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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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Old 04-16-2012, 04:17 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Default Blowing Smoke (PG-13) Updated to Chapter Four

I've recently begun writing a story about none other than myself, and I figured since this forum is nice enough to have a section devoted to writing, why not put it up? Keep in mind that this is likely a very rough draft, and may be edited later on, but perhaps some of you will enjoy reading it anyway.

I'm rating this as PG-13 due to swearing, violence, and suggestive themes, so if your offended by those sorts of things, please pass this story by.

I throw you right into the story with no real background information, and so I'll tell you that this is a story about myself, Miasma, and how not very nice of a Pokémon I am. At least that's what all the townsfolk think about me. I am faced with the decision of either keeping a promise I made to my friend to stop killing, or to betray my friend by getting revenge for the recent death of my father.

Blowing Smoke
Chapter One: What have You done for Me lately?

The floor felt cold, and wet as I lay upon it, while I slowly regained consciousness. Slowly opening my eyes, I could barely make out the crude stone walls surrounding me in the darkness, and what appeared to be a rusty metal gate directly before me. The underside of my body burned painfully, and as I struggled to move, I quickly realized why. Whoever had put me in here had thrown me into a puddle that must have collected from the drops of water that were leaking from above.

Quilava such as myself grow weak in the presence of water, and I could feel the effects of lying in this puddle beginning to spread through my body as I regained my senses. I wondered how long I had been bathing in the life-leeching liquid, but my thoughts were cut short as I heard a noise come from directly in front of me.

Realizing that it was the sound of the metal gate screeching open, I went to jump to my feet when I realized that my wrists had been cuffed behind my back, making it incredibly hard just to raise myself up off the floor with only my hind legs. No sooner did I manage to stand upright before someone taller than myself was looming over me, their face enshrouded by the darkness of the room.

I went to tell the figure to stay back when I realized that my mouth had been tied tightly shut by a rope around my muzzle. Taking a step back, I felt that even my legs were not free from the binds of my imprisonment, instead they appeared to be shackled in a similar fashion to my wrists. A chill suddenly ran down my back, as it became all too aware of my helplessness in this situation, a feeling that I absolutely detested.

“No sudden moves, thief. If I see as much as a puff of smoke out of that foul mouth of yours, and I’ll cut you to pieces, got it?” I could sense disdain in the deep voice of the man who stood before me, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I was able see that I was dealing with a Sceptile.

The tall green lizard reached out a hand to the rope around my muzzle, roughly untying it, and tossing it onto the floor. Smirking mischievously, I took advantage of my mouth’s freedom to have a crack at the over sized grass gecko.

“Yeah yeah, I get it. You’re the big scary monster here to make me squeal, and spit out everything I know.” Glaring up at my captor, I scoffed. “Just remember chump, I’d burn you down to nothing but ashes if we were in any other situation.”

In the blink of an eye, the Sceptile backhanded me along the side of my head, nearly knocking me off my feet. Though a muffled cry worked its way from my mouth, I did my best to keep the pain hidden from my face, not wanting to appear weak in front of this oaf of a man.

“Don’t talk back to me, thief. I don’t have to be nice to you, and I’m not going to take your crap. You’ve killed innocent townsfolk, and that’s reason enough for me to beat you to a pulp right now. You really don’t want to give me any more reasons.” The lizard’s voice had grown angry, and though part of me was pleased to get a response, another part of me knew he was strong enough to deliver on his threatening forward.

Figuring that the slap I had received didn’t hurt that bad, and my captor was still doing the intimidation spiel, I figured I’d try to get under his skin a bit. “Those idiots had it coming to them. If they had just handed over the goods like we told them to, they would’ve lived.”

I could see the oversized gecko’s agitation building, and it made me grin with satisfaction. “They were too stupid to give up, and too weak to save their own lives. Who would care about a pathetic bunch of losers like them anyway?”

While my captor clenched his fists tightly, I braced myself for what I knew would soon come. “How dare you speak of the dead like that? I’m not just going to stand here, and listen to you disgrace my sister!” With his voice booming loudly, the Sceptile reeled back, and delivered a punch to my stomach with all his might.

Yelling out in intense pain, I was sent toppling over backward onto the floor, while I choked up a fairly large cloud of black smoke. My whole body shook while I struggled to gather my bearings, managing only to sit up upon the floor, while the enraged man approached me. Just barely able to contain the hurt my body was experiencing, I forced myself to laugh at my captor’s anger, feeling proud of my defiant display in the face of this brute. “I-is that all you can do, big guy? No wonder your sister was so weak. It must run in the family!”

Before I knew it, the over sized gecko delivered a powerful blow to my nose, knocking me violently to the floor once again. My pain tolerance had finally been surpassed, and I moaned at the awful feeling of the back of my head smacking into the hard stone floor. To my dismay, the Sceptile climbed over me, and began punching me again, and again, and again.

The lizard screamed down at me while assaulting me in a fit of rage. “You son of a *****, I’ll kill you, I don’t even care about guild!” My cries grew weaker as I began to feel faint, but the strength of my captor’s blows seemed to be weakening as well. I could hear him crying now as he punched me slowly, eventually stopping altogether before standing up, and stepping back.

“No… I’m not a damn murderer like you, and I won’t bring myself down to that level…” I could hear the Sceptile turn around as I lay upon my back, and his continued sobs made me feel strong, even after taking such a beating. This chump was nothing more than a big baby, and I knew who had really won in this little exchange.

Belching up a plume of black smoke that dirtied the air in the room, I laughed weakly while the gecko picked up the rope he had removed from me earlier. “Maybe you should try coming down to my level sometime, chump… Who knows, maybe you’d enjoy it.” I found myself grinning once again, gathering enough strength to sit myself up upon the floor, while I let the cloudy miasma in my belly flow out of my mouth with each breath.

“No… I could never be like you, and your kind. With your twisted sense of justice, and corrupted ways, your nothing but a scar on the face of this world.” Though he had stopped crying, I could hear the sadness in his voice as my so called captor stepped through the building smog I had created, and tied the rope in his hand tightly around my muzzle, sealing my mouth shut but not wiping the grin off my face.

“You might not talk for me, but it doesn’t matter…” To my amusement, the man choked a bit as he spoke, having to breath in the tainted air around him. “I can’t stand your stench anyway, so they’ll just have to get someone else to deal with you.” With that, the defeated Sceptile made his way out of the room, slamming the rusty metal gate shut behind him. As he disappeared into the darkness, I slowly got to my feet, and began to properly survey my prison.

Though it was very dark, some light was generated by an oil lamp that was suspended from above, while the water dripping down from the ceiling around it let me know that I was probably underground. Being in no shape to formulate a plan of escape, I trudged over to a wall, and sat myself down next to it. Resting my back upon the stone wall, I guessed I would just have to wait, and see who these losers would bring in next.

Quite some time passed, and eventually I fell into an uneasy slumber; apparently they weren’t sending anyone else today.

- - - -

I didn’t dream while I slept, but I wished that I had as it would have allowed me to escape from the dampness of the awful room I was being held prisoner in. I wanted so desperately to yawn as I began to awaken, but that accursed rope was keeping my mouth shut. As I slowly opened my eyes, I could see some sort of light coming from beyond the metal door that sealed my chamber, and I soon noticed that the light was being carried by a person.

My eyes went wide even before the gate opened, recognizing the figure through the metal bars. Getting onto my feet, I walked to the middle of the room as a cute pink Flaaffy with soft white wool carefully opened the metal gate before me. Stepping forward to meet me, she was no doubt the friend I had made from town, the banker’s daughter. “Mia… Oh, just look at you.” Her expression looked mixed with worry, and disappointment, no doubt in part thanks to my appearance after the beating I took from before.

Reaching up to my muzzle, the adorable little Flaaffy untied the rope holding my mouth closed, letting it fall to the floor. “Velvet, what are you doing here? Why would you have the key to the gate, unless…” I trailed off, while the look in her eyes answered my question.

“I told them about us. About how you’re my… were my friend, for such a long time. I don’t agree with what you’ve been doing, but when I heard you had been captured, I didn’t want them to hurt you… I guess it’s already too late for that.” Velvet spoke softly, the slightest hint of sadness in her voice as she reached up a paw to caress my badly bruised cheek.

Scoffing a bit, I smirked down at the little sheep girl. “It doesn’t hurt that much. The big brute they sent in before you packed a punch, but that’s about all there was to him. I had him crying by the time we were done with our little conversation, the sad sap he was.”

Velvet frowned at me, and my grin quickly faded. “So… why are you here anyway? Are you going to set me free or not?” The annoyance in my voice was obvious, even to myself, but the silence after my asking began to make me feel uncomfortable. “Well? You are going to help me, right? …Velvet?”

The pink sheep sighed softly, looking down at the stone floor under our feet. “Mia, you’ve killed innocent people… You deserve to be punished, but I want to believe that you’re not bad. I don’t want my friend to be some evil person who murders others for no good reason!” Her words sounded hurt, and I wished that my shackles weren’t holding my paws behind my back, so that I could try to comfort her.

“Look Velvet, I told you before, we gave those people every chance we could to hand over what we wanted, but they refused.” I had tried explaining this before, but she wasn’t looking any more convinced now than she did the last time.

“No.” The fluffy sheep shook her head before glaring up at me. “No, Mia. That’s just not acceptable… Killing people just isn’t right, I don’t care what the reason is. That’s why I don’t feel right about what happened to your father, and…” Pausing for a moment, Velvet seemed to contemplate something in her mind.

“T-that’s why I’m going to give you a second chance… but only if your guild stops killing people. You know I don’t care that you’re thieves, but I refuse to help you out if you continue to be associated with a group of murderers. Now that your father is gone, you should be able to convince them to stop, shouldn’t you?”

I glanced down for a moment, almost having forgotten the last raid I had gone on with Brimstone, and the other guild members. The last thing I remembered was seeing his body laying motionless upon the ground outside of the building, and then everything went dark. The reality hadn’t sunk in yet that he was actually dead, and I found myself struck with a moment of grief.

Apparently Velvet could feel my pain, and embraced me in a tight hug. “I-I’m really sorry about your father… But certainly you can relate to the people your guild has brought suffering to with the deaths of their loved ones. You don’t want to do this to anyone else, do you? You don’t want to make someone else feel the way you do right now, surely?”

She was right, I felt pretty low right now, but I still believed that our actions were justified. Brimstone knew the risk of raiding that building with such a powerful guard protecting it, and ultimately he paid the price for being foolish. He may have been my father, but he also knew that this could have happened at any time with the line of work he was in.

“I know your right Velvet, and I tell you what… if you set me free, and get me out of here, I’ll make sure that our guild goes back to peaceful thievery. I promise you that.” My voice was as deep, and smooth as I could make it, while I stared into her eyes. Leaning down a bit, I placed a soft kiss upon her cheek, partly to seal my promise, but also just to feel her soft skin again after having missed it for such a long time.

The Flaaffy blushed as I stood up straight, smiling down at her before turning around, and waving my cuffed paws about in front of her. “O-okay Mia, I’ll believe you, but you’d better keep your promise.” Velvet spoke softly before pulling a small key free from her fluff, and unlocking the metals cuffs around my wrists. Once they were removed, it felt so good to be able to move my arms freely again, and I took the opportunity to stretch them out a bit.

Next she unlocked the shackles on my legs, and I kicked them off eagerly, turning around to face my little pink angel. “Thanks Velvet, you’re the best.” Wrapping my arms around her, I gave her a tight hug before we both turned our attention to the metal gate that lead out of the chamber. “Lets get out of this dump” I scowled. “The dampness is making my skin crawl.”

The fluffy Flaaffy agreed, and we both made our way out of the room, and down the hallway lit by the lantern she had been carrying. There we several other gates in the hallway, and I could only assume that they were rooms similar to the one I had been in, and that this really was some sort of prison.

“I didn’t know this town even had a prison, then again I’ve never known anyone who got caught before either…” I would admit that I was at least a bit embarrassed about being captured, but I couldn’t even see what had knocked me out before it had happened.

“Well, that’s because it’s not actually in the town itself.” Velvet spoke in a lecturing tone, as she often did, but that was something I actually found endearing about her. “Were underground, just at the edge of the forest to the east side of town. There’s an old run down shack covering the entrance, so most people just ignore it."

As we continued on, I could see a brightly lit doorway at the end of the hall, and no sooner had we stepped through it, I had the prison’s guard up in my face. “Hold it right there! Where do you think your going, thief?!” The guard was a Kabutops, and his bladed arm had already been brought up to my neck, ready to slice me open if I made any sudden moves.

Velvet shouted at him loud enough to hurt my ears. “Stop it! He’s promised to stop the thieves guild’s murderous ways, so I set him free.” The Kabutops turned to her, with a startled look upon his face. “You did what?! He’s a murderer, a thief! How can you just take his word for it? He could have hurt you in there. I knew I shouldn’t have let you go alone…”

The guards words were making Velvet mad, and I could see her little paws clench tightly into fists. “Now listen here mister, he’s not a bad person, he’s my friend! I know he’s done some bad things in the past, but not everything people say about him is true, I know it’s not.”

I was surprised to see her stand up for me like that, after all the terrible things I had done since we stopped seeing each other. It almost made me feel bad to take advantage of her unusual trust in me, but only almost.

"So your saying he’s not a murderer? Then what of the family claiming he killed their daughter? The Sceptile who was here just yesterday, his sister was said to have been killed by this very person.”

Velvet shook her head, and spoke more calmly than before. “His father… Brimstone was the one who killed her, not Miasma. He might have been there, but he’s not a murderer, he just isn’t. Now that Brimstone has passed away, don’t you think he deserves a second chance at life? A life without that man corrupting him?”

The Kabutops sighed heavily, stepping back, and looking me over for a moment. “Is… is what she says true? Was Brimstone the one who killed the girl, and not you?” I nodded, lying through my teeth. “Yes sir, I didn’t want to admit it because of the circumstances… Brimstone… I mean my father wasn’t above killing kids, but I didn’t want everyone else to know that. I felt… ashamed of him, and so I took the blame instead.”

The prison guard seemed to think for himself for a moment before turning to Velvet once again. “And you say that he is going to stop the thieves guild from killing any more townsfolk? How can you be sure of this?” Velvet placed her paws on her hips, looking confidently at the Kabutops. “Because I’m going to their guild with him, and I’ll make sure he keeps his promise!”

“W-what?! Your going with him to meet those goons?! But what if they hurt you? What if they kill you? You father wouldn’t let me live if I let you go with Miasma, and something happened to you…” The guard couldn’t believe what he had heard, but Velvet’s expression was one of determination, and he knew she had made up her mind.

Stepping forward, I looked up at the Kabutops, trying my best to reassure him. “Don’t worry, I won’t let any harm come to her. My father was our guild’s leader, and they all have a lot of respect for me. They wouldn’t hurt a friend of mine, I’m certain of that, sir.”

Placing an arm upon his head, and sighing deeply once again, the guard caved in. “Fine, I’ll let the people around town know what really happened, but I wouldn’t go wandering around there if I were you, thief. There are a lot of people who would like to see you beaten senseless for what you’ve done… or haven’t done, whatever.”

Velvet nodded, grabbing me by the paw, and pulling me towards the shack’s exit. “Okay, we’ll make sure to avoid going into town then. Thank you for understanding! Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it.”

The prison guard spoke lowly as we made our way to the front door. “If she has as much as a scratch on her when she comes back, I’ll have your head, thief. You hear me?” Turning my head to look over my shoulder, I nodded at him. “Yeah, I know. Nobody is going to hurt her while she’s with me, I promise you that.”

With that, Velvet, and I escaped the prison shack together. Once we were outside, I took the lead, and we set off to meet up with some of my close friends from the guild.

Last edited by Miasma; 05-13-2012 at 04:01 AM.
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Old 04-17-2012, 04:15 AM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13)

I really like your story. The plot and character development is excellent thus far, keep it up! I'll definitely be subscribing to this thread; I want to see what else you come up with for this story :)
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Old 04-18-2012, 02:00 AM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mintjelly View Post
I really like your story. The plot and character development is excellent thus far, keep it up! I'll definitely be subscribing to this thread; I want to see what else you come up with for this story :)
Thank you! Knowing I have someone who enjoys it makes me want to keep writing, so I appreciate your comment.

Blowing Smoke
Chapter Two: Step into My office

I led the cute Flaaffy girl into the forest, making sure to avoid the town where I was nothing but a thief, and a killer. Along the way, she seemed to enjoy walking through the lush vegetation, pointing out the various flowers growing along the paths we traversed. Personally I wouldn’t mind if the whole forest burned to the ground, and now that I thought about it, I would actually enjoy that quite a bit, but I kept those thoughts to myself.

Next we hiked up a steep mountain range that surrounded the town, and I had to help her keep her footing several times along the way. Once we reached the peak, we were greeted by a sight that made my heart race, as our destination was just on the opposite side of the mountain. “Mia… W-what is this place?” It never dawned on me that Velvet wouldn’t have known about this place, considering that I had never told her, and the chumps in town didn’t like to talk about it.

Lying below us was a large abandoned factory complex, with several buildings that spanned acres of land. It appeared that there used to be a forest surrounding the factory at one time, but it had long since been destroyed by a massive blaze, leaving only the charred stumps of trees dotting the land. Replacing the water that used to flow through the streams in the forest was a black sludge that constantly boiled up through several strange machines throughout the complex.

The entire area was blanketed in thick smog, generated in part by the continually smoking stacks that rose up high above one of the factory buildings. Compared to the so called utopia on the other side of the mountain range, I realized that this place must look very alien to the daughter of the richest man in town.

“This is where I go when I’m sick of all the green stuff you townsfolk adore so much.” I teased, giving the fluffy sheep a rough nudge, which was returned with a look of confusion. “You mean you… like this place?!” I laughed at her response, grabbing her paw while I began to lead her down the mountain, despite her obvious reluctance to continue on.

“Of course I like it. Everything here is so dry, and the air is just so full of energy.” Taking in a deep breath, I savored the smoky air for a moment before continuing. “Just being here makes me feel stronger, almost like it’s meant for me, you know?” Turning my head to look at Velvet while we walked farther down the mountain, I could see she was already holding her nose.

“N-no Mia, I really don’t. I think this place is… awful. It’s just dreadful!” Shrugging off her opinion, I picked up the pace, dragging her along with me to the bottom of the mountain. It was dark even during the daytime, as the smog overhead blocked out much of the sun’s light, and I could tell the harsh scenery was beginning to scare the little Flaaffy.

“My friends are up ahead, inside that building over there.” I motioned toward the largest structure in the factory complex, which had smoke stacks sprouting from its roof. “I want to stop in, and get a few drinks before we start looking for the guild members.”

“W-wait, but I thought that’s what we were supposed to be doing now!” Shaking my head, I grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her to the factory building’s entrance door. “We can do that later, right now I just want a drink, okay? Unless you think you can make me do otherwise, little lamb…” I crossed my arms, frowning, and glaring down at Velvet with glowing red eyes.

“N-no, I just…” She stuttered nervously, bringing a smirk to my face. She might act brave sometimes, but I felt pretty good knowing I could intimidate her whenever I wanted to. She knew who was leading this little adventure, whether she liked it or not. “Then quit wasting my time, and come inside with me.” Throwing the disheveled door open, I led her inside, into the massive room that awaited us.

Inside the building were a number of large steaming vats, filled with various chemicals that had long since outlived their original purpose. The place was surprisingly well lit by strange glass balls that didn’t use oil to make light, instead some magical force seemed to power them constantly.

Off to the side was a long bar-like table situated in front of a doorway, with an abstractly shaped creature resting behind it. Several Grimer were spread throughout the building, sucking up the sludge that seeped from the many broken pipes contained within the facility.

The sight made Velvet squeal, and turn right around to bolt back outside, but I quickly placed her arm in my firm grip. “Come on Velvet, don’t be such a wuss. I told you before, nobody is going to hurt you with me around.” The sheep girl whimpered, and looked at me with pleading eyes. “B-but the air is so thick I can barely breath! I don’t want to be in this place, it’s even worse than outside!”

Placing a paw around her muzzle, I shut her mouth. “You’re the one who volunteered to come along with me to make sure I keep my promise in the first place, so you just need to tough it out for a little while, and be good to your word. I’m not going to stay here for that long anyway, I just want to drink for a bit.”

Releasing her, I turned away from the wimpy Flaaffy, and made my way over to the makeshift bar. Several crude stools had been put together in front of the table, and I jumped up onto one, making myself comfortable while the bartending Muk gave me a look of surprise. “Miasma, is that really you? We heard you’d been killed along with your old man in the last town raid…”

At this point, some of the Grimer nearby had taken notice to my presence, and slid their way over to me. “Who else would come into a place like this?” One of them remarked with a laugh. “Miasma here is the only guy I know who isn’t made of sludge to fall in love with the kinda drink served here. The stuff would kill anyone else but this kid.”

It was true, I had been coming here for quite some time now, feeding the fire in my belly with the variety of chemicals this place had to offer. The people here had taken me into their grimy group of friends, if only out of respect that I had lived through drinking the stuff when no others that came here had.

“Give me a can of the strongest stuff you’ve got Sooty, I have a lot of things I want to forget about from the last couple of days.” I spoke in a joking manner, but what I said wasn’t a lie. Things had been going downhill with the guild for awhile, but Brimstone’s death was the straw that might have broken our backs.

The Grimer around me all took seats at the bar with me, while Sooty went back into the room behind the table to fetch our poison. I had almost forgotten about Velvet, and when I looked over my shoulder to see where she was, I had to roll my eyes. She was standing in the same spot where I had left her, right next to the door leading outside, just watching me with worry in her eyes.

Once the bartending Muk had returned, and placed cans on the table for all of us, I eagerly picked mine up with both paws, dumping its contents into my mouth, and chugging it down. Slamming the empty can down onto the table, I let out a satisfying belch of toxic black smoke that dispersed into the air above me.

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad, kid. He was a hell of a man, I know that much. Leading the rebellion against those self-righteous townspeople like he did for so long, he was a real hero to a lot of people out here.” Sooty took my empty can, and replaced it with three other ones, filled to the brim with steaming darkly colored sludge.

“It’s okay… He told me this day would come, and he knew how dangerous what we were doing was. I guess it was inevitable, really…” Grasping one of the cans, I drank about half of it in one swig, as miasma began pouring constantly up from the side of my mouth, tainting the air more every second. Around a crowd like this, there was no reason for me to hold it in, instead they always seemed to enjoy my smoking.

Sooty grinned at me, giving me a look I had seen more than a few times before. “After something like that, I bet you could use something to relieve all the tension you must have built up inside, huh? If you want, I’d be willing to help you out once your belly is filled to your hearts content. You know I don’t mind.”

I laughed, wishing I could accept her offer as I had done before, but I knew now wasn’t the right time for that. “Nah, I’m sorry to say I can’t play with you today Sooty. I have company over there that probably wouldn’t appreciate that sort of thing…” While I finished off my second can, the bartending Muk looked over to Velvet who was of course still standing by the door.

“You mean her? Heh, I hadn’t even noticed the little lamb… she scared or something? She looks like she’s ready to bolt outside at any moment.” Setting down the empty second can, I picked up my third, and turned to look at my companion. “Yeah, that’d be her. Hey Velvet! Come over here, and meet the nice people! Unless you want to continue being rude.”

I could see her scowl at me while she slowly approached, which only made me smile. “Alright everyone, this here is my friend Velvet. Be nice now, she’s got soft skin in more ways than one, and believe me I know, if you get what I mean.” I chuckled, and the Grimer around me joined in my laughter, making Velvet blush furiously. “M-Mia, you’re being so cruel today…”

Sooty snorted at her comment. “Cruel? Miasma’s always had a crude sense of humor. It’s one of my favorite things about our toxic little hedgehog.” She gave me an endearing look, and I winked at her with a grin. “Are you sure your really his friend? Anyone who’s been around him long enough should know that.”

The fluffy Flaaffy bristled somewhat, raising her voice. “Of course I’m his friend! I mean… I like that about him too, but we haven’t even met before, so I think that kind of humor is a bit out of line.” Sooty shrugged as I took a large drink of my oily beverage, burping up another poison filled cloud to feed the growing smog in the air, making Velvet cough.

“Well, either way, the name’s Sooty. It’s nice to meet you Velvet.” The Grimer sitting at the bar all said their hellos to her, legitimately glad to have a new face in their usually desolate facility. “We don’t get many visitors here other than Miasma, for… obvious reasons.” She motioned to the polluted air circulating through the room.

Velvet put her paws over her mouth, coughing a bit more. “N-nice to meet all of you too… You’ll have to forgive me, I’m not used to being in a place where the air is so... dense.” Finishing off my third can of sludge, I could feel the effects of the chemicals beginning to distort my thoughts, but I didn’t mind. I found these feelings helped take the edge off, and allowed me to relax.

“So, anything I should know about what happened after our last raid? I assume everyone else got out okay?” I glanced back over to Sooty after exchanging my empty can for the fourth, and final beverage I planned to have today.

“Yeah, I didn’t hear about anyone else getting killed, so I guess they all made it out. I did hear that Chubs is trying to make himself the new leader though…” The bartender frowned at her own comment while I took a sip of sludge. “Chubs?” I snorted. “That fat ass always was entitled.”

“Everyone in the guild knows that I was to be the leader if Brimstone disappeared, the big man said so himself. Why would that overgrown rat try to take over when we were all in agreement that I should be the leader when my dad kicked the can?”

Sooty shook her head. “Everyone thought you were killed too, at least that’s the crap Chubs has been spreading around for the past couple of days since you were gone. Not only that, but he’s high on getting revenge for Brimstone, so he’s actually become pretty popular with everyone at the guild.”

“You have to remember, they all stepped out of your way because you were Brimstone’s boy. Mess with the boy, and your messing with the man himself, but now that he’s gone…” I shot Sooty a fowl look, knowing where she was going with this. “Look, I don’t need my old man to have their respect, and I never did. I’ll march in there, and shove Chubs’ words right up his ass if I have to.”

Gulping down my last can, I slammed it on the table, and hopped down from the stool. I nearly fell on my face as my feet hit the floor, not realizing just how inebriated I had become, prompting Velvet to hold my arm. “Mia, are you okay? Maybe you shouldn’t have drank so much…”

Growling at her, I pulled my arm free, stumbling away from her a bit. “I’m fine, okay! Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” Black smoke spewed from my throat, whether I wanted it to or not at this point, as I began to make my way awkwardly to the exit.

“Miasma dear, please be careful… I know your confident… and I’m confident in you too, but please don’t be surprised if you have to gain the respect of your guild members all over again. If Chubs has won over some of the stronger members, I hate to think of the fight you’ll have on your hands…”

Ignoring Sooty’s comment, I shoved the door open, and stepped outside into the world of pollution surrounding the facility. Velvet followed closely behind as I made my way slowly toward the mountain range that shielded the town, and its surrounding areas from what was left of the old world… my world.

Getting a bit dizzy, I stopped for a moment, placing my paws on my knees to keep myself upright. Velvet placed her paw on my shoulder, looking as worried as ever. “Mia, why don’t you just rest for awhile before we go to your guild? I can tell your upset…” I growled at the annoying Flaaffy, stepping away from her again, I didn’t want to admit it but she was right.

How dare that fat rat try to take what was rightly mine? I didn’t put up with the old man for all those years just to be shoved aside by some butt kisser who couldn’t fight to save his worthless life. “Darn it Velvet, I told you I’m… Ugh…” A stabbing pain plagued my stomach, as the smoke I breathed suddenly began to dissipate.

Apparently the abuse I took in that jail cell had weakened me more than I had expected, and I could feel the fire in my belly beginning to die down from having so much drink poured on it. “Urk… o-okay Velvet, we’ll take a break before we go…” Slumping down onto all fours, I made my way over to one of the immense number of burnt tree stumps in the area, sitting myself up against it.

Closing my eyes, I tried to focus on stirring up the fire in my stomach before it went out. After a few tense moments, I managed to burp up a fresh cloud of pollution, as my fires gradually began to regain their strength. “Mia… I know you don’t feel good right now, but…” I opened my eyes as Velvet spoke, surprised to see that she wasn’t looking at me, but rather she was looking off into the distance.

“W-what is this place, really? Why is everything so… dirty, so ugly, so… corrupted?” Remaining silent for a moment while I caught my breath, I began blowing smoke freely from my mouth one again, wondering why she never asked a similar question about my own appearance before. “Are you sure you really want to know that, Velvet?” I spoke with a solemn tone, and truly wondered whether it was a good idea to tell her.

“Of course I want to know. How can I just stand here in a place I’ve never known, and not question why it exists?” Turning around to face me, she had a serious look in her eyes. “Please tell me.” Sighing softly, I shrugged. “Well okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you… it’s not a pretty story.”

Groaning with a bit of effort as I stood myself up, I walked over to the cautiously curious Flaaffy, as we both gazed across the foggy horizon. “There is a legend that says a long time ago there were strange creatures unlike ourselves that enslaved us, and forced us to fight their battles for them. These creatures were very smart, and created all kinds of things, like those factory buildings back there.”

“For many years we served these creatures, until at some point they went to war with each other, using their creations to kill one another. It’s said that what they created to fight in that war is actually what caused this world to be the way it is now, and the town you call home was spared by some sort of… god-like person.”

Velvet tilted her head, glancing at me with a frown. “God-like?” I nodded. “Yeah, according to the legend, someone raised the mountain range around your town, saving it from what happened to this place. Personally I think it’s a bunch of crap… I mean who could possibly be powerful enough to do that? It’s stupid to believe that garbage.”

The little Flaaffy hugged herself, glancing over to the mountain range that separated her home from the outside world. “Y-you mean this is what the rest of the world is like? What I’ve been living in this whole time… it’s all that’s left?” Nodding once again, I stepped in front of Velvet, sneering down at her.

“That’s right, your home is all that’s left living in this damn world, and you townsfolk hoard it all to yourselves.” Getting up in her face, I backed her into the remains of a burnt tree, grabbing her by the neck while she squeaked. “Why do you think there is a thieves guild? Because were bad people, because we enjoy hurting others, because we’re too lazy to work for what we want? No!”

Velvet looked to be close to crying while I snarled at her, my temper having been tripped by talk of that cursed legend. “It’s because people like your father shun us, drive us out of their utopia, and into this. This!” I pointed back at the horribly polluted landscape behind me with my free paw.

“We steal because we can’t get what we need to live in this world, and because your people won’t let us live in their stupid town. We tried reasoning with you, but you chased us away with your hatred for people different from you, while others were killed off for being too persistent.”

I could feel the strangest sensation well up inside of me as my emotions poured freely forth. Suddenly I had the oddest spell of déjà vu. “Your people killed my mom a long time ago… and now… a-and now…” Releasing the concerned Flaaffy’s neck, I felt something wet under my eyes, but it didn’t burn like water normally did.

“Now they’ve killed my father too… I swear I want to kill all of them! “I yelled, my anger only just overcoming my sadness. “Every single one of them for what they’ve done, not just to me, but to everyone else who’s had to live in this hell because they’re too good to share their paradise with us!” Velvet carefully wrapped me in a hug while I began to shake.

“I-I don’t have anything left… there’s nothing left for me to follow, nobody else for me to follow… I feel so… lost without him…” I realized what the feeling under my eyes was, as streams of tears made their way down my cheeks. I was crying. Me…

“I’m sorry Mia… I’m so very sorry… for everything.” Velvet cooed softly, hugging me tighter until I finally returned her embrace. We wouldn’t go to see the guild today, not with how I was feeling both physically, and emotionally. Instead, we would return to her paradise, and bed down in the green forest away from my world of despair.

It was there that she comforted me, and it was there that I realized this beautiful little lamb was all I had left to cling to. Her love was enough to keep me from giving up on this life for at least another day, and for that I was truly thankful.
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Last edited by Miasma; 05-13-2012 at 04:18 AM.
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  #4  
Old 04-22-2012, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13)

Excellent! Please keep them coming :)
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  #5  
Old 04-23-2012, 09:30 AM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Realizing that it was the sound of the metal gate screeching open I went to jump to my feet when I realized that my wrists had been cuffed behind my back, making it incredibly hard just to raise myself up off the floor with only my hind legs.
Um... Quilava are quadrupeds. It would be physically impossible for a quilava's front legs to be tied backwards behind its back. The joints would snap, and there would be horrible, terribly excruciating pain accompanying it. It makes me uncomfortable reading this. Dx

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“No sudden moves, thief. If I see as much as a puff of smoke out of that foul mouth of yours, and I’ll cut you to pieces, got it?” I could sense distain in the deep voice of the man who stood before me, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I was able see that I was dealing with a Sceptile.
...Man? I hope by the mention of a man that the quilava assumed it was a human before recognising him as a sceptile. Because otherwise, uhh...well, pokemon would not refer to each other as 'men' and 'women' because they aren't humans.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“Just remember chump, I’d burn you down to nothing but ashes if we were in any other situation.”
There should be a comma before 'chump' because 'chump' is the name the sceptile is referring to the quilava as.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Figuring that the slap I had received didn’t hurt that bad, and my captor was still doing the intimidation spiel, I figured I’d try to get under his skin a bit. “Those idiots had it coming to them. If they had just handed over the goods like we told them to, they would’ve lived.”

I could see the oversized gecko’s agitation building, and it made me grin with satisfaction. “They were too stupid to give up, and too weak to save their own lives. Who would care about a pathetic bunch of losers like them anyway?”
These two paragraphs have no need to be separated; after all, it is the same character speaking on both lines.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
I’m not just going to stand here, and listen to you disgrace my sister!” With his voice booming loudly, the Sceptile reeled back, and delivered a punch to my stomach with all his might.
You don't need to have that comma there because there is an 'and.' Same with the other sentence with the comma and the and. Also, forgive me for being petty, but I don't imagine a punch would be a sceptile's first attack preference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
I could feel my pain tolerance finally be exceeded,
This is an awkward sentence arrangement. Try something like, "I could feel my pain tolerance finally exceeding its limit" or something instead.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“You son of a *****, I’ll kill you, I don’t even care about guild!”
Asterisks in the place of words ruin the flow of the story. I would suggest "bi*ch" or something instead, as that's what I tend to do. And those commas should be periods or semicolons because before and after them are separate sentences. They would only be right with a comma if they were joined with words like 'and.' If what is either side of a comma can stand on its own as a sentence, the comma should be a semicolon or a period. Or another type of sentence-ending punctuation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
With your twisted sense of justice, and corrupted ways, your nothing but a scar on the face of this beautiful world.”
your should be you're because it's short for you are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
To my amusement, the oversized gecko choked a bit as he spoke, having to breath in the tainted air around him.
breath should be breathe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Why would you have the key to the gate, unless…”
That's a question, so it needs a question mark.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
The pink skinned sheep sighed softly, looking down at the stone floor under our feet.
XDDDDDDDD I read that as a sheep who was skinned and pink. You better add a hyphen between 'pink' and 'skinned.' XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“Look Velvet, I told you before, we gave those people every chance we could to hand over what we wanted, but they refused.”
Since he's addressing her, there needs to be a comma before her name. Also, after 'before' there should be a colon or a semicolon, because what he says relates, but it is a sentence on its own and a comma would be incorrect punctuation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“No.” The fluffy sheep shook her head before glaring up at me. “No, Mia. That’s just not acceptable… Killing people just isn’t right, I don’t care what the reason is. That’s why I don’t feel right about what happened to your father, and…” Pausing for a moment, Velvet seemed to contemplate something in her mind.

“T-that’s why I’m going to give you a second chance… but only if your guild stops killing people. You know I don’t care that you’re thieves, but I refuse to help you out if you continue to be associated with a group of murderers. Now that your father is gone, you should be able to convince them to stop, shouldn’t you?”
They don't need to be separated. xD Again, it's the same character speaking, so separating the paragraphs is unnecessary.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“I know your right Velvet, and I tell you what…
your should be you're.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Wrapping my arms around her, I gave her a tight hug before we both turned our attention to the metal gate that lead out of the chamber.
Uhh...he's a quilava. They don't have "arms." They have front legs. O.o And they certainly can't hug things. Dx

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“Lets get out of this dump” I scowled.
You need a comma after 'dump.'

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
“ I didn’t know this town even had a prison,
Random space before "I."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Were underground, just at the edge of the forest to the east side of town.
This should be we're, because it's an abbreviation of 'we are.'

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Where do you think your going, thief?!”
your should be you're...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
So your saying he’s not a murderer? Then what of the family claiming he killed their daughter? The Sceptile who was here just yesterday, his sister was said to have been killed by this same Pokémon.”
You missed the opening quotation marks. And you wrote your instead of you're again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
Now that Brimstone has passed away, don’t you think he deserves a second chance at life? A life without that man corrupting him?”
...Brimstone was not a man... He's a pokemon... O_o

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
The prison guard seemed to think for himself for a moment before turning to Velvet once again. “And you say that he is going to stop the thieves guild from killing any more townsfolk? How can you be sure of this?” Velvet placed her paws on her hips, looking confidently at the Kabutops. “Because I’m going to their guild with him, and I’ll make sure he keeps his promise!”
You have two characters speaking on the same line here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miasma View Post
The prison guard spoke lowly as we made our way to the front door. “If she has as much as a scratch on her when she comes back, I’ll have your head, thief. You hear me?” Turning my head to look over my shoulder, I nodded at him. “Yeah, I know. Nobody is going to hurt her while she’s with me, I promise you that.”
And again here.

There were many more errors than that, but they were repetitive, so I figure that, with the advice I gave you about the ones I did point out (such as "your" instead of "you're" and the fact that there doesn't need to be commas if the following word is "and" (not always, but a lot of where you put it), and also the fact that you need to know when to replace your commas with semicolons or periods. I would suggest looking it up. When Velvet was talking to that kabutops about letting Miasma escape, she was not making sense with her punctuation. xD I didn't bother to quote it through, as, like I said, I hoped you could fix it on your own.

I'm confused why you're acting like they're all humans. They're not. They're pokemon. And therefore you need to keep in mind that they generally don't hug or kiss the way we do, unless they're bipedal. But a quilava is a quadruped, as I pointed out, so you need to consider the way their joints work as well as the fact that front legs are not "arms." You also constantly refer to pokemon as men, or a "person," when those words are to describe humans. You also refer to pokemon as an animal, such as the "oversized gecko" (which got pretty repetitive) instead of "the oversized gecko pokemon," since pokemon aren't animals, but animal-like. I mean, pokemon could be considered under the umbrella of animals, but I meant that they are not types of already existing animals, like variations. They are pokemon. Keep this in mind.

All grammatical errors and rants out the way, I'm curious about this story. The main character, although I don't like him so far, seems interesting, and I'd like to know about the guild, and what made him the way he is. Velvet is a huge sucker. xD She is totally way too trusting, and I'm sure that'll get her into a lot of trouble. Miasma is an awesome name, by the way. And I just know he'll get into more trouble, and probably kill more pokemon (NOT "PEOPLE" XD). Obviously he's part of a thieves guild or something, and maybe their original policy is not to kill (if you play the Elder Scrolls games then I'll say it reminds me of the Thieves Guild's rules in Oblivion/Skyrim), but maybe Brimstone (which is also a cool name) was the head of the guild and changed the rules...or he could have been a normal member and just gone against the regulations with his son.

The sceptile thing made me sad... I certainly would react similarly to him if my sister (if I had one xD) had been killed. It's so cocky and...agitating (which is a good thing if that's what you were going for XD) that Miasma was mocking him about it, and doesn't see it as any kind of wrongdoing. I really wonder what that will get him into, and like I said, what made him that way. I kind of get the feeling he's a hero and a villain in one, so I'd love to know where you're going to go with the story with him as the protagonist! And I hope I'll get to like him a bit better too. XD

I would highly, highly advise you heed my advice and edit this chapter to the perfection that it could be. I really hope to see these improvements implemented at some stage, and I hope that my advice made sense and can help you to improve!

Keep it up.

~GS.
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  #6  
Old 05-02-2012, 10:33 PM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13)

First off, I want to apologize for the long wait on chapter three. I just started a job last week that requires me to get up at 2:30 in the morning, and so it's really taking some getting used to. But oh well, here it is! I hope you enjoy~

Blowing Smoke
Chapter Three: My Castle made from Sand

My eyes slowly opened as I awoke under the shelter of a large tree within the forest outside of town. Having been curled up atop one of its large roots, I stretched myself out, and released a prolonged yawn. Sitting myself up against the tree trunk, I was surprised to see Velvet was already awake, although it appeared that the sun had only just rose over the mountains.

“Good morning Mia, did you sleep well?” The gentle sheep smiled warmly at me, holding her paws together in front of her belly.

“Yeah, I feel a lot better after a good nights sleep… You’re up awful early though, aren’t you?” I scoffed. “Or do all rich people get up at ungodly hours in the morning?”

Velvet shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I… I just have a lot on my mind, so I couldn’t sleep.” As my grogginess faded, I began to remember the conversation we had yesterday about the old world. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that she would have trouble sleeping after seeing how things really were.

“So you really believe me then? About everything?” I had wondered whether she would be accepting of what I told her yesterday, but her expression didn’t seem unsure.

“…Yes, I believe you Mia. I always have, and it makes sense when I think about it. What my father has been doing all this time… what the town leaders have been doing.”

Turning around, the Flaaffy girl looked up through the treetops at the rising sun as it made its way ever higher above the mountains. “We’ve been led to believe that you’re all bad people, but when I’m with you Mia… I feel like that’s just not true. You might have your problems, all of you, but…”

“But I can see that you aren’t evil. You do what you do because you have to. It’s because we’ve forced you into stealing what you need to survive, and created hatred for us within your hearts. I… I can understand why you hate us all so much…”

Standing myself up, I walked over to my partner, taking my place beside her. “Thanks Velvet. That means a lot coming from you… really.” Leaning over, I placed a kiss upon her cheek, making her blush.

“Oh Mia.” The pretty Flaaffy turned her head to look up at me. “You know I’ll always believe in you. You’re… more than a friend to me.”

I smiled genuinely, embracing her in a quick hug before my thoughts returned to business. “I know, but we’d better head for the guild now. If what Sooty said was right, and Chubs is planning to get revenge for Brimstone, then we have to act fast. If he kills anyone else, it’s just going to make things harder for us later…” Velvet nodded in agreement, and once we were prepared, we set off toward of the thieves guild.

- - - -

Making our way through the forest once again, I led Velvet to a cave that rested in the base of the mountain range, northeast from the town. If luck was with me today, the guild would be meeting here this morning as they often did, to discuss their plans for the next night, and to boast of their achievements from the night before.

“Listen Velvet, I want you to stay out here while I go in, and have a look around. The last thing I need is you getting hurt.”

The fearful Flaaffy pouted. “But Mia, I can’t just let you go in there alone! What if they’re in there?! What if that Muk was right, and-“

Clamping Velvet’s mouth shut with my paw, I glared angrily at her. “Keep it down! If they don’t hurt you for getting caught sneaking in, then you can bet I will for not listening to me. Got it?” Velvet nodded meekly, and I released her from my grip. “Good… now just stay here unless something bad happens. If things go down… just get out of here, okay?”

The sheep girl fretted, but I stared her down. “Urk… Mia, I just… ugh, please be careful.” I promised her that I would, and then proceeded to make my way into the darkness of the cave.

The guild never lit the entrance to the cave, instead we always left it dark to keep away any would be intruders from suspecting anything was inside. Feeling my way along the wall for a while, I eventually reached an area where the cave split off into two separate paths. I took the path on the right that I knew would lead me to the guild’s chamber.

I wasn’t sure that anyone would be here, but as I neared the light of the chamber ahead, my ears twitched upon hearing several voices. Making sure to be quiet, I stepped into the makeshift doorway that opened up into the large room carved into the belly of the mountain.

Several oil lamps brightened the chamber, and all of the usual suspects were gathered at its center, conversing about something I couldn’t quite make out. There was Snap, a fairly young Arbok who was the most imposing of the bunch, and Rubble, a Marowak who was respected for his strategic expertise.

Next to them were Sickle, and Leech, the former being a stealthy Weavile, and the latter being a ruthless Golbat. At the center of the group was Chubs, who seemed to be talking the loudest as usual. It felt strange coming here without Brimstone to accompany me, and I had to admit that I felt kind of nervous with all these dangerous people before me.

Stepping into the room, I was almost immediately noticed by Sickle, who’s attention to me made all the others look in my direction. “Well hey, look what the Grimer dragged in!” Chubs snorted, stepping forth from the group, and walking up to me. “I figured those guard goons woulda gotten rid of you by now, as delicate as you are.”

“Save it Chubs.” I growled. “I need to talk about something…”

The fat Raichu had a smug look on his face as he crossed his arms. “If it’s about Brimstone, were going to get our revenge tonight. You know that greenie-weenie who cheap shot him? Were gonna kill him, and burn down his house. Maybe that’ll teach those townies a thing or two about fighting back.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Chubs raised an eyebrow. “Look, we should just stay in the shadows for awhile, and let things calm down before we kill anyone else. All this bloodshed… it’s not making anything better for anyone, ourselves included. If keep killing, then were just giving them a reason to retaliate!”

The angry Raichu raised a paw in the air, slapping my cheek, and making me yelp. “What the hell is your problem kid? Brimstone would beat you for saying something so stupid, oh but wait, he can’t. He’s dead thanks to those townsfolk!” Grabbing me by the neck, Chubs sneered into my eyes.

“You just waltz in here, and start yapping about how we should just forget about what those vermin did to the boss? You’re a damn disgrace to your father’s name, disrespecting him by saying crap like that. You should want to wipe that town off the planet after what they did to you, and you say you don’t want to kill them anymore?!”

Managing to wrench myself free from his grip, I backed away from the hostile Raichu. “It’s not your call anyway! We all agreed that I was to be the leader if Brimestone went away, he even said so himself! If I say we stop killing, then we stop killing!”

Chubs laughed. “You? Lead this guild? Don’t fool yourself kid, you’ll never be the leader here.”

I felt my heart drop, remembering Sooty’s words. “B-but surely that’s not how everyone feels?!” I stammered, looking over at the other members present. Sickle stepped forward from the group, approaching me first as the other members followed suit, surrounding me in a circle.

“You don’t have the experience or strength to lead this guild, Miasma, and everyone here knows that.” The calm, and collected Weavile stared coldly into my eyes as he spoke, sending a chill up my spine. “You never managed to live up to the promise that Brimstone saw in you, and you failed to become a Typhlosion as a result.”

The next to voice their opinion was Snap, who towered over me. “We’ve decided to allow Chubs to lead the guild, because he’s passionate about our cause, and understands what must be done if we hope to survive. It’s become obvious that you wouldn’t have the skills or the dedication to do the same… To give up on getting revenge for your own father, it’s disgusting to think about.”

Rubble nodded silently in agreement with the intimidating Arbok, while Leech flapped his wings impatiently. “It’s obvious that we wouldn’t let a softie like you tell us what to do! Your dad might have been tough, but you were always too busy hanging out with your pals to contribute to our cause. You should be ashamed to show your face in here after saying such stupid things!.”

While the other members were crushing my hopes with every word from their mouths, Chubs’ smile grew bigger, and bigger. “Well then, since were all in agreement here, and I’m the new leader… I say little Mia here needs to be punished for being so disrespectful to Brimstone. Little whelp…”

I twitched, not being able to believe what I was hearing from everyone. “W-what?! You can’t be serious! I-I… but I just want what’s best for the guild, I’m not disrespecting anyone!”

The amused Raichu grabbed me by the back of the neck, shoving me past the other guild members, and into the center of the chamber. “Who here wants to teach Mia a lesson in respect? Or am I gonna have to do it myself?” Backing away from the group, I knew I was going to have to fight, hopefully not for my life, but for my pride.

“It’d be my pleasure…” To my dismay, the one member of the bunch that I feared the most slithered forward to face me, making me gulp. Snap rose up before me while the rest of the guild cheered in anticipation of the battle.

“Don’t worry runt, I’m not going to kill you. But there are things worse than death you know?” The Arbok laughed, while I did my best to look confident, despite the awful feeling in my stomach.

“You sure talk big Snap, but let’s see you back that up. Maybe after I’m done wiping the floor with you, I’ll take my damn guild back!” Not wasting any time, I opened my mouth wide, unleashing a large plume of fire that raced towards the Arbok with amazing speed. To my delight, Snap wasn’t able to dodge the massive radius of my attack, and was scorched by my flames.

Not surprisingly though, the large snake wasn’t nearly finished. Coiling himself up, the angry Arbok launched himself through the air at me, attempting to slam me with his whole body, but I could see the attack coming from a mile away. Smirking, I easily jumped to the side fast enough to avoid being hit, while Snap struggled to keep himself from running into the chamber wall behind me, only just managing to do so.

I was about to make a snarky comment when the snake let out an ear-piercing screech that made me cover my ears in pain. Even with my paws protecting them, my ears rang loudly, throwing my concentration off for a moment which was all Snap needed to take advantage of me.

Before I knew it, the grinning Arbok was right in front of me, his jaws open wide, revealing four huge fangs that hungered for my flesh. I made an effort to turn away, and run, but it was already too late to avoid what I had feared most about him.

Snap’s long fangs sunk into my flesh with so much ease that it made my heart skip a beat, the pain not bothering me as much as the strange sensation that coursed through my body as I was raised into the air in the jaws of my opponent. The other guild members cheered loudly as I struggled in the tight grip of Snaps mouth, his fangs that had all but completely stabbed through my body had trapped me completely.

I soon realized that the strange feeling I was experiencing was making me tired, or rather it was causing me to lose strength. While my struggles grew weaker, I felt the Arbok’s jaws close tighter, and tighter, pushing his fangs deeper still into my flesh until I was sure they would skewer me the whole way through.

Coming to my senses, I noticed that I was enveloped in a strange aura that seemed to be flowing away from me, and into the large snake. Just as it dawned on me that I was being drained of my energy, Snap whipped his head around, releasing me from his jaws, and throwing me harshly into the chamber wall beside him. I yelled out in pain, as the impact with the rock wall actually hurt more than whatever I had just been subjected to.

The Arbok grinned widely, his fangs dripping with my blood as he laughed at me while I struggled to get onto my feet below him. “It’s not often that I get to feed on one so full of poison. You taste pretty good Mia… Maybe I’ll make you my pet, so I can feed on you more often.” Snap smirked, and turned his head to look back at Chubs. “You wouldn’t mind that, would you boss?”

The fat Raichu scoffed. “As far as I’m concerned, you can do whatever you want with him. Eat away at him to your hearts content!” Finally managing to stand myself up, I took advantage of my opponents little conversation to take him off guard. I’d be damned if I was going to be anyone’s pet.

My fire plume hadn’t seemed to do much to hurt the big snake, and so I focused all the energy I had left on a different kind of attack. My eyes began to glow with an intense pink light, as I channeled my energy into the physical form of an aura that quickly enveloped Snap. Focusing all of my negative thoughts into the Arbok, I wracked him with a horrible pain that made him shriek.

“Y-you little brat… do you honestly think you can overpower me?!” Fighting through my psychic onslaught, Snap heaved his long tail into the air above me, and I watched as it seemed to change color. Shifting from a dark purple to a shiny silver, the Arbok’s tail smashed down upon me before I could move, feeling as if it was made of metal.

Barely hanging onto consciousness, I lay motionless upon the rocky ground, my body crushed by Snap’s powerful attack. “A-alright… I…” I coughed painfully, feeling as if one of my ribs had been broken. “I give up… p-please don’t… don’t do anymore…” The victorious Arbok sneered down at me while I looked pitifully up at him, pleading for mercy, though it made me feel sick to do so.

“Hmph, don’t worry little Mia.” Slithering close to me, Snap brought his tail around, scooping me up with its tip, and wrapping it around me at the end. “I don’t hurt my underlings unless they’ve done me wrong, and I think you’ve already been punished enough for one day at least. Obey me, and we won’t have any problems, but disobey me, and I’ll thrash you again till there’s nothing left.”

Lifting me into the air, the surprisingly gentle Arbok slithered over to the chamber exit with me, as the other guild members laughed at my humiliation. “Now that the boy’s been disciplined, shall we go our separate ways, and prepare for tonight?”

Chubs nodded to Snap, before turning to the other members. “That’s right everyone! Split up until nightfall, then gather everyone up, and meet me on the outskirts of town. Were going to torch that lizard’s house, and if he isn’t inside to meet his demise, we’ll hunt him down afterwards.” Smiling deviously, the Raichu glanced over at me while I was hung above the ground. “Now that Mia’s learned some respect, I think he should do the honors of burning down the house tonight! Make sure the little brat’s healed up for it, ya hear me Snap?”

The calm Arbok nodded in agreement, and soon Chubs was rushing everyone out of the chamber, and into the cave’s hallway that led outside. I became worried as we made our way outside into the daylight, remembering that I had told Velvet to wait here, but I was glad to see that she had already run off.

While everyone went their separate ways, Snap stayed behind with me for a moment, lifting me in front of his face. “Listen here Mia, were going back to my tunnel to rest up for tonight. Do you think you can walk?” I frowned, feeling rather weak after the beating I had just taken, but I nodded gingerly. I’d rather limp along than be humiliated by being carried around by him.

Snap gently set me down on all fours, and I remained there due to the pain in my back, though I quite preferred standing upright. As distanced ourselves from the entrance to the cave, Snap led the way while he demanded that I stay at his side, and not lag behind, keeping an eye on me constantly.

I began to feel sick as I realized the terrible situation I had been placed in, and how following along with the guild would probably ruin my relationship with Velvet. She was already upset with my killing when I deemed it necessary, but tonight would be very different. Tonight would be nothing less than revenge.

After a fairly short walk, we arrived at a large bush with pretty pink flowers blooming all over it. I figured Velvet would have enjoyed the scene, but my train of thought was derailed when I was slapped on the back of the head by the Arbok’s tail. “Hurry up, and get down there! I’m not going to wait all day on your pathetic ass, Mia!”

I almost growled, only just stopping myself from doing so as I didn’t understand what Snap was even talking about. Suddenly I realized that there was a large hole in the ground underneath the wide branches of the bush before us, and I stepped forward to avoid getting another whap from Mr. Pushy.

Trying to climb down into the tunnel, I slipped, and fell onto my backside on the ground below. Groaning softly, I stood up slowly to find myself surrounded by what must have been ten or more Ekans in the dimly lit underground tunnel. “W-whoa, hang on there!” I stammered as the poisonous snakes hissed in unison, and drew closer to me.

Just as I expected the group to jump on me, they all froze in place, turning only their heads as I could hear Snap finally slither his way down into the tunnel behind me. “Easy boys, he’s with me.” The Arbok chuckled, making me mindful the fearful expression upon my face, which I quickly shook off.

The Ekans remained silent once Snap had spoken, slithering off to different parts of the tunnel. It seemed as if I had disturbed them while they were sleeping when I fell down from above. Nudging me over to a fairly large chest that sat upon the tunnel wall, the smiling Arbok loomed behind me. “Go ahead, open up that chest there. We store Oran Berries inside, and I’m sure you could use some, as weak as you are, heheh.”

Growling quietly, I placed both paws on the top of the chest, heaving it’s heavy lid open. Just as Snap said, there were many fresh looking Oran Berries inside, and I wasted little time grabbing one of them, and pulling it out. To my surprise, Snap swung his tail around, whipping my paw, and sending the berry tumbling back into the chest. Holding my aching paw, I turned around to look up at the snickering Arbok. “Whats the big deal?! You said I could have some, so why did you do that?!”

Snap’s laughter only worsened at my angry tone, and it took him a moment to compose himself. “I said you could use some… not that you could have some, oh no no no.” Bending himself down so that he was at eyelevel with me, Snap sneered into my face. “If you want to eat those berries, then you’re going to have to pay the price for them, little Mia. And I have something in mind already…”

I raised an eyebrow at the Arbok, frowning at his words. “Pay the price…? What exactly are you talking about? What do you want me to do for them…?”

“Oh you’ll find out… Just do as I say, my pet, and you’ll get to fill your belly to your hearts content…” I twitched, not liking the sound of this. Today was turning out to be one of the worst days of my life, and the way Snap was talking, it wouldn’t be getting better any time soon…
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  #7  
Old 05-02-2012, 10:38 PM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13)

I realize that this is a double post, but I'd like everyone to note that it was impossible to include this in the chapter three post because of the forum's character limit, and I want to address some things now. So sue me.

To reply to a few of Suicine's concerns, Miasma as a character stands upright, sort of like Buizel. I realize that this might not be how a normal Quilava should stand, but I have seen official artwork that shows they can at least be in that position, which I find easier when writing for some reason. It's one of those things where I've taken some creative freedom with the character, and so I'm sorry if it bothers you, but I don't intend to change that about him.

Another major point brought up was the fact that I'm not referring to the characters as Pokémon, which I assure you is completely intentional. In the world I've imagined here, the characters don't know that they're Pokémon, and so they use more generic means of describing themselves. I've always thought it was strange to hear Pokémon referring to themselves as such in Mystery Dungeon, and whatnot, since I can only assume it was humans who gave them that designation in the first place. Again, its another one of those things where I've taken some creative freedom to play with what's normally done, and change it up a bit, and so I'm sorry if it bothers you.

I think what readers need to realize is that this is not set strictly to any particular guidlines, whether it be canon, or just whats generally accepted in the fandom. It's my own unique interpretation of the Pokémon world, and so you will have to use your imagination quite a bit, and expect the unexpected in terms of delivery.
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Old 05-13-2012, 03:30 AM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13) Updated to Chapter Three

Here is chapter four, and I'm happy to say that chapter five is already in the works.

I had to split this chapter into two parts, ála the character limit. Accursed thing it is.

Blowing Smoke
Chapter Four: A Strange Reunion (Part I)

I was covered in blood as I stood before the lifeless body of the Sceptile who murdered my father only a few days ago. The warm liquid coated my fur, dripping from my paws, and making me feel strange. I had killed him, gotten revenge for my father, and proved how strong I could be. Before long, something off to the side caught my attention, and as I looked over to see what it was, my heart dropped.

Velvet was standing there, eyes full of tears as she gazed at the sight before her. Turning to face me, she looked into my eyes while tears flowed freely from her own. After a moment of staring into me, she shook her head, and ran away from the scene I had caused. It was at that moment when I realized I had lost her for real.

I could never have her love again, and my heart shattered into pieces as I let myself fall upon the ground. I lay there next to the Sceptile’s body, feeling just as dead as it was, or perhaps even more so. There really are some things in life worse than death, I realized, and losing the only real friend I’d ever had was one of them.

- - - -

My eyes shot open as I awoke from the terrible nightmare, feeling my heart race as I breathed heavily, while sweat beaded upon my brow. Groaning softly, I sat myself up in the makeshift straw bed that I was laying in, and glanced about at my surroundings. I twitched as I noticed Snap sleeping soundly beside me, remembering what had happened earlier today with the berries, which made me want to throw up.

At least I was feeling better after eating more than my fair share, and the nap had recharged my energy, making me feel brave enough to attempt an escape from the dark tunnel around me. The nightmare had made me understand that there was no way I could go along with what the guild was doing, even if it meant risking my life. I’d rather be dead than betray Velvet like that. Somehow I had to get away from here, and think about what I wanted to do next, now that my hopes of leading the guild had been shattered.

Being as quiet as I could, I slid off of the pile of straw that had served as my bed. I cringed as it made a shuffling noise when my weight was removed from it, and I feared that the slumbering Arbok might be awakened by it. After a tense moment of standing still, waiting to see what would happen, I breathed a sigh of relief as Snap appeared to remain sleeping.

I began to step away from the large snake, and toward the tunnels steep exit when I felt something firmly grip my left leg. Tugging mightily, I couldn’t seem to break free from whatever I had gotten caught on, and so I looked down to see what it could be. I winced as I saw the end of a purple tail wrapped tightly around my leg, while I could sense the awakened Arbok rise up behind me.

Slithering around me, Snap positioned himself before me, his tail still tightly gripping my leg. “Going somewhere, Mia? I don’t think it’s time to go just yet…” Not wanting to make eye contact with him, I glanced down at the ground. “I-I just wanted to get some fresh air… It’s kind of damp, and musty down here, so I was going to step outside for a moment.”

The purple snake began slithering around me in circles, his lengthy tail surrounding me several times over, making me feel uncomfortable. “Oh, is that all? Do you take me for a fool, or are you just that stupid to think I would believe such a blatant lie?”

Bringing himself in front of me once again, he drew his coiled tail in around me, wrapping my entire body save for my head in it. “N-no I just…” I looked up at Snap with pleading eyes, while his tail was tightening its grip around me with each passing moment. “R-really I…”
The displeased Arbok glared down at me as I squirmed in his grip. “Don’t try to cover up the fact that you want to run away, because I already know you do. That’s not going to happen though...” Snap squeezed me more, and more until I could feel a strain upon my back that made me yelp. “I don’t want to have to tell Chubs that your going to need a replacement tonight, and you don’t want to find out why they call me Snap. Am I right?”

Feeling the pressure continue to build on my spine, as well as my chest, and arms, I blurted out my surrender as quickly as possible. “Y-yes! I’m sorry for trying to run away… a-and I won’t do it again…” My eyes went wide as the cruel snake seemed unconvinced, and I felt something pop in my back, sending a terrible pain shooting through my body. “P-please! I’m sorry master, I’m so sorry!” Beginning to sob, I closed my eyes. “I promise I won’t try to run away again! I’ll do whatever you say! I promise!”

The tears under my eyes had apparently convinced Snap that my words were genuine, as he slowly uncoiled himself from around me, relieving the pressure on my back, and the pain that had overcome it. I flopped onto the ground before him, as he slithered silently back into the straw bed to continue his nap, leaving me to carefully pick myself up.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I felt positively horrible with all that had happened, and all that was continuing to happen. Snap didn’t have to tell me to follow him, as I obediently climbed back into the bed, laying down next to him, and closing my eyes tight. I couldn’t sleep for the next couple of hours, and it was all I could do to keep from crying while I waited for the sun to set on what I felt was the end of my life with Velvet.

- - - -

I could feel the bed shift, and before I knew it, the oddly quiet Arbok nudged me gently with his tail. “Alright Mia, rise, and shine. It’s almost time to meet Chubs at the lizard’s house.” By the time I had opened my eyes, Snap had already gone off to awaken one of the many Ekans that were sleeping all about the tunnel. Sighing deeply, I sat myself up, and rose from the bed. Turning my attention toward the tunnels exit, I crossed my arms as I waited for Snap to gather his followers, but to my surprise, he was accompanied by only two of them as he made his way past me.

Not bothering to ask why he wasn’t bringing more people along, I followed the trio closely as they made their way outside the tunnel, and into the fading sunlight. There wasn’t much time to think about what I was doing, as we kept a rather fast pace, arriving just outside of town before long. I did think about making a break for it at one point during our trip, but I knew Snap would probably be able to chase me down before I could get away, and I really didn’t want to make him mad again so soon.

Once we had reached the rendezvous point, it looked as if everyone else had made it there before we did. Chubs was paired with a Charmeleon that I had never seen before, and a familiar Gastly. Leech was joined by one of his Zubats, along with a Sandshrew that didn’t look like anyone from the guild I knew. Even Sickle was joined by someone I had never seen before, in the form of a wild looking Scyther, although his other partner was one of his usual Sneasels.

Everyone had assembled in trios for this job, aside from Snaps team, who’s was also the only one not to include an unfamiliar member. “So you finally decided to join the party?” Chubs laughed with a bit of reserve for once, and I could only assume it was due to being so close to town. “I hope that runt didn’t slow you down on the way here.” The smug Raichu smiled at me, making me look away.

“Nah, he’s a good boy, just a little rebellious is all. I think I took care of that though.” Snap chuckled softly, while Chubs crossed his arms. “Alright then, I figured I could count on ya Snap. Now then, onto business boys.” Chubs turned around to face the town that was before us, just outside the edge of the forest where we had gathered. “The lizard’s house is that one right there.” The Raichu gestured to a rather tall brown building near the outskirts of town, which looked almost like a tower, rather than a house.

“I want Mia, and Sin to follow me to the front of the building, and everyone else to lay in the shadows just in case our friend manages to escape the blaze through one of the windows. If he comes from the front door, then don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of him.” Everyone nodded in agreement, and I scowled when Chubs grabbed me by the arm, and tugged me along. “Come on kid, I know it’s past your bedtime, but don’t fall asleep on me now.”

As the two of us made our way quietly to the tower with the Charmeleon close behind, the rest of the guild members headed to the other houses adjacent to the targets home. Before long, they had disappeared into the shadows, under ledges or around corners. My heart was beginning to pound as we came to stand at the front door of the Sceptile’s tower, and I knew that in a matter of seconds, it would be ablaze with my flames.
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Old 05-13-2012, 03:32 AM
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Default Re: Blowing Smoke (PG-13) Updated to Chapter Three

Blowing Smoke
Chapter Four: A Strange Reunion (Part II)

After glancing about at our surroundings, Chubs turned to face us. “Alright boys, on three I want you to light this place up good, got it?” I gave him a reserved nod, while Sin grunted excitedly. “Okay then, one… two… th-“ The Charmeleon already had his mouth open, with flame building inside it when Chubs abruptly stopped his countdown. I looked over at the Raichu, wondering what was going on when I noticed several townsfolk creeping out from the surrounding buildings, and they looked imposing.

The first one I noticed was a big, hulking Rhydon that seemed to be the closest to Chubs, who looked as if he had seen a ghost at this point. Next was a Golduck, with glowing eyes that made me shiver, as if it was exuding some kind of invisible aura. Aside from those two was the Kabutops from the prison, along with a tough looking Armaldo, and to our group’s surprise, the very Sceptile that was supposed to be our target.

The group of townspeople surrounded us, making it clear that we weren’t going to escape. The expression of worry on Chub’s face would have been amusing to me if I wasn’t so concerned about what was going to happen if we got in a fight here. “S-****, an ambush?” The Raichu mumbled under his breath while he sized up the group around us. “You self-righteous bastards might think you’ve got us pinned here, but your wrong!” Holding up a paw in the air, Chub’s snapped his fingers. “Get em’ boys!”

An eerie silence shrouded the night around us, and I could feel something was wrong. Peering about at the buildings where the other guild members had hid, I couldn’t see a single one of them emerge to aid us. It was as if they had just vanished, or more likely that they had been chased off by some of the other townsfolk that we hadn’t seen. “No one is going to help, you rotten scum.” The Rhydon’s voice boomed loudly over us, making my ears lay flat upon my head, while a sudden sense of dread filled me.

“Your kind think you can just walk into our homes, steal, kill, and do whatever you please… Well were going to show you just how wrong you are!” At that moment, three of the five townspeople leaped forward at us, initiating a simultaneous attack that at least caught myself off guard. The Armaldo dug one of it’s claws into the ground, slashing it forward, and sending a group of fairly large rocks flying towards Chubs, who nimbly dodged the attack.

Sin wasn’t so lucky, as a strong jet of water shot forth from the Golduck’s mouth, and slammed harshly into his chest, knocking him head over heels. In the blink of an eye, the Kabutops from the prison was right in front of me, his long bladed arm raised into the air. I had just enough time to react, jumping backwards to avoid what I realized would have otherwise been a decapitating blow, but not quick enough to avoid him completely. The guard’s blade managed to cut slightly into my lower neck, thankfully not deep enough to reach the vulnerable artery located there, but enough to make me cry out.

A bit of crimson seeped its way from the cut upon my neck as Chub’s, and I drew back to the Charmeleon who was struggling to raise himself from the ground, while our trio of attackers were preparing for their next moves. Switching things up, the Kabutops went first this time, setting his sights on Chubs. Raising his bloodied blade into the air once again, the guard raced towards the Raichu, leaping at him with the intention of stabbing him through the chest.

Before I even knew what had happened, the Kabutops’ blade was embedded deeply within Sin’s chest, surely piercing his heart, and possibly cutting it in half. The Charmeleon let out a scream that was loud at first, but grew weak while life quickly faded from his body. As I watched blood spill from around the Kabutops’ arm, and down Sin’s body, I realized that Chubs had grabbed his subordinate at the last moment, pulling him into position so that he would take the fatal blow for him.

Even the guard looked surprised, as his eyes went wide, making me feel that he had not intended to kill the Charmeleon, even though he was clearly out for blood when it came to me, and Chubs. In the confusion, Chubs dashed off behind the tower, surely wanting to make his way back to the forest. The Golduck was the first to spot the fleeing Raichu, and quickly made his way after him behind the Sceptile’s house.

I couldn’t worry about whether or not Chubs had escaped, because I was attacked from out of nowhere by the Armaldo, who pelted me with a flurry of sharp stones that dug into my torso. Crying in pain as I received many lacerations, I fell onto my back upon the ground, while Sin’s dead body was thrown onto the ground not far from me.

Desperately I tried to raise myself up when I felt a splitting pain in my shoulder that forced me back down. The prison guard was on top of me, his left arm had impaled my shoulder, and it felt as if it had been shattered, making me yell out loud. I lay there with the Kabutops above me, while crimson flowed slowly from the many cuts now upon my body. As the guard raised his other bladed arm into the air, I was sure this would be the end. “I knew it was a mistake to let you free Miasma, and now it’s over! You won’t take another innocent person’s life ever again!”

I closed my eyes, beginning to cry while the Kabutops reeled back before swinging his arm like a guillotine toward my neck. “Stop!!!” I cringed as I could not only hear, but feel the sharp point of the prison guard’s blade slam into the ground just inches away from my throat. I was too scared to notice who had shouted out at the last moment, and I sobbed continually from the pain that was wracking my body as someone approached.

“R-Roots, what are you talking about? This rat killed your sister, and your telling me to stop?!” As the Kabutops stammered, I forced my eyes open, looking up to see the Sceptile walking over to us. “Yes, that’s right… I don’t wish for revenge. I believe that he’s suffered enough…” Roots wore a sad expression as he looked down at me, almost as if he felt sorry for me. “I want to pardon him for his actions.”

The Sceptile’s words made the Rhydon looming in the shadows burst out. “You can’t be serious! This monster is a murderer, and a thief who has been nothing but a threat to the good people of this town, and you want to let him live?” Roots frowned, and gave the Rhydon a nasty look. “I don’t think I stuttered.” To my surprise, the Rhydon remained silent, as if intimidated. Turning back to the guard, the big lizard spoke calmly. “Now if you’d kindly get your arm out of the child’s shoulder, I’d like to take him into my home to treat his wounds.”

Hesitating at first, the Kabutops stood himself up, pulling his arm upward in a vague attempt to pull it out. The blade stuck in my shoulder for a moment, raising me into the air a bit before I finally slid free from it, falling onto the ground with a thud, and a cry. As the guard backed slowly away, Roots knelt down, and carefully took me into his arms. I was still sobbing while the merciful Sceptile began carrying me to his tower, glancing over his shoulder at Sin’s body that now lay in a pool of blood upon the ground.

“Make sure that kid gets a proper burial, will you? I’m sure it will make us all feel better…” The other townsfolk remained silent as Roots took me to his front door, opening it with one hand while he held me in his other arm. Once we had made our way inside, he closed the door behind him, and barred it shut with a solid looking piece of wood. Walking up a long spiral staircase, we arrived at a bedroom where the gentle Sceptile lay me down upon the rather generously sized bed located underneath a window that overlooked the town.

I was sure that my blood would have stained the covers the moment I was placed upon them, but Roots didn’t seem to care, apparently being more worried about me than he was his bed. “Try to stay calm while I get some things to stop the bleeding. Take deep breaths, and try to focus on something other than the pain.” I nodded weakly, cringing a bit from the awful sensation flowing through my shoulder.

It seemed like an eternity until the lizard finally returned, carrying a bottle containing some sort of purple liquid, along with quite a few long pieces of white cloth. “Alright, I’m going to need to roll you over so I can get to the exit wound on your shoulder. It might hurt a bit, but just try to bear with me.” I didn’t like the sound of having to move so much, seeing how the pain was rather intense while just laying here, but I figured it was important to stop the bleeding before things got worse.

Placing the first aid items on a nightstand next to the bed, Roots placed his arms around me, and carefully helped me roll over upon the covers. I yelped at the pain, but managed to get myself turned over with the Sceptile’s help. “I’m going to pour a potion on the wound that should help seal it up, but it won’t fix that broken shoulder… I’m sorry to say you’ll have to deal with that yourself once you leave. This might burn just a bit…” Suddenly I could feel a strong burning sensation pierce through my shoulder, making me moan until the awful feeling slowly receded.

During the minutes that followed afterward, Roots mended the other side of my shoulder, along with the rest of the cuts on my body, bandaging me up liberally with the cloth from the nightstand. Although the potion burnt for a little while, its healing effects began to make me feel calm, and the rush I had experienced from nearly losing my life quickly wore off. Now that I was all bandaged up, the Sceptile surveyed his work. “You lost quite a bit of blood, but I think you’ll recover just fine. That said, we should get you out of that bed so I can change the covers. We can’t have you sleeping in it the way it is now.”

Helping me out of bed, Roots led me to a chair at the side of the room, sitting me down in it while he went to change the bed sheets. Closing my eyes, I couldn’t understand why he was helping me, after the suffering my actions surely caused for him. I murdered his sister, and yet he stopped the guard from dealing the final blow to end my own life. Surely he should have enjoyed watching me be executed right then, and there, but instead he seemed to feel sorry for me. Once the bed had been made, Roots assisted me in getting up from the chair, and helped me slide under the covers of the bed.

As I lay my head down upon the soft pillow provided for me, I looked up at the Sceptile with half closed eyes. “Why…? Why did you stop him? Why are you helping someone like me…? After all I’ve done to you… I-I’m a horrible person…” Roots placed a finger on his lips, shushing me quietly. “You need to get some rest right now. We can talk tomorrow once you’ve gotten some sleep.”

Before I could say anything else, the lizard turned away from me, and walked over to the stairway that led to the first floor of the tower. Along the way, he blew out the lamp that had been lighting the room, leaving only the glow of the moon coming through the window above me. As Roots made his way downstairs, my weariness quickly overcame me, and before long I drifted off into a deep slumber.
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