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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 02-13-2009, 07:50 AM
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Default Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG] - Book Two

.;Through the Eyes of a Flareon;.



Hey, everyone! This is my first story on PE2K. (I've written plenty that aren't here. In fact, too many to count. x)

It's about a flareon (OMG NO WAY) called Dusty. Dusty is a regular flareon who travels with her master, her best friend--who is a leafeon called Izante, and her best friend's trainer. I used to have a blurb thing here, but I got rid of it to avoid spoilers. xD

Also, this got fan fic of the year, 2010 in case anyone was wanted to know


NOTES:

#1 This story may contain words like: "damn", "hell", ('what the hell' kinda thing), "arse" (yes, the Aussie, Canadian or UK version xD) and "bloody". However, there is the use of the, uh... *coughfemaledogwordcough* But it won't contain words too bad, and I'll use asterisks to bleep them out. xD And I would only use the words if it was for a character's personality, as well. :3 Same with when I'd ever use blasphemy. Thanks for understanding! :D ...If you do! xD
#2 Please, please go ahead and laugh at my names. Most of them I make up, but some of them I don't. x3 They may sound dumb or weird, but that's me for ya! :D
#3 The first few chapters are short, but they get longer. OH, and I also change from capitalising pokemon species names and the word 'pokemon' itself to lowercase because I see it from the same point of view as Scy... It seems weird to capitalise them now.
#4 It takes a lot of inspiration and motivation to write chapters, and they may take a long time. +_+ Sorry, dudes. :P
#5 It's PG for the following reasons:
a. Swearing/cursing. Some letters may be bleeped out with asterisks.
b. Blood and wounds in some parts, and also violence.
#6 I have animals in my pokemon fics--and insects. I don't have big animals like horses or lions or anything, though. :P Just fish, maybe birds, lizards, frogs and mice, etc.
#7 I am Australian, which means I use UK/Canadian/Australian spelling of things, which includes using 's' instead of 'z' in a lot of words, and adding a 'u' to words containing an 'a' right before. Keep this in mind. x)


I AM IN THE PROCESS OF GOING BACK AND EDITING EVERY CHAPTER UP UNTIL THE MOST RECENT ONES TO CHANGE THINGS LIKE FAIL-GRAMMAR AND TO FIX UP SENTENCE ARRANGEMENTS AND WHATNOT. I AM ALSO GOING BACK TO EDIT ALL THE CAPITALISED POKEMON SPECIES NAMES AND OTHER THINGS LIKE ATTACKS AND ITEMS.

NOTE: As of 1st October 2012, I have edited all the chapters I wanted to edit and went back and rewrote a lot of the story. Now there are no more to edit, so YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Blue = has been edited/refined.
Red = needs to be edited/refined. (WOO, NO MORE OF THESE!)
Purple = recent enough to not need to be edited/refined.
Brown = only needs minor editing/refining. (WOOOOO NO MORE OF THESE EITHER!)
Grey = chapter is not yet written/posted.
Black = LOL.


Chapters:

Book One: Voyage

Chapter one: The Battle
Part One

Part Two
Chapter Two: Night Sky
Chapter Three: Abduction!
Chapter Four: The Capture
Chapter Five: Boxed and Caged
Chapter Six: High Seas
Part One

Part Two
Chapter Seven: Escape Plan
Part One

Part Two
Chapter Eight: Fighting for Freedom
Part One

Part Two
Chapter Nine: Rough and Tough
Chapter Ten: Futile Conflict
Part One

Part Two
Chapter Eleven: Attempted Murder
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twelve: Unpredicted Revelation
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Chapter Thirteen: Washed Up
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Fourteen: Travelling Just Drags On
Part One

Part Two
Part Three

Chapter Fifteen: A Wet Quest (Oh, Dam!)
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Sixteen: The What-sters?
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Seventeen: A Tour
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
TtEoaF Special: Parody
Chapter Eighteen: Expedition Challenge
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Nineteen: Tasting the New Life
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twenty: Stories
Part One

Part Two
Part Three

Book Two: Uncovered

Chapter Twenty-one: Confrontation
Part One

Part Two
Chapter Twenty-two: Interrogations
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twenty-three: Separate Paths
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twenty-four: Past and Present
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twenty-five: Unearthed
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twenty-six: Knock-knock
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Chapter Twenty-seven: Attracting the Wrong Crowd
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Chapter Twenty-eight: Aim and Fire
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Chapter Twenty-nine: All Shapes and Sizes
Part One

Part Two
Part Three
Part Four


DUE TO STORIES BEING STOLEN, I'M PUTTING UP THIS FORM (my idea xD):

Fan-Fiction Name: Through the Eyes of a Flareon
Sites Posted On: Here, deviantART and Fanfiction.net.
Reported Sites: None. Hopefully it will stay that way. =/

If my story is seen anywhere else, please let me know as soon as possible. Thanks, guys! :D



Sorry guys; no more guest stars! But thanks to all those who did! :D

Attacks I've made up are here.


ART THAT ISN'T DRAWN BY ME FOR THIS STORY:
Shadow-Lightning of DA:
A random Dusty drawing! 8D.
Dusty, not a scene in the story, though.
Scy:
Dusty, Izante and Raiys around a lake.
Dusty Portrait
Dusty: Fire Spin
Embreon:
A scene from Futile Conflict
Joltstorm
'Meeting the Devil' - from Unpredicted Revelation
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 10-12-2012 at 04:17 AM.
  #2  
Old 02-13-2009, 08:35 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

This looks pretty good so far-the description and the battle were great! I don't know anything about the plot yet, so I can't say anything about that, but I'm excited to see where this goes.

I found a few mistakes:

Quote:
Especially since the attack was one of the worse to hit me.
worst

Quote:
“FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FIRE!” I out-burst, boiling hot flames inside me.
I can understand what this meant but it sounded a little strange. Maybe "yelled" or "screamed in anger" would be better?

Quote:
My friend swung around and savagely used a Leaf Blade attack with her tail on the Golem, which injured the foe badly due to the super effectiveness.
This also sounded a little strange, but I'm not sure if it's really wrong or not. I think putting "due to its type disadvantage" instead would sound better^^


I liked the brief part at the beginning explaining a little bit of Dusty's history before the battle, and I liked the battle as well because it was both exciting and it wasn't too easy-I don't like predictable fights so this one was really interesting. One thing I think you should include in the next chapter is the emotions and feelings of the opponent's pokémon as well as the two main characters' emotions. It can be easy to show from the main character's point of view.

I'm excited to know what the plot of this will turn out to be, so I'll be sure to keep reading future chapters! (Also, about the Guest Star thing, would I be able to make a character?)

Good luck on your story!
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  #3  
Old 02-13-2009, 08:42 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
This looks pretty good so far-the description and the battle were great! I don't know anything about the plot yet, so I can't say anything about that, but I'm excited to see where this goes.

I found a few mistakes:


worst


I can understand what this meant but it sounded a little strange. Maybe "yelled" or "screamed in anger" would be better?


This also sounded a little strange, but I'm not sure if it's really wrong or not. I think putting "due to its type disadvantage" instead would sound better^^


I liked the brief part at the beginning explaining a little bit of Dusty's history before the battle, and I liked the battle as well because it was both exciting and it wasn't too easy-I don't like predictable fights so this one was really interesting. One thing I think you should include in the next chapter is the emotions and feelings of the opponent's pokémon as well as the two main characters' emotions. It can be easy to show from the main character's point of view.

I'm excited to know what the plot of this will turn out to be, so I'll be sure to keep reading future chapters! (Also, about the Guest Star thing, would I be able to make a character?)

Good luck on your story!
xD Thanks about the mistakes! I'll fix 'em up. About the "out-burst" thing, it would probably be better in a different context. xD
The type disadvantage comment sounds way better than "super effectiveness", lol.

And, uh, the thing is...I kinda already have about 6 chapters written already, so yeah. x3 I think there's a bit more emotion in part two for the Golem, and the reason I didn't include any there is because, well, it is from Dusty's point of view which means I can't interpret other Pokemon's feelings as well as I could without the whole first-person view thing.

But anyways, thanks a bunch for your comments Scy, and I'm glad you liked it! :D

And yeah, go for it! It would be happy for you to have a character. :D I don't know how long I would have them in for, though. :O And they might not appear till later in the story. :3

~GS.

EDIT: I had to post the chapter here because there were too many characters in the first post!



Chapter one: The Battle


I stood by the side of my best friend.

The only friend I had had in a long time who understood me. She would always be there to comfort me in the darkest of times, and help me along the way when things got tough. The fact that we were both females only made it easier to connect. We were meant to be best buddies. And we knew it.

Although she did have a somewhat different way of expressing herself and going about things, we both felt comforted by one another. Ever since I was a little eevee, my trainer and I would search all over the regions for new pokémon to befriend. We came across thousands upon thousands of pokémon throughout our journey, but not once did I admire a pokémon the same way I look up to Izante.

One day, when I was still an eevee, both my trainer and I happened to bump into a human. A male human. Straight away did I sense a something special between him and my female trainer, and I was happy for her. She seemed attracted to this gentleman, as did he to her. And that had to mean his pokémon would make a great friend.

It was that same fateful day when I met Izante, of course. She too was an eevee, but we both eventually evolved. She had evolved first, growing many new features. The deep green curvy leaf on the top of her head had waved while her sword-like tail, being almost fully green, had danced in the soft breeze. Her whole body became a light, sandy cream colour, matching her large head. Her big brown eyes were full of wonder, but not the slightest bit of wisdom. She had brown socks on her paws, or so they were called because of the colour change from the maize. Her ears were big and nicely shaped, and were an emerald green colour, with obvious, darker green veins flowing through them, resembling leaf veins. These same lines scribbled her tail. She was as beautiful as the Moon's reflection shining off the sparkling surface of a lake back then, and just the same today.

The thought of ‘today’ caught me off guard and snapped me back into the present. The sweet smell of a near-victory passed through my nostrils as I stared back at the two pokémon that Izante and I were facing, eying them carefully. They must have thought about the irony of two female eevee evolutions up against them at once. Maybe the combination of a flareon and leafeon together was perhaps a little bit intimidating. However, there was no way I could have known. The two pokémon in front of me had minds that I clearly had no access to.

One of the pokémon was a butterfree, who was a butterfly pokémon with large rounded wings, each twice the size of her body. The wings had black trails flowing through and outlining them like thin string. Her body – not too much bigger than her head - was a deep purple, and she had two red orbs for eyes on either side of her face. A small mouth-like feature was placed below in the centre of her head, under the eyes, which had two small pointy white teeth poking out. Two blue feet, the same colour as its three-pronged small paws, were dangling from the body, and a long pair of antennae protruded from the top of the butterfree's head like two strands of hair. The pokémon was hovering above ground by slowly beating her large wings back and forth.

The second opponent was a golem—a very round and heavy boulder-like pokémon. His small, snake-like head was copper, holding two vicious eyes with scarlet irises. There were two strong arms poking out both sides of the Rock pokémon, embedded with three fingers that had sharp claws on the ends. The two powerful legs under his body were obviously strong, being able to support his weight.

Seeing as the golem was a rock and ground type pokémon, Izante had been attacking him, as she had the advantage. The butterfree, however, was all mine. The few fire attacks that I had launched at her seemed to have weakened her quite a bit, and I could see her panting with exhaustion. Obviously, we had the upper hand.

Izante glanced at me with a grin and frowning eyes, making her appearance malicious-looking. I reflected her expression, thinking that this battle would end now if not sooner.

“Dusty!” called my master. I flung my head towards her. The long brown wavy fur on her head swayed in the wind as the calls reached my ears. The small hazel eyes on her face glinted as sunlight passed through them. Her expression was filled with determination and belief in me. I was so lucky to have such a trainer. “Attack that butterfree with a flamethrower!” she commanded, and I nodded a brief ‘okay’.

I took less than a second to lock onto my target before a hot jet of streaming flames shot towards the bug and flying foe. “Hhaaaaa!!” I called into the afternoon light.

The two trainers we were up against commanded their golem to block the attack, and the fire did not harm him in the slightest. ‘What a waste of energy!’ I thought, scoffing as the golem barely felt the warm fire against his rock shell. But that was when Izante jumped in. She had probably been thinking along the same lines as me. Great minds think alike!

My friend swung around and savagely used a leaf blade attack with her tail on the golem, which injured the foe badly due to the type disadvantage.

I seized the chance of an off-guarded butterfree, and released a stream of fire onto her frail body, scorching her and causing the butterfly pokémon to shriek in pain. I smiled greasily with satisfaction. It wasn't too often that I was involved with trainer battles – because they weren’t easy to stumble upon – and when I was, I loved to win and know that I was controlling the fight—relating to power and advantages.

The butterfree reeled back and fluttered her broad wings furiously at me. I struggled to stand my ground and fight the whirlwind attack. It was working, but barely. The force was just not enough, and I managed to stay on the spot, although being pushed back a little bit at a time.

All of a sudden, an explosion of pain erupted in my left side, and I was tossed through the air to crash land on the dirt, grazing my skin a little. A gravel-grinding sound zoomed around me while I contemplated my pain. “UHGH!” I yelped in a cry of discomfort. I instantly knew that I had been hit with something I was weak to.

“Dusty,” a familiar voice chanted, “watch out for that golem’s attacks!” It was Master calling to me.

I lifted my head from the ground, and spotted the golem close—too close! I swiftly bounded to my feet and barely dodged the great Rock pokémon’s rollout move in time to still be standing. He skimmed my bushy tail as he screamed past, but seeing my tail was almost entirely fur, I didn’t feel anything relating to pain... Unless I was referring to the aching pain in the side of my body. But that was a different issue.

I nearly stumbled as I stood on all fours. The rollout attack had really caught me at a bad time, and when I was least expecting it. It’s a pretty terrible feeling to be hit unexpectedly—especially when the attack is one of the worst to hit me.

I eyed the golem with focus as he sped towards me along the ground. Golem could heat-seek their targets when they were curled like a ball so as to guarantee a direct hit—or at least to be able to stay on track.

He whirled around and came back at full speed towards me. I stood a little dazed at the incoming attack before me, and that’s when I heard a shriek from my trainer. “Dusty! Watch out, girl!”

I pushed off the stony dirt and sprang to the left. However, the golem came straight back around and flew into my right side this time. I screamed before I hurtled to the ground, inconveniently landing on Izante, who was nearby. We both tumbled, and I could feel my energy going down at a rapid pace. I rolled off my friend and onto the ground beside her.
The little bell attached to the collar around my neck jingled and made a pretty little sound. The bell was a miniature chingling—yellow with a red and white scarf-like feature wrapped around its neck. However, the features were minuscule, but detailed magnificently. I think it had been quite expensive in human currency.

Izante seemed to yell at me a bit after we were done groaning in pain, but only because I crashed into her while she was in the middle of regaining her health, using her synthesis attack to do so.

“Sorry!” I blurted out, turning towards her. We both hauled ourselves back up. Izante’s tail was sagging, and her eyes were tinged with fury. Mine would have been, but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself because of all the injuries I had withstood. ‘I wonder how Izante’s feeling... I hope it isn’t too bad,’ I thought. ‘Well, better get back on track. The butterfree and golem’ll be coming back any second.’ Izante and I stood next to each other, eying the golem that sped toward us, still curled in a ball. “Wait for it...” I slowly said, standing with my legs shoulder-width apart for support.

“Wait for it..!” Izante mimicked.

The spinning golem neared and we readied ourselves. “Now!” called our masters.

“FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FIRE!” I yelled, boiling hot flames inside me.

“EAT GRASS!” Izante exclaimed, looking as if she was doing the same. I stole a quick glance from her, confused at what she had said as opposed to what I had said; she just shrugged by widening her eyes, focusing back on track.

Simultaneously, Izante and I unleashed a staggering combination of fire and grass energy, which stopped the golem in his tracks, and I watched the colourful power surge through his body. I expressed more of my anger, harnessing it loud and clear. All around us, dirt and dust from the ground rose and whipped wildly around the trees, forcing the grass to bow down before us. This was mine and Izante’s combination of autumn ray and molten flow, our two special attacks. It took a lot out of us, but they were powerful moves which dealt a serious amount of damage.

After a good, long burst of energy and tiring effort, our attacks ceased, and we both stared at the golem who had been knocked out cold, and the butterfree who had been blown away—but was still going!

Exhausted, I collapsed onto the ground, panting. I could still fight – I could tell by the rage and the boiling feeling inside of me – but I wanted just one moment to catch my breath again. I heard Izante bound off, most likely to attempt to now faint the butterfree and end the match for us. However, I lay on the cold earthy ground with my eyelids closed, making an effort to regain the most energy I could get my fangs around. Maybe after I had rested for long enough, I would be able to stick with my best friend to fight the Bug and Flying type. After all, I did have the advantage over her.

I managed to get a grip of some more strength, but it would take a while before I was going to be fully recovered enough in order to put up a good fight if need be. However, I did not think it was necessary to be thinking about fighting now. Izante had bounded off to take care of our flying foe, which she could most likely handle on her own, and the golem had fallen hard.

“Great job, Dust!” praised my master from another side of the field, and I smiled inwardly.
Just when I thought I could get a few minutes to myself, I sensed and then heard someone approaching—and I assumed it would be Master. I stayed put and kept my eyes closed. Sometimes it was better to use my hearing instead of my sight.

I then heard a voice trying to persuade me to get up and continue fighting... But wait... This one wasn’t one I recognised! It was extremely low and gravelly, and had an angry quality to it. And when I came to think of it, the footsteps were loud and too irregular for it to be my master.

It was then when I sensed a shadow towering over my back. As my heart pounded, I quickly whipped my head around to see two large, brown, rough feet. I looked upwards at the figure, and to my surprise, it was the golem again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, yeah, that's it. Please tell me what you think, and I would like to hear some feedback! Correction is welcome. :3

~Xanthe.
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 07-31-2013 at 07:49 AM.
  #4  
Old 02-13-2009, 08:47 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

You're welcome^^

And I know what you mean about first person-but I think it would be easy to describe emotions from the character's point of view even if it's just subtle things. But if there's emotion in the next chapter then it's fine-I didn't know you had written others already ^^;

And all right, I'll get to work on making a character!
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  #5  
Old 02-13-2009, 08:50 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
You're welcome^^

And I know what you mean about first person-but I think it would be easy to describe emotions from the character's point of view even if it's just subtle things. But if there's emotion in the next chapter then it's fine-I didn't know you had written others already ^^;

And all right, I'll get to work on making a character!
Sure! :D I'll look forward to when your character comes in. :3

Oh yeah, I getcha. Well, I hope there's proper emotion in it. xD
And yeah, I should have specified in the first post. ^^; *Does so*

~Xanthe.
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Pokemon Crossroads!
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  #6  
Old 02-13-2009, 09:09 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Ok, I'm done! I got this idea for a character based off a scyther in one of my old stories =3

GUEST STAR:
Name: Shardclaw (or just "Shard" for short)
Pokémon species: Scyther (what else? xD)
Gender: Male
Age: Adult
Any added features: He is a darker green than most scyther, and tall for one of his species. Along the left side of his body are scars from burns that look like they came from an encounter with a bad fire attack. The wounds have long since healed and the scars look like they happened long ago.
History and past: Shardclaw was captured and trained by a trainer who made a living stealing pokémon from trainers and selling them for a profit. He often had to threaten trainers and pokémon and fight them to aid his master in stealing them. Once the trainer got in a fight with the police, and one of the growlithes gave him severe injuries with a fire attack. His trainer fled and Shardclaw was taken to a pokémon center where he stayed until he was released back into the wild.
Personality: Despite his fearsome appearance, Shardclaw is a kind and helpful pokémon now that he is away from his trainer. He is polite and stands up for others, though is often very rude to fire types when he first meets them. He will help them if he can/if it is needed, but he is very uncomfortable around strange fire types.
Likes/dislikes:
Likes: Forests, shade, wide open fields, kind humans and pokémon
Dislikes: Eating berries, fruits, or plants of any kind (kinda obvious ^^;), Crowded human cities, intense heat or cold, battling (unless it's for sport and not against fire types), loneliness, being stared at by strangers
Fears: Evolving and fire...definately fire (fire types are included in this, though he is good at hiding this fear even though even the weakest of fire types terrify him)
Level: 23
Attacks: Slash, Wing Attack, Double Team, X-scissor, Night Slash, Air Slash, Swords Dance
Alliance: Good
Anything I'm missing: Nothing that I can think of^^


I think this character might be interesting in the story^^ I hope it's ok-it's really late here and I can't think very well xD Also I have a question-what role do levels play in the story?
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  #7  
Old 02-13-2009, 09:24 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Ok, I'm done! I got this idea for a character based off a scyther in one of my old stories =3

GUEST STAR:
Name: Shardclaw (or just "Shard" for short)
Pokémon species: Scyther (what else? xD)
Gender: Male
Age: Adult
Any added features: He is a darker green than most scyther, and tall for one of his species. Along the left side of his body are scars from burns that look like they came from an encounter with a bad fire attack. The wounds have long since healed and the scars look like they happened long ago.
History and past: Shardclaw was captured and trained by a trainer who made a living stealing pokémon from trainers and selling them for a profit. He often had to threaten trainers and pokémon and fight them to aid his master in stealing them. Once the trainer got in a fight with the police, and one of the growlithes gave him severe injuries with a fire attack. His trainer fled and Shardclaw was taken to a pokémon center where he stayed until he was released back into the wild.
Personality: Despite his fearsome appearance, Shardclaw is a kind and helpful pokémon now that he is away from his trainer. He is polite and stands up for others, though is often very rude to fire types when he first meets them. He will help them if he can/if it is needed, but he is very uncomfortable around strange fire types.
Likes/dislikes:
Likes: Forests, shade, wide open fields, kind humans and pokémon
Dislikes: Eating berries, fruits, or plants of any kind (kinda obvious ^^;), Crowded human cities, intense heat or cold, battling (unless it's for sport and not against fire types), loneliness, being stared at by strangers
Fears: Evolving and fire...definately fire (fire types are included in this, though he is good at hiding this fear even though even the weakest of fire types terrify him)
Level: 23
Attacks: Slash, Wing Attack, Double Team, X-scissor, Night Slash, Air Slash, Swords Dance
Alliance: Good
Anything I'm missing: Nothing that I can think of^^


I think this character might be interesting in the story^^ I hope it's ok-it's really late here and I can't think very well xD Also I have a question-what role do levels play in the story?
Great character! :D
I changed the thing, so you can have him a higher level if you want. x3 (Recommended seeing he is an adult)

Um, well, it felt weird giving Dusty moves she could only learn by being a certain level if she wasn't that strong. It also gives me a rough understanding of how strong the Pokemon is. It's not a big role, because of Pokemon abilities and stuff. x3 (Strategies to fight and stuff).

~Xanthe.
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  #8  
Old 02-13-2009, 09:37 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Thanks!

Oh and I see, I guess it would make more sense for his level to be around 40-50 or something like that. I wasn't sure what level scythers learn all the moves (I haven't played my game in a while and I was too lazy to look it up xD) so I hope that's ok^^
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  #9  
Old 02-13-2009, 09:41 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Xanthe, bestest sis! That was a SWEET chapter! ^^ Like Scy said, I really loved how you started off with Dusty's past. And that bit about admiring Izante so much was cute. ^^ Maybe you could expand on that a bit? Like why she admires her so much. Oh, and I think some flashbacks wouldn't go astray either, if you want. =3

The battle was described really well. I love how they had to work hard to win - even with a type advantage. So it wasn't just something easy like "Dusty used Flamethrower and beat the Butterfree" xD

I couldn't help but feel that Dusty and Izante could talk a bit more, you know? Like explain their feelings in more detail snd such. I just felt like they could have been saying something more...not quite sure how to put that. ^^' But yeah, awesome job, sis!

Anyway...

ME! ME! GUEST STAR ME! x3

GUEST STAR:
Name: Azure
Pokémon species: Glaceon
Gender: Female
Age: 18 - young adult
Any added features: She has odd, dark blue markings that run down her back.
History and past: Azure was treated as mostly an outcast from all the other Glaceon in her pack due to the weird markings that plague her. Her family abandoned her in a glacier at a young age and she was left to fend for herself. Because of this, she's become quite tough and headstrong. Has never been up close to a human and doesn't want to.
Personality: Often stubborn, she's unwilling to trust others and does mostly what she likes. She's very wary and will usually attack first and ask questions later. Azure only shows her true kind side to those she trusts. Once she does, she'll protect them with her entire being - never questioning their loyalty back. Is quite sarcastic and moody and prefers to be by herself or in a small group. Is quite quirky and smiles quite frequently, though this is seen as more of a threat than an act of kindness.
Likes/dislikes: Nothing inparticular. She likes practicing her fighting abilities and stealth training. She hates crowded places and prefers to be alone.
Fears: Fire, her old home and is extremely wary of others.
Level: 22
Attacks: Double Team, Shadow Ball, Ice Beam, Swift, Icy Wind, Quick Attack, Aqua Tail, Protect, Glacier Frost
Alliance: Neutral - you know what I mean ^^
Anything I'm missing: Nope, I'm good. =]

SPECIAL ATTACK:
Name: Glacier Frost
Type/Element: Ice
Power and PP: 150 / 5
Status Effects: High chance of freezing the foe
Desciption: A very powerful ice type attack that is utilised by launching an aura of pure-blue-white ice from the user's body. This special ice is surrounded by snowflakes and sharp icicles that can pierce even the hardest hide. The beam itself is launched at a temperature below −273.15 ° celsius - the coldest known temperature on earth. (only used in dire circumstances as it weakens the user somewhat because of energy loss)

Hope it's not too much info for you. xD
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Last edited by Gem N Ems; 02-13-2009 at 10:00 AM.
  #10  
Old 02-13-2009, 09:58 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Thanks!

Oh and I see, I guess it would make more sense for his level to be around 40-50 or something like that. I wasn't sure what level scythers learn all the moves (I haven't played my game in a while and I was too lazy to look it up xD) so I hope that's ok^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar Latias View Post
Xanthe, bestest sis! That was a SWEET chapter! ^^ Like Scy said, I really loved how you started off with Dusty's past. And that bit about admiring Izante so much was cute. ^^ Maybe you could expand on that a bit? Like why she admires her so much. Oh, and I think some flashbacks wouldn't go astray either, if you want. =3

The battle was described really well. I love how they had to work hard to win - even with a type advantage. So it wasn't just something easy like "Dusty used Flamethrower and beat the Butterfree" xD

I couldn't help but feel that Dusty and Izante could talk a bit more, you know? Like explain their feelings in more detail snd such. I just felt like they could have been saying something more...not quite sure how to put that. ^^' But yeah, awesome job, sis!

Anyway...

ME! ME! GUEST STAR ME! x3

GUEST STAR:
Name: Azure
Pokémon species: Glaceon
Gender: Female
Age: 18 - young adult
Any added features: She has odd, dark blue markings that run down her back.
History and past: Azure was treated as mostly an outcast from all the other Glaceon in her pack due to the weird markings that plague her. Her family abandoned her in a glacier at a young age and she was left to fend for herself. Because of this, she's become quite tough and headstrong. Has never been up close to a human and doesn't want to.
Personality: Often stubborn, she's unwilling to trust others and does mostly what she likes. She's very wary and will usually attack first and ask questions later. Azure only shows her true kind side to those she trusts. Once she does, she'll protect them with her entire being - never questioning their loyalty back. Is quite sarcastic and moody and prefers to be by herself or in a small group. Is quite quirky and smiles quite frequently, though this is seen as more of a threat than an act of kindness.
Likes/dislikes: Nothing inparticular. She likes practicing her fighting abilities and stealth training. She hates crowded places and prefers to be alone.
Fears: Fire, her old home and is extremely wary of others.
Level: 22
Attacks: Double Team, Shadow Ball, Ice Beam, Swift, Icy Wind, Quick Attack, Aqua Tail, Glacier Frost
Alliance: Neutral - you know what I mean ^^
Anything I'm missing: Nope, I'm good. =]

SPECIAL ATTACK:
Name: Glacier Frost
Type/Element: Ice
Power and PP: 150 / 5
Status Effects: High chance of freezing the foe
Desciption: A very powerful ice type attack that is utilised by launching an aura of pure-blue-white ice from the user's body. This special ice is surrounded by snowflakes and sharp icicles that can pierce even the hardest hide. The beam itself is launched at a temperature below −273.15 ° celsius - the coldest known temperature on earth. (only used in dire circumstances as it weakens the user somewhat because of energy loss)

Hope it's not too much info for you. xD
Not too much, sis! Thanks for replying. x3 I thought they might have been a bit too busy fighting to be having a casual chat. xD
And nice guest star! :D And lol at the Dusty Flamethrower Butterfree thing. xD

No worries Scy! And yeah, that's all good. ^^

~Xanthe.
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  #11  
Old 02-13-2009, 10:02 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
Not too much, sis! Thanks for replying. x3 I thought they might have been a bit too busy fighting to be having a casual chat. xD
And nice guest star! :D And lol at the Dusty Flamethrower Butterfree thing. xD

No worries Scy! And yeah, that's all good. ^^

~Xanthe.
No worries and glad to help out. ^^ Yeah, I did get that. So maybe not quite a whole casual conversation. xD

Thanks! I hope she'll make a good addition to the gang lol. Yeah. xD I thought you'd laugh at that. So bland lol. x3
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  #12  
Old 02-13-2009, 10:26 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

xD You're a funny one. Anyways guys, I'm off. x3
Feel free to guest star, other people! And give me feedback, if you will. x3

~Xanthe.
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Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #13  
Old 02-13-2009, 10:35 AM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
xD You're a funny one. Anyways guys, I'm off. x3
Feel free to guest star, other people! And give me feedback, if you will. x3

~Xanthe.
I'm funny? I'm gonna choose to take that as a good thing. xD

And when are you putting the next chapter up? I can't wait now. ^^
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  #14  
Old 02-13-2009, 08:04 PM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar Latias View Post
I'm funny? I'm gonna choose to take that as a good thing. xD

And when are you putting the next chapter up? I can't wait now. ^^
Lol, well, since I already have two fans, I might put the second part of chapter one up today. And sorry I don't really space it out much. x3 I may just a little more for when I post them. x3

~Xanthe.
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Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

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Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #15  
Old 02-13-2009, 10:18 PM
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Default Re: Through The Eyes Of A Flareon

Nice job, I like your descriptions, Xanthe ^^

I still need to think of a character to pester you to put in XD


Name: Hakumei

Pokémon species: Shiny Umbreon

Gender: Male

Age: About seventeen to eighteen in Pokemon years, but around forty in human

Any added features: Despite being an 'old Pokemon' as far as humans are concerned, Hakumei has a rather long life span ahead of him, being able to live longer than any Absol thanks to his past. Due to special training, he is also able to use Aura-related attacks as well as ExtremeSpeed.

History and past: Was and still is partner to a member of a Guardian Race created to protect the balance of the world. However, he and Mitsumae split up to better accomplish their duties. Therefore, he is a nomad who travels the various regions of the world.

Personality: Normally good natured and easy going, it takes alot to get him angry, but if you do... I advise you to run as fast as you can XD

Likes/Dislikes: Pretty simple; he dislikes those who are cruel to Pokemon, and likes those who are kind to them.

Fears: The only fear he has is not being able to accomplish what he is meant to do.

Level: 45

Attacks: Aura Sphere, Psychic, ExtremeSpeed, Agility, Dig, Quick Attack, Dark Pulse, Protect

Alliance: He will do what he deems as right depending on the situation, so Neutral, I suppose ^^'

Anything I'm missing: Nope, you're good.
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Last edited by Michelle8936; 02-13-2009 at 10:34 PM.
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