A very simple introduction you have 4 mates are travelling to Kanto region for a new adventure. You could of added more detail here like hor old they all were, what do they look like, what they where wearing ect, This is just enough for Taillow.
Edit: Oh ok the Descriptions of the mates come a bit later after the intro.
This is a just Pass.
4 Mates are on a ship after getting an urgent call from Professor Oak to go to Kanto. The 4 mates split up when they reach the boat, looking for battles. One guy finds a battle and underestimates the opponent and gets pummeled. Then the story goes back to this James character and he is in a room and he just found a book with some secret code. He tries to figure it out but a crack in the floor makes him fall down to another level, thats where he finds the taillow and battles it.
The start of this plot could of been made into an very interesting one. But I didn't really get what you made it into. A guy falls down into a crack and see's a Taillow? Thats not belivable. I recommend thats you fix up this plot before you try to catch another Pokemon.
Barely a Pass/ Borderline
This part hurt you ALOT. You forgot to do so many things like: Capitals (you didn't even put capitals on the word Pokemon), starting new paragraph very time some one speaks, putting commas where there not needed and the extra full stops.
Uhh? Professor Oak, don't be lazy.
"All right!"Shouted Ash, "I'm gonna get some new pokémon!"
There should be a space between that.
"We must stay calm or there might be big trouble coming from the life guard, anyway we need to get there quickly, Professor Oak said URGENT."
You could of just put a "as" there instead of the extra comma.
"Yu what?"Jonny replied. Looking sternly at the boy.
The boy turned around to see if anyone else was around eagerly. Then turned to face Jonny again.
The red head spoke sharp and quickly, Jonny could just about make out the words he was saying.
No need for the extra spaces.
Soon the red haired boy stood up against Jonny in a battle. Jonny only had 1 pokemon on him so he chose to just have a 1 on 1.
"GO Primeape!" Jonny shouted out and pulled out a ball from his belt and flung it,"Primeape use dynamicpunch!"
"GO Feraligator!"The Kid shouted and pulled out a indigo & white pokeball out of his pocket,"Feraligator use hydro pump!"
The two trainers battled, missing a lot and evading others attacks. Suddenly.......
"Feraligator use surf!"
Primeape squealed silently as the mighty tidal crashed down on top of it.
With great force Primeape blasted out, smashing through a hard plastered wall. Knocking it out immediatly.
After the last drop of water evaporated under the grey smoke from the light above them.
"Who are you? What is your name?"Jonny asked the red haired kid.
"I'm Andrew but you can call me Drew, everyone does. I'm just a trainer. But soon I'll become a great gym leader,"The kid replied.
Suddenly Jonny felt a bump and a calm of the motor he looked over towards the bow.
"This must be where we get off......"
Jonny couldn't end his sentence because before he new it he was talking to himself and Drew had gone away.
Start a new paragraph everytime some one talks.
This is just some of the errors, you need to improve on this bit a lot.
Well there wasn't much detail here but atleast you gave it a try to describe what the 4 people where wearing
Barely a pass.
The battle, I was thinking to myself is this part even worse than the grammar part? Yes, there was length in it but the attacks and the detail of the attacks was so little i could only spot the very obvious ones like
Pidgeotto evading the blasts of wind
6k of characters enough i guess for this Taillow.
Well the story started out well but i ended in disaster, im sorry to say this but Taillow NOT captured
. Go back and edit the grammar errors and even maybe the battle and i will happily give you that little Birdy.