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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 06-02-2007, 01:12 AM
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Default My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

This is my first story and it took me 3 days to write.BE BBRUTEL! This is the first chapter. if you like it wait for the 2nd!

Go Hotstuff!” yelled Marinda. From her hand, she threw a red and white ball, out from that a weird blue human like catfish with gold whiskers. “You’re Swampert, aye?” said Da Ink softly. “Go Sceptile!” Like Marinda, he threw a red and white ball, a pokeball, out came a different thing, a mutant human green thing with leaves on it. Vance was being the judge. They were in the world of Pokemon, best friends for life. Marinda and Inaki (Da Ink in most cases) were world-renowned Pokemon trainers. Vance well was not as famous, but known for trying be as good as Marinda and Inaki.
Inaki was much better in battles, training, and League tournaments, while Marinda was great at contests and everything else. Vance well not good in either category. Black hair, black eyes, and light brown skin, Marinda loved Swamperts. Black hair, black eyes, and Chillan skin, Inaki loved Sceptiles and knew everything about them! Vance’s pale skin, brown hair, and hazel eyes, he loves Blazikens. Marinda wore a nicely tight modest blue t-shirt and jeans. Inaki wore a limited edition Pokemon Championship t-shirt and jeans. Vance wore a ‘hyper’ t-shirt and jeans.
“This match is versus Inaki and Marinda! Marinda is using her Hotstuff, Swampert. Inaki is using his Sceptile. Let the match…BEGIN!” yelled Vance. “Just shut it Vancelancedance and let’s go! Sceptile, use leaf blade!” ordered Inaki. The leaves on Sceptile grew and look like rippers without the stick. Sceptile speed toward Hotstuff. “Right, Hotstuff use earthquake and use the flying rocks to hide yourself!” Marinda said with unusual calmness. Hotstuff turned his hands into fists and started to glow. Then he pounded the ground with his glowing fists. The earth started to shake from the pounding and rocks flew everywhere. Suddenly Hotstuff disappeared.
“Ahhh, the Hotstuff disappearing act. Sceptile use solarbeam!” Inaki said softly. The seeds on Sceptile’s back started to glow with the sunlight gathering. “And Inaki is being a complete moron…” said Vance rudely. “ SHUT UP, VANCE!” yelled Inaki. “Rude much Inaki?” chuckled Marinda, “Hotstuff use mudshot!” Out of nowhere came a shot of mud and hit Sceptile hard. Sceptile’s solarbeam ended before it could start. “Hotstuff, keep doing what we practiced!” More mudshots hit Sceptile, each one in different places. “What?” Inaki and Vance said confused. “Well, Sceptile is knocked out and Marinda and Hotstuff is the winner,” Vance said stupidly. “For the second time, in her Pokemon trainer life.”
“Hotstuff…..MUDSHOT ON VANCE!!!” screamed Marinda, pointed at Vance. “What? OH NO!” Vance ran off screaming like a little girl, Hotstuff’s mudshot chasing after him. Marinda and Inaki were laughing hard. “Marinda, great one!” cried Inaki. You know it was not always like this. Famous, rich and the most powerful trainers in the world. Let us look back!




Well what you think?
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Last edited by kamiam; 06-06-2007 at 03:33 PM. Reason: better story!
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  #2  
Old 06-02-2007, 01:34 AM
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Default Re: My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

I think it is a big lie..... i always beat you nomatter what and you know it marinda.......... you better change that or else
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  #3  
Old 06-02-2007, 01:43 AM
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Exclamation Re: My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

da ink my name is kamiam NOT MARINDA any way it was dump LUCK!!!
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Old 06-04-2007, 05:19 PM
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Default Re: My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

It has some good descriptions in it about the battle and such, but I do have a few things you should change... How about making the chapters longer? I thought that you said that was the whole first chapter, but it's kind of short ... Also, to make it easier to read, you may want to start a new line when somebody says something... If you know what I mean.
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Old 06-04-2007, 08:26 PM
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Default Re: My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

sorry it wasnt the full chapter. but i changed a few things so now it is better!
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Old 06-04-2007, 10:18 PM
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Default Re: My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kamiam View Post
sorry it wasnt the full chapter. but i changed a few things so now it is better!
Okay, that's cool :) I don't mean to be picky; just like to give advice xD
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Old 06-05-2007, 01:44 AM
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Default Re: My Pokemon Journey (G/PG)

Okay, make it long, post the full chapter in that case. Make the battle longer and more despirctive. Basically, longer and more details.
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