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Old 07-16-2012, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: [Crossover] Interlinked [FF/PKMN] (SU/DS)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffeh View Post
Name: Lilly Brice
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Appearance:

Personality: Lilly is quite smart for her age and she likes to let people know. She can be a little arrogent and big headed but a loyal friend if need be. She will never abandon her friends and she hates seeing her pokemon get hurt and likes to protect them and make sure they dont get hurt whenever possible. She can also be extremely feminist and hates anyone that thinks girls can't do a man's job.
Home World: Pokemon
Pokémon:
Gardevoir - Female - Dancer
Beautifly - Female - Butter
Riolu - Female - Angel
Espeon - Female - Solar
Umbreon - Female - Moonlight
Skitty - Female - Fluffball

Link: Deoxys
Other: Angel is always out of her pokeball

Ok I know the personality is short but I sort of rushed this... ^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by larvitard27 View Post
Ya know what? fine. i'll redo my application. here.
Name:Markis Ray
Appearence:
Pokemon: Grovyle-Female-Maple
Riolu-Male-Husk
Staraptor-Female-Gale
Quilave-Male-Torch
Larvitar-Female
Scyther-Male-Deth
Description:An ingenuitive youth, he has made his way through many challenges. His partner and best friend is Maple. Although not starting his journey until ten years old, Maple willfully became his partner at seven. Though not winning every battle, Markis has three gym badges. Even in the toughest situation, his pokemon stay loyal and trusting.
Age:13
Hometown:Oreburgh City
Link: Deoxys
Alright then, I honestly have problems with both of these. Nothing personal, but I just do. I'll address them individually.

@Fluffeh: Yes, this SU is rather short. Especially compared to your other one. I do think you could make the personality a bit longer, and I would personally would like to see History added with at least her reaction to the worlds merging and how she's getting along. The latter isn't needed for acceptance, however. What I did notice that I would liked fixed though is this:

Quote:
She will never abandon her friends and she hates seeing her pokemon get hurt and likes to protect them and make sure they dont get hurt whenever possible.
Now I don't think you'll disagree when I say that could have been worded a lot better. As is it's a run-on sentence, so I would like that fixed. I could see that being broken up into two or three sentences with some edits.

@larvitard27: First of, how you seemed to react with having to posting your SU again was completely unnecessary. That just gave me a bad vibe from the start. You didn't need to post it again. You could have simply edited your original post with what I asked for and then inform me that you had done so. I could have gone back, found it, and then review it again. You need to be careful how you word things in posts. Since it's over the internet and not in person or through verbal conversation what you post can be taken the wrong way. Now that I got that off my chest, I'll move on to your SU itself. I have to address you did not follow the format of the SU. Yes you have most of the info you would need, but it's not in the right order and some parts are mislabeled or missing. I am having to assume that what you have as Description is supposed to be Personality, and that is incomplete. You also have parts in in that would go into History. You are also missing Home World, where you could have included your character's hometown. I mean we all make mistakes, but with some basic things that should have been easy for any new role player I have had to correct you. I don't want to deny you completely, but as is I still cannot accept your SU.

@Fluffeh&larvitard27: You both are asking for the same Legendary, and as I said before there can only be one. So how I think I'm going to handle this is whoever makes the edits required first for a completed SU will get it. The other will have to change it.

@everyone: I do apologize since I said I'd have Interlinked up either yesterday or the day before but have failed to do so. Things came up. But I do assure you that it will start soon. I will do my best to have it started later today and I will PM everyone on the Accepted list when I do so with a link to it. I appreciate you all hanging on this long and bearing with me. I do hope that this RP will not disappoint and be worth the wait.
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