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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #16  
Old 07-31-2009, 10:57 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< NOTICE

*flops in* You rang? Meheh, I haven't had much time to read it (been stuck on a writers block and working over it); but it is, of course, good. Giratina has the right idea; some people are just readers; they like it, and don't really have anything to say, so they just pop right back out after reading it. No reason to go on a haitus. That's why the no double-posting rule for the fan fic boards is partially nullified (that, and for multi-post length chapters).

Keep posting chapters; people'll keep reading! *pulled out by an electromagnet*
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  #17  
Old 08-01-2009, 02:36 AM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< NOTICE

Lol, I think I just realized Nazo only have five quills (I'm still deciding, actually) XP Nice job on mixing the speech up Shell ^^

More action for me ^^

Lilac: Hey! Don't forget me!
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  #18  
Old 08-03-2009, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< NOTICE

Sorry Shell, I did read your chapter, it was just late at night when I did. ^^'
I copied the typos I found and saved them somewhere so I could put them up with the post...but I seem to have misplaced them.

You and your bad memory. =>.>=

Yeah, I can't help it. >.<

Anyway, I really liked the chapter you guys. So far, what you two have put together is really turning out. ^^
I can't wait to see where this plot goes. And Nazo has a Pokemon now. Cool. Keep at it! *thumbs up*

As for the typos I found, I guess I'll have to read through again.
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  #19  
Old 08-04-2009, 09:58 AM
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Default Re: ~ Eternity of Time ~ Prologue Up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
<Oh haha… hey wait!>[/I] The Eevee shouted as he noticed Iyoku leaving without him. Catching up to him and keeping up at an easy trot, Shourai asked more seriously, [I]<So do you have any idea of where the first Guardian is?>
Comma after 'Oh', 'hey' and 'So'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
“No unfortunately… but what I read in that library entailed that the trio of Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf are all found at lakes…
Comma after 'No'.

“Er…” He muttered,

In places like this, you should have a capital 'H'. The only time you have a capital after speech is if it's a new sentence. Also make sure you never have just one full stop to end speech unless it's the end of a sentence. ;P

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
“Calm down kid... I mean you no harm.
Comma after 'down'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
Iyoku shook his head, “and just why would I tell what my business is to someone like you?” He asked, starting to get a little nervous while Nazo kept his eyes on him.
Personally I'd not make the 'a' a lowercase. =/ Because it's not part of a previous sentence's speech. Also, again, the capital 'H' in 'He' should be lowercase. This happens quite a few times--I'll leave you to find them on your own. ;P

And lol, Kris, that's exactly what I did with chapter one! xD I swear I saved it, but yeah. :P Disappeared. :3 Well, I'm about to read chapter two, and when I do I'll catch those pesky typos. :D (Hopefully xD)

~Xanthe.
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  #20  
Old 08-04-2009, 05:11 PM
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Default Re: ~ Eternity of Time ~ Prologue Up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giratina View Post
Hmm. Wel, I finally got around to actually reading this. I'll say, it sounds pretty interesting. :3 And now, my thoughts.

PROLOGUE: The first thing I noticed: it was long. Really long. Almost too long to count as a prologue. Prologues, to most people, are simply things that come before the main story with no super-relevant plot details. In other words, optional reading. Having Iyoku learn what he had to do in the prologue would not be helpful to those who don't read prologues (there are some people out there), and in all honesty that could have passed very well for the first chapter. There was also what some people call a lot of info-dumping; for example, you could have cut out a good chunk of the lengthy explanation of what on Earth happened by taking the whole Planet Paralysis/Robotnik the Tyrant thing to the prologue, and leaving all of the more important stuff - such as Celebi and the other Emerald Holders - for chapter one.

CHAPTER ONE: Not much to say about this chapter, except that the action seems to be going a little too fast.

Also, a note on all the chapters so far: I understand Mesprit granting the Emerald to Iyoku without much hesitation, seeing as I assume she can read his emotions and whatnot (or maybe that's just Metal Coat fanon speaking), but I certainly hope the other Emeralds won't be as easy to obtain. Think about it - from what I know, Chaos Emeralds are items of unimaginable power, granted some time long ago to the stronger Pokémon in existence: namely, some Legendaries. And all of them will just to fork it over to some itty-bitty hedgehog with a shiny Eevee they find in their cave? Either Legendaries have some bad logic, or this is getting to be just a little bit too easy.

CHAPTER TWO: Not much to say. Still curious about the strangely-colored Luxury Ball, thou-

WHAAAAAAAAT?
On hiatus until two people respond? That's no way to write a fanfic!
[launches into angry ramble about how other people's lack of comments should not be a driving force in whether one should write a fic or not and how three weeks with no comments happens to her all the time, but she still wrote Metal Coat anyway]

...
Okay. In all seriousness, that's not a good idea. Other people shouldn't make you decide whether to continue writing or not. Did you know on the PokéCommunity Forums appearance of Metal Coat it didn't get even one comment until chapter sixteen? People write fanfiction because they want to add their creative two cents to the established fandom they love so much - in this case Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog. Lots of people don't even publish theirs anywhere - in fact, a good RL friend of mine has wrote an enormous crossover and never put it out to anybody. My point is, comments on a story don't matter if you want to write a story.

...Somebody else post here so we can get more chapters! D:<

Wow, well, if there's one thing I noticed by now, the best way to get attention to a fic is to put it on hiatus if no one responds XD
Don't worry though, I wasn't actually going to follow up on that ^^'
And since this post likely has way too many characters in it, I'll post the next chapter after this oO

Anyway, yes, Mesprit could read both their emotions, and that's why she trusted Iyoku with the first Chaos Emerald, but the next ones will be harder to get. After all, we can't have everything handed to us on a silver platter...In fact, we've written up to chapter twenty, and they still haven't gotten the second one yet XD


Quote:
Originally Posted by metal sonic View Post
*flops in* You rang? Meheh, I haven't had much time to read it (been stuck on a writers block and working over it); but it is, of course, good. Giratina has the right idea; some people are just readers; they like it, and don't really have anything to say, so they just pop right back out after reading it. No reason to go on a hiatus. That's why the no double-posting rule for the fan fic boards is partially nullified (that, and for multi-post length chapters).

Keep posting chapters; people'll keep reading! *pulled out by an electromagnet*
Yep, don't worry, I'll keep posting them ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
Lol, I think I just realized Nazo only have five quills (I'm still deciding, actually) XP Nice job on mixing the speech up Shell ^^

More action for me ^^

Lilac: Hey! Don't forget me!
Thanks, and it's a good thing we waited 'till chapter twenty to post, otherwise we'd probably be pretty pressured right now XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by k_pop View Post
Sorry Shell, I did read your chapter, it was just late at night when I did. ^^'
I copied the typos I found and saved them somewhere so I could put them up with the post...but I seem to have misplaced them.

You and your bad memory. =>.>=

Yeah, I can't help it. >.<

Anyway, I really liked the chapter you guys. So far, what you two have put together is really turning out. ^^
I can't wait to see where this plot goes. And Nazo has a Pokemon now. Cool. Keep at it! *thumbs up*

As for the typos I found, I guess I'll have to read through again.
That's why I keep everything on my jumpdrive...unless of course I forget it at home ^^'
Anyway, thanks for the reply XD


Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post

Personally I'd not make the 'a' a lowercase. =/ Because it's not part of a previous sentence's speech. Also, again, the capital 'H' in 'He' should be lowercase. This happens quite a few times--I'll leave you to find them on your own. ;P

And lol, Kris, that's exactly what I did with chapter one! xD I swear I saved it, but yeah. :P Disappeared. :3 Well, I'm about to read chapter two, and when I do I'll catch those pesky typos. :D (Hopefully xD)

~Xanthe.
Thanks for this one too, Xanthe, and after I fix up the typos, I shall post the third chapter (the fourth will still be posted on Friday).
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Last edited by Michelle8936; 08-04-2009 at 05:25 PM.
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  #21  
Old 08-04-2009, 05:45 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up

Chapter Three

Walking through the woods, Iyoku could sense the other Pokémon around him. They were wild, but posed no threat because there was plenty of food and water in this world for all. Iyoku knew it could also be a possibility that the two Zangoose who he’d fought with earlier could’ve spread the news, but he knew that not any two Pokémon had the same nature. His thoughts wandered back to the dragon duo; he knew what had happened – or at least had an idea of it, but he didn’t know how it had. “In the future, time and space themselves have collapsed, thus rendering the planet’s full paralysis…” he muttered to himself, “But, the question remains… How did it happen, and how can there still be anything there at all even after all that?” Looking up at the trees, he saw various berries were growing on the branches; several ready to be picked. Normally, one wouldn’t be able to see that well in the darkness like this, but after living in the constant, dim twilight of the future, Iyoku’s eyes could see very easily thanks to the moon and stars in the sky. Channeling some of his Aura to his shoes, he made a high jump, landing on the thickest branch with ease.

He picked a few of the large, veined leaves off the tree and intertwined them, making a small basket-like bag in the process. He grinned as he spotted a large cluster of Lum Berries; they were very rare and hard to find, but they could heal a Pokémon of any status ailment – or anyone else for that matter. He picked many of them, putting the green berries into his makeshift basket. He didn’t worry about them getting crushed however, because they were very hard. Once he had picked a decent number of them, he continued walking along the same branch, looking for other berries that could be useful. The grey hedgehog spotted more Sitrus Berries as well, and after adding those to his basket, he still looked for more. Iyoku had a feeling that this world was not composed entirely of forest, and therefore knew to stock up. Scanning the treetops, he finally saw what he’d been looking for; Salac Berries. They were known for increasing a Pokémon's speed in a pinch and had been much help in battles. The berry was not that good in cooking however; he and his own Pokémon had found that out the hard way. Salac Berries were horribly bitter and dry, but they still had their use in battle. Picking some of them, Iyoku didn’t realize he’d been gone for a while. He often lost track of time when he was finding medical and food supplies. But not only that; it was night out and he enjoyed it, especially when there was the wind to keep the remaining heat from the daylight hours at bay.


Lilac blinked, thoroughly enjoying the calm wind that ruffled her fur and the scents that it carried. After a minute or two, Nazo had figured out how to release her from the confinement of the Luxury Ball, and she had gone off into the forest to see what she could find. Lowering her muzzle to the ground, she took long, deep breaths, inhaling the aromas of the forest. A distinct smell reached her nostrils, and she padded forward, looking upwards at a large tree. Apricorns and berries of all kinds hung on its branches, enticing any Pokémon to come in closer for a look. Realizing that these supplies would be a great asset (particularly the apricorns, as she had observed Iyoku making a Poke Ball out of one), she looked around for a large leaf. Finding one, she took it carefully off the bush so as to not damage either. Dragging it over, she left it on the ground as she powerfully leapt up the tree. However, being a Houndour and not a Meowth, she scrambled to hold onto the branches, nearly falling off several times. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she was on a particularly thick branch, taking a few exhausted gasps. This is so not worth it... She was already up there however, so it made sense to keep going.


Iyoku started as he heard scratching noises coming from the opposite side of the tree. I bet that’s another Pokémon getting their meal, but I’ll check it out. Easily jumping from branch to branch on the other side of the tree, Iyoku had to keep from chuckling at the sight he saw. Lilac was doing her best to jump from tree branch to tree branch like he had done so effortlessly, but she was having slightly more trouble than he did.

By ‘slightly’, that meant almost falling off every time she made a jump to the next branch. He watched in amusement as she continued to make her way up the tree, no doubt going up higher after the Apricorns and berries at the top. The grey hedgehog leaned against the trunk and raised an eyebrow, wondering if he should tell her that he had already harvested all that they would need. Well, all that they would need for the next couple of weeks, anyway.

The Houndour's ears flicked in exhaustion in Iyoku's direction before she looked over, blinking her beautiful violet eyes in surprise. <Iyoku? What are you doing here?> She asked, caught off guard. He had gone into the forest, but she hadn't known to gather supplies. Glancing at the basket, she noticed he had filled it up to the brim with berries. Disappointed that the berries were taken care of, she remembered that there were also apricorns in this tree. Not only that...But she had smelled a very peculiar scent, one she had never scented before. Being naturally curious, she had wanted to check it out.

Iyoku spoke telepathically back to the Houndour; <I think that was pretty easy to figure out.> He then noticed that she caught a strange scent on the wind. He soon smelled it as well, and his eyes traced the very top canopy of the tree. <Something’s up there, want to go check it out?> He asked, easily making the jump over to the branch she was on.

A smile placed itself on her red muzzle as she agreed. Bunching her legs once more, she made a tremendous leap to the uppermost branches, albeit a little unstable at first. Pushing her petite head through the bushes, an audible gasp escaped her maw. In front of her was a cluster of black oblong shaped berries. They had a white sphere at the narrower end, the white climbing up in a question mark. She frankly couldn't believe it - Enigma berries were impossibly hard to find, and even harder to grow. They were mythical - rumored to contain the power of the stars; they also healed a Pokémon when hit by a super-effective attack. They were, admittedly, dry - but they were also spicy, making them good for hot recipes. Of course, that was only if one could get past the hard skin... <I wonder...> She thought out loud, an idea pricking her curious mind.

Making another easy jump up to the same branch that Lilac landed on, Iyoku was a little startled when he saw the Enigma Berries as well, but he wasn’t that surprised to see them. Frankly, he expected the unexpected by now. He studied the berries, knowing the origin of their name. It amused him slightly that Nazo shared the same name with the berries, but at the same time, he had a bad feeling something would happen if he ever ate one. He picked only a few of the berries because the entire cluster could die from being over picked, and put some off to the side in his basket, making sure not to get them mixed up with the others. He soon heard Lilac’s thought, and asked, <What is it?>

Lilac blinked, shaking her head, unaware that Iyoku had suspicions. <I was just wondering...Since these berries and Nazo share power over the stars, I wonder what would happen if he ate one. Like if he would get a power boost, or a new power for a limited time.> She closed her eyes, smiling to herself. <That would be AWESOME.> Lifting her muzzle, she delicately snipped some apricorns of varying colors with her teeth - making sure to only cut the stems and not damage the nuts themselves. They dropped to the ground with relatively loud thuds, but due to their hardness, the fall wouldn't have hurt them. <Maybe we should tell him it's a sweet berry - he'll be in for a surprise when he discovers it is spicy!> She imagined her partner's face, and the hedgehog running (and dunking) his head in the river to ease the pain from the heat. Yeah, I'm a little mean. She snickered quietly to herself.

Iyoku couldn’t help but snicker at the idea of Nazo dunking his head underwater, but he still had a feeling something bad would happen if he did ever eat one of the Enigma berries. <I have a bad feeling that something could happen if he eats one of those, but…> he grinned mischievously, <I have some even spicier berries that I found back in Celebi’s woods. Want to try with those?> He asked as he swiftly jumped back down to the ground.

Following the grey hedgehog, Lilac pawed the apricorns into the large leaf she had found earlier, tying it up as best she could before gripping it in her jaws. <Something bad? I don't see how a berry could do that...> She thought quietly, before a wider grin firmly set itself on her face. <Really? Tee hee, this is going to be very amusing! With any luck, he won't lose faith in us. I wonder if he played any pranks when he was young...> She thought to her self. <At least, before he died.> The last one, although directed to Iyoku, seemed to be an afterthought.

Iyoku snickered, and then frowned slightly at Lilac’s last remark; <He’s died before? How?> However, he soon shook his head, disregarding the question he’d just asked. <I suppose it isn’t my place to ask.>

Lilac followed Iyoku, a little uneasy. <To tell you the truth, I don't know. I heard he died when he was ten. I also heard it was a sudden and brutal death...But you'll have to ask him yourself. He said he was going to tell you about his past...>

A mischievous grin reappeared on his face at the thought of Nazo’s reaction to the very spicy berry that Iyoku had saved in his bag. However, upon entering the campsite, the grey hedgehog resumed his normal, neutral expression. Walking over to his bag, he slipped each of the berries into their own pouches so as not to mix them up, and then brought out a large, red berry shaped somewhat like a tomato with dull knobs sticking out of it at various angles. He grinned to himself, cutting off a piece of the large berry, and then wrapped it in a leaf so the rest would not spoil. Putting it back in the bag, Iyoku took a small piece himself and ate it, being very fortunate that he loved spicy foods. Of course, Nazo didn't know the true flavour of the berry.

The Houndour sat down the wrapped apricorns next to the hedgehog's bag, turning her attention to the sky blue one sitting on a rock. Padding over, she was surprised to find him staring at a stone. She thought he was actually asleep with his eyes opened, when he spoke and scared the snot out of her. “Look at this, Lilac. See the speckles of purple?” Peering closer, what he said was true - very tiny dots of purple shined within the ordinary rock, and she couldn't help but smile. “Amethyst. It is a rare gem - you have the same color eyes as this gem does. Perhaps...” Taking another rock, he smacked it against the other, chipping away some of the dull stone to reveal more of the gem. “I had a feeling... If I chip away all of this rock, it will reveal the gem inside.” Lilac could only stare, amazed. The rock was decent sized, bigger than an average person's fist, and the jewel was just barely covered by the stone. Whatever came out of it would be huge. However... He was so distracted by this, he probably wouldn't notice he was eating something spicy - until it was too late.

Hiding a wry grin, Iyoku took the piece of berry to where Lilac and Nazo were; the latter apparently explaining a gemstone called an amethyst to the Houndour. Taking a look at the stone himself, Iyoku realized that the gem would be very large, and then asked, “you want to try one of these berries? I’ve had some before; they’re really good.” He held out the food as if he was doing the most casual thing in the world.
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Last edited by Michelle8936; 09-29-2011 at 01:06 AM.
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  #22  
Old 08-04-2009, 05:46 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< NOTICE

“Hmmm? What? Sure...” The hedgehog absentmindedly mumbled, taking the berry and popping it in his mouth. Lilac watched, waiting for him to say something as he chewed it. She watched him swallow it, and disappointment bubbled up in her throat. Nazo continued to chip away at the rock, and Lilac was about to turn around and leave when she noticed the first beads of sweat on his forehead. He hadn't really noticed - wiping the sweat away and continuing on. However, once his hands had started to shake slightly, he knew something was up. Once Nazo had snapped his focus away from the rock he was so diligently working on, he became painfully aware of the heat that was coursing through his body. With a yelp, he was a blur as he dashed over to the river, cupping his hands and scooping up water as he attempted to put out the fire raging in his throat. Lilac grinned to herself even more when, in sheer desperation, Nazo did what she had hoped - dunking his whole head into the cool river. This of course caused the Houndour to roll over onto her back in laughter, sides heaving in an effort to draw in breath.

Upon seeing Nazo’s reaction, Iyoku began laughing so hard he almost fell over. There hadn’t been much to laugh about before… but now? Fortunately, the other Pokémon were in their Poke Balls again… all except for Shourai, who promptly began laughing so hard that he, unlike Iyoku, had actually fallen down and was rolling on the ground laughing.

Nazo spluttered, coughing as he pulled his now soaking head from the river. “What was that?!?” He growled, more in confusion than in anger. Upon noticing Lilac, Shourai, and Iyoku, a gleam in his eyes showed he had figured it out. “Very funny you three. I have half a mind to toss all of you into the river right now! Thankfully for you, I have had quite enough of water for today.” Lilac couldn't help but continue laughing despite the fact she had pulled a prank on a very dangerous person. Heck, he could've been Arceus and she would still be laughing as hard!

Taking a couple deep breaths, Iyoku finally managed to calm down enough to talk, although a few snickers still escaped. “That was a piece of Tamato Berry,” he said, “Consider yourself lucky I didn’t give you the whole thing.” However, just the thought of what would’ve happened had Iyoku indeed given Nazo the entire berry was enough to get him laughing again, although he tried his best to muffle it.

And, while Iyoku was just laughing at it, that same idea had Shourai laughing even harder before the two finally calmed down enough to speak regularly. However, the Eevee was still snickering; bet he’s gonna pay more attention to what he eats now.

Nazo could only glare at the three. “Next time, the joke shall be on you.” He was trying his best not to show his anger - there wasn't anything to be angry about, aside from the intense pain he had been in. Lilac herself had eventually calmed down, wondering what other reactions he would have to different berries. Although, he would be very careful from now on whenever Iyoku gave him something.

Hiding more snickers, Iyoku went back to sit against the tree he had been leaning against before, and, picking up what he had paused before going into the woods, he continued to hollow out the apricorn. Meanwhile, Shourai sat down next to the fire, his ears pricked and listening to the night sounds of the forest.

While Nazo returned to chipping the rock, Lilac padded over to Iyoku, her eyes stern. <...Do you really trust Nazo? We just pulled this prank on him, yeah... But you don't really talk to him. You both obviously have bad pasts... Or futures, for that matter. That makes you both alike. Talk to him. I think it will help both of you.> That said, Lilac padded back over to the fire, laying down with a contented sigh.

Iyoku exchanged glances with Shourai as the Eevee watched him through one open eye, the other closed. <She’s right, you know. It would help to talk about it.>

<Yeah, I know, but… It’s getting rather late out, I’ll try tomorrow.>

The Normal Type glared at him halfheartedly as he closed his other eye, trying to fall asleep. If he keeps putting things like that off, he won’t get the chance later…But at the same time… I can’t exactly blame him for his wariness.

Nazo barely paid attention to the others, chipping away at the rock and exposing more of the precious gem inside. Every so often his aura flickered as if alive, casting a soft glow that mixed with the fire. If Nazo hadn't earned the reputation he now carried upon his shoulders, many girls would have fallen in love with his pelt. The hedgehog cast one yellow-green eye up to the stars above, as if silently wondering what the next day would bring.

As he looked at the now-completed Fast Ball he had just set the inside of, Iyoku knew there were other things he had to finish as well. Shrinking the ball to the small size used for storage, he put it away in his bag, and then finally decided he had to ask Nazo about his past. Shourai and Lilac were right, if he didn’t do anything tonight, he wouldn’t be too likely to end up having a chance later. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a feeling things were going to get very chaotic the next day… With two Chaos Emeralds, they would be a prime target for anyone who happened to be seeking them out. He got up noiselessly and walked over to where Nazo was sitting, still uncovering the amethyst from the stone he had found earlier. “You said you were going to tell me about your past, so… Would now be a good time?” he asked a little hesitantly.

Nazo looked up, his eyes showing no anger at the question Iyoku had just asked. “Indeed. If you wish, I shall tell you my tale.” He moved over on the rock he had sat down on, leaving enough room for Iyoku to sit down alongside him. “Now, where should I begin? I suppose I should start at the beginning, before my life was flipped upside down.” During this time, he continued to chip away at the rock. “My home life was nothing out of the ordinary. I never knew my parents, instead I lived with my grandfather. However, due to his old age, he soon passed away when I was only about six.” He sighed, shaking his head. “It was soon after that I was attacked by a wolf, which I barely survived.” A small shudder rippled through the hedgehog, before he continued. “My past times involved searching for rocks and sharpening my spearing abilities. However...I soon began to bully a hedgehog named Sonic.” He stopped, eyebrows furrowed.

Iyoku sat next to the sky-blue hedgehog, listening with interest to the story he was telling. However, he blinked as he recognized the name of the other one Nazo had said he’d been bullying. If he knew Sonic… Could that mean he knew Shadow as well? And what about that Huwing, Cami? He noticed that Nazo had paused, and then said, “Well, keep going.”

Nazo shook his head, snapping himself out of his daze. “Yes. Well, I remember that I beat Sonic...I disliked him for being different. One day, he had enough. I was standing on a cliffside, gazing out at the sea, when he confronted me. In a heated argument, he pushed me over the cliff...I remember falling, bashing my head across a rock to leave the scar on my forehead...And then, I remember – briefly - being impaled on the rocks below. I was killed instantly...At the age of ten.” The hedgehog sighed, putting down the rock he had been working on. “However...My soul could not rest. I was preyed upon by an evil force who went by the name of Tatsujin.” He stopped once more, anger sparking in his eyes. It evidently wasn't a name he liked to remember.

Iyoku continued to listen; he couldn’t judge other people and wouldn’t. He couldn't deny that it was wrong Nazo had been acting like so towards Sonic, but Sonic’s reaction, although expected, was not right either. However, he recognized the name Tatsujin, although he was very careful not to show it. I can’t be sure it’s the same one… Is it?

Nazo took a deep breath, continuing. “I do not remember the next two years, I am afraid - no matter how hard I have tried. I believe that is the time Pokémon began arriving.” He looked thoughtful. “However, I awoke when I was twelve, in a tube of sorts. I did not know what was going on, except I looked like I do now. I was bitterly angry at Sonic, but being older, I knew I had been wrong. I retaliated against Tatsujin, severely injuring him, but was defeated due to my inexperience with my powers. For the next year, Tatsujin spent time recovering, but there was more...He split my soul in to two, keeping the logical part with him and letting my vengeful part take over my body.” He shook his head. “I trained then, until I was sixteen...The age I am now.” A hiss escaped through the hedgehog's lips, his fur ever so ruffled. “He attacked this planet. He was the reason Shadow's creator went insane. He was the reason Cami's village, and nearly her whole kind, was destroyed. I killed so many, I had no control. I drove Sonic insane, using him like a puppet...” He clenched his fists, grief washing over his features.

Iyoku was silent for several seconds, and then spoke, “While I won't judge anyone’s actions… As you said, it was Tatsujin doing those things, not you. Anyone who has a heart would do their best to stop something like that, and given what Mesprit said earlier about the regret of your past actions…” he trailed off, remembering something that he had tried to forget through the years. Funny how a single event can turn a person’s life inside-out…

Nazo sighed. “Yes, but I was so helpless. The only one who thought there was more to the situation was the Huwing, who I am ever grateful to. Even though I killed their god, Terrador, and the betrayal of one of their Elders. That same Elder, Kurai, later fused with me and took control...I was turned into a monster. He fought against Shadow, whom had fused with Cami to become a being of light. During that time, I communicated with Cami, and instructed her to kill us.” His eyes turned wistful as he recalled the somber moment. “She was so sad...Yet she did it. Shadow and Kurai had entered their most powerful stages, Shadow cornered the Huwing. I was able to stall his body, while Cami took control and sliced the jugular, ending both Kurai's life...And mine.” He sighed, blinking. “That was a few months ago. Sonic sacrificed himself to kill Tatsujin, and was brought back with the Emeralds. As for me...” He trailed off. “I do not know how I was brought back to the living. I could be a spirit for all I know.” He looked at Iyoku, eyes stern yet wise. “Be thankful for every living moment, Iyoku. You never know when it will be taken away from you, and you never know if you will ever get it back.”

Iyoku only nodded somberly, “Yeah… It’s a lesson my Pokémon and I have to learn all too well and often.” Then he paused, “Which reminds me,” he muttered in a barely audible tone to himself, “Celebi said that the Chaos Emerald she gave me was the last that existed in the future… Since that’s the case, I wonder what happened to the others?” he turned, watching Shourai sleeping by the bag that had the two emeralds inside. What in the world could’ve caused them to be destroyed?

Nazo's ear flicked as he caught what Iyoku had muttered. “The Emeralds...Were destroyed?” He crossed his arms, thinking to himself. “The only thing I can think of that could destroy the Chaos Emeralds is an overload of Chaos Energy. Anything, whether it is alive or non-living, will destroy itself if too much energy is sent through them. However, the question here is if that indeed destroyed them, and if so, what delivered the fatal amount?” He thought carefully. A being made of Chaos Energy could easily send their energy into the emeralds to destroy them...And apparently it must have happened in this time. The only creatures with access to a large enough amount of this energy, however, were either himself or Shadow. Although...What if there is someone else I do not have knowledge of?

Iyoku shook his head, “Well, I can safely say I hadn’t even heard of the Chaos Emeralds until that day… So whatever or whoever destroyed them must have done it in the past.” Then he snorted, “That… Trying to find the cause of that could take a while, given that there’s a two-thousand year difference between now and the future.”

Nazo sighed, shaking his head. “Patience is key - that much I know. It is quite a conundrum, but one that could be the key. The Chaos Emeralds help maintain balance, and in some hands in can be a powerful tool to save others. Just as easily, it could also be a tool of destruction. There is a good chance the paralysis of the planet, along with the untimely demises of the Emeralds, could be related.” He stopped briefly, before continuing. “The answers will come - perhaps in finding one, the other will follow.”

The hedgehog looked upwards, a yawn escaping his mouth. “It is late. We should rest and gather our strength for tomorrow.”


~

Okay, let mehself and Grassy know what you think ^^

I swear, that prank gets funnier every time XD
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  #23  
Old 08-05-2009, 09:57 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

XD That was so funny...XD

Quote:
I bet that’s another Pokemon getting their meal, but I’ll check it out.
You forgot to italicize ^^

And ye Kris, he has a pokemon with him now ^^ Were you surprised I chose Nazo to be my main character? XD


*Glaring at Iyoku* Just wait, Iyoku...Just you wait.

Lilac: *Snickering* Classic!
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Old 08-06-2009, 05:16 AM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

I kinda was Grassy, but I'm glad you did. He's fitting well. ^^

Okies! I read the new chapter, and I found what I lost from the last one. ^^
First things first though...

I really liked the new chapter. It was cool to hear Nazo's past from his point. ^^

That prank was awesome! XD *whacked*

*holding a busted racket* Where was I?
Oh yeah, the Emeralds. If he brought one from the future, then wouldn't it still be in the past? You know, whole Back to the Future scenario. ^^'

*giggles* You mean like, don't let your future self see your past self or you'll disrupt the ..space-time...continuum. =o.O=

I think you just said more than you planned to. oO
Anyway, keep it coming. I'm interested to hear about the past that Iyoku was thinking about. ^^

Time to kill typos. ^^
First, Chapter 2...

Quote:
His white shoes tapped the ground before ceasing as his ears twitched towards the forest behind him, before he focused back on the rock.
You said "before" twice in one sentence. ^^'

Quote:
After all, he had died once before and then revived by dark powers.
Maybe, "and was then revived..."

Quote:
With a single flap of its eight-foot long wings, they were airborne and miles above the forest.
Really? That high up? XD Sorry, just had to say something. I don't think anyone would be able to see anything but a tiny dot. ^^'

Now, Chapter 3...

Quote:
Iyoku snickered, and then frowned slightly at Lilac’s last remark; <he’s died before? How?> However, he soon shook his head, disregarding the question he’d just asked. <I suppose it isn’t my place to ask.> A mischievous grin reappeared on his face at the thought of Nazo’s reaction to the very spicy berry that Iyoku had saved in his bag.

Upon entering the campsite however, the grey hedgehog resumed his normal, neutral expression. Walking over to his bag, he slipped each of the berries into their own pouches so as not to mix them up, and then brought out a large, red berry shaped somewhat like a tomato with dull knobs sticking out of it at various angles.

He grinned to himself, cutting off a piece of the large berry, and then wrapped it in a leaf so the rest would not spoil. Putting it back in the bag, Iyoku took a small piece himself and ate it, being very fortunate that he loved spicy foods. Of course, Nazo did not know the true flavour of the berry.

Lilac followed Iyoku, a little uneasy. <To tell you the truth, I don't know. I heard he died when he was ten. I also heard it was a sudden and brutal death...But you'll have to ask him yourself. He said he was going to tell you about his past...> She sat down the wrapped apricorns next to the hedgehog's bag, turning her attention to the sky blue one sitting on a rock. Padding over, she was surprised to find him staring at a stone. She thought he was actually asleep with his eyes opened, when he spoke and scared the snot out of her.
That needs combined better. Just put Lilac's response after where he said it wasn't his place to ask. ^^'

Quote:
Iyoku was silent for several seconds, and then spoke, “while I won't judge anyone’s actions…
Quote:
Iyoku only nodded somberly, “yeah… it’s a lesson my Pokemon and I have to learn all too well and often.” Then he paused, “which reminds me,”
When they are speaking a new sentence, capitalize. There might have been a couple other places like that. ^^'
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Old 08-06-2009, 02:55 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
XD That was so funny...XD


You forgot to italicize ^^

And ye Kris, he has a pokemon with him now ^^ Were you surprised I chose Nazo to be my main character? XD


*Glaring at Iyoku* Just wait, Iyoku...Just you wait.

Lilac: *Snickering* Classic!
Can't believe I didn't notice that >.> *Fixed*

Hey, at least I don't pull another one on you for a few more chapters XD

Oh yeah, totally classic XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by k_pop View Post
I kinda was Grassy, but I'm glad you did. He's fitting well. ^^

Okies! I read the new chapter, and I found what I lost from the last one. ^^
First things first though...

I really liked the new chapter. It was cool to hear Nazo's past from his point. ^^

That prank was awesome! XD *whacked*

*holding a busted racket* Where was I?
Oh yeah, the Emeralds. If he brought one from the future, then wouldn't it still be in the past? You know, whole Back to the Future scenario. ^^'

*giggles* You mean like, don't let your future self see your past self or you'll disrupt the ...space-time...continuum. =o.O=

I think you just said more than you planned to. oO
Anyway, keep it coming. I'm interested to hear about the past that Iyoku was thinking about. ^^

Time to kill typos. ^^
First, Chapter 2...


You said "before" twice in one sentence. ^^'


Maybe, "and was then revived..."


Really? That high up? XD Sorry, just had to say something. I don't think anyone would be able to see anything but a tiny dot. ^^'

Now, Chapter 3...


That needs combined better. Just put Lilac's response after where he said it wasn't his place to ask. ^^'


When they are speaking a new sentence, capitalize. There might have been a couple other places like that. ^^'
Yep, I already fixed all the typos from chapters one and two - you already posted them - look on the first page XD *Fixes the others*

I have a bad feeling something would happen even if it was only one of the other emeralds from that time that came in contact, not just the past self of that one oO *Has the green emerald double wrapped*
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

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Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
Can't believe I didn't notice that >.> *Fixed*

Hey, at least I don't pull another one on you for a few more chapters XD

Oh yeah, totally classic XD


Yep, I already fixed all the typos from chapters one and two - you already posted them - look on the first page XD *Fixes the others*

I have a bad feeling something would happen even if it was only one of the other emeralds from that time that came in contact, not just the past self of that one oO *Has the green emerald double wrapped*
Haha! I think I'm gonna like this kid! XD

*facewing*


Eh? I didn't fix anything from Chapter 2 before. Did I? ... *thinks* No, I didn't. *shakes head*

I still hope something bad doesn't happen when you find the last one. =^-^'=
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:28 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

Just wait 'till later >:3

Yeah, you did ^^'
Look at the errors you pointed out, and look where they would've been.


Remember what happened last time you kept arguing?

She was bending over to pick up a laundry basket and her pants ripped XD

HEY! D:<

I think it's some kind of karma thing, but whatever, it's hilarious XD

Heheheh, anyone up for a banana split? XD

*Snickering* How about a ripple? ^^
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:12 PM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

*facepalm* Crap! Those are from Chapter 1 aren't they? I was all excited cause I thought I found the missing typos I saved from Chapter 2.
*crosses arms* Well anyway, I still win the argument cause I still never showed you any typos from Chapter 2.

Do you have to be right? =^-^'=

YES! ... .... ... Well, actually no. But it helps. ^^


*laughing hysterically* Split! XD
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Old 08-07-2009, 12:23 AM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

Yep. Just wait Kris-I'm not going to go easy on the hedgehog.

*Busts out gut laughing about the whole pants incident* Bwahahaha! XD

Lilac: Yeah, she was panticly begging for karma to get her XD *Smacked by Shadow*

I tell the bad jokes around here! Hmm...

I bet Iyoku and the other's sides were splitting when that happened XD
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Old 08-07-2009, 04:10 AM
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Default Re: >Eternity of Time< Chapter Three Up!

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Originally Posted by Grassy_Aggron View Post
Yep. Just wait Kris-I'm not going to go easy on the hedgehog.

*Busts out gut laughing about the whole pants incident* Bwahahaha! XD

Lilac: Yeah, she was panticly begging for karma to get her XD *Smacked by Shadow*

I tell the bad jokes around here! Hmm...

I bet Iyoku and the other's sides were splitting when that happened XD
Why doesn't that surprise me? -.-

*falls over laughing* Splitting! XD

*raises an eyebrow at Reggie* He's gonna hurt himself.

I just can't believe that Shadow admitted to telling bad jokes. ^^'
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