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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 06-23-2007, 04:51 AM
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Default The Shadow

The Shadow


Our story begins in the city of Washington D.C., America's capital and home to one of the greatest adventures that will ever occur. The story of two young men, one hugry for power and the other pure of heart, who become engulfed in a struggle for dominion that has been waged for centuries on end, the powerhungry one by choice, the other by force. As sad and noble thing really to protect the world without choice, but it must happen. But that is merely where our story begins. The story that holds the story, begins when the earth finally finished molding itself by it's own gravity and the human race first crawled out of the mud, fo you see, the humans were pure of heart back then, all godo and noble souls. But in order fr there to be good, there must be an equal evil to baance the world, and this evil did not like that it had to share the world with the putrid humans. This evil I speak of was the demonic population. A cursed and cruel race,varying in all manners from each other exactly how most humans looked very much the same. Order and chaos. Now you see, in the beginning of the human's time, the Demons happened to be ruling the earth, and they loved it. However, when the humans learned to speak and read, things got much messier. In this early world, much stock was placed in words, and evn moreso written words. This was a world where the arcane forces ran amok, and magic was the main one of those. And where there is magic, words have power. The demons had control over this ability, which is why the humans never really worried them, but with the eruption of human language, of written words, of these new words of power in the humans speaking that proved more powerful than the demons, they grew worried. And thus, they began to concoct what would be remembered by all survivors as the most destructive weaving of words (as spells were calle din those times) that has ever been spoken. A spell of such great power, meant to banish the human race to a dimension of shadows, was uncontrollable, of such great length that it was impossible for any demon, human, or any of the races of magic that evolved after this time could ever speak flawlessly. And with the weaving of words, misspeaking was lethal. In this particular case even moreso, because the words for demon and human were so similar in the demonic language, the weaver given the task of weaving the words (no, actually, the tenth, the first nine all banished themselves) screwed up that one key flaw, that one key sylable that seperated humans from demons, and in his blunder, sent all but a few demons tothe deepest, darkest corner of the millions of universes to rot for all eternity. Or so they thought.

Millions of years passed, and much hapened. The dwarfs, the elves, the derusans, and several thousand other word weavers, or spellcasters as they came to be known, branched off and evolved from the human race, adapting quickly to the environments they chose, and began to thrive, building up their civilizations just as sin began to creep into the hearts of humans, and they began to truly understand what power really was. For you see, as long as there is good in this world there must be an equal amount of evil in this world as well. And being the prime candidates, man was chosen by fate to become the perfect vessel, both good and evil, equally, the two sides of man battling for domination. sometimes one side wins, but for the most part there is no such thing as absolute purity or absolute corruption. There will always be good in people just as there is evil. And so, in their evil ways, they used their original power and language to weave words into powerful assualts on the offshoots of humanity, destroying them all, and then in their good natures, to prevent it from happening again, wove more words to bind humanities power to use the words, destroying the scroll with the spell written on it and leaving nothing more than a simple fairy tale about it. There are those peoplewho believe that the stories are true, though they are considered nutjobs, and they also believe that there may be those humans who can still, on occasion, unlock the power sealed within them to weave words and create spells. They are also regarded as lunatics. But who knows, they mght be right. After all, when it comes to humans, nothing is impossible.

I take you now form this world to another, a pit of eternal darkness known as Hell, possibly the stories of which are what derived the Hell of christianity. In this pit are the sould of the demons, locked away forever. After they had finished slow roasting the idiotic young weaver who botched up the spell and gotten them all sent there, an immediate struggle for control had begun, as one demon had, in the insanity that Hell tended to cause, kill the demonic leader Satin. As Satin had no heir, there was no one to take up his mantle, and whenever that has happened in history, be they human or otherwise, a turmoilic struggle for power begins. The difference between the two though is how it is dealt with. Humanity deals with it using cold hard politics to rise to the top by popularity. Demons brutally and mercilessly slaughter each other in cold blood. It's difficult to tell which is worse. In ayn case, usually in the human's domain this struggle only lasts a short while. For the demons, it lasted a thousand lifetimes, as it wasn't jsut one versus the other, it was an even split between sides, with only a small group not taking part. This group, known as the Kinchou, were a very small majority of the demonic population, a group of peacful creatures who had all the evil appearance of a demon and all the kindness of a human. They tried to hide themselves, as it was a well known fact in the demonic world of Hell that any Kinchou discovered would be devoured on the spot by whoever discovered them. This was a world where to demons, being eaten was the ultimate disgrace, never given to anyone short of a traitor or a pathetic loser. The two sides battling for power eventualy settled and one side took charge, the much more cruel and evil Nethosiors led by their ruler Hades. With Hell under new management, the policie of government changed, and the two top priorities were destroying the few Kinchou in existence and getting out of Hell and back into the world from which they originated. And the first part was already almost coomplete. There was only one Kinchou left in the Hellish universe, and that one was really no saint to begin wtihm the closest thing a Kinchou can get to being evil. That would be a jerk. The second part was also already underway. A young man on the other side was being manipulated by a masked figure within Hades Empire, one without a name who merely went by the Ferryman, the one who could somehow connect the human world with Hell if only for a short imte and manipulate things going on there. He followed one particular young man as his pawn, altering the course of events and the way things happened to make sure that fate brought the demons home. The book was already in place, the connections all but cut, and the dark rituals all in place to finish the job. But of course, tehre was a problem. An annoying little pest who wouldn't stop bothering the ferryman's pawn. This teenager was always on the pawn's back, trying to set him straight from the path that the ferryman had so carefully laid out. There was no one more perfect, and the corruption could not be stopped. Meanwhile, deep in the underbelly of Hell, Hades and his minions were all firghtfully busy. They had to decide on the ones who would travel through to the other side to finally release the seal and open the portal between worlds. Finally, the 99 most powerful warriors were chosen from among 1000 to accompany Hades to their new temporary home. Meanwile, the pawn and his pest continued to agitate the Ferryman, until finally, it was decided that if they waited any longer the boy would ruin everything. Teh men were gathered, the thoughts put in place, and finally, the spell started. Everything was set up according to plan, nothing could go wrong... except for one thing. No one noticed that there was one more in the group of demons then there should have been. But, too late, as the portal opened, and the pawn's part as a person was done. And the first thing that was seen by the demons to welcome them to their new planet were the hands of the pawn, Kevin Ravirn, and the face of the one who would threaten their entire existence, the face of Cole Reiken.
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  #2  
Old 06-23-2007, 04:57 PM
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Default Re: The Shadow

Even though I love fantasy, this is the second fantasy story that I couldn't understand much. The first paragraph sounded like a Kingdom Hearts kind of thing, the second paragraph sounded like an Inkspell sequel, and the third, I did not understand much of it. Of course, I know what Hell is, I know who Satin and Hades are, but I could not understand much of this... prologue, I hope... Because if it's the first chapter, I will not understand the rest of the story.

Oh, and one reason I can't understand much of the story is because there are some words I'm not even sure that are words. Can you try typing the future chapters in Word, because it's a life-saver. And please make the paragraphs shorter. Thank you.
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Old 06-23-2007, 05:46 PM
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Default Re: The Shadow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffreys-Darkness View Post
Even though I love fantasy, this is the second fantasy story that I couldn't understand much. The first paragraph sounded like a Kingdom Hearts kind of thing, the second paragraph sounded like an Inkspell sequel, and the third, I did not understand much of it. Of course, I know what Hell is, I know who Satin and Hades are, but I could not understand much of this... prologue, I hope... Because if it's the first chapter, I will not understand the rest of the story.

Oh, and one reason I can't understand much of the story is because there are some words I'm not even sure that are words. Can you try typing the future chapters in Word, because it's a life-saver. And please make the paragraphs shorter. Thank you.
It's supposed to be confusing. That's the whole point, that's my style of fantasy writing. It starts out confusing, and then everything becomes w=much more clear over time. Yes, it is in fact the Prologue, and don't worry, not all stories are supposed to be clear cut at the begining.

As for those words you didn't understand

A. I don't have a Word Proccessor, just a stupid program called Wordpad, and it doesn't have Spell Check, unfortunately, and

B. Some of those words I actually did make up, and will explain more about as the story moves along. This story is very much rooted in mythology, and a colision of religion, but I'm also throwing some extra stuff I created to keep it from being another one of those generic fantasy stories.

Now, for those words you don't get, if it looks kind of like another word you know that would fit in, then it's probably a typo and then in your head just replace that word. If it doesn't, it's probably somethiing special I came up with.
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  #4  
Old 06-23-2007, 06:19 PM
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Default Re: The Shadow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeveeking929 View Post
It's supposed to be confusing. That's the whole point, that's my style of fantasy writing. It starts out confusing, and then everything becomes w=much more clear over time. Yes, it is in fact the Prologue, and don't worry, not all stories are supposed to be clear cut at the begining.

As for those words you didn't understand

A. I don't have a Word Proccessor, just a stupid program called Wordpad, and it doesn't have Spell Check, unfortunately, and

B. Some of those words I actually did make up, and will explain more about as the story moves along. This story is very much rooted in mythology, and a colision of religion, but I'm also throwing some extra stuff I created to keep it from being another one of those generic fantasy stories.

Now, for those words you don't get, if it looks kind of like another word you know that would fit in, then it's probably a typo and then in your head just replace that word. If it doesn't, it's probably somethiing special I came up with.
Well, that way of writing isn't very popular... Oh well. I hope I can understand the first chapter. Oh, and in my fanfic, you should read what I replied.
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  #5  
Old 06-23-2007, 06:21 PM
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Default Re: The Shadow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffreys-Darkness View Post
Well, that way of writing isn't very popular... Oh well. I hope I can understand the first chapter. Oh, and in my fanfic, you should read what I replied.
Don't worry, it's... somewhat simple. There's only one thing in there that might be seen as confusing, and I'll explain that in Chapters Two and Three.
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