Creative WritingShare your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.
ok im making my first story so if there is any spelling mistakes let me know ok?
so heres the index
1.this is a quick story
One day a 10 year old pikachu called ryan was in school his teacher was talking about
boring subjects like math "jamie give me sum gum quick before she sees us" whispered ryan to jamie.
"ok heres some gum sorry its apple flavour but its still gum:D"replied ryan
so ryan went to the hall and the teacher seen him and told him to go around to the office
as he sat there a beautyful pikachu called rebecca the new girl sat there looking sad
"whats wrong wit u ur a pretty girl y r u sad"asked ryan
"im... sad because veryone was calling me a newbie and didnt apreciate me
being nice to the...m sniff sniff"cried rebecca
so in school they hung out togather till primarty graduation then ryan and rebecca kissed
for 5 seconds then andy rebeccas dad took her away 6 years later...........
ryan still had picutres on rebecca on his wall in his room
then one day he herad on the news
" a 18 year old girl called rebecca who was in valencia at the time was kidnapped from her apartment in costa del sol she had a neverending sparkle in her right eye please help find her"asid the repoerter ryan looked at the pic of her he know who it was he got money from his mom and flew to valencia but when he got there he had to get the boat to costa del sol but the currents were rough and it had jsut started to snow so he packed up
and travelled from centre costa del rey to north of it then he seen a girl looked like becky
but he was not sure he called "rebecca its me ryan i care about u!"he shouted the girl turned around wit a sparkle in her eyethe girtl ran off into the snowstorm
ryan came across a snover he used irona tail it got hurt but then countered him with double team then he hit him across the forheasd wit a ice punch ryan had a bruse on his head and fell unconsisley.
he woke up he was half frozen he start walking again and he seen millions of snover in the caves they stared at him and he collapsed he couldnt think of the site of them all attacking him.
he woke up on a montain rebecca was there on the cliff she said "sorry (tears drop down her eyes)"she cried and then she fell on purpise offf the cliff and then ryan jumped off and caught up with her he grabbed herhand and cried and said"ill never let go not even if i die"
they fell into the waterfall but b4 they fell in ryan pushed rebecca away from it she fell into the lake and he went to a watery death the end
| Vote me and PyreTheTorchic in MoTM when it comes. :3 |
I'm with Shiny Loser on this one. This is, to be blunt, horrible. I didn't bother reading past the first line or two; you use no periods or anything correctly whatsoever, making this one big run-on sentence.
I don't care what your excuse is. Your writing (assuming this is your writing) needs loads of work.
WHAT IS WITH THESE FICS WHERE THERE'S NO SENSE AND IT GOES BY 2 QUICKLY AND THE MAIN CHARACTER DIES IN THE FIRST CHAPPIE!?!? ... srry... i dun like flaming but that was the second fic i've seen where (lookit the above) happens...