Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 03-10-2004, 02:40 AM
Lord Celebi's Avatar
Lord Celebi Offline
Zhu-Quiao
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 13,317
Send a message via AIM to Lord Celebi Send a message via Skype™ to Lord Celebi
Default Double Clamperl Day!

Sootopolis City
Ah, Sootopolis. Home of Team Aqua, well the underwater base anyway. Sometimes, I wish I could tell people, but if I did I'd be fired from my Admin position by my brother (*NOTE: This takes place 1 year BEFORE R/S so I'm still an Admin). I was just on my way to get lemonade at a local shop when I saw Wallace walk by. He knew I was a water trainer. He didn't know I was in Aqua though, which was good, or I wouldn't have heard this good news.
"rust, did you hear? Clamperl Swarm!" Wallace exclaimed (*Note to graders: My name is spelled with a lowercase r, do not mark me off on that).
"Huh?" I replied paying attetion to the awning on the lemonade shop.
"Underwater grass, a bunch of Clamperl have gathered looking for pearls," the blue'haired Gym Leader answered. The word 'Pearl' caught my attention. I knew out of the small pearls were big pearls. And Big Pearls meant only one thing: Money! Also, the sometimes rare Clamperl meant another Pokemon for my Collection. I went inside and got some lemonade and took a sip of that sour drink. I puckered for a moment and then drank the rest.
All the way home, I looked like I was trying to kiss someone. That's what I love about the lemonade; it's very sour. If it wasn't it wouldn't be called 'Sour Shop.'
I ran home, fortunatly avoiding women and had a glass of water. The cool drink relaxed my tense lip muscles. I ran into my room and got my diving gear. Since Marshtomp doesn't know dive yet, I'll need this.
Another thing I love about Sootopolis is that I live next to the ocean. I ran into my back-yard as I called it (It was a bunch of rocks then sea). I jumped over the rocks and into the sea.
In my wetsuit, I didn't feel much of the cool water, but my face with only a breathing appartus and goggles could.
I loved swimming. I swam a lot as a boy, only 30-some years ago. I finally came to the underwater grass and began to dig until something bit my hand: A Clamperl, A Shiny Clamperl! I hit the shell and it let go of my hand. It thought I was stealing its pearl.
"Marshtomp, GOOO!"
I sent my red and white Pokeball into the air and out popped the mud-fish Pokemon, Marshtomp.
"Tackle," I instructed.
Marshtomp tackled the clam Pokemon pretty hard, but it could still attack. Clamperl clamped onto Marshtomp's hand, turning it purple.
Great, if Clamperl clamps everything, I'll have a shiny Marshtomp, I thought.
The Sparkling Pokemon then clamped the Mud-Fish's face. Marshtomp kicked the Clamperl and it tackled it again. If Clamperl could seep blood, we'd be in red water right now. Taking that thought as an oppurtunity, I threw a Pokeball. The red and white sphere landed on Clamperl. Now its a matter of time before I know If its mine or not.

WRITER'S NOTE: If I get that clamperl, I'm gonna get another one too in the same topic.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-11-2004, 08:56 AM
boltAge Offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Singapore
Posts: 3,215
Send a message via AIM to boltAge
Default Re: Double Clamperl Day!

Story: You think there's even any storyline or plot? You just described yourself roughly, all of a sudden, a Clamperl pops up and you attempt to catch it. Describe further, make some more stuff happen before you meet Clamperl, a conversation or two won't hurt, just don't make conversations too long or they'll get boring.

Grammar: Some typoes, nothing more. Good.

Details: You need a lot more. Describe your base/home more, describe the scenery around you, describe the Clamperl, for example, "Clamperl clamped onto me persistently, not willing to let go. I was angered by the Clamperl, and I delivered a strong blow with my arm onto it.". Not perfect, it's just an example, so good luck on this section.

Reality: Yeah, it's okay I guess.

Battle: 1 or 2 attacks ends the battle. What on earth? o_0 Describe your battles with adjectives and adverbs, they help a lot, and don't let yourself have too much advantage, as it gets very boring this way.

Outcome: Clamperl not captured!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:47 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com