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Old 11-01-2012, 05:37 AM
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Default Ten Reasons Why You Should Have a Magikarp

Difficulty: Easiest

This annoying kid in my class at school named Harley said that Magikarp were lame today at lunch. I told him he was stupid. Then he presented me with a challenge. He told me to write down ten reasons why every trainer should have a Magikarp. I decided I'd take him up on that challenge. Why? I, Barry Longhorn, do not back down from challenges, no matter how stupid they may seem.

So here I sit in my room with paper and pen in front of me; I started something in history today, but Miss I Hate You All ripped my paper up, so I have to start over again. I shall tell you why you should have a Magikarp while I write down these ten reasons for Harley so I can rub it in his face tomorrow at lunch. And this time, Miss I Hate You All won't be ripping my paper up since I did it at home, and I've already done her homework.

1) They're easy to get. Just get a fishing rod from a fisherman. They like giving them to new trainers. Clearly the fishermen want you to get a Magikarp too.

2) It sucks until it evolves into Gyarados. Okay, this isn't really a good reason, and it's not really helping Magikarp's case, but this is probably the only thing Harley and I would agree on. Just keep reading! I promise you Magikarp do not suck!

3) After it evolves, it's a great starter Pokemon. Gyarados are pretty legit.

4) If your Gyarados is from the Dream World, and its ability is Moxie, you're one lucky fish. Win all of the battles! Your Gyarados' Attack stat will go up every time you knock out a Pokemon with it. Of course, if your Gyarados isn't from the Dream World, no harm done. Intimidate will make up for that since it makes the Attack stat of your opponent's Pokemon go down. It's a win-win situation.

5) Gyarados is a Water and Flying type Pokemon, so it's really weak to Electric types. Have no fear though! Gyarados learns a bunch of useful moves that can help you in battle! It learns some really cool Dragon type moves, so it can take out some Dragons. It can also learn Thunder (or Thunderbolt if you want the weaker version for whatever weird reason) to take out some Flying or Water types, and it can learn Earthquake to take out any Electric types looking to get rid of your Gyarados. Basically, it's a crappy fish that turns into a freakin' awesome and really useful Water and Flying fish thing... I don't even know what a Gyarados is.

6) Filet of Magikarp is delicious, man. If you're by a body of water, whip out your fishing rod, catch some Magikarp, start a fire, and dinner is served. At least, I'm pretty sure Magikarp tastes good. I'm not really sure what else people in the Pokemon world would eat besides Pokemon. I wouldn't recommend raw Magikarp though, but that's just because any raw fish tastes nasty anyways, and you'd get sick from it. So cook your Magikarp!

7) It has a decent Speed once it evolves into a Gyarados. Magikarp has decent Speed too, but Magikarp's move pool sucks anyways. Just get a Gyarados! There's faster Pokemon than Gyarados, but it has an excellent Attack stat, and that combined with Moxie would make it a beast!

8) Loads of people already have a Magikarp or its evolved form, Gyarados! Just get one already! Join the club! That means you too, Harley!

9) I heard there's a guy in the Kanto region that sells Magikarps. If you don't want to catch it, buy it! He's cool enough to have one, and he's cool enough to have so many that he'll sell you one! Obviously you need one if someone's selling them.

10) Finally, they call Gyarados the Atrocious Pokemon, and they call Magikarp the Fish Pokemon, which isn't really that funny because we can clearly tell that it's a fish. Gyarados may be called the Atrocious Pokemon by the Pokedex, but I call it a pretty [s]damn[/s] freakin' useful Pokemon.

And that, ladies, gentlemen, and Harley, is why I, Barry Longhorn, think that you should go turn on your Pokemon game, go to the nearest source of water, and catch a Magikarp. If you don't, you're missing out on one of the best Pokemon in the game, and that will make you lame. Lamer than lame, actually. So lame that lame wouldn't even be able to describe you anymore. So what are you waiting for?! Go catch a Magikarp and evolve it now!

Pokemon to Catch: Magikarp
Character Count: 4198
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