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  #1  
Old 05-25-2010, 01:01 AM
Ken's Avatar
Ken Offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Posts: 622
Default [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

Okay, first off I want everyone to know that this is not a fanfic, novel, or anything of the sort. It is a RP.

Now then, time to explain a few things...

Recently I asked my friend Roxas, a master GM, to teach me how to run good RPGs. In response, he told me to write an RPG with different sections (thus the chapters). In each different section, he would give me a different task. For instance, revise the rules to make them extremely detailed, or make the Sign-Up more detailed for the characters.

Now then, this section's prompt, besides the above, was: "Start a RP that was inspired by one of the following 5 pictures." Then he showed a list of 5 pictures.

Anyways, here is the one that inspired me:

Now that that's explained, please keep reading, and I hope that you will enjoy this. ^^

Index:
  • Storyline
  • Rules
  • Your Role - Svētais : Light One
  • Your Role - Svētais : Dark One
  • Your Role - Svētais : Neutral One
  • Your Role - Man
  • Sign-Up Sheet - Svētais : Light One
  • Sign-Up Sheet - Svētais : Dark One
  • Sign-Up Sheet - Svētais : Neutral One
  • Sign-Up Sheet - Man
  • Approved Svētais : Light One
  • Approved Svētais : Dark One
  • Approved Svētais : Neutral One
  • Approved Humans

NOTE: This will be set in a catholic point of view regarding God, etc. I'm not catholic, but it was the best way to deliver this RP.

Story In the Beginning Long ago, God created the universe. God created the worlds, the stars, and the beings that live on the worlds. There are several worlds, but the one that is most well-known to the species called Man is called Earth, in the Solar System.

When God created Earth, he created the animals and people that live on it. The main species, Man, inhabits the entire globe. However, Man is not perfect and God knows this. Man can sin if he wants to. Man can be a saint, or be a devil. However, God did not stop this, for it was the natural way for Man to progress.

However, Man began to become corrupt. Something God did not see. Man began taking over the world instead of simply living in it. Man began wiping out the other species that lived on Earth. And soon, Man would progress to the stars, where it out wipe out more species.

Or so God saw it.

And thus, God created another species: The Svētais, Latvian for Holy. These were Angel-like people who would stop Man if he became to corrupt.

However, God did not count on the Svētais becoming corrupt as well.

The Never-Ending War The Svētais split into two groups: Light and Dark. Neither was good, and neither was evil, however all battled against the other group non-stop. Light ones had white wings, and white eyes, and all wore a blue ring on the index finger of their left hand. Dark ones had black wings and red eyes, and all wore a red ring on the index finger of their right hand.

However, there was another group. It was rare, but true. The Light and Dark ones, or Neutral ones. These were Svētais who were a combination of Light ones and Dark ones. Their left side was that of a Dark one, yet their right side was that of a Light one. These Neutral Ones were not welcome in the land of the Light ones, nor were they welcome in the land of the Dark ones.

The Neutral Ones wanted, above all else, peace between the two Svētais. They tried hard to get peace between the Light ones and the Dark ones, but with no avail. Instead, the Neutral ones were driven out of the different group's cities, and sent to the Human world, where they watched over the humans, waiting for a chance to bring peace back.

Race Against Time... Meanwhile, Man became even more powerful, and God knew it was just a matter of time before Man could be stopped in this Race against time. But first, the Svētais must find peace. And so, the first Chapter in The Balance Chronicles began.

Rules
  • Romance must be PG-13 or lower - French Kissing is the MAXIMUM amount of maturity on the forums. If you want your character and your girlfriend/boyfriend's characters to have sex then do it in PMs. >.<

    Remember: Female characters can get pregnant, so take precautions (If you do have sex, PM me SAYING THAT YOU DO! (Don't PM me what your friggen PMing >.<), I will then decide if the female character gets pregnant or not.)
    Major
  • No Excessive Amounts of Gore - You can describe blood in your posts, but please don't say stuff like "Bob stabs the dead body in the stomach and rips it open. He pulls out the guts and shoves them...". There are young people on here! You may think it doesn't matter because the people your RPing with don't care, but some young people on here might run into your post. Plus also, it builds up bad habits.
    Moderate
  • No Godmoding - Nobody in invinsible! You can't avoid every hit, and land every hit. You gotta miss sometimes, and get hit sometimes.
    Major
  • No Bunnying - No controlling someone else's character.
    Minor
  • No Metagaming - Metagaming is when you use information you have gathered OOC and using for IC purposes.
    Severe
  • No Excessive Profanity - Nobody likes to come into a topic and see the word "f***" everywhere. Keep the swearing to a minimum please. Words like "Damn", "Ass", "Hell", etc. are okay, but big words like "F***", "S***", "P****", etc. are to be kept to the bare minimum. We're all big kids here, but there are young'uns too. If people are swearing up a storm, I ask that moderators clear the chat.
    Moderate
  • So that I can see you have read these words, put this anywhere in your sign-up: "The Cost Of Living" (It's an Album name.)
  • Minor: Warning, Warning, Warning, Warning, Banned.
  • Moderate: Warning, Warning, Warning, Banned.
  • Major: Warning, Warning, Banned.
  • Severe (If I'm feeling nice that day): Warning, Banned.
  • Severe (If I'm not feeling nice): Banned.

As you can see, I do not tolerate Metagaming AT ALL!

Your Role : Svētais - The Light ones

Rarity: 1/5

If you are a Light one, then you control the power of Light. Light Ones use white energy, created from the power of their spirit wings, which is used to heal, but also to attack (minorly). Light Ones are mainly healers, though they do have warriors. In the Never-Ending War, the Light Ones send their warriors in to fight, while the rest stay back and heal the injured, so that they may still fight.

If you are a Light one, your goal is to defeat the Dark ones. However, there are a few Light ones that still desire peace. Are you one of those people? If so, then your best bet would be to help the Neutral ones in their quest for peace.

As a Light One, you eyes are naturally white, and you have large, white, Angel-like wings. All Light Ones have a blue ring on the index finger of their left hand.

Your Role : Svētais - The Dark ones

1/5

If you are a Dark one, then you control the power of Darkness. Dark Ones use Black energy, created from the power of their spirit wings, which is used to attack. Dark Ones are strong and durible, able to take many hits. Their power is great, and they possess the ability to kill a person right away.

If you are a Dark one, your goal is to defeat the Light ones. However, like the Light ones, there are a few Dark ones that still desire peace. Are you one of those people? If so, then your best bet would be to help the Neutral ones in their quest for peace.

As a Dark One, you eyes are naturally red, and you have large, black, Angel-like wings. All Dark Ones have a red ring on the index finger of their red hand.

Your Role : Svētais - The Neutral Ones

Rarity: 4/5

As a Neutral one, you control the power of both Light and Darkness, however your skill in both is limited. Also, unlike the Light ones, your white energy only heals. You draw upon your energy from your wings - White from your right wing, Black from you left wing.

As a Neutral one, your goal is bring peace to the Light and Dark ones, and fufill your original tasks: Stop Man before he destroys everything. Neutral ones can act alone, but your best bet as a Neutral One is to find help.

As a Neutral One, you are a bit of Dark and Light. Your left side is that of a Dark one, and your right side is that of a Light one. Your right eye is white, as is your right wing. Likewise, your left eye is red and your left wing black. You possess two rings, both on your index fingers. One is blue, worn on your right hand, and one is red, worn on your left hand.

Your Role : Man

Rarity: 1/5

As a Man, you do not know that Svētais exist. You can be many things from a peace-loving pacifist, to a megalomaniac war general. Man has many professions, as well as many status options. Man does not have a single goal individually, but one lust of almost every Man is to take over everything they see.

However, each and every Man differs from one another. While some desire conquest, others desire peace. If you are one of these, you have three options: 1) Try and stop Man from controlling everything. 2) Help the Neutral ones (if you meet them) in their quest for peace. And 3) Go on with your life as you always have.

Sign-Up Sheet : Svētais - Light One

-General-
Name: (First and Last please.)
Age: (10 if you wanna look 1, 20 if you wanna look 2, 30 if you wanna look 3, etc.)
Race: Svētais : Light One
Gender: (Male or Female)
-Appearance-
Picture: (Optional. NOTE: The picture does not have to include the wings, eyes, and rings because every Light One has those.)
Appearance: (With a picture: 1+ paragraphs (please add lots of detail on anything not shown in the picture) of 4+ sentences. Without a picture: 2+ paragraphs of 4+ sentences each.)
Height: (Be reasonable.)
Weight: (Be reasonable.)
-Personality-
Personality: (2+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences in each please.)
Morality: (Standard or Peaceful. (Standard fights in the war with the Dark Ones, Peaceful wants to help the Neutral Ones.)
-Violent: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Cleanliness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Murderous: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Law-Abiding: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Calmness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Shyness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Activeness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Playfulness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
Favorites: (Food, Color, Animal, Flower, etc.)
Likes: (About 5.)
Dislikes: (About 5.)
Theme Song: (Optional, but it's nice.)
-Weapons-
NOTE: All Light ones have ONE weapon.
Name: (Name of Weapon. NOTE: All weapons have a name.)
Type: (Bladed, Ranged, or Misc.)
-Sub_Type: (Sword? Bow and Arrow? This is optional, for if you don't know then you don't have to put it (Instead put N/A)
Picture: (Optional.)
Appearance: (1+ paragraph, 3+ Sentences in each.)
True From: (Magic Shoes? A gem? Every Weapon has a true form. Post a picture, or describe it, here.)
Ability: (ONE ONLY!)
-Abilities-
Ability: (Every Light One has an ability from turning into an animal (one animal) to severing a person's soul from them.)
Techniques: (Optional.)
-Technique Name: (Name of Technique.)
-Description: (Describe your Technique.)
-Background-
History: (3+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences for each.)
RP Sample: (NO LINKS!)

Sign-Up Sheet : Svētais - Dark One

-General-
Name: (First and Last please.)
Age: (10 if you wanna look 1, 20 if you wanna look 2, 30 if you wanna look 3, etc.)
Race: Svētais : Dark One
Gender: (Male or Female)
-Appearance-
Picture: (Optional. NOTE: The picture does not have to include the wings, eyes, and rings because every Dark One has those.)
Appearance: (With a picture: 1+ paragraphs (please add lots of detail on anything not shown in the picture) of 4+ sentences. Without a picture: 2+ paragraphs of 4+ sentences each.)
Height: (Be reasonable.)
Weight: (Be reasonable.)
-Personality-
Personality: (2+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences in each please.)
Morality: (Standard or Peaceful. (Standard fights in the war with the Light Ones, Peaceful wants to help the Neutral Ones.)
-Violent: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Cleanliness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Murderous: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Law-Abiding: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Calmness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Shyness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Activeness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Playfulness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
Favorites: (Food, Color, Animal, Flower, etc.)
Likes: (About 5.)
Dislikes: (About 5.)
Theme Song: (Optional, but it's nice.)
-Weapons-
NOTE: All Dark ones have ONE weapon.
Name: (Name of Weapon. NOTE: All weapons have a name.)
Type: (Bladed, Ranged, or Misc.)
-Sub_Type: (Sword? Bow and Arrow? This is optional, for if you don't know then you don't have to put it (Instead put N/A)
Picture: (Optional.)
Appearance: (1+ paragraph, 3+ Sentences in each.)
True From: (Magic Shoes? A gem? Every Weapon has a true form. Post a picture, or describe it, here.)
Ability: (ONE ONLY!)
-Abilities-
Ability: (Every Dark One has an ability from turning into an animal (one animal) to severing a person's soul from them.)
Techniques: (Optional.)
-Technique Name: (Name of Technique.)
-Description: (Describe your Technique.)
-Background-
History: (3+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences for each.)
RP Sample: (NO LINKS!)

Sign-Up Sheet : Svētais - Neutral One

-General-
Name: (First and Last please.)
Age: (10 if you wanna look 1, 20 if you wanna look 2, 30 if you wanna look 3, etc.)
Race: Svētais : Neutral One
Gender: (Male or Female)
-Appearance-
Picture: (Optional. NOTE: The picture does not have to include the wings, eyes, and rings because every Neutral One has those.)
Appearance: (With a picture: 1+ paragraphs (please add lots of detail on anything not shown in the picture) of 4+ sentences. Without a picture: 2+ paragraphs of 4+ sentences each.)
Height: (Be reasonable.)
Weight: (Be reasonable.)
-Personality-
Personality: (2+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences in each please.)
-Violent: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Cleanliness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Murderous: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Law-Abiding: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Calmness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Shyness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Activeness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Playfulness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
Favorites: (Food, Color, Animal, Flower, etc.)
Likes: (About 5.)
Dislikes: (About 5.)
Theme Song: (Optional, but it's nice.)
-Weapons-
NOTE: All Neutral ones have ONE weapon.
Name: (Name of Weapon. NOTE: All weapons have a name.)
Type: (Bladed, Ranged, or Misc.)
-Sub_Type: (Sword? Bow and Arrow? This is optional, for if you don't know then you don't have to put it (Instead put N/A)
Picture: (Optional.)
Appearance: (1+ paragraph, 3+ Sentences in each.)
True From: (Magic Shoes? A gem? Every Weapon has a true form. Post a picture, or describe it, here.)
Ability: (ONE ONLY!)
-Abilities-
Ability: (Every Neutral One has an ability from turning into an animal (one animal) to severing a person's soul from them.)
Techniques: (Optional.)
-Technique Name: (Name of Technique.)
-Description: (Describe your Technique.)
-Background-
History: (3+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences for each.)
RP Sample: (NO LINKS!)

Sign-Up Sheet : Man


-General-
Name: (First and Last please.)
Age:
Race: Man
Gender: (Male or Female)
-Appearance-
Picture: (Optional.)
Appearance: (With a picture: 1+ paragraphs (please add lots of detail on anything not shown in the picture) of 4+ sentences. Without a picture: 2+ paragraphs of 4+ sentences each.)
Height: (Be reasonable.)
Weight: (Be reasonable.)
-Personality-
Personality: (2+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences in each please.)
-Violent: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Cleanliness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Murderous: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Law-Abiding: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Calmness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Shyness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Activeness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
-Playfulness: (Rate your character in this field from 1-10.)
Favorites: (Food, Color, Animal, Flower, etc.)
Likes: (About 5.)
Dislikes: (About 5.)
Theme Song: (Optional, but it's nice.)
-Weapons-
NOTE: Optional.
Name: (Optional.)
Type: (Bladed, Ranged, or Misc.)
-Sub_Type: (Shotgun? Sword? This is optional, for if you don't know then you don't have to put it (Instead put N/A)
Picture: (Optional.)
Appearance: (1+ paragraph, 3+ Sentences in each.)
-Background-
History: (3+ Paragraphs, 5+ sentences for each.)
RP Sample: (NO LINKS!)

Approved Svētais : Light Ones
  • Grsspkmnmaster - Angela Feyr


Approved Svētais : Dark Ones

Approved Svētais : Neutral Ones

Approved Humans

Warned

Banned

Last edited by Ken; 05-28-2010 at 03:54 PM.
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  #2  
Old 05-27-2010, 08:30 PM
DarkAmethyst's Avatar
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: OMG LOOK! A distraction!
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Default Re: [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

Now this seems like a promising RP. However, it may take me awhile to complete the SU, so... reserve me as a Neutral One please?
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Last edited by DarkAmethyst; 05-27-2010 at 10:42 PM.
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  #3  
Old 05-27-2010, 10:00 PM
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Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Fortree City, Hoenn
Posts: 1,191
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Default Re: [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

Can the wing styles vary? Or is everyone pretty much the same except for human features as a Svētais?

-General-
Name: Angela Feyr
Age: 170
Race: Svētais - Light One
Gender: Female
-Appearance-
Picture: Here she is.
Appearance: She very beautiful, and is almost never caught outside of a belly shirt that stops at her rib cage. Usually she is in blue, but sometimes it changes. She always is wearing jeans, and they almost always have rips in them from various scuffles. She usually has her hair down when she's not busy, but if she's working/going into battle, then she ties it up to keep it out of her face.
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 114 lbs.
-Personality-
Personality: She is one tough cookie. She's not afraid to let you know that she doesn't like you, and that usually involves the business end of her sword. Spunky and courageous, she's always ready to try new things. When she's with people, she tries to keep herself under control, namely because she has a wild personality when she's alone or with a person who she knows won't care what happens. She is an overt bi-sexual, and is incredibly flirty. When shes mad, she goes into a towering rage and can expertly use whatever happens to be at hand to beat you bloody. Other than that, she's loyal to her cause and to her friends, and finds that love is something that you can share with a lot of people. She hates the Dark Ones with a passion because of an event in her past (see History).

Her battle strategy is completely based on offensive tactics. She can be described as a brawler since her powers allow her to take heavy physical damage without causing too much pain. Usually before battle she augments her body with bone-plating that takes a lot of damage before breaking. With her powers, she mainly uses the bones as projectiles and armor, resorting only to bone melee weapons or light weapons when she can't use Bone Wrecker. With this in mind, the key aspect to her fighting is that she doesn't take formal battle strategies. She just goes in hacking and slashing with surgical precision, but not with any ultimate plan. She always is a follower.
Morality: Standard
-Violent: 7
-Cleanliness: 5
-Murderous: 4
-Law-Abiding: 4
-Calmness: 1
-Shyness: 1
-Activeness: 8
-Playfulness: 10
Favorites: Her favorite color is blue/green. Her favorite animal is the praying mantis, and she likes to listen to heavy rock/metal music.
Theme Song: Headstrong- Trapt
-Weapons-
Name: Bone Wrecker
Type: Bladed
-Sub_Type: Hand-and-a-Half Long-Sword
Picture: I don't take credit for this picture.
Appearance: The blade itself is 4 feet long, which makes it incredibly heavy to carry and wield efficiently. The base above the hilt is 1 foot wide, and the curve goes out 2 extra inches to give an amazing range. The base also has an emerald set into the blade. With no cross guard, the blade itself is the only thing that can be used offensively or defensively, tho the pommel could do some damage as a blunt weapon. The entire edge is honed to cut, and the center of the sword is the portion that retains the form and never needs to be repaired.
True From: An emerald brooch, which is activated by her tearing off the necklace and and clasping the emerald tightly.
-Abilities-
Ability: Osteomanipulation- This menas she can manipulate, reproduce, and regenerate the bones in her body. She utilizes this power in many ways, including the creation of bone armor and projectile spikes. She also possesses a healing factor and enhanced immune system, much in the same vein as Wolverine since every time a bone is ripped out a wound remains which closes itself within seconds.
-Background-
History:
Spoiler:
Completely going out on a limb here...

Born to normal Svētais parents, she has always been the odd one out in her society. Already one of the few who was destined to become a Light Svētais Warrior, she was always challenging the society which she grew up in. It wasn't out of spite or out of some evil disagreement. She simply liked being the rebel. When it came time for her to start training with a weapon, she picked arguably the least favorable sword that one could ever attempt to use. And yet it fits her like a glove; totally unpredictable and totally unconventional.

When she was 14, she joined the fight against the Dark Svētais, and it was there that she met her tragedies. She was still a relatively new soldier when her contingent was ambushed. Not caring about the damage they were doing, some of the more violent Dark Svētais restrained and raped her. It was at that moment that she realized her osteomanipulatory powers. Her whole body erupted in bony spikes, killing all of the aggressors instantly. She has never gotten over that event, and it only fuels the strong hatred she has for the Dark Ones. When she came back from the front lines, it took her 2 years to recover her normal personality. And she still wasn't the same person. She lived more on the edge, and changed her sexual orientation, as she puts it, "For the sake of enjoyment."

Right now, she is off duty and waiting to be re-stationed at her next assignment. She is ready to do whatever it takes in order to end the war that is going on right now, no matter what the cost. It is now that she finds herself ready to live her life, love who she pleases, and be free. With her minor campaign experience, she is relatively unknown throughout the Light Warriors, and tries hard not to build a reputation. She is content with living at the bottom of the power ladder, and never wants to be in a position where she can't fight.

RP Sample:
Spoiler:
Sir Derek Feyr
Knights of the Aura
Castle of Almia Gate


I heard the wooden sounds of the horn reverberating off the walls. I turned and faced the amassed mounted Knights. The two gatekeepers, a Primeape and a Hariyama started working the winches that raised the gates to the castle. I shouldered the claymore and guided Crush to pace the ranks. The Rhyhorn turned his small bulky body and we started moving. I projected my voice over the small crowd of Knights. "Knights of the Aura, this is what we have trained for. For combat is the only finality that a Knight hopes to face. It is in the face of evil itself that we try to to hold our ground and push back the wave of evil away from the grounds of our castle, and from the surrounding villages. The Order of the Dusk have finally tried what few people have dared to dream of. They dare to attack the strongest base of warriors in the land. However, we stop them here. For we are the Knights of the Aura, the strongest Knights in history. This night is ours! KNIGHTS, WHAT SAY YOU?" With the clatter of swords and various other weapons, and the harsh grinding of metal armor, rose the cry that had been passed down through all of the ages of the Knights of the Aura, "OUR MOUNTS ARE READY, OUR SWORDS ARE SHARP!" I heard the crash of the gates hitting the top of the stone wall, and turned Crush to face the gates.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!" With a surge of thundering feet, the rattle and clatter of armor and sharpened swords and spears, with the groans and battle ries of many mounted pokemon, we surged like a single lightning bolt towards the gates. I looked behind me to watch the pokemon run behind me. There were mostly the standard equine mounts, like Ponyta and Rapidash. There were also a few knights brave enough to mount more heavy duty mounts, such as myself. The harder mounts were usually armored beasts like my Rhyhorn, other pokemon like Lairon, and even the adventurous type who would try to ride a Bastiodon. There were even some who rode upon the flightier Doduo and Dodrio.

With a roar, we hit the battlefield, surprising the enemy knights with our sudden appearance. Wielding the heavy claymore, I felled a Sceptile who had tried to use Leaf Blade on Crush. Crush knocked a small Raichu aside with his powerful rocky head plate. I looked back, bringing Crush to a stop. We were routing the Order of the Dusk, but not by a significant enough advantage to be calling it a victory. I raised the claymore with both hands, and had Crush bring us both on the chase of a Dusk human warrior.


Longest SU EVER!
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Last edited by Grsspkmnmaster; 05-28-2010 at 12:11 PM.
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  #4  
Old 05-28-2010, 12:16 AM
Ken's Avatar
Ken Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Classified
Posts: 622
Default Re: [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

I'm gonna be more lax on the Sign-Ups. Yes, that does mean no more 4 paragraph personalities and 5 paragraph historys to qualify. xD

@DarkAmethyst: Oki. :3 You are reserved.

But honestly, you don't have to reserve because I'm probably not gonna set a limit to the amount of people that can register (Unless it comes to that one point...)

But I'll reserve you anyways.

@Grsspkmnmaster: Yeah, so I've got one thing. If you see the template, it says 2+ paragraphs for personality and description. You probably have 2 paragraphs, but to me it looks like one paragraph, so if you could just split them or something. Also, just 2 more sentences on the last paragraph of history. The wing styles are all the same, btw.

Last edited by Ken; 05-28-2010 at 04:54 PM.
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  #5  
Old 05-28-2010, 01:31 PM
Grsspkmnmaster's Avatar
Grsspkmnmaster Offline
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Default Re: [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grsspkmnmaster View Post
Can the wing styles vary? Or is everyone pretty much the same except for human features as a Svētais?

-General-
Name: Angela Feyr
Age: 170
Race: Svētais - Light One
Gender: Female
-Appearance-
Picture: Here she is.
Appearance: She very beautiful, and is almost never caught outside of a belly shirt that stops at her rib cage. Usually she is in blue, but sometimes it changes. She always is wearing jeans, and they almost always have rips in them from various scuffles. She usually has her hair down when she's not busy, but if she's working/going into battle, then she ties it up to keep it out of her face.
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 114 lbs.
-Personality-
Personality: She is one tough cookie. She's not afraid to let you know that she doesn't like you, and that usually involves the business end of her sword. Spunky and courageous, she's always ready to try new things. When she's with people, she tries to keep herself under control, namely because she has a wild personality when she's alone or with a person who she knows won't care what happens. She is an overt bi-sexual, and is incredibly flirty. When shes mad, she goes into a towering rage and can expertly use whatever happens to be at hand to beat you bloody. Other than that, she's loyal to her cause and to her friends, and finds that love is something that you can share with a lot of people. She hates the Dark Ones with a passion because of an event in her past (see History).

Her battle strategy is completely based on offensive tactics. She can be described as a brawler since her powers allow her to take heavy physical damage without causing too much pain. Usually before battle she augments her body with bone-plating that takes a lot of damage before breaking. With her powers, she mainly uses the bones as projectiles and armor, resorting only to bone melee weapons or light weapons when she can't use Bone Wrecker. With this in mind, the key aspect to her fighting is that she doesn't take formal battle strategies. She just goes in hacking and slashing with surgical precision, but not with any ultimate plan. She always is a follower.
Morality: Standard
-Violent: 7
-Cleanliness: 5
-Murderous: 4
-Law-Abiding: 4
-Calmness: 1
-Shyness: 1
-Activeness: 8
-Playfulness: 10
Favorites: Her favorite color is blue/green. Her favorite animal is the praying mantis, and she likes to listen to heavy rock/metal music.
Theme Song: Headstrong- Trapt
-Weapons-
Name: Bone Wrecker
Type: Bladed
-Sub_Type: Hand-and-a-Half Long-Sword
Picture: I don't take credit for this picture.
Appearance: The blade itself is 4 feet long, which makes it incredibly heavy to carry and wield efficiently. The base above the hilt is 1 foot wide, and the curve goes out 2 extra inches to give an amazing range. The base also has an emerald set into the blade. With no cross guard, the blade itself is the only thing that can be used offensively or defensively, tho the pommel could do some damage as a blunt weapon. The entire edge is honed to cut, and the center of the sword is the portion that retains the form and never needs to be repaired.
True From: An emerald brooch, which is activated by her tearing off the necklace and and clasping the emerald tightly.
-Abilities-
Ability: Osteomanipulation- This menas she can manipulate, reproduce, and regenerate the bones in her body. She utilizes this power in many ways, including the creation of bone armor and projectile spikes. She also possesses a healing factor and enhanced immune system, much in the same vein as Wolverine since every time a bone is ripped out a wound remains which closes itself within seconds.
-Background-
History:
Spoiler:
Completely going out on a limb here...

Born to normal Svētais parents, she has always been the odd one out in her society. Already one of the few who was destined to become a Light Svētais Warrior, she was always challenging the society which she grew up in. It wasn't out of spite or out of some evil disagreement. She simply liked being the rebel. When it came time for her to start training with a weapon, she picked arguably the least favorable sword that one could ever attempt to use. And yet it fits her like a glove; totally unpredictable and totally unconventional.

When she was 14, she joined the fight against the Dark Svētais, and it was there that she met her tragedies. She was still a relatively new soldier when her contingent was ambushed. Not caring about the damage they were doing, some of the more violent Dark Svētais restrained and raped her. It was at that moment that she realized her osteomanipulatory powers. Her whole body erupted in bony spikes, killing all of the aggressors instantly. She has never gotten over that event, and it only fuels the strong hatred she has for the Dark Ones. When she came back from the front lines, it took her 2 years to recover her normal personality. And she still wasn't the same person. She lived more on the edge, and changed her sexual orientation, as she puts it, "For the sake of enjoyment."

Right now, she is off duty and waiting to be re-stationed at her next assignment. She is ready to do whatever it takes in order to end the war that is going on right now, no matter what the cost. It is now that she finds herself ready to live her life, love who she pleases, and be free. With her minor campaign experience, she is relatively unknown throughout the Light Warriors, and tries hard not to build a reputation. She is content with living at the bottom of the power ladder, and never wants to be in a position where she can't fight.

RP Sample:
Spoiler:
Sir Derek Feyr
Knights of the Aura
Castle of Almia Gate


I heard the wooden sounds of the horn reverberating off the walls. I turned and faced the amassed mounted Knights. The two gatekeepers, a Primeape and a Hariyama started working the winches that raised the gates to the castle. I shouldered the claymore and guided Crush to pace the ranks. The Rhyhorn turned his small bulky body and we started moving. I projected my voice over the small crowd of Knights. "Knights of the Aura, this is what we have trained for. For combat is the only finality that a Knight hopes to face. It is in the face of evil itself that we try to to hold our ground and push back the wave of evil away from the grounds of our castle, and from the surrounding villages. The Order of the Dusk have finally tried what few people have dared to dream of. They dare to attack the strongest base of warriors in the land. However, we stop them here. For we are the Knights of the Aura, the strongest Knights in history. This night is ours! KNIGHTS, WHAT SAY YOU?" With the clatter of swords and various other weapons, and the harsh grinding of metal armor, rose the cry that had been passed down through all of the ages of the Knights of the Aura, "OUR MOUNTS ARE READY, OUR SWORDS ARE SHARP!" I heard the crash of the gates hitting the top of the stone wall, and turned Crush to face the gates.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!" With a surge of thundering feet, the rattle and clatter of armor and sharpened swords and spears, with the groans and battle ries of many mounted pokemon, we surged like a single lightning bolt towards the gates. I looked behind me to watch the pokemon run behind me. There were mostly the standard equine mounts, like Ponyta and Rapidash. There were also a few knights brave enough to mount more heavy duty mounts, such as myself. The harder mounts were usually armored beasts like my Rhyhorn, other pokemon like Lairon, and even the adventurous type who would try to ride a Bastiodon. There were even some who rode upon the flightier Doduo and Dodrio.

With a roar, we hit the battlefield, surprising the enemy knights with our sudden appearance. Wielding the heavy claymore, I felled a Sceptile who had tried to use Leaf Blade on Crush. Crush knocked a small Raichu aside with his powerful rocky head plate. I looked back, bringing Crush to a stop. We were routing the Order of the Dusk, but not by a significant enough advantage to be calling it a victory. I raised the claymore with both hands, and had Crush bring us both on the chase of a Dusk human warrior.


Longest SU EVER!
Edited!
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  #6  
Old 05-28-2010, 03:50 PM
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Ken Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Classified
Posts: 622
Default Re: [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

@Grsspkmnmaster: Approved!
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  #7  
Old 05-28-2010, 04:52 PM
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Ken Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Classified
Posts: 622
Default Re: [SU]The Balance Chronicles : Chapter 1 - The Never-Ending War[SU]

(Sorry For Double Post)

WIP xD

-General-
Name: Lykaios Marikol
Age: 140
Race: Svētais : Neutral One
Gender: Male
-Appearance-
Picture:
Appearance: Lykaios is a tall, skinny, muscular young teenage boy. He has golden-pale skin, and a heavily defined collarbone. He has an 8-pack, and well-toned muscules that sort of mold and follow his body's shape. Lykaios' fingers are long and slender, as are his limbs. He stands at 5'8'' and weighs 130 lbs, which is just about all muscle.

Lykaios has a heart-shaped face, and huge eyes. His left eye is red, and his right eye is white. His ears are slightly pointed and elf-like. He has a small nose, and his small mouth is usually in a half-open frown. Lykaios' hair is dark brownish-red, and is short and straight.

Lykaios, of course, has the wings of a Svētais, his left one black and his right one white. Lykaios rarely wears shirts or anything on his top, but when he does he usually wears tight, dark tee-shirts with a white, tribal pattern on them. He likes wearing dark jeans: Dark gray, Black, Dark Red, or Dark Blue colors. The size varies, meaning they can be baggy or not. For shoes he likes wearing all dark runnig shoes, or sandles. Aside from his rings, he doesn't acsessorize.
Height: 5'8''
Weight: 130 lbs.
-Personality-
Personality: Lykaios is an emotional, sensitive young angel. He is quite emotional and sad, even depressed. His tears are interesting. The tears he cried from his left eye are white, and the tears from his right eye are black. He is very shy as well, and can't be comforted by anything other then animals (No horses, due to him having a fear of horses.) He is very misunderstood, and often gets teased because of his wings colors. Lykaios has an inferiority complex.

Oh, and Lykaios loves music. Lykaios can play the flue, both reed and metal. He also likes to listen to music, usually with his eyes closed. He can get to sleep easily around music, so he normally plays some songs before going to sleep.

Lykaios is haunted by his past, and by a certain flashback. In Lykaios' flashback, a man with a wolf is standing a few feet in front of him. The man and the wolf look at him, then blood starts pouring out of the man's eyes and mouth, and the wolf starts lapping it up off the ground. Then the man's head rolls off, and the wolf brings it too Lykaios. Then the wolf attacks Lykaios savagely, and the flashback ends.
-Violent: 4
-Cleanliness: 6
-Murderous: 5
-Law-Abiding: 4
-Calmness: 9
-Shyness: 9
-Activeness: 8
-Playfulness: 5
Favorites:
  • Food: Sandwiches
  • Color: Dark red (Like his hair)
  • Animal: Vampire Bat
  • Flower: Lilies
  • Band: Three Days Grace
  • Music Genre: Indie Rock
  • Song: Over and Over by Three Days Grace
Likes:
  • Night Creatures
  • Peace
  • Nature
  • Music
  • Being Alone
Dislikes:
  • Crowds
  • Bright Colors
  • War
  • Horses (Afraid)
  • Needles
Theme Song: Over and Over by Three Days Grace
-Weapons-
Name: Xiphos
Type: Bladed
-Sub_Type: N/A
Picture:
Appearance: Xiphos sharts out as a long, metal curve, sharp at both ends except at the handle which is marked with red and yellow gems. At the top, it splits three ways. One way goes back down the curve ending at the half mark. The side opposite that side makes a clean, round curve, before going down the blade about 3/5 of the way. And the top part goes flat before making a sharp angle upwards.
True From:
Ability: Xiphos can slice through somebody at a distance and severe their soul from their body, which does great damage to Lykaios' body. Unless Xiphos is in his true form, in which case it sucks the soul into it, not doing damage to Lykaios.
-Abilities-
Ability: Lykaios' abulity comes fromhis wings. His white one can transfer white energy to Lykaios' hands, which he can use to heal people. The Black one can transfer black energy to Lykaios' hands, which can hurt people. Lykaios can manipulate both energies. Lykaios can use Black Energy attacks and White Energy healing at the same time (Unless stated otherwise).
Techniques:
-Technique Name: Black Energy Attacks
-Description: As stated earlier, the black energy coming from Lykaios' left wing can harm and hurt people that Lykaios attacks with it. The damage varies from small scratches to large gashed and stabs. To use the technique that use Dark Energy, Lykaios calls upon the energy form his left wing and it surrounds his left hand.

Time: 20 posts
Cool Down Time: 5 posts

-Technique Name: Dark Bullets
-Description: Lykaios points his hand at his enemy with his pinky and ring finger curled in and his index and middle fingers pointed towards his opponent. His thumb it stuck into the air. Basically it's like a finger gun. Then Lykaios shoots the dark energy at his opponent, and it does the same damage that a gun would do.

-Technique Name: Dark Whip
-Description: Lykaios shapes his dark energy into a large whip. The whip can curl around his opponents and injure them with extreme wounds, as well as burn them.

-Technique Name: Dark Sword
-Description: Lykaios stretches out his dark energy into a straight energy sword. Then he can attack with this sword.

-Technique Name: Dark Jutte
-Description: Lykaios stretches his energy into a large Jutte with a 4 ft lng blade.

-Technique Name: Dark Beam
-Description: Lykaios points his hand at his opponent, palm facing his opponent, and shoots out a beam of black energy, which can harm his opponent very much.

-Technique Name: Dark Jet
-Description: Lykaios' Dark Jet attack is like his Dark Beam attack, but it shoots a larger jet of Black Energy towards his opponent.

-Technique Name: Holy Darkness
-Description: Lykaios' supreme Darkness attack is called "Holy Darkness" The energy surrounding Lykaios spreds out creating darkness everywhere. Because this is still Lykaios' energy, he can manipulate it and kill people with it. Also, because it is Lykaios' energy, only Lykaios can see in it.

NOTE: Holy Darkness cannot be used at the same time as Holy Light.

Time: Holy Darkness lasts for 3 posts.
Cool Down Time: Lykaios can use Holy Darkness once every 50 posts, regardless of how many topics.

-Technique Name: White Energy Healing
-Description: The energy coming from Lykaios' white wing, his right wing, is white, and possesses healing powers. Lykaios calls upon he energy from his left wing, and the energy surrounds his left hand. Then he can manipulate this energy.

Time: 20 posts
Cool Down Time: 5 Posts

-Technique Name: Light Curative
-Description: Light Curative is a technique that Lykaios can use to heal himself, wounds both internal and external. The white energy surrounds Lykaios like a cyclone of ribbons, then disperses and he is healed.

-Technique Name: Light Heal
-Description: Light Heal is a technique that Lykaios uses to heal other people. He placed his right hand on their chest, over their heart, and the energy heals their wounds.

-Technique Name: Revival
-Description: Lykaios can revive somebody who has been dead for less then 5 minutes by placing his right hand on the dead person's chest, and healing them

Cool Down Time: Lykaios can use Revival once every 20 posts, regardless of how many topics.

-Technique Name: Holy Light
-Description: Holy Light is Lykaios' supreme white energy attack. Lykaios expands the white energy around his arm to completely flood the room with it (It makes everything seem light and sparkly). Then, he can manipuate te energy to heal anyone he wants.

NOTE: Holy Light cannot be used at the same time as Holy Darkness.

Time: Holy Light lasts for 3 posts.
Cool Down Time: Lykaios can use Holy Light once every 50 posts, regardless of how many topics.

-Technique Name: Duel White and Black Energy Techniques
-Description: Duel Energy Techniques are Techniques that involve both energies from both of Lykaios' wings.

-Technique Name: Divine Favor
-Description: Divine Favor is Lykaios' supreme attack. The Black Energy makes his left side glow black, and the White Energy makes his right side glow white. Then, his eyes glow (red for the left one and light blue for the right one). Then, Lykaios can manipulate the energy that he creates, by shooting it from his heart.

Time: Divine Favor lasts for 7 posts.
Cool Down Time: Divine Favor can be used once every 100 posts.
-Background-
History: Lykaios was born in Heaven, the land of the Svētais.
RP Sample: Micheal yawned loudly as he walked down the lawn. People stared at him, pointing a bit. "Aw shaddup! I'm not gonna show you how to use the swords." He said without looking at them. The kids who were pointing at him gave small "eep" sounds, and ran off. Micheal rolled his eyes. "Dummies." He laughed, smirking. Up ahead he could see something interesting. Two Nekos looked down at some bullies. Jacob and Martin to be exact. Micheal rolled his eyes again, and approched the group. One of the Nekos yelled down at the bullies. Micheal smirked, and rested his right hand on the handle of Yubashiri. "Oi! Listen to the man!" Micheal called towards the bullies. Jacob and Martin turned and saw Micheal smirking. He pushed Yubashiri out of it's sheath slightly, revealing the sharp blade. "Or I may have to show those kids back there how to use these things after all." The two boys gulped, and looked back at the Nekos, before back at Micheal. "Whatever, Keel! Leave it to a freak to defend two other freaks!" Jacob called, before the two boys walked off. "Bawk bawk bawk ba-CAWK!" Micheal taunting, imitating a chicken. Then he walked over to the wall. "So, I see you two Freshies have met Jacob and Martin. You'd do your best to stay away from them. They only listen to people who intimidate them. A.k.a. me." He called up, clicking Yubashiri back into it's sheath. "So, can I come up or will you attack me as well?" He asked, looking up.
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