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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 12-15-2006, 11:43 PM
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Default .Hack//A New Generation

(( This is written in the view-point of my .Hack// rp character BlackWolf. ))

Prolouge

BlackWolf? An odd and rare PC? Yeah... You could say that... CCCorp decided to set out another "The World" expansion Pack. "The World" users can now create cross-type PCs... If they meet the right requirements. It's been 44 years since the "Twilight Incident," and 40 years since Rena and Shugo carried on the Dot Hackers' legacy. BlackWolf, created just three years ago, is a Career Werewolf-Heavyblader cross. She is an extremely high level PC, and usually sticks to helping out the newbies of "The World." She completed the most recent "One Sin" event, and has been named "BlackWolf of the Azure Sky." How do I know all of this? I AM BlackWolf. Or On, the "The World" user who created the famous PC.

I was invited to the world 6 years ago by my friend, Moken. Moken's PC is a Career Werewolf-Wavemaster cross. His PC, known as Moken, is also an extremely high level. He completed the most recent "One Sin" event with me, and has been named "Moken of the Azure Sea."

When I started the world, I started off with a Heavyblader PC, named BlackHeart. Moken started with a Wavemaster PC, named Mokentel. We played with those PCs for three years, before raising enough between the two of us, to buy each of us one of the new expansion packs. We then upgraded our accounts with the expansion packs.

We eventually learned that we met the correct requirements to make any type of cross we wanted. That was when we created BlackWolf and Moken. We started from the beginning, immediately forming a party, buying Health Potions, and heading to the first field we had gone to with our old PCs.

I started this journal three years ago, when I created BlackWolf. Now that BlackWolf has wings, and has completed the most recent "One Sin" event, making her a Descendant of Fianna, I want to share my adventures with everyone who has idolized my PC. Starting from the very beginning...

End of Prolouge


(( Please tell me what you think of this. I know I didn't include descriptions of the characters' PCs, but that's because they're coming in Entry One. I hope you all like my .Hack// fan-fic, and any comments, questions, and criticism is gladly excepted! I can more than likely apply criticism and advice to my other stories... I am now working on... 6. Only two are on Pe2k, of course... Nyeheheh... ^^ ))
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  #2  
Old 12-15-2006, 11:50 PM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

I won't complain about the lack of description as this was kind of a journal entry, however this was boring regardless.

I personally don't advise for you to be working on six stories at a time if they aren't of good quality. I've seen your other work and it's obvious that you're overextending yourself. So slow down with all of the mediocre stories and take your time.

Quality>Quantity.
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Old 12-15-2006, 11:58 PM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

Actually I've got writer's block on most of 'em, so I'm really only working the two here now... Nyeh... The criticism is much appreciated, but... I thought you were supposed to have something good about the story for it be an allowed criticism post?

Edit: And I think you're also supposed to tell exactly how it is mediocre.
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Last edited by absolgirl93; 12-16-2006 at 12:01 AM.
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Old 12-16-2006, 12:01 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

In no way is anyone obligated to post mindless praise. Praise is something you earn through good writing and that takes time and effort.
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  #5  
Old 12-16-2006, 12:06 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

I don't mean mindless praise, but there's gotta be something good. From what I read in the writing a good review/criticism thread-thing, there should at least be one bit of good in your criticism... Or at least, that's how I understood it...
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Old 12-16-2006, 12:20 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

Well whoever wrote that is wrong. You can't expect everyone to like something your story. For this story in particular, there just wasn't anything interesting or worth me complementing on. Don't take it personally. One day you'll look back on your old work and be embarrassed to read it because you will have gotten so much better at writing.
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  #7  
Old 12-16-2006, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

Well I'm not perfect with my stories yet, because I haven't been writing for as long as some. I started just... 6 years ago... Most of my stories were fan-fics, but they absolutely sucked... These fan-fics surpass my old ones by far. If you'd read them, you'd see how much I've improved. Luckily I had my mom's boyfriend burn them. He lives in the country so he burns his garbage. I accidently *shifty eyes* tossed the old stories in with old sofa that was falling apart. XD
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Old 12-17-2006, 03:39 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

It was good. Leon Phelps, I know you don't exactly have to like everything that people write, but you seriously could try being nicer.
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:11 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

Just ignore it. As I stated in Doom is Upon Us, I don't write to be the best, I write to escape the real world, and maybe someday arrive at the ranks of being one of the best. I plan on getting another chapter for each book up by Thursday at the latest.
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Old 12-21-2006, 12:55 AM
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Default Re: .Hack//A New Generation

Chapter 1


Entry 1
August 10th, 2054

I've had a late start... So, unlike with my journal of BlackHeart's adventures, my first entry is going to be rather short... I still can't believe I slept through my alarm, but I suppose that's what I get for talking on the phone with Moken until 1 in the morning.

I created BlackWolf today. I have to say, she is definitely my favorite of the two PCs I've now created. Yesterday Moken and I upgraded our The World accounts using expansion packs. That night we recieved e-mails (automatic, of course!) telling us that we met all the requirements needed to create any two-type cross. I was absolutely amazed. At first I thought it was a hoax, but I could tell it wasn't. After all, nobody other than the CCCorp system can send a The World user an email from the CCCorp website, except for the CCCorp system, as well as the System Admins.

Well on to the creation of BlackWolf. I had tons of fun creating her, and she looks awesome! First I selected her two PC Types, Heavy Blader and Career Werewolf. After that I decided I would create her wolf self. The wolf avatar of BlackWolf is pure black, with elegant red markings running down her back, legs, ears, head, and jaw, as well as her tail. Her eyes are pure black, and specked with a red. After that, I created the human avatar. The eyes, ears, and tail, of course, had to stay the same.

She has pure black hair, with several red strands, giving an awesome effect. She has a scar running from the inside of her right eye, down to the edge of her left cheek. Her skin is slightly tan, but not so much that she looks like a ganguro girl... That'd be frightening... As for her clothes, she wears a black top, sort of like... BlackRose's... It's basically cloth, with metal over it. It stops below the bustline. There are a few blood red embellishments, but other than that it's plain black.

She also wears breeches. Yes, breeches. It took me a long time to find them while searching through the different styles of bottoms girl PCs can wear, but I found them at the very bottom of the list. They're black, with a blood red markings along the sides. For her shoes, she wears black military boots, which are covered in a black metal, not unlike that on her top. Two peices of red metal cross the front of the boots, and run along the bottom edge of them.

When I was finished with designing the PC, I selected what her starter sword would look like. Sure, it has the same attack power as all of the other starting heavy-blade swords, but since the most recent upgrade to The World, you can customize what they look like. I chose a pure obsidian hilt. Set into the hilt was a blood red ruby. The blade itself was tarnished silver.

Yes, looking back at today I realize that BlackWolf is a very dark looking PC, but... What did you expect from the name "BlackWolf?" This is the way I made her and this is the way she'll stay. Unless she goes through an event that changes the way she looks... But that would just be terrible... You know... After comparing screen shots of BlackHeart, my old PC, and BlackWolf... They look a lot alike...

Well, I've e-mailed Moken a screenshot of BlackWolf, telling him to meet me in the Alpha Server tomorrow. It's much to late to have to wait for him today... It's already midnight! And I think I missed dinner... Better go heat something up, or I'll not be able to sleep at all! Sometimes being sixteen is a curse...

End of Chapter One

Yes, I realize it's a fairly short chapter... But as stated at the beginning of the entry, she had a late start that morning, and was working on BlackWolf's avatar all day.
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