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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-09-2004, 01:19 AM
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Default The Wild Shroomish! *Ready for a Grade*

Andrew sprung out of the Petalburg woods with a wild Shroomish in hot pursuit. Andrew had accidentally tripped over it while walking in the woods. The Shroomish was obviously very angry and chased Andrew right out of the woods.



“I’m sorry!” He cried diving out of the Shroomish’s powerful Headbutt attack.



“Shroo… Shroo!” The plant Pokemon screamed.



“If you wanna battle me your on!” Andrew replied, reaching for his nearest Pokeball.



Krabby came out of the ball ready for battle.



The Shroomish charged towards Krabby at an insane speed. The Shroomish attempted to Headbutt it but was sent to the ground when Krabby countered with its powerful Crabhammer.



“Nice shot!” Andrew said, complementing Krabby’s power.



“Shroomish!” The grass Pokemon screamed with rage.



Krabby turned around to see what was going on but it was too late. It had already fallen victim to Shroomish’s deadly Absorb attack.



“Darn…” Andrew said, “I forgot Water Pokemon are weak against Grass…”



“Krab… by…” The crab Pokemon fell to the ground, it’s energy completely drained.



“Krabby, return!” Andrew called his Pokemon back to it’s Pokeball and ran as fast as he could, away from the Shroomish.



He dodged the Pokemon every witch way until he got to the Pokemon Center, a place where a wild Pokemon dare not go.



He shot into it like a bullet and ran right up to Nurse Joy, his dark black hair blowing behind him.

Last edited by Killik; 03-09-2004 at 01:24 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2004, 01:21 AM
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Default Re: The Wild Shroomish!

“How may I help you?” The Nurse asked.



“I… would like you to… heal my… Krabby… please.” He spoke, running out of breath.



“No problem!” The Nurse happily replied taking the Pokeball out of Andrew’s hand and placing it in the restoration machine.



Andrew walked over to one of the very comfortable chairs and sat down. He then looked out of the window, only to see the Shroomish looking right back at him.



How am I going to get away from this Pokemon? He wondered, staring at the ceiling. I can’t run away from it forever. I’m pretty sure it would follow me until the end of time. I could capture it, that’s always an option, but it’s very strong. But that was only because I used a Pokemon weak against it! He jumped up and down in his mind. Maybe I should use Teddiursa. I’m pretty sure a normal type Pokemon isn’t weak against a grass type.



“Your Pokemon is as good as new!” Nurse joy said, walking over to Andrew and handing him the ball.



“Thank you Nurse Joy.”



He looked out of the window once more, still only to see the Pokemon sitting there, patiently waiting for him.



“You’re going down Shroomsih!” He said walking towards the Center’s doors. He left the center and saw the Pokemon grin at him.



“Let’s take our battle to a place a little more private, shall we?” Andrew asked the Pokemon.



“Shroooooo… mish!” It answered walking towards the place they had had there first battle.



Andrew took off his red jacket. He had a grey t-shirt under it and blue jeans. He was prepared to take down this Shroomish once and for all.
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  #3  
Old 03-09-2004, 01:22 AM
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Default Re: The Wild Shroomish!

“Teddiursa lets go!” He called out the little bear Pokemon, It confidently looked straight into Shroomish’s eyes.



Shroomish, making the first move, shot an Absorb at Teddiursa, the same attack used to defeat Krabby.



“Teddiursa,” He commanded, “Dive to the left and Slash it!”



The little Pokemon barely dodged the attack, but connected with Shroomish. The Pokemon yelped in pain and fell to the rocky ground.



The Pokemon suddenly jumped up and Headbutted Teddiursa, taking it by surprise and sending it to the ground, like it had just done to it, seconds ago.



“Teddiursa, get back up and try another Slash!” Teddiursa looked extremely weakened from that last hit but still had energy left to fight on.



Teddiursa flung it self towards Shroomish, landing a critical hit on it. The grass Pokemon once again yelled out in pain. This time it was very, very angry. Shroomish started to go berserk on Teddiursa. The plant Pokemon must’ve hit Teddiursa about twenty times. Teddiursa, this time fell to the ground, completely exhausted.

“No, I can’t lose to Shroomish again!” Andrew screamed. He started to think of ways he could make a comeback. Suddenly an idea popped into his head. An idea so good it was sure not to fail!



“Teddiursa rest, now!” Andrew commanded his normal type Pokemon.



Although Teddiursa couldn’t move there was one thing he could do, and do it well at that! Teddiursa started to fall asleep…



Perfect… Andrew though, waiting for Shroomish to attack.



Shroomish charged towards the sleeping Teddiursa but was sent backwards by the power of its snore attack.



“Teddiursa, Snore, again!” Teddiursa snored so loudly that anybody at least five miles away could here it.



Shroomish was flung backwards by the force of the attack.



Shroomish gave up for the time being and decided to wait until it awoke.



A few minutes later Teddiursa jumped right up from its deep sleep, fully energized.



“Teddiursa, now its time to show it a berserk attack of your own. Thrash!”



Teddiursa insanely charged towards the surprised Shroomish. It flung its fist’s every which way, hit after hit connected with Shroomish until both Pokemon could no longer stand.



“Ok, great job Teddiursa! Now it’s my turn!”



Andrew grabbed an empty Pokeball from his back Pokeball and shot it towards Shroomish.



“Shroomish, your mine!”



--

Ok story done. I don’t know if its enough but I worked really hard on it. If the battle is to short tell me.
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  #4  
Old 03-10-2004, 10:09 AM
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Default Re: The Wild Shroomish! *Ready for a Grade*

Story: 1 sentence till you begin whacking Shroomish... Have some sort of way to reach Shroomish instead of just meeting it and battling it. If you don't plan to do so, at least have an interesting storyline before meeting Shroomish. There's practically no storyline in this story at all.

Grammar: Didn't really see any obvious mistakes. Good.

Details: You need more. Describe the scenery, the feeling and whatever worth describing before entering the battle. Like "Towering green trees blocked the sunlight from beaming onto me, so I couldn't see where I was going.". This is not the best, but it's an example. Writing the battle part is a great part to imput descriptions(adjectives, adverbs) to good use. K? Good luck.

Reality: Fine, I suppose.

Battle: Like I say, it requires more details. Don't just describe how the battle went, describe how you feel when battling. Like: "Drops of sweat dripped down my face, as Teddiursa fired a fierce punch at Shroomish. I cheered happily when Shroomish was thrown onto a tree by the punch.". It's an example, again.

Outcome: Shroomish not captured!

Tips: Work on everything, try to improve it further even if you think it's good enough.
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