Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 06-15-2007, 06:58 PM
pikahero2's Avatar
pikahero2 Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: ...Pedophile
Posts: 2,876
Send a message via AIM to pikahero2 Send a message via MSN to pikahero2
Default pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

ok im making my first story so if there is any spelling mistakes let me know ok?
so heres the index

1.this is a quick story


One day a 10 year old pikachu called ryan was in school his teacher was talking about
boring subjects like math "jamie give me sum gum quick before she sees us" whispered ryan to jamie.
"ok heres some gum sorry its apple flavour but its still gum:D"replied ryan
so ryan went to the hall and the teacher seen him and told him to go around to the office
as he sat there a beautyful pikachu called rebecca the new girl sat there looking sad
"whats wrong wit u ur a pretty girl y r u sad"asked ryan
"im... sad because veryone was calling me a newbie and didnt apreciate me
being nice to the...m sniff sniff"cried rebecca

so in school they hung out togather till primarty graduation then ryan and rebecca kissed
for 5 seconds then andy rebeccas dad took her away 6 years later...........
ryan still had picutres on rebecca on his wall in his room
then one day he herad on the news
" a 18 year old girl called rebecca who was in valencia at the time was kidnapped from her apartment in costa del sol she had a neverending sparkle in her right eye please help find her"asid the repoerter ryan looked at the pic of her he know who it was he got money from his mom and flew to valencia but when he got there he had to get the boat to costa del sol but the currents were rough and it had jsut started to snow so he packed up
and travelled from centre costa del rey to north of it then he seen a girl looked like becky
but he was not sure he called "rebecca its me ryan i care about u!"he shouted the girl turned around wit a sparkle in her eyethe girtl ran off into the snowstorm
ryan came across a snover he used irona tail it got hurt but then countered him with double team then he hit him across the forheasd wit a ice punch ryan had a bruse on his head and fell unconsisley.
he woke up he was half frozen he start walking again and he seen millions of snover in the caves they stared at him and he collapsed he couldnt think of the site of them all attacking him.
he woke up on a montain rebecca was there on the cliff she said "sorry (tears drop down her eyes)"she cried and then she fell on purpise offf the cliff and then ryan jumped off and caught up with her he grabbed herhand and cried and said"ill never let go not even if i die"
they fell into the waterfall but b4 they fell in ryan pushed rebecca away from it she fell into the lake and he went to a watery death the end
__________________

| Vote me and PyreTheTorchic in MoTM when it comes. :3 |

[\ Pokémon Frenzy -URPG - VPP Stats - PyreXRyan - /]
  #2  
Old 06-15-2007, 07:04 PM
Burning Pepsi's Avatar
Burning Pepsi Offline
Amateur Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In your nightmares
Posts: 53
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

Interesting story but you should make it longer and add more characters
  #3  
Old 06-15-2007, 11:45 PM
pikahero2's Avatar
pikahero2 Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: ...Pedophile
Posts: 2,876
Send a message via AIM to pikahero2 Send a message via MSN to pikahero2
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

um.. ok but i was in a rush i was tired from doin sprint
__________________

| Vote me and PyreTheTorchic in MoTM when it comes. :3 |

[\ Pokémon Frenzy -URPG - VPP Stats - PyreXRyan - /]
  #4  
Old 06-16-2007, 09:22 AM
Shiny Loser's Avatar
Shiny Loser Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Aboard the Failboat
Posts: 2,010
Send a message via MSN to Shiny Loser Send a message via Yahoo to Shiny Loser
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pikahero2 View Post
um.. ok but i was in a rush i was tired from doin sprint
Nice excuse. Bet you don't have one for bad grammar. You can't just use "u" for "you" in a fanfiction. It has to have very good grammar.
__________________
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]
  #5  
Old 06-18-2007, 03:48 AM
Eiyoko's Avatar
Eiyoko Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Here! Where else?
Posts: 246
Send a message via AIM to Eiyoko Send a message via MSN to Eiyoko
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

I'm with Shiny Loser on this one. This is, to be blunt, horrible. I didn't bother reading past the first line or two; you use no periods or anything correctly whatsoever, making this one big run-on sentence.

I don't care what your excuse is. Your writing (assuming this is your writing) needs loads of work.
__________________
Pokemon Diamond/Pearl Guides by Eiyoko - Full List
92% of teens have moved on to rap.
If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.


  #6  
Old 06-20-2007, 01:10 AM
Lucarichi's Avatar
Lucarichi Offline
Master Trainer
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Legions of the Internet
Posts: 313
Send a message via Yahoo to Lucarichi
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

WHAT IS WITH THESE FICS WHERE THERE'S NO SENSE AND IT GOES BY 2 QUICKLY AND THE MAIN CHARACTER DIES IN THE FIRST CHAPPIE!?!? ... srry... i dun like flaming but that was the second fic i've seen where (lookit the above) happens...
__________________
~LP
  #7  
Old 06-24-2007, 08:00 PM
pikahero2's Avatar
pikahero2 Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: ...Pedophile
Posts: 2,876
Send a message via AIM to pikahero2 Send a message via MSN to pikahero2
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

well im not tryin to make a excuse but im only going ten in 7 days and im a fast typer so i make mistakes
__________________

| Vote me and PyreTheTorchic in MoTM when it comes. :3 |

[\ Pokémon Frenzy -URPG - VPP Stats - PyreXRyan - /]
  #8  
Old 06-24-2007, 10:46 PM
Kecleonfan666's Avatar
Kecleonfan666 Offline
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Skyworld
Posts: 4,081
Send a message via AIM to Kecleonfan666
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

This does not qualify as a fanfic.

*reports
__________________
  #9  
Old 06-25-2007, 04:19 AM
Neo Emolga's Avatar
Neo Emolga Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Reading your mind
Posts: 21,704
Send a message via AIM to Neo Emolga
Default Re: pikachu's jouney in style and pain!

Hate to say it, but this isn't good enough to remain open.

Read the rules and the fan fiction guides thoroughly, and you'll see what we expect for fan fiction around here.

*Locked
__________________

Closed Thread


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:45 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com