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Old 02-23-2013, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: [Mewtwo Invasion] Round 1 - Saraibre Ryu vs. Socratic Sarcasm (Judge: 3m0d0ll).

I I of I I I

-

Saraibre Ryu

[Cayci] Galvantula
Ability: Compound Eyes.
Health: 100%
Energy: 86%
Points: 48.
+1 Acc; Taunted for four more actions; protected by Light Screen for three more actions.


Socratic Sarcasm

[Esme] Chandelure
Ability: Flash Fire.
Health: 89%
Energy: 84%
Points: 45.


Stuff I didn't like:
“Hell I even scoffed at the prospect.” There should be a comma after Hell (-1).
“There was one thing you didn’t do with Cayci, and that was threaten me,” You changed who the narrator was, from the trainer to the Pokemon (-1).
“remained as the sticky webbing Galvantula specialized in; webs composed of electrical energy.” The way you phrased this did in fact make it seem like Electroweb was normal webbing encased in electricity, so I can see how Socratic decided to utilize this threads.
Socratic, I find it unlikely that a simple Sunny Day+Heat Wave could dehydrate the trees enough to allow them to burst into flame, as it would take more than a few second for the plant life to be completely dehydrated (-1).
I'm neutral towards this part, but during your appeal, Socratic, I got a really Stephen King feel form it. It was really Pet Semetary-ish, imo, especially the spoken words. That being said, I feel like your Appeals are becoming a bit too psychotic for something that's supposed to be able to happen in the Anime (-2).
“... if it was attached to them, weren’t going to be saved,” (-1).
“Yes the flames were still...” You need a comma after Yes (-1).

Stuff I did like:
I thought using the silk you believed was there to go under light screen and attack Cayci was amazingly clever and worked really well (-3).
“I pulled my hands out of my pockets,” I really liked this more than you can understand; the fact that you remembered your hands were there and followed though proves that you pay amazing attention to detail (-1).
Using the dry air to create static electricity that powered up your power was a great bit to add in (-2).
Sabi, you've done a fantastic job avoiding and countering all of Socratic's moves. From the manipulation of the fire to dodging the Inferno (-6).

Saraibre Ryu

[Cayci] Galvantula
Ability: Compound Eyes.
Health: 85%
Energy: 54%
Points: 41.
+1 Acc; Taunted for one more action; protected by Light Screen for one more action; BRN.


Socratic Sarcasm

[Esme] Chandelure
Ability: Flash Fire.
Health: 82%
Energy: 69%
Points: 35.
Flash Fire active for three more actions.


-

Just a note: Sucker Punch has not hit Esme yet.

Sunny Day is active for one more Round.

Socratic Sarcasm, your move, please.

__________________
I need a new sig, uhg.
██ ->>> Links. Twin: Justin. Pair: Corey. ||・

Last edited by 3m0d0ll; 02-25-2013 at 11:11 PM.