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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1471  
Old 02-01-2011, 09:58 PM
Gem N Ems's Avatar
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
Originally Posted by k_pop View Post
Wooooow. Ok, so much happening.
First off, Virok. *razzberries* Don't like him. Haven't probably from his very first mention. >.> And lemme get this right, Rakai is working for him? Greaaat.
That was an interesting conversation too. Zanna was able to avoid the really deep questions pretty well. I would've been totally unnerved by him. Oh, and I caught that comment at her name. What did he mean by that? Hmm?
Of course, trouble follows her wherever she goes. Or...did she walk into it this time? *thinks* ... I dunno, whichever it is. She got into another fight, but at least she was able to use the Orb of Sorrow to get out of that one before it got too bad. (hehe, bet Virok won't be happy bout that) I felt bad for Maske though. That can't exactly be a great existence. One thing though, would a Feraligatr really have thousands of teeth? ^^' Oh, and Tali was definately left at a loss there, wasn't she? Might see Zanna differently too.
I can't imagine that Zanna's next encounter with Virok will be all that fun... >.>

Anyway, another excellent chapter. Nice job, sis. ^^
I did catch a couple typos that need wiped out.
Another typo killing session! 8D *stabs keyboard to correct*

I know! So much thrill, action, excitement! And stuff. xD I added a few parts in at the end that I originally wasn't going to, but I have something planned for them now.
Virok isn't meant to be the most likeable character in the story. Granted, he has his motives for what he's doing, I just think he's going about it the wrong way.
And yyyyeeesss! Rakai is working for Virok! I bet you all thought it was Deoxys, didn't you? It's okay, it was meant to be like that. X3 But experiementation with Dark Pokemon led Virok to create the Hunters, their claws laced with Shadow Poison. Cool, eh?

Nah, poor Feraligatr didn't get a choice. Well... none of them do, really. ^^; Most are devoid of emotion, but I guess some hang onto remnants of former selves, or lost memories or such. And I dunno, but when I imagined a Feraligatr I saw thousands of teeth, just like in a crocodile. XD Okay, maybe hundreds. I might tone it down a little.
I'm worried about Zanna, too. Though if you ask me, Tali and Rakai being in the same building can't have great consequences either. x.x

Thanks for reading, Grassy! Who knows, he might turn into an ally. =o

----------

In other news, I have decided to make a StormRiders Podcast. So if anyone has any questions they want to ask about the fic, I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability. xD
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Last edited by Gem N Ems; 02-01-2011 at 10:32 PM.
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  #1472  
Old 02-03-2011, 02:34 AM
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

All I can say is wow...that was a good chapter. Altogether amazing, describing the city and well, everything was amazing, I could really see it happening. :D

One thing, is Maske the Feraigatr who appeared in Rye's flashback? If I'm accurate here myself. *ponders*

I can't really think of anything else to say actually...I'm really at a loss for words about the chapter, but I'm glad I was able to read up to the halfway point of your story as well.

This is FadeThePikachu from DeviantArt by the way...
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  #1473  
Old 02-03-2011, 03:43 AM
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Ah man, I didn't know this had gotten updated until now!

Awesome chapter, seems like another storm is about to unfold and Zanna is going to find herself right smack in the middle of it... again. And Virok, yeah, something is definitely going on with him and I think we all share Zanna's hunches.

Anyway, I'm glad to see you're back into writing this again. Considering this had been on hiatus for over a year, its definitely making one hell of a comeback. Keep up the great work.
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  #1474  
Old 02-03-2011, 05:18 AM
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

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Originally Posted by FrozenPika View Post
All I can say is wow...that was a good chapter. Altogether amazing, describing the city and well, everything was amazing, I could really see it happening. :D

One thing, is Maske the Feraigatr who appeared in Rye's flashback? If I'm accurate here myself. *ponders*

I can't really think of anything else to say actually...I'm really at a loss for words about the chapter, but I'm glad I was able to read up to the halfway point of your story as well.

This is FadeThePikachu from DeviantArt by the way...
FADE. *glomps* 8D I didn't know you were reading! Always good to see readers.

Yeah! I pride myself on description. xD I'd describe more, but there is a point where one tends to overdo it. And yup, that was indeed the same Maske from Rye's flashback. He's been around for a while, eh? THANKS FOR READING.

----------

You should know by now, Neo, that Zanna is always in the middle of trouble. XD Poor thing. Anyway, this is where things get exciting (for me because I've wanted to get to this point for ages now). It's gonna be action-packed for a bit, so I hope no one wanted any lazy chapters! Hehehe.

I've been reading the Guardians of Ga'Hoole books again, and what do you know, they seemed to have inspired me something chronic. xD I'm now working on a few chapters at once as the ideas come - I figure it's better that way before I forget good points. Arceus only knew this story needed updates. XP
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  #1475  
Old 02-05-2011, 06:35 PM
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

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Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
[INDENT][FONT="Tahoma"]FADE. *glomps* 8D I didn't know you were reading! Always good to see readers.

Yeah! I pride myself on description. xD I'd describe more, but there is a point where one tends to overdo it. And yup, that was indeed the same Maske from Rye's flashback. He's been around for a while, eh? THANKS FOR READING.
Yep. :D

Man, I remember Maske from the flashback...that was brutal. Yeah, he sure has. You're welcome. :D
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  #1476  
Old 04-25-2011, 09:00 AM
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

So overdue...I'm sorry. ;____; Forgive my typos and whatnot, I just wanted to get something up. Short...ish chapter!


----------

Chapter 33;
...........................hauntings of distant memories


----------

Little more than a day had passed in this dream world, this alternate reality, but Rye somehow felt as if a lot more time were passing him by outside. The various encounters he had with his past had made him stronger. His resolution was growing tougher and his will to live had never been so vitally important. He knew now that he was not destined to die here.

The scenery had changed in hue and the sliver of a moon had appeared in the sky of the dream world. Rye took the quiet time to sit by the lake in silence, reflecting upon what had passed. He was sure another illusion would pop up sooner or later, but for now it was his time to ponder what else Darkrai had in store.

It seemed like an age since he’d seen Zanna. Last he had asked they were still heading towards the Missionary. Was she still going, or was she already there? His face paled at the thought. If Zanna was at the Missionary that meant she was in direct contact with his father, which was definitely not a good thing. If he was still experimenting with her, or continuing on with the project, then she was in danger. And he could not protect her. No one else knew. She was alone. No, that was not true. Even if she was in danger, she had Lani, Codan and Jarre to depend on. Those three he knew were good souls; Jarre a little less. She might be in trouble, but he had to hope they could get through it together.

Together…

Together was a word he had long since forgotten. Rye had always been by himself, even from such a young age. He knew little of the children he grew up with whilst training as a soldier, as his father had ordered him to be put in an advanced class apart from the others. He had not minded at first, as he loved the idea of being placed ahead of the rest. But this vain feeling soon grew into quiet contempt and loneliness. He had longed for the company of others to play with in his spare time, but it was forbidden. Rye was to train, train, train, until he was exhausted.

It was a saviour when a little Larvitar, Kryal, had taken an interest in the Elekid. Most Pokemon shied away from him because he was “special”, but this one treated him like any other Pokemon. They fought, played and trained together. Through Kryal, Rye got to know his sister, Eon, who was an exceptionally well-built soldier, if somewhat stubborn and brutal. He had admired her strong will to overcome barriers that others could not. And unlike Kryal, Eon might still be…alive.

She had not been seen since the night her brother had been killed and Rye was sure she had fled. Virok didn’t bother to hunt down a weakling and she was soon forgotten. Eon had not tried to contact Rye since that night, probably blaming him in part for her brother’s death. She would have been so traumatised by the thought.

The Elekid ran his paws over his face. To have a family member die. His own mother had passed away shortly after his birth. He was only five years old at the time. Her face used to be so vivid within his mind; kind, loving and caring. But now it was all faded and fuzzy – unclear. He could hardly remember what she looked like, or the brief times they had shared together. He was frightened. He loved his mother so much. To have her memory be taken away from him as if it hadn’t existed… He shook his head brusquely. No. It wouldn’t happen to him. However fuzzy the image got he would hold on to the remnants he had left. It was all he had left of his dear mother. How he missed her so…

~*~

“Rye, dear, come help me with this cake. It’s made especially for your father’s birthday!”

“Heh, why should I help you make that for him? Father never listens to me and he always says I must stay away from the other kids. But mother, I want to play with them! Why should I help make something so delicious for a horrible father like that?”

“Riley! You must never say such things about your father. I know he is a little…harsh, at times, but he loves you all the same. He loves you so much he doesn’t want to see you hurt by the others. Don’t worry, he’ll come around. I’ll even have a word with him. Now as for you, help me with the icing. If you do you can even lick the bowl!”

“Really, mum? Really?”

“Of course, dear. Anything for my darling Rye. The world is yours to shape.”


~*~

“Mother…” Rye felt the unfamiliar tingling of tears running down his face, mixing with his fur, but this time he did not care. The only thing he wanted was to see his mother again; the one who was snatched away from him all too soon. Her smile warmed his heart and was etched clearly within his mind. Her golden fur, soft and soothing. She had made everything better with just a simple touch and a whisper, as only a mother could. When she had left he had nothing to make it better; nothing to make his life seem worthwhile. If the world was his to shape, then why was she not in it? If it was his world she would never have left, but…

~*~

“Father…Why did mother have to leave? You said she had gone to the skies to watch us from the heavens. Is she really up there, father? Can I go see her?”

“Don’t be silly, boy! You can’t visit your mother because you do not belong in the skies. You belong with your feet firmly on the ground and I won’t lose another to the Lord. Not yet. You are the only thing in my life that has meaning. I won’t lose you, too.”

“Father…?”

“Mmm?”

“Mother said I was meant to ‘shape’ the world. That it was mine to shape. But if that was true…then why did she go? I would always want mother in my world.”

“Ahh, son. Sometimes things most dear to us are taken away. It is then that we find a way to better our future, shape our world with what we have left. And yours is only beginning, Rye. One day you shall lead this place and it will be yours to command.”

“But I don’t want to command it, I want mother back!”

“…Rye, listen to me. Your mother, she…is not coming back. You will see her again one day, but it is far from now. Just know that she loved you with all her heart. Do her proud.”

“I…I will. If it is what mother wanted.”


~*~

He had said he would make her proud. But what had he done so far that his mother would be proud of? He had nothing to show but a short temper and an ill-mannered mind. Certainly, he was a good lieutenant, but he doubted his mother would approve of spying and she definitely would not approve of what his father was doing. Had his mother passing corrupted him somehow? It was weeks before he would even look at Rye’s face, saying that it was too similar to Ameli’s. Eventually when he had, all he did was stare off into the distance, as if peering straight through him. He was invisible.

The only thing that his mother would possibly approve of was Zanna. He was sure the two would have gotten along like two berries on a branch. But there was no way to know now. He only knew that he had something worth protecting, as his mother had protected him. She had said one day he would know the feeling of giving one’s life for another. Rye thought he was finally beginning to understand. There was a bond that existed in this world which was tougher than steel, tougher even than diamonds that not even the mightiest foes could break. Darkrai could not break it. His shell may have been cast aside, but his heart was stronger than it had ever been. His mother was right. The world was his to shape and he would start by shaping this nightmare into a dream.

His resolve unbreakable, the Elekid rose to his feet immediately. If no ghosts of his past were going to appear before him, he might as well get some training in. No longer would he remain the weak boy he had been. No longer would he let his temper gain control. He would be the son his mother had always wanted and he would make her proud. With determination, the Elekid struck a nearby tree with a paw, his claws grinding deep into its surface. Sap oozed through his fur, but Rye merely turned his paw so his palm was facing the sky, causing the sap to glitter. Even in this world, life could still look beautiful.

It was as he was admiring the sap that the tree before him began to waver. The rough bark of the trunk thinned until it was translucent, and the scenery behind it could be seen. The branches themselves began to disappear, gaining a creamy golden hue. Rye raised an arm as a shield and took a step backwards. The tree before him was changing shape rapidly. He could almost guess who it would be this time.

After a few seconds a yellow figure had appeared before him. It bore bright blue eyes, a warm smile and wisps of golden fur. Rye did not call out to the figure but immediately fell to his knees. His ears picked up a gentle whooshing and then softness encased him. Rye felt warm paws caress his head as he was drawn towards the figure’s grasp. All the while he was too stunned to move. He was not afraid of it, but another kind of fear had settled within him. The fear of losing another.

“Shhhhh now,” the Electabuzz whispered into his ear. “I’m here.” Her voice was like honey. Never had it seemed so soothing to his ears. He missed that voice. Oh, how he wished he could have it stamped in his memory forever! He had all but forgotten the lilting tone it took, especially when talking to him.

“Mother…” Rye’s own voice paled in comparison. It was weak and filled to the brim with longing. He could be considered pathetic, but he did not care. His mother was here. His mother was here. “Mother!” The Elekid threw himself into his mother’s grasp, stifling sobs as he did so. “Mother I missed you!” And it was with that fact Rye suddenly felt his emotions move, sliding into place; the place they should have been in all along. With just one touch his mother had indeed made everything better.

“Riley,” the voice whispered again, soothing his silent sobs. “You’ve grown a lot in the time we’ve been apart.” She held him close as he glanced up at her, eyes wide with fear. “You’ve changed a lot, too,” she remarked. At this, Rye was still in control enough to draw himself free of her grasp and hang his head in shame.

“Not for the better, right?” he replied, disdain drenched in his tone.

“Riley…” His mother drew forward and cupped a hand under his chin, lifting his face to meet hers. “No matter what you have done, you have always made me proud. How could I be another but when my son is off fighting Deoxys?” She said it so calmly. So…kind. Rye was confused.

“But I’ve also betrayed everyone I knew! Kryal is dead!” – he hissed the word – “Eon is missing, I hurt Zanna terribly, and depending on the actions she takes I might have to harm my own father!” The Elekid’s chest heaved with deep breaths as he looked into his mother’s eyes. “I have not done a single thing to make you proud of me, not in my entire life. I’m sorry I could not be the son you wanted!” He shut his eyes tight, no longer able to glance at her. It hurt too much to know he had betrayed her. It hurt much more to know his own mother might not want him.

The figure remained silent, her hand still cupped under his chin. It was over a minute before Rye opened his eyes. She had not said a word, but had remained rooted. Now, when he looked at her, he could clearly see tears flowing silently down her face. His own heart panged with guilt at the fact he had caused these tears; tears that could mar something so beautiful. He truly felt ashamed.

“I…” He raised a paw in the hope of comforting her, but quickly withdrew it, not knowing how. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” That’s just another soul you’ve harmed, Rye, he scolded himself.

“Rye.” The voice was firm and forced the Elekid to stare. “You were always in the habit of being naïve, even as a child. I see you still haven’t grown out of it.” She smiled warmly. “There are events that happen within one’s life that cannot be controlled. There are those we regret, and wish we could have changed with all our heart. There are those, still, that have not happened. Those are the events we can do something about. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to dwell too much on the past. Have you seen, Rye, the effects of someone who dwells on the past? It is not a pleasant sight. Take your father, for example.

“Yes,” she answered Rye’s expression grimly, “he often blamed himself for my death. After a while his soul turned dark and twisted. I watched the entire time, even as he began creating Dark Pokemon, experimenting with their abilities. It was torment to see that happen. That your father thinks only darkness can defeat darkness is a mistake. Nothing good can come of tampering with that power. Only light can banish darkness, and that is why we have Light Pokemon.”

“You said,” Rye questioned, “that nothing good can come of tampering with dark powers. But I…I am now one of them. I am evil.” He had to swallow hard past the lump in his throat to speak. It was not a good feeling to admit to your own mother that you were an abomination; a scourge upon the world. But she merely shook her head.

“There are those that are born of darkness, in which they know nothing of light. You, Rye, were created and knew the light before you were tainted by darkness. This and this alone grants you the ability to use your powers for good. You are able to see both sides clearly and can choose the actions upon which you wish to react. If you wish to be dark, then so be it. If you wish to be the light, that too, is possible.”

“I never wanted to be dark!” Rye protested, clenching his paws. “With all my heart I want to feel the light within and act upon that. I must if I-” he stopped abruptly, glancing up at the figure of his mother.

“You wish to see Zanna again,” she guessed.

“How did you-”

“A mother’s intuition, I suppose,” she grinned warmly. “Yes, that Pikachu has a good soul. You could not have your sights set on someone better, Rye. I’m happy for you.” Rye felt his heart glow at the praise. The one thing in his life he had done right – and his mother was proud. “I only wish…that I could have spent more time with you,” he told her. “It was not right for you to be taken from me.”

“Little in this world is ever right, my dear.” The Electabuzz drew him close again, holding him fiercely. “But there is a time where you must create your own good in the world. I just want you to know that you have always made me proud, Rye. Your mistakes have been learning curves, but I have gained a son who is smart, kind, loyal and handsome,” she beamed, tousling his fur. “I know that whatever happens, and the choices you have to make, you will choose the right ones. Never in my life could I have asked for a better child than you.”

“Mother...” Rye felt the tears slide down his face again, before he widened his eyes in realisation. “Why does…why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye? You can’t leave me! Not again!” The Elekid, in an act of desperation, clutched tightly to his mother’s fur, but she was already beginning to fade.

“I’m sorry, Rye. I have found the resolve I needed to be able to rest peacefully. It is unfortunate, the little time we had together was not enough, and for that I am sorry. But I believe you can be everything you ever wished for. Remember when I told you the world is yours to shape?”

“Yes, mother! Yes, I do!”

The Electabuzz gazed at him with longing. “Then please, for me, shape your future into a world without darkness. Shape it into a world that you can be proud of.” She paused slightly as she began to drift off into the sky, translucency consuming her once more. “And if you truly love that Pikachu, as I know you do, for Arceus’ sake, tell her!”

“MOTHER!” Rye screamed into the air and reached out with a paw. He tried to grasp onto his mother’s but was struck with sorrow when it went straight through, causing him to stumble. “Don’t leave me! Mother!”

The Electabuzz looked at her son serenely, dissipating into the air. “I love you, Rye.”

Those were the last words he heard from her before she vanished.

~*~

Virok’s sleeping quarters were not too far ahead now. While I hated to disturb him when he was sleeping, it was absolutely necessary that I speak with him. He might have some idea what was going on in this place, because I sure didn’t. Danger seemed to follow me every step I took. I wanted nothing more than to stop it.

The door to the Commander’s quarters blazed a bright green. That surprised me; it was unlocked. I was certain he would be asleep, but I guess the racket from Maske’s attack had awoken him. I stepped up to the door anxiously and it slid open a split second before I passed through the sensor. My body slammed into a large, yellow leg as it came forward and halted.

“Ooowww…” Dazed, I stood back to peer up at Virok, who had exited the room the same time as I was about to enter. The Electivire’s eyes narrowed as they met mine, but almost at once they returned to a surprised glance.

“Zanna? What are you doing here this time of night? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” He seemed fidgety. Nervous. He made to brush me aside but I hopped into his way, reaching out a paw.

“Sir! There is trouble in the lower quarters – a Dark Pokemon attacked me!” I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, but for some reason the Commander was still trying hastily to get past me. This stopped his actions.

“A Dark Pokemon, you say?” An eyebrow rose ever so slightly.

I nodded. “Lani was hurt, but Tali has taken her to the Medical Wing. And I think… I think that it was Darkrai who sent it after me.” It was my main suspicion at this point. I had never actually ruled out the fact that Darkrai could control beings from where he was, even in the Underworld. Altair never said he couldn’t. For all I knew he could still be controlling mass armies of Dark Pokemon.

The arc of Virok’s eyes suddenly grew wider, apparently mocking me. “Darkrai? But, child, he is long dead and resides in the Underworld. How can he possibly send anything after you?”
His words rolled into silence. I was unsure, but it seemed as if Virok was hinting at something. Something… Something… And just like that it hit me. Darkrai may have been controlling Maske, but he hadn’t been the one to send him. Virok’s gaze that looked as if it was boring into my soul…

“You…” I whispered almost inaudibly. “You were the one who sent Maske after me.” Involuntarily, I took a step back. This time with fear.

Virok grinned. “He spoke his name, did he? Yes, he did. I know, for I was watching you the entire time.” The Electivire let off a brusque laugh as I took a further step back. “I had dear Rakai tap into the security systems. Maske was merely sent as a test, I don’t really care whether he dies or not. He’s served his purpose.” The wave of his hand only enraged me more.

[continued in next post]
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Last edited by Gem N Ems; 04-26-2011 at 06:57 AM.
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  #1477  
Old 04-25-2011, 09:12 AM
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Gem N Ems Offline
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Default Re: Pokemon: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Served his purpose? Is that all they are to you? Tools to be used?!” My cheeks sparked with electricity. I could not believe this. Here I had walked straight into another trap and I realised too late that Rye was right. His father was bad news and I should have stayed away. But I wanted so much to prove him wrong I dragged the others into danger with me. It was unforgivable. I was unforgivable.

“Of course they’re tools! What else would I make them for?” Virok continued. “I have a whole army of tools which I will soon employ to kill Deoxys. He is a threat and he must be eliminated. You Light Pokemon,” – he spat the words – “are too weak and powerless for the job. You can only heal for Arceus’ sake! How on earth can you ever hope to beat him!”

That surprised me. He knew I could heal… how? What else did he know? Did he know the other powers that I would gain? My strengths and weaknesses? Had the tracer worked after all? No, that wasn’t it. He’d been spying on me from the very start. Rakai had something to do with this, I knew it. And Tali… Oh no. I’d left her alone with Lani.

“You’re crazy!” I shouted up at the Electivire. “I need to go… I have to go help!” I panicked and turned to run, but a tight grip clamped down across my waist, pinning me to the spot.

“My dear Pikachu, you are going nowhere. You will see nothing. Except perhaps the inside of my dungeon.” He smirked. “Rakai is dealing with your friends as I speak. I expect the Buizel will be quite relieved to see him again.”

“Let me go!” I cried angrily, lashing out with electric attacks, but they were no use against Virok. He was the same type as I was; my weak attacks would have absolutely no effect. “Lani, Tali!” I cried. Too late had I seen the warning, now I would pay the price.

~*~

Halfway to the medical wing and Tali was beginning to regret she had agreed to haul Lani there. The Houndoom was heavier than she looked, and even with the help of her powers it was still a strain. The Buizel set the Houndoom down and panted. “I sure hope that Pikachu knows what she’s doing,” she muttered haughtily.

She didn’t trust Zanna, not like Dash did. Then again, she was never quick to trust these days. How could she? After everything she had known was torn apart… How could she trust anyone ever again? Shaking the thoughts aside, Tali sighed and prepared to set off once more.

“Tali. Fancy seeing you here.”

Her ears pricked instantly and the Buizel raised her head. No, it can’t be.

The Weavile in front of her grinned, guessing her thoughts. “Aye, but it is. I’ve long awaited for your return, my dear.”

Tali’s eyes widened and wavered ever so slightly. “R-Rakai…” She barely had a clear thought in her head. This was the one who had caused all her pain. This was the one whom she hated with her entire being. And yet…

The Buizel immediately forsook Lani’s side and bounded over to Rakai, grasping him tightly around the waist. “Rakai, I missed you so much!” She was proud, but not proud enough to stop the tears from flowing. It was all like a dream. She had waited so long for this. So long.

Rakai held a paw to her head, resting it lightly and tousling her fur. “I am sorry, Tali. There were things I had to do; things that called to me.”

“Why?!” Tali took a sudden step back and screamed. “Why did you leave?! You said you’d never leave me! But you were just like the rest! Worthless and weak and scum! I should never have trusted you, NEVER!” She inched forward and struck out with a paw. The blow connected to Rakai’s chest directly, for he failed to move to the side. The Weavile just withstood the attack and grunted, which caused the Buizel to grow even angrier. “TO HELL WITH YOU!” She struck out again and again, each time her paws thumping weaker against his chest. The Weavile bore it. “ARGH!” This time when she aimed for Rakai’s face he caught her paw mid-strike. Tali gasped in surprise.

“That’s quite enough of that,” Rakai said with firm conviction. He pulled her in and sealed her mouth with his in one brief stroke.

Tali, who was still infuriated, felt the anger ebbing away at the contact. She felt herself melt into his arms again, as she once had done a lifetime ago, when things were different. When she was different. Happy and bubbling and carefree. But this…This was a lie. And I will never forgive myself.

Tali broke from the contact and drew away, gasping and hurt. She wiped a paw across her mouth deftly. “You don’t love me,” she hissed with poison. “You can’t anymore.”

Shock flitted across Rakai’s face, and he tried a hurt expression. “My dear, that stings. Of course I adore y-”

But the Weavile was cut off as Tali’s paw slashed across his face, this time with fierce impact. Rakai doubled back from the blow and snarled. “You’re going to wish you’d never done that.”

Heart pounding, the Buizel readied for a counter attack, pleading with her thoughts to leave her alone. He does not love me, he does not love me, he can’t love me, she repeated to herself firmly. He is tainted now; whatever was left of his heart is long gone. Long…gone.

Another tear slid down her cheek and she whisked it away with a paw. Now was no time to be sappy and sentimental. This Weavile deserved to pay. Most of all for kissing her like that! THE NERVE!

Tali lunged and Rakai dodged, anticipating her attack. She was too slow; she’d have to gain speed. Using agility, she lunged again, but again Rakai dodged. To outsiders it would have seemed like a dance the two were having, but it was a deadly serenade.

“Oh my,” Rakai crooned, “how slow you have gotten!” He let out a harsh laugh as Tali struck out once, twice, three times. None made contact, however.

“Stay still so I can strike, you coward!” Tali taunted. But she was breathing way too hard – anger had taken hold over her mind. Red hot, seething anger.

Rakai was as cool as could be. He dodged the Buizel’s attacks with ease, though never seeming to strike back. He withstood her assault. And when Tali halted to regain her breath, the Weavile was upon her in an instant. He knocked her to the ground with a paw and raised a foot, sliding it across her stomach and pinning her in place.

Tali gasped, breathless, unable to move an inch. “G-get off me!” she wheezed.

Rakai lowered his gaze to hers with a smirk, but his eyes – once glaring and vicious – seemed to have softened. “Tali. Please understand that I did what I had to do for our safety. It was the only way.”

“Our safety?” Tali spat with such ferocity Rakai’s foot wavered. “There was no ‘our’ involved! It was always you, Rakai. You and you alone. If you were so concerned about me, then how come you ignored me all those times I tried to talk to you? How come you never once told me what was going on? You never shared anything with me! After all that, am I supposed to trust you now? AM I?”

“No.” It was not a threat, but a fact. Rakai knew that even now Tali would not trust him, nor would she believe a word he said. He may be dark, but there was still shame that resided in his heart for the way he had treated the one he once loved.

“So then…what?” Tali stared up at the Weavile curiously. If he was not here to fight, then what was he doing here? “What do you want!?”

Rakai remained still, a stone-cold expression staring down at her. With a sigh, he lifted his foot off her and turned. “I would have died to protect you.” The words came out in a whisper. “I was willing to offer my life to those I protected. I am what I am because there was no other choice. To stop Deoxys we all had to become stronger. This was the price I had to pay.” The Weavile arched his head round an inch, locking eyes with the shocked Buizel. “I am sorry…Truly.”

Tali’s eyes wavered, her heart pounded. “Ra…kai-” But her words were cut short as the Weavile deftly picked her up with a claw. She was too stunned to utter a sound, least of all fight back.

“I would have died to protect you…”

Tali closed her eyes with sorrow, not wishing for the Weavile to see the tears that slipped down her fur as he walked off with her thrown over his shoulder. Rakai, what have you become?

In all the confusion she was dimly aware that Lani’s body was getting further and further away, and that several pairs of red eyes were now surrounding them.

~*~

A creak greeted them as they entered a dark room. A cage. The walls were stripped and bare. Unlike the cool marble surfaces of the halls above, the dungeon was cased in stone bricks dripping with ice.

The Weavile steered Tali into the cage and tossed her upright, pushing her to the ground. She struggled to stay upright and not crash into the wall as Rakai slid the cell door shut behind him. When she found her balance, all she could do was stare at the Weavile. He caught her gaze but remained expressionless.

In the turmoil, Tali had cut her paw. It was now Rakai lowered his eyes to the bright red gash which she fondled cautiously. That was all he did, however, and turned without a word. Tali was furious.

“Is that it?! Are you just going to leave again?!” The cry of her anguished voice echoed off the walls, combining with the crash of the gate as she grasped the bars firmly.

The Weavile halted and paused. When he turned to her his face was savage. “I never left!” he snarled, grasping her paws with such force Tali yelped in surprise. “I haven’t left! I am still here protecting-”

“STOP!” Tali shook Rakai away, falling back to the ground. “Stop saying…that you’re still here. You haven’t been here in a long time, Rakai. I think I’ve known that but I never wanted to admit it. I always thought there would be a time when I could be with you again, and things would be like they used to. I now know that it will never happen…the future I had been fighting for won’t happen. And, Rakai, that scares me...”

The Weavile was panting hard with rage, but he was looking at her with an odd look. Remorse? Shame? Tali found she could not speak another word. Her courage had abandoned her. She had admitted she was scared. She had tossed aside her pride and admitted it. She felt so…so fragile. Especially now under Rakai’s gaze.

But the Weavile merely stared at Tali with a quiet contempt. His face now held a smirk not unlike her own, she noticed. When he next opened his mouth it was not to belittle her, or to cry out with rage. “If things had been different, the situation now might be, too. For what it is worth, I really did miss you…Taliana. I really did try to protect you.”

Tali’s eyes widened. The words from his mouth had stunned her, in particular, the use of her full name. She was better known as Tali these days. Indeed, many had forgotten it was not her birth-name. But Rakai had never forgotten it. For a split second the Buizel let down her guard, a tear sliding down her cheek.

The Weavile turned almost instantly, so she was unable to see if he’d noticed. She didn’t care. What did it matter to him now if he made her cry? So she was silent as he strode up the stairs, only to break into a million pieces when his shadow had disappeared from her sight once more.
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  #1478  
Old 04-25-2011, 10:55 PM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Oh my 0o' Zanna, quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into. Arguably, I believe even Skye would have reacted the same way...So your anger is just. No one should be used.


Poor Rye. At least his mother was able to talk to him and finally rest in peace. She is right about light and darkness...But I believe that even for those born in darkness, like Maske, they can find their way into the light too.


And Tali! Wow. I feel bad for her now. Even Rakai...He did what he thought was right, and still cares for her. He may be darker, but he still loves her. Throwing her in a cage...He probably did it to protect her from the "red eyes" around Lani.
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Old 04-26-2011, 12:04 AM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
Oh my 0o' Zanna, quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into. Arguably, I believe even Skye would have reacted the same way...So your anger is just. No one should be used.


Poor Rye. At least his mother was able to talk to him and finally rest in peace. She is right about light and darkness...But I believe that even for those born in darkness, like Maske, they can find their way into the light too.


And Tali! Wow. I feel bad for her now. Even Rakai...He did what he thought was right, and still cares for her. He may be darker, but he still loves her. Throwing her in a cage...He probably did it to protect her from the "red eyes" around Lani.

I dislike Virok. >( He's one of those guys that wants things done no matter what the cost. Zanna isn't like that and wants to do things right, of course she'd be angry. PEOPLE OR POKEMON ARE NOT TOOLS. /rant

Originally I wasn't going to have her appear, but then it was for the better. Poor Rye seeing his mother again after such a long time. And even thinking that he would hate him because of what he'd become. Such a naive kid. xD

Yeah, Tali. And Rakai. And Tali. xD I wrote part of the chapter and where I made Rakai darker than he was shown here, then I went back and edited it. He's dark but, like Rye, he still has a side that remembers his former self; he isn't like Scythe, who has no memory of what she was before she was turned.

I wanted to get to that part for a while. In the next chapter it explains a lot more about their history and things in the Missionary before it all started to collapse, so...more of a filler chapter? ^^; Regardless, I'm still looking forward to writing it. And thanks for reading!
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  #1480  
Old 04-26-2011, 05:05 AM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Another wooow from me.
Poor Rye, still stuck in that dreamworld, but he's not being plagued by terrors right now, gaining something from it.
And Zanna seems to have walked into trouble...again. ^^; Hopefully, she finds a way out of it too. And where's Jarre and the others? That Torchic's not gonna be happy when he finds out what's been happening. *shakes head*
And the other heartbreaker of this chapter, Tali and Rakai. What a horribly twisted situation they have gotten into. I wonder what she'll think when she sees what's happened with Zanna and Rye. Will probably seem familiar.
*sighs* Well, you may have rushed it, but it's still part of your awesome storytelling. Will be waiting for the next one.

And I caught a couple of your typos from rushing. All from the first post though. ^^'

Quote:
Through Kryal, Rye got to know his sister, Eon, who was an exceptionally well soldier, if somewhat stubborn and brutal.
Well what? oO Hehe, you didn't finish the adjective there.

Quote:
That is was mine to shape.
Think that should be it.

Quote:
The rough bark of the trunk thinned until it was opaque, and the scenery behind it could be seen.
Quote:
She paused slightly as she began to drift off into the sky, opaqueness consuming her once more.
Can't see through opaque. Think you're looking for transparent and translucence there? ^^'
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  #1481  
Old 04-26-2011, 06:49 AM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
Originally Posted by k_pop View Post
Another wooow from me.
Poor Rye, still stuck in that dreamworld, but he's not being plagued by terrors right now, gaining something from it.
And Zanna seems to have walked into trouble...again. ^^; Hopefully, she finds a way out of it too. And where's Jarre and the others? That Torchic's not gonna be happy when he finds out what's been happening. *shakes head*
And the other heartbreaker of this chapter, Tali and Rakai. What a horribly twisted situation they have gotten into. I wonder what she'll think when she sees what's happened with Zanna and Rye. Will probably seem familiar.
*sighs* Well, you may have rushed it, but it's still part of your awesome storytelling. Will be waiting for the next one.

And I caught a couple of your typos from rushing. All from the first post though. ^^'



Well what? oO Hehe, you didn't finish the adjective there.



Think that should be it.





Can't see through opaque. Think you're looking for transparent and translucence there? ^^'
Bleh, thanks for catching those, Kris. xD And yes, I meant translucent. I keep putting opaque in it's place and forgetting its a solid thing. >.<

I think I really need to put in a couple of happy moments soon because everything I've written so far seems very, very sad. xD Thanks for reading!
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  #1482  
Old 05-08-2011, 03:11 AM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
“I did[/I] not [I]forget,”
It seems weird that you would have the emphasised word not in italics. I would suggest bolding it instead of un-italicising. :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
- You’re late, or did you forget again?”

- “Say whatever you like, you know you love me!”

- Who cared anyway, I’d just get him back later.
All these three sentences should have replacements for where the commas sit. The first one could pass as okay if "You're late" is a question as well as "or did you forget again", but if it was a statement then it needs to be a period instead of a comma. The second sentence needs to have a semicolon instead of a comma. The third one needs to be a question mark, since "Who cared anyway" is a question.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
The one that meant I was in trouble.“Look, it wasn’t me who did anything this time.
There needs to be a space between the period and the opening quotation mark.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
“But Zanna, it wasn’t your fight to begin with.
There should be a comma after 'But'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
“Just don’t be too long, they need their rest.”
Because there's no joining word to connect these two fragments of this sentence, a comma cannot be used. It should be a period or a semicolon.

NEXT POST.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
The Houndoom ‘s gaze narrowed as she looked me over.
There's a space between 'Houndoom' and the apostrophe and s. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
And what better time than to go unseen than in the dead of night in a sewer.
That's a question without a question mark!

Interesting... I liked looking into Zanna's past, and I'm curious about Hawk. I was happy to see Cody again, as I wondered if he'd ever again show, and I definitely think the kidnappings are linked to the pokemon world. I reckon it could have something to do with Xatu/Jirachi selecting humans to become light pokemon or saviours or whatever, although they fail and aren't adequate, so they're sent back. I think it's a shame they lose their memories, but then again, it's expected, I suppose. But yeah. I'll keep reading. :3 For some reason I don't have much else to say. xD Apart from that I'm curious about Tali's bands and what Altair is going to do. o: If I manage to finish the next chapter before you post, I'll just edit this post. :3

CHAPTER 32.

AHH I JUST TYPED UP MY REPLY TO THIS CHAPTER AND HAD TYPOS AND COMMENTS AND AGH...I lost it. .__. Oh well. I'll retype it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
The Gallade closest to me held its arm out to the side and a green leaf-blade spear materialised into view, blocking my path.
You would think that Zanna would know all gallade are males, and therefore this gallade is a he and not an it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
The Gallade merely glanced down at the two dogs and nodded.
Since Zanna used to be human, I guess it would make sense for her to compare a leafeon and a glaceon with dogs, but I suggest being careful about which character compared what pokemon with which animal--that is, if you don't have animals in your pokemon worlds. I would suggest 'dog-like pokemon', since stating outright that they are dogs is incorrect, after all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
leaving me alone to stare at the empty spot where the Ralts had been, and wondering what on earth those two Marowak wanted from it.
Again with the gender thing--sorry to be picky. But Zanna still perceives the ralts as an it after the marowak stated she was female, and I would also imagine that Zanna would be able to distinguish between male and female pokemon, even it it was just by their voices.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
“And Rakai… this time things will not go wrong.”

Remember that when characters address each other, there almost always needs to be a comma before their names.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
“Enough of this, you should proceed to your sleeping quarters, child, there is much to discuss tomorrow about the upcoming battle.”
There should be a period or semicolon after 'child'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
- “Now Zanna, dear,” she purred,
- “Why Rakai,” Virok lowered his voice to a whisper and laced it with ice.

Here and here need to have commas before the names too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
I let loose another thunderbolt, singing every scale upon the Feraligatr’s body.
Unless it was a very melodic attack, it is supposed to be 'singeing'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
I cringed, covering my ears with my paws. Leer!
I find it odd that leer is portrayed as hearing-affecting, when it's supposed to be a glare. o.o

NEXT POST.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
Slowly, yet cautiously, I removed the orb from his presence. The glowing dimmed and the Dark Pokemon let loose a heavy gasp of air, crumpling on the floor. Unconscious.
“Darkrai,” I said at once. As soon as the name left my lips, I knew it was true. “Darkrai is his maker.”
You forgot to separate these paragraphs.

I feel kinda sorry for the feraligatr. D: Although the whole Dark pokemon thing reminds me of something in my story, and I hope I didn't unconsciously copy anything from you. xD I doubt I did, however, considering I don't think I knew about Dark pokemon when I created the thing I'm talking about. Plus, they're different anyway. I kinda like Virok. I don't know why; I think I find him interesting, and I like how he's portrayed. I also wonder what happened to Ameli. I also like that name. xD I'm also wondering how Jarre, Dash and Codan are going. I kinda forgot why they had to go another way, but I assume they'll arrive soon. :3

It's funny, because the situation with the marowak and the ralts reminded me of a scene in TtEoaF. xD The whole deal of the ralts being the victim, the main character (who has a type disadvantage) who stands up for her and the ground type perpetrator(s). xD But yeah. :P Halfway point, hey? Makes me wonder what's going to happen between now and the end. And it makes me wonder how much longer TtEoaF will go for. :P

Anyway, I'll get to more reading. :P

~GS.
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  #1483  
Old 05-08-2011, 10:05 AM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
It seems weird that you would have the emphasised word not in italics. I would suggest bolding it instead of un-italicising. :3
Nope. In actual books you will often find an emphasised word in an italicised sentence remains as normal text. I don't think I've seen a single bolded word in a novel where italics were used. xD But thanks for the suggestion.
Quote:
All these three sentences should have replacements for where the commas sit. The first one could pass as okay if "You're late" is a question as well as "or did you forget again", but if it was a statement then it needs to be a period instead of a comma. The second sentence needs to have a semicolon instead of a comma. The third one needs to be a question mark, since "Who cared anyway" is a question.

I think the second might work better with a dash. As for the others, I'll think about it.


Quote:

There needs to be a space between the period and the opening quotation mark.
Oh, looks like I backspaced too far. XD

Quote:
Because there's no joining word to connect these two fragments of this sentence, a comma cannot be used. It should be a period or a semicolon.

*shrugs* I have a comma fetish? xD I'll change it to a period.

Quote:
NEXT POST.

There's a space between 'Houndoom' and the apostrophe and s. xD
Oh. Oops. =x


Quote:
That's a question without a question mark!
Indeed it is.


Quote:
Interesting... I liked looking into Zanna's past, and I'm curious about Hawk. I was happy to see Cody again, as I wondered if he'd ever again show, and I definitely think the kidnappings are linked to the pokemon world. I reckon it could have something to do with Xatu/Jirachi selecting humans to become light pokemon or saviours or whatever, although they fail and aren't adequate, so they're sent back. I think it's a shame they lose their memories, but then again, it's expected, I suppose. But yeah. I'll keep reading. :3 For some reason I don't have much else to say. xD Apart from that I'm curious about Tali's bands and what Altair is going to do. o: If I manage to finish the next chapter before you post, I'll just edit this post. :3

CHAPTER 32.

AHH I JUST TYPED UP MY REPLY TO THIS CHAPTER AND HAD TYPOS AND COMMENTS AND AGH...I lost it. .__. Oh well. I'll retype it.
Quote:
You would think that Zanna would know all gallade are males, and therefore this gallade is a he and not an it.
Uh, yeah. I don't think of these things when I write. xD


Quote:
Since Zanna used to be human, I guess it would make sense for her to compare a leafeon and a glaceon with dogs, but I suggest being careful about which character compared what pokemon with which animal--that is, if you don't have animals in your pokemon worlds. I would suggest 'dog-like pokemon', since stating outright that they are dogs is incorrect, after all.
Eeeehhh...I think it's okay to say that they are dogs. After all, they are, as you said, dog-like Pokemon. In essence, I'm just leaving dog-like off the end. xD And Zanna is a rat. Well, mouse. I think it's fine to say that. Your opinion might vary, though.


Quote:
Again with the gender thing--sorry to be picky. But Zanna still perceives the ralts as an it after the marowak stated she was female, and I would also imagine that Zanna would be able to distinguish between male and female pokemon, even it it was just by their voices.
Again, I don't think when I write. xD Me needs to sharpen my editing skills, methinks.


Quote:
There should be a period or semicolon after 'child'.
Yup, there should.

Quote:
Here and here need to have commas before the names too.

Not all instances where a word and name is used is there need for a comma. And I am pretty picky.


Quote:
Unless it was a very melodic attack, it is supposed to be 'singeing'.

Oh, yes. XD SINGEING.

Quote:
I find it odd that leer is portrayed as hearing-affecting, when it's supposed to be a glare. o.o
...IT IS NOT A ROAR, NO. Good point. xD


Quote:
NEXT POST.

You forgot to separate these paragraphs.
...I hate Word.


Quote:
I feel kinda sorry for the feraligatr. D: Although the whole Dark pokemon thing reminds me of something in my story, and I hope I didn't unconsciously copy anything from you. xD I doubt I did, however, considering I don't think I knew about Dark pokemon when I created the thing I'm talking about. Plus, they're different anyway. I kinda like Virok. I don't know why; I think I find him interesting, and I like how he's portrayed. I also wonder what happened to Ameli. I also like that name. xD I'm also wondering how Jarre, Dash and Codan are going. I kinda forgot why they had to go another way, but I assume they'll arrive soon. :3

It's funny, because the situation with the marowak and the ralts reminded me of a scene in TtEoaF. xD The whole deal of the ralts being the victim, the main character (who has a type disadvantage) who stands up for her and the ground type perpetrator(s). xD But yeah. :P Halfway point, hey? Makes me wonder what's going to happen between now and the end. And it makes me wonder how much longer TtEoaF will go for. :P

Anyway, I'll get to more reading. :P

~GS.
Oh, uh, it doesn't really worry me none if you have something like that in your story. xD I'm sure many stories have things relating to Dark Pokemon. Oooohh, you like Virok? That's funny because I hate him. XD So focused on killing Deoxys he's willing to sacrifice the city and the Pokemon in it just to do so. It was a take off 'Amelia' and I like that name. xD Spur of the moment name. I'm finding it harder to think of good names and I wonder how I ever came up with the main ones. XD They split up in case Deoxys came to attack. You know, if one group was captured another would still be alright. That and they thought it would be faster to travel as two groups rather than a big one.

Hopefully the rest of the story will be fairly interesting so I can keep you occupied. xD Though I've taken a little break (yet again) to catch up with Uni stuff. Once June rolls around I should be back into writing mode again. I have the words in mind, but not the patience, ehe. ^^;
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  #1484  
Old 05-08-2011, 12:34 PM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
Nope. In actual books you will often find an emphasised word in an italicised sentence remains as normal text. I don't think I've seen a single bolded word in a novel where italics were used. xD But thanks for the suggestion.
That's weird. :P If I ever publish a book, I'm going to bold it. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
I think the second might work better with a dash. As for the others, I'll think about it.
What's to think about? I'm telling you the correction. xD

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Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
*shrugs* I have a comma fetish? xD I'll change it to a period.
Not a fetish. You just use them instead of semicolons/periods. o:

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Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
Eeeehhh...I think it's okay to say that they are dogs. After all, they are, as you said, dog-like Pokemon. In essence, I'm just leaving dog-like off the end. xD And Zanna is a rat. Well, mouse. I think it's fine to say that. Your opinion might vary, though.
Hey, I'm offering my view. I wouldn't call a dog a fox just because it looks like one.

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Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
Again, I don't think when I write. xD Me needs to sharpen my editing skills, methinks.
I think you're taking these corrections too personally. o: I'm just pointing them out. You don't need to justify yourself; everyone makes mistakes. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
Not all instances where a word and name is used is there need for a comma. And I am pretty picky.
Which is why I said that it's when a character addresses another. Should I just stop these corrections and stick to the literal typos?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumori Gem View Post
Oh, uh, it doesn't really worry me none if you have something like that in your story. xD I'm sure many stories have things relating to Dark Pokemon. Oooohh, you like Virok? That's funny because I hate him. XD So focused on killing Deoxys he's willing to sacrifice the city and the Pokemon in it just to do so. It was a take off 'Amelia' and I like that name. xD Spur of the moment name. I'm finding it harder to think of good names and I wonder how I ever came up with the main ones. XD They split up in case Deoxys came to attack. You know, if one group was captured another would still be alright. That and they thought it would be faster to travel as two groups rather than a big one.

Hopefully the rest of the story will be fairly interesting so I can keep you occupied. xD Though I've taken a little break (yet again) to catch up with Uni stuff. Once June rolls around I should be back into writing mode again. I have the words in mind, but not the patience, ehe. ^^;
Yeah, I just thought it was funny since I realised similarities. :P Doesn't bother me either. Well, not that I like him as such, because I know he's a sicko, but more that I find him interesting. Yeah, most of my characters have spur of the moment names. Only ones I plan or the recurring ones have preconceived ones. Ah, I see.

It's fine. I haven't posted a chapter in, like, months. Stuff to do, dwindling motivation, other stories, etc.

~GS.
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 05-08-2011 at 12:43 PM.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:49 AM
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Default Re: Team StormRiders [PG-13] [Gold; Best Pokemon Author; MotY'10]

Quote:
That's weird. :P If I ever publish a book, I'm going to bold it. xD
That's cool. To each their own, eh? xD


Quote:
What's to think about? I'm telling you the correction. xD
Well, yeah, kinda. And I get what you're saying. But I don't have to use a semi-colon or whatever in every instance like that. I think it depends on the person/editor for books. What I've seen is in some books a person will use a semi-colon/dash etc. and others won't. Personal preference, I guess. xD


Quote:
Not a fetish. You just use them instead of semicolons/periods. o:
Indeed I do. xD


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Hey, I'm offering my view. I wouldn't call a dog a fox just because it looks like one.
Yup, I know, I got it. It's just that in my view I think I would use the word dog. Considering they are dog-like creatures. I'm giving my Pokemon knowledge to know what animals are. xD There are regular bugs and stuff in Talzere, too.


Quote:
Which is why I said that it's when a character addresses another. Should I just stop these corrections and stick to the literal typos?
Nope, it's okay. Did I miss that part? xD Sorry.


Quote:
Yeah, I just thought it was funny since I realised similarities. :P Doesn't bother me either. Well, not that I like him as such, because I know he's a sicko, but more that I find him interesting. Yeah, most of my characters have spur of the moment names. Only ones I plan or the recurring ones have preconceived ones. Ah, I see.

It's fine. I haven't posted a chapter in, like, months. Stuff to do, dwindling motivation, other stories, etc.
So much stuff to do and writing has to come second. *sigh* ;_____;
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