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Old 05-28-2010, 01:01 AM
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Ken Offline
Elite Trainer
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Classified
Posts: 622
Default Corpses, Coffee, and Cuttlefish

Just a lil’ one shot fanfic about what happens if you try and wake up Robin.

Rated: K

Warnings: Slightly Crack xD


In the Kitchen of the Thousand Sunny – 2:08 a.m.

If you were on the Thousand Sunny at 2:08 a.m. then you would see that it was quiet. Completely quiet. Luffy, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Franky, and Brook slept in the men’s quarters. Zoro slept in the crow’s nest (even though he was supposed to be on night watch) and Nami and Robin slept in the Women’s quarters. Except from the loud snores practically radiating from the Men’s quarters and the crow’s nest, all was peaceful.

However, if you happened to walk into the Kitchen, you would see that not everybody was asleep. And that was the way it was tonight. Sitting in a chair at the table, reading, was a dark-haired young woman.

Robin diverted her eyes from the book she was reading to glance up at the clock. 2:08- no! Now the clock’s hands said 2:09 a.m. Robin rubbed her eyes, then looked back down at the book she was reading. “Ahhhh!” She yawned, before slumping onto the table, her head in her arms. “So… tired…” She mumbled, her eyes slowly drifting shut. While she told herself to stay awake and finish her book, her brain decided otherwise. Within seconds Robin had drifted off to sleep.

8:15 a.m.

“Is she… dead?”

“She’s not dead, Usopp. Don’t say stupid things.”

“But… she’s not moving…”

“Watch this. I’ll show you.”

All around the kitchen table, the Straw Hat pirates were gathered. And all of their eyes were on the unmoving body of Nico Robin. Usopp and Luffy were arguing in hushed whispers, until Luffy finally walked up to Robin. “L-Luffy? What are you doing?” Hissed Nami in a hushed whisper. “Shh.” Luffy shushed her, and then he bent over Robin. He raised one hand before poking her on her shoulder.


“I told you! She’s dead!” Wailed Usopp. “WHAT? ROBIN’S DEAD?” Cried Chopper, truly shocked. “Shut up!” Hissed Nami, glaring at the two immature males. The said boys recoiled, and nodded.

Meanwhile, at the table, Luffy pokes Robin again, and once again nothing happened. Luffy frowned. “Desperate times call for desperate actions.” He whispered, walking to the counter. “What are you doing?” Asked Sanji, getting on the defensive. Luffy grabbed the pot of warm coffee Sanji had recently made, and walked over to Robin.

“Uh… is he gonna pour her a cup and shove it down her throat or something?” Wondered Zoro aloud. “Knowing Luffy he won’t even bother with the cup.” Came Usopp’s hushed reply. “Good point… Is he gonna try and wake her up with the smell of it?” Asked Zoro, directing his question at Usopp. Usopp shrugged.

Next to Robin, Luffy took a deep breath, and walked around her to her left side. “I apologize for this, Robin.” He whispered. “Luffy…” Nami began, but alas! She never got the chance to finish. For Luffy placed his thumb and index finger on the collar of her shirt, and pulled it out a bit. “Oh...” Said Zoro, nodding. “What?” Demanded Nami, to which Zoro replied with a shake of his head. “Here goes…” Breathed Luffy. He moved the coffee pot over to Robin’s shirt, then poured some down the front of it, then jumped backwards in fear.

The result was instantaneous. Robin immediately sat up straight with a little surprised gasp, her hands slightly raised, before the chair fell over backwards and landed with a “thunk.” Nami covered her mouth, trying not to scream. Usopp and Chopper were cowering in fear, while Zoro was rolling on the floor laughing with Franky and Brook. On the other hand, Sanji was kicking Luffy. “TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT!” He roared, shouting with each kick. “I won’t do it again.” Moaned Luffy, fleeing the wrath of Sanji. Then he turned and walked over to Robin, looked down at her surprised face and wet shirt, then up at Usopp. “Told you she wasn’t dead.” He announced, triumphantly. “I wouldn’t be worried about that right now…” Whispered Usopp, still cowering.

On floor, Robin stared up at Luffy, then stood up in one fluid moment. “Captain-san…” She began, her voice dangerously low. Luffy looked over at her. “Yeah?” He asked, completely oblivious to the oncoming storm. Robin took a deep breath, before smiling. “Oh nothing,” She said sweetly, “I just have someone you should meet.” Luffy grinned, and jumped up and down. “Who? Who?” He demanded, happily. “This way.” Robin led him up to the deck. “Where is he? Or she?” Robin smiled, and brought him up to the bow of the boat. “Come over to here, and to the edge.” She instructed, and Luffy obliged. “What’s his name, Robin?” Luffy whined. “His name is Mr. Cuttlefish.” Robin answered. “Care to meet him?” Luffy grinned widely. “YEAH!” He shouted.

Moments later Zoro dived into the water to retrieve a drowning Luffy, while Nami tried to calm down a coffee-soaked Robin.


Reviews are appreciated.

Last edited by Ken; 05-29-2010 at 01:49 AM.
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