Re: Pokemon Topaz
You need a lot more to it. There is no plot here, a new area like this would badly need a map, the sign up is non-existent, and the roles of the role players are not defined at all. How exactly are they involved with the story? It really should be a lot more than just be another fledgling trainer journey, since we've already seen that storyline used again and again.
It needs a lot of work. Read the guides, participate in a few other role plays before making your own, and see how other people make their RPs and you'll see what our standards are like.