, the two kids could finally get their Pokemon. They started to run up the stairs. They open the door, which the door to get their first Pokemon. Luke let Samantha go first. They entered and walked to a table with three red-and-white balls. Samantha knew what those devices were. They were Pokeballs, which held Pokemon, the creatures that people used to battle and train. Pokemon were what Luke and Samantha came there for. To grab a Pokemon and start they’re Pokemon Journey. It was so exciting.

“Hello kids. I assume you would like starter Pokemon. Correct?” An old man asked the two kids. He was wearing a gray lab coat and was pretty old. He wasn’t wearing glasses which was what most of the other people had. Then Samantha noticed who the man was. It was the man himself, Professor Oak. The very famous Professor Oak. Samantha learned about Professor Oak when she was studying Pokemon with her father. He was the best Professor in Samantha’s opinion. He was known over all of the four regions, mostly at Kanto.

“Yes. May I choose now sir? I’m sorry I’m a little pushy. Okay, here. I want a Bulbasaur. Can I have one?” Luke started to sweat. Luke was so pushy, a fact Samantha learned about him. And he was also very nervous when he sees someone famous. Another fact. Luke was a pretty nice guy though. He chose a very common starter that Samantha had liked a lot, but not the one she wanted. He knew where the spot Bulbasaur’s Pokeball was so her grabbed it, not trying to get Oak mad at him. “Come out Seed!” The green dinosaur came out. It was pretty nice. It ran straight to Samantha. She giggled. Luke took the Bulbasaur and placed it in his hands. Bulbsaur’s smile got slightly smaller. Samantha started to giggle a lot, but only inside.

“Nice choice. No what would you want young lady?” He pointed at Samantha. She knew she thought it out well. She would get the Pokemon of her dreams now, at this moment.

“Thanks sir. I would like Charmander, if that’s fine.” She pulled out the Pokeball where she was confident that it was Charmander’s. “Okay, come out Charmander.” A red lizard came out. Like, Bulbasaur it ran to Samantha. It seemed most Pokemon liked Samantha. Well, actually two so far.

“Okay guys. Since you now have your two Pokemon, you get these items. Here they are, a Pokedex for each of you, five Pokeballs for each, and three Potions for each. Good luck with your Pokemon Journeys. You guys are officially Pokemon Trainers.”

“Okay great, Samantha. To show who’s better let’s battle…” Luke hesitated for her reply.

Last edited by RawrIsMyMiddleName; 04-17-2007 at 11:20 PM.
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  #3  
Old 04-18-2007, 12:48 AM
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Default Re: .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.

Chapter 2- First Battle! Friend vs. Friend!


“…Sure? Let’s do it outside. Having an advantage will be great for Charmander and I.” Samantha said holding her Charmander in her arms. She didn’t want to look stupid and lose in front of a friend. Then she saw Professor Oak walk in. She was scared now. Really scared since a famous Professor was watching. More people came which made her scared even more. She put Charmander down and into battle.

“Okay, Seed come out!” Luke’s dinosaur came out to battle. It looked at Charmander straight in the eye. It looks like they were friend by the way they smiled at each other, now they would have to battle. The battle arena was set. Ready… set… GO!!! “Okay. I’m starting. Seed, Tackle!” Seed came towards Charmander and tackled it down on the ground. Charmander was on the floor. But that didn’t stop it. It got back up.

“Charmander. I guess you know this attack, Ember?” The Pokemon nodded. It ran up a little closer and burst out fire towards Bulbasaur. The attack being fire type was more effective. Bulbasaur was pushed back onto the floor. It couldn’t get up until a few seconds. Round 1 was finished. It was the time for Luke’s turn again. Samantha tried more to not lose. She couldn’t she found her dad and more people coming. Her dad silently cheered for Samantha. Now, she didn’t want to lose at all.

“Okay, Seed make a great Vine Whip attack!” Luke said in his shouty voice. Bulbasaur made the vine on its back lash Charmander. Charmander was hit, although didn’t fall down. It seemed it didn’t want to look stupid. It stayed up and Samantha was proud, she was very proud for her Pokemon. They both tried their hardest and gave it their all. This seemed like a tough battle.

“Nice one Charmander. Let’s hit with another Ember!” Samantha commanded again. The Pokemon did it. It threw out another blast of fire, this one looking like it would hit more. And it did. Bulbasaur was down on the ground longer than the last time. Samantha got angry that it got back up. She wanted this battle to be fast and simple. She found her father smiling at the fact Sam had a Charmander, the same Pokemon he started with. The more important thing he was proud of is how she controlled the Charmander. Not too mean and not too pushy, just right.

“Argh. This looks bad. Let’s go again, use Tackle, Seed.” Bulbasaur ran up to Charmander again and tackled it, once again, down to the ground. Charmander was down, looked like it was defeated, but it wasn’t. Charmander got up, still able to battle. Samantha smiled, knowing her Pokemon could still fight. Luke on the other hand, felt madder.

“Yes, saved! Let’s try out this attack, Scratch!” Charmander did what it was told to do and did it happily. It went right up to Seed and scratched it up. Bulbasaur was hit, but in this case it couldn’t fall. Samantha was proud that Bulbasaur was almost out of oomph. Charmander looked pretty tired also. Both Pokemon looked bad. It seemed that Charmander was in better shape though, another thing to make Samantha happy. One last thing that Samantha was happy about is that her father was smiling a big great smile in his face. The battles seemed awesome for her.

“Let’s go, Tackle again Seed!” Seed once again moved up and slammed Charmander down to the ground. The attack felt harder than before. Charmander noticed that Bulbasaur’s attacks got stronger and stronger each time it attacked and seemed confused. Neither Vine Whip nor Tackle could do that affect. It seemed confusing. But the attack still hit and the Pokemon was on the ground, confused.

“Okay Charmander. I guess you can last another round. Try another Ember for a hopeful win!” Charmander threw out another explosion of flames out and towards little Bulbasaur. This one worked well. Bulbasaur went onto the ground and fainted. Samantha won the battle! Samantha picked up Charmander as Lucas returned Bulbasaur and they shook hands. “Congratulations.” They looked at all the people watching. It was a lot. Samantha saw and ran to her father.

“Good job Samantha.” He said congratulating his daughter. Both of them smiled. They were both happy about the battle. Charmander and Samantha’s father were playing around for a while when Samantha was talking to Luke. Soon, Luke left and started his journey. Then Samantha kissed her father goodbye and left for her journey. This started the journey of Samantha and Charmander! “Samantha, out!” The young girl shouted. She was very happy to have a great Pokemon with her to help throughout the good and bad things that happen.
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  #4  
Old 04-18-2007, 01:00 AM
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Default Re: .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.

Meh. . .

There's several grammar issues that I see recurring repeatedly in here. If you have a word processor with a Spell/Grammar check, you need to use it.

Secondly: Trainer fics are overdone, or cliché, as many of us refer to overwritten plots. My suggestion is to try and bend the storyline a bit so that it isn't just another Animé episode or part of the game.

Lastly, if these are full-length chapters, they are far too short. A tip: I noticed that you are lacking satisfactory description in the battle sequences. To make your fic both a tad longer and more appealing to the senses, try describing the Pokémons' appearances. Yes, most of us know what a Charmander looks like, but you need to imagine your readers have never even heard of such a creature and describe it so that they can envisage it.

Otherwise, this is decent and I look forward to seeing improvement.

~ *Kayden
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  #5  
Old 04-18-2007, 01:07 AM
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Default Re: .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayden Javlaíakín View Post
Meh. . .

There's several grammar issues that I see recurring repeatedly in here. If you have a word processor with a Spell/Grammar check, you need to use it.

Secondly: Trainer fics are overdone, or cliché, as many of us refer to overwritten plots. My suggestion is to try and bend the storyline a bit so that it isn't just another Animé episode or part of the game.

Lastly, if these are full-length chapters, they are far too short. A tip: I noticed that you are lacking satisfactory description in the battle sequences. To make your fic both a tad longer and more appealing to the senses, try describing the Pokémons' appearances. Yes, most of us know what a Charmander looks like, but you need to imagine your readers have never even heard of such a creature and describe it so that they can envisage it.

Otherwise, this is decent and I look forward to seeing improvement.

~ *Kayden
It's short since I made a small font. And I really can't describe good. I'll try to describe better on the chapter I catch Pidgey. (Yay, spoiler!)
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  #6  
Old 04-18-2007, 01:45 AM
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Default Re: .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.

Chapter 3- Samantha caught a Pokemon! And lost it?


Samantha was still walking when she reached Route 1. There wasn’t really anything to do. All there was to do was catch one of the few Pokemon popping out. Samantha just kept walking up to Viridian City. She kept walking and walking. Samantha kept it very slowly; she was not a fast walker. She was waiting to heal Charmander at the local Pokemon Center. She forgot to when she was at the Professor’s lab. She started to speed up to get faster. But a beautiful bird Pokemon stopped her. Samantha knew the Pokemon and it was a Pidgey. “Let’s catch it. Charmander, Ember!” Charmander threw a burst of flames at Pidgey.

The Pidgey got hit and noticed that it was Charmander who hit it. It passed wind out to Charmander, forcing it to get hit and fall down. Pidgey came closer to the ground to get closer to Charmander.

“Charmander, use Scratch.” It got all crazy, causing damage to Pidgey. The attack was sure not Tackle, but it was a Rage attack. An attack known to Lance’s Charizard, Lance was Samantha’s father. The Rage attack was a good attack and Samantha probably needed it. The crazy attack was an attack that Charmander liked also. It was happy to already learn a new attack, on the second battle. “Great job Charmander.”

Pidgey got angrier. It threw another attack. It ran and ran very quickly towards Charmander. It used an attack called Quick Attack. The attack forced Charmander to fall down once again. Charmander quickly got back up. It was ready for fighting again. Samantha really wanted to catch this Pokemon and Charmander wanted to help.

“Charmander, Scratch!” Charmander jumped up to attack Pidgey with a Scratch attack. Pidgey was hit and fell down. It was close to fainting. One more attack was good for the capture. Samantha still had to do one more attack.

Pidgey did an attack not so original. It was Tackle attack. Pidgey tackled Charmander down and onto the ground. Charmander was still up and could stand a few more rounds, but Samantha knew he would be gone in a few rounds.

“Okay, one more time. Let’s use an Ember!” Samantha shouted really confident. Charmander did another ember. It threw out another piece of fire at Pidgey. Pidgey was hit and right about to faint. Samantha knew it was a good time to try to catch. Samantha felt it was a good time to throw a Pokeball. She pulled one out of her pocket. “Now, go Pokeball!” Samantha threw a Pokeball at the bird Pokemon. Ding…Ding…Ding…and Ding… Pidgey was captured. Samantha was happy. “Yes! I caught Pidgey. Now I have two loyal Pokemon by my side.”

“Pi, Pidgey!” The bird chirped. The bird liked both Samantha and Charmander. It seemed a great bond between the three. Samantha brought Pidgey back to its Pokeball and started to walk to Viridian. She walked slowly and got into Viridian.

“We’re here guys.” She walked and finally found the Pokemon Center. She went there to heal Charmander and Pidgey. She walked in. “Hello, Nurse can you heal my Pokemon please?” Samantha took out her Pokeball and gave Charmander and it to the Nurse.

”Okay. Call me Nurse Joy please.” She walked to a machine and healed the Pokemon in a flash. Samantha grabbed them back in shock. How’d she heal them so fast? That was one question she wanted to know about weird machinery. Samantha looked at Charmander. It was in perfect shape. No cuts, no bruises, just perfectly fine.

“Wow thank you.” All of a sudden, the light faded. Samantha felt something weird when it was dark. The light came back on. Samantha noticed that Pidgin’s Pokeball was missing! She searched everywhere, but it was nowhere. She couldn’t find it. They found the guys who stole it. They were two guys wearing Team Rocket shirts. Samantha knew that if she hit them with a simple hit, it would make it. “Charmander, blast fire at them trying not to hit Pidgey.” Charmander threw a burst fire like nothing; it made the goons fly away. Pidgey landed back in Samantha’s arms. Samantha laughed and laughed at the goons. They couldn’t even say anything. Samantha was just proud to have Pidgey back though.

“Thanks for making them go away. Here’s a gift.” Nurse Joy said as she passed Samantha a box.

“Thanks.” Samantha opened the box and found it was an everstone. She passed it to Charmander and her buddy could never evolve. Samantha returned Pidgey and was a very happy girl. She left the Pokemon Center to get back on the road on her Pokemon Journey.
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  #7  
Old 04-18-2007, 05:34 AM
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Default Re: .:Samantha's Pokemon Journey!:.

It is pretty good. ^^; I loved it.
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