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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #31  
Old 02-27-2007, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

I feel sorry for Odd and the others. Not only will they have to see what Nakkura's become, they'll have to fight him. It's not something I'd want to do, no matter how strong I thought I was.

And what is Nakkura going to do when he finds out that Marigold is actually alive. He has to fight her.
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  #32  
Old 02-27-2007, 01:10 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Nice chapter! By the way, are you going to use that Pikachu again? I'd like to see her again. Or him. Whatever. xD
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  #33  
Old 02-27-2007, 01:13 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicune's Child View Post
I feel sorry for Odd and the others. Not only will they have to see what Nakkura's become, they'll have to fight him. It's not something I'd want to do, no matter how strong I thought I was.

And what is Nakkura going to do when he finds out that Marigold is actually alive. He has to fight her.
I'll play around with what happens, and you'll see it later. ^_^;; Yeah... Nakkura's going to be freaked out, probably.

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Originally Posted by Snowball Sunday View Post
Nice chapter! By the way, are you going to use that Pikachu again? I'd like to see her again. Or him. Whatever. xD
"A black Pikachu with violet cheeks and stripes turned her head fearfully to glance at the dark Zangoose."

Now that you have requested it, I'll use use her in the next chapter. *evil idea pops into head* Ah... I'll develop her character a bit more, then.

There's a discussion thread for this I put up, guys, for further discussion. Hence the "discussion" thread. XD
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  #34  
Old 02-28-2007, 01:06 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

... Isn't 'squish' kind of an odd word choice? (no pun intended) Anyway, another good chapter. Yay, Pikachu. I like Pikachu. I found my FireRed game finally, and I have a Pikachu...

And no, I wouldn't have thought a discussion board would have been about discussing anything. It just doesn't seem right. XD
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  #35  
Old 03-01-2007, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Yaahh... This chapter's evil and somewhat pointless, but I had to write it. I'll add on to the Pikachu's character as Snowball requested, though originally I wasn't going to do anything else. On with the violence!

Chapter V
Blood and Grit

The wind howled and moaned like a dying creature as it whipped raindrops from the dark clouds overhead. Water fell heavily from the dark sky, making the sparse patches of grass underfoot slick. Bare areas of dirt turned into wet mud puddles that splashed around, staining the dark fur of the Shadow Pokémon with an icky brown. A training session had begun in the open, more fertile area of Citadark Isle, even if the fierce gales blew at the time. Toxaril demanded being able to act in any circumstance, so they acted now.

Nakkura, a proud Zangoose, frowned bitterly as he sat on the sidelines, his fur sopping with rainwater and mud. He shook himself and blinked water from his eyes as he watched the Pokémon before him. A black bull with a brilliant violet mane attempted to turn around to face an opponent but slipped and toppled over. The dark rat he was battling against sprang for him and loosed a powerful bolt of electricity. The Shadow Pikachu watched as a group of others pushed the Tauros away with lowered heads and outstretched paws.

Vanyu seemed to be enjoying the storm, obviously. The falling droplets splashed on his hard skin, creating an aura around him. He turned intently toward the Zangoose, silently giving him the order to step up and fight. “Surely you can beat up a little mouse, Nakkura?” he sneered before watching the eager Pikachu again. The black mongoose spat bad-temperedly and trudged toward his opponent.

The Electric-type’s tall ears stood up in surprise as he approached her. Immediately, he threw his arm out like a human launching a bowling ball. A dark sphere flew toward the rodent, striking her in the chest. She fell back onto the cold, wet grass but got up promptly, shaking herself out. Hissing a challenge, she closed her eyes and concentrated. Two semitransparent forms came from either side of her and became a solid copy.

Nakkura looked at the illusions in turn as they quickly shifted positions. Each one suddenly ran forward, quicker than the eye could follow. The Zangoose jumped up, leaving two of the copies to collide with each other and fade, but the remaining three Pikachu managed to hit him. He stumbled and ultimately fell onto his stomach. Snarling, he reared up as one of the Pikachu ran toward him determinedly; he grabbed what he thought was the decoy by the head and hurled it away. It bashed the side of a rock with a cry of pain. Suddenly, the two awaiting Pokémon disappeared, showing that Nakkura had struck the real thing.

“Huh… Good job,” muttered Vanyu sarcastically. The Starmie tipped onto his side and spun rapidly to hover toward the limp dark form. “You’ve killed another one… Can you be a little patient? You can rip out Oddity’s throat later; no need to kill your comrades to satisfy your bloodlust!”

“She’s not dead,” snapped the Shadow Zangoose as he approached the Pikachu. Her scarlet eyes were open a crack, and she moaned softly as the rain battered her. Her eyes opened up completely when the Normal-type stood over her, scooping her up in his arms and heading inside of one of the tunnels connecting the different parts of the island.

The star-shaped Pokémon watched and shrugged again. “Next victim!”

~~~

Nakkura lay a few feet away from the injured Pikachu, who was starting to stagger to her paws. She finally stood up, recovered from the attack after eating a few healing berries and herbs. She now watched the Zangoose warily and narrowed her red eyes in suspicion. The violet-streaked mongoose only stared back without much feeling. She finally tore her eyes away.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “for saving me.”

Nakkura snorted and looked away. “I’ve killed five here already,” he reminded her darkly. “Toxaril doesn’t like me much and probably thinks that, at this rate, I could wipe his forces out.” He added after a hesitant moment, “Er...and you’re welcome…”

The Pikachu seemed to beam at this. “My name’s Xanthe; I already know you.”

“I’m pretty popular around here, eh?” The Zangoose stood up and stretched his arms out in front of him with a tiny frown. He finally stepped out of the old building they had been resting in, allowing raindrops to run down his muzzle. Xanthe followed with a heavy limp, her crimson eyes shining. The ferret turned his head to stare at her, and in surprise she hopped back.

“I’m not finished yet,” she snapped promptly. “We have to train.”

Nakkura shrugged and broke into a run. The grass was still slick, but the rain had let up a little. He shook his dampened pelt out again and was unaware he was flinging mud onto Xanthe, who was following close behind. She discharged some built-up electricity into the air to blast away the soggy brown mess, making both Pokémon’s fur stand on end. At last they burst onto the makeshift battlefield, skidding and heading into opposite directions. Delivering a Shadow Bolt to a dark Linoone, Xanthe leapt into the training session instantly, fully recovered after the hour or so of rest that she had received. Nakkura retreated to the sidelines again and lowered himself to lie down next to a displeased Vanyu.

The Starmie turned to him and hissed, “You need to work harder. We’re heading out to Mount Battle…tonight.”

“We’ve only had two days of—”

“That doesn’t matter. Toxaril wants us moving out. We’re wrapping this up after I’ve taught you something else.” His points curled up, and he spun out onto the wet field, clearing it as he nearly slammed into several other Pokémon who moved out of the way quickly. Vanyu shouted forcefully at them, herding them into groups. Finally, he turned toward the Zangoose again. His voice seemed frustrated.

“Toxaril requested you lead your own group. It’s up to you who you choose.”

Nakkura blinked in surprise and looked at the Pokémon around him. Xanthe caught his eye and smirked, and reluctantly he nodded for her to come over. The Pikachu seemed oddly happy, and he couldn’t help but bristle uneasily as she stood next to him. He then trotted toward the Linoone who had first discovered that Ray had died; the ferret introduced himself as Taisto. Taisto then referred a powerful-looking dark Manectric who gave him a small, wicked grin. This Electric-type dog had nearly killed with his powerful Shadow End attack.

The Zangoose flicked an ear and welcomed both over. He turned to the Starmie, expression devoid of emotion, and asked him, “What was it that you wanted to teach me?”

Vanyu leaned closer to the mongoose, voice soft and dark. “I wanted to teach you…this.” He straightened and summoned a young-looking black fox out of the mass. The Eevee’s bright red eyes were fierce but sparked sudden sympathy from the Zangoose. The little Pokémon couldn’t have been more than a few months old but already had been claimed as a warrior under Toxaril. Its violet ruff quivered in the wind as it sat down and bowed its head. The Starmie chuckled darkly. “Nakkura, this is Chrysanthos. He promised to join us when his parents were attacked a few weeks ago… He was in a situation not unlike yours.” Here he paused and slowly circled the Zangoose. “He wanted to protect others by offering his services…to protect them by being stronger…

“This is your final lesson, Nakkura. Close your heart. You are no more than a Shadow Zangoose with no pity for others. Look into Chrysanthos’s eyes. You may believe him to be a little one at heart, but he would have learned to be no more than a dark fighting machine like the rest of us…”

Xanthe froze suddenly and looked away, something glimmering in her eyes. She took several loud, deep breaths as Taisto and the Manectric looked on with expressions of hardened stone. The Pikachu seemed distressed, and the Zangoose would soon find out why. He questioned Vanyu, “You said that Chrysanthos ‘would have learned’. Why hasn’t he? Must you reach a certain age?”

“He will never reach that age,” Vanyu hissed. The Eevee stiffened slightly and bowed his head again. His ears flattened, and he looked up at Nakkura, his red eyes seeking comfort and protection from the threat in the Starmie’s tone. The mongoose could feel his softened heart trying to reach out for the Eevee. He turned to look at the Water-type and his blazing crimson aura. Vanyu stated, “Kill him.”

Nakkura whirled to look at Chrysanthos in disbelief. The Eevee was absolutely trembling now, almost knocked off of his paws. He even went as far as whispering a prayer, entreating for mercy. He was a child. Expressionless, the Zangoose’s eyes lifted and wandered across the expressions of his new group. Xanthe shook slightly, while Taisto averted his eyes. The Manectric offered him a tiny, challenging smile, as if to say that he could never do it.

“I hate you,” spat Nakkura finally as he looked at Vanyu. “When I can, regardless of whose side I’m on now, I’ll kill you.” The Starmie only lifted his points in a returned grin. The Zangoose then turned to the little Eevee, shaking with rage. He raised his arm and slew the creature with a single slash.
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  #36  
Old 03-01-2007, 11:12 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Nooo... It's too cute. T_T Poor Chrysanthos. That makes me think of Brianna, now. If you don't remeber, I sent you her brother, Luke, as a possible character. She became a Shadow Pokemon and died in a battle, and she was an Eevee.

Still, nicely done. I like Xanthe. That'd make a good Organization XIII member name. They all have X's in them. XD
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  #37  
Old 03-02-2007, 12:00 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Ah, my little otter, you turn me into a Shelgon and murder me... How evil.

I read Shadow Mist at school (ninety-six freaking pages? Girl, do you have a life?). Anyway, this is going well. I love the characters... Nakkura is almost as awesome as me. I can't wait until the next chapter is up, and as you know I can bother you at school until you post it.
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  #38  
Old 03-02-2007, 12:01 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Poor little Eevee. Vanyu is such a hypocrite.
Quote:
"Can you be a little patient? You can rip out Oddity’s throat later; no need to kill your comrades to satisfy your bloodlust!”
And then he tells Nakkura to kill another teammate.

Once more, a good chapter. The next one has to do with Odd and the rest of Team Fang again, right?
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Ripped from my world and tossed into the role of savior, I can't decide what's harder, ending a war destined to leave this world in ruins or fighting against my longing for home. I hate this world, I love this world, but it isn't mine. Why must I save it? Faye

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My Cause|An Innocent's Revenge
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  #39  
Old 03-02-2007, 12:13 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draconic_Espeon View Post
Nooo... It's too cute. T_T Poor Chrysanthos. That makes me think of Brianna, now. If you don't remeber, I sent you her brother, Luke, as a possible character. She became a Shadow Pokemon and died in a battle, and she was an Eevee.

Still, nicely done. I like Xanthe. That'd make a good Organization XIII member name. They all have X's in them. XD
I like Xanthe, too. *hugs Pikachu*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seviper Blood View Post
Ah, my little otter, you turn me into a Shelgon and murder me... How evil.

I read Shadow Mist at school (ninety-six freaking pages? Girl, do you have a life?). Anyway, this is going well. I love the characters... Nakkura is almost as awesome as me. I can't wait until the next chapter is up, and as you know I can bother you at school until you post it.
I'm your little otter now, eh? Now... I don't have a life, first of all. You of all people should know that. If you bother me about it, I'll break your arm. XD Sorry about killing the Shelgon off; he stars in another story I should get on writing.

And Nakkura is way more awesome than you. XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicune's Child View Post
Poor little Eevee. Vanyu is such a hypocrite.

And then he tells Nakkura to kill another teammate.

Once more, a good chapter. The next one has to do with Odd and the rest of Team Fang again, right?
Yes, the next one has to do with them. Don't worry. It's going to feel interesting writing in first person again.

Vanyu's an evil jerk, yes, but you're supposed to hate him. XD He's more dark in this book than in the last. And Chrysanthos was worthless to that evil Starmie... *pets poor Nakkura*

Off Topic: I really do have a Starmie named Vanyu and a Golduck named Amaya on XD: Gale of Darkness, but they're purified. ^_^;;
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  #40  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:37 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Yay! Thank you for using my lil' Pikachu~ xD

I was confused as to why the Eevee was killed. What age? I didn't get that part. ^^;
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  #41  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowball Sunday View Post
Yay! Thank you for using my lil' Pikachu~ xD

I was confused as to why the Eevee was killed. What age? I didn't get that part. ^^;
Vanyu was testing Nakkura. The Eevee was really young, just old enough to fend for himself. That Starmie is evil...

I'll have the next part up by next week.
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  #42  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:58 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Chryssy... ;_;

I feel bad for Nakkura and Xanthe. They seem like they're not fully shadowed, like their hearts are still open a little. I hope that Odd can live through this. =|
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I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
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  #43  
Old 03-07-2007, 01:51 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Here it is, people, the next chapter. ^_^; Draconic_Espeon might like the newest characters I've introduced. Sorry if I go them wrong, okay...? It's not as cliffhanger-y, luckily for you, since it doesn't end in a life-risking situation... You still might not like the end, though. ;_;

---

Chapter VI
Mountaintop

The exhilaration of battle left me breathless as I sank the serrated jaws into the Torkoal’s long, orange neck. The Fire-type bellowed in pain and sank to the ground, but the noise had obviously alerted others. Magma-like shapes rose and formed bodies from the brown stone. I could hear the others battling around me, dodging and striking swiftly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dalinto standing fiercely and firmly in front of the injured walrus, using his Water-type attacks to knock out quite a few of the foes. Borealis was shuddering, every breath an intense effort, but soon he fell into a deadly silence.

“Quick! Run!” I called. I felt very, very hot… The heat affected me greatly. I knew that a single hit from one of the opponents could very well end me. Out of paranoia, I hardened my skin the best I could with a few Iron Defense attacks in order to feel more…stable. The others were sweating and panting, as well, except for the Houndoom. She released a yowling sound and a breath of flame, showing she meant business. Poisonous gas was emitted from her orange muzzle, making the air turn a hazy, violet, and dangerous.

Coughing, Marigold reached toward me with a paw. “Run, Odd!” she urged me, already starting to head up the mountain. The Ampharos stumbled, only to be struck with several small rocks a Magcargo had sent tumbling down. Running uphill was a challenge within itself, let alone trying to escape the Fire-types. I took a step toward the Electric-type to haul her to her feet and fight her enemy. However, another rumbling beneath the ground caused me to halt.

I fell.

A second of the mountain had begun to crumble, and only just now I realized I had fought out onto a ledge. I grabbed for the stone, gritting my teeth as gravel tumbled onto my body. The others disappeared for view, still fighting against the flaming Pokémon.

I landed heavily on my back, knocking the wind out of me, though I didn’t suffer serious damage due to the several Iron Defenses I had put up. Groaning, I rolled over onto my side, trying to figure out where I was now, and where the others were, as well. I wiped my hand across my eyes, which were watering due to the sudden dust erupting into the air. Coughing, I scrambled forward, half blind, to somewhere clearer. I didn’t hear the slithering of another Pokémon following me but instead concentrated on reaching a better point.

“Marigold! Mica! Dalinto!” I shouted, though my voice was hoarse. Coughing again, I looked around. I could faintly hear the sounds of an intense fight above me and judged the distance from where I was to where I saw flame shooting out from the side of the mountain. I hadn’t fallen too far, but due to the steepness of the area, it would be hard to get up.

A sudden hiss finally gained my attention. I whirled around, just to see a purple tail heading toward me. I ducked out of the way and turned abruptly, biting down on a leathery Pokémon with my powerful steel jaws. A shriek of pain told me that I had hit my mark. I shook my head, thrashing part of the creature around, but fangs met in my arm at that moment. I turned slightly to see what was digging into me. I saw angry, dark eyes and a sleek, violet head.

As I released my grasp on the Pokémon, it dropped me and slithered back a few paces. The serpent reared up, flaring out its hood with its striking pattern and hissing loudly. The Arbok suddenly lunged forward to snap again, its mouth opening wide. As I smashed a fist into the side of its jaw, its long, tough body curled around me in a death grip. I wriggled, struggling to break free and breathe, but it squeezed tighter as I did so. Simultaneously, we both went limp.

“Who…are…you? And…what are you…doing?” I demanded in gasping breaths.

“I’d like to know the same,” the Arbok hissed. Its voice was silky and distinguished it as a female. The snake lowered her hood slightly and stared at me distrustfully. “Why did you come down here?” she snapped, her voice icy and unfeeling. Her eyes bored into mine. Never trusting a snake, I averted my gaze and replied loudly and bravely. At least, I hoped I sounded brave.

“I fell; that’s why!” I explained, “My name’s Odd, from Team Fang. We were pursuing Shadow Pokémon up the mountain, when we were attacked. I became separated from the group.” I narrowed my eyes. “Would you care to answer me now, O Kind One?”

“I am Reeah,” she said softly. However, her expression was still dangerous as she added, “How much do you know about the Shadow Pokémon?” She smirked slightly and turned her head.

“Why would you want to know?” I instantly guarded my expression.

Reeah let her breath out in a loud hiss. “We could sit here and explain life’s mysteries to each other, or you could run along to your little group…or, rather, what’s left of it now.” She copied my emotionless expression with a flash of her dark eyes. I rose to my feet to head up the mountain, but she quickly uncoiled from her original position and slithered out in front of me with a challenging gleam in her eyes.

“My trainer was killed by a Shadow Pokémon,” I explained, trying to look over her toward where I wanted to go. “We’ve been fighting against them ever since them. My team could be dying now; get out of my way!”

Reeah narrowed her pupils to slits at the tone of my voice. She opened her mouth to reply, but another, deeper voice caused her to lift her head. A large, spiky purple shape appeared from a cavern-like formation among the rocks. The bipedal creature lifted his head and asked, “Who is that, Reeah?” I saw the muscles under his tough hide and frowned. He’d be a very tough opponent in a fight… I hoped I was lucky enough not to get into one with him.

“Odd the Mawile, from Team Fang,” Reeah said, her eyes never leaving me. Her voice had softened a touch, I noticed. “Daisuke, go back into the cave. It’s nothing.” She frowned now, but she finally turned her head as the Nidoking, Daisuke, spoke up again.

“It has to be something,” he pointed out sensibly. “Half of the mountain just fell.” He smiled a little. “He’s going after the Shadow Pokémon, isn’t he?” He turned to look at me. “Guess we both share a hatred of them.”

“Not without sympathy,” I said softly. “I used to be one, myself. It wasn’t easy. Now, however, destroying Team Mist is all I want to do.”

As I explained I had been a Shadow Pokémon, Reeah’s coils stiffened, and she lowered her head quickly. I looked at her suspiciously, but she seemed far from ready to explain, averting her eyes to look up the mountain.

Not noticing Reeah’s expression, Daisuke said, “I was attacked by one when I was a Nidorino. Reeah helped me out.” He broke into a hesitant yet gallant grin and pointed out, “You should go and help you team, Odd.” He began to trudge up the steep rocks, shoving some stones out of his way. He almost appeared to be making steps. I followed him with a puzzled expression.

“Are you helping me?”

Daisuke shrugged. “There’s no reason not to. Me ’n’ Reeah just roam around now. We have nothing much to do.” He lowered his voice and added, “Reeah doesn’t care much for others. I know what’s the right thing to do. In this case, it’s helping to save your team.”

I smiled gratefully and saw Reeah lift her head out of the corner of my eye. The Arbok let out a loud sigh and started up the rocks after us. “Daisuke, Daisuke,” she muttered out of the side of her mouth. “Why do I do this?” The Nidoking chuckled, thought not as obnoxiously as Dorian, the Nidorino who had parted with us before the journey. At the thought of the purple rabbit, I frowned. If he heard about what happened to Borealis...

Shaking these thoughts away, I climbed up as swiftly as I could. We curved right slightly in order to step onto another ledge. Reeah’s forked tongue flicked off, and she lifted her head. “I can smell something burning,” she told us quietly. She quickened, winding her body around the stones. I saw a ramp ahead and stepped onto it. It clanked with every movement I made and protested loudly when Daisuke stepped onto it. He frowned and backed up.

“I’ll join you two later,” he said. “I don’t want it to fall just because I’m weighted down by too much muscle,” he joked further, smiling.

Reeah snapped, “You’re not leaving me.” She gave me a blank stare before following the Nidoking. As nice as Daisuke sounded, the suspicion never left me. The Arbok was too…unfeeling, perhaps? I shook my head and ran up the ramp as it curved around, grasping the rail. As I turned, I wondered if the team would reach the mountaintop.

Finally, I stepped onto rock again and gasped at what I saw. The metal path led to a large, vaguely circular battlefield suspended over the bubbling lava that was rising. I bit my lip and edged out onto the steel, looking around. To my surprise, I found myself looking at Dalinto.

The Vaporeon’s scales were blackened from an obvious scorch mark, but he seemed otherwise unharmed. He shook his head in amazement. “What happened to you? I saw you fall, but—” He cut himself off and added, “You can tell me, later. I think Team Mist might be hiding out within Mount Battle, perhaps in one of the rooms where the trainers rest their Pokémon. We need to look around, if everyone’s up to it.” As he stated that, Mica limped to his side almost effortlessly. Her paw was probably feeling a little better, though I didn’t know how. I sought out Marigold and smiled as I saw the golden sheep’s head appear above the rocks. She waved a paw, but I saw tears glimmering in her eyes.

“Did Borealis—” I started to ask hesitantly.

Dalinto bowed his head, hiding his expression.

“I’m sorry, Odd,” he said. “The heat, injuries, and attack were too much for him. I really, really hate to say this, Odd, but Borealis did die…”
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  #44  
Old 03-07-2007, 02:32 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

But I like Borealis. He was so lovable and such a great part of Team Fang...I don't want him to die. Couldn't he come back like Marigold? I don't want any of them to die, but Borealis was like an innocent little kid caught in a war he didn't belong to.

I would say good chapter because all your chapters are good, but I didn't like this one. It was too sad.
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Old 03-07-2007, 10:31 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow Sky<<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicune's Child View Post
But I like Borealis. He was so lovable and such a great part of Team Fang...I don't want him to die. Couldn't he come back like Marigold? I don't want any of them to die, but Borealis was like an innocent little kid caught in a war he didn't belong to.

I would say good chapter because all your chapters are good, but I didn't like this one. It was too sad.
You could imagine how I felt, having to write it... Now you're making me feel like the bad guy. I was depressed after finishing up the chapter, too, but I had originally decided to go along with it...

I'll try to get the next chapter put up as soon as I can, but I'm working on other stuff, as well. It should be updated by next week, and I'll possibly start working on it during the weekend.
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