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  #1  
Old 02-26-2008, 06:27 PM
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Default Fyre Spin

I've planned to start all over. I have tons of brilliant plans, but what I did in the past is blocking most of them.

When I made Fyre Spin and Sacred Fyre, I wasn't a really talented fanfiction author. I couldn't plan the chapters very well, or describe what was happening very well. When I got to Delphi's Tale, I was getting a lot better, because more and more people were reading my fanfictions.

But, alas, I must start all over with the Fyre Trilogy. Not the Fyre Chronicles, which the Fyre Trilogy is a part of, but the Fyre Trilogy itself; more on that later. Anyways, it is basically the same plot as the previous Fyre Spin, except there's more to it. The battle scenes are more vivid, there are more adventures, and one new character.

If you'd like to view the prologue early, be my guest:

Quote:
There was a time in the world where everything was calm and tranquil; a time of justice and righteousness... But in an instant, most of that goodness turned to dust.

Under the vast surface of the ocean in the East, there was a legendary temple that traveled the world. It was a crystal castle that was home to only the most royal of Pokemon. At one time, it traveled the world with peace and compassion, but soon, those traveling days were over. After about 4.5 billion years of traveling the ocean, the sea temple fell to the seafloor. Many Pokemon, a group of hundreds, maybe even thousands of races of creatures, got upset. The King, Kyogre, equally as old as the temple, was curious. But unfortunately, that curiosity led to his downfall.

His right-hand vizier, Lurava, had been seeking his master's job for decades. Kyogre's son, Manaphy, wanted to take the crown before Lurava did. Because he was so small and fragile, he could be killed quite easily. One day, Manaphy ventured through the crystal castle to visit his father. But, when he went to his father's throne room, he was gone.

Very short, I know, but I believe prologues are supposed to be short. The chapters will be bigger; I promise.
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  #2  
Old 03-08-2008, 06:28 AM
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Default Re: Fyre Spin

I can see this story having potential, of course, near all stories do with proper storytelling. Here= (Begin Chapter 1) Manaphy quickly turned around to see the vesier, his eyes locked tight with manaphy's, the wrenching moment was too much for any pokemon to bare. The vesier shot an ember at manaphy and knocked him to the ground, manaphy got up and swam to the surface as fast as he could where he met krabby. Krabby had been a great friend of manaphy's for many years, the scorch was oblivious and krabby had to take part in the manner. So he ran off to do something to help, the vesier flashed up and sparked krabby and he was knocked out. The sea rushed in a wave and sucked the vesier in. A flash of manaphy's father, Kyogre appeared to him and he knew what he had to do. (End Chapter 1)

Adding little details and quick moments help. They keep the reader-reading. After that (IN MY MIND) I would have manaphy learn the ways of his father and attempt to find kyogre, encounter Mr.Vesier dude a bunch and krabby help out a bit. Incourporate many characters. Just giving you some idea's to keep your numerous readers #'s growing.
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Old 03-26-2008, 12:39 PM
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Default Re: Fyre Spin

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erevales Rescue Team View Post
I can see this story having potential, of course, near all stories do with proper storytelling. Here= (Begin Chapter 1) Manaphy quickly turned around to see the vesier, his eyes locked tight with manaphy's, the wrenching moment was too much for any pokemon to bare. The vesier shot an ember at manaphy and knocked him to the ground, manaphy got up and swam to the surface as fast as he could where he met krabby. Krabby had been a great friend of manaphy's for many years, the scorch was oblivious and krabby had to take part in the manner. So he ran off to do something to help, the vesier flashed up and sparked krabby and he was knocked out. The sea rushed in a wave and sucked the vesier in. A flash of manaphy's father, Kyogre appeared to him and he knew what he had to do. (End Chapter 1)

Adding little details and quick moments help. They keep the reader-reading. After that (IN MY MIND) I would have manaphy learn the ways of his father and attempt to find kyogre, encounter Mr.Vesier dude a bunch and krabby help out a bit. Incourporate many characters. Just giving you some idea's to keep your numerous readers #'s growing.
The thing is, that's not how I'm starting the story... It will actually start in a place near Four Island, on the other side of the world... Everything will unravel later.
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