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04-11-2007, 11:27 AM
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Elite Trainer (Level 1)
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Can Somone Please Change Th into The on my topic name thing
Characters In The Story:
Princess Ruto (Underwater Sea Princess)
Link (Hero)
Princess Zelda (The Kings Daughter)
King (The King Of Hyrule)
More To Be Added
CHAPTER 1: (INTRO)
Once In The Old Old Desert There Lived Many People, They Soon Thought They Should Work Together And Make A Place For People To Live. There Was A King That Had No Daughter, Servants, Nor Crown. So The People Built A Castle And A Town. One Day At The Edge Of A Cliff Great Evil Rose And Found Its Way To The Castle And The Town. The People Did Not Want To Die So The King Thought Of An Idea, He Ran As Fast As He Could To The Giant Bell. He Rang The Bell. Then The Goddess' Nayru, Farore, And Din Heard The Kings Pleas. They Decided To Sink The Evil Down Through Water, Also Taking Hyrule With It. Many People Died. But, The King Got Transformed Into A Boat While Touching The Water. He Knew What To Do.The Tale Goes On... And Time As We Know It... May Be Up
Last edited by Blaziken Knight; 04-11-2007 at 02:51 PM.
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04-11-2007, 11:30 AM
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Elite Trainer (Level 1)
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
CHAPTER 2: (Not Intro Anymore)
Time Has Gone By And The King Has Searched For A Great Hero. The King Knew That The Darkness Would Rise Again. Then Suddenly, A Big Tornado Came Out The Water, It Sucked The Boat In And It Was Blasted Away. It Soon Landed On Shore. The Boat Which Is THe King Landed On An Island Called SeaShore Isle. The King Got Transformed Back Into Normal But He Didn't Let Anyone See Him.
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04-11-2007, 11:41 AM
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Elite Trainer (Level 1)
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Chapter 3: (Chapters Are Fast For Me Lol)
A Girl Named Medoly Which Was A Pirate Was Seen By An Old Man, She Was Captured By A Bird.The Old Man Called A Young Boy Named Link. Link Said "What?", Then With Fright The Old Man Said, "Theres A Girl, Shes Been Captured By A Bird!, Shes Up There In The Sky!!". Link Shouted "Dont Worry Young Girl I'l Save You". The Old Man Said "Wait, You'll Need This If You Want To Destroy That Bird", The Old Man Gave Link A Sword. Link Said "Thanks", Then He Ran Up A Steep Mountain And Saw The Girl Get Dropped Into A Bunch Of Trees. Link Ran Accross A Bridge And Went In A Cave. He Found 2 Dark Birds So He Said "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" And He Ran Up To The Birds And Twisted Around In Circles With His Sword Out And The Birds Turned Into Dust. Link Found The Girl And Got Her. They Both Came Out The Cave. Then Links Sister Lorelei said "Big Brother!" Lorelei ran accross the bridge then suddenly it broke, Lorelei fell down almost into the water then a giant bird attacked her thinking it was Medoly. Link Got So Angry And Scared That He Ran Off The Cliff And Jumped For Lorelei. Medoly Grabbed Link And Said "Argh You Idiot. Shes Gone!". Link Stared And Watched His Sister Fly Away. Medoly Slid Down The Cliff With Link Then Said "Here, For Helping Me Have This Half-Shield!". Link Said "Its Just Half..." Then Medoly Winked Then Said "Hahaha, After You Lack Courage It Will Be Full", Link Suddenly Felt Strong With All His Stuff So He Said "I FEEL STRONG!!!". The Shield Slowly Lighted Up And Became Full, LinK Smiled And Medoly Hugged Link Then Medoly's Pirate Ship Came...
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04-11-2007, 11:54 AM
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Elite Trainer (Level 1)
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Chapter 4:
Medoly Said "Hey Guys". Then Smiff Said "Hi Medoly, Hop Aboard", Medoly Flipped Into The Ship. Link Stared. Medoly Said "Say Goodbye To Your Family Then Get Back Here" Link Said Goodbye To Everyone And Came Back. Medoly Said "Hop Aboard Our Ship We'll Help You Save Your Sister", Link Hopped Aboard And Left. Soon They Stopped At Wind Island. Medoly Said "Get Yourself A Sail". Link Got A Sail And Then Was Teleported Into A Ship. Link Heard A Voice Saying "Hello" Link Got Scared. Link Noticed He Was In A Boat Then The Boat Said "For A Hero, You Are Uterly Dull Witted". Link Said "Huh?" Then The Boat Said "I Am A King, I Will Guide You To Your Sister If You Find Princess Ruto" Link Said "But Whe-..." The King Said "Princess RutO Is Underwater So Here Take This Magic" Link Was Given Magic And Was Able To Breath Under Water. Link Swam And Swam And Found 4 Squid. He Got His Sword Out But It Was To Hard To Move UnderWater So He Checked His Supplies. He Had More Magic He Used It On Himself And His word Could Move Easily. He Slashed The Squid' And Swam. He Soon Found Out That He Was Fainting From Water. Soon He Woke Up And Somone Was Right Infront Of Him. "Hi" Said The Person. "Who Are You?" Cried Link. "Im Princess Ruto" Said Princess Ruto. Link Said "Follow Me, A KinG Wants You", Princess Ruto Whispered To Herself "King... Could It Be, Is My Father Here?" Link And Princess Ruto Swam Off And Then The Boat Saw Princess Ruto, The Boat Said "Hello Princess Ruto, Remember Me?", "Daddy?" Said Princess Ruto. The Boat Grabbed Princess Ruto's Necklace And Said "This Is What I Gave To You When Darkness Rose. It Was To Keep You Safe", The King Sailed Over To An Island And Rested, The King Turned Normal And With His Hands He Got His Necklace And Held It Aswell As Princess Ruto's Necklace.He Pushed Them Together And Princess Ruto Stood Infront, And In The Middle Of The Necklaces. She Got Transformed Into A Goddess, The Princess Said, "Im A Goddess?, Oh Yes I am, Im Sorry Link, All This Trouble Is My Fault, Dont Worry, You Might Be The Hero That Swore To Help Us Generations Ago" Link Smiled.
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04-11-2007, 12:49 PM
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Elite Trainer (Level 2)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Sigh. One of the most annoying, n00bish things on earth is that People Write Like This When On Forums. But It's Even Worse When You Actually Put It In A Fic.
Okay, that's over. But I hate to tell you, that's not only annoying, it's bad grammar which isn't good for a fic. Your chapters also need to be longer. 3 pages in Word at least. So I suggest you start editing away your capital letters, and extend your chapters, describing more. Or else, don't expect any good reviews other than flaming, because what you've done so far doesnt really deserve the former.
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04-11-2007, 02:50 PM
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Elite Trainer (Level 1)
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny Loser
Sigh. One of the most annoying, n00bish things on earth is that People Write Like This When On Forums. But It's Even Worse When You Actually Put It In A Fic.
Okay, that's over. But I hate to tell you, that's not only annoying, it's bad grammar which isn't good for a fic. Your chapters also need to be longer. 3 pages in Word at least. So I suggest you start editing away your capital letters, and extend your chapters, describing more. Or else, don't expect any good reviews other than flaming, because what you've done so far doesnt really deserve the former.
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DONT POST HERE UNTILL IVE FINISHED!
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04-11-2007, 07:57 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: im in ur town, burning ur buildingz
Posts: 2,370
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaziken Knight
DONT POST HERE UNTILL IVE FINISHED!
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First of all, you have no right to yell at him for that when you never said not to post here until you've finished. Second, when someone attempts to review your far below average story that doesn't deserve any attention, you should listen. Honestly, this is really bad. You need to run your chapters through some sort of spell-check or grammar checker, get rid of alot of your capital letters, learn proper punctuation, and take a spelling class higher than kindergarten. Then, I would go read the guides shown in this post. After that, I would go read Neo's guide, which is also a helpful tool for writing. Then, as a final guide, I would read Serebii's Advice for Aspiring Authors. After that, I would learn how to respesct members that try to help you, rather than yelling at them.
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04-13-2007, 08:14 PM
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ASB Official
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Y'all stay off my property!
Posts: 8,467
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Oh, not to mention that not only should you not yell, all members are allowed to post in a fic thread to evaluate and give comments and advice. Plus, they have to, becuase you aren't allowed to double post, which is exactly what you did up there. If I were you, I would gladly accept the advice with open arms, and not yell at anyone, since that is also against the rules (flaming).
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04-13-2007, 08:16 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: im in ur town, burning ur buildingz
Posts: 2,370
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Actually Nate, not to contradict you there, but you can double-post chapters in the fanfic section, just not anywhere else.
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04-13-2007, 08:33 PM
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ASB Official
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Y'all stay off my property!
Posts: 8,467
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Re: Th Legend Of Zelda: A Tale To Tell
Quote:
Originally Posted by LordZangoose
Actually Nate, not to contradict you there, but you can double-post chapters in the fanfic section, just not anywhere else.
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Oh. Please ignore that part of my post.
__________________
URPG/ASB Stats
98% of teens won't stand up for God. Repost this if you think that statistic is the most laughable thing ever.
My new AIM username is GrayFedora12. Do not respond or click on links from any IMs from LordKhajmer.
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