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Author's Corner Share your ideas with other members and come here for helpful writing tips.


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  #1  
Old 12-16-2007, 05:48 PM
Mumble's Avatar
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Default Writing Tips?

I'm working on fan fiction, I'll post a bit here, I need tips for details and stuff.

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As the Sun slowly rose from the deep yet curved Hill, Mumble had awoke.

"That was so relaxing, Especially when you have slimy fish for some food." Mumble Said Gently.

He slowly yet Carefully rose from the small jacuzzi like hole of bubbly water.

He gave a huge strech and gave a tight yawn, He then quickly and accuratley shook the water off him.

He then started to walk, From the lush grass to the lumpy paths, He smartly seen a dark, Tall forest in the beatiful Horizon.

"Ah, That forest is way too dark, I'll never make it out alive." He said with a slight gulp.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can I have comments? Am I going overboard on the details? Not enough details?

Can I have general tips?
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  #2  
Old 12-16-2007, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: Writing Tips?

lol I'm a stickler for description. =P

I like how you have description in your writing, it really does bring your story to life even though it's only part of one. Now don't forget, use all your senses when your describing. How did the forest look like? Oakie and damp because it just rained? What were sounds of the forest? Loud because of the squawks of bird Pokemon or quiet with only the soft humming Bug Pokemon?

Keep in mind all your senses as you write, not just teh visual. Taste, smell, hear, touch, etc. You will really pain a picture for your reader. ;)

- Kat
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  #3  
Old 01-19-2008, 02:21 AM
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Default Re: Writing Tips?

Quote:
As the Sun slowly rose from the deep yet curved Hill, Mumble had awoke.

"That was so relaxing, especially when you have slimy fish for some food." Mumble said gently.

He slowly yet carefully rose from the small jacuzzi-like hole of bubbly water.

He gave a huge stretch and gave a tight yawn, then quickly shook the water off him.

He then started to walk, from the lush grass to the lumpy paths, He smartly seen a dark, Tall forest in the beautiful horizon.

"Ah, That forest is way too dark, I'll never make it out alive." He said with a slight gulp.
I can really only see some spelling mistakes and un-needed capital letters.

Edits in bold.
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  #4  
Old 02-02-2008, 06:43 PM
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Default Re: Writing Tips?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mumble View Post

As the sun slowly rose from the deep yet curved hill, Mumble had awakened.

"That was so relaxing, specially when you have slimy fish for food." Mumble said gently.

He slowly yet carefully rose from the small jacuzzi like hole of bubbly water.

He gave a huge strech and a tight yawn, then quickly shook the water off him.

Then he started to walk, from the lush grass to the lumpy paths, he had spotted a dark, tall forest in the beatiful horizon.

"Ah, that forest is way too dark, I'll never make it out alive." he said with a slight gulp.
My edits (and suggestions)are in bold. Try not to go overboard with capitals (don't use them after speech or commas).
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