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Old 07-31-2006, 08:39 PM
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Espeon Rinage Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 3)
Join Date: Mar 2006
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Default Re: The Ultimate Story

Reality: Meeting Pual in there was kinda a small chance, but I coul;d see the story happening this way, especially with a Snorlax and a bouncer in the house.

Grammar/Spelling: Not many mistakes

Length: Just fine Matto ^^

Description: Description is one of my favourite parts of grading, I personally think it is my strong suit, anyway, you had aslot of good description, but maybe describe what the pokemon look like, say you are telling a story to someone who has never heard of pokemon. Also, insted of boring words like black, use a compare, like jet black feathers, like the midnight sky.

Battle: Both good and ammusing, maybe just a little more on Whynut allthough, her didn't take too much damage.

Outcome: This was unfortunatly quite close for you, definatly not the best story I have sen, but Yannama Captured, Whynut Captured! Try to improve next time, this was very close to a fail.

Note: If you post requesting me to delete this post so you can edit it into your last post, Ill be happy too, just remember my wage for it ;)

Made By Me :D
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