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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 07-25-2011, 09:01 PM
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Default Coping with Reality [PG-13+ for Bad Language]

Coping With Reality - A Pokemon FanFiction
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Last edited by Sealboy; 09-29-2012 at 11:49 AM.
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:01 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Prologue


Normal – that's how life had felt for all of these years; every morning I would be excited about the future of the upcoming days, the potential adventure that awaited for me for so long. I had been, I think, fifteen at the time. New laws had come across that you were only allowed to be a trainer at sixteen rather than ten – something to do with recent kidnappings of many children I suppose, or it had something to do with the dangerous organisations that seemed to drift about. The most likely explanation may have been that it seemed a stupid idea for children to be amongst powerful, sometimes fearful, creatures – I never really knew. However, it didn't bother me; I was pleased that I got to stay at home with my Mother for six more years – I would have missed her cooking.

How had it happened that day? I don't seem to remember as easily as I used to, everything was so much more different now. I think I had woken up, feeling the rays from the sun which were entering through my window, beaming down onto my face. I had always thought that it was a sign of good luck to come; that whenever I felt the warmth of the sun, it was that I would have a great day. Oh how I was wrong.

I entered the dining room, looking around in search of my mother. Usually, she was preparing my breakfast in the morning, myself being amazed at how she always had it ready for as soon as I woke up – a 'Mother's Instinct' I suppose. However, in the dining room, she was not to be seen. I raised my eyebrows, wondering where she could have been.

"Mum?" I called out, worry in my voice as negative thoughts began to ravage my mind. She was always somewhere to be seen... always. Today, however, she was no where to be found and this was worrying. I didn't want to edge over to the counter that separated the dining room from the kitchen, too afraid of what I might find – every negative outcome was playing in my mind, one of them being the dead, cold body of my mother. I froze on the spot, cold sweat running down my forehead.

"Akito?" came back a familiar female voice, suddenly a head popping up from behind the counter. Her facial expression was confused for some reason, as she stared at me for a few moments intently. I, in reply, sighed in relief – wiping my forehead with my arm in an attempt to remove the sweat.

"You had me worried there for a moment, Mum," I stated, sitting down on one of the chairs situated on the rectangular dining room table – stationed in the middle of the room. My mother was around her mid-thirties, her dark brown hair flowing just past her shoulders. Her face was dimpled with many freckles, as well as holding her still questionable stare with her deep blue eyes. She wore a pink shirt that displayed her shoulders and a pair of light blue jeans that covered a majority of her fluffy purple socks. She stood there, staring at me for a few moments, before I finally asked,

"Are you... okay?" at my sudden question she seemed to click back into reality, a smile appearing on her face. She began to busy herself back to whatever she was doing behind the counter, this time making various metallic noises with the pots situated within that area.

"Of course I am," she replied, "I'm just shocked that you're up this early." This excuse had caused me to look up at the clock on the wall, in which the time was displayed as 11:30 in the morning. I frowned, this was hardly early. Was she truly all right as she had stated beforehand?

"You might have to wait a little while, I haven't prepared breakfast yet," she informed me in her soothingly sweet voice. However, this had shocked me greatly; never in my life had she ever been late with breakfast before, and this had begun to rack my nerves. I had to calm myself down though, for I must be over-exaggerating... Mustn't I?

"Don't worry about it. You're only human, right?" I asked jokingly, trying to rid my unease. I laughed uncomfortably as I looked out of the nearest window, surveying the nature that was surrounding our house. I could see out of the corner of my eye my mother, slowly rising, as if in response to my last question. However, she didn't face my direction, she kept to the other way in which she would begin using the cooker. I could see, from the angle I watched her from, that her facial expression was blank – she was in deep thought about something. Surely she was not dwelling on my recent question?

Suddenly, everything in sight jolted, flickered even. I could see the house change from it's original bright colour to that of a darker tone; the table looked worn out, covered in nicks and scratches, as were the chairs and everything else within the building. Then I looked at what was originally my mother – I could see her wearing a long white dress, the back of her hair all blue, but it looked as though it were a part of her head...

"Mum!" I urgently called out, the thought hitting me that I may be different too. The figure turned around in a swift movement, clearly worried about my sudden tone. That's when I saw what the figure looked like. A red fin-like shape protruded from its chest, the ruby red eyes piercing into mine, the blue arms and the white dress which seemed to be the skin itself. It looked so much like a Gardevoir... surely this isn't my mother?!

It suddenly noticed that I could see all of this, this sudden realisation making it raise its arm towards my direction. My head began to ache as I felt an invisible force bury itself into my skull, penetrating my brain and racking my body in agony. I screamed out in pain, feeling myself fall onto the floor, my conscience slipping. Before I fell into a deep sleep, I heard a faint voice, just like my mothers, slip itself into my head.

"I'm sorry," it echoed.
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Last edited by Sealboy; 09-29-2012 at 10:39 AM.
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  #3  
Old 07-25-2011, 09:04 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Thank you for spacing it out.
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:12 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pe2k Voices View Post
Thank you for spacing it out.
I was working on making it look nice, so I wasn't finished when you probably looked at it xP
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Yeah. =D I understand. If anyone hopped on to my fan fic 2 days ago, they'd see an f'ed up mess because I was rearranging things. xD
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Old 07-26-2011, 09:24 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

From this weekend I'll be gone for two weeks, but I should be typing up some more chapters to this story. Anyone enjoying the Prologue so far? xP
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  #7  
Old 08-14-2011, 12:04 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

I know I haven't uploaded Chapter 1 yet, but I'll get there. I should have it done and dusted sometime this week.

(Technically not a double post as it's not done on the same day ;) )
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Old 08-14-2011, 04:19 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the prologue. It seemed really normal 'til the end. Then it just got really trippy and crazy. I can't wait to see why his mom turned out to be a Gardevoir!

But, I did notice a few things that kind of irked me. Just a few words that were capitalized that shouldn't have been.
  • Sun (It's only capitalized when naming other planets/celestial bodies in the same sentence. This applies to any other planet, like earth.)
  • Dining Room (Names of common types of rooms usually aren't capitalized)
  • Kitchen (Same as above)
  • Human (Usually species are in lowercase. Except for Pokemon, although some people change this rule in fan fiction, which is usually just writer's preference.)
  • Mother (I had a hard time with this one, too. When using it as a substitute for a person's name, it's supposed to be capitalized. If you're simply referencing your relationship to the person, leave it lowercase.
    So something like this would be capitalized: I wonder when Mother is going to get back.
    However, something like this wouldn't be: My mother is in her mid-thirties.)

It's not that I'm trying to be mean and nitpick, but I just want your story to look better, because I really am enjoying it. I look forward to Chapter One!
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  #9  
Old 08-14-2011, 11:02 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnetic_Zero View Post
I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the prologue. It seemed really normal 'til the end. Then it just got really trippy and crazy. I can't wait to see why his mom turned out to be a Gardevoir!

But, I did notice a few things that kind of irked me. Just a few words that were capitalized that shouldn't have been.
  • Sun (It's only capitalized when naming other planets/celestial bodies in the same sentence. This applies to any other planet, like earth.)
  • Dining Room (Names of common types of rooms usually aren't capitalized)
  • Kitchen (Same as above)
  • Human (Usually species are in lowercase. Except for Pokemon, although some people change this rule in fan fiction, which is usually just writer's preference.)
  • Mother (I had a hard time with this one, too. When using it as a substitute for a person's name, it's supposed to be capitalized. If you're simply referencing your relationship to the person, leave it lowercase.
    So something like this would be capitalized: I wonder when Mother is going to get back.
    However, something like this wouldn't be: My mother is in her mid-thirties.)

It's not that I'm trying to be mean and nitpick, but I just want your story to look better, because I really am enjoying it. I look forward to Chapter One!
Ah, I believe this is an issue I am beating out of myself... literally 0.0

Anyway, I completely understand the mistakes and the reasons as to why they are, and I think I may be able to avoid the same issue :D I'll get onto the editing tomorrow, most probably. :P Also, thank you for pointing these issues out! I love feedback :D

Much appreciated. I like to keep my readers interested in my writing, so I'm glad you enjoyed the prologue.

I hate how small Pe2k makes my posts look. What looks like quite a lot (a few A4 pages in 12 sized font) looks so small on this T_T Nevermind, I'll pull through xP
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Old 08-15-2011, 03:01 AM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by sealboyno1 View Post
Prologue



“Mum...” I called out, worry in my voice as negative thoughts began to ravage my mind.
Wouldn't really say that is calling out. It gives me more of the impression that he is muttering it or whispering it softly.
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Old 08-15-2011, 11:00 AM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pe2k Voices View Post
Wouldn't really say that is calling out. It gives me more of the impression that he is muttering it or whispering it softly.
Ah, I should have seen that Dx

Perhaps this would be more suitable?

Quote:
"Mum?" I called out, worry in my voice as negative thoughts began to ravage my mind.
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Old 08-15-2011, 11:17 AM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Much better. =D

Punctuation is the most difficult aspect for me, so I think you did a great job, nonetheless.
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Old 08-15-2011, 12:07 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pe2k Voices View Post
Much better. =D

Punctuation is the most difficult aspect for me, so I think you did a great job, nonetheless.
Haha, thank you. ^_^

Off to go and make those edits! *runs towards post and trips*
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Old 08-19-2011, 12:31 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Chapter I


Upon opening my eyes, an intense headache made itself known within my brain. Not only was my head in pain, but my body felt as if it had been pummelled a multiple amount of times and I felt extremely weary. I sighed, presuming that I must have had a rough time sleeping last night.

I noticed something different about my bedroom at that moment: the light was grey. Never in my life had I seen such a gloomy light cast itself into my room – it was always sunlight and the song of birds. This dreary colour was one I had never seen the sky emit, and this made me question my health; maybe I was coming down with something that affected the colour in my vision.

My head began to ache even more as I began to remember the dream I had last night; my mother had acted strangely, her reactions to my few questions throwing her off. Then there was the moment in which she had flickered from a human form into that of a Gardevoir, which had been a light blue colour rather than the usual emerald green of the species. Upon falling unconscious in the dream, I had woken up into this moment, I think, or I may have slept longer, the dream ending and my sleep continuing; I wasn't too sure.

As I made my way to the closed bedroom door, I felt small, shorter than I had been the other day. Or, was everything bigger than it had been? I was confusing myself, again pointing the cause to me feeling ill, or that I was coming down with something.

Upon opening the door (which seemed larger than it had usually been, although it was fairly easy to reach the handle), I noticed something else that seemed different: the walls weren't as they were yesterday. The colour was darker, more of a stale brown with nicks and scratches here and there. I frowned, wondering if my mother had done some decorating of some sort over the night; however, it would have taken more than a night to make a change as drastic as this.

I hobbled down the stairs, too preoccupied in thought to wonder why I found difficulty in climbing down the creaking, wooden steps. If I was ill, Mother would know what to do, she always did.

I stopped halfway down the stairs, suddenly feeling overcome with sadness, regret and guilt. I felt as if it was hitting me, wave after wave of negative emotions crashing into my body, threatening to pull me under and drown my soul; I felt as if I wanted to crawl up into a ball, to stay there until this 'storm' of emotions died down. The thing that puzzled me, while I sat on the step catching my breath, was that they weren't my emotions – almost as if they were somebody else's and I could sense them, feel them even.

Raising my hand to my head, trying to calm myself from this sudden attack of sorrow and anxiety, I felt something strange. My hair... it was gone! What I could feel was a hardened cap, a helmet rather – it felt as if it was a part of my skin! Reaching my hand up, my body filling with fear and worry, I felt a smooth horn-like structure protruding out from my forehead. I screamed.

*

Within a matter of moments, a Gardevoir had appeared at the bottom of the stairs, worry outlined on its face. I looked at it in fear and horror – what was happening?

“Akito, please calm down. I... I can explain all of this,” it informed me, the voice sounding just like my mother's. However, although usually very soothing, it made me panic even more. I slowly backed up to the step behind me, my heart beating quickly as I began to grow both afraid and confused.

“Who are you?” I cried out. Suspicions began to creep into my mind and, although I didn't want to hear it, I had the horrifying feeling that it would say...

“Your mother,” she announced with worry emanating from her voice, clearly afraid of what my reaction would be. I relaxed only slightly, still scared out of my mind; if she was my mother, she wouldn't harm me at all. She approached me very slowly, crouching down on the step below, so that the two of us were face to face. I saw a tear roll down her cheek as she reached her hand towards my head, rubbing it as she said the words, “I'm so sorry,” over and over again. I looked at her in confusion and, in reply, gulped hard. She stood up, making her way towards the bottom of the stairs. She beckoned me towards the table, implying that I take a seat. I followed, slowly, but cautiously. I was too confused to even guess what had happened, why we were different and why everything else had changed.

Sitting down on one of the worn-out chairs I looked up at what was, apparently, my mother. I waited in silence, expecting her to speak. She swallowed hard and looked at the wall to her left while she spoke, she never looked away from that wall, as if she couldn't look at me in the eyes.

“Everything, all that you have experienced as a human, has been...” she trailed off, the emotion of worry reaching itself out from her to me – it felt strange and uncomfortable. I stared at her, as if I was pushing her on to finish off her explanation. “Do you remember your tenth birthday?” she asked me, her topic changing, or so I believed. I stared at her blankly, my mind racing to try and find the memories; there were none. “Of course you wouldn't,” she said as she noticed my blank expression. She finally turned her head towards me, her eyes locked onto mine. Tears streamed down her face as she spoke, “ever since we started, past memories have had to have been erased, or you would have been harder to take out from the false reality. All that you have lived out as a human has been... the reality you lived within was fake. An illusion, created by me; your friends, family and this very house wasn't real... I'm so sorry,” she explained, trailing off as tears streamed down her face. I stared into space in disbelief as she sobbed.

*

Slowly, objects within the room began to lift up into the air; the table, the worn-out sofa, every item that wasn't rooted to the ground simply began to lift up. My mother jumped back, fear in her eyes as she realised what was happening. I stood, my hand clenched into a fist.

“My life... was a lie?” I asked, looking at her in question. “You were a lie... You were fake!” I stated, my voice level rising as I glared at my mother in anger. “I was fake! My life was a lie and everything around it!” I shouted, loud enough over the multiple sounds of cracking wood – the house itself beginning to move and, quite possibly, it could collapse in on itself. The objects within the room began to fly around, pummelling themselves into the walls, into the ceiling and then to the floor. Mother stepped back, fear racking her body and tears pouring down her face.

“They made me do it, it wasn't just me! They needed a child, and they chose you! I didn't want you to be used, to be-” I cut her off, the anger inside of me rising to a boiling point.

“-played like a puppet? You had the choice, you could have said 'no'!” I thrust my hand out towards my mother, a table leg reacting with the command – the piece of wood flew towards her direction. However, before the aerial weapon reached its target, a pink beam shot out and reduced it to splinters which fell to the ground in mid-flight. I turned towards the direction in which it had been generated from, ready to attack anyone without hesitation.

I saw two long mustard-coloured furry ends, resembling a moustache, on the mysterious figure that had generated the attack – saving my mother's life. Before I was able to react, I felt myself being thrown across the room by the same pink beam, landing into a wall. The wood cracked upon my impact, myself crying out in pain. I slumped to the ground, my consciousness slipping away for the second time that day.
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Last edited by Sealboy; 09-29-2012 at 10:59 AM.
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  #15  
Old 08-20-2011, 08:05 PM
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Default Re: Riddled with Lies

Feedback is much appreciated ^_^
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