Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing » Author's Corner

Author's Corner Share your ideas with other members and come here for helpful writing tips.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 12-22-2010, 06:22 PM
shaymingirl1 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7
Default Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

“Mollie get up now your going to be late.” I sleepily replied, “But mum its Saturday.” My mum replied, “No Mollie its Monday and you need to get up now or your going to be late for your first day in Boarding school.” I then replied, “ But mum you know that I don't want to go to boarding school, “My mum then shouted, “Well you have to, there’s no other choice it is the best school to teach you to be a Pokemon master, and you can make some new friends, now get dressed your going to be late. I replied, “Ok fine I give in I will go.” I then got dressed into the Uniform, a White polo shirt with the logo that said Pokemon high then a picture of a Pikachu. Also a Blue skirt with tights and simple black shoes. I brushed my long golden hair and tied it into a ponytail, and put in my bright blue hair clip. I then ran downstairs.

what do u think???? also need new characters heres the oc list
Name: (Full name)
Age: (Please can they be as young as possible lets say, 10-16)
Pokemon Team of 6: (New ones are used but no fakes or made up please) also 4 moves per Pokemon.
Appearance: (Hair, eyes ect)
Style and clothing, (Emo, Goth, Nerd) For clothing would like a outfit they regularly wear accessories as well. Also if Pokemon coordinator one outfit for that please with accessories.
Talents: (Any certain talents)
Personality (Please make as detailed as possible)
Evil or good: (If evil list what team in)
Extra Info (B-days? Habits? Fears, likes, dislikes)
Family, (Mum, Sis Bro Aunt Uncle)
Where do they live: (Made up towns allowed)
Personal Traits: (Are they Quiet, Nieve, ect)
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-22-2010, 06:51 PM
Teddiursa of the Sky's Avatar
Teddiursa of the Sky Offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Terseland.
Posts: 3,068
Send a message via Skype™ to Teddiursa of the Sky
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

Hopefully this one won't be blocked for no apparent reason.
__________________
Latest Test/Work in Production:
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-22-2010, 07:00 PM
shaymingirl1 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

Quote:
Originally Posted by TitaniumAnimations View Post
Hopefully this one won't be blocked for no apparent reason.
why were the others deleted thats just mean im new its harsh u know what i mean
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-22-2010, 07:02 PM
Teddiursa of the Sky's Avatar
Teddiursa of the Sky Offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Terseland.
Posts: 3,068
Send a message via Skype™ to Teddiursa of the Sky
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

I don't know why, but recently the moderators have been working to keep us all safe and unharmed from spam and the rest of the horrible things from the internetz.

Anyway, look pretty promising and can't wait for this new piece to come out!
__________________
Latest Test/Work in Production:
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-22-2010, 07:32 PM
shaymingirl1 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

Quote:
Originally Posted by TitaniumAnimations View Post
I don't know why, but recently the moderators have been working to keep us all safe and unharmed from spam and the rest of the horrible things from the internetz.

Anyway, look pretty promising and can't wait for this new piece to come out!
oh the edited one by neo pikachu plus a little bit i added
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-22-2010, 07:33 PM
shaymingirl1 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

Quote:
Originally Posted by TitaniumAnimations View Post
I don't know why, but recently the moderators have been working to keep us all safe and unharmed from spam and the rest of the horrible things from the internetz.

Anyway, look pretty promising and can't wait for this new piece to come out!
“Mollie, get up now, you’re going to be late!” My mother exclaimed, once again trying to wake me up from what was a peaceful and relaxing sleep.

“But mum, it’s Saturday,” I replied to her, still feeling sleepy.

“No, Mollie, it’s Monday and you need to get up now or you’re going to be late for your first day in boarding school,” She debated, obviously reminding me of how carelessly I had forgotten which day of the week it was.

Still, she knew how I didn’t want to go to boarding school. I hadn’t been looking forward to this either, not sure of what even to expect once I got there. I figured if I tried resisting long enough, I might just convince her this whole thing wasn’t worth either of our time.

"But mum, you know that I don't want to go to boarding school," I told her, keeping my head firmly on the soft pillow.

“Well, you have to, there’s no other choice,” She told me, insistent on trying to get me up and going. “It is the best school to teach you to be a Pokémon master, and you can make some new friends. Now get dressed, you’re going to be late.”

I figured it was pointless to try and resist at this stage. In truth, if I had given up on this opportunity before I had even started, I was probably going to be kicking myself later on. Besides, it couldn’t have been all that bad. It wasn’t like I had been convicted and was now being sent off to jail, right?

“Okay, fine, I give in,” I told her with a sigh, throwing the bed sheets aside as I turned to get out of bed and get back on my feet. “I’ll go.”

I was still a little tired, but I figured once I got moving around, I’d probably shake that off. Happy that she had won against me yet again in the battle of the morning wake up call, she left the room, and I quickly got to changing into my new school uniform, which consisted of a white polo shirt that had the Pokémon High logo and the Pikachu mascot embroidered into it. With that, I put on the navy blue skirt with tights and the simple, shiny black shoes that accompanied the rest of the uniform. Once that was done, I looked at myself in the mirror nailed to the back of my bedroom door, and took my pink hairbrush to brush my long, golden hair down. After that, I deftly tied it into a ponytail, and then put in my bright blue hair clip. Once that was done, I looked at my reflection and smiled, honestly feeling this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

After that was taken care of, I opened the door and headed downstairs to grab breakfast while I couldn't help but what kind of experience I was in for. I walked downstairs, then grabbed a piece of toast, covered it in jam, and went and sat against the table. I was still tired and kept yawning after every few mouthfuls of toast. I think that’s why my mum was giggling so much. She wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping it to herself was she.
there it is
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-24-2010, 12:17 AM
Traxx's Avatar
Traxx Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Southwest U.S.
Posts: 143
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

Just a suggestion, but you might want to change some of the words like "told" and "replied" to some more exciting dialogue words?

Just a suggestion. Use it if you like.
__________________
~Traxx

Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-24-2010, 09:14 AM
shaymingirl1 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7
Default Re: Want to know what u think of this start of my fanfic

Quote:
Originally Posted by Traxx View Post
Just a suggestion, but you might want to change some of the words like "told" and "replied" to some more exciting dialogue words?

Just a suggestion. Use it if you like.
thx for that u got any ocs ??? or anyone out there readingmy thread
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:09 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com