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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #46  
Old 04-05-2007, 06:58 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

Oh wow...that was awesome.

You really now how to write various situations. Uptil now, your description has been amazingly good, but when a battle comes, you tone it down just perfectly so that you can pick up the pace. It's definitely well written. I thought Naomi's attack was a Spark rather than a Volt Tackle, but heh, who am I to complain.

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  #47  
Old 04-05-2007, 02:21 PM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Voldemort View Post
Awesome new chapter! Down with Dyson Corporation! Though I wonder if it'll work... they have the cross-bows.
Well, I guess only Neo can say for sure.
The crossbows are, in fact the alternative to using guns that Trial of Juno used pretty frequently. I figured I needed some kind of weapon that would cause imtimidation, so there it was.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deathspector View Post
Oh wow...that was awesome.

You really now how to write various situations. Uptil now, your description has been amazingly good, but when a battle comes, you tone it down just perfectly so that you can pick up the pace. It's definitely well written. I thought Naomi's attack was a Spark rather than a Volt Tackle, but heh, who am I to complain.

Deathspector
Yeah, this was kind of a turning point chapter, so I wanted it to be a little more speical.

Whether Naomi uses Spark or Volt Tackle... I didn't really give too much thought into it, just noting she was making the attack against a foe many times her size despite the risk of getting hurt. That's pretty much where I wanted to draw the significance.

And more fighting is definitely coming up.
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  #48  
Old 04-05-2007, 02:48 PM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

Yay for fighting! lol

I can't say that I have a favorite type of scene from this story. From the minute I imagined this as I read it in school, I knew that picking and chosing would be out of the question. With your stories there can't be a favorite part Neo.

The whole story is a favorite part for me.

I hope that this made sense. If it doesn't then nya. I blame the stereo. If it does make sense then NYA! I BLAME NO ONE!

=^^= Nya
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  #49  
Old 04-07-2007, 02:14 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

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Originally Posted by Neo Pikachu View Post
The crossbows are, in fact the alternative to using guns that Trial of Juno used pretty frequently. I figured I needed some kind of weapon that would cause imtimidation, so there it was.
I'm guessing this spawns the PG-13 rating? Somehow, I can't imagine a pokemon holding a gun
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  #50  
Old 04-12-2007, 05:53 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

I really like this--it's quite interesting, and you're a very good writer. I'd give a longer review, but it's almost 2 AM and it would probably be incoherent. XD The only thing I can say right now is that you to have a tendency to overuse ellipses. Tomorrow I'll give you a better review if you'd like. =3
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  #51  
Old 04-13-2007, 01:50 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

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Originally Posted by Neptune View Post
I really like this--it's quite interesting, and you're a very good writer. I'd give a longer review, but it's almost 2 AM and it would probably be incoherent. XD The only thing I can say right now is that you to have a tendency to overuse ellipses. Tomorrow I'll give you a better review if you'd like. =3
I use ellipses all the time, not just in fan fiction. I find them more through-provoking, if you want the truth.

Anyway, I'm in the process of writing the next part.
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  #52  
Old 04-13-2007, 02:11 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

I can't wait for the next part Neo! This story is really good! Not as good as Trail of Juno but it's up there with the masterpieces that you've brought to life here at PE2K.

At least that's in my opinion.

=^^= Nya
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  #53  
Old 04-13-2007, 06:46 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

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Originally Posted by RocketMeowth View Post
I can't wait for the next part Neo! This story is really good! Not as good as Trail of Juno but it's up there with the masterpieces that you've brought to life here at PE2K.

At least that's in my opinion.

=^^= Nya
I agree. The fanfic section is pretty much dead without you – well, and that weird new guy, pixelpix, but let's not talk about him, okay?

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  #54  
Old 04-13-2007, 11:04 AM
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Default Re: The Black River Crossing - Path of Jordan (PG-13)

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Originally Posted by Deathspector View Post


I agree. The fanfic section is pretty much dead without you – well, and that weird new guy, pixelpix, but let's not talk about him, okay?

Deathspector
LOL. Pixel dude hasn't been seen for quite a long time after Neo locked both of his threads. I never thought people would actually miss him though.
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