Zombie Attack

[CrazyTrainer]

Plot

An experiment has gone wrong trying to change humans into super humans why?It went horriblely wrong. But , what does it change them into. Well lets test it. Oh no the it changes them into zombie ahh! It bit me I'm changing into one. Noooooooooooo! Well thats how it all started one persson changes then they all change. Now where stuck up in this mall trying to escape while there zombies around. It has been 3 weeks we've been up here and were running out of supplies and we don't know how much more we can take there starting to break the front door so were going to have to leave asap and find ssome kind of rescue. We'll find a well out of thi even if we have to blow tons of zombies heads off. My name is Tyson Bennent and thats my story . Can we escape or die trying?

Sign

Name
Gender Boy - Girl
Description what they look like or a picture
Mood how they feeling in this situation
Personality what makes you you
Weapons melee and guns


Ex
Name Tyson Bennent
Gender Boy
Description
Mood Pissed
Personality He is a crazy guy he does alot of crazy stuff but , also is smart in a weird kind of way
Weapon Shotgun .32 pistol a knife


Please join people hope you like it.



In
Adrenaline

Reserved

Out

[Psychedelic Shroomish]

Wow this is a great roleplay dude if I wasn't already writing three other novels I would join this for sure

[CrazyTrainer]

Alright well make sure you please thank you.

[Psychedelic Shroomish]

Name Raven Simmone
Gender Unown
Description what they look like or a picture

Mood how they feeling in this situation
They feel like they want to eat some fried chicken made from zombie guts
Personality what makes you you they are a warm hearted good person
Weapons melee and guns she can pistol whip you and dip you and split you and dance to this mother beepin music we crip to

[CrazyTrainer]

Your in nice sign up.

[Lord Fedora]

Pardon me for just one second.

Mustresistflaming impulse

Okay, got that out of my system.

Now I'll give you this, the concept is excellent. Zombie killing is always fun. But, put to paper... not so much. For starters, let's take a look at your plot. First off, grammar. MS Word is your friend CT, never forget that. Secondly, it's iffy in a few more areas, most specifically length and detail. Go take a look at Tombi and Gaby's The Merines, compare the two plots. You'll see the difference.

Secondly, your sign-up sheet. Now I'm not entirely opposed to using a pic instead of a description. I would never allow it in an RP I created, but some are more lax than I am and I can respect that. Histories are also optional, though they are welcome. But a couple of things. One, mood, generally going to fit into personality. Just saying. Two, the personality in your own SU is somewhat lacking. I'm honestly not going to judge you on your standards, I'm only suggesting that you improve your own RPing skills by observing and RPing with other people, and that includes SUs. And thirdly, this is largely the thing that got to me most is in regards to Adrenaline... are you aware of who Raven Simmon is? Because I'm just going to say right now, stealing obscure anime characters for RP characters, fine (*silently hides Shiki, the character I'm creating for Merines*), but using major celebrities, cheap cop-out.

I apologize if I came out as offensive, snarky, overly sarcastic, or simply a little mean at any point, that's simply how I tend to be and I try to curtail that when giving RPing advice.

[Lusitania]

Originally Posted by Khajmer

Pardon me for just one second.

Mustresistflaming impulse

Okay, got that out of my system.

Now I'll give you this, the concept is excellent. Zombie killing is always fun. But, put to paper... not so much. For starters, let's take a look at your plot. First off, grammar. MS Word is your friend CT, never forget that. Secondly, it's iffy in a few more areas, most specifically length and detail. Go take a look at Tombi and Gaby's The Merines, compare the two plots. You'll see the difference.

Secondly, your sign-up sheet. Now I'm not entirely opposed to using a pic instead of a description. I would never allow it in an RP I created, but some are more lax than I am and I can respect that. Histories are also optional, though they are welcome. But a couple of things. One, mood, generally going to fit into personality. Just saying. Two, the personality in your own SU is somewhat lacking. I'm honestly not going to judge you on your standards, I'm only suggesting that you improve your own RPing skills by observing and RPing with other people, and that includes SUs. And thirdly, this is largely the thing that got to me most is in regards to Adrenaline... are you aware of who Raven Simmon is? Because I'm just going to say right now, stealing obscure anime characters for RP characters, fine (*silently hides Shiki, the character I'm creating for Merines*), but using major celebrities, cheap cop-out.

I apologize if I came out as offensive, snarky, overly sarcastic, or simply a little mean at any point, that's simply how I tend to be and I try to curtail that when giving RPing advice.

Eevee, you forgot one thing. Personally, I would try to get some role-playing experience before trying to make your own. *Points at Eeveeking AKA Khajmer* This guy gave me the exact same advice when I started RPing, and I try to help out to, but I think I come across as more of a teacher than a prison warden.

[Sheepat]

I AM READY TO BEAT SOME ZOMBIE BUTT!!

name: Joe jake
gender: male
age: ?????
discription: Played Time Crisis? Imagine Wild Dog.
Mood to you: They feel like they want to kill you and eat your brain for their dinner with the appetizer of other people's bones.
personality: Joe suffers from split personality: he is kind hearted at one point, then a cruel tyrant the next.
weapons: He has a machine gun arm and a pistol on the other hand.

[CrazyTrainer]

Hey please put an age on your person and I don't know the guy from time crisis please make a better description.

[sir_Aaron]

I love how you ignored those two's advice. Is being really offensive going to be the only thing that will actually GET your attention? I'm not threatening, but from what I've seen, you only pay attention to 'offensive advice'. You totally ignore the people who actually want to help.

[Lusitania]

Originally Posted by sir_Aaron

I love how you ignored those two's advice. Is being really offensive going to be the only thing that will actually GET your attention? I'm not threatening, but from what I've seen, you only pay attention to 'offensive advice'. You totally ignore the people who actually want to help.

Maybe it is, and you better watch out, I can really pull off offensive.