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  #1  
Old 08-05-2007, 05:24 PM
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Default Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

A few of you on the forum who know me may have read both Shadow Mist and Shadow Sky. You may have fallen in love with the odd Odd the Mawile, kind Marigold the Ampharos, and of course Nakkura the Zangoose: impulsive, pessimistic, bad-tempered, but lovable. You may realize how Shadow Sky ended half way through the story, leaving a cliffhanger, as I left. You would never find out whose side Nakkura stayed on, who Marigold would end up with, anything.

I've apologized multiple times for leaving PE2K so abruptly. But the Shadow Trilogy lingered in my mind, a bunch of guilt and disgust with myself staying with it. So, with a love of the characters, I rewrote it. But it's changed.

Pokemon no longer populate the region of Orre; a Shadow Lugia is no longer the main enemy; there is no Team Fang or Team Mist; Odd and Marigold and Nakkura are no more. Instead, the Shadows Trilogy is turning into a different kind of story - one with supernatural beings, good and evil, so similar to the original yet so different. Human beings are going against the Shadow dragon Toxaril and his army of demonic creatures. The Mist Alliance is led by a vampire, the Fang Alliance forming to combat the Shadows, the demon monsters. Odd and Marigold and Nakkura are now Kaleo, Akemi, and Kani, teenage humans but warriors still.

Those of you who have read it, don't expect anything totally different - just different characters with close to the same personalities. However, the destinies of many of these warriors have altered, relationships deepened, and the overall outcome has changed. For those of you who haven't read it, please do; it's one of my only successful and semi-original works despite its roots.

Here is an excerpt from the prologue of Shadows and Mist - as you can see the words may have changed slightly, but it has about the same content if with an altered plot. I will post the first parts of it as soon as I have made a few edits.
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Prologue
† The Hero’s Path
Dagon was tired.

His tough, dark eyes flicked to his comrades as the last young man fell onto his knees and collapsed to the ground, the black-hilted sword slipping from his fingers. The old warrior gritted his teeth angrily and looked back to the beast standing before him: Toxaril, the Shadow Dragon. The reptile was built like a human, with powerful limbs tipped in lethal black talons, and two great dark wings spreading from his broad shoulders. The dragon’s eyes were slits of red fire. His elongated muzzle was covered in scars, and his scales bristled along the dark ridge on his neck and spine. Toxaril beat his wings powerfully again, heading toward the human, a plain fisherman, with claws outstretched to grasp his throat.

Dagon bowed his head and dodged out of the way, wincing as the sharp points of the claws cut through the fabric along his side. He put his hand to the cut, finding warm moisture that was blood, and grunted in acknowledgement of the pain. He held onto the sword again, shouting as he swung it in a wild arc. He clipped the spiked tip of one of Toxaril’s wings, but before he could grin in triumph, the dragon barreled forward again with his long neck lowered.

Dagon panted with the effort of moving out of the way of the beast’s attacks. He and his comrades, six normal young men and women remaining, had wiped out most of Toxaril’s Shadow Alliance. The rest of his group had fallen to the demonic creatures, called Shadows. Now, the former fisherman did battle with the great dragon himself.

Dagon chanced a glance at the rest of the team as he dodged a blow from Toxaril’s long claws and powerful arms. The scraggly, dark-haired man regretted how he recently treated them. He had become more interested in figure out where Toxaril and the Shadow Alliance were instead of focusing on their individual needs. They were, after all, almost like his children—his real son, Pontius, was among them. Their bodies had fallen earlier in the fight as they blacked out from exhaustion; he had pushed them too hard. His breath suddenly came out in a whoosh as Toxaril’s powerful black wing knocked into his back, laying him flat for an instant before he rolled out of the way of the dragon’s grasp.

Dagon remembered bitterly how he finally came to this battle. He had received a tip from his comrade that the legendary dragon he searched for so doggedly was on an island, not far from his hometown of Galeport. Without any hesitation, he had rounded up the team and rushed forward to the island, Darkisle. He had struck out toward a powerful battle and was still not aware that it would be his last.

Everyone thought that Dagon would make it… He had used his comrades to weaken the forces. He was now holding his scimitar up with a gasp for air, facing Toxaril. The dragon humanoid took a few steps back, holding out his claws. He gathered a sphere of black energy within his palms and released a shadowy beam of violet and black light. He usually fired breaths of black fire, but this strengthened into a pillar that was heading toward the old man, who dropped his curved sword in pure shock.

The beam hit Dagon in the chest, and he fell backward.

His journey abruptly ended.
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  #2  
Old 08-05-2007, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

So it is not even a pokemon fanfic anymore?:\
I am not saying your writing may not be good, as I have not read all of it to date, but I have to say that writing a pokemon fic without pokemon is one of my pet peeves, since to me if you are not writing with them in there somewhere as a main part of the plot you might as well just be writing a normal fantasy story. And if you are writing a normal fantasy story, posting it on the internet gets rid of your first printing rights if you ever hope to publish it ;).
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  #3  
Old 08-05-2007, 05:53 PM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

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Originally Posted by Orange_Flaaffy View Post
So it is not even a pokemon fanfic anymore?:\
I am not saying your writing may not be good, as I have not read all of it to date, but I have to say that writing a pokemon fic without pokemon is one of my pet peeves, since to me if you are not writing with them in there somewhere as a main part of the plot you might as well just be writing a normal fantasy story. And if you are writing a normal fantasy story, posting it on the internet gets rid of your first printing rights if you ever hope to publish it ;).
You have a point there but... I'm unsure of how I could rewrite it with Pokemon. I'm no longer as fond of the original version as I thought I'd be. I don't like how the characters were - species wise and how everything would end up - and it lacked the emotion I wanted to put into it. Somehow these revised characters give me what I wanted to start writing, and I wanted to share it with this community...

Publishing... >> I was considering it, so I'm glad you've said that. I do have more story ideas involving Pokemon, however. A mod may have to end up locking this thread, then. ><
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Old 08-06-2007, 12:55 AM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

Who are you and what have you done with Kaze?! >:O

If you're going to revise and publish it as an actual book, I'm gonna hunt it down and buy the first copy ever in the area. =D

But seriously... did you forget your password or something? o_o
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  #5  
Old 08-06-2007, 12:57 AM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

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Originally Posted by Hoshika View Post
Who are you and what have you done with Kaze?! >:O

If you're going to revise and publish it as an actual book, I'm gonna hunt it down and buy the first copy ever in the area. =D

But seriously... did you forget your password or something? o_o
1 - I am Kaze's evil orange twin sister and I have taken over her mind.

2 - This is why I simply love you in a totally non-homosexual way. <3 It may take a couple of years or a lot, but look for "Shadows and Mist". xD

3 - Maybe. >> Different email account, too, and I wanted to start over completely.
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Old 08-09-2007, 05:57 PM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

Yay, Kaze, you're back! *hugs* Anyway, if it does become a book, I'll definitely be reading. ^^ Just warn us if it comes out! XD
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  #7  
Old 08-09-2007, 06:39 PM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draconic_Espeon View Post
Yay, Kaze, you're back! *hugs* Anyway, if it does become a book, I'll definitely be reading. ^^ Just warn us if it comes out! XD
I cannot promise you anything but... I'm in the process of editing it for the third time... I'll research publishers a lot later.

I do have another fanfiction idea, though. I'll probably elaborate on it later. ^^ This one does have Pokemon in it, and I'm in the process of writing the first chapter while thinking it through.
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Old 08-09-2007, 10:51 PM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

It sounds like a good idea to me. I mean, I'll always miss the original storyline, but it'll be fun to compare and contrast the two stories. ^___^ But Nakkura... you just can't replace 'im.

*Nakkura and I exchange evil grins*
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Old 08-10-2007, 08:27 PM
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Default Re: Shadows Trilogy - Heavily Altered Revision

Like OF said, but you can post some of it. (I.e. Orson Scott Card as the first chapters of all his novels on his site.) I'd recommend posting the first few chapters and then pming or emailing those that are interested the new ones. That's what I plan to do with a novel if there would be people interested in it.
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