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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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Old 01-10-2010, 10:35 PM
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Default The Pokemonitor Recordings - II

The Pokemonitor Recordings II
Chapter 2: The Contest

All right!” Mamoru cheered.

He ran straight for the Pokeball that held his first Pokemon within its circular shape, picked it up, and dusted off the smudge of dirt. Mimi was already fiddling around in her purse for a Potion, a Berry, anything to help her dear Peaches to recover from its current condition. Mamoru frowned at the sight of his frantic sister: she looked as if she was doing all she could to keep from having some sort of break-down. She had been on the brink of insanity for almost two months now. Winning those ribbons seemed to be the only thing that was keeping her from losing it.

I’m sorry, Mimi,” he muttered.

She burst into tears. There was nothing that could help Pachirisu. The little boy fidgeted with the Pokeball; he didn’t know what to do. Hugging her, apologizing to her, and even giving her a flower didn’t seem to work anymore. It was like she was broken to the point that she couldn’t be fixed. Each step he took towards his sister was filled with uncertainty, but he didn’t stop until he put his arms around his distressed sibling. He searched his brain for something to say, something that would comfort her. Nothing came. Not a single word. He couldn’t tell her it would be okay like he used to because the truth was he didn’t know. Everything seemed to be growing worse and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Frustration mingled with fear and appeared on Mamoru’s face in the form of tears. Soon, Mimi was holding her little brother in her arms as they both cried.

What’s this? Is my beautiful Mimi crying again?

Both of them looked up. The man standing before them was a lot older, probably in his mid-thirties, and built rather pudgy the surplus of which was barely harnessed by the ever-stained blue shirt that was tucked in to his jeans. His stubble was growing again, but his crooked grin only added to his “charm”. The man sported a bucket hat over his brown hair, the figure himself accessorized only with his fishing pole and a toolbox that he used to carry his bait, tackle, and lunch in.

Kazuma-san?” Mimi sniffled. “What are you doing out here?

Whenever he laughed, it shook his whole body. Mamoru used to find this funny, but things had changed since eight months ago. The man set down his box and his fishing pole against the tree.

I should be asking you two the same question. Why aren’t you home making a delicious dinner for your grandmother? I hear she really needs the nutrition.

Neither of them spoke. The man’s grin fell from his face. He wanted to tell them how awful he felt, but making them feel bad wouldn’t help at all. Mimi was such a beautiful young woman around the age of twenty-two. She had long, sienna-colored hair that flowed similar to the way water did and cascaded down her back. Her skin was smooth and fair, easily burned, but gorgeous with those thin, pale lips. The many dresses she wore only brought out her hazel eyes that changed for mysterious reasons. It was Kazuma’s secret will to see the beauty married to a man that deserved her. Though he did not know many men worthy of such a rare jewel, he did know of a young man that worked hard and was extremely fond of her. Kazuma could swear the young man was not just fond of her, but in love.

Mamoru was not far off from his sister, but it was obvious that they were not from the same father. Mamoru’s hair was a darker brown and his body wasn’t half as thin as his sister’s. In fact, he was what most people would call “stocky”: he wasn’t chubby, but he wasn’t slim, either. His eyes were a deep color of brown, much like chocolate, and often swirled with a shade similar to caramel. Contrasting his sister’s sweet, straight smile, Mamoru had a crooked grin that was caused by a mild case of overbite. He was always covered in dirt, too. The ten-year-old really did look just like him…

Our grandmother--” Mimi began, but Kazuma shook his head.

No need to explain, my sweet. Why are you--?

The question didn’t even need to be asked. The man’s brown eyes fell to the electric squirrel in her arms. It was all beat up and looked as if it just went through a rough battle. Kazuma didn’t hesitate to pull the Revive from his toolbox and feed it to the Pachirisu. He knew how much Peaches meant to Mimi.

Pachi?” it squealed weakly.

Thank you, Kazuma-san,” the young woman smiled up at their friend.

He chuckled.

Your Pachrisu is quite a Pokemon, Mimi. I’ve been watching her in the Super Contests and I’d say you have a real chance at winning the Master Rank this year.

The man bent over to pick up his toolbox, but something at the base of the tree in the bushes caught his eye. It was a strange object that he’d never seen before; the thing resembled a camera. Kazuma picked it up, groaning as he stood upright, and peered at it. “Vree vruu” it greeted.

Huh, that’s weird.

Wow, a camera!” Mamoru stepped over his sister and ran to Kazuma.

I don’t think it’s a camera, Mamoru. I’ve never seen anything like this before.

Can I have it?” he reached up for it.

Mamoru, you don’t even know what it can do,” Mimi stood up with Peaches cradled in her arms.

I can find out! I bet it’s the new toy for Pokemon Trainers like a Poketch or something!

It doesn’t look like anything a trainer would have, but…” Kazuma shrugged and placed it in the hands of the little boy. “You can have it.

Mimi shifted her gaze from the excited Mamoru to Kazuma with a concerned frown. The man grinned and slung his fishing pole over his shoulder.

Don’t worry, it’s harmless, Mimi. The boy needs a new toy now and then,” he winked.

She could only nod. He spoiled Mamoru all the time as if he was his own son and a lot of times, he gave her gifts as well. Kazuma was such a kind man; she couldn’t understand why he didn’t have a family. The man’s elbow stretched near her, bringing her from her deep thought. His crooked grin was as inviting as his offer to escort her.

Care to join me, Miss Sugita?

The young woman couldn’t help but giggle as she took his arm with her own. Kazuma loved to treat her like a lady and she thoroughly enjoyed it. In her free arm, Pachirisu remained cradled while it rested to regain strength and energy. The pair began to take the stroll to the man’s house nearby with young Mamoru following.


(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

The bag dropped to the ground with a heavy “thud” in front of the desk. Kentaro wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and lifted his gaze to Data’s huge screen. Live feed of the little boy’s face bobbing up and down as he walked took up an entire square; the rest of the computer was filling with data on the Pidgey that had stolen the device. A loud screech disturbed Kentaro’s attention. He and Satoko, who was just entering the room with her own bag, looked over to the filing cabinet that Ein was digging through. The only way he could reach it was by standing atop a pile of thick books.

Isoda, what are you looking for?” A tone of frustration resounded in Satoko’s voice. “We don’t have time to look through records.

I’m not searching for records, Miyazaki. I’m trying to find a map.

I have maps,” Kentaro blinked. “We really don’t need—

Do you have maps for the entire world, Okasa? Is every region, town, and road on those maps?

N-no, but—

You need maps! If Miyazaki is leading the expedition, you two will most certainly get lost. You need navigation and there isn’t a phone where you can reach me everywhere you go.

How important is navigation, Ein?” the scientist asked from the doorway to his tower.

It is key, Willow-sensei, because although the tracking devices will tell me where they are, it won’t tell them.

I see. Your visor is networked with Data, correct?

Yes, it is,” the prodigy shut the top drawer and started on the one below it.

If you are tracking them using Data, your visor would be able to tell them where they are, wouldn’t it?

Of course it would! This gadget can search through every piece of data that is stored within our network.

Satoko and Kentaro stared blankly at the scientist when he smiled slyly.

Then it’s settled.

What’s settled?” Ein asked absent-mindedly.

You’re going with them.

The boy didn’t pause. He nodded, muttering each letter to himself as he skipped through the files. His companions watched and waited, but it never reached him. He let out a brief “aha”, removed the entire folder, and raced to the desk. The boy was completely oblivious to everyone staring at him as he snatched the two, MP3-player-like items from the desk and handed them to Satoko and Kentaro.

These are your tracking devices. I will be able to track you through Data.

Ein,” the scientist interrupted.

Instantly, the prodigy’s attention switched to his teacher. The man smiled down at his youngest apprentice.

You’re going with them.

No reaction. A blank look crossed over the young one’s face as if to say ‘does not compute’. What was the professor talking about? “Go with them”? What did that mean? Professor Willow stepped towards the boy and kneeled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

You’re going with them to find the Pokemonitor, Ein.

Wh-what? Wait. What?

His brain flickered back on and instantly processed the meaning of the phrase “go with them”. He shook his head and backed away.

N-no, I can’t! Willow-sensei, you need me here!

I think I can manage to type on a keyboard and click a mouse,” the older man smiled.

I-I can’t! There are a lot of things to be done! I can’t possibly—

Ein, listen to me very carefully,” Professor Willow’s smile faded. “You’re going with them. You have the feedback that plays on this monitor right there in front of your very eyes which means you can track the Pokemonitor and navigate your way through the world.

The prodigy froze. He couldn’t go, he just couldn’t. Satoko nor Kentaro understood why the boy was steeling himself as if preparing for something horrible. Professor Willow stood back up with a soft expression on his face.

I’ll help you pack, Ein. Satoko, Kentaro: please check to make sure you’re both ready for this journey.

He led the youngest from the room and down the hall to the stairway that connected the second floor with the first. They did not stop until they reached Ein’s bedroom where the scientist closed the door behind the youngster.

What is it that you’re afraid of, Ein?

I’m not afraid of anything!” he defended.

You cannot live in front of that computer. You cannot live your entire life analyzing data on every Pokemon in the world.

Why not?

Neither of them backed away from that locked gaze. An uncomfortable silence fell between the two. Alas, the adult knelt before the boy again.

You are a child, Ein. A very gifted child with a mind like Data’s, but a child nonetheless. When I found you, you were capable of learning so much more and bored with the most basic things that they taught you. I have given you unlimited access to information and you have studied it, analyzed it, and memorized it. Now, I wish for you to learn something else. This is something that cannot be analyzed or studied. It isn’t in books, in a computer file, or even written on paper.

Ein could feel the tears brimming on the edges of his eyes, but he resisted them as much as he could. He was so afraid.

What is it?” he asked.

Life,” was the professor’s reply. “You cannot live if you are sitting in front of a computer analyzing data. I want you to learn what bonds are, how to battle, what it really means to be ‘accomplished’. You can only learn these things through experience.

I-I can’t go with them,” he sobbed. “I just can’t!

Yes, you can. They are your friends and that is the best way to travel. What is it that you’re so afraid of?

The world is different from a map! I don’t have to run from a swarm of Beedrill or hide from an angry Scyther! It’s too big and I don’t know anything! What if the school finds me and locks me back up? What if I get separated from Miyazaki and Okasa?

Laughter was the answer he received. It was not what the child had expected from the scientist, but the man couldn’t help himself. Ein was taken aback and far too confused to get angry.

You watch too many movies, Ein. The school won’t ‘lock you up’ because you were un-enrolled at my request and with the permission of your parents. As for getting separated,” he dug around in his pocket and removed an item, holding it out to Ein, “I believe these should solve your problem.

The child stared in awe down at the items in the professor’s hand: three, unreleased versions of the Pokegear sat perfectly color-coded within his palm. There was a green one for Ein, a blue one for Kentaro, and a pink one for Satoko. The pink one was the professor’s idea for a joke. He was always taunting Satoko because she was not girly enough. Ein removed his Pokegear from the scientist’s hand and put it around his neck.

You shouldn’t be so afraid, Ein. What you don’t know, you can learn. Your comrades, whom you should start calling by their first names, are not going to let anything happen to you. Wigglytuff will be staying with me, but I will be giving you three a choice in Pokemon. First, you must dress appropriately. That lab coat needs to go.

But--,” Ein began.

Tsk tsk,” the older man interrupted as he stood up. “I want you dressed in different clothes, packed, and ready to go in the next fifteen minutes.

Y-yes, sir.

It was with great difficulty that Professor Willow gazed upon the boy and refused to hug him the way he had Satoko. If only he really could tell them all what he felt deep inside; it might help them know that they are not alone. Yet, the man walked around the young one and left the room. Ein stared after him, admired the Pokegear around his neck, and started to remove his lab coat.
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Old 01-10-2010, 10:37 PM
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Default Re: The Pokemonitor Recordings - II

(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

Hurry, Kazuma-san! It’s trying to get away!” Mimi cried.

Yeah, I know,” the older man grunted. “I’m not as young as I used to be and this thing is powerful!

How cool,” the little boy admired the elder’s handiwork.

A final groan was exerted from Kazuma as he jerked the rod upwards to let fly the large Qwilfish from the water. With this single act, the man stumbled backwards and tipped the boat throwing Mamoru out; the Qwilfish landed in Mamoru’s place. Mimi leaned over the side to offer rescue to her little brother who started splashing around with laughter. Kazuma, on the other hand, attempted to put the Qwilfish into a Net Ball.

Mamoru, you’ll catch a cold!

Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss, Mimi! The water is just fine!

Come on, Mamoru,” Kazuma ordered politely, “she’s right.

Aww, but Kazuma-san, I’m okay! I’m not cold!

Mamoru, please,” his sister begged.

The little boy saw the look on his sister’s face and growled inwardly. He hated that pleading expression because she could get him to do anything with it. It was unfair; he never got to swim. Something always came up. Reluctantly, Mamoru swam towards the boat and reached for his sister’s hand. She tried as hard as she could to pull him back in to the boat, but in the end, Kazuma had to lift him up by the collar of his shirt and set the drenched child down. Mimi immediately wrapped a towel around her little brother while Kazuma, sweating from his labor, sat down and opened a soda pop.

The ocean outside of Olivine City was calm and peaceful this time of day. Kazuma had been waiting for this kind of warm weather all week. Each wave clumped softly against the longboat that lazily bobbed atop the surface of the blue mass. All around them, people were enjoying outside activities such as sailing, windsurfing, or regular surfing and swimming. Kazuma had chosen simply to fish. It was a very relaxing hobby that the man had centered most of his middle-aged life around. This longboat was his second home and from the way he lounged about with his soda pop, it looked it.

So, have either of you kids caught any Pokemon lately?

Oh yeah, I caught a Pidgey earlier today! That’s why Peaches was knocked out! Do you want to see it?

Sure, why not!

There was no hesitation as he reached down to his belt and removed the Pokeball to pitch it into the air. From the opened sphere poured a brilliant light that solidified itself into the flying Pokemon; it cooed softly and fluttered in midair, the ball returning to its owner.

Pidgey, come here!

The bird tilted his head to the side ignorantly. A chuckle was drawn from the man before he reached into his box and removed a worm to bribe the bird. Upon seeing the bribe, the Pidgey accepted and descended gracefully onto the side of the boat to nibble from the man’s fingers; Kazuma ran his massive hands over it to pet the Pokemon.

That’s a good catch, Mamoru. From the looks of this one, it’ll grow up to be a fine strong bird. You’ll need to work extra hard to train it, do you understand? Pokemon are not just pets, son. You have a responsibility now as a trainer.

Yeah, yeah, I know, Kazuma-san. ‘Take extra good care of it,’ ‘feed it three times a day,’ ‘don’t let it faint in battles,’ ‘heal it after every battle.’ I get it!

You think you understand what you’re in for, Mamoru, but you don’t. There are going to be times as a trainer when you’ll get so frustrated that you want to abandon every Pokemon you’ve got and walk away. You’re going to lose confidence with each loss and probably even get angry at your Pokemon because you’re not winning any matches with them. Son, you’re probably not going to win a single badge if you don’t take a little bit of time every day to train your Pokemon. I have a little advice for you, Mamoru, and I want you to memorize it with your whole heart. It’s what my father told me the day I set out to become a Pokemon trainer and I never forgot it even when I failed. ‘Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.’ I lived by those words and I can honestly tell you that I’ve come far from where I was when I was your age. I may not be perfect or rich or famous, but I learned that I could do so many things that I never would’ve known I could do if I hadn’t lost my match against David Burns in the Silver Conference twenty-two years ago.

The youngest sibling gazed up at Kazuma in silence. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that speech because it felt like a lecture. Could it have been true? Was Pokemon training really that hard? Did it truly require that much effort and responsibility? Mamoru felt discouraged from becoming a Pokemon trainer thanks to that speech and wasn’t entirely sure he had what it took to stick to it. He couldn’t even look at the Pidgey that was finishing off its snack. That was where Kazuma continued to advise the boy.

Now, I never said you would fail, son. Did you know that the gym leaders started off exactly as you are at this moment? Every trainer has. Everyone, even the best of the best, had been just as uncertain as you are now, Mamoru. Not one of them got where they are today without heart; not one. You’ve got to try, kiddo. No one ever got anywhere without trying to look past their fears and obstacles to move forward. The trick is to do it one step at a time. Your first step, even though you didn’t know it, was catching this Pidgey. Also, keep in mind that you have your sister to help you and I’ll help you, too, if you want. But right now, I need some lunch.

He didn’t wait for an answer from the boy. Instead, he just started up the engine behind him, turned the boat around, and headed for shore. Since he was terrible at making sandwiches and had two guests to feed, he figured he’d just as soon eat at the café rather than try to eat his own lunch.

(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

The three assistants found themselves staring at the outside world around them. It wasn’t what they remembered from years ago when they began working for Professor Gale Willow. Hedges and tree limbs had grown so thick around the laboratory that it was covered almost entirely from the view of the path. The vast landscape of hills and valleys stretched on towards the horizon for dozens of miles, gradually scaling upwards into mountains to the east or, to the west, transforming into a strange sight to behold compared to the endless nature: the city. Ein, Satoko, and Kentaro looked around for some sign of where to go first; each of their respective bags rested on the ground beside them. The Professor was standing in the doorway excitedly.

My, my, the world is bright today! Fortune smiles upon you, children! Now, go! Fly from your nest, explore the world, and bring my beloved invention back to me!

He really has lost it,’ Satoko muttered mentally.

Yes, Willow-sensei,” Kentaro gave his teacher an enthusiastic salute.

Ein was the only one who didn’t say a word. He was trying to hide the quivering of his body and the ill feeling he got in his stomach due to stressed out nerves. The world was far too big for a boy his age and size; he would drown in what the professor had called “life experience”. The child prodigy had this sinking feeling that he would fail this test on an incredulous scale.

Lost deep within his thoughts, he soon felt a warm hand on his shoulder. His reproaching eyes turned to gaze up at the tomboy who, with a smile, put his mind at ease.

We should get you a Pokemon first, Ein.

All three of them directed their attention to the professor who held out three Pokeballs in his hands. He grinned.

Okay! Choose!

Ein was the first to step forward. He selected the middle ball, Kentaro picked up the one on the left, and Satoko grabbed the final ball. Each of the assistants stared in curiosity at the balls before the professor, excited to see which one they had received, burst out.

Go on! Release them!

Kentaro was the first, as always, to throw the Pokeball. It released a dazzling white light that took on a strange form. Soon after this light had formed an actual gigantic shape, if one could call it a shape, the radiance faded into hues of brown and green with a hint of yellow.

Ttrroopppiiii,” the dinosaur called out loudly.

It stood a good 7' tall which was abnormal for a creature of the Tropius species. Normally, they only stood 6’ 07” and would only have been a foot or so taller than its new master. Regardless of its size, Kentaro was positively in love with it.

It’s gorgeous, Willow-sensei! I can keep it, right?

I wouldn’t give it to you if I wanted it back. Satoko? Ein? Won’t you see what you two got?

Satoko was taken aback by the abnormal size of the Tropius. She was wary of it despite the fact that it leaned its head down to Kentaro for her co-worker to pet. Her gaze traveled down to the Pokeball in her own hands.

Here goes.

An involuntary grunt was expelled from the female as she threw the Pokeball hard—too hard. The ball slammed against a tree trunk nearby and shattered into pieces. Weak surges of electricity stored up in the mechanism flowed all over the ball until it finally spit out the white light that pulled the same trick as the last one had: the light took shape, solidified, and it was given color: pink..

Snubbubull!

There was a loud shrieking noise that forced the entire party to cover their ears. Satoko ceased her god-awful screaming to point at the ugly, stubborn Pokemon before her.

You expect me to train THAT?!

The Professor finally unplugged his ears, looked between the Snubbull and Satoko, and then finally stared at his female assistant.

I thought women liked Snubbull. I’ve heard women say it’s ‘cute.’

Professor, is this your idea of a joke? How can anyone think a hideous thing like that is cute?!

Kentaro gawked at his master before adjusting his glasses.

Willow-sensei, you’ve talked to women?

Why, yes, I—“ Professor Willow paused, caught what his complaisant assistant had said, and yelled, “Of course I’ve talked to women!

Oh, really,” Satoko arrogantly placed one hand on her hip and gave the elder man a smug look, “I thought society had cast you out? It’s amazing that you would be able to return to the general population with the way you look.

The Professor knew when his students were teasing him and this was definitely teasing. He chortled at Satoko, deciding to return the comment.

You’d know all about the way the general population looks, wouldn’t you, Satoko? After all, you read those fashion magazines like a normal girl!

Are you serious, Willow-sensei?!” Kentaro gasped.

The girl’s face turned as pink as her new Pokemon in embarrassment as the two men roared in laughter. She had to redirect the conversation to spare herself any more humiliation and found herself quickly rounding on the silent child prodigy.

Ein hasn’t released his yet!

That’s right,” the professor took a few minutes to restrain himself from further giggling. That did not, however, prevent the wide grin on his face. “Go on, Ein, it’s your turn now.

Ein fiddled with the Pokeball in his hands nervously. What if the Pokemon tried to eat him? What if it hated him? He was so hesitated that he just found himself churning the ball back and forth in his hands; if it were a wet rag, it would be wrung dry by now.

Ein,” Professor Willow commanded more sternly, “release it.

Once again, the prodigy seemed reluctant to do anything except work the ball in distress. When he realized that there was no way out of it, that it was now or never, he gulped hard and pointed the button towards the ground in front of him.

G-go!

The light spewed forth onto the ground in a form slightly taller than Snubbull’s. It was a small, orange monkey that was customarily given to new trainers in the Sinnoh region.

Chiim!

A Chimchar?

Ein was highly impressed. It wasn’t big enough to eat him or pummel him to the ground, something that the child was grateful for. Both of the older students looked to their teacher in silent curiosity, but the scientist only smiled and stepped forward to Ein who still acted nervous to be around it.

It’s an easy Pokemon to train from my understanding. He has been locked up for a very long time in my personal storage box, so he has very little experience with the world. I would like for you to raise him, Ein.

For some reason, the admiring look that Ein gave the professor hit him so unexpectedly and hard that he was stunned. It was as if Ein was peering up at him the way a child would look at his father. Since Gale Willow had no children of his own, it was quite scary yet at the same time it made him lonely. The thought of having his own family had crossed his mind for the first time in ten years. For that, the man was pleased to help his frightened assistant.

Well, the three of you should be off! Ein will be using his visor’s link to Data in order to guide you all. I’m sure you’ll all figure out your duties and responsibilities on the road, so I’ll leave you to it. Take care of your Pokemon, call me every once in a while,” he cleared his throat, “you know, the usual stuff that trainers do. Go have an adventure!

Yes, Professor Willow,” the students said in unison.

Since that was his final word on the matter, the professor returned to his laboratory while the students turned to Ein to follow his instructions. With the press of a button, the visor he wore instead of glasses accessed the mainframe storage unit of the giant computer in the lab to pull up a map of their current position. His eyes scanned over the map as he muttered commands to the computer to either zoom in, scroll left, zoom out, scroll up; it took him a while to figure out the shortest route to Johto.

Okay. We head northwest to Saffron City, get on the Magnet Train, and we’ll arrive in Goldenrod City. According to Data, we should get there in four days if we don’t stop.

Hold on, Ein,” Satoko interrupted. “We have to stop and rest every once in a while. We’re not robots, you know.

I know that!

Satoko’s right,” Kentaro backed her up, “we need to eat and sleep.

I said ‘if we don’t stop’! I didn’t say we had to do it that way!

He gasped in horror as Satoko raised her fist. She always did this to him when they got into arguments or he had a dumb moment where he didn’t “use his noggin” like she always expected him to. “Thunk!” Her fist knocked him on the head. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt him, but it was her way of knocking some sense into him. It was Kentaro that usually got the full brunt of her punches.

Use your noggin, Ein,” she teased.

With that final word in, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed off. Kentaro, returning his Tropius to its Pokeball, stared after her.

Uh, Satoko, aren’t you forgetting something?

What?

The Snubbull waddled across the ground towards her and grinned happily at the female. She grimaced in disgust and searched for the Pokeball. It finally dawned on her what had happened and eyes expressed with regret peered over at the broken ball.

Shucks,” she sighed.

Ein was having his own problems with his Chimchar. He didn’t want to command it or get close to it at all. The Pokemon was content in scratching its ear with a hind leg like a dog that the little boy wasn’t too sure how to go about getting it to come along.

Chimchar, would you like to come with me?

It didn’t stop scratching or pay any attention to him. His co-workers looked on worriedly. The kid had little to no experience at all in socializing with new characters, something that Kentaro and Satoko both could relate to. Finally, the female grew tiresome of watching her younger co-worker tortured by his own timidity and gave a loud whistle to get the fire ape’s attention. Immediately, the chimpanzee snapped his concentration to the female and ran to her obediently.

Woah now, there’s no need for all that! Ein, whistle at him.

Ein forced his lips together and blew. Air was exhaled effortlessly, but the end of the current caught his lips to make a sound that barely got the Pokemon’s attention. It tilted its head in confusion for only a second before crossing over to the little boy that had first released him.

W-would you like a treat?

The boy reached into his brown slacks to remove a cracker he had been snacking on from his pocket. Chimchar blinked at the cracker blankly, shifted its gaze to Ein, and jumped up onto his shoulder.

Chiimchaar!

Oh, um, okay,” Ein mumbled anxiously.

Come on, you two. We’d better hurry before it gets lunchtime.

Kentaro waved from the middle of the hill to signal his companions closer. Ein shuffled his feet forward reluctantly followed by Satoko who had the ugly Snubbull trailing after her. The three would find the Pokemonitor and bring it back soon, hopefully.
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Old 01-10-2010, 10:38 PM
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Default Re: The Pokemonitor Recordings - II

(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

The Olivine City Café was extremely busy that afternoon. According to the newspaper and fliers posted up everywhere on the southern side of town, the restaurant was going to host a new activity: karaoke night! As an extra means of luring in customers some of the waitresses were dressed up in costumes of the café’s mascot, Azumarill, to welcome passersby and offer them a “sweet” deal.

Come on in,” shouted one of the waitresses, “we’re holding a special on our Krabby Platter!

We’re also holding Karaoke Night tonight, so be sure to join us at six o’clock,” informed the second waitress.

Kazuma, escorting his dearest Mimi, nodded politely to the girls as the pair entered the café with Mamoru skipping in behind them. His attention wasn’t on the enticing aroma of freshly cooked seafood, the gorgeous, young waitresses serving customers, or the breathtaking theme of the ocean and its Pokemon inhabitants that was exaggerating in every aspect of the seafood joint: Marill plates, Slowpoke napkin holders, plastic children cups with Totodile patterns. The entire inside had been rearranged to create a space for special events like the Karaoke Night they were implementing. Tables were now scooted towards the front, the bar itself had been remodeled back towards the wall more in order to create more room for the tables, and, although customers couldn’t see it, the kitchen had been given an entire make-over for easier access and movement for the Chef and his crew. It was a published rumor in the Olivine Gazette that the Olivine City Café had received a generous donation from an anonymous party. Many people assumed it was the Gym Leader, Jasmine, but a recent interview with the young lady denied it.

Ooh!” Mimi awed.

What’s the big deal? It’s just got more business,” Mamoru groaned while he examined the item in his hands.

The Pokemonitor had been in his pocket when he fell into the water and now it was soaking wet. He shook it, listened, inspected every inch, and finally tapped it before it finally jumped back to life searching for a Pokemon to collect data on. After thoroughly scanning the café with its camera to find nothing to report on, the antenna and legs zipped back into the sphere; the camera itself remained on, but only for observation purposes.

Huh. What a weird camera. Hey, sis, can I take a picture of you and Kazuma with this?

Mamoru, sit down so we can order something,” she ignored his question.

They were escorted to the table by an adorable waitress named Tessa. Mimi admired the girl’s light brown ringlets and her wide, inviting smile as she seated them all with an air of pleasure that scared the hell out of Mamoru. Mimi and Tessa had been good friends in daycare, but due to a serious misunderstanding of a note that accidentally reached Mimi’s “boyfriend” instead of Tessa’s, the two hadn’t spoken to each other since and that was not likely to change any time soon. Tessa also had a younger brother named Marlin who had turned out to be Mamoru’s biggest rival.

Howdy,” Tessa greeted cheerfully, “what can I get y’all to drink?

I’d like some iced tea, please,” Mimi brushed the skirt of her dress under her legs.

I want a soda pop!” Mamoru grinned.

Absolutely not,” his sister intercepted, “you’ve already had two this morning.

So?

So you know the rule: only two a day.

Uugghh, fine, I’ll get some chocolate milk,” he muttered.

Kazuma snickered at the siblings before he decided to order.

I’ll take a Sitrus Shake with a hint of Aspear, if you can, please.

Yes, sir, we can! Would ya like any appetizers?

Uhh…

I want cheese sticks!” Mamoru demanded.

Mamoru, shush!

The fisherman’s mirth shook his entire body. He knew exactly why Mimi was being so modest about their meal and waved his hand to dismiss it.

Go ahead and get ‘im some cheese sticks. It’s not going to hurt a thing.

Tessa glanced uncertainly between the three before taking Kazuma’s final word and writing it down. She smiled, handed them their menus, and hurried off to fetch their drinks and appetizer. Mimi’s look of concern towards her elder friend made him grin.

Are you sure, Kazuma-san?

I’m sure, Miss Sugita. I have plenty of money to cover whatever your little brother and yourself want to eat. I don’t do all this fishing for free, you know.

He managed to at least settle her mind a little which was expressed by the way she leaned back in her chair to relax. Mamoru had his newest gadget on the table and was trying to find a button that didn’t exist. The older sister was about to scorn her brother when Kazuma, unaware that he wasn’t showing any table manners, started up a conversation.

Are either of you going to compete in the Bug Catching Contest this year?

I am,” the little boy didn’t hesitate to answer.

No you’re not! Grandma already said that you can’t.

She said that I couldn’t before because I didn’t have a Pokemon! I’ll bet you ten dollars that she’ll let me enter it this year!

That’s just silly. You don’t have ten dollars!

I do, too! It’s in my bedroom in a sock!

His sister was caught by surprise.

Really, how did you get it?

I…uhh…

His reluctance to tell her how he got it immediately gave away his secret. This time, even Kazuma’s random conversation couldn’t stop her from scorning her little brother.

I knew you had it! You stole it from my jewelry box! I was saving that for Peaches!

He didn’t say a word, but instead started rolling his thumbs over the steel sphere on the table shamefully. She had worked hard to save up her money to buy Peaches some accessories for the Super Contests doing odd jobs for their grandmother around the house. Kazuma had heard from his godson that she would be outside mowing the yard once or twice. He remembered because the young man had said it was awkward seeing the beauty in shorts rather than a skirt and covered in dirt.

Why did you take it, Mamoru?” Her voice was more patient, yet still firm.

I wanted to start saving money for my Trainer’s License and some Pokeballs.

A sigh was heaved from the young lady as Tessa stepped back into the scene with a tray full of drinks. The waitress had caused an awkward silence among the customers and herself which made her set the cups down quicker and get out her notepad again. Tessa had learned from experience that when things like this happened, it was best to simply do her job swiftly and leave the business of customers alone.

Are y’all ready to order?

Mmhmm,” Kazuma was the first to speak up. “I would like your seafood platter, please, with everything except the Qwilfish Tail. I just caught one today and I never catch the Pokemon I eat.

I understand,” she giggled and wrote it down. “What for you, miss?

Mimi gave her little brother a side-glance before perking up and glancing over her menu.

I’ll have…the Krabby Pallet with a side of potatoes.

I want the same thing as Kazuma-san,” Mamoru piped up.

Okay. Your lunch should be ready in about thirty minutes!

Tessa gave a final glance over the order she had taken, nodded her own satisfaction, and took off gleefully. Mamoru still had yet to figure out what made all of these waitresses so happy all the time. He shuddered just in time to hear Kazuma clear his throat.

I’ll talk to your grandmother and see if I can make arrangements to take you to the Bug Contest, Mamoru. Mimi, you are more than welcome to come because I’ll also be bringing my godson, Neku. He’s volunteered to clean up at the park that weekend.

Kazuma knew all too well that Mimi being there would probably make Neku sick with happiness. Yoshinoba Neku was in fact the son of Kazuma’s deceased best friend; the man had named Kazuma the godfather at Neku’s birth, picked up and left with Neku’s mother who later divorced him, and eleven years later, Neku showed up on Kazuma’s doorstep wearing nothing but a pair of pants carrying a worn out suitcase and a letter. It had stated that his father had died of illness in a foreign country, his mother had disowned him, and that Kazuma was next in line for taking care of Neku. It hadn’t been easy raising a twelve-year-old when the fisherman had never given much thought to settling down, but his time spent with the boy formed the bond of a boy and an uncle figure. Since then, Neku had been working his butt off to get his own place, live his own life, and was slowly becoming a man.

A man who was in love with the young lady beheld as a precious gem to Kazuma: his dearest friend, Mimi. Over the years since the two met, he would often see Neku staring at her dreamily while he worked next door or did odd jobs. It seemed like everywhere Neku worked, Mimi would show up there miraculously. It was, of course, pure coincidence that she would follow her little brother into the comic shop or decide to go to the movie theatre whenever his godson was working, but Kazuma couldn’t help wonder if it was also destiny. He really didn’t believe in such things, although just because one didn’t believe it didn’t mean it was nonexistent.

Please, Mimi? I really want to catch another Pokemon!

I don’t know, Mamoru. That contest is dangerous. They have Beedrill and Pinsir in there.

Mimi, what if I was to help him train his Pidgey into a Pidgeotto? He doesn’t have to compete until next Saturday and I’m sure I can at least get his Pidgey to evolve into a Pidgeotto by then. His Pokemon can protect him while he’s in the contest.

Well…” Even a protective older sister couldn’t say “no” to the large, pleading chocolate-and-caramel eyes of her brother. “I’ll agree, but only if you promise to do the dishes tonight.

Hey, that’s not fair!

Ah, ah, ah, don’t argue! Those are the conditions. You have to do the dishes tonight and you have one week to get Pidgey trained and if it doesn’t evolve before the Bug Catching Contest next Saturday, you don’t get to compete. Deal?

Mamoru pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. He really hated doing chores.

Fine, it’s a deal.

Mimi squared her shoulders and held her head high as if she had just won an impossible battle. Kazuma chuckled and the three of them, all in agreement, waited for the arrival of their lunch.

(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

The National Park was filled with people from all over the world that next Saturday. Dozens of locals from Johto gathered on the fences to cheer on their family members, tourists had attended for the sake of curiosity, and many trainers who extended their hopes of glory entered the contest. Each contestant registered at the front gate to the National Park for the contest: thick men, tall women, boys and girls of all ages were lined up in a queue. Mamoru hurried up to the end of this line and stared ahead anxiously with his only Pokeball gripped tightly in his hands.

He had just arrived from the last training session during which his Pidgey had miraculously evolved into Pidgeotto. The boy’s brown shorts were covered in sand from all of the Sand Attacks he’d commanded Pidgey to perform; the typical boy had a few cuts covered up by band-aids on his face, arms, and legs; and the thick, dark brown patch of hair on his head was offensively disheveled. There had been no time for him to get properly ready for the contest, but his sister did manage to lick her fingers and wipe away a few smudges of dirt on him so that he didn’t look completely vulgar. The Pokemonitor sphere was safely tucked away in the pocket of his shorts; he hadn’t put the thing down since he was allowed to have it and it had come in handy for analyzing Kazuma’s Qwilfish and Seaking during the training sessions.

After fifteen minutes of scooting forward inch by inch, Mamoru arrived at the gate and smiled up at the official. The man gave the boy a quick glance-over before awkwardly returning the smile.

I’ll need your name and the Pokemon you are entering with.

Sugita, Mamoru and this is my Pidgeotto! It just evolved!

Er, congratulations,” he complimented as he wrote down the information he needed. “You are Contestant Number 19! Good luck!

Thanks!

Mamoru took off into the National Park with his Pokeball in hand. In the center of the park was the group of eighteen contestants quickly joined by Mamoru and a final contestant, a little girl who lived in Goldenrod City. At the end of the contestants’ gathering, the head judge’s voice exploded across the park through the intercom system.

Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the National Park Bug Catching Contest! We’re pleased to have you all here with us on this extraordinary Saturday and we hope you’ll all enjoy the festive atmosphere! Each of the twenty contestants you see before you have entered with a single Pokemon. They will attempt to capture one of any of the sixteen Bug-type Pokemon that we have released into the grass of the park within one hour! Our group of judges, including yours truly, will carefully consider each Pokemon that the contestant presents in order to determine the winner! What might they win, you ask? It’s simple! All contestants will receive a consolation prize: a very handy Shed Shell! Third runner up will acquire a Sitrus Berry; Second runner-up will get an Everstone; and our First-prize winner will take home a gorgeous Sun Stone!

The crowd’s volume ascended with their excitement. There was a competitive atmosphere that made the younger contestants, even Mamoru, nervous. On the other side of the fence, Kazuma escorted Mimi to a spot that was less crowded where her little brother could see them clearly. She cheered for him although the intensity of the events was starting to get to her. Her beautiful sienna-colored hair was flowing freely out from underneath a white straw hat. The matching yellow sundress with white lace attempted to mimic her hair by also allowing itself to be caught by the wind, though the dress may have become envious that it was not so free around her torso. Several women eyed Mimi in admiration of her attire, but she was far too worried about the welfare of her younger brother to notice the attention she was getting from the crowd.

Kazuma, who was standing behind the gorgeous young lady, was the one who noticed. He smiled to himself proudly that the girl who once dreamed of being just like her mother had certainly filled the woman’s shoes almost perfectly. Her father had never appreciated her the way that Kazuma had nor had the man seen the unrivaled divinity of her mother, Ami, as the fisherman had.

Kazuma?

The voice shook the gruff man from his nostalgia; it belonged to his godson who had arrived earlier for work and only noticed the two moments prior to his greeting. Kazuma was about to continue the conversation until he noticed that the boy literally gasped. His eyes were locked on a vision right behind his godfather and instantly the older figure guessed exactly what had taken his breath away: the sight of Mimi in her dress with the brilliant sun lathering her with light.

Neku,” Kazuma greeted loudly enough to get Mimi’s attention, “you’re allowed to watch?

The Neku at home was always chattering away whereas the older teenager here at the park went dead silent. He was far too timid around Mimi, something that Kazuma was about to change. Kazuma turned around halfway to smile at the now attentive Mimi.

Mimi, you remember my godson, Neku, don’t you?

She smiled at the boy, a meek gesture that made the boy’s heart skip a beat.

I think so. Did you work at the comic book store about two years ago?

I-it was ten months ago, Miss Sugita,” he stuttered.

Oh! I’m sorry. It’s been such a long time since Mamoru dragged me there that…” She trailed off, her gaze slipping away to the ground with sorrow.

That sounded about right. It had been only two months before their mother had passed away. She had gone so quickly because of that disease. Up until a few months ago, Mimi had thought that their father had left because he could not bear the loss of his wife. Unfortunately, their grandmother had told her the absolute truth. Though they had never shown it, their parents had been falling apart ever since Mamoru was conceived. It was mainly because their father had accused Ami of cheating on him. There was no proof except that Mamoru, if Mimi was completely honest with herself, really looked nothing like their father. Her hazel eyes settled upon the small figure of her apprehensive little brother on the front side of the fountain.

Neku was unsure of what to do at this point. He fidgeted with his utility belt in an uneasy manner until he came to the decision to stand at her side by the white fence and watch the contest. From his position, he could see a tear roll down her cheek.
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Old 01-10-2010, 10:39 PM
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Default Re: The Pokemonitor Recordings - II

(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

Great, we’re lost!

That’s what happens when you go by Miyazaki’s sense of navigation,” Ein grouched.

Hey, it’s not my fault! That guy in the Underground gave us lousy directions!

Snuubbuubuulll,” the short-snout fairy defended his trainer well.

I don’t need your input!” Satoko snapped.

The Snubbull pouted its ugly face and, head hung, trudged away in a very depressed fashion. Satoko glared after it for exaggerating the situation.

The three assistants had found themselves lost within Goldenrod City. It had taken them five days to reach Saffron City, one to get the money for tickets to board the Magnet Train, and they had been wandering all over Goldenrod since morning trying to find a way to Route 35.

Don’t you have any kind of map for a city on Data, Ein?” Kentaro asked.

I’ve been searching, but I’m afraid we’re out of luck. I would first need to pinpoint our exact location and since I can’t identify any of these buildings, I’m currently unable to do so.

The group heaved a heavy sigh, ignoring the Chimchar that was now chasing Snubbull in a refreshing game of tag. Suddenly, the green Pokegear around Ein’s neck rang and shook uncontrollably shouting, “Ring, ring, ring, phone call, phone call,” in a high-pitched voice. Incredulous glances were exchanged between the three of them before Ein finally answered it and put it on speakerphone.

Hello? Can you hear me, Ein?

Willow-sensei, is that you?

Of course it’s me! No one else has your numbers! Listen, there is live feed coming from the Pokemonitor. I’ve been listening to the audio on it and I’ve figured out its location. The sneaky little thing is at the National Park. If you head north and take Route 35, you should reach the National Park within the hour. Where are you now?

That’s the problem, Willow-sensei,” Ein explained. “We don’t know where we are. We’ve been trying to find a way out of Goldenrod City since this morning.

Since this morning, are you serious? Ein, what on earth has taken you three so long to get out of the city?

Well, Professor, it wouldn’t have taken so long if every person we passed didn’t stop us to love on Satoko’s Snubbull!

From the other end of the line, they could hear Professor Willow burst with laughter. Satoko didn’t find it funny in the least bit and walked off haughtily to shout at Snubbull for digging around in the trashcan.

Can you help us out, Willow-sensei?” Kentaro leaned over the Pokegear.

No problem! Give me a minute or two to trace your tracking devices.

The Professor’s voice was replaced by the click-clacking of the keyboard and the electronic sounds of Data processing information. Ein and Kentaro waited patiently while Satoko watched another strange, fat woman affectionately squeeze her Snubbull to an almost breathless state.

Here we go! Which direction are you facing?

Uhh,” Kentaro studied the sky, “south.

Okay. I’ve got it. Turn to your left, take a right onto Poppy Street, and follow that until you reach the Flower Shop. Take one more left and you should be on Main Street. Stay on it and head north to Route 35 then you should arrive at National Park.

Got it, Professor, thanks for the help!

You’re welcome. Please, just hurry!

Yes, sir,” Ein clicked off the Pokegear.

Satoko was giving her Snubbull in another disgusted leer by the time the phone call ended. The woman had left only a few seconds before and offered to take the Snubbull off the girl’s hands forever, but Satoko decided it was best to keep the wretched creature. After all, she would never hear the end of it from her co-workers or the professor if she had.

Come on, Satoko! We’re getting out of this city,” Kentaro grabbed her hand without warning and dragged her along.

Ein’s whistle signaled his fire-type chimp to him while the Snubbull darted after his trainer obediently. Together, the three of them did as their teacher had navigated.

(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)(-o-)

It had been a good forty-five minutes into the competition. Mamoru had found several bugs and currently held a Competition Ball in his hand that contained a Butterfree. His Pidgeotto was full of energy after a couple of healthy sprays from a Super Potion the trainer had used only ten minutes ago. The bird cawed from above the tall grass, its fluffly wheat-colored breast heaving with the call.

There’s another bug?

Out from the tall grass jumped a rather aggravated Venonat. It threatened him menacingly with its tiny fangs, but Mamoru showed no sign of a threat like the man that rushed out after it.

Hey! Go get yer own bug, kid!

I have my own bug,” Mamoru smarted off.

Good, ‘cause this one’s mine!

The Venonat took off into the grass once again along with the scrawny, forty-five year old bug catcher leaving the indecisive Mamoru to his thoughts. He stared at the Competition Ball insecurely. Would this Butterfree really win him the Sun Stone? His chocolate eyes swiveled over to the shorter grass where the girl his age who had entered last was battling a Butterfree with her own Pokemon. It was one that Mamoru had never seen before: a chameleon-looking creature with a red, erratic stripe across its chest. This meant that she must’ve been a tourist from a different region.

Go, Kecleon, use Swift!

Kecleeoonn,” it cried.

Several stars appeared over the Pokemon’s head and fired rapidly at the Butterfree. The two had been battling behind Mamoru for a good ten minutes before he had finally paid any attention to her. The butterfly, exhausted and aching from the battle, started to collapse to the ground, but the girl threw a Competition Ball. It wiggled several times until it ceased all movement at all, but there was no ‘ping’ to confirm the capture. For a moment, the girl started her cute victory dance because she felt it was safe to assume that the Pokemon had been caught. Unfortunately, the ball wiggled once again before finally spitting out a red light that took the shape of the Butterfree who flew off without delay.

No fair,” she pouted.

Mamoru stared at his own Butterfree and, getting an idea of how to impress the girl, walked over to her with a smile.

Would you like mine? I caught it and I’m not sure I want to keep it, so you can have it if you wan—

I don’t need your charity!

Huh?” Mamoru blinked blankly at the girl who had swatted his hand away.

I can catch Pokemon all by myself. I don’t need anyone’s help! Come on, Kecleon.

The girl stuck her nose up in the air and trotted off with her Kecleon in-toe. Mamoru stared after her flabbergasted by her accusation. He hadn’t tried to insult her, but apparently she interpreted it that way. From afar, Kazuma and Mimi frowned in bewilderment. Though they had not heard the conversation, it was pretty clear that she had been rude for no reason to the child.

I’m sorry,” the boy called out after her even though she had disappeared into the grass thicket.

Piiiiddgge,” his Pidgeotto called down to him soothingly.

Sccyytthheerrr!

Somewhere among the tall grass, a Scyther had appeared. There was no scream from the girl to indicate that she was in danger, but there was a crude yell from an older boy almost immediately after. The Scyther propelled itself out of the reach of the human only to come face-to-face with Mamoru. From the way it hovered inches above the ground, the crowd could tell that this Scyther was livid.

Mamoru,” Mimi shouted fearfully, “get away from it!

The female started trying to climb over the fence, but Kazuma gripped her arm firmly and held her in her place.

You can’t, Mimi, you’ll get hurt!

Let go! He needs me! If I don’t help him—

I’ll help him,” Neku also was about to jump the fence, but the growl of his godfather stopped him in the blink of an eye.

Don’t you do it, Neku! You’ll disqualify Mamoru. He knew what he was doing when he decided to go. Let’s show a little bit of faith in the boy. I haven’t been training him and Pidgeotto to just go out and catch a couple of Weedle, y’know.

Mimi exploded into tears at the thought of her little brother wounded. The young man removed his hand from the fence and, flustered from his godfather’s sudden idea to hand Mimi to him, wrapped his arms around her as she cried. He shushed her while swaying back and forth, his own eyes looking to the young boy that had fallen on his rump at the sight of the terrible Scyther.

Sccyyy!

You dumb bug, get back here!

The voice belonged to an elite trainer with sharp, angled features, blonde hair fashioned in a popular haircut, and tattoos covering his tan arms. Swiftly, the boy reached behind him to his belt where he kept his supply of Competition Balls and tossed one at the Scyther. The mantis-like creature knocked it right back into the boy’s face followed up by a single False Swipe attack that knocked the trainer unconscious to the ground. Mamoru whimpered which only redirected the Scyther’s heated gaze back to him.

Sccyythheerrr!

It raised a bladed arm to swipe in a diagonal cut forcing a scream of terror from the child. In the instant that it slashed at Mamoru, there was a powerful breeze that fluttered the top of the trainer’s hair before slicing the giant green bug. The bug stumbled backwards from the sudden impact and stared down at the gash that had been made on its left shoulder. The mantis lifted its head upwards to see the originating position of the attack, but something wheat-colored slammed into its face in a Quick Attack.

Piiiddggeeooottooo,” the bird cried.

The attack knocked the Scyther onto its own rump while its new opponent, Pidgeotto, returned to brooding over his petrified trainer. Upon hearing the fall of the Scyther, Mamoru peeked through his fingers that covered his eyes and saw the mantis shaking its head free from its dizziness. He removed his hands from his eyes and gazed up at his loyal Pokemon, coming to a stand nervously.

P-Pidgeotto?

Piiddgee!

His Pokemon had answered him in a way that made Mamoru feel as if it was prepared to fight such a notorious creature. Scyther was one of the most dangerous bugs among the Pokemon in the world and was reputed to be very difficult to handle. Nevertheless, a Scyther of this level would surely win him the competition.

Scyther scy!

The green figure got back on its feet. The speed in which it carried out its Fury Cutter attack was incredible; hardly anyone was able to actually see it until Pidgeotto started trying to dodge each blade that was swiped at it. One finally caught Pidgeotto and the pain stopped the bird long enough that a second, third, and fourth laceration rapidly succeeded the first. The Scyther gathered its energy to focus solely on the injured Pidgeotto whose concentration was primarily on his pain.

Pidgeotto, look out!

The trainer’s call came too late as a giant X-shaped slash swept across the flying Pokemon’s chest sending it to the ground. It was the sight of Pidgeotto’s blood that snapped Mamoru back to the real world: there was no way he could win against a Scyther, let alone catch it and train it. Gradually, his horrified gaze escalated to where the mantis stood; it was gone. The blink of an eye was too long to compare the speed of the Scyther to. There was a flash of motion somewhere to Mamoru’s right; a diversion that made the boy’s attention wander in the opposite direction that the bug actually appeared.

Sccyyttthhheerrr!

The child didn’t get a chance to fully turn around before the scythe-shaped blade from which the mantis received its name streaked an incision straight towards the boy’s neck. There was a chilling silence that befell the crowd. That moment was expected to be the end of a contestant’s life. The Slash attack never hit its target.

Pidgeotto was severely wounded by the attack on his chest once again, but his trainer’s life had been saved. The bird, heaving his breath, managed to perch himself on the ground. Slowly, with the use of the move Roost, the gashes were cauterized by an eerie, blue glow that outlined the bird. Further enraged by the foolish Pokemon’s interception, the mantis split itself into several copies. Mamoru could not bring himself to call out to his Pokemon.

Pidgeotto had endured harsh training from Kazuma and it was paying off well. The more the short-tempered bug delayed its attack, powering it up or not, the more Pidgeotto’s wounds healed. It came time for the bugs surrounding the single bird to attack with a powerful False Swipe, but the bird spread his wings and swiftly launched himself into the air with a single flap combined with a weak jump and ascended further until all of the Pokemon had collided into themselves. All except one remained and it was not about to escape.

No matter how fast a Pokemon was, the wind was still faster. Pidgeotto gathered his energy, flapped his wings hard, and began to churn the air. The attack didn’t do much at first except stir the passing breeze yet little by little, the mixed up air formed itself into a whirlwind. Pidgeotto didn’t stop there. The harsh flapping of his wings grew more intense until the whirlwind picked up the Scyther and began to hurl it around and around. Soon enough, the Gust attack had become a ride that the Scyther didn’t find amusing at all. The Gust ceased at the command of the bird, dropping the Scyther to the ground from a dangerous height.

G-go, Pidgeotto,” Mamoru whimpered again, “Quick Attack again!

Pidgeotto obliged by tucking in his wings, angling his tail feathers, and aiming his beak straight at the sprawled out mantis. Gravity aided the bird’s attack to a phenomenal speed that the bird added a corkscrew twist to. Mamoru noticed that the bird’s Quick Attack could probably injure him which motivated the boy to scurry away. In the process of climbing to his feet, the Pokemonitor dropped to the ground and slowly rolled into the thick grass. The impact between the bird’s beak and the mantis’s chest was awesome enough to expel dirt and grass from the area. Everyone, even other contestants, stared in suspense as the dust began to clear away. Mamoru, who had dropped to his knees and covered his head, sat up to try and see through the cloud of dirt.

Pidgeotto and Scyther were inching away from each other to the best of their ability. Pidgeotto was trying to use his wings to pull himself away while the Scyther was stabbing the tips of his arms to do the same. Mamoru steadily got to his feet; the roar of his audience made him jump.

He’s okay, Mimi,” Neku smiled at her. “See for yourself!

She whirled around without a second guess to see her little brother standing in the center of the National Park with dozens of people cheering him on, many taking photographs. There was a twitch of her lips that preceded her delighted smile.

He may not win the contest, but he sure will be famous for a week or two.

Kazuma grinned at his dear friend as he leaned on to the fence. Neku released his grip on the girl and stepped back in a stand-offish manner to allow her some space to rejoice in the safety of her brother. The little boy didn’t hear a thing and the crowd didn’t stop cheering until it was too late: Scyther staggered to its feet and darted forth, bringing his blade up.

Sccyyttthhheeeerrr!

Mamoru whirled around in horror and felt something run across his chest. At first, he didn’t feel anything. There was no pain. His gaze dropped to the warm liquid that was oozing on to his arm; blood seeped from his chest. There was a blood-curdling scream from Mimi, cries of horror from Kazuma and Neku, and an entire panic-stricken audience that shouted out for help.

He stared up into the face of the livid Scyther. There was something in him that couldn’t admit defeat. The child dropped to his knees, his other arm reaching to his belt for a Competition Ball. Scyther’s smug expression quickly transformed into a mingled look of fear and anger; it turned to get away, but Mamoru forced his arm to throw the ball in a last ditch effort. The sphere tapped the mantis, cracked open to release the white light, and nullified the movement of the bug. Pidgeotto cawed for its trainer, scooting itself closer to the boy, as the ball sucked the light back inside and dropped to the ground. Mamoru could hear the round object knock against the earth near him though the sight of his sister screaming over his body and the sound of her sweet voice calling him back were all beginning to fade.

No one paid attention to the ball as it wiggled and twitched. The emergency back-up was rushing in to save the boy’s life while the judges tried to calm the many on-lookers. Mimi’s screams deafened the sounds of the ball rocking back and forth.
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Old 01-10-2010, 10:42 PM
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Default Re: The Pokemonitor Recordings - II

"The Pokemonitor Recordings - II"

Target: Scyther

Level: Complex [30 - 40K]

Length: 64,020 characters (with spaces)
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Old 02-10-2010, 01:24 AM
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Default Re: The Pokemonitor Recordings - II

I'm sorry the grade is so short. D:

Plot: I enjoyed the story as a whole; your writing style made every part, whether be it a battle or a simple conversation, enjoyable to read. However, there wasn’t much that made me keep on reading to find out what happens next, and I know the reason why. This is Chapter Two of your story, so it’s not meant to stand alone; it’s meant to serve as a transition to something bigger. There’s nothing wrong with chapters that are mostly informative, but in the URPG, each chapter has to be able to meet the expectations of the Pokémon you’re going for. As great as the chapter was, I felt it needed more meat to the plot in order to capture a Scyther. This chapter mostly consisted of the three assistants getting out of the lab with their new Pokémon and Mimi, Momoru, and Kazuma hanging out and getting to know some of their background history. Although not boring to read, I was waiting for something to truly grip me and reel me in.

In the future, make sure that your chapters coincide with the Pokémon you’re capturing. Maybe you could have saved the Bug Catching Contest for a chapter that is more than just pleasant conversations and the start of a search. To do that, you could have elaborated on the assistants’ travel to Goldenrod and/or Momoru’s training. Remember, a Complex Pokémon requires a well-thought out plot, and that well-thought plot has to be somewhere in the chapter.

Also, if your story/chapter is a continuation of a previous story/chapter, please put some kind of summary of what happened before in case a new grader comes along, like me. Due to the lack of a summary, I was lost when it came to the importance of the Pokémonitor, who the assistants were, and some other things.

Something I found awkward was that you tended to insert most of a character’s history into one instance that interrupted the flow of the story, like who Neku was. Large chunks of information like that are always better to spread around the story to be gradually revealed instead of forcing it all at the reader at once.

P.S. I squealed when I read “Kazuma” and “Mamoru.” xDD

(Kazuma Kuwabara from Yu-Yu-Hakusho and Mamoru Miyano, who voices Ling Yao (points to avatar) in Full Metal Alchemist, are love. <3)

Introduction: Nice introduction, although I couldn’t visualize where they were or what had happened before the story started (aka, the battle against Peaches and Pidgey). Avoid jumping straight into the character’s thoughts when you hadn’t even explained to us what had happened or where they are. It makes the introduction confusing.

Grammar/Spelling: This was top-notch. I’m only going to point out one thing:

Quote:
“He’s okay, Mimi,” Neku smiled at her. “See for yourself!”
Okay, pay attention, here. The comma after “Mimi” is incorrect because what follows after (“Neku smiled at her.”) is not a dialogue tag: you can’t “smile” words. So the comma should be a period. If you want to put anything that isn’t “she/he said, defended, yelled, remarked, etc.” after dialogue, even if it’s right after the dialogue has been spoken, you use a period.

Length: Overachiever needs a gold sticker. :3

Description/Detail: You had great description throughout the story. A good example is the description of the restaurant and the description for Kazuma. In between these bouts of awesome-ness, you had blurbs of description I know you can elaborate on. All the Pokémon were described extremely vaguely and with words I can interpret in so many ways, such as seven-foot-tall dinosaur. Pokémon are odd creatures that vary greatly in looks, so you need to be very specific. Instead of saying “dinosaur,” elaborate with “a dinosaur whose neck stretched and bore ripe bananas,” or something along those lines. If you don’t describe the Pokémon in greater detail, you run the risk of:

1) the reader interrupting their reading to look for a picture of the Pokémon.
2) the reader imagining anything and then later being contradicted by something you wrote.

Your human characters were better described, but some, like Neku, were completely neglected. Some were probably described in Chapter One, like the assistants and the professor, but Neku had his first appearance in this chapter and was left un-described. By doing that, you are leaving the reader to completely imagine the character as however they see fit. Even minor characters need to be seen, not just read. For the characters who were described in an earlier chapter, it’s always a nice refresher to add some description about them throughout the chapter. Instead of saying “Ein,” you can say “the black-haired teen” and so on. This is also a great way to avoid repeating a character’s name over and over again.

Battle: Though I could visualize everything well, I felt that more description as to how each Pokémon executed their attacks would have been nice. For example, Pidgeotto was sliced in the chest, but I never saw when Scyther actually pulled back to strike. Even if he is moving extremely fast, he had to pull back a scythe, take aim, and then attack. Of course, too much description will ruin the effect of a rapid and tense battle, but too little description will make the battle seem like a blur of one attack after another.

During the battle, Pidgeotto took a very grave blow, but after he used Roost, he seemed perfectly fine. Since Roost only heals half of the maximum HP, it’s very likely that Pidgeotto would still be visibly weak. Keep those kind of details in mind.

Outcome: Your chapter needed more meat to its bones, but I’ll say, Scyther captured! The chapter was beautifully written, and I enjoyed reading it. :3 Enjoy your Pokémon!

- Kat
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