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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 12-13-2006, 01:09 AM
Blazeiken12's Avatar
Blazeiken12 Offline
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Default Pokemon Academy

Chapter 1- The Department!part 1

Tyler was late. Tyler ran across his street in Futaba Town with his 1 Pokemon, Korinku who stood on his shoulder. Tyler was going to a special academy, known as Pokemon Academy. Everyone in Tyler's family graduated from Pokemon Acdemy with all A's, but Tyler was a special 12 year old. He was able to communicate with his Pokemon along with other Pokemon as well.

"Well Spark, are you ready for this academy." Tyler asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Spark answerd. Spark was in the Korinku species.He was a normal Korinku. was a small mix of a blue & black color pokemon. Korinku had yellow dizzy eyes, and a short black tail, at the end of his tail was a small star. Korinku didn't like the going inside his pokeball for unknown reasons, so he just rested upon Tyler's shoulder. Tyler's grandfather had given Korinku to Tyler at a young age of seven after his grandfather had his Blaziken save it from a pack a stampeding Taurous.

Tyler ran past another corner until the docks came into view.

"Were not going to make it!" Spark yelled.

"Yeah, we will!" Tyler yelled back. Tyler ran to the docks and jumped. He barly grabbed the iron pole as he pulled himself onto the ferry.

"You, are the dumbest person I know!" Spark yelled.

"We made it didn't we." Tyler said.

"Yeah, we did but we were almost killed!" Spark yelled.

"Yeah, but we made." Tyler said.


"You idiot," Spark Said. Tyler aand Spark took a seat close to a nearby raling breathing hard until a man passed out a
small red abd orrange flyer saying "Pokemon Acdemy Rules and Guidelines.

To Be Contiued........
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  #2  
Old 12-13-2006, 02:32 AM
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Leon Phelps Offline
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Posts: 81
Default Re: Pokemon Academy

I apologize in advance for sounding like a grumpy old man. This wasn't the most creative idea, but at least you didn't completely summarize an anime and call it your story like the other guy.

Quote:
Tyler was late. Tyler ran across his street in Futaba Town with his 1 Pokemon, Korinku who stood on his shoulder. Tyler was going to a special academy, known as Pokemon Academy. Everyone in Tyler's family graduated from Pokemon Acdemy with all A's, but Tyler was a special 12 year old. He was able to communicate with his Pokemon along with other Pokemon as well.
In your first paragraph, you said "Tyler" entirely too many times. Why not spice things up with a juicy pronoun like "He"? Repetition bores the reader. To be honest that whole paragraph needs more life. God, this was full of almost every Gary-Stu'd cliche there is. "Tyler was late", "Tyler is special", "Tyler has straight A's in his blood", "Tyler has psychic powers so he can talk to Pokemon". Use some creativity. This is played out and stale.

Quote:
small red abd orrange flyer saying "Pokemon Acdemy Rules and Guidelines.
Don't rush your stories. Just about every word in this last sentence is spelled incorrectly. Not to mention you have "Too be continued" when it's already short. Put more time and effort into your work if you want people to actually enjoy it.
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