Eh... not really.
Look, writing takes time. You can't just through together a paragraph in five minutes, you have to work for a while.
My advice is to start out writing in Microsoft Word. Plan out in your head what you want to do, characters, plot line, etc. Then write like mad until you are staring at your screen with at least 2 pages of work in 12 point font on it. You can't just write one paragraph, because nobody wants to read a one paragraph chapter. A first chapter should be detailed, because you need to describe the beginning of the journey, the physical and personal information of our characters, especially our main character who will be the center of our story. Even if the character is controlled by the reader, you should give a description of the person who the reader is controlling or otherwise we don't have much to go on. Then, edit, edit, edit. A sentence sound awkward? Change it. Spelling wrong? Fix it. Spacing missing? Add it. Finally, when you are done, post your first chapter.
Also, I've noticed that this story bears an EXTREMELY close resemblance to this one
in what plot is there. I have a feeling that when I asked for creativity, you looked at that thread and decided to copy that instead of making a unique story, editing small things to make it seem "different". Originality means writing your own stories, not plagiarizing others.
If an Interactive Adventure is what you are going for, my advice is to slow down. It's pretty hard to make a story good AND make it fit to the input of the readers. My advice is to write your own story without any input option whatsoever, take a nice hour or so writing it, and THEN post it so we can help you.
Not to be mean, but this isn't any better than the last paragraph you wrote. You simply slapped this together with minimal effort and posted it, not heeding any of the advice we gave you. You did the same thing. Try again, this time with passion. This isn't a race, and to quote a favorite American of mine, "haste makes waste".