IGNORE THE PREVIOUS POST. Sorry this took so long Bumbles. ;-;
Not too complicated of a story: some kids go to the zoo, one of them is a Woobie
, while the other is sort of a really big Jerkass
. The Woobie gets attacked by a Sewaddle, because the Jerkass hits it with a rock, and a Pokemon battle ensues. I do like the touch with Buzz ending up catching it, rather than Chainy keeping it. Keeping up with characterization is always good, even in short little vignettes like this.
As far as characters go... I spent the whole story snickering. From the intro up until the end, you had their characters pretty solid...
“Hahaha, as if that hurt.” Buzz said, as he began to laugh his ass off. He then walked over towards the Pokéball and picked it up. “Can I keep it dad?” Buzz asked.
Although, if Winter is their sister... that leads to some disturbing implications
Mostly, though, for what your plot lacks in class and complexity, it was good enough for a Sewaddle. (Laughs buy points with me.)
Well, there's not a ton, which can be a problem, though I assume that's because you didn't want to go into too much detail with Buzz and Chainy. X_X There is a smidgen with the hair color and the shirts, but still, it would've been nice to know a bit more about what the zoo and the Pokemon look like. Or there dad for that matter. (Who is that, by the way? Sam? JESS? I bet it's Jess.) Anyways, you could've done a lot more with description, which makes this the weak section in your story.
“Dad, can we go to the zoo today?” A twelve year old boy with round glasses and blonde hair asked.
That 'A' after the dialogue should be lowercase, because it's part of a dialogue tag. Dialogue tags are basically the part of the sentence following the dialogue and describe how something was said. Some of the most common are words like 'said', 'yelled', 'shouted', etc. I just pointed this out, because you made the capitalization mistake several times, but it's something that you can pick up on pretty easy. ^_^
“Thanks dad, you’re the best.”
When 'Dad' is a person, the word should be capitalized. It's only lowercase if it's descriptive, for example, "John is Mick's dad."
You're just over the line.
The only thing you really need to work on is that description. Just because it's easiest doesn't mean you can skimp out in the future. e_e Well, have fun with this anyways: