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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #466  
Old 06-20-2012, 03:37 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Within an instant, we were both firing flamethrowers directly toward the ground, a little ways from the entrance as we stood side-on. I felt my breath quickly escaping; I hadn’t taken a large enough breath before I’d started, and that was always the loser’s undoing. Determined, I continued to push out a stream of flames, feeling the control for my breathing slipping away; I felt like a deflating balloon, and soon enough, stress in my shoulder muscles became apparent. My fire was weakening, as was the houndoom’s, but it was clear who was to be the victor.

I forced it from my jaws at a steady pace until I could provide it with life no longer, every inch of me screaming for air, and as I cut it off, it felt like an eternity before I drew my next breath. My chest expanded with the welcoming of oxygen, and I could relax, focusing on giving myself air for the next few seconds. I had lost, but the satisfaction came onto the winner’s face when the loser made eye contact. I tried to resist, but as he said nothing, I rolled my eyes and averted them, seeing his smugness as he shrugged, as if he hardly cared about his win. I knew otherwise, however, and whirled around to come face to face with the gaping entrance to the tunnels again. I huffed reluctantly as I continued to regain my breath.

The impending darkness was somewhat daunting after being so used to light surrounding me, even during night hours, when the moon showed its friendly face and lit my way. This, however, was more like some kind of mouth. We would travel down the endless oesophagus and become permanently swallowed food, ripe for digestion in whatever foul liquids happened to impede our way. Anything could have been down there. Reasoning with myself, however, I concluded that the houndoom would not lead me into a death trap. He may have been a tool and an idiot, but I was fairly certain he wasn’t a murderer. Or suicidal.

“Come on,” he urged, trying to hurry me along.

I blew a puff of smoke from my nostrils, waiting another few moments before I sprouted a flame.

***

Trees leisurely sped by as hurried legs powered on. Two lone figures ran through the woods, their statures extremely different to each other as they both avoided uprooted themselves on fallen logs and roots that periodically threatened to block their ways. One, a quadruped, wad reasonably faster than the other, and a more urgent drive pushed the figure through, occasional growls and complaints spilling from the creature’s mouth. The other, quite content with running on two legs as a pair of arms flapped about in a useless accompaniment, was slower and less hurried, giving a strong sense of contrast to the duo.

As they continued on, the tiredness they had accumulated during the night they had barely slept through in an effort to reach their goal increasing, the quadruped narrowed her eyes and continued her focus. The blue fur covering her body shimmered somewhat each time the sunlight caught glimpses of her through the canopy, and highlighted the darker coloured patches patterning her back.

“And then I find out she’s staying with us? I mean, at that point, I didn’t think things could get any worse, and yet...” The pokémon trailed off, clearly conflicted about something. She eyed the ground, barely able to define the details of any leaf or stone that whizzed by, and then looked up to the quagsire beside her, stretched out and tilted like some sort of running weasel. His face held a smile without further complication, his simple eyes set on the road ahead. Not once did he show a sign of response. “Ugh...never mind,” the glaceon growled, turning her gaze back to the road.

It wasn’t long after she had caught wind of that troublesome flareon, who she had been unfortunately sent after to travel with and see safely to the mountains. She had been highly unimpressed with the fact that she had left, as confirmed by the teddiursa child, hours before the assigned time, going directly against the colony leader’s orders. In consequence, the ice type was forced to pursue her and keep a regularly speedy pace, all the while tracking her movements. She was glad she managed to follow the right trail, but what was strange about it was the second scent, which indicated another that had been with her, and likely still was. She knew the scent. She was quite confident about whose it was, yet constantly denied it, trying to pinpoint any sort of reason that houndoom would have for travelling with Dusty but unable to come up with feasible results.

It was not a minute later that an unusual sight popped into view. Distorted undergrowth and blackened trunks made up a small area that was obviously the result of a battle or some kind of disagreement. She hardly found it odd. She was well aware of how annoying that houndoom could get, and figured that if it was him, which she did not find herself doubting – especially due to the strong scent that, she found, was unmistakably his – then it was no surprise that the flareon would have launched into an assault. There had been times when the glaceon herself lost control of her temper, and in almost all situations that he had been in her presence, it was his snide remarks and overall provocative nature that had caused it.

“Figures,” she whispered to herself, hardly pausing as the tiny battlefield showed itself before she left it in her wake, and continued on, the quagsire without a single implication of stopping. “I don’t know why Habib wanted to let her join,” she growled, digging through her mind for answers.

Every time she decided to say something negative about the fire type, however, she was constantly reminded of the one thing that caused her guilt. It was true that she may have been frustrating and possibly not trustworthy, but she had initiative. The glaceon was willing to admit that much, at least, as well as the fact that she had courage. She was unsure if she would have had the gall to do what Dusty had done, especially when it came to the lone act that looped in her mind.

-- --

The flareon threw herself into me, forcing a cry of shock to ring from my throat as we soared for a moment before hitting the deck, her body falling onto mine. I had no idea what had happened until I angled my head, spotting the nearby human with a raised gun, clearly after just firing. For a second I felt a pang of panic wash through me as I visited the possibility that she had been shot.

“MOVE!” she shouted, my legs suddenly finding cause to work. I shuffled from underneath her, my mouth agape in the shock of realisation. Had she just pushed me out the way of a bullet? One that was meant for me? I wasn’t sure, but as another gunshot exploded in the air, a second bullet flew directly past one of her ears and claimed a nick.

The shock took me by surprise, holding me in place as I stared after getting to my paws, disbelieving of what had just happened. I wanted to deny that this flareon, someone who I was sure I had established a mutual dislike with, had just saved my life in possible exchange for hers. I knew she was not mortally wounded, or so my mind told me as I saw no fatal injury or extensive blood. My mind presented strong bewilderment; such an act was in need of repayment. The sheer surprise of the situation was what captured me in its astounding embrace, and as a result, I found myself staring at her, eyes perceiving her in a new light. As someone...possibly trustworthy, and perhaps even capable of earning the title, upon earning it formally, friend.

“Why are you—” she hissed, and paused to moan in discomfort, “—just standing there?!” The question was a good one, but I found myself unable to answer as she sneered and barked, “Get away!”

The severity of the situation caused me to listen to her, and without thinking, I flashed a look of all that bewilderment tangled with very subtle gratefulness, turned and ran, bounding away from what I realised could quite possibly have been the act leading to her demise.

Immediately I regretting fleeing, but it had obviously been what she had wanted, and returning would only cause problems. Instead I quickly came upon Luck, who I had definitely been surprised to see with the flareon when she made the announcement in the crate. I had been entirely oblivious to his capture until that point.

Coming into his view as he swatted a ninjask from the air, I shouted at him, gaining his attention. “It’s Dusty; she’s in trouble! Human, gun; that way,” I panted, jerking my head in the direction I had come. Very quickly he nodded, uttering thanks for my assistance, obviously intending to end the human’s pitiful life. I watched solemnly as he thudded hurriedly away, and hoped with regret for a bundle of things that the flareon would be saved. Although she had initially been an annoyance, this act alone had proven that she was of some worth.

It made me question myself, wondering if I would have done the same if I was in her situation. As painful as it was, each time the question rang throughout my mind, the answer was always no.

-- --

Azure shook her head violently as she and Splash continued, reluctant to admit that she was undoubtedly in debt. What the flareon had done for her – to give her a second chance – was something she had never been taught. Not from the moment her clan rejected her for the odd patterning of her back. They had deemed her some sort of outcast, different, even for something as meagre as different markings. Some believed it was a sign from the Underworld, the mark of something devilish and sinister. For a time, Azure had believed them.

She shook the past from her mind and blinked out any visions clouding her sight, making the decision to focus ahead. Hopefully they would come upon Dusty and her dark type companion soon, but she was willing to bet that they still had a little ways to travel.

Sighing, the glaceon and the accompanying quagsire exchanged not another word for around another hour, by which time she had come to the end of the forest and looked out upon the ranges before the mountain. She disliked the thought of crossing the expanse of multiple terrains, and turned her sights elsewhere, discovering the familiar ditch that she had encountered in the past. She wondered if the houndoom had chosen to take the underground route, and determined by the scorched ground near the entrance that he must have.

In the time that she had known he was with Dusty, she knew that he was doing so in the absence of hostility. Although she probably showed it to him, he had no such intentions, which posed the question: what exactly did he want? He knew he wasn’t welcome within the colony, and Azure in particular condemned him for her own reasons. She knew that showing unnecessary contempt in Dusty’s presence was unwise, however, and came to the conclusion that she and the houndoom would remain silent about private affairs. Hopefully he would agree to the same policy. After all, he probably lacked any desire, as did she, to expose such matters to the flareon. If he wanted to remain friends with Dusty – if they were even that – then he wished to save both himself and the ice type a large portion of strife, he would keep his smart trap sealed. If he would, she would.

Casting the thought momentarily aside, the glaceon slid down the rim of the crumbly wall before pushing off and landing gracefully onto the packed soil. She turned to see the quagsire lie on his side and stretch his arms up before he began rolling down the wall.

Azure scoffed, averting her eyes with embarrassment and hoped that nobody had seen. She cleared her throat and looked back to him as he stood upright once more, a look of placidity gracing his oblivious face. She felt like face-pawing as she heaved a gruff sigh and stalked toward the entrance to the cave, unsure how she would have any hope of seeing in the wretched darkness.

Thinking quietly, she snatched a long branch suitable to be carried in her maw, making sure to angle it to fit as she and her temporary companion slipped inside, hoping soon enough to meet with the two fire types.

***

We had been padding for a short time in silence, my mouth providing the flame and therefore disabling speech, when the houndoom spoke. “Dusty...” It got my attention, but I didn’t turn in case I disturbed the fire. “Who were you fighting back there?”

He presumably saw the frown upon my face as I recoiled a little, unsure what he meant. ‘What kind of a question is that?’

“Back there, when you attacked me.” At this I was not any less confused. He could tell what kind of question I itched to ask and its enhancing tone, and decided to clarify. “You were firing attacks at me, yes, but...you weren’t fighting me. Your mind was elsewhere.”

I blinked, wishing to swallow, but unsure if it would put out the fire or not. ‘Who is he to assume that? He can’t just decide what I’m thinking and what I’m not. He can’t know anything for sure.’

For a moment I wondered why the fire was not yet out; the tiny flame I had spurted wavered weakly in the darkness, as it took constant breath to keep it going, and I quickly reminded myself that it was lucky I could breathe in while, instead of breathing out, simply pushing my cheeks to empty the air already filling my mouth. It lased but a moment, and required concentration, but I was able to maintain an appropriate and much-needed cycle. I wasn’t sure how it would go without this knowledge; perhaps the uselessness of it all would require me to extinguish the flame for a temporary time, and the thought seemed tedious—lighting and then relighting flames was annoying, especially ones that feed only off the heat one provides and the air one pumps into it. It took more effort than one would think. But that was the element of fire in a nutshell. Unpredictable.

He tilted his head, his mouth open as if to say something, his eyes in place and scanning the ground as we walked. “I wonder...who it was that you were fighting. If not me, then someone else that annoys you,” he guessed, and I wanted to cease the fire to tell him that he was pretty much the only one that ground my nerves. Sure, Tarla and Azure, as well as Cupborn, were all variations of irritating, but in their case it was somewhat minor and part of who they were. This pokémon annoyed others on purpose.

‘Who cares who I was “fighting” anyway? I don’t get why this is something he needs to get his precious little tail in a knot over.’ The frown on my face remained as I realised that I didn’t have a way to tell him any of this accurately.

“Maybe it was someone who you’re mad at,” he mused, bringing up his head to walk more casually as he moulded his face into expressions I wasn’t even sure that houndoom could make. “Someone that wronged you horribly.”

I suddenly realised something. He was intentionally saying all this with a mock-curious voice, indicating that he had figured it out a considerable time ago, but didn’t bother to let me know. Instead he played mind games and spoke with a tone making me wonder about his conclusion to the situation. ‘There is NO DOUBT he is the most annoying pokémon ever to enter my life.’

“Someone...that graced the days of your childhood but now haunts the nights in your sleep?”

The words caught me off guard, and I felt a horrible pain in my stomach, as if a beedrill had just shoved a jagged forearm into my gut and twisted. ‘He...he means...’

“Someone you thought you trusted, but doesn’t even reach the title of friend anymore.” His face grew somewhat solemn, still holding that element of playfulness I wasn’t sure was necessary at that moment.

‘Why...do I have to be reminded of this?’ my mind questioned, and my expression hardened, as if a permanent engraving of sadness would forever be carved onto my face. I found it hard to shake the feeling, my expression constantly returning to what it had been not a second before.

“Someone who you thought you were over.”

I suffered a metaphorical blow to the chest and felt my head lower as a reflex, my eyes scraping the soil that approached underneath. “Stop it,” I commanded, more weakness to my voice that strength. Immediately the surrounding area lost its glow, and we were absorbed by the darkness.

Neither of us moved as I remained still, my shoulders up by the sides of my head, my mane failing to provide its usual comfort; I recognised it as prickly and intrusive. My tail only felt wrong, the weight not nearly enough as it pathetically sagged from my rear end. We both stayed in silence as the thoughts hung heavily in the air, invading my mind and probably resting harmlessly on his.

“Don’t...not again.” I kept my gaze fixed on the ground, regardless of whether or not I could actually see anything. “Do you know...how hard I have tried...to forget that? How much I have denied its actuality—how I have been forced to pretend like she never did exist?” I waited a number of seconds, the answer not reaching my ears. I doubted that he was even thinking about it. “But you know what? ...It doesn’t work. There’s nothing to suggest that she never was; I have no proof in my mind that she never entered my life. Every day I live with these memories...” I fought to keep myself calm, but the rising emotion was making it increasingly difficult. “You wouldn’t understand. Nobody could understand unless they’d been through the same thing. Yes, I can remember those good times...and yes, I wish with my entire being that she was once again beside me, helping me through things as I helped her.” I breathed out in a despondent chuckle, shaking my head with a slowness that surely branded my position as a hopeless one. I didn’t care that he couldn’t see; he could probably hear it in my voice.

“Betrayal is rough,” he began, and I was momentarily surprised by his evident showing of sincerity. “Trust me; I know.” I was aware he was about to follow with ‘but.’ “But you’re taking this really badly.”

“I don’t need a lecture from you,” I snarled, hearing the disdain in my voice swell.

“No, Dusty. Listen to me.” Again with my name. “Look...you can see how this is affecting you.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is...I think you need to find a way to deal with this. You’re clearly not coping.” I could hear him shuffle closer, and I fought the feeling of dejectedness; I had to be strong. I had to replace it with anger. Even in knowing so, it faltered as I once again realised that anger was an inefficient protection mechanism against sorrow. They complimented each other. One led to the other, and it worked the other way around just as easily.

“I’m warning you,” I growled, biting down on the inside of my cheek as I recognised the lingering frailty. ‘No.’

“The way you attacked me back there was a prime example. You couldn’t physically reach the problem, so you went for the nearest thing that you could sink your teeth into. You exploded with anger at one mention of this pokémon’s name. You’re unstable.”

“I KNOW!” I boomed, and immediately silenced myself, despite my wishes to continue. I closed off my connection with sight as I sealed my eyes.

He took another step. “Then why don’t you address it?”

“I don’t know HOW,” I explained with an increasing hint of desperation to my shuddering voice.

“Why don’t you just...get over it?”

My eyes snapped open.


Continued in the next post...
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 06-24-2012 at 01:40 AM.
  #467  
Old 06-20-2012, 03:41 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

In a roar of flames, I shot forward, halting when my face came within an inch of his. My burning hate for him suddenly welled, and I felt myself wishing many awful things upon his pitiful existence. My heart rate increased, my breathing jagged, and I bit down with such pressure that I thought my teeth might split. The rise of exaggerated ire was like a rotating fireball in my chest, spreading through my body and fuelling every action that followed. “Don’t you DARE use that on me!” I thundered, his face lighting up with orange illumination every second or so words, searing flames bouncing around in my mouth and singeing the air in front of my teeth, only to dissipate and be replaced shortly after. It danced in horizontal streaks as my head moved in a fashion to invite such behaviour. “You do NOT have the right to tell me what to do with my emotions!”

Using every inch of my strength, I resisted erupting with fire and lunging at him with bared sharp teeth. I felt my legs quaking with the desire to stretch out and quench their extreme desire for blood, for his punishment. Breath entered my nose and exited again with uncategorised fragmentation while my ears pricked their air with their elongated stiffness. My head, swimming with mad sorrow and lividity, pounded with this need and with that, mostly the desire to direct my heated hate to unleash it and thereby be done with the problem.

I blocked out all reason as I focused solely on what I wanted at that moment: some kind of rightful justice for his careless words, and with great shame, I felt myself wanting unwarranted closure. I wanted to avoid all this conflict, even if my rage spoke out contradictorily, and with a random spark of something I couldn’t identify, I thought closure would give me peace. If he could somehow, in some way, provide me with it, then I would have been grateful. Reluctantly so, but grateful nonetheless. The thought angered me; I didn’t want to condone his reckless behaviour. He had no right to say those things. He needed to be taught a lesson.

“Did you ever consider,” I spat, scorn soaking my words as I forgot the momentary gap in my anger, “how much she meant to me? Do you not realise that she was my best friend for years?” The raging tornado inside me twisted and clambered its way to the fore of my thoughts. “How can you not see why this is affecting me? Are you that blind?” My head began to tilt, my anger twitching my nose. “Do you not know what that’s like?!” The flames still seeped between my teeth, light flickering between us as my gaze jumped between his two eyes. “Or are you that insolent, that shameless that you have none to lose?”

I obviously struck a nerve when, as the fire tested the air before my mouth, I notice his face change in the disappearing dim light. He didn’t look enormously offended or affected, but the result was good enough, and from there I planned to work; planned to dig up his core and lacerate anything that gave him internal comfort.

Interrupting our ‘discussion’ was a set of pawsteps in the distance. With no more than another few seconds to determine, it became clear that they were closing in on us. It was difficult to estimate any sort of detail, but I knew that it couldn’t have been a heavy foe, one who would have broken the earth in its effort to chase its prey.

The fuming odium still burning brightly in my chest, I faced the direction they would be coming from—where we had come. The houndoom did the same, and I watched as I could hear them near. Deciding fast and in the midst of my anger, I charged up a flamethrower, eyes clouded with anger. These cave dwellers wanted to interrupt somebody’s conversation? They could interrupt someone else’s. It frustrated me to no end that such a situation was suspended for interruption.

Constricting my stomach muscles and exhaling with more effort than a normal breath would take, I fired a powerful stream of flames, ones that whipped about and illuminated the path to both sides, as well as partway into the path cutting across; we had just come from the right of the intersection, left when we were travelling the path and turned onto the one we resided on now. The fire hammered the ground, flames gushing in multiple directions as the fire seemed to separate where it met with the earth to snake its way to another victim.

I had no idea what the houndoom thought, but for some nonsensical reason he probably disapproved. Frustration riding my tone, I waited, listening for any sort of change in pace of the pursuers. However, I soon came to realise that listening while expelling a long line of flames was not exactly efficient or really that possible, so I cut it off, only realising as I did so that I was fairly out of breath. I panted; it had been a reasonable effort.

The pawsteps had not subsided, but they certainly sounded more controlled. To my annoyance they kept coming, and I shot a glare to the houndoom, who clearly couldn’t see me with the absence of fire, our eyes not accustomed to the dark. “Can’t you use your brain and give us some light?”

It went unsaid that I had exerted enough energy, both in previously lighting our path and now because of the defence I was clearly willing to uphold, as opposed to his...nothing. He hesitated, but probably realised I was right and spurted a flame from his lips, keeping it at the end of his muzzle. In response, I prepared myself, only a few metres from him and more from the tunnel we had been in and come from, and kept my head low.

There were familiar shouts which suddenly reached my ears, my legs losing their formation. It took me a moment to realise what was happening and who it was when they burst into the tunnel, catching me off guard in my moment of contemplation. “...Azure,” I commented to myself with a perplexed frown, my anger beginning to somehow quell. A quagsire appeared behind her, the last few steps of his ridiculous two-limbed run displayed as he stopped beside her. I finally registered, remembering Habib’s word about the other pokémon that were supposed to be accompanying me.

She said nothing as her eyes settled on me before quickly switching to the houndoom. I knew she would want to know who on earth he was, but I really had no desire to explain. If he wanted to her to know, he could tell her himself.

Without warning, the flame died out. Nothing lit the tunnel as the houndoom failed to relight his fire, and with a constant rumble, I began listening. Something told me that he was not keen on meeting with others. The noise of tiny shuffling met my ears from my right, and instantly I pounced, crashing into something larger than me and skidding across the rocky earth. Quickly I allowed flames to circle in my mouth, as if I was about to spit a fireball onto his face, and watched as he cowered beneath my dominance. He sighed as Azure commanded Splash to situate himself beside me, probably in an effort to warn the fire and a dark type with a pokémon who had two elements he was weak to at his disposal.

“Alright, alright,” he sighed, and I watched him make an odd face of discomfort but acknowledgement for his imprisonment.

Slowly I climbed off him, allowing him to get to his feet. I kept the rotating fireball in my jaws, mostly for light, and waited for judgement. When none came, and the dual type merely locked eyes with the glaceon, who tossed the short branch she had been carrying onto the ground. Without another moment of hesitation, I spat my fire at the stick and watched as it lit up. Azure instructed the quagsire to hold it, as his paws were most suited for carrying such things.

“What the hell are you doing?” I needed not remind him that he had made a break for it in the direction both we and the newly arrived had come. “Retreating? You still have to guide me.” I lit a flame between sentences to ensure he knew I was serious. Something told me he didn’t plan on escaping while the quagsire stood in front of him. “You run at the sight of a glaceon?” I questioned incredulously with an appropriate hint of mockery. It was quite amusing that he found a pokémon of a type he was strong against to be frightening. It certainly didn’t appear as if he began to flee because of the quagsire.

He exhaled again, clearly unhappy to have been caught. “Alright, Azure,” he began, and I recoiled in surprise, blinking repeatedly as I flicked between the two.

‘They know each other?’

The glaceon remained silent, and I turned to her, momentarily forgetting the collar I needed to keep clamped around the houndoom’s neck. “What’re you doing?” He spoke quite casually, agitated and partially suspicious.

“I was instructed to accompany Dusty,” she answered, her voice steady and her stature trying to come across as authoritative. I had a feeling she was only attempting to keep her cool, but at the same time wasn’t going to lose it with ease. I could tell she wanted to question him on his motives, but something held her back. He seemed to have some sort of invisible control over her.

“Habib’s lapdog, I see.” He narrowed his eyes, giving her a greasy sneer. “From one to another, hey? And yet you still can’t remain loyal—”

“Shut up, Zaion,” she snapped, and I was caught by so many surprises that I wasn’t sure which was the most confusing. My head and his rotated simultaneously, our eyes exchanging an unspoken gain of knowledge. This was the first I had heard of his name, and somehow it felt weird. It was then that I noticed confusion had taken the place of my anger. Not entirely, but a decent amount.

“Will someone tell me what’s going on?”

Silence filled the cave as the ice type glanced away, a frown pasted upon her face. Surely she could have scented him on her way to us, so if she hadn’t wanted to encounter him, why had she come? Perhaps...Zaion...was wrong, and her loyalties lay with just one leader. His statement had confused me; what on earth had he meant? ‘Loyalties? Is it that Azure belongs to anther colony and hasn’t told Habib? If so, that wouldn’t be hard to correct, and I doubt Habib would even be against the idea.’ I considered the possibility that this houndoom’s definition of loyalty was something as simple as that, whether the one she was meant to remain loyal to minded or not.

Nobody wished to enlighten me as Azure trudged scornfully past, Zaion watching her as she went. I too followed her, but returned to the fire and dark type to shake my head in question. He barely responded as he got to his paws and stood, signalling with a flick of his head for us to continue. The quagsire sat complacently, a smile plastered upon his face as he held the torch tipped with fire.

“Um...what do I do with him?” I asked, mainly directing it at the glaceon.

“Splash, come,” she commanded dully, not making an effort to turn her head as she spoke. She continued on, head low and tail drooping. The water and ground type happily waddled in her wake, surpassing every one of us in height. The thought of having a large pokémon like him, probably ruthless when instructed and of two types that I, like the houndoom, was weak to. I made a mental note to stay on his good side.

Tossing my head questioningly at Idiot...or Zaion...I shook my head lightly, still confused and asking silently for answers. He merely exhaled and padded past me without any degree of hastiness, and I was left to stand in place, wondering how this had managed to turn into such a strange situation. I hardly knew what to think.

Scowling, I turned away, following the others further into the cave and hopefully in the right direction.


Aaaaaaaand that's the end of that chapter! :D Hope you liked.

~GS.
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 06-20-2012 at 03:44 PM.
  #468  
Old 06-20-2012, 10:20 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

This is a reminder to myself.

Read Chapters 23, 24, and 25 XD It was inactive for a while, and once it picked back up I completely forgot |D
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  #469  
Old 06-21-2012, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
This is a reminder to myself.

Read Chapters 23, 24, and 25 XD It was inactive for a while, and once it picked back up I completely forgot |D
Lawl. Yep, it was inactive for a good few months. Well a bad few months. Well not really. But I would have liked to pick up on that. But yeah! |D I managed to write these three in an expanse of something like a month...maybe a little over...so that's REALLY good progress. xD Since I normally can't write that much. But I can now, so that's great for me, and great for my readers!

~GS.
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  #470  
Old 06-21-2012, 05:54 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


Really? O: That's really awesome! I'm glad you think so! And wow, nice! XD It's amazing when my stories can inspire people. c: Make sure you tell me if you post it here, because I would love to read it. ^^

I'm glad you're wondering about that! And yes, he is in the picture! O: *dramatic music!* So is the unown. Yeah... I think that might be a while, but he definitely plays an important part. xD

Thank you so much. ;w; I'm so glad you think so! It's thrilling to get new readers. xD I hope you can continue to enjoy it!

The next chapter will be up tomorrow/later. c:

~GS.
Yeah, but I wouldn't get my hopes up when, I've been putting off writing this for over a year now (possibly more than one). Also, I'm not sure where to start because I've never submitted anything like this online before.

Anyway, love the new chapter. We finally learn the houndoom's name! (Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks he and Dusty belong together! XP)
  #471  
Old 06-22-2012, 03:52 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by VGBM View Post
Yeah, but I wouldn't get my hopes up when, I've been putting off writing this for over a year now (possibly more than one). Also, I'm not sure where to start because I've never submitted anything like this online before.

Anyway, love the new chapter. We finally learn the houndoom's name! (Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks he and Dusty belong together! XP)
Oh darn, really? D: Wow, a year is pretty tough. Dx My writing was interrupted because of school for me last year. =/ And well, starting with an idea is good. Then if you try to work off that, and things you want to have happen in the story, and write all that down, then you'd probably start to form some kind of plan and a direction you'd be interested in continuing down. It's a good idea to read a range of stories (or even start reading them) to get an idea of what you might like your story to be like. You could also just start off with characters as well. Randomly compose some and choose a little situation to throw them into, even if that's only short. You might get a feel for what a character of yours would do or say. For this story, I had a really basic starting off plan, which then evolved and kept growing, so most of this story was originally non-existent. As you write, you formulate more ideas, and that's where some of the most interesting stories get their plots and ideas. x) As long as you have that motivation and inspiration, you can do it.

That's great! xD And yes. I didn't expect it to be so long, but I had to wait for the right moment. xD (Hahaha, you may be, you may not be. XD)

~GS.
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  #472  
Old 06-22-2012, 04:23 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


Oh darn, really? D: Wow, a year is pretty tough. Dx My writing was interrupted because of school for me last year. =/ And well, starting with an idea is good. Then if you try to work off that, and things you want to have happen in the story, and write all that down, then you'd probably start to form some kind of plan and a direction you'd be interested in continuing down. It's a good idea to read a range of stories (or even start reading them) to get an idea of what you might like your story to be like. You could also just start off with characters as well. Randomly compose some and choose a little situation to throw them into, even if that's only short. You might get a feel for what a character of yours would do or say. For this story, I had a really basic starting off plan, which then evolved and kept growing, so most of this story was originally non-existent. As you write, you formulate more ideas, and that's where some of the most interesting stories get their plots and ideas. x) As long as you have that motivation and inspiration, you can do it.

That's great! xD And yes. I didn't expect it to be so long, but I had to wait for the right moment. xD (Hahaha, you may be, you may not be. XD)

~GS.
Wait, that's not what I meant. I don't have trouble thinking of what to write (in fact I already have most of the story thought up), I guess I'm just nervous about what others will think, and feeling obligated to finish once I start and all that sort of stuff. Also, when I said I don't know where to start, I meant on terms of where and how to submit it.
  #473  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by VGBM View Post
Wait, that's not what I meant. I don't have trouble thinking of what to write (in fact I already have most of the story thought up), I guess I'm just nervous about what others will think, and feeling obligated to finish once I start and all that sort of stuff. Also, when I said I don't know where to start, I meant on terms of where and how to submit it.
XDD Well that was a massive fail on my part. But oh well. xD Ooh, right! Well I sorta was too, and it's easy to get like that when you post your first story. But mostly, especially on this forum, people are very friendly and constructive, and will help you rather than beat you down. And don't worry--there are few chaptered stories that have actually been finished on this site, I'm pretty sure. I definitely plan to finish this story, but not just for my readers as such, but because I love it as I do all my stories and it's made me happy for a long time now. Well, writing it. Obviously the readers are a large part, but make sure you're not just doing it for them.

What I mean is, even if you feel obligated to finish it, feel obligated to yourself, not to others. Then you will want to finish it and you'll have the right motivation! Of course, like I said, readers are fantastic and keep you going for a long time, but it's that balance between writer and reader that makes a story, I reckon. :] In terms of where to start, you just post a thread, really. xD The button's in two places I think, so it shouldn't be hard to find them.

If you're still too nervous, you could always show it to some friends first and see what they think or if you don't have many who like pokemon and would be willing to read your story/who you would want to show it to, you could PM a Creative Writing mod and show them instead. *coughMEcough* c: You could always write a little story for the Canalave Library, which is stickied in this section. ^^ It's a fun little project meant to be for recreation and making up fun stories based on the origin of a pokemon's details, such as their tails or their pattern or something. It's also meant to be in a more simplistic writing style, so that takes a lot of pressure off the overall quality, even if the quality should still be there, obviously. xD

Just curiously, how did you find this story? O:

~GS.
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 06-22-2012 at 05:07 PM.
  #474  
Old 06-22-2012, 11:58 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


XDD Well that was a massive fail on my part. But oh well. xD Ooh, right! Well I sorta was too, and it's easy to get like that when you post your first story. But mostly, especially on this forum, people are very friendly and constructive, and will help you rather than beat you down. And don't worry--there are few chaptered stories that have actually been finished on this site, I'm pretty sure. I definitely plan to finish this story, but not just for my readers as such, but because I love it as I do all my stories and it's made me happy for a long time now. Well, writing it. Obviously the readers are a large part, but make sure you're not just doing it for them.

What I mean is, even if you feel obligated to finish it, feel obligated to yourself, not to others. Then you will want to finish it and you'll have the right motivation! Of course, like I said, readers are fantastic and keep you going for a long time, but it's that balance between writer and reader that makes a story, I reckon. :] In terms of where to start, you just post a thread, really. xD The button's in two places I think, so it shouldn't be hard to find them.

If you're still too nervous, you could always show it to some friends first and see what they think or if you don't have many who like pokemon and would be willing to read your story/who you would want to show it to, you could PM a Creative Writing mod and show them instead. *coughMEcough* c: You could always write a little story for the Canalave Library, which is stickied in this section. ^^ It's a fun little project meant to be for recreation and making up fun stories based on the origin of a pokemon's details, such as their tails or their pattern or something. It's also meant to be in a more simplistic writing style, so that takes a lot of pressure off the overall quality, even if the quality should still be there, obviously. xD

Just curiously, how did you find this story? O:

~GS.
Thanks a lot for that, although I'm not too worried. I'm sure I'll be fine once I stop procrastinating. It doesn't help, though, that my computer died last December and I have to do everything on my iPod (it's either that or constantly borrow my dad's Windowsaurus Rex that I'm pretty sure is older than me). Also, I know I will want to finish it, I'm just not sure if I'll be able to when school comes back.

It's funny you should mention the Canalve Library, cause that thread's the whole reason I started an account here. Unfortunately, I never finished the story I was writing for it and don't know if I ever will. (Not for the same reasons as the fanfic though, just writer's block.) But if you think it'll help, then I'll try to get back on that.

As to answer your question, I have the fandom section of this site bookmarked (mostly for the web comics) and this story showed up on it (as well as the Canalave Library before) and I thought it looked interesting enough and decided to check it out.
  #475  
Old 06-23-2012, 09:59 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Ahh, right! XDDDD Nope, he doesn't. xP He's silly like that. Yep, she certainly had to realise that at some point. Woe is her that it had to be through guilt. xD

YES! xDDDDDD I can't wait to see what kinds of fakemon they are. .0.

I'm glad! *GAPS* Yus! I don't know when you'll find out, but yeah. xD Maybe if she discusses it with someone or something. xD Yay! =D Me too. xD

Yep, definitely. :c
Yep. XD And yeah, I wish she could have done it sooner, but it's definitely good that she realized it now.

It will definitely be excitement! .0.

Well, whenever it happens, it'll certainly be interesting to read. o:


Quote:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:

XDDDDDDDDDD BIGLY!

Hahah, you know something? xD I actually DID notice that when I went though it, but I forgot to change it, apparently. XDDDD

XDDDD Rudy's arm...
XDDDDDDD

Really? XD

Yep...

Quote:
XDDDDDDDDDDD AHAHHA, I didn't even realise! Hahha, I forgot about that. xD

OOOO: NO IT'S MEANT TO BE "TO MET WITH HIM"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Stick wounds! NO THAT WAS TARLA. xD Well Toof Penny isn't very tough. xD She pretends to be so she can beat up Snap, but she gets a collapsed lung if she goes to the bathroom alone, so she's clearly NOT very tough. XDD
XDDDDDDDDDDDD Really? Those were the first things I thought of.

OKAY IF YOU SAY SO!

OH I FORGOT WHERE I QUOTED THAT FROM. D: And no, she isn't. I wonder how she beats up Snap anyway. Probably because Rudy will stop him (because he has to CONTROL them) if he tries to fight back. What a toof.


Quote:
OOO: That's good! xD Awesome! =D Yeah, I haven't read about many generation 5 pokemon yet. xD Really? xD That's awesome! And yeah. Her flock didn't really mix with other flocks, so she never really knew 'cause of that. Yeah, definitely. And yep. Yeah, that's exactly right--her flock was very sheltering, so she never saw much of the world while she was there.

I'm glad I could surprise you! Yeah. o: Ahaha, yep, she's like that. xD Silly houndoom. >:c
Yeah, me neither. Understandably, since I haven't read as many stories as I used to and they're new. XD And that makes sense. o: Yep, that too.

It was definitely surprising! He's being bigly toofy. >:c


Quote:
It was? =D I'm glad! xD Haha, yeah, definitely. Really? O: XDDDDDD Yeah, you're right. It's great to know that you found it interesting though. I definitely enjoy writing character interaction stuff, especially between these two. xD It's a scream.

Ahh yeah. Ahaha, wait, did I make that clear? XD I meant so that, like, the contact heard Dusty's story about how she was betrayed by Izante, so they would have passed it onto him. But yeah. It was pretty vague. xD XD Yes! *GAPS* I love reading about your curiosity. xDD
Yep! .0. And character interaction is fun to write!

I thought it was clear. o: And yes, that's what I assumed and it didn't confuse me or anything.


Quote:
Oh, really? xDD Ahaha, yep. I mean, I think Shard and Dusty could have ended up being friends, as he started to warm to her, but then, yeah...the confession and his distrust (and rightfully so). And yeah! o: It was kind of like an escape from what just happened. She was rebelling against being near that houndoom and she just wanted to forget it, so she wanted to go back and do something pointless...until, like you said, she realised how pointless it would be, and how she was wasting time, soo...decided to be realistic. xD Yeah! o: That's good that you liked it! xD Yeah...it was...very serious... xD Yeah, she certainly does think she's justified, but at the same time, it was also a "blind rage" thing, so she kinda wanted to neglect thinking so she could just...attack without ethical consequence.
Yeah, I think so too. Then that kinda ruined things (and like you said, understandably). And yeah, that's good that she decided that. And yeah, that's what I got from it too. Understandable, but she wasn't really thinking.

Quote:
Really? :c Yeah. Dx Cool! xD Yeah. (XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Kiki and Penny! Well I'm glad I'm not a Space CaFEHt toof!) Ahh yeah. o: Yep. Dx I'm glad it came across as sensible! xD Yep. Yeah, that's true. I wanted her to stay too. XD

Oh good! o: Yus. >:3 Yeah, definitely! I'm glad. xDDD Hahhaa, nooo, this skarmory definitely had a reason for attacking. *will be revealed later*
Yep. :c (XDDDDDDDDDDDDD Yes! I'm very glad you're not either! This and Schemes of Red would be....a lot less interesting to read if you were. XD) Yeah, it did! And yeah...D: I wonder if she'll ever show up again. It might not be likely, but ah well.

Yeah, I know he had a reason! I'm interested to see what it was.


Quote:
Ahh yeah. And yep, she spiralled down and never saw it again. Ahahah, yeah! OO: You will definitely find out. xD

I'm glad! =D Yeah! XD That's awesome. *GAPS* I'm excitement to write more and have it make eventual sense. xDDD

And thank you for reading. 0v0 I will have the next one up soon! 8DDD
Yeah, that makes sense. o: Awesome!

I'm definitely excitement to read it!

You're welcome! These are awesome to read! And I hope you do!



Okay, review for the current chapter!


Quote:
“That’s right,” I said as I passed him, “beg for my approval.”
BEG FOR IT. OTHERWISE I WON’T DRAW YOU ICE CREAM!

Quote:
To my surprise, the dark and fire type snaked from my left and rolled out in front of me, curling his paws in and poking out his bottom lip while eying me with a sadness that was difficult to take seriously.
Like Rudy Clone’s! XD

Quote:
I inhaled deeply, quelling any remaining laughter, and turned to him. “You think I should have a bit of fun, do you?”
The houndoom gave a shrug-like dip of the head in agreement “I think you need to loosen up a bit, yeah. You’re tense. You look like you couldn’t enjoy yourself even if you were confined to an empty theme park with fully operational rides.”
Paragraphs aren’t separate. O: Also, hopefully that theme park would not have a ride on top of a giant watermelon.

Quote:
“When I had to save you from those enraged sandslash?” he questioned, his overbearing annoyingness returning.
I pinched his eyes with a glare. “Yeah, I’d forgotten how much fun that was,” I responded with evident sarcasm, adopting a lowered condescending tone conveying striking obviousness. “Like... Well, I...”
Not separated again. O:

Quote:
and created a thick expanse impossible of squeezing between.
Impossible to squeeze between?

Quote:
I frowned, seeing nothing but the curved wall that came back around me on both sides, curling again to meet some distance behind me. It was as if somebody had captured a humungous kadabra and asked them to use their spoon to dig out a dip in the earth. I shuddered to think how huge that psychic type would have to have been, but dismissed it as soon as I realised I was forming ridiculous stories in my mind.
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Quote:
their statures extremely different to each other as they both avoiding uprooted themselves on fallen logs
Both avoided

Quote:
The other, quite content with running on two legs as the flapped about in a useless accompaniment,
As the flapped?


Quote:
[i]‘Who cares who I was “fighting” anyway? I don’t get why this is something he needs to get his precious little tail in a knot over.’[i]
Messed up italics. o:


Well, first of all, I really like how you described the rock passage on the way to the mountains. It looked really bizarre and awesome in my head, and did seem like a dangerous place you wouldn't want to travel to. I really liked the image you described of it. And when they went into the tunnels, I was thinking, "YES! Cave exploration!" I'm really excited to see what happens while they're down there. .0.

I really liked reading the Azure flashback too. It was interesting to see a scene from her point of view and read her thoughts about it. It's neat to see another perspective of a previous scene. And it's also interesting to see her thoughts about Dusty change, and how she realized she was in her debt. I really wonder how she and Dusty will get along in the future. o: The brief explanation of part of her past was interesting too. Casting her out because the diamonds on her back were strange was pretty toofy. I wonder if she had any differences before she evolved, or if it happened afterward and everyone was pretty shocked about it and started assuming it was some sort of evil mark or something. I really wonder how that all came about.

Quote:
In the time that she had known he was with Dusty, she knew that he was doing so in the absence of hostility. Although she probably showed it to him, he had no such intentions, which posed the question: what exactly did he want? He knew he wasn’t welcome within the colony, and Azure in particular condemned him for her own reasons.
Now I really want to know how Azure knows the houndoom, and what she condemns him for.

As for the houndoom, or Zaion, he was really making me angry in that chapter, going on and on about their fight and the Izante thing. He was being bigly toofy. Dusty hated being reminded of that and he just kept going and....feh. I was really annoyed with him. And how he wouldn't just stop no matter how much she told him. When he was all, "Just get over it" I was even more aggravated with him. I completely understand how Dusty reacted like that, and I hope he acts less toofy in the future.

I was surprised when he tried to run away as soon as the others appeared, but glad when Dusty caught him. c:< It was interesting to learn his name too. And I like how it sounds. o: I really wondered what his comment about loyalties had meant. I'm pretty sure that whatever it was, it wasn't Azure belonging to another colony like Dusty assumed.

I also like how Splash was acting the whole time. It was amusing. xD

I'm interested to see where these tunnels go and what'll happen while they're wandering in them (I know I already said this, so....department of redundancy department, but..I really love cave/underground scenes, as you know). I bet it'll be more interesting with the four of them together instead of just the two.

I think you did a great job on this and I'm looking forward to the next one!
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  #476  
Old 06-24-2012, 01:57 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by VGBM View Post
Thanks a lot for that, although I'm not too worried. I'm sure I'll be fine once I stop procrastinating. It doesn't help, though, that my computer died last December and I have to do everything on my iPod (it's either that or constantly borrow my dad's Windowsaurus Rex that I'm pretty sure is older than me). Also, I know I will want to finish it, I'm just not sure if I'll be able to when school comes back.

It's funny you should mention the Canalve Library, cause that thread's the whole reason I started an account here. Unfortunately, I never finished the story I was writing for it and don't know if I ever will. (Not for the same reasons as the fanfic though, just writer's block.) But if you think it'll help, then I'll try to get back on that.

As to answer your question, I have the fandom section of this site bookmarked (mostly for the web comics) and this story showed up on it (as well as the Canalave Library before) and I thought it looked interesting enough and decided to check it out.
No worries! Well that's good then. xD Ahaha, as is the norm. Oh what. ._. I could never write a story on an iPod. DD: Aw man. Dx Maybe you should write it on paper instead. o: Seriously though, you can't save word docs on those things. And the typing and... Dx *wouldn't cope* xD Well that's the thing--you don't have to finish it all in one year or anything. When school comes back, you can still sit down to write a bit every now and again, even if it's just a few paragraphs or sentences at a time.

XD Oh wow, really? Well if you'd like, I could try to come up with a few ideas for you! And the minimum words is only 1000, so I'm sure you can come up with something quick. It's not meant to be super complex or anything; just something simple. ^^

Ooh, really? That's cool! xD I suppose it was a smart idea to submit it to the site then! Thanks for checking it out. :]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yep. XD And yeah, I wish she could have done it sooner, but it's definitely good that she realized it now.

It will definitely be excitement! .0.

Well, whenever it happens, it'll certainly be interesting to read. o:

XDDDDDDD

Really? XD

Yep...
Yeah, silly Dusty. DDDx

Yay! 8D

Yus! o: I'm glad you're interested. xD

XD Yes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
XDDDDDDDDDDDD Really? Those were the first things I thought of.

OKAY IF YOU SAY SO!

OH I FORGOT WHERE I QUOTED THAT FROM. D: And no, she isn't. I wonder how she beats up Snap anyway. Probably because Rudy will stop him (because he has to CONTROL them) if he tries to fight back. What a toof.

Yeah, me neither. Understandably, since I haven't read as many stories as I used to and they're new. XD And that makes sense. o: Yep, that too.

It was definitely surprising! He's being bigly toofy. >:c
XDDDDDDD YES! Hahhaa, way to go inside jokes! xD

YES.

OH NO. Me too. (YES OF COURSE.) Bigly. Dx

Yeah. xD Good point.

OOO: Yep. Dx

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yep! .0. And character interaction is fun to write!

I thought it was clear. o: And yes, that's what I assumed and it didn't confuse me or anything.

Yeah, I think so too. Then that kinda ruined things (and like you said, understandably). And yeah, that's good that she decided that. And yeah, that's what I got from it too. Understandable, but she wasn't really thinking.
XD They are!

That's good! Okay, good. xD

Definitely. I'm glad you do! And yep. Dx

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yep. :c (XDDDDDDDDDDDDD Yes! I'm very glad you're not either! This and Schemes of Red would be....a lot less interesting to read if you were. XD) Yeah, it did! And yeah...D: I wonder if she'll ever show up again. It might not be likely, but ah well.

Yeah, I know he had a reason! I'm interested to see what it was.

Yeah, that makes sense. o: Awesome!

I'm definitely excitement to read it!

You're welcome! These are awesome to read! And I hope you do!
(XDDD They would be entirely toofy and have stupid friend-excluding timesing. xD) *GAPS* Yeah.


*GAPS AGAIN* Yay! xD

WOOO!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Okay, review for the current chapter!

BEG FOR IT. OTHERWISE I WON’T DRAW YOU ICE CREAM!

Like Rudy Clone’s! XD

Paragraphs aren’t separate. O: Also, hopefully that theme park would not have a ride on top of a giant watermelon.

Not separated again. O:
XDDDDDD

XDDDDDDD Oh my gosh, yes!

*GAPS* XDDDD Hahaha, and the Bug's Life ride!

DDDD:<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Impossible to squeeze between?

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Both avoided

As the flapped?

Messed up italics. o:
... Yes. xD

*corrected them all* Thanks for finding those. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Well, first of all, I really like how you described the rock passage on the way to the mountains. It looked really bizarre and awesome in my head, and did seem like a dangerous place you wouldn't want to travel to. I really liked the image you described of it. And when they went into the tunnels, I was thinking, "YES! Cave exploration!" I'm really excited to see what happens while they're down there. .0.

I really liked reading the Azure flashback too. It was interesting to see a scene from her point of view and read her thoughts about it. It's neat to see another perspective of a previous scene. And it's also interesting to see her thoughts about Dusty change, and how she realized she was in her debt. I really wonder how she and Dusty will get along in the future. o: The brief explanation of part of her past was interesting too. Casting her out because the diamonds on her back were strange was pretty toofy. I wonder if she had any differences before she evolved, or if it happened afterward and everyone was pretty shocked about it and started assuming it was some sort of evil mark or something. I really wonder how that all came about.
Thanks! 8D I'm glad you do! Ahaha, that's cool! Yeah! o: I'm glad you go. c: Hahhaa, I knew you would love that. xD I've wanted to write about caves for ages and I finally got the chance. xD

*GAPS* Awesome! Yeah, definitely! I myself found it interesting, simply because usually I write from Dusty's point of view, obviously. xD Really? Yep, definitely. Yeah, it was bigly toofy. Dx Well she's actually Gemma's guest star, so that was part of the history she gave for Azure, so I planned on trying to work that in somehow. O:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Now I really want to know how Azure knows the houndoom, and what she condemns him for.

As for the houndoom, or Zaion, he was really making me angry in that chapter, going on and on about their fight and the Izante thing. He was being bigly toofy. Dusty hated being reminded of that and he just kept going and....feh. I was really annoyed with him. And how he wouldn't just stop no matter how much she told him. When he was all, "Just get over it" I was even more aggravated with him. I completely understand how Dusty reacted like that, and I hope he acts less toofy in the future.

I was surprised when he tried to run away as soon as the others appeared, but glad when Dusty caught him. c:< It was interesting to learn his name too. And I like how it sounds. o: I really wondered what his comment about loyalties had meant. I'm pretty sure that whatever it was, it wasn't Azure belonging to another colony like Dusty assumed.
OOO: c: (You only get faces in response. xD)

Yeah... Dx He can be playful but he goes too far, especially about something Dusty's obviously very touchy about. D: He was. Yeah... This is kinda why she finds it difficult to like him. xDx (XD Feh.) Yeah... >:c Hopefully he learns his lesson.

XD Really? Hahahaha, yes! (XD That face!) O: I'm glad you think so! It's a name I've had for years, and I made it his name ages ago too, but yeah, never integrated it till now. xD Thanks! YES! OOO: I think it'll be a while until everything becomes clear though. xD BUT I LIKE THAT YOU WONDER ABOUT IT! xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I also like how Splash was acting the whole time. It was amusing. xD

I'm interested to see where these tunnels go and what'll happen while they're wandering in them (I know I already said this, so....department of redundancy department, but..I really love cave/underground scenes, as you know). I bet it'll be more interesting with the four of them together instead of just the two.

I think you did a great job on this and I'm looking forward to the next one!
XDDDDD Yep. He's a big adorable quagsire. Complacent. Oblivious. And all the rest. xD

Yah! o: (XDDDDDD Yep, I understand, and there's not really that much else to talk about. XD) I thought so too! 8D xD And hopefully they can all meet up soon. xD

Thank you so much. c: Yeah, I can't wait to keep producing them until I get to relevant stuff. XDDD Well, this IS relevant, but not very plotty I guess. It's progressively plotty. xD

Thanks for reading again. c:

~GS.
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  #477  
Old 06-24-2012, 04:22 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


No worries! Well that's good then. xD Ahaha, as is the norm. Oh what. ._. I could never write a story on an iPod. DD: Aw man. Dx Maybe you should write it on paper instead. o: Seriously though, you can't save word docs on those things. And the typing and... Dx *wouldn't cope* xD Well that's the thing--you don't have to finish it all in one year or anything. When school comes back, you can still sit down to write a bit every now and again, even if it's just a few paragraphs or sentences at a time.

XD Oh wow, really? Well if you'd like, I could try to come up with a few ideas for you! And the minimum words is only 1000, so I'm sure you can come up with something quick. It's not meant to be super complex or anything; just something simple. ^^

Ooh, really? That's cool! xD I suppose it was a smart idea to submit it to the site then! Thanks for checking it out. :]
Well there's still the notes app and google docs, and in my opinion, any form ofvtyping is better than writing by hand. (I HATE writing by hand!)

Oh, no, that's fine. I already have the idea (and about half-a-dozen others), I just temporarily forgot where I was going with it, and I don't want to start the next story until I finish the first.

By the way, may I ask how you came up with some of these names? (Zaion, Zhol, Izante, etc.)
They all sound really awesome!
  #478  
Old 06-29-2012, 07:38 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Yeah, silly Dusty. DDDx

Yay! 8D

Yus! o: I'm glad you're interested. xD

XD Yes!
Yep. XD

Well, DUH I'm interested!

Quote:
XDDDDDDD YES! Hahhaa, way to go inside jokes! xD

YES.

OH NO. Me too. (YES OF COURSE.) Bigly. Dx

Yeah. xD Good point.

OOO: Yep. Dx
Yes, definitely. xD

Dumb toof Penny. >:c


Quote:

(XDDD They would be entirely toofy and have stupid friend-excluding timesing. xD) *GAPS* Yeah.


*GAPS AGAIN* Yay! xD

WOOO!
(Yes, it would! And be full of anti-sense that would make funny inside jokes but be REALLY aggravating! D:<)

.0.


Quote:
XDDDDDD

XDDDDDDD Oh my gosh, yes!

*GAPS* XDDDD Hahaha, and the Bug's Life ride!

DDDD:<
XDDDDDDDDDDD

Yes! .0.


Quote:
... Yes. xD

*corrected them all* Thanks for finding those. xD
You're welcome! .0.

Quote:
Thanks! 8D I'm glad you do! Ahaha, that's cool! Yeah! o: I'm glad you go. c: Hahhaa, I knew you would love that. xD I've wanted to write about caves for ages and I finally got the chance. xD

*GAPS* Awesome! Yeah, definitely! I myself found it interesting, simply because usually I write from Dusty's point of view, obviously. xD Really? Yep, definitely. Yeah, it was bigly toofy. Dx Well she's actually Gemma's guest star, so that was part of the history she gave for Azure, so I planned on trying to work that in somehow. O:
It was awesome! And yes, I'm bigly excitement for the caves! .0. I'm so glad you could finally write about them.

Yeah, it's awesome to write things from different characters' perspectives! Bigly! Oh, right! I forgot that! Well, I'm sure you'll come up with something good!

Quote:
OOO: c: (You only get faces in response. xD)

Yeah... Dx He can be playful but he goes too far, especially about something Dusty's obviously very touchy about. D: He was. Yeah... This is kinda why she finds it difficult to like him. xDx (XD Feh.) Yeah... >:c Hopefully he learns his lesson.

XD Really? Hahahaha, yes! (XD That face!) O: I'm glad you think so! It's a name I've had for years, and I made it his name ages ago too, but yeah, never integrated it till now. xD Thanks! YES! OOO: I think it'll be a while until everything becomes clear though. xD BUT I LIKE THAT YOU WONDER ABOUT IT! xD
o: (You only get that one! Hah!)

Yeah, definitely. D: And I understand why, I mean...he doesn't seem to care about annoying others, which is pretty toofy. >:c I hope so too!

XDDDDDDDDD And really? That's awesome! I really like the name. And that's all right! It'll be exciting to get there, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store, especially with the cave (*GAPS*).


Quote:
XDDDDD Yep. He's a big adorable quagsire. Complacent. Oblivious. And all the rest. xD

Yah! o: (XDDDDDD Yep, I understand, and there's not really that much else to talk about. XD) I thought so too! 8D xD And hopefully they can all meet up soon. xD

Thank you so much. c: Yeah, I can't wait to keep producing them until I get to relevant stuff. XDDD Well, this IS relevant, but not very plotty I guess. It's progressively plotty. xD

Thanks for reading again. c:

~GS.
Yep. XD I love that!

(Well, it's not that...I just like talking about caves. xD) Yeah. O:

Well, of course it's relevant. Not all chapters have a ton of plotty stuff!

And you're welcome! I BIGLY enjoy it! .0.
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  #479  
Old 07-25-2012, 08:16 AM
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Graceful_Suicune Offline
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Well, DUH I'm interested!

Yes, definitely. xD

Dumb toof Penny. >:c

(Yes, it would! And be full of anti-sense that would make funny inside jokes but be REALLY aggravating! D:<)

It was awesome! And yes, I'm bigly excitement for the caves! .0. I'm so glad you could finally write about them.

Yeah, it's awesome to write things from different characters' perspectives! Bigly! Oh, right! I forgot that! Well, I'm sure you'll come up with something good!
WELL GOOD!

Bigly! D:<

(XDDDDD YES that's right. *hopes we can have inside jokes from the one we read tonight*)

Yay! =D I hope I can do them well! XD They probably won't spend too long in caves though, but yeah, we'll see.

It is! xD Yes. YAY. C:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
o: (You only get that one! Hah!)

Yeah, definitely. D: And I understand why, I mean...he doesn't seem to care about annoying others, which is pretty toofy. >:c I hope so too!

XDDDDDDDDD And really? That's awesome! I really like the name. And that's all right! It'll be exciting to get there, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store, especially with the cave (*GAPS*).

Yep. XD I love that!

(Well, it's not that...I just like talking about caves. xD) Yeah. O:

Well, of course it's relevant. Not all chapters have a ton of plotty stuff!

And you're welcome! I BIGLY enjoy it! .0.
(XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD)

Yeah, it's bigly toofy. Dx

OOO: Thanks! I'm glad you do like his name. xD *GAPS*

(XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD)

Yes. Indeed. xD Shot down there.

YAY! .0000. GOOD FOR YOU BECAUSE I HAVE ANOTHER TO POST.

~GS.
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  #480  
Old 07-25-2012, 08:20 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

This one's only kinda shortish. XD Not too short though. I actually have a completed one longer than this too! It was originally a single chapter but it was 18,000 words so I decided to split it up... XDDDDD So to let you know all randomly, this one's 8,000 and the next will be 10,000. ANYWAY I'LL SHUT UP SO WE CAN GET TO IT SHALL I? .0.

Chapter Twenty-Six: Knock-knock

It was an expectation of mine to see ground type pokémon. I thought they would be nearly everywhere, littering the hardened earth and burrowing through its core, carving paths that would soon be forgotten. Sometimes I thought of it to be quite a nasty scheme; a ground type could just dig its way through a section of the ground and wait for prey above – either that or any unsuspecting trespasser – to fall through the weaker parts and be sucked into the earth. I never really thought about that while living on the surface until the underground tunnels revealed such possibilities to me. It seemed somewhat unrealistic that some heftier pokémon could trek on the surface without falling into a hole that they themselves happened to make within that small collection of seconds.

Sometimes the ceiling above me would arch so high that I found it unbelievable that there was stable land on top. Some part of me was glad for relocating to this lower level, but part of me was worried—as well as the danger of being a pokémon on the outside falling down, for us there was a danger of them falling on us. I didn’t wish such a death upon any of the pokémon I was travelling with, let alone me, as even the houndoom did not escape my concern.

He and Azure, Splash and I had been trudging through an ongoing tunnel for a short time – possibly about half an hour, during which my temper managed to cool off – and in that time, hardly a word was uttered. I wanted to ask him how he knew Azure, but I knew the chances of him answering that were low. If he hadn’t told me yet, and he hadn’t before they met up with us, then I didn’t imagine he had a wish to tell me at all. I stopped myself from huffing when I compared it with my own wishes—I wouldn’t want him to know of any personal information about me. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop me from wanting to hear about his relationship with the ice type. It wasn’t as if I could ask Splash either. He was as dull as the surrounding cave walls, and provided no such entertainment. Not even words. It hadn’t been long since they met up with us, but I had a feeling that the dual type was not accustomed to talking much, if at all, and it even crossed my mind that perhaps he wasn’t capable.

After coming to a forked path and hearing the two canine pokémon argue over which way was the correct one, we eventually decided to follow Azure. I had no idea if the action was wise or not, but she gave us little choice as she began to strut down the tunnel she chose with little more than acknowledgement that there was another direction. Zaion (I still had trouble attaching the name to the face) was less than impressed or even accepting as we continued, and he dropped back to pad with me, a firmer gait and more focused attention suggesting that he was more alert that usual. He was clearly annoyed to have been overridden with the glaceon’s choice, and looked to firmly believe we would end up somewhere we didn’t have a desire to go.

Realising my chance had arrived to try to get some information out of him, I warily glanced up ahead to check that Azure’s ears were too far out of reach to hear our words. “Houndoom,” I hissed quietly, hoping the blubbery form of the quagsire between us and the glaceon would block some of the sound. “What’s going on? How do you know her?”

He looked relieved if anything that I had spoken, although the implication was so miniscule that I had to recheck if that was what it really was. His eyes didn’t meet mine as he muttered, “We’re...old friends.”

“You don’t look like friends to me,” I mumbled. “Neither do you sound like it. Or even smell like it. It’s like there’s some wafting stench of hate emanating equally from the both of you.”

He only allowed a frown to press atop his eyes, and curled his mouth into an expression of berating confusion, as if I had said something absurd and completely unrelated... And then I realised I had. “Maybe ‘friends’ isn’t the exact term to use.”

“No,” I agreed with several nods, following his line of sight past the powder blue pokémon and landing on the glaceon up ahead. “It certainly doesn’t seem like it.”

“It’s mere past quarrels is all,” he told me simply, and I knew from that statement that he was not inclined to tell me more. As much as I wanted to know, it wasn’t going to happen.

After another short while, we had come to an opening that overlooked a cavern far down below, which had opened up from the path we had been travelling to create a large roughly circular area. The distance amazed me; I wasn’t aware that the cave spanned so far downward. It was the distance that a short cliff would be from the ground, but when it was beneath the surface, it seemed all the more strange to see. There was a narrow ledge curving from our right that ran along the outside of the large room and descended for a time before it dropped off. The height of the end of the ledge, which stopped before the directly opposite side of the room to which we were standing, was still too great to be able to drop from. That was, unless one was willing to call themselves experts (but even then chance a broken leg). On the left side of the opened room branched another tunnel that burrowed through the great wall of rock that shaped one side of the room, and I suddenly came to wonder just how many underground paths there were.

“Flair,” muttered the houndoom, and to my surprise, I realised I was the only one stationed by the large opening in the wall that overlooked the cavern. They had all taken the path to the left that continued on from the one we had just been passing along. In my distracted state, I hadn’t realised that there was another way to go other than through the opening and into the large room. He jerked his head in the direction Splash and Azure had walked.

I blinked a few times and bounded after them as Zaion turned and began to stalk away, catching up to him in no time. When I spoke, my words were hurried with excitement, which I hadn’t purposely done, but was perfectly content with it anyway. “Did you see that?” I paused to see his reaction, but he merely stared ahead with half-open eyes, clearly far from amused. I didn’t care though. “It was amazing! Like some giant...circular...hall in the centre of a cave!”

“It’s not the centre,” he murmured, and I cocked my head, somehow feeling washed with a form of mollified joy.

“Oh, well, it’s still awesome.” I glanced back over my shoulder, only witnessing the stream of light pouring in from the opening, which was difficult to see from the angle, much less the room itself. Minor disappointment seeped through my mind as I turned back, but I shrugged, angling to the right as the others did so whilst following the path.

It soon occurred to me that we were inside the wall that the left tunnel of that room had burrowed through, and concluded that we would be crossing over it, considering the different levels. I found myself wondering what other wondrous elements of caves were in existence; in all my travels with my trainer, I had only occasionally passed through caves, and the ones we made it through were short and daft. It was amazing to explore a proper one. However, happily I corrected myself, noting that this was hardly exploring. Exploring would mean stumbling across things more amazing than a simple room and on purpose; I began to picture all the other kinds of sights I would be able to see.

Surprisingly the number of pokémon we happened across was fairly limited. The whole trip consisted of a few families of drilbur, a sandshrew or two and a couple of trapinch. They were often on the move for meals or, as it was for the drilbur, popping up at random intervals and intersecting our paths by mistake. One of them shot up from the ground right in front of me at one stage, scaring the living daylights out of me. She repeated hasty apologies before disappearing; I got the impression that she was looking for someone, but I wasn’t to know. The details didn’t exactly matter anyway.

There had not been another cavern such as the one we had encountered earlier, much to my disappointment, but the amazements didn’t cease. On a few occasions, the cave became granite, and sometimes produced more tunnels in one spot than we could have split up to travel down. A wider room soon came into view, the walls extending outward and the ceiling a was fraction higher to allow for hanging stalactites to drop from above and have enough room to shatter. As we began to pass through, me at the back with the others in front, I was glad to deduce that there were no spears of rock looking to be unstable enough to fall, and I was reassured by my judgement alone that it was safe to pass through. Besides, the houndoom had clearly been through these parts before, and therefore was somewhat familiar with the oddities lurking in the depths of the underground tunnels. If he thought there was something wrong, I believe he would have spoken up.

Stalagmites grew from the floor, riddling the walking surface with their obstructing forms. The arrangement went on for a while, and even though I was somewhat assured that we were not going to get separated, I had that odd sick feeling that was hard to shake.

I made the decision to walk with the others, but my random position change might have drawn some kind of unnecessary attention; I didn’t want them to think I was afraid of the possibility that they might descend and pierce my body, or that I was frightened of enemies which may have crept up from behind. “Hey, uhh...what’s up ahead?” I asked aloud. I tried to look as casual as I could as I waited for their answer.

“Um,” Zaion began, tossing his head out in front before returning it to me. “Nothing of note.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, pretending to be totally clueless. He looked at me oddly and nodded slowly with a raised brow. I waited a moment longer after purposely averting my eyes, and upon looking back to him, his questioning face made me clarify. “Oh, it’s just that I can’t really see anything up ahead. You know, with three pokémon in my way.”

He furrowed his brow, and was quite perplexed. “Dusty. The room is wide,” he began, gesturing to the rest of the room at once. “You just have to look past us. And what view could three pokémon like us possibly obscure?”

“Hey,” I started, realising for a moment that he had a valid argument, “I couldn’t see, okay?” I reiterated, a little bewilderment in my tone as I shrugged,

“Right.” He whirled around and continued on.

I was a little agitated that he didn’t seem at all to care. “Well, I think I’ll just...”

Not waiting for a reply, I trotted past him, feeling his eyes on my back as I continued, and stopped at the front after passing Splash and ending up beside Azure. The glaceon was clearly not very impressed as she glared at me. I understood; it wasn’t like we were friends. She heaved a sigh and I turned around, eying the houndoom from up front. His head was turned, but he probably knew I was looking.

We walked around protruding spires of rock as we went, and a few times I got to stand on stumps, the top half no longer there. None of the stalactites fell either, and I assumed that they were fixed to the ceiling with security that was difficult to surpass. Nevertheless, it was difficult to come by and rely on reassurance alone; at least, travelling with a pokémon beside me, we would have more of a chance to defend ourselves if one of them cascaded from above and threatened to puncture our bodies.

We kept going, encountering a small pool at some point, which we stopped to drink from. It was appropriately guarded by rock watchman sprouting from the cavern floor, and for some reason I was compelled to imagine them with human dress and some type of spear. And then I imagined a moustache on one of them, a broader one, and was so distracted by the other amusing mental images which generated in my mind that I forgot about the fact that we were on the move, the others departing from the lake before me. When I realised, I flicked my head about and quickly caught up with them.

We made it out of the cavern and popped out into a tunnel branching left and right, each of us displaying a notable difference in our tenseness. I could relax now that there was no blatantly obvious danger, even if it had only been falling stalactites that were the threat. The coast was clear, and there was nothing that could visibly cause any sort of wariness.

The others began to move off to the right, and I skipped ahead to catch up with glaceon, thoughts of her telling me what had happened between her and the dark type testing my mind. When I walked beside her once again, she sighed irritably, making me strangely content.

“So you...know the houndoom,” I confirmed slowly. She remained silent, so I took it upon myself to continue. “Tell me...how long have you known him?”

A spark jumped between us, some sort of wave that shattered a wall she learnedly hoped I wouldn’t even gaze upon. I continued to look her in the eyes as my curiosity gained me the right to know what exactly was going on. If they didn’t want me to know, then they could keep their strange rivalry to themselves and stop involving me in it. Even though they hadn’t said a word to each other since their “greeting” when Azure and Splash ran into us, aside from the argument over the path we were going to take at one stage, they constantly shared looks of silent disdain they clearly didn’t want to voice.

However, I would be caught in the crossfire, and their mutual mistrust of one another made it difficult to make decisions based on fact and logic alone. If that was the way it had to be, then I believed I deserved to know why my journey was being obstructed by personal matters. The conversation they had exchanged upon meeting with each other in particular stuck with me; there were things mentioned that I wanted the answers to, but then again, I probably didn’t have the appropriate jurisdiction. I fought with myself to leave it alone, but regardless, I was left immensely curious.

She shifted uncomfortably and looked ahead, as if maintaining some sort of expected pride. “I don’t wish to answer.”

“You don’t have a choice,” I growled, and she was momentarily shocked, and then her condescension returned.

“I always have a choice. And I’m choosing not to tell you.” She swished her tail in a manner that reminded me of her insolence on the ship, and suddenly fragments of those events flashed in my mind.

“Sooner or later, I’m gonna find out. You guys can’t look at each other without some sort of trade of hate. I wanna know what is up with that; I do believe I have a right to know why the members of my travelling party are incapable of getting along for at least a few minutes. If it didn’t affect your ability to make rational decisions, I’d be more likely to leave it alone.”

“That’s asking too much,” she snapped, twitching her head toward me but not actually directing her eyes to mine. It was my turn to react with shock, and I proceeded to stare at her, almost bewildered. She was as stubborn as Zaion.

“So you think that I have no right to know? Is that it? You guys are allowed to go on and banter about this and that, and nearly get into a physical fight, and you tell me that it’s not my business?” I tried to catch her eyes while not letting Zaion come into awareness of our argument. “Yeah, I get privacy. But this is ridiculous. What happens when the fight involves me, and I’m forced to choose between trusting you or him? Can you still not explain it then? Is that what you call fair?”

“Oh, just shut up!” she hissed, finally meeting my eyes. She quickly looked back to Zaion, who was thankfully not paying us attention. His sights were set on a nearby duo of wary rattata. I assumed he was rather eager to catch some food, on account of how we hadn’t eaten all day so far. She looked to hold something back before giving in and whispering quietly, with almost a hint of shame, “I can’t tell you.”

I snorted. Couldn’t tell me? What kind of nonsense did she expect me to freely believe? “And why not? You two have some kind of falling out? What, were you...” I tried to search my mind for possible answers, chancing one that came to mind. The thought raise my spirits a little with amusement. I nearly chuckled with cheekiness before I proposed, “Were you once mates or something?”

“What?!” she responded, the incredulousness in her tone melting through the solid rock walls. Immediately she piped down and cleared her voice, redirecting her face as Zaion looked up, obviously curious about the sudden outburst. If she could have turned red and have it show through her blue fur, she would have. She looked to readjust herself and uttered to me in a hushed voice, “No! Of course not! Why would you even suggest that?” The disgust in her words made me smile with humorousness; the thought of being mates with that houndoom was on a level of repulsiveness suited to her reaction.

“Calm down,” I replied, an entertained scowl brushing my face. I spoke the sentence as if she had reacted far more dramatically than what she had needed to.

She threw me a glare I was suddenly sure could startle the fiercest of enemies. “Don’t be so absurd.”

“It was just a question,” I responded with a claim to innocence. At the same time, my voice betrayed layers of patronisation.

She rumbled and stared at the ground for a collection of seconds before looking up toward the path before us, the torch Splash still held emanating its light. I took a moment to admire the awe that entered my mind and embodied my limbs when I came into the presence of fire, embracing its glory. There were so many things I loved about fire, and when I blinked, only to open them on the glaceon beside me, I could see nothing but solemness. It was then that I recognised the weight of duty and sealed knowledge which dragged her down and stole her thoughts. Clearly the answer to the question I had put forth carried elements of a burden, or at least something that she felt she could not easily share. I could understand, but at the same time I was still highly curious to know, although I didn’t wish to press any further.

Continued in the next post...
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 08-26-2012 at 01:28 AM.
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