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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-07-2004, 02:17 AM
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Default Bagoning the Journey

Part 1;
Harison looked through the window of his bedroom in Littleroot Town. The sun was still raising. Harison looked at his alarm clock which just kicked in, telling him that it was 6:00am. It was early, but Harison was raring to begin his journey. He walked down the staircase to the family room where his mother was asleep on the couch with the remote in her hand. Harison went and picked up the bag he set up the night before. He stuck a couple pieces of bread in the toaster and sat on a chair. He opened his bag and checked that he had everything; the PokeNav his father gave him, the five Pokeballs he needed to catch Pokemon with, the PokeDex Prof. Birch gave him, and, of coarse, his starting Pokemon, an Absol. He took Absol's ball and released his white wolf-shaped Pokemon. "Absol," it said and rubbed its head against Harison's waist. Harison pat Absol on the head and waited for the toast to pop up.
After finishing his small breakfast, Harison and Absol left the house, after saying goodbye to Harison's mother, and headed down the road to Oldale Town. Harison thought of all the amazing battles he would have and all the incredible Pokemon he would capture on his journey.
Harison's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he tripped over a sleeping Pokemon. It looked like a tiny blue dinosaur. Harison took out his PokeDex to find out what it was.
"Bagon," the PokeDex said, "This Pokemon has a dream of one day soaring in the sky. In doomed efforts to fly, it hurls itself off cliffs. As a result of its dives, its head has grown tough and as hard as tempered steel."
"Having a Bagon on the team would be awesome!" Harison said, putting the PokeDex away. "Go, Absol...uh... No! Don't attack yet!"
Absol got ready for an attack, but Harison just remembered that Bagon was sleeping.
Harison bent down on his knees and examined the Bagon closely. It looked pretty damaged. Then it just hit Harison that he should take Bagon to the Pokemon Center but the closest one was in Oldale and it had to still be miles away!
Harison thought and thought of what to do and then took out a PokeBall. He threw it at Bagon but Bagon broke free.
'Gee,' Harison thought. 'It's pretty stronge for the condition it's in.'
Suddenly, a flock of wild tiny birds flew by and starting attacking Bagon. Harison quickly took out his PokeDex again.
"Taillow," the PokeDex explained. "This Pokemon courageously stands its ground against foes, however strong they may be."
Harison thought Taillow would do wonders for his team, too, but he had to save that Bagon!
"Go, Absol!" Harison cried, "Use Quick Attack on the Taillow!"
"Absol!" Absol said as it quickly ran into each of the Taillow. But the Taillow seemed very undamaged.
One of the Taillow bravely set foot in front of Absol and the rest of the Taillow. This Taillow seemed to be the leader. It counted Absol with its own Quick Attack but Absol quickly used Double Team to knock Taillow off track and then used Slash but Taillow used Wing Attack before Absol could strike.
"Absol, attack back with Bite!" Harison cried.
Absol swiftly bit Taillow on the wings, so Taillow coulded use its Wing Attack. But Taillow stood fighting and continued to attack with Peck.
Harison noticed that Absol's attacks were barely hurting the Taillow. Absol had to power itself up, somehow.
"Absol, use Swords Dance!" Harison cried.
Absol began to get stronger in attack so its attacks would do more damage and then used another Slash, this time doing more damage to Taillow. Taillow was ready to send the final blow. It flew higher into the sky and headed toward Absol with an Aerial Ace attack.
Absol was very weak and could lose. As Taillow prepared to use aother Aerial Ace, Harison thought fast.
"Absol, use Perish Song!" he cried.
Absol began to shriek fearcely cast a spell on it and Taillow. Then, Harison ordered Absol to use a Future Sight. Absol predicted that Taillow would use another Aerial Ace and that's just what it did. As Taillow flew toward Absol, it suddenly got struck by something invisible to the human eye. And then, Absol's Perish Song caused both Pokemon to faint.
With Taillow weak, Harison took out a PokeBall and threw it at Taillow. "PokeBall, go!" he cried.
The red-and-white ball hit Taillow and opened up. In a flash of red light, Taillow disappeared into the ball. The ball began to wobble... 1... 2... 3...
Is Taillow caught?
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  #2  
Old 03-11-2004, 08:48 PM
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Default Re: Bagoning the Journey

You have another stroy, and I'm not sure if this needed to be graded, but its getting graded weither it needs to or not.

BTW: Quick grade becuase I'm typing my personal narriative at the same time. x.X

Story: 5/20
Too short, simple, and jumpy.

Grammar: 10/20
Quite a few typos, and pretty poor grammar.

Detail: 8/20
I didn't see nearly enough, espically for the battle.

Reailty: 8/20
You found the Pokemon way too easially. Something like that would never (or very rarely) happen.

Battle: 9/20
Jumpy, hard to follow in parts, short, and undetailed. Meh, it was pretty poorly written.

Total: 40/100
Outcome: not captured.
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  #3  
Old 03-11-2004, 09:31 PM
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Default Re: Bagoning the Journey

Yeah, I knew I would fail it was far from my best and I wrote a diferent one (which prevailed) and I just forgot about this one. I should have just deleted it but I just learned how to delete not too long along ago (this morning...).
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