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  #1  
Old 12-16-2009, 01:07 PM
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Default IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

ANNOUNCEMENT:

WARNING! READ FIRST BEFORE FURTHER DISCUSSION:
This is meant to be light-hearted, similar to the beginning of the Pokemon series, and has much slapstick and child friendly humor. While some parts will be more serious than others, I want this to be fresh in your mind!



I am working on refining the story, giving it a new plot, and basically rewriting the whole thing!



As it has already been released I just need some pointers because this is my first ever fan fiction attempt!

Story: Ash, being second in the Sinnoh League, leaves his friend Dawn to head back to Kanto with his friend Brock. Upon their arrival they meet Ash's family and Oak as well as their old friend Misty. When arriving home, Oak asks them if they will come to his lab the next morning. When they are eating dinner the T.V shows a commercial that blows their mind. They then learn the commercial and the reason Oak called them are for the same reason, a new league in a new region. They meet their friend Richy but later learn that Brock won't be able to join them in their quest. Ash and Misty then separate from Ash at Cerulean City (Misty has to clear up her leaving before they can embark on their new quest). When they arrive at Ordo they find that they are standing in a brand new city. They wind up getting lost and they ask a trainer for help...

UPDATE:

The new cup o' tea, and everything is original and will be my own ideas. While I will be destroying Ash and Misty in your minds, I would at least have you wait until my writing skills get better and I go back to edit my previous editions to the story. Thanks!

Also, when I get into my comfortable stage of writing when I am done setting all the junk up and get them into Ordo will be the best part! Especially when Cameron comes. Oh no! I have leaked waaay too much! Good thing I didn't reveal the new story for the Apocalypse team!

P.S: I write this for fun, if you don't like it then get the h*ll (is that really a bad word?) out!
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Last edited by Teddiursa of the Sky; 05-18-2010 at 07:20 PM.
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  #2  
Old 12-17-2009, 01:59 AM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

I have one question:

Journey fics are hard, HARD pieces to write. They require serious dedication and constant checking to make sure that they don't follow the standard journey in such a bare-bones manner, not to mention keeping people in character. Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE you want to go through with this?

I'm serious. I didn't even have the bravery to try writing a journey story (my current, Delta Species) until I had another one under my belt simply because I knew they were tough ones and wanted to see if this whole 'finishing a fanfiction' thing was actually going to work out. Obviously, it did, but that's not the point. The point is, are you four truly prepared to write a fanfic at all? Maybe try utilizing a little creativity and come up with an original plot for a twenty-something chapter story first, or a bunch of one shots.

Also, I can't say I'm pleased with your choice of characters - I mean really, Ash and Misty again? I see nothing wrong with Harley and Solidad, or Samurai and Zoey, or Jimmy and Marina, or-
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Last edited by Giratina; 12-17-2009 at 10:31 PM.
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  #3  
Old 12-23-2009, 03:14 AM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giratina View Post
I'm serious. I didn't even have the bravery to try writing a journey story (my current, Delta Species) until I had another one under my belt
Wait, what? O_o You didn't try to write a journey story until after you already wrote one? @_@

Anyways, on topic: Typically I frown upon fics involving pre-made characters (especially ones as shallow as the anime characters), because it takes a really good author to write an established character without butchering them. And in the case of Pokemon, if you want to write a good story, you pretty much HAVE to butcher them because they're such terrible and boring characters.

If you want to write a journey fic, I'd recommend you NOT use Ash and Misty ^^;
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  #4  
Old 12-23-2009, 04:41 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

A different story, not specifically a Journey fic.

And yes, agreeing with Lus (ahaha, lame nickname yes?). If you use canon characters, you need to either A. balance them out or B. develop them properly. The second option can't be done with series regulars like Misty and Ash, but one-off characters (or even series rivals) can certainly be developed. Actually, they all can, but main characters are just harder.
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~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)
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  #5  
Old 05-18-2010, 03:21 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

I have been thinking about it forever, for your comments really way heavily, I have been thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, tossing it over, thinking and thinking... I will continue with these characters BUT! All the other characters will be new and original with the exception of Richy, but he will only be in a few sections of the story!

Even the evil team and the story are my own and original for I have written several different versions of it already...
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  #6  
Old 05-18-2010, 04:27 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

Here’s my question. Why insist on using Ash and Misty and applying them to yet another journey story that essentially behaves like all the other regions save for different city/forest/cave names, but still functions the same way Kanto/Johto/Hoenn and all those other regions? Let me guess, eight gyms, evil team that steals Pokémon and tries to abuse a legendary, random battles, game corner gambling, bicycles, professors, and so on. We have all seen it before. Unless you intend on Ordo being dramatically different and think you can bring out a whole new dynamic revelation to Ash, Misty, and Richie that will leave us wowed, you’re essentially doing what’s been done before.

The real problem is that only some of your characters will be original. Meanwhile, you’re still going with the whole evil team route, which is not original. No matter what you name them, “Team Shadow,” “Team Nightmare,” or “Team Whatever,” they’re still filling in for the same old role that Team Rocket/Aqua/Magma/Galactic have filled before. We’ve seen this already. A fan fiction is your chance to go above and beyond the confines and contexts of the anime and the games, which have been floundering with the same boring plots and situations. Are you really going above and beyond that, or is this just Stick #842,203 in the mud that couldn’t get over the norms of typical Pokémon plotlines?

Ask yourself, if you were to compare Ordo to Johto or Kanto or Hoenn, how different is it? What’s something that would make it unique and make the reader think “hey, this area is pretty new and cool” instead of “just seems like Johto again turned upside down with new names.” And since you’re bringing back Ash and Misty into this, what are your plans for them that’s going to put a whole new dynamic on their already established characters and personas? How exactly do you plan to get around what the anime has already established about them without hitting conflicting plot walls?

And one other thing:

Quote:
Originally Posted by TitaniumAnimations View Post
P.S: I write this for my own enjoyment, if you don't like it then get the h*ll (is that really a bad word?) out!
If you’re writing it for your own enjoyment, then why are you planning to post it online? You don’t post fan fictions online just to have them showered with blind praise and then shut out all the naysayers. That doesn’t get you true, quality recognition, nor does it help you improve your writing skills and highlight the areas that do need attention. Constructive criticism is there to help you improve your writing skills, not berate your work. Personally, I find it hard to get interested in your story because its reusing plot, setting, and character formulas.

Think it over some more and keep an open mind by questioning the stability, dynamism, and functionality of your setting, plot, and characters. Dare to step outside of what the games and anime do.
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  #7  
Old 05-18-2010, 04:50 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

The land is unique in the way of culture, layout, and atmosphere as all the other regions were. Kanto gave kind of a city atmosphere, Johto gave kind of a "wow look at the enviroment", Hoenn gave a wasteland like feel, and Sinnoh was an Australia like feel (don't as me why, but I have been there and know what I am talking about.


Also, bringing these two old characters back to life, though hard and narrows what I can do, I can add on to their history, future, and ultimately their end if I want too. All characters, ranging from the Team and other characters are going to be very different.

Team Rocket - Does everything to make a buck.

Team Magma - Expand Land Mass

Team Aqua - Expand Water Mass

Team Galactic - Create Cyrus' own world

Team Apocalypse - (You will see soon enough). The history, it's ties, even it's leader will be unexpected.


As for stepping out of the show, movie, and game... well, I guess I could say that, I am designing my own Pokemon, Legendary (IT WILL NOT BE A NEW POKEMON BUT IT WILL REQUIRE A STRANGE TWIST). Even see how Jesse, James, and Meowth breathe their last goodbye to the saga.

The new character (Cameron) will also be different from the other friends that Ash had on his other journeys, personality, history, style. All or at least some of it will be original.

The cities, not the land will be unique, floating in the sky, underground river, under the sea, you name it it will be there. As for the way to obtain badges... that is unique too because there will be two ways to obtain them...I am so excited about the team! I mean, it is the darkest Ash and friends will see yet!

I would like to type a whole synopsis (PM) and you could pick out the weak points and make all the changes you want, while I will read your changes, I may or may not incorporate them into the story, it is mine after all! It would be nice if they made Pokemon action figures or Lego... yes I know that sounds really weird and boyish, but I like to animate movies, rather than write a story. But, I will give it a shot!
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Old 05-18-2010, 06:02 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

Well, here’s the problem. Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and so on really only have minor differences. I can see what you’re pointing at, but in essence, so much about them is similar. However, the real issues are these:
  • Featuring Ash and Misty. They’re not your characters. Think about it, what would be so wrong with replacing the two of them with two original characters? To me, its not worth sacrificing originality and uniqueness to incorporate two characters that as Lusanka and Giratina put it, are pretty shallow.
  • Journey Fic Typical Approach. Again, it’s the whole earn eight badges and defeat an evil team setup. No matter how you present your gyms and Team Apocalypse, it is still the same tired setup we’ve all played and seen before. No matter how different you try to make them, the scenario is still the same. You’ve got to break out of that.
  • Injection of Alternatives. Okay, so you’re adding in a new legend, changing the badge acquisition process a bit, and you have different intentions for Team Apocalypse when compared to other established teams. Still, no matter how you slice it, all you’re really doing is just injecting ideas into an already established framework dictated by the games and anime. It might add in a tiny bit of flavor to the reader, but the situation is still a lot of the same and you run the risk of having the limited appeal wear off after some time.

Now this may seem like a complete hijacking of your ideas, but just keep them in mind and you’ll see where I’m going with these.
  • Drop Ash, Misty, Richie, and all those other already-established characters. Make your own instead, and give them unique personalities. Let your characters be defined by the story, not by outside influences from the anime and games.
  • Change the Mission. Have your characters set out to do something else besides collect badges and Pokémon. Maybe instead of trying to make a name for themselves, they’re:
    • Trying to cure a nationwide disease that is affecting both Pokémon and humans.
    • Uncovering and exposing a corporate scandal by finding evidence to support a conspiracy theory.
    • Escaping the police after being wrongfully associated with an underground crime syndicate they were spying on.
    • Becoming a group of freedom fighters that are trying to liberate an oppressed people from a tyrannical government dictator.
    • Working in a rescue operation to save people and Pokémon that were caught in a savage natural disaster (fire, flood, earthquake) that left the entire region in shambles and societal chaos.
    • Trying to solve a mystery behind a recent crime that involved someone close to them, or someone major in society, such as your characters knowing exclusive details behind a presidential assassination that only they know about.
    • Or any other kind of realistic or fictional plot device that hasn’t been utilized by the games or anime. Personally, I do this all the time with my role plays and fan fictions. Seriously, dare to give it a shot, you might like what comes out of it.
  • Dramatically Change the Setting. If you’re going to stick with your Ordo region, change it so its VERY different from Kanto and all those other regions. Maybe Ordo has fallen on some hard economic times, or there is a lot of destructive religious zealotry going on. Maybe Ordo has become like modern day Iraq, and a war has constricted the region into having green, yellow, and red zone combat areas. Maybe something massively catastrophic happened in Ordo only a few years ago, like a nuclear power plant meltdown, causing many areas to be off-limits… areas that your characters may have no choice but to venture off to in order to accomplish their goals. Maybe Ordo has become an environmental disaster, where overpopulation, pollution, and crime have badly affected the surrounding areas. Tie these kinds of elements into your plot devices, and you’ll end up with a MUCH better storyline that will keep people at the edge of their seats, guessing about what’s going to happen next rather than yawning as Ash and friends collect badge #1, #2, #3, #4, and so on.
  • Change Ordo’s Geographic Climate. Besides that, change the environment. Make Ordo a very tropical region, or have the entire area be almost completely covered with snow and tundra as restless blizzards, towering mountain ranges, and other icy challenges lie before your characters. Or, Ordo could be covered with tropical rainforests and have very Brazilian-like cities that may not have the same kind of law enforcement as Johto, Kanto, and so on. Getting some surprising culture shock in there would be a nice touch as well.

Don’t limit yourself, that’s all I’m saying. The less you do it and the more potentially constructive risks you take, the more people will applaud and appreciate you for it.
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  #9  
Old 05-18-2010, 06:47 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

I am not going to drop Ash and Misty for there my, lol, heroes! Jk Jk. I just enjoy their personalities and I'd rather use the real thing than make almost exact copies and have people hate me even more for it. Brock, sadly is too mellow and I also think that he is too old for the Pokemon Journeys nowadays. I decided to make trainer that accompanies them to have a comedic side when he is in public, but when something gets too serious, some kind of sixth sense kicks in and he is able to observe and notice things that nobody else does. This may sound like Ash, but whenever it comes down to Pokemon he has guts and a large mouth, buuuuut... not very intelligent (but good in hot situations).

The Region will not be a mixed or temperate climate. It will me much like Europe, rainy and very harsh winters. Even the culture will be much like Europe, with red shingle/tiled roofs, colorful bricks, and farmland that stretches for miles outside a major city. I like Europe and its culture (I live in Germany for peat sakes) and it has influenced me much.

Later in the story, you learn that the northern half of Ordo is overrun by Team Apocalypse. Also, much of the eastern half be slanted towards the ocean because of a huge earth quake and scientists are trying to figure out how to bind the two halves back together.

Also, well... I will leak even more to you tomorrow...


UPDATE 1.6: 2 more posts until introduction to Cameron! Can't wait, I get to have so much fun with him. I have a list of witty comments and I am ready to use them!
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Last edited by Teddiursa of the Sky; 05-20-2010 at 08:31 PM.
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Old 05-23-2010, 06:10 PM
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Default Re: IDEA: Pokemon Ordo Journeys

Cameron has now been introduced! Give me feedback about the goof ball. He has only been there for two posts, but prepare for some witty humor!

Also, I will announce that the story will be more engaged as school (German School) comes to a close. I will post several possible new theme songs for later chapters (VOTE FOR ONE!)

Possible themes for Chapter 2:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX54zNjcpXc ("Let's Get it Started" by: Black Eyed Peas)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abZ-RV8SwuA ("Remoladen" by: Renegade3024)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZHAb92E31E ("Kalimba" by: Mr. Scruff)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRj7KpI1yRA ("Extreme Ways" by: Moby)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGNOyrldaXA ("Da Funk Casino Inc. Remix" by: Daft Punk)

Current Theme Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Iy8H7cWNk ("Cynthia Battle Remix x2" by: Pokeremixstudio)
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Last edited by Teddiursa of the Sky; 05-23-2010 at 06:14 PM.
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