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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 04-05-2008, 02:30 PM
Sam Coyle Offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 300
Default Pokémon: A Journey to Masterhood

Hello viewer, I'm Sam von Noobenschtein from Pokébeach. I'm newish to fics but hey, I'll give it a go.

PROLOGUE


A 10th birthday is a milestone for any person because that day marks the start of their journey. We meet Sam, a 14 year old but never started a journey due to his lack of interest in Pokémon.

Sam lay asleep in his bed, to be awoken by his alarm clock to have breakfast and get changed. Sam wasn't just any young boy, he is the son of Professor. Bark, a well known Pokémon researcher.

"Sam, what are you going to do today ?" a tall man asked the young man.

"Well, I was thinking I'd take care of the Tauros for a while and then help with the research." Sam replied.

"Well, we did receive a message from Lee, he wanted you to meet him at the Valley." the tall man said.

"The Valley ? I wonder why." Sam asked himself.

"I don't know but Lee said it was important." the man answered.

"Fine, I'll be back. Then I'll help with the research." Sam said as he parted to the valley.

…….

At the Valley…

"Lee, what's going on ?" Sam asked.

"Look there. See those wagons. Those are Team Galactic's wagons." A tall, brown haired man answered.

"Why call me then ?" Sam questioned.

"Because, it's about time you set off on a journey. Bro, come with me." Sam's brother Lee answered as they left the stormy Valley to return to the Lab.

……

At the Lab…

"Dad, prepare the Pokémon." Lee told the same tall man from earlier. He answered by nodding his head and opening a door leading to a room never seen by Sam's eyes.

"Sam, like I said, you need to set off on a journey. You get on extremely well with the Pokémon at the Lab and you bonded with them very quickly. Your mother, father and I feel that you would do really well on a journey. So, pick one of three Pokémon." Lee said and threw three Poké Balls.

"Choose from Treecko, a Grass type; Chimchar, a Fire type or Totodile, a Water type. The Pokémon you pick will accompany you on numerous adventures, just say the word and it’s yours." Lee said.

As Sam was about to pick, an explosion came from the Lab. It was Team Galactic trying to steal the Poké Balls and trying to steal Professor Bark's research.

……

"No you don't Team Galactic, Rampardos, Hyper Beam !" Lee commanded as his revived fossil, Rampardos emerged from it's Poké Ball and fired an intense ray of energy which blasted into Team Galactic. However, once the brothers returned for Sam to choose the Pokémon, Treecko had been caught by Team Galactic and Chimchar had disappeared.

"I'll take care of Galactic, you go get the Chimchar." Lee said as they ran and went their separate ways.

================================================== ========

Comments are appreciated. Thank you for reading the Prologue and Chapter 1 will come soon.

Last edited by Sam Coyle; 04-05-2008 at 04:35 PM.
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  #2  
Old 04-05-2008, 06:59 PM
Orange_Flaaffy's Avatar
Orange_Flaaffy Offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: California USA
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Default Re: Pokémon: A Journey to Masterhood

Masterhood? Masterhood? O.o
Now that is a word I haven't heard in a while :\...
I know you are trying to make your story feel more epic, but the stereotyped 'everyday new trainer' elements take away from the changes you are trying to make.
The trouble is the details of his life you have put in to make your story 'different' are barely touched on.
It is talked about in a line or two and never written in detail in a way that makes the reader feel as if Sam is a real person.

Also, your speech is very wooden. When you are writing a character think of how people speak in real life, say what the character is saying as you write it on paper.
You'll find your speech becomes more natural sounding in stories that way :).

Everyone starts with a story like this, don't give up :)!
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  #3  
Old 04-05-2008, 07:15 PM
Sam Coyle Offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 300
Default Re: Pokémon: A Journey to Masterhood

Okay, thanks. I'm not the best with these fics. :p
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