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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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Old 01-27-2007, 05:19 PM
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Default Gold, guts, and Glory

Pokemon to get: Horsea
Plot: While looking for gold in lakes, bored miners have a lot of battles. However, after suffering an embarrassing loss in a tournament between the men, Tyrel finds a pokemon.


"We ought to have a tournament." Tyrel said with a sigh, as he lay down, wiping sweat from his forehead. The hot sun burned down on him, but if he got in the water to swim, he'd stir up the pebbles and such in the water, annoying the other miners.

“Yeah.” His friend Earl agreed with a yawn. Grabbing a bottle of Aquafina, he poured the clear, cool liquid over his face, washing away the sweaty proof of his hard work. “Mmm, I think they’re organizing one now, we could join, if you want. It’s only water types, though, ‘cause Ariel’s the one organizing it and she only uses water types, ever.”

The idea of winning a tournament, even an unofficial one, excited Tyrel. Forgetting his exhaustion, he leapt up. “I’ll sign us up.” He said, going to find out where the signups were. It wasn’t hard to find, a large, rough wooden sign was painted with “Tournament Signup” in red letters.

Signing his name, and his friend’s, Tyrel thought carefully about what Pokemon he would use. Earl, he knew, would go with his Seaking and Golduck. Himself, however, he owned lots of Pokemon. Ten, to be exact, and all were water types.

Lanturn and Clamperl, he decided eventually. Clamperl was the fiercest of his Pokemon, a smart, swift fighter. And as for Lanturn, its electric half would give it an advantage.

**

The morning of the tournament, Tyrel was up and working at 6:30 AM, as usual. Though he was excited for the fight later, he had found very little gold dust, and he relied on finding gold to support himself. Fighting for money, around here, was useless. The miners were all poor- Save the few who struck it rich, but they took their gold and went home.

When the bell was rung, however, he abandoned his work, eager to watch the tournament. He could afford to observe a few battles if he worked longer hours for the next few days, and he wanted to see who would win, who he’d be facing.


“Damien and Tom, choose your Pokemon.” The announcer said. The ‘flags’ he held were simply a blue and a red shirt draped on a stick, but Tyrel was still excited for the battles, even if they didn’t have a proper arena or any equipment.

“I’ll use Kingler!” Damien announced proudly. The tall man called out his Pokemon, who posed for the crowd briefly before becoming serious.

“A Kingler?” Tom asked with a laugh. “You’re going down.”

A look of concern spread over Damien’s face, and impatiently, he said, “Call out your Pokemon already, if you even have one.”

“I have more than you’ll ever have.” Tom retorted, grabbing a Pokeball from his belt. “Go, Tentacruel!”

Faced with the huge poison Pokemon, Kingler glowered. Unfortunately, the Pokemon was unprepared. Tentacruel immediately used Acid, before even being given an order, knocking Kingler away. The crab Pokemon got up again, but before it could prepare for an attack, Tentacruel mustered a huge wave, this time at its trainer’s command, and used Hydro Pump. For the second time in under a minute, the crab went flying.

“Don’t let it get up.” Tom ordered, “Use Constrict, and poison it.”

Tentacruel reached its poisonous tentacles out to grab Kingler, who was lying on the ground, this time not getting up as quickly. However, this time, Damien was prepared. When Tentacruel lifted Kingler into the air, while poisoning it, he only sneered.

“Guillotine, now!” He ordered when Tentacruel released Kingler, ready to let it fall to the ground. The Pokemon swung itself at Tentacruel’s head, hitting it perfectly with the normally inaccurate attack. Immediately, Tentacruel dropped into the lake they had been battling in, starting to sink, and Kingler stumbled free onto the land beneath shallower water before fainting as well.

“It’s like watching Romeo and Juliet.” Earl whispered sarcastically to Tyrel, as they sat and watched from the sidelines. “Except with even more posturing and idiocy.”

He appeared to be right. Both trainers were now fighting about who’s Pokemon had fainted first. The referee interfered, telling them to choose their Pokemon, but neither wanted to call their Pokemon out first. Finally, Damien gave in, and called out Feraligator.

“Wha- when did you get that?” Tom asked accusingly, “Last week you only had a Krabby, and now it’s evolved and you have a Feraligator?”

“My brother gave it to me for my birthday.” Damien responded coldly. “Call out your Pokemon already.”

Unfortunately for Tom, Damien had called his bluff. Red-faced, Tom reached for his only other Pokemon, calling it out.

A red, flopping fish appeared beside Feraligator. Laughing, Damien recalled his Pokemon. “I think it’s obvious who’s won here.” He said, as Tom recalled his Pokemon as well, leaving the area with a flushed face as boos arose from the spectators. In the crowd, one man frowned, disappointed that Tom had given up, but he kept quiet, biding his time.

The rest of the battles had gone marginally better. Competition was, for the most part, fierce, but the fights hadn’t gotten personal. Tyrel was quite impatient by the time it was his turn, however, as he was in the second to last battle of the first round. The three battles before his hadn't been very interesting, either. A Gyarados had taken out Squirtle and Poliwhirl by itself, without its trainer even using his other pokemon, and then Ariel's Dewgong had defeated a Staryu and Omanite. The last battle before his had been between a Psyduck and a Shellder, and a Cloyster and Octillery, so the outcome had been totally predictable.

“And next, Tyrel and Jeffrey.” The announcer said, waving one of the sticks a bit too hard. The shirt fell off, and he was forced to retrieve it. “Choose your Pokemon.” He said, shifting the ‘flags’ to make sure they would stay.

“Lanturn, go!” Tyrel said with a smirk. He was sure he would win this one, easily. After all, what water type could deal with a Lanturn?

“Interesting.” Jeffrey said, rubbing his chin as though in deep thought.

‘Gotcha.’ Tyrel thought, watching Jeffrey intently. However, Jeffrey merely shrugged, and tossed a Pokeball of his own.

“I’ll use Whiscash, then.” He said nonchalantly, watching Tyrel’s expression fall.

“What the hell is that?” Tyrel muttered to himself, and fished in his pockets for his Pokedex. Thankfully, despite all the dirt and mud caked on it, it still worked. Whomever had made Pokedexes had designed them to resist weather, which he appreciated.

“Whiscash, the Whiskers Pokemon.” His Pokedex said. “Water/Ground type.”

“Oh, man oh man, am I in trouble.” Tyrel said aloud. He didn’t want to give up, however. “Quick, before he can attack, use Take Down!”

Leaping forwards, Lanturn flung herself at Whiscash. However, again, Jeffrey was more prepared than he looked. At the last possible second, he shouted, “Back up and use Ice beam!”

“That’s not going to hurt a water type much.” Tyrel noted. Perhaps he did have a chance. However, when Whiscash backed up, it went into deeper water, where Lanturn couldn’t tackle it easily. When the Pokemon adapted, leaping into the water to swim into it at a very high speed, the Icebeam blocked it. Whiscash hadn’t aimed for Lanturn, it had created a ball of ice in front of itself instead, which Lanturn had just run straight into. Dazed, the Pokemon stumbled back, losing control of the bright light on its forehead. The changing shades of this, however, seemed to make Whiscash dizzy, for, twitching, it tried to turn away from Lanturn, then dove down into the depths to avoid the light.

“Keep flashing your light!” Tyrel said, when Lanturn had recovered from the head-on collision with the ice. “It’s disorienting it, try doing that and use Confuse Ray and we have a chance!”

As Lanturn dove, however, Whiscash didn’t move. When the electric type got closer, it saw why. Whiscash had used rest, and was sleeping peacefully.

“Take down.” Tyrel ordered again, and Lanturn sped up. When she got close, however, a deafening sound hit her, and for a moment, she thought they’d run into a legendary water Pokemon and angered it. Having turned to flee, she paused when she heard a soft noise follow, before the harsh one began again. Whiscash was only snoring, she realized. Very loudly, but definitely just snoring.

“Try Double-edge.” Tyrel said, then reconsidered. “Wait, stop!” He yelled, realizing he didn’t want to take any chances of awakening Whiscash. If the Pokemon awoke, they were finished. More quietly, moving closer to the water to be sure Lanturn could hear from the depths it was in, he said, “Freeze a bubble shape around Whiscash, then push it up to the top.

The unusual tactic was easily completed, Lanturn froze the area under the Pokemon, then dug into the sand near it, gently coming up below it. Pushing it into the bubble, through the one open side, it then closed that last part, leaving Whiscash almost completely sealed in ice. It, of course, wasn’t perfect, but that was good- The little holes would allow it to breath.

Pushing it to the surface was harder. The ice was heavy, and Lanturn wasn’t huge. However, the water helped support some of the weight, and Lanturn managed to get it to the surface.

“Use Hyperbeam to fling it into the air.” Tyrel said, and backed up. “Then get underwater, quick.” He added, knowing the ice would shatter into a million sharp pieces. These might, however, weaken Whiscash when they hit, and if they didn’t, the fall would surely do something.

Diving beneath the waves as the glittering ice ball soared upwards, Lanturn dug into the soft sand. Beneath that, however, were rocks and pebbles that it couldn’t move, leaving it with nowhere to hide. Luckily, however, the ice ball broke high in the air, not closer to the water, and the pieces that rained down didn’t go deep enough to hit Lanturn. Nor did the surprised Whiscash, who was left floating belly-up in the water as he hit it.

“That wasn’t too bad.” Tyrel said, startled that he’d managed to defeat the Whiscash, after all. When his opponent called out a Magikarp, he laughed. They definitely had it in the bag now. “Why didn’t you use your Blastoise?” He asked, startled. He’d seen Jeff’s Blastoise, Baltazer, before. The Pokemon was tough, and huge.

“I want Magikarp to get some experience.” Jeff said, as though throwing a tournament so a Magikarp could fight was normal. “I’m sure we’ll be alright.” He said, and Tyrel grinned. That was a ‘nice’ way of saying ‘Worry about yourself, jerk’, and he felt it showed that Jeff was, rightfully, worried.

“Magikarp, splash.” Jeff ordered, as Lanturn, feeling curious, returned to the surface to look at her new opponent.

“Oh no, splash!” Tyrel said, mockingly. It was mean, but he couldn’t resist. Using Magikarp was such a dumb move, after all. However, a moment later, he found himself staring dumb-foundedly at an unconscious Lanturn.

“The ice shards floated.” Jeff said mildly, waving a hand at the few still visible in the water. The rest were stuck in Lanturn now, for while Magikarp was weak, it could still send up a good splash. Not enough to hurt, but enough to move the water relatively quickly, which, in turn, had flung the ice shards at Lanturn from only inches away. The Pokemon had crystal pieces stuck all over it, and was obviously in pain.

Shaken and ashamed of losing to Magikarp, Tyrel forced himself to feel for his next Pokeball, though everything seemed very hard to focus on all of a sudden. Finally finding it, he called out Clamperl, determined not to mess up this time.

“Use Clamp.” He ordered. A restrained Magikarp couldn’t play any tricks, after all.

"Where’s Magikarp?" Clamperl asked. Glancing around wildly, Tyrel realized he couldn’t see the water type in the ocean.

“Where’d it go?” He asked, suddenly nervous. This couldn’t be happening…. What if it had evolved, and was waiting underwater to destroy Clamperl entirely?

“Oh, no.” Jeffrey said, in the same calm voice as he’d used earlier, though Tyrel was too panicked to notice. “Magikarp, can you get back in the water?”

Glancing over at the spot Jeffrey was watching, Tyrel did a double take. Magikarp was floundering in the sand on the shore. How had it managed to beach itself? How had a Pokemon dumb enough to do that beaten his Lanturn?

“Clamp.” He ordered again, blushing. “Let’s finish this already!”

‘Before it gets any worse!’ he added mentally, as Clamperl sprang forwards. The Pokemon was temperamental, but thankfully, seemed to be behaving for the moment. That was good, having to forfeit again a Magikarp would be horrible. Luckily, however, when Clamperl behaved, it was an amazing battler, swift, strong, and decisive. Seeing that the Bivalve Pokemon was cooperating helped him calm down, since he was sure it could take on a Gyarados if it tried to, thus leaving it able to take Magikarp without even breaking a sweat.

Leaping from the water, Clamperl scooted towards Magikarp. It wasn’t easy to do, with a shell around the Pokemon, but it managed. When it got close, however, Jeff yelled, “Splash!”

“There’s no water.” Tyrel said, puzzled, actually looking away from the Pokemon. When he looked back, he realized what Tyrel was doing. The Magikarp’s thrashing was throwing sand at Clamperl, blinding it- And worse, getting into its shell! The Pokemon had opened wide to use Clamp on Magikarp, and hadn’t been able to snap closed fast enough. Now, the sand was all over and inside its shell, irritating it, and the Pokemon was unable to figure out which way the water was to even go wash out it.

“Now, tackle.” Jeff said, and Magikarp flopped towards Clamperl, knocking it into a mound of sand, before thrashing its way back into the water. There, it lay exhausted, but it was still moving, and thus fair game.

Clamperl, on the other hand, was half-buried in the harsh sand, covered from eyes to mouth to body, and furious. The Pokemon set up a shrill cry, and when Tyrel tried to tell it which way the water was, hoping to salvage the battle, it simply screamed louder, drowning him out. Watching sympathetically for a moment, the referee raised the flag on Jeff’s side.

Yelling to try to be heard over Clamperl’s noise, he said, “Clamperl is unable to battle. Jeff wins!”

“You did well.” Jeff said, offering his hand to shake, but Tyrel held it only briefly, before walking away sullenly. He recalled his Pokemon, and skulked off the field, feeling sorry for himself. With the roar of cheers for the next battle echoing in his ears, he set out for a deserted part of the lake, to swim. He didn’t even feel up to trying to train his Pokemon at the moment.

Last edited by FireflyK; 01-30-2007 at 12:24 AM.
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Old 01-27-2007, 09:27 PM
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Default Re: Gold, guts, and Glory

Stripping off his shirt, he slid into the cool water. Strands of seaweed slipped past him, and he could have sworn he spotted a water type darting away at one point, but he ignored that, swimming out into the open water.

Ducking his head, he dampened his hair, then pushed it out of the way behind his ears. This time, however, he went deeper when he dived, pulling a shell from the sands beneath the water before coming up, gasping and sputtering for breath.

Making a game of this, he lifted another shell. This time, however, when he went to let go of it, something hit his hand. Kicking his legs, he shot up to the surface, the shell- And Pokemon- still in hand. Too startled to even let go, he dashed for shore, shooting up onto the banks as though Suicune was after him.

Since Lanturn and Clamperl hadn’t been healed yet- something he felt bad about, but not bad enough to go back and face everyone long enough to have them healed, at least not yet- he called out Wartortle instead.

Dropping the shell cautiously, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was only a Horsea. ‘Only a Horsea?’ He said to himself silently, ‘You just lost to a Magikarp. Don’t get too cocky about Horsea.’

“Bite.” He ordered, focusing on his earlier loss more than the current battle. He was wallowing in self pity now, but still too upset to care. How had he lost to a Magikarp?

Before Wartortle’s bite could connect, Horsea spat ink at it, blinding the Pokemon. “Figures.” Tyrel snarled, recalling the Pokemon. Rather than choosing another, however, he got frustrated. Lifting the large shell Horsea had hidden under, he flung it at the water type. It hit- Horsea was slower on land than on water- and the little Pokemon tumbled backwards. Rather than feeling sorry for it, he savagely grabbed it, holding it away from him in case it decided to spray more ink, and shook it. The Pokemon tried to use water gun, but was facing away from his, leaving the attack useless.

“Stupid.” He hissed at no one in particular, dropping the Horsea to the sand again. The soft ground absorbed most of its fall, but it still squealed. Deciding to finish things properly- without needing any dirty tricks like Jeff had used- he called out his Totodile.

“Rage.” He ordered brusquely, feeling it was an oddly appropriate move. Horsea, however, didn’t want to stick around to be attacked, and it tried to escape into the water. Flinging his foot in its path, inches from hitting it, Tyrel yelled, “NOW, Totodile, before it gets away!”

Puzzled at his trainer’s behavior, Totodile decided it would be a bad idea to wait and question him. “Sorry” he said to the Horsea, then leapt forwards, slashing angrily at it. Letting himself be absorbed into his rage, he pressed the Pokemon back, advancing as it retreated to try to avoid the Rage attack, until it was far from the water. There, it finally managed to hit the Pokemon, knocking it flat.

Fumbling for a Pokeball, Tyrel realized he had none. He didn’t have the money for any. He did, however, have a rather large container that had once held two gallons of paint. “Grab it!” He yelled to Totodile, and the Pokemon obediently grabbed Horsea in its mouth like a dog would take hold of a bird. Horsea’s attempts to fight were weakened, and Totodile held tight as his trainer grabbed him, racing towards his tent.

Arriving there, he flung back the flap, scrabbling about. Various objects scattered, but at last, he found the paint container. “You can stay in here until I get the money to catch you properly.” He decided, dumping water into the cleaned, empty container, then motioning for Totodile to drop the Pokemon in. Clamping the lid on, he made a few small air holes.

“Would you like me to lend you a Pokeball?” Earl asked. Worried about Tyrel, he had gone to his tent, assuming the man would have to return eventually. Now, he didn’t give Tyrel time to argue pridefully. He shoved the Pokeball into Tyrel’s hand. “I was worried about you.” He said, knowing what question would be coming, “Don’t run off next time, we all lose occasionally, and you did a good job.”

“Whatever, mother.” Tyrel snarled back, snapping carelessly at his friend. He accepted the Pokeball, however, and tearing the lid off the paint jar, tossed it at the unfortunate Horsea. The ball began to wobble on the ground, and hoping to make sure Horsea didn’t get out, he picked it up, holding it tightly to try to stop it from reopening.

Last edited by FireflyK; 01-28-2007 at 06:46 PM.
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Old 01-30-2007, 12:01 AM
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Default Re: Gold, guts, and Glory *Done, ready to be graded*

Grammar: Same ol’, same ol’ : - /.

Pokemon = Pokémon (If you’re using Word)

Pokeball = Poké Ball (Or is it Poké ball? XD)

“Use constrict and poison it!” I think would how that one sentence would be.


Story: Pretty simple, though again you need to get more into explaining the characters. Looks, work a little bit more history into your sentences, etc. etc.

Normally what I’d do would be have something going on then the whole “let’s have a tournament!” Starting with “OMG let’s have a tournament!” is odd, different, and I dunno how I feel about it :-P.

Still, simple but good. The tournament worked for the story of the rivalry and all that jazz.

Battle: Honestly, I like this battle a lot more then the other battles in your stories, you explained it a lot better then the rest. It was much more of a ‘anime battle’ then a gameboy battle with descriptions this time, though of course it could still use work.

Have fun with it, make it cwazy! And, of course, the enemy is always stronger XD.

Descriptions: Pretty good, though I’m not going to say that you don’t need more. Try to do more descriptions of the various trainers and folks in your stories, I think that’s where you need the most descriptions and all.

Length: It works ^^.

Outcome: Horse CAPTURED


Tips for next time…

-Meh, same ol' same ol'
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"God, my brilliance is now somewhat of a burden. Get back to me."

Last edited by Dr Scott; 01-30-2007 at 12:15 AM.
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